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Akk took a deep breath as he tried to calm down his racing heart, pressing his lips together as he glanced over to the chair that was in the corner of the living room, right where he was standing. Akk was standing in front of the mirror that was in the living room, his breathing a bit laboured as he tried not to overthink this.
Ayan wasn’t going to be home for a while, he was over at his mom’s place.
Aye said he’d be back a bit after having lunch with his mom.
Akk glanced at the clock on the wall and decided that he had enough time to finally try this out, his eyes on the small paper bag that was still sitting and waiting for him on the chair and he rubbed his hands together.
Akk glanced at himself in the mirror – his hair was all messy, sticking in all kinds of directions, so he decided to quickly fix it and he slowly rolled his sleeves up, wiping his clammy hands against his sweatpants and he leaned closer to the chair, looking inside of the paper bag, his cheeks getting redder yet again.
Inside of the bag was an eyeshadow palette and lip gloss.
Akk inhaled, then he exhaled.
Why did he buy those? It was stupid, but…
It’s been on his mind for a while now.
Soft shimmers, pretty colours.
It sparked the idea within Akk – he wondered if he would look good wearing the makeup. He wanted to try it, but he would have never admitted that out loud. Because, men weren’t supposed to be into it, right? Well, Akk knew it was a stupid thought, many men wore makeup, but not someone like him. He wouldn’t look good with it, right?
Akk was too tall, too lanky to look pretty.
But, he wanted to feel pretty.
But, today he had a bit too much free time on his hands with Ayan being at his mom’s place. Akk was at the mall, it was supposed to be a quick trip down there, just a few essentials, but he passed by a well-known makeup store and he decided to wander around the makeup aisles for a bit too long for his liking.
There was something that he found that he wanted to try.
It was a small palette that he slowly picked up with his shaky fingers and when he opened it up, his heart started beating much faster. There were soft gold colours, pretty shimmery pastels. Nothing too bold, it was very subtle, but he liked it so much and he couldn’t stop staring at it.
Akk probably looked really out of place, standing in the middle of the makeup store when a lady that worked there approached him. Akk panicked, he wanted to flee, but then she offered to help him. She asked if he was buying a present for his girlfriend and in the state of panic, Akk decided to go with that, yes.
Akk couldn’t really say he was considering buying the eyeshadow palette for himself.
The lady helped him pick a pretty matching lip gloss to go with the eyeshadow palette, telling him that his girlfriend was going to love the present. Embarrassed, with a lump at the back of his throat, Akk thanked her and quickly got out from there, holding the bag with makeup tightly between his fingers as he got into the car and drove back home.
And now, here he was.
In front of the mirror, hesitant.
Akk’s cheeks were pink as were his ears and he took a deep breath in and reached inside of the makeup bag and pulled out the eyeshadow palette, opening it slowly and he stared down at it.
So many pretty shimmers.
Akk’s eyes stopped on the silver one. It had a hint of blue in it.
It was Akk’s favourite.
Akk then stared at himself in the mirror and fumbled with the palette in his hands as he didn’t know what to do. There wasn’t much finesse in him, there wasn’t anything elegant about him, but he still wanted to try it out, so he held his breath as he slowly dipped his fingers into the pretty pigment.
Akk leaned closer to the mirror, his big eyes on his reflection and then he glanced down at the tip of his finger and he watched the shifting colours, smiling softly. It was really, really pretty. His big, round eyes were on the reflection again and he pressed his lips together, feeling a bit nervous.
It was okay.
It was just him.
He was safe, he could just try this out and quickly wipe it away.
Akk slowly closed his right eye and brought his finger towards the eyelid, slowly rubbing some of the pigment against it. He didn’t really know what he was doing. Perhaps it would be better if he bought a makeup brush as well, that way he could have more control, perhaps?
Akk didn’t know, his heart hammering against his ribcage as he slowly made his whole eyelid shimmery. His tongue was sticking out a little bit in concentration as he couldn’t really have a good look at what he was doing, but then he slowly reached back with his hand and stared at himself in the mirror again.
