Chapter Text
Genya had a crash on his new neighbour.
He couldn’t deny it, not anymore. At first, when his siblings started asking why he suddenly got redder and couldn’t form normal sentences when they met the boy in the corridor or something, he simply brushed it off. It’s just hot in here — it was the middle of the winter — or he hadn’t slept that well — he actually had one of his best nights in a long time — or literally anything but him having a crush on that guy.
But he couldn’t deny it anymore. Not after catching himself daydreaming about going on a date with him.
In any normal circumstances he’d probably try to ask him out alread — most of the time the boy answered his half-decent attempts at flirting. Key word — most.
One day when they met in the elevator, the guy dressed in a middle school uniform — should Genya be ashamed of having a crush on someone younger? He had just started his first year of high school so it probably wasn’t that much of a deal — and had a bag with a little white bunny chain — cute, Genya thought — and he hadn’t realised that he had actually said it out loud.
“You think it’s cute?” The boy asked, his big — how could they be so big and round — teal eyes looked up at him — Genya was at least a head taller so he had to strain his neck — his brows rised up high in wonder.
“Ye— yeah!” Genya managed to get out, feeling his cheeks warming. “It suits you.”
“Thank you!” The boy said in a bright voice, smiling genuinely. “I bought it on a whim. Nii-san said I shouldn’t buy useless things like that, but if you think it’s cute then it wasn’t pointless.”
“Well, it is a cute chain and it matches your eyes,” Genya pointed to the bunny, which had the same teal eyes as the boy, made out of little shiny sequins.
“That’s what I told Nii-san, but he was all grumpy and said—“ the younger boy scrunched his brows in mock anger and said in a more rough voice, “—when you’re gonna have no allowance left don’t come to me to lend you money. The ‘Mu’ in ‘Muichirou’ stands for the ‘Ma’ in ‘Making irresponsible financial decisions’. He’s so mean sometimes.” He said the last part in his normal voice, sighing.
“My brother also says stuff like that sometimes…” well, Sanemi did much worse stuff than just scolding, but his crush didn’t need to know that. Then, remembering what the boy said, Genya asked, “your name is Muichirou?”
The other nodded, “Tokitou Muichirou.”
“I’m Shinazugawa Genya,” he was just about to extend his hand in greating, but the elavator came to a stop and the boy walked out. They lived on different floors, so Genya just stood there and waved, his heart fluttering when Tokitou did the same.
Tokitou-san… Tokitou-san… Tokitou-san…
Could he call him Tokitou-kun? They talked just a few times, the longest conversation between them was the one that just happened, when Genya finally found out the boy’s name. It was probably inappropriate just yet…
Besides, with the way the boy’s big eyes looked at him, his long, black hair cascaded down his back, framing his face beatifilully and further ephasizing his pale complexion — he somehow wanted to call him Tokitou-chan. He did think he was a gir the first time they saw each other, until the boy asked him if he was okay (because he was just so red) and his voice let him away. But while ‘-kun’ was inappropriate, ‘-chan’ was even worse. No way he could call him that.
Yeah, so sometimes the guy — Tokitou-san — talked with him friendly, but other times…
A few days later they also met before the apartment block’s entrance. Genya was feeling especially brave thay day, and encouraged by their talk the other day in the eleveator, he said, “Hello, Tokitou-san.”
The boy looked at him with clear annoyance, his brows furrowed and eyes scrunched-up. ‘Oh no, did I say something wrong?’ Genya thought, analysing those two words over and over, wondering what might had set him off.
“Who even are you?” Tokitou asked, going into the building, ignoring Genya as he held the doors open for him.
“Sinazugawa! Shinazugawa Genya, remember?” He hurried after him, barely managing to get into the elevator with him. Geez, for someone with such short legs he sure was fast.
“Not at all,” and how much did those words hurt Genya. Their conversation might had been short, but he was hoping that Tokitou would at least remember his name — he certainly cherished his, but it was probably foolish to expect him to do the same.
They didn’t talk anymore during that elevator ride, even though Genya wanted to tell him that the new chain with the black bunny was cute too.
They didn’t wave for goodbye that day either.
‘Stupid! Stupid Genya!’
How could he mess it up so badly? He needed to say he was sorry! Yeah, he’ll do that when he meets Tokitou again.
But when they met again a few days later and Genya was just about to say how sorry he was for last time, Tokitou lighted up at his sight, “Shinazugawa-san! Good to see you! How have you been?”
“Fine! I was fine!” Feeling the warmth overwhelm him again, he held the doors open for Tokitou and the boy thanked him with a soft smile and a small nod of his head.
As he did so, his hair fell ever so slightly over his eyes. ‘Oh my! He’s so pretty and cute!’ Genya internally cried out as Tokitou adjusted his hair.
He was staring. He must had been staring, because when Tokitou looked his way again, he asked, “do I still have hair on my face?”
“No!” Genya frantically shook his head and waved his hands around, earning him a soft laugh from Tokitou.
And what a beautiful laugh it was…
“You’re coming or do you want to just stand there?” Tokitou’s voice took him out of his stupor. The boy was already waiting for him in the elevator, his feet stopping the doors from closing. A sudden wave of embarrassment rushed over him, ever further reddening his cheeks, as he reached up to Tokitou and walked into the elevator.
Geez, he was such an idiot.
They just rode up in silence, Genya too overwhelmed by his own embarrassment. He couldn’t say anything, not even mutter out a half-coherent answer.
