Chapter Text
Emily’s mind was whirring, ideas bouncing around like glitter in a shaken snow globe. This. Was. Amazing! She was so excited she was practically vibrating out of her own wings!!!
Sera had finally—AHHHH FINALLY—agreed to let her try with Charlie to help sinners! Or, well, to negotiate peace before they came up to wage war with Heaven, and she had only 24 hours to do so, BUT! It was a start!
And Emily had the perfect plan.
When her sister had fled the chamber, followed by Sir Pentious, Emily wasn’t about to hang around with an irate Lute. So she—super sneakily—flew after Sera too. Waited outside the cathedral room Sera and Pentious were in and okay, look, she had suuuuper good intentions, she didn’t mean to eavesdrop! It’s just that they were singing so loud and oh em gee was she proud of her sister’s growth— and then she flew back to her podium lightning fast because they stopped singing. It wouldn’t look good if she was caught. And then! Then, Sera had given her the green light for peace! And, well, with all that eavesdropping in mind, Emily had a brilliant idea!
Humans were afraid. They were acting out of fear, the will to live. They had no idea what came after death until they popped up at Peter’s pearly gates—oh no they totally had to get those replaced too and was Peter okay?! She hadn’t seen him since that scary weapon blasted through Heaven’s shield—or dropped down into the Pride Ring. Unless they were, like, religious, but still! Her point stands!
Humanity, though capable of great sin and evil, was also capable of great selflessness and good! Sinners, like winners, were once human. But unlike humans, sinners knew that death wasn’t the end for their souls! Beyond, like, angelic weaponry, but that wouldn’t be an issue ever again if she could pull this off. If Emily could somehow maybe remind these sinners that they were once human, that there was no reason to be afraid, to kill to live again, that they could even redeem themselves, then they wouldn’t have a reason invade anymore!
And, oh, oh! With Charlie’s help, they could direct sinners to the hotel, and TA DA!!! The day is saved!!!
This was so much better than gift baskets!
Giddy with hope, Emily squealed, clapping her hands together. A passing angel gave her a glance, but she ignored it. She had a war to stop! First step was to remind sinners of their humanity, the how being a little fuzzy, but Emily wasn’t too worried. She had a great plan for that too!
—
The tall, purple skyscraper that functioned as Archangel Offices was surprisingly empty. Or, maybe not too surprisingly, as there was a lot of panic and work to do what with the teensy, weensy war around the corner. This worked in Emily’s favor, though, as it was easy for her to flit in and through halls, up stairs, and arrive at her older brother Azrael’s floor without interruption.
The lone soul in sight was the receptionist, a squirrel-themed winner with heavy eyelashes, tapping away at her desk.
“Hi!” Emily chirped, “I really, really, super need to see Azrael, please! It’s important to stopping this invasion!”
The receptionist didn’t even look away from her work, monotonously responding, “Mr. Azrael isn’t taking meetings right now. Come back in a few months, sorry.”
Not one to be deterred, Emily pushed on. “No, you don’t understand! This is SUPER important! Haven’t you seen the news? Hell is looking to invade and we have, like, a day to negotiate peace, and I have this plan, but I need help or everything could be in danger. Please, I just need a quick word with him, all of creation depends on it!”
“Mmhm.”
Emily pouted. Looks like she needed to pull out the big guns. Her eyes sparkled and grew, her hands clasped together, and she flapped her wings in a spray of glitter. “Pretty please?”
The receptionist finally looked up at her. The winner’s brow raised, but she was otherwise unphased.
Darn! She was immune to puppy eyes! That usually worked, too … well. There was one other thing she could try.
Leaning over the desk, Emily dropped the sparkle, as serious as she could be. “Miss,” she looked at the name plate on the desk, “Miss Pepper, if there is anything you can do, please. As Joybringer of Heaven, I-“ Emily was cut off as the phone on the desk suddenly rang. She popped back, wings puffed in surprise. The receptionist looked just as shocked, but dutifully picked up the phone.
“Mr. Azrael! Uh huh. Yes. Yes, of course,” the winner shot a glance at Emily, who began to shake excitedly—not unlike a chihuahua—as she caught on to where this was going, “Yes, sir. I’ll send her down.”
The phone clicked back into place.
“Yes, yes, yes, yes!” Emily jumped up and down, hands to her cheeks, bright with joy.
The receptionist sighed. “Go on.”
