Chapter Text
As Homura walks Home, she finds it impossible to fully suppress the smile that tries to bloom on her face.
In some ways, that might seem strange, after all, the meeting with Mami and Kyouko went about as badly as it could have, while still having them work together at the end. Kyouko may have permanently damaged her relationship with Madoka before it could even be made, and Mami is tarnished by proximity.
As far as relations building exercises, this was the most pyrrhic of victories. Sure, they agreed to hunt the giant wraith together, but Homura’s fairly sure that the chances of Madoka and Homura working closely with Kyouko and Mami after that are lower now than before the meeting.
Yet Homura cannot help but feel glad.
When Kyouko accused Homura of not truly caring about Madoka’s ribbon and what it represented, it hurt more than Homura will ever admit. Because the fact Homura has been able to accept that loss at all is something that only days ago would have been unthinkable.
And so, for a few moments, Homura was left questioning her devotion and whether she was failing Madoka by being willing to move past the loss of her last gift to Homura.
But then Madoka said exactly what Homura needed to hear. Because Madoka is right, her feelings and devotion will never wane. Homura’s heart and soul belong to Madoka before all else. That she could ever question that is the height of foolishness. As Madoka was keen to remind her.
Homura knows that Madoka has no memories of Homura of the previous timelines, but when she talks to Homura so directly and understands her feelings so deeply. Sometimes it feels like Madoka hasn’t forgotten at all. As if echoes of all the times Homura has bared her heart to Madoka live on in her current incarnation.
Then, when the meeting came to an end, and the inevitable invitation to Mami’s was offered, Homura was certain that Madoka would accept. Yet she refused, not because Mami was off-putting or even that Kyouko had been rude to Madoka, but rather because of Homura.
Maybe in the past, that would hurt Homura, to feel like she was holding back her best friend from making better relationships. But this time, when Madoka said that she prefers to be with Homura, it made Homura feel like her heart was racing away from her.
Then Madoka said that Homura is her best friend. It’s true, Homura knows. After all, this Madoka lacks her other close friends due to her divergent history. Yet to have that relationship acknowledged, to know that for the first time in so, so long, Madoka sees Homura as Homura sees her.
It’s everything.
Madoka said she would always care, and she said it with such sincerity, such warmth and affection, that Homura knows that no matter what will come to pass, that will always remain true.
Somehow, in this happier world that Madoka brought about through her wish, Homura’s wish has been fulfilled as well. Not her stated one. That she would be the one to protect Madoka. But rather the one that Homura has held inside her since that first meeting with Madoka.
That she could see the future by her side, and have the person who means the world to her see Homura in the way Homura sees her.
Madoka has chosen Homura, not through coercion or manipulation. But truthfully and sincerely. She’s seen Homura, not just the surface, but the fractures, the devotion that lives in her heart, the doubts that plague her and the parts of herself that she’s lost. She’s seen all that, and has embraced Homura without a single doubt.
So, knowing all that, Homura really is in a rare good mood.
Yesterday, spending the day with Madoka, not as magical girls, but rather friends. Hanging out, playing games and having a sleepover. It’s the type of thing that Homura has prayed to be able to have for years. To have that hope rewarded and then reaffirmed today.
It makes Homura, for the first time in a while, look forward to what the future holds, rather than just wander onward with nothing but embers of devotion to let her keep going.
Homura’s walk back home is interrupted by her phone ringing. When she gets it out, she finds that the caller is Madoka. She quickly accepts and puts the phone to her ear.
“Homura, is that you?”
“Yes Kirika. What are you calling about? Did you forget something?” Homura can’t think of that many reasons for Kirika to call when they talked under half an hour ago in person.
“Homura, we need to meet up. Something happened. How close are you to your flat?” Madoka sounds on edge.
The contentment Homura had been feeling leaks out of her, leaving a sort of hollow tension. Of course something happened. Homura should have known that the fact she was feeling happy meant some new cataclysm would come down from the heavens to smite her.
“I’m a couple minutes away. Why, what happened?”
“Ok, go to your flat, I’ll head over. It will be easier to explain in person, but I was attacked by a wraith”
“What? Did you enter a miasma?” The thought seems mad. Homura’s trained Madoka more than well enough to know that entering a miasma without backup is unwise.
“No, it attacked me in the open, and it wasn’t a normal wraith. It disguised itself as that former friend of mine I mentioned yesterday to get me to lower my guard before attacking”
“What? Wraiths don’t do that? They're more or less standardised. I’ve never heard of one appearing out of a miasma, talk about disguising itself as a person” What the hell attacked Madoka?
“I know, but whatever this is, it said some concerning stuff before attacking me. Stuff that we need to talk about in person, beyond whatever new threat this is”
“Kirika, just to make sure, are you absolutely certain that the person that attacked you was a wraith, rather than a disguised magical girl?” That seems like the more rational explanation, wraiths can’t do that kind of thing. They aren’t individually unique like witches or the type to pull mind games. Even that giant wraith is an outlier, but it still fits the theme of wraiths.