“You really don’t look good today, Shinazugawa-san. Rest today, go to sleep if you can,” Tokitou said as the doors opened again, revealing the corridor on his floor. Then he walked, waving at him, a soft smile upon his lips.
Tokitou-san was so beautiful.
He decided then that he’ll ask Tokitou for a date or at the very least, some kind of meating the next day.
But the next day when he met him, the boy wore that same frown he had when he didn’t recognise him. Gone was the small smile, gentle teasing and worry, instead replaced by scrunched brows and cold indifference. Tokitou opened the door to the apartment building before he could open it for him, rushed past him, leaving him staring there, not even daring to say hello.
Tokitou rode the elevator alone that day.
And it was often like this. One time Tokitou-san would be nice, open and smiling at Genya with this heart-melting smile. The other he’d ignore him, barely remember who he was, or straight up tell him that his mohawk was stupid — like that one time.
“You look beautiful today, Tokitou-san,” Genya said to him back then. He saw Tokitou from a distance when he walked to the building and waited for him with the door open. Tokitou didn’t wear his standard uniform, instead wore a black suit with a white shirt and a teal tie. His hair was tied up in a high ponytail, though two of his front parts were free of the hairstyle, instead hanging idly by his face. It was obvious that he put a lot of effort to look especially nice that day. “I like your hair”
Under one of his arms he held a certificate, it was partially covered by his hand, but Genya still could see that it was for a shogi contest — a shared first place — he must have come to an impasse with his partner, but it was still an achievement, especially since he saw that the contest wasn’t some amateur school thing, but rather a professional contest for their prefecture.
He was just about to congratulate him, when the boy answered first.
“And I don’t like yours, that mohawk is stupid,” it was then that Genya realised that Tokitou must be having one of his bad days. “Though I believe that suits you quite well,” he smirked, laughing at some kind of inner joke.
They drove the elevator in silence. Again.
Tokitou’s bad days — that’s what Genya decided to call them — were exactly why he still didn’t ask him out, not even once. They talked on the good days, laughed and exchanged compliments, and on the bad Tokitou seemed to absolutely hate Genya.
Why was that? What was he doing wrong?
Maybe it didn’t exactly have to do with him. Maybe Tokitou was just having bad days because something was bothering him. Maybe he had trouble at school — no, from their conversations Genya knew that he was doing excellently — or maybe someone was bullying him — unlikely, he once saw Tokitou slap a pervert who tried to grab him by the shoulder (it was just around the corner of their block, Genya was running to help him, but Tokitou took care of it himself) — or maybe…
Who was he kidding, it must be some problem with him!
So yeah, until he figured that out he would not be asking Tokitou for a date.
Another day they met at the shopping mall. Genya was there with Tanjirou and his other friends — more like Tanjirou’s other friends, he didn’t really like them that much. They weren’t really buying anything, just walking around, looking at stuff and having fun.
They were looking at some new books Zenitsu wanted to see — all romance novels, though the blonde would never admit that — when they bumped into Tokitou.
It was the second time Genya ever saw him in clothes other than his uniform — they seemed to mostly bump into each other on their way from school —and he looked even better than he did last time.
Maybe it’s because last time it was his bad day. Whenever he had those Genya never really felt the same way as he did when Tokitou was in a good mood. Maybe it was because that frown he wore on his bad days didn’t look at all like the Tokitou he knew, or maybe because he acted so unfamiliar with Genya, but whatever it was, Genya didn’t fall over his knees for Tokitou on his bad days.
He knew he was probably a bad person for that. If he truly loved him then he should love him no matter what mood he was in, but he simply didn't feel the same to the bad-day-Tokitou as he did to the good-day-Tokitou.
Back to the meeting in the shopping mall — Tokitou looked amazing. It was weird that Genya thought so, though, because he just wore a loose, teal hoodie with a small, embroidered, white cloud over his heart, and baggy jeans. Nevertheless, everyone always looked best in what they felt comfortable in, and so Tokitou was simply the most beautiful person on Earth back then.
Scratch that, he was the most beautiful person on Earth everyday, but that day he simply exceeded even his own standards.
“Genya-kun!” Tokitou said in greeting — at some point he started calling Genya that and he never protested. He wanted to ask Tokitou if he could call him Muichirou-kun, or simply Tokitou-kun, but while he was sure that the good-day Tokitou would agree, he wasn’t so certain about the bad-day one. And if he couldn’t tell the difference… well, it wouldn’t be pretty.
“Tokitou-san, good to see you,” he blushed at the sight of Tokitou coming close to him, smiling brightly. “What are you doing here?”
“I was bored and Nii-san said that we should do something productive, so we went to buy new clothes, ‘cause we out-grew most of our old,” he answered and then sighed. “But I lost him. He told me to try on something while he picked the rest, but when I was done he wasn’t there. Not in the whole shop. So I left the clothes there and now I’m looking for him.”
Right, Tokitou had an elder brother.
Genya usually forgot about that part, probably because he never saw him. He met Tokitou on an almost daily basis, but never crossed paths with his brother. Or maybe he did and just didn’t know. Maybe they weren’t that similar and you couldn’t tell at first glance if they were related.
“Couldn’t you call him?” Tanjirou asked, coming to the two boys. “Yuichirou would pick up in no time.”
“Well, you see…” Tokitou looked to the side shipishly.
‘Cute’, Genya thought.
“You forgot your phone again?” Tanjirou sighed, but Tokitou quickly shook his head.