Wasting no time, Emily shot down the hall until she reached the large golden doors at the end. Like many doors in Heaven, they were towering things, etched with gorgeous embellishments. Unlike many doors in Heaven, these were etched with figures: laughing, crying, living. At the bottom of each door, an etched garden grew, what could only be bones—human, animal, all—peeking out of the ‘dirt’.
“Right. I can do this.” Emily nodded. Taking a deep breath—this had to work, it had to—she pushed her way into the room.
Azrael wasn’t here. Obviously. The Archangel of Death hadn’t been seen in person since the Garden of Eden. What was here, in the center of the big, nearly empty room that functioned as Azrael’s office, was a large, black orb. Similar to the one in the main counsel chambers, only slightly smaller. Emily flitted closer, the doors swinging shut behind her with an echoing thud.
“Azrael, I need your help.”
The orb pulsed golden. A low thrum filled the air, as if someone had plucked the deepest cord on a harp. The smell of petrichor danced around her. He was here.
Straightening her spine, Emily continued. “I don’t- I don’t know how much you’ve heard, but there’s this sinner, uh.” She paused. “Box? No! No, Vox! And he’s about to invade Heaven! Him and a bunch of other sinners! Sera’s given me permission to negotiate peace, but I only have a day.”
A soft, whispering voice tickled her ear, seemingly coming from everywhere and nowhere at once. “I‘ve seen, little sister. What is your plan?”
Emily resisted the urge to fly in a happy loop. It sounded like he was down to help! Yes!!!!
She smiled, “We need to remind every one of their humanity. Angel’s too. For too long, we’ve been acting like sinners are innately evil, but they’re not! They can be redeemed, Sir Pentious and Charlie showed us that! And, and we need to show them that we’re sorry for the exterminations, the horrible sins we’ve committed against them, but we can’t until we show them they don’t need to fear death—no offense—anymore!”
Azrael chuckled, “None taken.” A golden stream of light formed in front of her face, resembling a hand. “But how is it you plan to do so? Why seek my counsel, over the others?”
“Because you can help! You’re the only Archangel who sees humanity, all of them, at their best, their worst, everything. You walk with them, ferry their soul’s, which means- you can bring them back!”
There was a long pause. Finally, Azrael hummed, “I must admit, this isn’t what I expected.”
“Isn’t it perfect?!” Emily cheered.
“But you must know I can’t restore their humanity, sister. Once a soul walks with me, they can no longer walk upon the Earth.”
“No, no, that’s not what I meant,” reassured Emily, finally succumbing to the urge to do a gleeful twirl, “if you can—it would be super awesome and nice and fantastic, I will owe you soooo many favors—if you could maybe summon these sinners souls back in Hell, so their Sinner selves can be reminded of who they are!”
The golden light in the orb spun. “ … Let me clarify: you wish me to summon these rebellious Sinner’s human counterparts into Hell, so they must confront and remember their past lives as humans? Emily, what you’re asking for is no easy task.”
Emily nodded. She knew she was asking a lot. Power like this hadn’t been used since the casting down of Lucifer. But— something had to be done!
“I know. It would only be for a bit, though, until everything calms down!” She said.
“I can only summon a copy of their souls from the moment before their death, when they enter my domain.”
“That’s okay!”
Azrael whispered along her ear, “And I can only do so for so many, or the order of things may become unbalanced.”
Emily was prepared for this. She pulled out a map she’d drawn earlier of Pentagram City (copied off one of Charlie’s!), the Entertainment district conveniently labeled in sparkly blue and pink gel pen. “It would only need to be the Sinners in this district!”
The thrumming of the room grew louder.
Puppy dog eyes out once more, Emily clasped her hands together, map falling to the floor, and puffed her wings up like a baby chick. “Please, brother, we need you.”
There was a sigh. “Oh. Alright.” Spookiness and professionalism abandoned as Azrael muttered, “Geez, those puppy eyes are brutal.”
Emily cheered, “YES! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!”
“Don’t thank me yet. I’ve never attempted such a feat of power, I don’t even know how or if it’ll work.”
“Trying and failing is better than not trying at all,” She chirped, “we can do this!”
The orb began to glow a brilliant gold, like the first rays of morning sun, illuminating the otherwise dark, empty room.
“Put your hands on my console.” Azrael’s voice now rang around her, a chorus of chimes in the wind, “I am strong, but together, we are stronger.”