The colour was very subtle, barely there, but then he slowly tipped his head to the side and watched how the colours shifted on his eyelid and his lips parted a bit in sheer awe and wander.
“So pretty,” commented Akk and quickly decided to paint his other eyelid as well, going nice and slow as he wanted to make them even.
Akk slowly applied the eyeshadow to his other eye as well and then he placed the palette down onto the chair and straightened himself up again, stepping closer to the mirror, fixing his hair a little bit.
The colour wasn’t too much, it wasn’t too bright.
It was just right.
It made his eyes look brighter, bigger, perhaps? Akk couldn’t explain it, but he liked it. It added more softness to his look and he blinked a few times, observing himself for quite a long time, completely obsessed with the way his eyes shimmered now and he sighed happily.
It was really nice.
Akk liked it. Maybe he even liked it too much.
When he realised how much he actually liked it, he felt a sense of embarrassment washing over him because this was stupid. His face was burning hot and his hands were shaking. He knew there was nothing wrong with wearing makeup, but it was all inside of his head.
It was still…
There was still lip gloss.
Akk swallowed thickly, throat feeling dry, as he slowly glanced towards the bag and reached inside of it, now reaching for the pink lip gloss, which was also shimmery and bright.
It… It wasn’t going to look right, no?
Still, he wanted to try it. He could quickly wipe it all off if he didn’t like it.
That was why he ignored the tiny voice screaming at him how wrong this was and he slowly opened up the lip gloss, looking down at the applicator and he smelled it. It had a faint smell of cherry and something sweeter. Vanilla? Akk wasn’t quite sure, but it was perfect.
Akk applied a thin layer of lip gloss across his lips and smacked his lips together, the sticky feel of the lip gloss new to him. He pressed his lips together and smiled, enjoying the feel of it.
It smelled nice.
He looked at the mirror and watched his glossy lips now. They had a hint of shimmer on them and they looked softer, perhaps fuller? He smiled at his own reflection because he liked the way he looked. It was still him, he looked pretty much the same, but a bit shinier.
Akk liked it too much.
Akk blinked hard as he ignored the stinging sensation in his eyes because the longer he kept thinking about it, the more he was convinced he was in the wrong for liking this.
It was for the best if he just wiped it off and hid the makeup.
It really wasn’t…
Akk was about to walk into the bathroom to wash his face, but then he heard the front door unlocking and his jaw dropped because – Ayan was already back home?!
Ayan said that he would call before returning back home.
How was he there already?
Akk froze, looking like a deer caught in the headlights, as he didn’t know what to do. He wouldn’t be able to make it to the bathroom in time without Ayna noticing and he gritted his teeth, quickly turning his back to Ayan as he didn’t know what to do.
Yes, Akk was a nervous mess, slowly spiralling.
It was just makeup, it was just makeup.
Nothing wrong.
Nothing-
“Akk, I’m finally back!” announced Ayan, kicking his shoes off, placing his car-keys down as he was very eager to see Akk. “I brought back some food for you as well,” he said, laughing along as he slowly walked into the kitchen, placed the food down onto the counter and then he frowned.
Akk wasn’t following him.
Heck, Akk didn’t even say hi to him.
Ayan pouted.
What was this? As much as Ayan had fun hanging out with his mom, he also missed Akk, so he quickly waltzed back into the living room. Akk was attempting to make a run for the bathroom when Ayan was in the kitchen, but the other one was back way too quickly and he quickly turned his back to Ayan yet again.
Ayan folded his arms.
“What’s the matter? Aren’t you happy that your boyfriend is home?” asked Ayan, the tone of his voice a bit whiny and Akk shook his head.
“Of course I am,” said Akk, but he was still standing there, rooted in one place and he couldn’t bring himself to turn around. Akk couldn’t have Ayan seeing him like this, slowly stepping closer to the wall. “I just-”
Bathroom.
Now.
Ayan knitted his eyebrows together.