“Not this time!” He then scraped his neck in embarrassment. “I just forgot to charge it.”
Tanjirou’s sigh was especially loud this time.
“Wait! Hold on!” Genya finally realised what was going on. “You two know each other?”
A jolt of jelousy rushed over him. Tanjirou could befriend anyone and was the kindest person Genya knew — he could surely easily get along with Tokitou even on his bad days. And if that were the case—
“We’re cousins,” Tokitou pointed at himself and Tanjirou. “Well, second cousins. Our grandpa’s are brothers.”
That was good. Tanjirou wasn’t a potential rival, then.
“Tsugikunii-san has a brother? I never knew,” he blurted out, before he could think about it. Yoriichi-san was old, chances were that Tokitou’s grandpa was already dead. He started worrying that he had offended him somehow — maybe scraped open some hurtful memory — especially since both Tokitou and Tanjirou fell deathly silent.
And then they laughed.
“What?” Genya asked bewildered, looking between the two. He even looked at Inosuke and Zenitsu, but the two were still fully occupied by the books — Zenitsu had a stupid, wide grin on his face and Inosuke held his book upside down, not really focusing on anything (if Genya didn’t go to classes with him, he’d certainly start suspecting that he couldn’t read).
“Genya, you were at my grandpa’s a thousand times already and you never noticed?” Tanjirou wiped out a tear.
“Noticed what?” He looked between the two — they were still laughing. It took them a while to calm down, though they were still snickering from time to time.
“Our grandpas have been living together since before we were born,” Tokitou covered his mouth again when he looked at Genya, unable to keep his laugh in. “They both became widowers early and decided to move in together so they wouldn’t be alone.”
“What?” He let out a surprised gasp. “But I never saw anyone other than Tsugikuni-san. Well, Tsugikuni Yoriichi,” and at that Tanjirou and Tokitou laughed again.
It took them even more time to calm down this time.
“They’re twins,” Tanjirou’s finally stiffened out between the laughs. “Grandpa Yoriichi and uncle Michikatsu — they’re identical twins.”
Oh.
Oh.
Oh no.
“You mean that—“ Genya couldn’t even finish, was it possible that for the last almost ten years he had known Tanjirou and visited his grandpa’s place, he had never noticed that it wasn’t one person but two?
“You even talked with uncle on multiple occasions!” The more Tanjirou was saying, the more embarrassed Genya felt. “Remember that time you were moping about your brother tearing down your certificate? And when you said that you could never be as good as him? Uncle Michikatsu comforted you by saying that you should try to see things you were better at than your brother, everyone was their own individual and that if you didn’t stop comparing yourself to him it would only end badly.”
“It was him?!” He couldn’t believe it. He just couldn’t. How can you mess up two different people — well, maybe identical people, but still!
Oh, if only he could crawl into some hole and disappear.
Tanjirou and Tokitou were still laughing, as the later said, “that’s pretty dense of you, Genya. They look the same, but they don’t act the same. You never noticed the difference?”
“Apparently not,” he mumbled out. Whenever they visited Tanjirou’s grandpa — and uncle — the man just served them food and struck up small conversations, but nothing more. They mostly went there for some peace and quiet, usually for a studying session, so he — or rather, neither of the two men — never bothered them.
Though now that he thought about it…
Sometimes Tsugikuni-san had a warm, gentle, relaxed expression, similar to how Tanjirou usually looked, and other times his face was more emotionless. Could it be possible that what he attributed to Tsugikuni-san having a worse day was simply his twin’s usual facial expression?
He felt so stupid.
“I’ll have to tell them how sorry I am,” he said eventually, already planning on buying Tsugikuni-sans’ favourite sweets— wait, what if they didn’t like the same ones? He remembered Yoriiichi must liked mochi with red bean paste, because Tanjirou always bought it for him for Grandfather’s day, but Michikatsu probably didn’t like it as much as his brother, if at all. He’ll have to ask Tanjirou… or maybe better, he’ll ask Tokitou.
“I’m sure they’ll forgive you,” Tokitou assured, though he still laughed at Genya’s expense. “Twins get pretty used to being mistaken, it’s no big deal. It’s funny, actually.”
Well, he could clearly see that, judging by the fact that it still amused both Tanjirou and Tokitou greatly.
“I still feel awful. How could I do that?” He lamented. “At least now I know better. I’ll definitely won’t make the same mistake ever again.”
At that Tokitou burst into an even bigger fit of laughter. “I’m sure you won’t,” he managed to say in what was possibly the most exaggerated and sarcastic tone Genya had ever heard. Did Tokitou really have this little faith in him? Tanjirou never told him his grandfather had a twin, how could he even suspect something like this?
Tanjirou stopped laughing and looked at his cousin, “you can’t be serious,” he visibly couldn’t believe something, but after Tokitou nodded, Tanjirou let out an exasperated sight, before returning to laughing again.
“What do you mean?” Genya looked between the two, not understanding if they were still laughing at the same thing or possibly something new.
“Don’t worry, Genya, you’ll get it someday. Probably. Maybe.” They said in unison.
And then they laughed for a good five minutes.
After they calmed down, Tokitou talked with Genya — luckily not making fun of him anymore. He still couldn’t understand what was so funny there at the end of their fit — while Tanjirou went to grab Zenitsu and Inosuke.
It was amazing. Genya wanted to talk with him more — Tokitou was so smart, and pleasant to talk to. He was sarcastic and Genya sometimes couldn’t see if he was serious or just joking, but he was simply… the most lovable person in the world.