“Considering I’m holding its grief cube, yes,” Madoka confirms.
“You destroyed it then?”
“Yes, when its surprise attack failed, it tried to retreat. I managed to get it before it could, though. When I damaged it, it glitched like a wraith, and when I killed it, the cube dropped, and the body vanished”
“That’s beyond concerning. How far out are you?”
“I’m getting the bus over. Give me 10 minutes, and I’ll be around”
“Ok, see you soon,” Homura unlocks her flat and steps inside. Before settling down to wait for Madoka.
Homura has a sinking feeling that whatever just attacked Madoka won’t be a one off. Homura has come to learn that when it rains, it pours and has little reason to believe this to be the thing that will prove that wrong.
A few minutes later, Madoka arrives and is let in by Homura.
“Ok, so what actually happened?” Homura asks after greeting Madoka. She would love to just spend time with her without having to get right down to it, but protecting Madoka is always the most important thing. So Homura cannot afford to waste a moment.
“The wraith looked exactly like Erika. It had her voice, too. It started talking to me, first kinda what you would expect from a friend you haven’t met for a long time, before it got weird. Accusing me of having changed and not being myself. Then she mentioned something about my memories being fuzzy before she attacked while I was distracted by what she was saying”
“The wraith, it could communicate coherently?
“Yeah, it even referenced the incident that broke off me and Erika’s friendship without me ever mentioning it. With that and its weird comments about my memories, I think it might have been basing itself on my thoughts about Erika or something. I don’t know though, you’re experienced, right? What do you think?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never encountered a wraith that could communicate, or any that displayed individually in any way. This is outside of my experience, though the idea it made use of your memories is concerning” Why would that thing show up now? And if there was one, could there be more of them?
Madoka sighs, “Ok, we’re both in the dark then. I suppose we can ask Kyubey later?”
As much as Homura hates that insufferable thing, it does have incentive to assist magical girls against wraiths, so she’s willing to bet that if Kyubey knows about this type of wraith, then it will tell her about it.
“That would be wise, he may know nothing, but if this has come up before, then he is likely to know more than us,” Homura agrees.
“Ok, um. Could you check my memories? I’m kinda concerned about what the wraith said about them being fuzzy. I don’t think it messed with my head? It more sounded like it was commenting on something already there. Either way, I’d feel more comfortable with a second opinion about it,” Madoka asks.
“Are you sure? Me actively checking your memories is a rather large invasion of privacy,” Homura points out.
“I know, but I trust you with anything you might see in there. Besides, it’s not like I want you to check my entire life, just the memories before my wish and a bit after them. Since this might be related to the fact I couldn’t remember my wish,” Madoka notes.
Homura never did learn what caused that, so she supposes Madoka has a point. It is worth checking.
“I’m glad I’ve proved myself worthy of such trust. Are you ready?” Homura looks at Madoka and prepares her magic.
“Go for it,” Madoka encourages.
Homura first looks at a few memories from after Kirika’s wish, such as yesterday and the archery practise at the start of the week. As far as she can tell, these are perfectly ordinary and clear memories. Nothing that would make them seem abnormal.
When she gets to just before the wish, however, she finds the same fog over the memories that was over the wish itself. Which, as Homura checks, seems to go back about two weeks of memories before the wish.
It is when Homura checks the memories before the fog however, that things get even more concerning. The memories before the fog seem to have a strange sheen to them and are strangely hazy. Not in the normal way of a faded memory, but like the entire thing is slightly blurred.
Out of concern, Homura skims over Madoka’s memories, not looking at the memories aside from noting the sheen and haze. Some, Homura notices have much less haze. It seems to be less present on earlier memories. The encounter Madoka mentioned with Erika is crystal clear, but still has that sheen over it.
Homura leaves Madoka’s memory, feeling infinitely more concerned now than she was before checking them.
Madoka blinks a few times and shakes her head before she fully comes out of the magic induced trance Homura’s magic put her in to do such a deep dive through her memories.
“Um, did you do it?” Madoka asks.
“I did. Your memories are strange”
“Err, what do you mean by that? You didn’t see anything weird in there, did you?” Madoka’s cheeks colour.
Homura blinks in confusion, before realising that Madoka was referring to a different type of weird to what Homura was talking about “No, not like that. It’s that your memories after your wish are clear, but the ones a few weeks before it are fogged, like your wish was. Not to mention almost all the memories before that are slightly hazy and have a strange sheen over them. I’ve not seen anything like it”
The colour in Madoka’s cheeks drains out, replaced by the much less enjoyable sight of her paling “What does that mean?” There is real fear in her voice.
