Chapter Text
Their hands remain intertwined, and See feels Ryusei’s rough palm scrape against his own. The texture reminds the omega of the hands of his alpha’s— big and calloused as they wrap around Sae’s smaller ones easily.
Ryusei’s hand is warm, too, and Sae finds himself squeezing it briefly once more. He doesn’t know why he does it, what makes him follow the other omega so obediently. Sae should be tired of walking behind him like a lost wolf pup, and he should hate how Ryusei can just lead him anywhere he wants to.
(Maybe it’s the helplessness. He’s alone in a tribe full of strangers, an outsider once more, and he’s so far away from his alpha, from their shared nest, and the comforting privacy of his own four walls. The place where no one mocks him, and the place where it’s just him and the silence.)
At least Ryusei still hasn’t said anything yet, which gives Sae a few moments to watch and observe this unfamiliar village. The houses are a tad smaller than the ones of his tribe, and the village seems to be smaller than his own in general, but that doesn’t have to mean anything.
What makes this tribe unusual isn’t the scale of the structures, or the fact that it lies directly next to a river. It’s the people. Sae has witnessed the sheer brutality of the alphas, how they raided his home village, how they burnt it down to the ground afterwards. They’re violent, more ruthless, and intimidating. They feel more unforgiving, too— who knows what these alphas would do to Sae if Ryusei wasn’t by his side. One wrong move, and Sae could dishonor not only his tribe, but his entire family as well.
The omegas aren’t any better— they don’t behave naturally. They’re too carefree, too careless; completely out of the line. They don’t care about gods-given order, don’t care about how they’re perceived. They (probably?) may not be as violent as the alphas of this tribe, but Sae won’t make the same mistake twice and unerestime them.
Sae looks around and sees a group of children playing near the edge of the forest. They’re playing with sticks and stones, laughing and screaming as they do. A small smile creeps on the omega’s face. While he might be close to being an outsider in his own village, he still hopes his child will be able to play and have fun with the other children like this, too.
Especially with Rin and Meguru’s future children. Sae bites his lip; what if they won’t get along? A tight pressure makes his chest sting. No, no. Now is not the time to spiral again. His child will grow up happily and loved by all, Sae’s sure of it.
He needs to stay positive. If he manifests these horrible scenarios, he will never be able to forgive himself for it.
Letting his eyes wander once more, Sae catches sight of two people drawing bows. One of them has ash-gray hair and the other black hair that almost shimmers blue in the weak fall sunlight. They seem to have a good time, and Sae is just about to turn his head away, when he suddenly sees the two share a brief kiss. Then, they giggle and proceed to go back to their work with giddy smiles and smirks.
Sae swallows dryly. One of them must be an omega, he figures. Sae should’ve known that it’s foolish to conclude the secondary gender of the people of this tribe based on what they’re doing. If Ryusei could lead a hunting party, accompanied by another omega, then, of course, an omega could also draw bows easily.
“This is the wash house,” Ryusei suddenly tells him, gaining Sae’s attention immediately. His head snaps up. They halt in front of a building that’s slightly bigger than the rest of them. “During winter, this is where we clean our clothes. And when the temperatures rise again, we can use the river!” the other omega explains, and Sae hums subconsciously.
“What about taking a bath?” Sae then asks. He cringes when he thinks about the poor state of his dress and the way he smells like a mixture of sweat and dirt. Taking a bath means wasting water, so he didn’t take one often at home in his tribe, however, he really needs to wash up now. Even if it were only with a wet cloth. Besides, at home, he didn’t walk around in the forest for days, sweating and smelling like a bear. “Don’t tell me you people take baths in the river during winter, too…”
Ryusei snickers next to him, but Sae isn’t looking at him. Instead, he’s locking eyes with someone who walks past him with furrowed eyebrows and a wrinkled nose. The omega wants to glare back, narrow his eyes in return, but he’s too stunned to do any of that.
Ironically, he isn’t surprised that he’s receiving the same treatment he did in his own tribe. He’s a stranger, an intruder, a hostage. He’s not an equal, not a fellow tribe member either. He’s just Sae from a foreign home; the omega with the smelling dress and uncombed hair.