Unfortunately, their talk didn’t last forever like Genya hoped.
When the trio returned, Tokitou waved goodbye, “it was nice talking with you, Genya-kun, but I still need to find Nii-san.”
Genya looked dumbfounded as Tokitou walked away, his hair going up and down with every step. He was so pretty…
“Earth to Genya!” Zenitsu waved his hand in front of his face, but he just pushed it back, returning to staring absent-mindly after Tokitou.
He was feeling pretty proud of himself after the encounter — despite the fiasco with his grandfather, Genya managed to talk to Tokitou for longer than just five minutes — so he was in a pretty good mood for the rest of the day. Not even Sanemi yelling at him for not studying enough and just lazing around all day managed to upset him.
However, the next day…
“Did you manage to find your brother yesterday, Tokitou-san?”
Tokitou just sent him a murderous glare.
Oh no.
“I still can’t believe he managed to get lost and instead of actively looking he was just messing around,” he said, sidestepping around Genya.
So a bad day then. Best to just give up today…
No! He couldn’t think like that! If he wanted to prove that he really loved Tokitou then he should start to get along with him no matter the circumstances. That’s why, despite everything, he followed after him and tried to hold a conversation. “What was he doing?”
“Talking with idiots,” he said, sighing deeply. Then, barely audible, he muttered under his nose, “or rather one idiot in particular.”
“Oh? Who was that? Someone you don’t exactly like that much, apparently.”
Tokitou raised his head and stared deeply into Genya’s eyes, but unlike how he would usually react — by blushing and completely melting at the sight of Tokitou’s big eyes — he just felt like hiding somewhere. “You could say that.”
“Uhmmm…” unsure of what else to say, they stayed silent and rode the elevator.
When they reached Tokitou’s floor the boy did not go out immediately, instead blocked the door with his foot and turned towards Genya — the same murderous eyes staring into him. “Tell me, Shinazugawa, do you believe yourself to be a competent man?”
“A competent man?”
“Yes, what are you good at? Do you excel at anything? Or are you useless in every way possible?”
‘That was cold, Tokitou-san!’ He wanted to cry out, but deep inside, he knew that the other was right.
There was nothing extraordinary about him. No, scratch that — in most cases he was definitely below the average.
He wasn’t kind, like Tanjirou. Or strong, like his Aniki. He didn’t have a particular special interest, like Inosuke with his weird wild-life obsession. He didn’t even have the courage to ask someone out, like Zenitsu!
And he definitely wasn’t like Tokitou, who seemed to be excellent at practically everything he did.
He couldn’t do anything, really. He always tried, tried hard to be like his brother or tried to do something about his crush, but he always failed.
And now his crush finally noticed it.
“The ‘Mu’ in ‘Muichirou’ stands for ‘Infinity’” Tokitou said after Genya couldn’t get even a single word out of his mouth. “It means that no matter what life throws, somehow there’ll still be the power to overcome it. An infinite potential, forever to be explored.”
“It’s a very beautiful name, befitting of the person who has it,” he thought of all the amazing things Tokitou could do — he was the best shogi pro in their age league in the entire province (well, he shared that title with someone, but it didn’t matter), he was at the top of his class, while Genya had to repeat the same grade Tokitou was in now. He could stand his ground and speak for himself, but also worried about others.
He was amazing and Genya was not.
“Someone like you does not deserve someone with that name.”
And with that Tokitou walked out, the door of the elevator closing after him.
So much for Genya’s good mood.
They didn’t meet for a few days after that and for the first time ever, Genya was glad that he didn’t see Tokitou. He didn’t know what he would tell the younger boy. He sounded so sure of his words, basically telling Genya that nothing would ever bloom between them. But he was in a bad mood, so maybe it was just that? Maybe he didn’t actually think that way?
No, there was no hesitation in his voice. Tokitou really thought all those things. He just masked it well on a good day.
That’s what Genya feared the most. He could stand meeting the bad-day Tokitou now — he knew what to expect. But if he met the good-day one, the one that talked with him, laughed at his pathetic jokes and teased him, he feared that he would dare to hope again.
But they had to eventually meet again and it happened in a sweets shop.
Genya remembered that he had to apologize to both Tsugikuni-san’s so he decided to go to the shop after school and buy red bean mochi. He tried to ask Tanjirou about his uncle’s favourite sweets, but he didn’t know that. He said that Michikatsu-san didn't have a particular preference and that he didn’t even like sweets that much. He suggested asking Tokitou, though, since if someone knew then that would be him.
Well, no.
No, thank you.
But luck would have it that Tokitou was in the shop that day.
Genya was just about to leave, go to some other shop or return some other day, but when he heard Tokitou’s sweet voice he couldn’t just walk away.
“And then I told him that the ‘Yu’ in ‘Yuichirou’ stands for ‘Can’t keep his nose out of other’s business,” the boy was talking with the girl behind the counter, his mouth full with Sakura Mochi — a plate with them stood on the counter. “And he said that he was only doing it because he was worried about me and didn’t want me to get hurt.”
Wasn’t ‘Yuichirou’ Tokitou’s brother’s name? Genya thought he remembered Tanjirou referring to him that way back in the mall. So they had an argument, because Tokitou’s brother did something that he considered a breach of privacy, but he did it in good faith? Well, Sanemi did things like that too. Often. Very often.