With a beam, Emily placed both hands on the orb, her wings glowing, growing, sprouting eyes until the youngest Seraphim was in her true, holy form. The thrumming grew louder, louder, until it reached a crescendo, the whole Archangel tower shaking with it. Heavenly light shone out, as brilliant as the birth of a star, directing the attention of many frantic, worried winners. In her personal chamber, Sera turned to look out across Heaven towards the growing light.
“What-“
The entire realm was washed in light.
—
“HA! HAHAHAHA!”
Cackles rose from the foot of the stage where Vox and Charlie stood, Vox’s claws still laid on Charlie’s shoulders.
Both Media Overlord and Princess of Hell watched, bewildered, as Alastor, in a flash of neon light, broke free from the cables holding him to his chair, snapped the blue chains around his wrists, and stood up with a flourish.
“You absolute idiot!” Alastor howled, mouth a rictus grin. Vox blinked in shock, releasing the Princess, as Alastor laughed and summoned his staff.
Charlie, jaw still agape, took the opportunity to slide back away from the crazed television.
“What the fuck is going on?!” Yelled Vox, processors whirring. “Get back in your chair!”
Alastor chuckled, “You swore not to lay your hands on Charlie,” With a shock of static and a shadow, he appeared at the lip of the stage. “But you just couldn’t help yourself, could you?”
Vox literally had no idea how the fuck to respond right now. What the fuck was happening?!
Alastor continued, getting right up in his face. “You fucking creep.”Alastor leaned away and Vox raised his hand in protest, face contorting in offense, “You’re always doing that,” Alastor leaned in to violently tap Vox’s screen, causing it to glitch in rainbow static, “and I hate it!”
Vox was sure he was short circuiting. Everything was going according to plan. Everything! He had the Might of Lilith, with the King of Hell himself functioning as its battery, he had the Princess right where he wanted her, admitting her defeat, he had 100% approval ratings! He was the strongest fucking sinner in Hell! Finally, all of Hell was seeing him for what he truly was, a God! And up until a moment ago, he had even had his rival, Alastor, the man who fucking crushed his heart, ruined his life, destroyed him, under his fucking heel! What happened? Where were Val and Vel? Fuck!
Vox could feel his fans speed up as he struggled to process how he’d gone from winning everything he ever dreamed to this moment right now, Alastor, stupid grin still stuck to his stupid face, glaring daggers at him, calling him stupid, a creep. Him! He opened his mouth, ready to retaliate, protest Alastor’s words—wordplay, really?!—when suddenly, a bright light flashed down from Heaven.
Vox panicked. “Oh fuck!” He moved to cover himself with cables, but it was no use. Warmth swallowed them all. Every sinner in Pride Ring’s Entertainment District. Overlords, party attendees, and sinners watching from their apartments, the streets, work, alike, all blinded by the power of Heaven. Cries rang out, shouts of panic, but the light faded just as fast as it came. Leaving behind an eerie quiet.
Sure he was hallucinating, that the power had overwhelmed his processors, Vox glitched. Manually rebooted in a second. Pinched himself, but no. Fuck. He was not seeing things. More lost than he could ever remember being, he shot a glance at his rival, but beyond his smile he looked just as caught off guard.
From behind them, Charlie’s eyes blew wide. “ … Oh. My. God.”
Oh my god was right. As next to every sinner in the district now stood, miraculously, a human. A bunch of humans. A bunch of very confused and scared looking humans, but humans, nonetheless.
A man in his late forties, salt and pepper hair wild and heterochromatic eyes flooded with horror, was staring at Charlie slack-jawed. Next to him, Vox, who had—to Charlie’s dismay—remembered she existed and begun to head back towards her, stared at the man, screen glitched out. Also on the stage was now a younger man with almond skin and an eerily familiar grin, sizing up Alastor, who sized him up in turn, radio static buzzing in the air. Below the stage, hundreds, if not thousands, of humans and sinners were in similar states. Zeezi and a buff black woman in rave gear. Maestro and an older white gentlemen in concert attire. Prick and Hatchet, who were brawling next to the table when the light descended, and a rugged looking cowboy and the twinkiest punk who looked straight from a mosh pit.
Charlie, who, along with the hotel residents, her beautiful, awesome girlfriend, and the surprisingly helpful Baxter, had come to this party with a plan to find her dad, save Angel, and hopefully attract Emily’s attention so they could prove Pentious was super redeemed she wasn’t lying stop telling people that, had not seen this coming.
The sinners and their human counterparts finally broke out of their stupors. Then, the screaming started.
“Well!” sung Alastor to a cacophony of chaos, “how unexpected!”