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Location: Aboard Mephistopheles, Dante's Room |
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It's been a while since the last time I had to make a status report on Limbus Company Media. |
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Needless to say, after our collab with Rhodes Island in Terra, our accounts have been on FIRE right now. |
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Too bad I'm the only person who can somehow remember all of that... |
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But regardless, the endeavor (along with Hong Lu having to get into a small drama with his big sister, Yuanchun, in order to keep Xichun in the Hierarch seat) has made Limbus Company more aware of my exploits as the social media manager. |
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A few days ago, I was called to a meeting with Vergilius, Faust, Saude, and Hohenheim. |
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I wondered why that was, until we finally got there... |
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Location: LCM Content Creation Team Recording Unit, Past |
Hohenheim |
I'm sure the timepiece has quite a few questions on why they have been called here. |
Dante's Whiteboard |
"YEAH." |
Faust |
...You do realize you could text on your PDA, right, Dante? |
Vergilius |
I had hoped you would not point that out to them. |
| Faust |
Why? |
| Vergilius |
Them having to find a whiteboard and marker every time in order to communicate is, admittedly, quite humorous. |
| Vergilius |
Plus, it stops them from accidentally using that PDA for purposes that is not taking notes down or putting in Identity Cards for the Sinners. |
Saude |
Actually, that's what we wanted to talk to you about. |
| Saude |
Manager Dante, starting today, you have been permitted to have... a Fixxer account! Congratulations! |
Dante |
<...> |
| Dante |
<Faust, what is Fixxer?> |
| Faust |
Fixxer is a City microblogging and social networking service. It is one of the world's largest social media platforms and one of the most-visited websites. Users can share short text messages, images, and videos in short posts commonly known as "fixes" (officially "posts") and like other users' content. |
| Faust |
The platform also includes direct messaging, bookmarks, lists, and communities. The current owners, F Corp., have been looking into implementing a job search as well. Users can also vote on context added by approved users using the Community Notes feature. |
| Faust |
Essentially, Dante, you are being given social media access. |
| Saude |
Precisely! Isn't that exciting?! |
| Saude |
Now, we here at the company have already set up a username and password, and we've found all of the Limbus Company related Fixxer accounts that already exist, so you don't have to chase around anyone to follow them. |
| Hohenheim |
It's also important that you keep your posting, uh, somewhat composed. We do not want to ruin your image of you having one of the more grounded personalities of Limbus Company's bus department. Any questions? |
| Vergilius |
I have one. Why? What is the purpose behind Dante having a Fixxer account? |
| Saude |
Pfft, Mister Vergilius, have you seen them? |
| Dante |
<...> |
| Saude |
They have an unmatched aura as a... a "funny little guy" I believe is the term Alyssa used. |
| Dante |
<What. I don't know what that means.> |
| Dante |
<Faust, what does that mean?> |
| Faust |
A "funny little guy," otherwise known as a "silly little guy," a "scrimblo," or a "skrunkly," is someone who is generally, erm... adorable/cute. In a bit of an out there way, sometimes pathetically so. Someone who is goofy or whimsical. |
| Dante |
<I-I'm not a funny little guy! I'm a... a harbinger of death, in charge of one of the City's only armies who can regenerate faster than they can die. What's quirky about that???> |
| Faust |
Dante is asking how they can be a "funny little guy" if they are also the manager of Limbus Company's bus department, a department mainly known for using their power to launch themselves at enemies and expecting themselves only to come back from the dead over and over. |
| Saude |
...You do have a point, and that is something I was considering. |
| Saude |
But Hohenheim, the LCA, some other officials within the company, and myself were looking at spare footage of you in videos the Sinners have posted, and you have a lot of "funny little guy" energy, I must say. |
| Saude |
Take this stream you were in of Rodya's for example. |
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Saude then showed me a clip of a stream Rodya did. It was on the game, CloverPit. |
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Location: Aboard Mephistopheles, Rodya's Room, Past |
Rodion |
Let's. Go. GAMBLING! |
| Rodion |
WOOOOOO! Just made the coin quota... barely. |
| Rodion |
That came down to the wire, though. I really need to see if I can somehow capitalize on Jackpots more. Heard that jar powerup helps with that. |