“Uh, okay?” asked Ayan and stepped closer to Akk, gently placing his hand onto Akk’s shoulder, but the other one tensed under his touch and he slowly withdrew his hand.
Something was wrong.
“I, uh, I need to use the bathroom,” said Akk, lying through his teeth and he hated it.
“Do you feel okay?” asked Ayan.
“Yeah, I just-”
“Do you feel unwell?” asked Ayan his voice gentle and warm, but it was also laced with worry.
Akk quickly shook his head, trying to cover his face somehow and he shuddered softly. Ayan stepped even closer to him and Akk quickly stepped closer to the bag that was still on the chair, trying to hide all of the evidence.
“I feel fine,” whispered Akk.
“You’re acting weird, though,” said Ayan. “Come on, look at me. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” whispered Akk.
“Baby, you know you can tell me anything, na?”
The word ‘’baby’’ was what did it for Akk, honestly. He was weak to the nickname. It was soft and coaxing, Ayan’s hands slowly making their way back to his shoulder. Ayan was glad to feel that Akk wasn’t stiffening under his touch for the second time and he pulled Akk a bit closer.
“I said, I’m fine, Aye,” said Akk, but Ayan didn’t buy it. He could tell that Akk was trying to run away, which made his heart drop to the pit of his stomach.
Ayan dropped his hand and slowly reached out, running his fingers over the back of Akk’s palm and he brushed their hands together. Akk gasped and Ayan slowly tugged him closer, but he didn’t push, he gave Akk the time and space that he needed before he turned around on his own.
Akk turned around on his own.
Ayan smiled, but the smile didn’t last for long as Akk kept looking down at his own feet.
“You’re shaking,” muttered Ayan and Akk shook his head quickly, trying to deny it.
Ayan touched his forehead.
“You don’t seem too warm to the touch-”
“I feel okay, Aye,” said Akk. “I promise.”
“Okay, then why won’t you look at me?” asked Ayan and Akk’s shoulders got all tense.
Ayan sighed along and waited, counting to ten, giving Akk the time and he didn’t rush anything, but his worry got the best of him. Perhaps he was too pushy, but he needed to make sure that Akk was okay. He reached out, his fingers gently going under Akk’s chin and he slowly lifted his face up.
Akk was forced to meet Ayan’s gaze and his eyes went all big, all round.
Akk didn’t really have it in him to keep running, but then Ayan nearly stopped breathing and he shuddered. Ayan’s lips parted and his eyes doubled in size when he saw Akk now looking at him, but those eyes quickly shifted to the side, almost as if he was afraid.
Ayan was staring.
And not saying anything.
Was he weirded out? If he was, Akk was going to cry, he just knew it.
Akk felt his eyes burning already and he tried to pull away, but Ayan kept holding his face between his hands because there was the thing – Ayan couldn’t stop staring.
He blinked once, he blinked twice.
It was true.
Akk was wearing makeup.
“Aye,” whispered Akk and his voice was breaking because of the silence. “I… It’s not how it looks, okay? I just… I don’t now, I was only trying to see… it’s clearly not for me, I know it’s weird, but please don’t-”
Ayan finally allowed himself to breathe and he almost moaned when he properly saw Akk.
“Holy shit,” sighed Ayan, his voice hoarse and Akk’s eyes were now on Ayan.
Ayan needed a while to recover because Akk looked gorgeous. Soft, so pretty.
Due to the shimmer of the eyeshadow, his doe eyes looked even more adorable. So full and big and his eyes dropped on Akk’s lips and he was nearly sent into a frenzy from only looking instead, sinking teeth into his lower lip.
What did the lip gloss taste like?
Akk’s cheeks reddened when he recognised the look on Ayan’s face.
Oh.
“No, Akk, let me look at you,” sighed Ayan.
So pretty.
Akk was so fucking pretty.
“I’m sorry,” whispered Akk under his breath. “It’s stupid, I know, I’ll go wipe it off and-”
“Akk,” said Ayan right away. His voice was a bit sharp, but it was because he wanted Akk to stop this. He could see fear in his eyes as well, Akk was starting to spiral, but Ayan was going to make sure to stop him before it got too far. “No, you’re not doing this.”