“My, you really think we have such thick skin?” Ryusei’s voice sounds which finally pulls him back to reality. “Of course not,” the other omega laughs. “Sendou!” he calls out immediately after, greeting the guy who just gave Sae the nastiest look mere seconds ago. “What are you doing, just walking past me without a proper hello?”
The other scoffs. “I hoped you’d ignore me,” Sendou replies with a bite to his voice. “Thanks to you, I had Rensuke nagging at me for the past few days constantly.” The other shakes his head in disbelief when Ryusei merely shrugs at the accusation. Sae watches him tighten the grip on the pot in his hands, a vein almost popping on his forehead.
Then, his and Sae’s eyes meet once more. “How about you scrub that omega plaything of yours clean?” the guy then asks. “He’s reeking.”
Blood instantly rushes to Sae’s face, embarrassment pooling in his stomach. He’s aware it’s true, knows he’s not looking like a proper wife but more like a wild animal right now. However, hearing someone say it directly to his face makes him feel ashamed. He wants to disappear.
A whine dies in his throat.
“Hey, hold your tongue, asshole,” Ryusei barks back. Sae doesn’t know if he says it to defend Sae who’s shrank back a tad, or because the omega is getting annoyed by the other’s tone.
Sendou scoffs, and Ryusei clicks his tongue. Sae watches them stare at each other intensely for a moment, both pushing out their chests proudly, standing their ground, before, finally, Sendou turns around with yet another glare. Sae hears him mumble something under his breath, but he doesn’t dare say another word out loud.
Ryusei sighs. “That guy, seriously…”
“Is he always like this?” Sae asks. “Or is he just annoyed that you’re walking around with a stranger through the entire village?”
“Oh, don’t flatter yourself,” the other omega dismisses him. “He’s probably just pissed because Aiku didn’t fuck him hard enough in the past few days,” Ryusei laughs, and Sae blinks back, dumbfounded. He shouldn’t even be surprised that Ryusei says such crass things so openly. He has absolutely no shame. Maybe Sae could understand Sendou a little if he had lived with Ryusei his entire life; no secret ever safe, no story ever staying behind closed doors. Perhaps he could even sympathize with him.
Sae bites his lips. But how would this make him any different than the omegas in his tribes? How would he be better than them? If he glared and snarked back like this behind alphas’ backs, if he spread rumors, or called him names when no one was looking?
He feels sick immediately.
“That alpha—”
”Alpha?” Ryusei stops him with a suppressed smile. “Sae-chan, you’re so gullible!”
Sae flushes in a deep red once more. He doesn’t answer and just turns his head away from Ryusei. He can’t help but keep guessing the secondary genders of people based on their behavior, even though he knows he’s wrong majority of the time. Everything is so confusing to him, and he can’t make sense of anything.
He’s gotten somewhat used to it with Ryusei, now that he knows he’s an omega, too. But with everyone else, Sae just won’t understand, no matter how many times he tries to hold his traditional views back.
“The more you keep judging, the more I believe you’re going to have a heart attack once you meet the alphas who stay home and take care of the children,” Ryusei giggles, his laughter booming through the air once he sees Sae’s flabbergasted face. “Oh, you truly make it too easy for me!”
The omega keeps laughing as he takes Sae, who is still rooted in place, too shocked to function properly, by the hand once more.
Alphas who stay home and take care of the children? Omegas who go out hunting? Sae can’t believe this is his reality. A mirror world to his own— or maybe a different timeline, after all? Maybe he was hit on the head too hard and now he’s hallucinating everything.
“Come on, gorgeous. Didn’t mean to break you,” Ryusei tells him, kisses him on the cheek again briefly, but this time, Sae’s too dazed to react. All he feels is how fast his thoughts are racing inside his head, and how the warmth of Ryusei’s hands is close to burning his skin. “Let’s get you a fresh set of new clothes.”
The other omega leads him inside the wash house. A mix of pheromones and soap hits Sae, and he blinks rapidly to unblur his vision. Out of his trance finally, he decides to forget the info Ryusei just told him. What he doesn’t know can’t hurt or confuse him. If he decided that alphas who stay home instead of the omegas don’t actually exist, then his world would stop spinning. His world wouldn’t be thrown upside down, and deep down, the small voice, which wonders if maybe Sae wouldn’t have been pressured to marry and bear kids as soon as possible in another life, would stop asking questions.