“I don’t know, like I’ve said, I’ve not encountered anything like it. I don’t have the first clue how I would reverse it either, since your memories aren’t blocked just off. Without the original memories, I doubt I could put them back to what they should be. Assuming they ever were different. For all I know, they were always like that” As much as Homura hates to admit it, this is past her experience with her magic. She’s used her magic sparingly and even then made her changes rather blatantly. Not whatever weirdness is going on with Madoka’s memories.
Homura doesn’t even have the experience to guess what that is, or what caused it. Aside from the fact that it is all before her wish. Except her wish can’t be responsible, because it was healing a cat, something that shouldn’t have any effects on Madoka herself.
“So, what do I do?” Homura hates to see Madoka afraid, especially when she has no way to fix it.
“As far as I know? Nothing. If we encounter any more of those wraiths you mentioned, we might be able to learn more. Aside from that, maybe you could ask Kyubey if he has any ideas? Tell him what I told you about them being hazy and having a sheen over them. Maybe he’ll have some idea I don’t?” When Homura finds herself recommending asking Kyubey of all things, she knows it means she’s scarily out of her depth.
“Ok, I suppose that’s the plan then. Do you think it's having any effects on me right now?”
“I don’t think so. If I had to guess, this has been that way for a while, rather than that wraith managing to distort your entire memories, but only before your wish. If it had that power, I fail to see how you could have won the fight, which the grief cube you have from it proves you did. Furthermore, I didn’t see the traces I think that would have left”
Homura’s fairly sure she would be able to tell if the memories were full on altered. Unnatural memories are notably different from normal ones. Even if it would be hard for anyone not looking at them with magic like Homura’s to tell. Memories have a kind of metadata, the context surrounding the events, that Homura is fairly sure it would be impossible to perfectly replicate. It’s just too complex and interlinked. So the fact that bit didn’t seem at all off gives Homura the impression that Madoka’s memories weren’t altered directly to something else, like Homura could do.
“Oh, so… We don’t know, and there is nothing we can actually do,” Madoka confirms.
“More or less. I don’t think it’s harmful, just, off from normal” Though Homura does have one guess of what it could be. Though it’s one she can’t share with Madoka.
If Kirika is, as Homura has assumed, directly sourced from Madoka. The soul or essence of Madoka finding a new place in the universe, now that the original cannot exist, then she can think of a possibility. Did Kirika fully exist before her wish? Or did she simply appear fully formed, with a history that has enough detail for a life, but not what anyone would have if they actually lived said life? Is it possible that Kirika is an even more literal embodiment of Madoka than Homura had assumed? One that was wished into existence, or maybe created by Madoka’s greater self as a concept? Brought into being retroactively, rather than having existed a moment before she came into this world.
Just like how Homura appeared in this world as herself, with her past something that exists despite Homura never experiencing it. Due to her experiencing her original past instead. The past of the old world.
Of course, if that is true, then it will be impossible to prove. Either Kyubey will not know Madoka’s wish, like how it doesn’t know Homura’s. Or it will remember the wish Madoka made retroactively, and so not be able to tell Homura anything new.
Still, it is as good a hypothesis as Homura can come up with. Not to mention explaining why Homura encountered Madoka the day after she made her wish, despite never seeing her a single time before then. Surely Homura would have noticed someone so Madoka like in her school, unless of course, she didn’t exist in her school until she suddenly always had.
“So, I’m safe then? Nothing’s going to go wrong?” Madoka asks, cutting off Homura’s theorising.
“Yes, I am mostly sure that there is no risk. Nor do any of your recent memories seem at all affected, so I think you’re fine. Even if it is rather curious”
“Ok, I believe you. I suppose I should go then? I don’t think this place has a guest room” Kirika points out.
“No, it is a single bedroom flat, and considering you have school tomorrow, you probably need things you have stored at home” Homura points out. Madoka’s school bag and clothes aren’t at hers after all.
“Oh, yeah, obviously. Ok, well, I’ll stay on guard for any familiar faces. I suppose you should do the same if there are more of those things. Anyway, I’ll text you when I get home so you know I’m safe”
“Of course, see you soon, Kirika”
“See you, Homura. I’ll be looking forward to it” Madoka still seems slightly shaken by what Homura’s told her, but she’s always been good at putting up a strong front.
Madoka hugs Homura for a blissful moment before the two separate, and she departs.
As concerning as that wraith is, especially with what it could imply. At least Homura isn’t too worried about Madoka’s memories. Assuming her idea has some basis in the truth at least.
So despite some worries, and a bit of the contentment from earlier being soured. Once Homura receives Madoka’s text telling Homura she got home safe. She manages to find the evening perfectly pleasant.
She still has Madoka after all. So long as Homura can continue to defend her. So long as that tomorrow remains. Homura cannot help but find the future something that holds more hope than despair.