Akk pressed his lips together.
They looked so sparkly and soft.
Ayan needed to have a bite.
Ayan gently brushed his fingers against Akk’s cheek and he smiled when Akk’s eyes finally stopped on him, waiting for his next move and Ayan slowly shook his head, leaning a bit closer as he couldn’t get enough. He didn’t even know where to look, Akk was so gorgeous.
Oh, Ayan needed to make sure to let Akk know that this wasn’t wrong.
Looking pretty and wearing makeup wasn’t something to be ashamed of.
“You’re gorgeous, Akk,” said Ayan and Akk took a sharp breath in.
Akk almost smiled, feeling relief hitting him in sharp waves, so much that it was almost overwhelming and his eyes got glossy again.
“Really?” asked Akk, his voice small and Ayan nodded.
“Yes, you look so pretty,” sighed Ayan and he sounded so in love. It made Akk’s throat tighten, keeping his eyes on Ayan, who was still staring in awe. “Your eyes sparkle,” he said with a little chuckle and he leaned closer, Akk’s lower lip shaking because there was just something about the way Ayan said that.
The way he sounded – so in love ,so…
“It matches the lip gloss,” said Ayan, not able to tear his eyes away from Akk, who blinked and as he did, a tear slipped down his cheek, Ayan quickly catching it and wiping it away with his thumb because he didn’t want Akk to ruin his makeup.
Ayan kissed Akk’s forehead.
“Shh, baby, you’re so pretty. Don’t cry,” muttered Ayan, pressing his lips against Akk’s nose next.
Akk felt another tear slipping down his cheek and his breathing was slowly calming down.
“I’m sorry,” stammered Akk and angrily started wiping the tears, mindful of the eyeshadow – as much as he could, really. He wasn’t even sure why he was crying. “I was just afraid you wouldn’t like… That it was wrong to want to look like this, I don’t know, I-”
Ayan’s face changed.
It looked like Akk’s words physically hurt him.
He quickly shook his head, holding Akk’s face between his fingers.
“No,” said Ayan and shook his head. “Why would it be? It’s nothing wrong with wanting to wear makeup. You really look so beautiful, Akk.”
Akk’s lower lip trembled again and he was getting addicted to Ayan calling him pretty.
“I just wanted to look pretty,” muttered Akk and Ayan sighed, leaning closer to him and he pushed Akk closer.
“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look and feel pretty,” sighed Ayan. “I mean you don’t need makeup for it, you’re already gorgeous, but there’s also nothing wrong with wanting to wear makeup. You’re perfect either way.”
Akk lowered his gaze and sighed when he felt Ayan’s lips on his damp cheeks.
“So precious and all mine,” whispered Ayan and Akk let out a small gasp.
“Aye-”
“So pretty, I mean it,” said Ayan as he couldn’t stop saying it. He really couldn’t. “You’re sparkling,” said Ayan and Akk chuckled, looking at him shyly, Ayan’s eyes getting a bit darker as he lowered his hands, now resting on Akk’s slim waist, holding him in place, claiming him, pulling him closer.
Akk whimpered when he was pushed against Ayan’s body, legs getting a bit wobbly.
Ayan’s stare was too intense.
All that Ayan wanted and needed to do was kiss Akk, his eyes on his lips, which were shiny and inviting him in. He really, really needed to put his mouth on Akk, who smiled when he felt Ayan’s fingers slowly pushing some hair away from his forehead as he wanted to have a better look at his sparkly eyes.
“Akk,” sighed Ayan and pushed their foreheads together.
Ayan sounded completely out of breath and that did something to Akk that he couldn’t really describe in words.
“Mmm?” whispered Akk.
“Can I kiss you?” asked Ayan, chasing after Akk’s lips already. “I have to know how that lip gloss tastes like, baby.”
Akk huffed, but he nodded.