Wet clothes are hanging from drying racks, and Sae swallows down the lump in his throat once he realizes that everyone stopped what they were doing to watch him with surprised faces instead.
“Guys!” Ryusei chirps, happily. “Any of you have clean clothes for me I could borrow for…months?”
“Wet or dry?” someone asks, and everyone giggles at that. Sae’s face hardens. Would it matter? Sae asks himself. It wouldn’t be any different than the time someone poured dirty laundry water over me.
“Funny,” Ryusei snarks back but with a smile on his face that he’s not even trying to hide. Sae feels something clench inside his chest. “Reo,” the other omega goes on and turns to a purple-haired guy standing not too far away from them by a washing tub. Sae’s first thought was to forcefully suppress the secondary gender guess, but when Reo turns his entire body around, Sae can see the visible bump of his stomach.
An omega, Sae thinks, almost relieved. Not all hope is lost yet. Some tings are right here, after all.
Ryusei struts over to him and throws an arm around his shoulder. “I just finished a moment ago,” Sae hears Reo grumble, but the omega handed Ryusei some clothes, which were not only dry but also neatly folded, nonetheless. “And now you make me clean…Oh, dear,” Reo gasps once he sees Sae’s poor state.
The omega wastes no time walking over to him and inspecting his face with such a careful touch, Sae almost asks if he was sent by the heavens. “Ryusei, what did you do to him?” Reo asks with great annoyance. He grabs Sae’s dirty dress and scrapes off a patch of dried mud. “And you made him walk through the entire village like this?!”
“Hey, now…” Ryusei mumbles, almost embarrassed. “He didn’t exactly make it easy for me, alright?”
Reo shakes his head, then sighs before turning his attention back to Sae. “Don’t worry,” the other omega smiles at him, “I will clean that dress of yours spotless.” Reo watches him a moment longer. “Such a nice fabric,” he says, in awe. “It would be a waste to throw it away.”
“My alpha got it for me as a courting gift…” Sae begins but then trails off. He doesn’t know why he’s telling a stranger this, however, something just perked up inside him when Reo started praising his dress. It’s his favorite, the one he wears most of the time. Normally, it carries his mate’s scent, too, but it has long faded after being kept from him for so long.
“That’s lovely. I will try my best then,” Reo smiles, and it sounds like a promise to Sae. For the first time since he was kidnapped, he found himself comfortable returning a smile.
“Okay, that’s enough talking,” Ryusei’s voice sounds impatiently from next to him, and Sae jumps in place slightly. He hasn’t even heard the omega approaching. “Off with it!” Ryusei declares, and then, suddenly, Sae’s dress is flipped up, completely exposing his bottom area and chest to everyone else in the room.
He shrieks, backs away from Ryusei immediately, and tries to fix the dress as fast as possible. A heavily embarrassed blush colors Sae’s entire face and chest red, and he crosses his arms in front of his chest protectively.
“What—” he gasps, failing to get fully comprehensible words out instead of pathetic stutters and whimpers, “What do you think you’re doing?” Shame and fear pool in his gut, and he immediately steps back when Ryusei takes a step towards him. “No! Leave me alone!”
“Oh, come on. This again?” Ryusei asks with a click of his tongue. “What’s the problem this time? Do you not like how your body looks? Is this why you’re trembling like a scared rabbit?”
“Ryusei, don’t you think—”
“I don’t get it! Your hips are nice, and your tits are cute, too, so what—?”
Sae won’t let Ryusei finish that sentence. Instead, he steps forward and slaps the other omega across the face with his flat hand instead. The ugly noise echoes through the wash house, and everything seems frozen for a moment.
Sae opens his mouth to say something, to spit out an insult, but quickly snaps it shut once more. He has nothing to say to Ryusei. His heart is beating loudly in his chest, and Sae can barely hear himself think anymore. He chokes on a breath. The stares, the silence— everything overwhelms him. The new village, the unknown surroundings, the strangers— it all makes his head hurt. He’s scared and alone, but most importantly, he’s been humiliated.