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Oh, god... I think I came inside Rodya's room right around here, without even knowing what the context of what she was saying was. |
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And then she said something like... |
| Rodion |
...No, chat, I'm not going to call it the piss jar. |
| Dante |
<The WHAT?!> |
| Rodion |
AH! Dante?! |
| Rodion |
C-Careful now, Dante! I might not be able to forgive you if you drop those. |
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I barely managed to hang on to the tray of cookies she was baking beforehand. She had told me to take care of them so she didn't have to stop streaming that day. |
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Thankfully, Rodya got me back up to a vertical basis. |
| Rodion |
Just, ah, set them next to my set up, hahaha~... We're playin' CloverPit, if you wanna watch. |
| Dante |
<Why were you talking about a piss jar?> |
| Rodion |
It's a powerup, I swear! |
| Rodion |
...Though, uh, thanks for actually watching my snacks, Dante. I really didn't expect ya too, I was probably gonna grab 'em in a few minutes. |
| Rodion |
...Who is asking if they're my boyfriend in chat??? |
| Dante |
<H-Huh?!> |
| Rodion |
Firstly, no, Dante is my manager. Secondly, they are a they/them! Sheesh... |
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Location: LCM Content Creation Team Recording Unit, Past |
| Saude |
That clip. That clip BROKE Fixxer for a while, you know that, right? |
| Vergilius |
How do you know it was not because of Sinner Rodion? |
| Saude |
Oh, she's part of it, sure, but Dante was mentioned more often within our search algorithm. They were trending all day a few days ago. |
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Hohenheim hands Vergilius a stat chart while Saude is saying that. |
| Saude |
The people love Rodya, and definitely the other Sinners, too, but they NEED Dante. |
| Dante |
<...They need me?> |
| Vergilius |
You are inflating their head. I can tell. |
| Vergilius |
Still, I suppose I cannot argue with facts... These numbers do look quite promising. |
| Hohenheim |
That, and you do kind of owe us for not relaying the fact that some of the higher-ups wanted Rodion to make an OnlyFi- |
| Vergilius |
I thought I told you we weren't going to talk about that anymore. |
| Faust |
I agree. ...There is no telling just how much damage that would do to the internet. Dante was right to overlook that as the media manager. |
| Hohenheim |
Leaving a lot of money on the table here... |
| Saude |
Hohenheim. I do not want to have to write you up to Human Resources. ...Again. |
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Location: Aboard Mephistopheles, Dante's Room |
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So ever since that day, much to my confusion... I've been maintaining my Fixxer account. |
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I'll be honest, being able to actually talk to people is liberating. Even if it is only through text. |
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I have to be very careful with what I post, however. Faust made it a point that I was only allowed to have this because the public currently perceives my character as competent, yet silly. |
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I mustn't ever veer too far off in one direction or the other, in fear of scaring individuals who have become fans of me off. |
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Speaking of which... that is the most insane part. In a week, not counting accounts from within Limbus Company, I've amassed about two thousand followers. |
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Paltry numbers compared to the Fixxer accounts of the other Sinners, sure, but to put it into perspective, I'm almost halfway close to Gregor's follower count (which stands at five thousand). |
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...Though obviously, no one's beating a heavy hitter like Vergilius's ten million followers any time soon. |
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But back to myself, the problem is that I didn't exactly know what people expected from a... a "silly little guy" like me, so I just posted some of my thoughts that I get while the Sinners are fighting. |
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The 280 character limit makes "fixes" difficult to post sometimes, but I manage. |
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Some of my favorites include... |
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Along with... |
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Though if I had a favorite "fix" so far, it'd probably be the post I made yesterday. |
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Yi Sang and Faust had taught me how to properly "meme," and, uh... |
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Well, I'm sure nothing will really come of it. |