“Well, he’s always been a bit over-protective, though still, he shouldn’t have done this,” the girl said. She had pink hair that ended with green tips — Genya thought that he recognised her from school, she was one of the third-years, especially popular with the boys, though she never dated anyone. “But at the same time I can see why he was worried. I would too. I remember when my little brother had a crash on a girl from kindergarden—”
“Mitsuri, please, don’t stray off topic.”
“Right, right, you were talking about Yui-chan.”
“Yeah, so Nii-san and I had a pretty bad argument. We made up after that and he even promised to apologise, but I told him not to do it. At least not fully,” he said sheepishly, looking down at his half-eaten mochi.
“Why not? Wouldn’t that clear everything up?” The girl asked.
“I guess you’re right but it’s just that…” the boy trailed off, biting his lips and talking in a hushed voice. What was worrying him? Genya strained his neck, trying to listen as best as he could through the half opened door, still trying his best not to be noticed. The door had yet to touch the bell by the door, so it was probably good to—
Ding!
Well, crap.
“Genya-kun!” Tokitou exclaimed, his eyes going big and his hands fidgeting nervously. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to buy an apology gift for Tsugikuni-sans!” He blurted out. Well, technically true, but it still felt like a lie.
“What would you apologise to them for?” The pink girl asked, “And you’re Genya, right? I heard so much about you! Mui-chan always says Genya this and Genya that and what not.”
“Mitsuri!” Tokitou snapped at her, but she looked unbothered by the outburst — just giggled. Genya smiled bitterly — as if that could be true — Tokitou always talking about him? Not a chance.
“I thought that there was only one Tsugikuni-san,” he answered the first question. “For ten years.”
Unsurprisingly, Mitsuri let out a laugh. She tried to stifle it somehow, covering her face, but couldn’t hold it for long and eventually burst out into a fit. “Oh my, I can’t believe that.” She held her stomach, her eyes watering with tears. “Genya-kun, that’s just too much.”
“I’m pretty embarrassed by it too.”
“But that’s a good thing!” She suddenly straightened, wiping away the stray tears. “It’s not that he doesn’t care, Mui-chan, it’s just that he's pretty dense.”
“What?” He looked at Tokitou, unsure of what she meant, but he didn't meet his gaze. Instead his eyes were locked on Mitsuri.
But what was more concerning was how he looked at her with that murderous stare.
‘Oh no,’ he thought. Was he just about to witness the switch between Tokitou’s good and bad mood?
But strangely enough, when he looked at Tokitou staring at Mitsuri like that, knowing full well that soon that gaze would be directed at him, he didn’t feel at all threatened. No, Tokitou looked endearing — still the same, lovable person he had a crush on. He just happened to be angry.
He could never bring himself to love the bad-day Tokitou.
But somehow, even as he let go of Mitsuri and turned to Genya, still with the same look in his eyes, Genya still could say with confidence that he loved him.
“Yeah, I’d say he’s pretty dense,” and it felt so different than being insulted by him when he was in a bad moon. Sure, it still hurt, but it was different.
He clearly still loved Tokitou.
But…?
It was at this time that Tokitou’s phone rang. He took it out of his bag, looked over the screen for just a second before picking it up. “Hello.”
He then scrunched his face in the cutest way possible. He nodded along to whatever the person was saying, asking a few questions, “can’t you do it? Please, Nii-san, just this once. I know you did it three times in a row already, but can’t you make it four? No?” Before muttering his goodbyes and hanging up. He sighed.
“Nii-san says I gotta go back home. Our parents come home for the weekend today and if I don't start cleaning soon I won’t finish before they’re back.” He picked his bag and was just about to go outside when Genya stopped him.
“Wait!”
“What is it?” Tokitou looked up, those beautiful, big eyes staring straight into Genya’s soul.
“What kind of sweets does your grandfather like?” He felt stupid for asking such a question but he wanted to talk with Tokitou just a little bit more and it was the first thing that came to his mind. He still needed to figure out why Tokitou’s murderous gaze didn't make him unlovable, out of a sudden, but it could wait a little. If only he could get Tokitou to talk with him just a little longer, then surely…
“He doesn’t really like sweets, not like uncle Yoriichi. He does like coffee jelly though, just like Nii-san,” Tokitou scrunched up his face in disgust, “I don’t know what they see in it, it’s awful.”
“So you don’t like coffee jelly?”
“I don’t like coffee in general, it’s bitter and makes my brain all over the place.”
“Oh, got it, I’ll remember it,” Tokitou dislikes coffee — don’t take him on a date to a café. He was so preoccupied with remembering this little tid bit that he hadn’t noticed Tokitou walking out and when he did, it was too late — the younger boy was already too far away.
Mitsuri sighed. “So I guess you want red bean mochi for Yoriichi-san?”
“Yeah,” he still looked at the place where he last saw Tokitou. He was so much different today than he was back then, and perhaps, maybe he could still love him—
Don’t think like that Genya! Tokitou made it pretty clear that he didn’t want to have anything with you!
“We don’t sell coffee jelly, but I can give you coffee flavoured cookies?” She proposed, packing the mochi. “Or you could go to a convenience store.”
“Yeah, I’ll go to the store…” he still looked outside after Tokitou.
“You miss Mui-chan so much?” Of course he did! Tokitou was amazing! But could Genya really hope— “You should ask him out! Mui-chan likes all kinds of sweets, you should buy them for him, he won’t be able to say no if you bribe him!”