In front of people he doesn’t even know, in front of faces which don’t know whether to laugh or remain serious. The world starts spinning, turning, his eyes start darting around the room until his vision begins to get blurry, and Sae doesn’t know what’s happening until he feels his legs running.
He storms out of the wash house without ever looking where he’s going. On his way through the village, Sae bumps into a few people, who all glare and complain, and knocks over a few pots while doing so, too.
The omega registers screaming behind him, hears the voices echo through the air, but nothing reaches his ears. He’s busy running— running to wherever his tired and aching legs are taking him. Sae pushes away branches and bushes on instinct, ignores when he almost trips over an exposed root.
When he slows down, with his lungs stinging and his eyes burning, he fails to catch his breath. He doesn’t know where he is, doesn’t bother to find out either.
Sae leans against a tree trunk and closes his eyes. He bites his bottom lip and swallows, trying not to let the forming tears spill down his face. He’s promised himself not to cry ever again. He’s promised himself to never show weakness, to never let his faulty sides win anymore.
It’s so hard, Sae thinks to himself and sucks in a violent breath. It’s so hard when you’re never allowed to experience nice things.
He liked the genuine conversation he had with Reo, enjoyed the moment where he could tell someone else about Bunny’s gift without being glared at. Reo is the first omega, apart from Meguru, who’s ever complimented it sincerely. There was no jealousy seeping through his words, no envy tainting his actions. Just honesty.
And then, of course, it had to be ruined by—
“Sae!” Ryusei’s voice calls out to him, and the omega is just about to pull himself together, to inhale deeply to prepare for yet another run, but he knows it’s a helpless call when his sore thighs force him to stay rooted in place. “My gods, you sure can be fast!” Ryusei tells him, and then Sae sees him step out from behind a tree.
The two omegas are mere meters apart, but for Sae, it could’ve as well been miles.
“And now, you look even worse than before,” Ryusei comments, and suddenly, Sae feels something inside him snap. All this anger, all this frustration, and all this humiliation causing him to lose it for real at last.
Without hesitation, he leans down, picks up a small rock, and throws it in Ryusei’s direction. When the stone doesn’t hit the other omega, Sae does it again. And again.
“Hey! Hey!” Ryusei shouts, trying to avoid everything that Sae throws at him. “What the hell? Stop it!” the other yelps, barely dodging another flying rock coming his way. “What is your problem all of a sudden—?”
“You’re just like those stupid whores in my tribe!” Sae accuses him, picking up another tiny stone. He feels himself lose it bit by bit, his inner omega completely silent at his outburst, too. “You’re just as awful as them!” Sae continues to yell. “Just as eager to see me suffer!”
“What— What are you even talking about?!” Ryusei asks, hiding behind a tree next although it won’t stop Sae from throwing rocks at him. “Do you even hear what you’re saying?!”
“No!” Sae retorts, angry, hot tears streaming down his face. “I’m that stupid omega who was just lucky to be picked as a bride!” When the omega doesn’t find any more stones, he starts throwing branches and pine cones; they’re not as effective, they don’t fly as far, but for this madness, they will suffice. “I’m the one who only deserves hate and jealousy!”
“That’s not true!” Ryusei counters, and something in his tone has changed, though Sae is too angry to realize. “You deserve kindness just like everybody else!”
“Stop lying, stop talking!” Sae screams and chokes on a sob. “You’re no different! You love to humiliate me! You love to laugh at me! You love it when I look pathetic, you love it when you can ruin me!”
“I humiliated you? What about the fact that you just ran off like a man possessed?! You made me look stupid!” Ryusei shoots back. Sae can’t believe it. The audacity of this guy! “So, would you stop— stop throwing things at me! You’re just—”
“Hysterical? Exaggerating? Being unreasonable?!” Sae laughs humorlessly and finally stops throwing everything within his reach when his arm starts to tire. “You’re so shameless. You’re a disgrace. You’re just as schadenfreudig as everybody else!”
When Sae blinks his tears away, Ryusei suddenly stands in front of him. He backs away immediately.
“Snake,” the omega hisses out, kicks after Ryusei when the other tries to reach out to him. “Don’t fucking touch me!”