Akk needed Ayan to kiss him as well.
He swallowed hard.
“Yes.”
Ayan smiled as he slowly leaned in, holding Akk softly with his hand. One of them was resting on his cheek, while his other one was holding onto his waist, pulling him nice and close. Ayan wasn’t letting go and he made sure that Akk was looking at him.
Akk sighed when he felt those warm eyes on him. The way Ayan looked at him made him feel like he was really pretty and his whole body warmed up when Ayan pressed their lips together. The kiss was slow at first, their lips brushing together. Akk whimpered when he felt Ayan’s fingers digging into his waist and the sensation between their lips was something new to Ayan.
Soft, a bit sticky and slick.
The lip gloss made the kiss taste even sweeter. It made Akk’s lips slide smoothly against his lips and he smiled, sighing softly as he deepened the kiss a little bit, licking himself into Akk’s eager mouth. Akk tasted like cherry and vanilla, so freaking sweet that it made Ayan feel dizzy, groaning as soon as he made that discovery, pressing up against Akk even firmer.
Akk felt out of breath, breaking the kiss for a moment or two and Ayan’s lips dropped onto Akk’s slick lips, the lip gloss already messy, but Ayan happened to love it.
“Oh, Akk,” literally moaned Ayan as he couldn’t get enough of Akk looking like this.
Akk flushed and leaned in, kissing Ayan again.
The kiss was deeper, Akk’s hands coming up as he wrapped his arms around Ayan’s neck and pulled them even closer, feeling his lip gloss getting messier as they kissed deeper, but the sweetness remained on Ayan’s lips and it was too much. He was getting drunk on the kisses, Ayan chasing after the taste of Akk over and over again.
Ayan kissed Akk like a starving man.
Akk shuddered when he felt Ayan’s kisses getting needier, hotter, sloppier and he whined when he felt a little nip against his lower lip, Ayan sucking on his lower lip and Akk’s knees buckled against Ayan.
“You taste so good,” sighed Ayan.
“Aye, it’s-”
“Shh,” sighed Ayan and swallowed thickly. “You’re perfect, so pretty.”
Ayan kissed him again, he couldn’t help it.
Ayan pushed him back a bit, Akk’s back gently hitting the wall behind him. It wasn’t forceful, it was slow and gentle and Akk felt his hands gripping onto Ayan’s shirt, trying his best to keep up with Ayan’s kisses.
Ayan wanted this to last forever, he needed to taste Akk forever, the kisses nearly causing him to become completely out of breath. He felt like he had just ran the whole marathon and he had to force himself to break the kiss, panting as he pressed his forehead against Akk’s, who was also trying to catch his breath.
“Holy shit, Akk,” repeated Ayan and Akk giggled softly, chewing on his lower lip.
Ayan kissed him on the forehead and then once again against the lips.
“So… I take it that you like my new look,” teased Akk and Ayan rolled his eyes, shaking his head.
Akk’s lips were all swollen, red and still glossy.
The lip gloss was all messed up though, Ayan was wearing some of it on his lips as well.
“You wanna know something, Tiny?” asked Akk and Ayan hummed along. “You look good wearing my lip gloss as well,” whispered Akk and Ayan felt his face getting a bit warmer, Akk’s words catching him off guard and he just laughed, wrapping his arms around Akk, who leaned into the heat.
“What kind should we try next time?” asked Ayan, looking up at Akk, eyes sparkly and Akk’s cheeks heated up.
“There are many options,” muttered Akk. “At the store, if you want-”
“Oh, sing me up, Big Foot,” said Ayan and grinned, kissing Akk’s nose. “Also, don’t hide next time from me, na? Especially when you look this good,” sighed Ayan and Akk leaned against him, giving him an eager nod.
“Mmm, I won’t,” said Akk, finally comfortable enough.
All it took was Ayan telling him that it was okay.
So little, it took so little.
“Akk, can I kiss you again?” whined Ayan against his lips and Akk snorted, but pulled Ayan in for another kiss.