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But I had enjoyment making it, and that's what matters. |
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Location: Meursault's Room |
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Meanwhile, in Meursault's room, a stream is going on with him, Ryōshū, Don Quixote, and Sinclair. |
Ryōshū |
Sinclair, I'm flambéing you at this rate. Your fans expect more out of you than this pathetic display. |
| Ryōshū |
Puff... Mediocre. S.A.D. |
Sinclair |
Such a disappointment?! Well, jeez! I-I didn't know you'd have Street Fighter II Turbo: Hyper Fighting experience, Ryōshū! |
| Sinclair |
I thought you'd be more into games like... I-I dunno, HITMAN? |
| Ryōshū |
Getting into a fight sometimes has more interesting art opportunities to me than planning an easy hit. |
| Ryōshū |
Sure, there is elegance in assassination, but finding someone out in the street and bathing in their blood raw? A true exhilaration. |
| Ryōshū |
...Also, I really like Balrog. |
Don Quixote |
Gasp! Doth thou mean Vega? |
| Ryōshū |
...Balrog. |
| Don Quixote |
N-No, I do believe his name was Vega... |
| Ryōshū |
It is Balrog. The main villain is called Vega. |
| Sinclair |
Wait, then, what about the boxer guy named Balrog? What was he called where you lived, Ryoshu? |
| Ryōshū |
M. Bison. |
| Sinclair |
...Feels like that's dangerously close to a lawsuit. |
| Don Quixote |
Lady Ryōshū, I do not mean to insult your intelligence, but I am quite sure his name is Vega! Furthermore, I remember the main villain being known as M. Bison. |
| Don Quixote |
The one donning the hat is Bison, the one donning the mask is Vega, and the one who boxes is Balrog. I am quite sure of this! |
| Ryōshū |
The hat guy is Vega, the mask guy is Balrog, and the boxer is Bison. Quite simple. |
Meursault |
Neither of you are incorrect. |
| Don Quixote |
...Eh? |
| Meursault |
In Street Fighter II, the Japanese citizens in the City know Vega's name as Balrog. Though most other regional dialects know him as Vega. Similarly, M. Bison in Japanese dialect is known as Vega. And Balrog in Japanese dialect is M. Bison. |
| Ryōshū |
Ah, yes. Localization issues... |
| Meursault |
Not exactly, but also not not exactly. The company, Capcom, assumed the character originally named M. Bison would be privy to lawsuits back then. So they had rotated the boss characters names for other dialects. |
| Meursault |
Personally, when it comes to this game, I am quite partial to the character of Ryu. |
| Ryōshū |
Pfft. No surprises there. Bland and vanilla. |
| Ryōshū |
Least the kid spices it up a bit with Ken's flames, even if that uninspired S.O.B is a blatant copy paste. |
| Sinclair |
I-I dunno, I kinda see a lot of me in him... |
| Meursault |
Pulling off the Dragon Punch input would always be something I could brag about to Maman. |
| Ryōshū |
It is called a Shoryuken, you tourist. |
| Don Quixote |
Yes, yes, well, none of you are ready for when it is my turn and I can finally show the world the power of ZANGIEF! Patriotic fighter from the Motherland with power that rivals a Color Fixer in sheer strength alone! |
| Sinclair |
Uh... Can we pause stream for a sec? |
| Don Quixote |
How dare you... 'Twas just about to be my turn on the sticks, Young Sinclair! |
| Sinclair |
I know, but like, holy shit, I just took a look at what's trending on Fixxer. You guys are going to want to see this. |
| Ryōshū |
Pass the phone. |
| Ryōshū |
...Pfffft. This is... a little out of left field for that C.H to post. |
| Don Quixote |
Hoh? What doth Manager Esquire fix? |
| Don Quixote |
Ah, wait! Is this one of these memetic images Lady Faust had told me about??? |
| Meursault |
...I see. |
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| Meursault |
This image appears to be a riff on the "Potential Man" meme, but the subject of such discourse is not just a man, but an entire faction. Our manager has even left this unwatermarked, meaning they have intended for this to be shared within multiple places... |
| Meursault |
I cannot help but think the ramifications on this are going to be noticeable. |
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Location: N Corp. Building, Meeting Room |
Gubo |
Miss Hermann, why do you look like you're about three seconds away from experiencing cardiac arrest? |
Jia Huan |
She's been staring at that phone quite heavily as well... |
| Jia Huan |
Almost with a contemptuous gaze. |
| Gubo |
No, I'm pretty sure you own the patent on that. |
| Jia Huan |
Wha-... Gubo, I can't own the patent on how people choose to stare. |
Aseah |
I am Aseah from the League of Nine. |
| Aseah |
Hermann, what seems to be the problem? |
Hermann |
... |
| Aseah |
...She's not saying anything. |
| Gubo |
We can SEE that, Aseah. |
| Gubo |
Listen, Director Hermann, we would like to assist you in whatever looks to be ailing you at this time, but we cannot figure that out without any sort of info. What seems to be the- |
Nelly |
I know that stare. |
| Gubo |
...Huh? |
| Nelly |
I know that stare all too well... from my time in Wuthering Heights. |