“I’m just trying to help you!” the other omega begins, and yet again, Sae has to laugh without any emotions behind it. He can’t believe what he’s hearing. Ryusei is trying to help? After being the sole reason why Sae is feeling the way he currently does? After being the only reason why the worst is brought out of him every time? What a joke.
All omegas do is lie, all they do is fake everything. They act friendly only to find out your vulnerabilities, they act caring to make it hurt even more when they decide not to help you when you need it the most. They make it seem like you’re friends, only to spread false rumors behind your back or to snatch your alpha away the first chance they get.
“Sae,” Ryusei says, and Sae freezes. “That’s enough.”
“What do you know?!” The omega slaps the other’s hand away violently. “You expect me to go back there? After you embarrassed me this much?” Ryusei blinks at him, and Sae scoffs. “Of course, you didn’t even realize, did you?” Sae spits, and shoves Ryusei away from him. “You never realize anything. You never think about other people, you just do whatever you want, not even caring in the slightest how others may feel about it!”
Sae’s chest is heaving. “No wonder the people in your tribe can’t stand you!”
“Fine then!” Ryusei growls out, baring his small canines at Sae who returns the gesture. “Stay out here and die, for all I care! If you’re so eager to kill yourself and your unborn child, I won’t stop you!”
With a racing heart and sweaty palms, Sae watches Ryusei turn on his heels and walk away without another word. He watches the other omega disappear behind trees and bushes, and when he’s all alone again, Sae shudders out a shaky breath.
Only now, he realizes how much his knees are wobbling and how badly his body is trembling.
Don’t think about it, Sae tells himself as he sinks to the ground. His dress can’t get worse than it already looked. Don’t think about it, don’t think about it.
The omega pulls his knees firmly to his chest, hugging them tightly. He feels so incredibly small in this endless forest of tall trees and dark, unknown corners. He wants to go home, bury his face in his nest, and snuggle up against the warm body of his alpha. He misses Bunny; misses his affirming touches and smiles.
Despite everything, he wishes he could go back to his tribe. Right at this moment, alone and dirty, sitting on the forest ground pathetically, he doesn’t care that he was being treated like an outsider by most of the other omegas. He doesn’t care that the alphas were polite, but always acted stiffly and carefully not to overstep. He doesn’t care that Bunny didn’t— doesn’t— prioritize him in public, that he’s just another omega among many when it's not just them in the privacy of their home.
He doesn’t care that he felt alone there, too. That he rarely had someone to talk to or spend the days with. Sae would wander around the village, help out wherever he could, and receive weird and judging looks while doing so. He doesn’t care that after all those years, he could never be enough, could never be as perfect as his mother wanted him to be.
The omega doesn’t care about any of those things because he’s used to them. For Sae, it’s normal to walk around in the village and feel the burning gazes of his tribe members on him. For him, it’s normal to spend his days in silence— to not talk much because there simply is no one he could talk to, in the first place.
In a community of over thirty people, he is isolated. His brother is too busy hunting and taking care of his own mate, and Meguru is too much of a social butterfly to only stick by his side, and Bunny…
A small sob echoes in the forest, and Sae sniffles.
Bunny never seemed to have time for him. Only in the evenings, Sae got to have his alpha all for himself. Only in the evenings, when they were both sitting by the fire, or both cuddling naked in bed after sex, Sae could forget about everything else. When he inhaled the comforting, earthy scent of his mate, all of his worries became unimportant. Non-existent.
He squeezes his eyes shut until his sockets start burning and the pressure in them eases.
The cold, wet air makes the hair on Sae’s arms stand up, and the omega is forced to hug himself tighter. He misses Bunny’s warmth— his caring hand running through his hair, the gentle touch on his stomach as he kisses him lovingly.
A bird screams in the distance, and Sae is forced out of his illusion. The bubble pops loudly, and when the omega blinks, surprised, his surroundings feel even colder. Even gloomier.
He swallows down a whine with a heavy heart, and with bones as heavy as stone, he forces himself to get up again. He looks around and everything looks the same to him. Sae doesn’t know in which direction his tribe lies and doesn’t know where Ryusei’s is located either. He’s completely lost— it’s only him and his own, miserable thoughts.
A shiver runs down his spine. Sae doesn’t want to go back, doesn’t want to look Ryusei in the eyes ever again.