She clearly seemed to know a lot about Tokitou and with the way they were conversing before…
“Kanrojii-san, right?” She nodded, “how do you know Tokitou-san?”
“Tsugikuni-san often brought Yui-chan and Mui-chan here, even before they moved to the city,” Mitsuri’s explanation actually made a lot of sense. It was obvious, Genya should had thought of it sooner. “Yui-chan usually bought the sweets Mui-chan liked and then gave them to him. It was so cute!”
That’s exactly what Genya did for his younger siblings — and Sanemi too. Guess that was a universal big brother thing. “Yuichirou, that’s Tokitou’s brother, right? He sounds nice.”
“He is! He always hides it, but he’s a sweetheart. Really tries to take care of Mui-chan. Sometimes a little too much..”
“He’s older, he probably can’t help it, right?” Well, Genya certainly could never not be protective of his younger siblings and he knew that deep down, Sanemi’s anger came from worry over them. Most likely. Probably.
“Not that much older. If you asked me, in their case it doesn’t really matter.”
So probably a year or so difference. That meant that Yuichirou-san was most likely in high school, maybe even his own. And yet, he never even met that guy. Maybe he just never connected the resemblance, but still. He was sure that he could tell when people were related.
“My sister Sumi is just a little over a year younger than me and still, I’d do anything to protect her,” he could easily understand Yuichirou-san's desire to take care of his brother.
“Well, yeah…” Mitsuri glanced to the side, visibly battling with herself over something, probably some detail concerning Tokitou-san and his older brother, but in the end she looked resigned and confined, “but their case is still a little different. They’re in the same grade, so you know, not much difference in their development. Yeah, not much difference…”
“So they’re like Hiroshi and Shuya? They’re my younger brothers, one was born in January, the other in November of the same year. So they’re in the same grade. But Hiroshi still sees himself as Shuya’s older sibling. He tries so hard to take care of him at school, even though they’re in the same class.”
“You really are dense, Genya-kun,” the girl shook her head, finally handing him the mochi. “You know what, just get to apologising to Tsugikuni-sans already. Maybe meeting both of them at the same time will help you.”
“Heh?” He took the sweets and looked at Kanroji expectantly, but she didn’t say anything else, just some goodbye, so he exited the shop still wondering what she meant.
Genya knew he was not the smartest, but to have constantly been told that he was dense was still a little too much, even for him. What was it with both Kanroji and Tokitou?
It was exhausting just thinking about it — best to focus on the apology now.
He bought some coffee jelly in the convenience store near Tsugikuni-san’s house and with his two gifts he walked to the door.
“Shinazugawa-kun?” He didn’t even get to knock when he saw an elderly man, with long, reddish hair walk to him. He looked at the boy, noticing what he had in his hands, “Tanjirou and Muichioru both said you might come. They didn’t say why though.”
“Yes, Tsugikuni-san. I’ve come here to apologise,” he answered, handing— wait, does he give mochi or coffee jelly to this Tsugikuni-san? Which one was it?
He came here to apologise for not differentiating the two men, but he was making the same mistake now — again!
“Whatever for?” The man knocked on the door instead of Genya and soon, they could hear some movements behind them, before they opened and inside Genya could see a man almost identical to the one beside him.
Well, maybe not identical. The one in the house had slightly darker hair and paler complexion, but looking at how the one beside Genya seemed to glow in the sun while the other was not making any move to exit the shade, he suspected that it was just a result of their lifestyle.
So that proved it — Tokitou and Tanjirou weren’t just messing with him. There were actually two Tsugikuni-sans.
“Good evening,” he greeted the new one and the man answered with a slight nod. His expression was much more indifferent than his brothers — that must be Michikatsu then, given what Genya remembered from when Tokitou and Tanjirou made him realise his mistake.
The two were similar — identical twins, after all — but seeing them side by side it was actually quite easy for Genya to distinguish them. Well, even despite the slightly different skin and hair colour, they had two different facial expressions, they held each other in two different ways — Yoriichi was relaxed, while Michikatsu was more composed — and generally, the feeling they both gave off was different. Honestly, Genya probably never noticed a difference only because he wasn’t expecting there to be two people. If he knew, he would spot it, no problem.
They invited Genya inside — of course, he accepted the offer — and Yoriichi-san sat with Genya by the table, opening his gifts and settling them near the boy, while Michikatsu-san started preparing tea. “Help yourself, you brought them.
“Oh, thank you,” he took one mochi and started absentmindedly munching. Soon enough, a cup of steaming tea was also placed in front of him and the other twin joined them at the table.
Well, better get to the apology then.
“I’m sorry I thought there was only one of you for the last ten years or so,” he said, not daring to look either of the brothers into their eyes. “Tokitou-san and Tanjirou-kun helped me realise my mistake.”
“That’s quite alright, you wouldn’t be the first one to mix us up,” Yoriichi-san completely brushed him off and focused more on eating mochi.
“I heard you have a tendency to mistook twins,” Michikatsu-san still ignored the sweets, even as his brother pushed the coffee jelly closer towards him. “My grandsons are quite exasperated over it.”
“Tokitou-san?”
Michikatsu-san nodded. “Muichirou and Yuichirou both. They think you’re dense.”
“I didn’t realise it affected them so much. Tokitou-san looked like he thought it was funny when he told me.” And Genya never even met the other so how was he supposed to know what he thought of it!