| Nelly |
Master Hindley, God bless his soul, he had been very, shall we say... closed off from the world. |
| Nelly |
Attempts to curb his alcoholism proved futile, so... I had attempted to get him to make a Fixxer account. So he could hopefully find someone to marry one day. |
| Nelly |
He never got off it. |
| Nelly |
That stare Mistress Hermann has, that is the stare of... |
| Nelly |
That is the stare of someone getting their ass beat in the Quote Refixes. |
Ahab |
Fellas, I have a very important question... What the FUCK is a Fixxer. |
| Nelly |
I'll tell you later. |
| Gubo |
But what the hell could possibly have her this pressed?! |
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Hermann, instead of immediately answering, tosses her phone over to Gubo. |
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After taking a deep breath, the object of her blind obsession out of her- |
| Ahab |
THAT'S NOT EVEN THE RIGHT N CORP. EMPLOYEE! |
| Gubo |
...What? |
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Don't interrupt me. You'll look schizophrenic. |
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Anyway, after taking a deep breath, Hermann begins to explain. |
| Hermann |
I had seen this post made by, of all people, that damn manager of Limbus Company... |
| Hermann |
It's a fucking- Have any of you heard of Potential Man??? |
| Gubo |
...What in the... |
| Gubo |
They just posted this? With no context? |
| Hermann |
Yes! They—posted that; but we—haven't even done anything to them! ...This week. |
| Hermann |
So I—wanted to Quote Refix it in retaliation; and they—RATIOED me! |
| Gubo |
Oh god. She's doing the emphasis thing. |
| Jia Huan |
That's how you can tell she's really mad... Well, let me see that, Gubo. I need to see how she responded. |
| Jia Huan |
Okay, okay... Feels like you really got ragebaited there, but I cannot blame you. That manager's original post was infuriating. |
| Jia Huan |
How exactly did you get ratio-... Oh no. |
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| Aseah |
I don't think I've ever seen a like number that high. |
| Gubo |
Because you get triple digit likes. At best. From the interns. |
| Jia Huan |
You say "hit fix!!" whenever a fix of yours can eclipse FIFTY LIKES. |
| Aseah |
Y'all are just jealous because I've got pretty boy swag. |
| Jia Huan |
FUCKING WHERE? |
| Gubo |
Hang on. I know the perfect response to this. |
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Location: Aboard Mephistopheles |
| Vergilius |
Dante. |
| Dante |
<Uh... yes, Vergilius?> |
| Vergilius |
Are you ragebaiting Director Hermann on Fixxer.com? |
| Dante |
<Uh...> |
| Faust |
Yi Sang and I had taught Dante how to make a meme. |
| Faust |
And, uh, from there, they had expressed interest in making... a Potential Man meme. About N Corp. |
| Vergilius |
And you allowed them to do so because...? |
| Faust |
Admittedly, it is quite hilarious. And somewhat factual, which is quite surprising. I had no idea they even knew of your run-in with Gubo. |
| Vergilius |
...I did not know of that either. |
| Faust |
They claim Charon told them, but I am not sure if that tracks. |
| Vergilius |
And, uh, of course I don't disagree with the notion that it is very much funny. The problem comes from them being able to track our activities if Manager Dante makes a habit of ragebaiting them. |
Charon |
Charon would like more fraudulent N Corp. memes. They make Charon smile while driving. |
| Vergilius |
...Suddenly, I am a lot more receptive to the idea. |
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Ping! |
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Oh. That was a notification. |
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Quickly, I check my PDA. |
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@IntellectualGeniusGubo has apparently Quote Refixed me. |
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Yi Sang |
IS THIS INDIVIDUAL TRYING TO TEST ME AT THIS CURRENT MOMENT? |
| Faust |
...It would seem Yi Sang has also seen the Quote Refix, judging from the yelling going on within his room. |
| Faust |
Perhaps I should stop him before he- |
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Ping! |
| Faust |
Oh. ...I forget how fast he types at times. |
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| Vergilius |
...Why do I get the feeling this is not going to end well? |
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It would turn out that my somewhat inflammatory meme had sparked an all-out Fixxer war. |
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...No, not a Fixer war. A "Fixxer" war. |
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| Faust |
Vergilius?! |
| Vergilius |
...What? This Limbus Company Media department technically encompasses me, too. Allow me to have a little bit of fun, Miss Faust. |
| Dante |
<...> |
| Faust |
... |
| Dante |
<I'll be frank. I had no idea he knew how social media worked.> |
| Faust |
For your sake, I'm not repeating that. |