Michikatsu-san looked like he wanted to say something more, but his twin beat him to it — Yoriichi-san looked expectedly at Genya, “Shinazugawa-kun, I heard that you have a crush on Mui.”
“What?” He could feel his cheeks immediately warming up, so he tried to cover them. “I— well—“
“It’s alright, this is not some kind of fatherly talk,” Yoriichi tried to reassure.
“It could be,” Michikatsu added unhelpfully.
“Yeah— I—“ that certainly didn’t help boost his confidence, not at all. “I— well— yes, I do, it’s just that—“
Could he really complain about his crush’s mood swings in front of his grandfather and uncle? That was bound to be untactful and—
“Mui also likes you,” Genya could feel his heart almost stop at Yoriichi’s words. “Maybe not to the extent as you do, but he certainly has a soft spot for you.”
“Then why is that—“
“He looks as if he hates you sometimes?” Genya nodded. “That’s for you to figure out.”
Of course, no point in hoping for a quick answer. He was still at square one, trying to understand what he was doing wrong. If only Tsugikuni-sans told him what was wrong, but… No! He should try to understand Tokitou himself if he ever wanted to be with him.
But his thinking had gotten him nowhere so far. “I certainly try, but I can’t quite—“
“I think you’re looking at it from the wrong perspective,” Michikatsu-san cut him off. “Let me ask you a question: Do you always love Muichirou?”
Well that was—
Quite literaly the root of his problem.
He fell in love with Tokitou on his good days, but he just couldn’t, no matter how much he tried, love — or maybe even like — him on his bad days.
Was that what was the problem here? He was already suspecting it but to have it so blatantly stated…
Though, come to think of it, somehow, when Tokitou got angry in the sweets shop, Genya was still pinning over him.
“It’s a no then,” the older man interpreted Genya’s prolonged silence, but then added to Genya’s surprise, “that’s good, you’re not entirely hopeless then.”
“I’m sorry, what? It’s a good thing?” Both men nodded. “But that doesn’t make any sense. I should be willing to accept him whole, not just his good side, but—“
“Don’t call it a good or a bad side!” All of a sudden Michikatsu’s impassive face was twisted into a murderous scowl, just like the one his grandson often had. “They’re different, there’s no bad or good one!”
“Okay! Okay! I get it!” He tried to somehow calm him. Honestly, the man’s reaction even further cemented his suspicion — that the problem was that he couldn’t accept Tokitou fully.
“If that’s settled then…” Yoriichi steered the conversation on a different tour, asking Genya about how his family was doing — his mother’s new job, if the kids were just as much of a handful as always, how was Sanemi… the topic of Tokitou was almost completely forgotten, until it was time for Genya to go — he had already overstayed, best not to worry his mother too much if he came back late.
Exiting the house his thoughts once again came back to his crush — Tokitou certainly was a wonderful person, it’s just that his— well, different side — seemed to hate him. Could Genya even put up with it? He had already tried and each time he was verbally attacked and called stupid. Maybe if he couldn’t quite get along with Tokitou he should just let him go completely—
No! He was certain, he loved the boy and wanted to try and see if anything could come out of their relationship. He just needed to somehow manage the courage to ask him out despite his mood-swings. Yeah, it’d be difficult, but probably Genya could do it. At the very least learn to accept Tokitou’s other side.
And he kept coming back to that meeting in the sweets shop — Tokitou was angry then, but just as amazing and lovable as he was in a good mood.
For the next couple of days Genya only met him when he had a good day.
He thought back on what Yoriichi-san said — that Tokitou had a soft spot for him. Not love or even a slight crush just yet, but something that could bloom into it one day. It was nice, knowing this, and the way the boy acted seemed to support his uncle’s statement. And Kanroji had also said something about Tokitou often talking about him…
During those few days Genya almost asked him out. Almost. He knew that he had to get to it someday, but…
He still didn’t want to risk it.
But he still tried to uphold their relationship and talk with Tokitou as often as possible.
“How did the cleaning go? Your parents weren’t mad?” He asked, one of those days, remembering how the boy had exited the sweets shop to do that.
“Good, but I barely finished before they came back. Spend the entire afternoon on that” a sigh escaped his lips. “I still don’t understand why Yui-nii didn’t help me. It’d be done so much faster if he did it!”
Genya laughed softly. Yeah, he loved that side of Tokitou, the one that wanted to talk with him.
It wasn’t until a week or so later that he met Tokitou in a bad mood again — or rather, in a good mood, but for some reason, he didn’t feel like he would blush whenever the boy as much as looked his way.
Shizu — Genya’s mother — had a friend who had a café. Sometimes, when too many people called in sick for the day, she would ask Genya to help out — it was a good way to make some extra money, the job wasn’t especially hard and he liked his mother’s friend, so if he could help her out, then he’d gladly do that.
That’s why he was in the café that day and that’s how he encountered Tokitou — sitting alone at one of the tables, reading a book by himself.
The other waitress on shift asked him to take over her tables for a few minutes — she had an emergency and had to call someone urgently. It will just take fifteen minutes at most, she said, and Genya could never say no when someone practically begged him to help.
He took the prepared orders — one of which was a black coffe and three servings of coffee jelly — and went around the tables, setting them down. That’s when he saw Tokitou, sitting alone by the window.
He was relaxed, completely lost in his book, not paying attention to anything around him. His expression was similar to how he got when Genya told him about something particularly interesting, but not quite the same. Still, it was very apparent, Tokitou had a good day.
So why didn’t Genya want to just abandon his job and go sit with him?
The boy was wearing casual clothes, a little bit more formal than back at the mall — a teal diamond-patterned sweater over a black shirt and trousers — and that outfit fit him pretty well, he looked good in it.
But it didn’t make Genya blush uncontrollably.
“Tokitou-san?” He said, checking the order for the table once more, just to make sure. “Since when do you drink coffee? I thought you despised it.”
The boy looked at him from the book, his mood immediately dumpening. He scowled setting it down and then sighed, “it’s you. I was not expecting you here.”
“I work here sometimes.”
“Obviously.”
“Yeah,” he placed the coffee and three desserts on the table, watching as Tokitou’s eyes slightly brighted as he did so. The boy eagerly took the first glass and put a generous chunk of jelly into his mouth, his brows relaxing ever so slightly from his previous scowl. “Is it good?”
“This café has the best coffee jelly in the district,” he said once he swallowed, “of course it’s good.”
“I’m glad then,” but Tokitou said he thought it was awful. Well, not this jelly specifically, but in general. He also hated coffee, but somehow ordered the black one and was beginning to drink it without any issue — no apparent sight of discomfort, maybe except the one caused by Genya’s presence.
Puzzled, Genya was just about to walk away, when, “Shinazugawa, I got something to tell you,” Tokitou stopped him, looking uncomfortable as he did so.
“What is it?”
“I’m sorry for last time,” he said through gritted teeth, as if the words were hurting him. “I was right, of course, but I should not have said it the way I did and it was not my place to speak up, so I’m sorry.”
That was quite the ‘apology’ — Tokitou didn’t even look a little bit sorry. “Okay.”
“Good. I’m saying this just because he asked me to, so don’t think that I approve of you in any way. I still stand by what I said.”
“Who told you to apologise? Tanjirou?”
“No, it was Mu—“ he coughed,” —my brother.”
“Yuichirou-san?”
Tokitou’s eye twitched and he looked at Genya with distain, “you really are dense. I don’t get it. Why you?”
“I— well—“
“Doesn’t matter,” Tokitou turned away, though before he could return to his book, he stopped mid track and faced Genya again. “Actually, Shinazugawa, once your shift is over, come here. I wanna talk with you.”
And he looked at him with this murderous gaze that made Genya waver not in the good kind of way and he nodded rapidly, promising to come back once he was done.
For the rest of his shift he glanced in Tokitou’s direction, wondering if perhaps he would lose patience and leave, but he was persistent — stayed where he was, read the book and just ocasionally order a new coffee or dessert.
No such luck — he would not be spared of whatever that conversation would be.
That shift ended unusually fast.
Soon, he was back there, sitting across from Tokitou who had was looking at him over the cup by his lips.
“You wanted to talk?” Genya tried not to sound too scared, but wasn’t particularly successful, because as soon as Tokitou lowered the cup and send him another murderous glare, he loudly gulped.
“Yes, I did. You recently went to apologise to my uncle and grandfather and Ojii-san told you something, did he not? Helped you realise something.”
“Yes, he— well—,” how do you say to your crush that his grandfather told you to accept him on his bad days too, while said crush had a bad day — because it definitely was a bad day, given how Tokitou despised him, no matter how peaceful he looked before whole reading —? Though from the looks of it, Tokitou already knew what Michikatsu-san said.
“Which just prooves how dense you are, but—“ Tokitou pointed at him with his finger,” —you’re not shallow, I’ll give you that. That’s why, as much as it pains me, I’m willing to give you a chance.”
“Really?” Genya couldn’t help the maniac grin that started to spread all over his face. Did Tokitou just—
“Don’t get too excited, I’m gonna give you a test.”
“Sure! I’ll do whatever!”
“Good,” the boy nodded satisfactionally, though still scowled at Genya. “The deal is this: you have a week. And in that week you have to personally ask Yuichirou for approval of this whole— thing. You don’t even have to get it, just ask.”
Did his brother’s opinion really matter that much? Well, from what Kanroji-san told him, they were close.
Wait a minute…
Just ask? Not get it? That’s… weird.
“I don’t need the approval, just ask…?” He stared dumbfounded at Tokitou, trying to read his expression, but other than the clear disdain for Genya, there was nothing else.
“The process is important, not the outcome,” the boy clarified, but it still didn’t quite answer everything. “If you don’t manage to do that in a week, I’ll lose all hope of you possessing any kind of intelligence. Also, it’s good to give this whole mess a time limit. I’m certainly getting a little tired of it.”
“So all I gotta do is ask Yuichirou-san for approval and then what, will you—“
“What will happen then, I do not know, but I know that nothing will ever happen if you don’t ask,” Tokitou cut him off. “That’s it. You have a week, starting now, so go on.”
Alright, he could do it. Somehow meet Tokitou’s almost always absent brother and ask him about him — what? Wanting to date Tokitou? He was just now realising how bizarre all that was. Was Tokitou aware of his crush all this time? Tsuginkuni-sans were, as well as Tanjirou, so maybe… But what did this whole approval have to do with it?
Doesn’t matter. Right now he’s got to focus on finding Yuichirou, or else all his hopes will crumble.
“Tokitou-san,” he began. Said boy faltered a little while bringing the cup back to his mouth, and gestured at him to continue talking. “Where and when could I meet Yuichirou-san?”
Tokitou laughed and shook his head, resigned, “you really are so fucking dense. If you succeed I’ll honestly be surprised.”