So, he begins walking, taking one step after the other. Mindlessly and without a destination in mind.
It’s so peaceful, so quiet here.
Sae hates it.
The omega is used to the quiet— this should be normal for him. This is something he could ignore, and yet, he finds himself feeling lonelier than ever. An uncomfortable pressure spreads through his chest, and Sae places a hand over his heart, clenching the fabric of his ruined dress.
He hasn’t realized how quickly he could grow used to a voice constantly buzzing next to him. What once was empty silence has been replaced by a chatty presence. Ryusei always talked, always filled the silent moments between them. He didn’t seem to be bothered by Sae’s untalkativeness, didn’t seem to mind talking for both of them instead.
The omega thought he hated it, but now, he wishes there was someone next to him talking his ear off more than ever. To distract him from the reality of being a kidnapped hostage, miles and days away from his home.
He barely even knows Ryusei, and yet, shame pools in his gut. The other omega has a weird obsession with Sae, and he still doesn’t understand why him. And yet, he’s managed to even chase away the only person who was willing to stay. Who somehow tolerated Sae because of reasons unbeknownst to him.
Or maybe, he’s just being stupid again. Perhaps it’s foolish to feel ashamed right now, to feel bad to have leashed out on Ryusei like this earlier. The other omega had it coming, Sae tries to convince himself.
Ryusei deserved it.
However, the weird feeling in his chest never leaves, even after minutes of mindless wandering. Sae isn’t the type to scream or cry at someone and isn’t someone who gets violent either. The omega hates conflict, hates being a burden, though he hates it more when he’s letting his emotions get a hold of him.
A proper wife is always in control. A proper wife never falls victim to their own feelings.
Sometimes, Sae wonders if he even deserves that title.
Hours have passed, the sun has long set. It’s dark, and the air is biting cold. If Sae had a torch, he could see his breath fogging in front of him. His teeth are clattering, his limbs are shaking. He hurts everywhere. He’s wet and freezing, hopeless and desperate.
He sniffles before his hand ball into a fist. I’m gonna die, he thinks. Don’t be stupid, a voice says back.
Then, he knocks. Sae waits a few moments; no one opens the door for him. He should’ve expected as much— or maybe he’s at the wrong house after all?
“Are you going to come in now or not?” Ryusei’s voice sounds from the inside, and Sae lets go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
Sae pushes the door open slowly and steps inside hesitantly. It’s warm in here, comfortable, if it only weren’t for that horribly thick and awkward silence hanging in the air. The omega sees Ryusei poke around in the open fire with an iron rod, sitting with his back turned towards him.
Sae doesn’t blame him.
Without a word, the omega sits down on a wooden stool. It’s small, but it allows him to get the rest he needs. He feels sick after cluelessly wandering through the forest for hours, trying to find his way back here once it dawned on him how reckless he’s been.
He eyes the fire longingly before wiping a speck of dirt off his face.
He knows how pathetic he must seem. Spitting big words, declaring that he’d never go back to this village after being humiliated. And now look at him, crawling back because he has no other choice. If he wants him and his unborn baby to survive, that is.
The omega is still trembling but doesn’t lose a single word. For a brief moment, the apology sits on the tip of his tongue, but he swallows it down again quickly. He doesn’t have the right, he thinks bitterly. Maybe Ryusei doesn’t even want to talk to him right now.
Sae is honestly surprised he was even allowed inside. If their roles were reversed, would he have given Ryusei another chance? Sae shakes his head; he doesn’t want to think about it.
“Have you finally calmed down again?” Ryusei speaks up suddenly. “Do you not want to throw rocks at me any longer?” The other omega still doesn’t turn around to look at him, and Sae grits his teeth to hold his tongue.
“…No,” he forces out, clenching the fabric of his dress. “I will not throw anything at you.”
“Doesn’t look like you’ve calmed down after all,” Ryusei returns. Neither of their voices is raised, but Sae believes a screaming match would’ve been less exhausting than this. This exchange is suffocating Sae— he doesn’t have the energy to argue, and yet he can’t help but shoot back again and again.
Only when the other omega finally turns around to glare at him does Sae turn his head away, not uttering another word.
Then, he hears Ryusei sigh. “What happened to you?” he asks, and Sae bites his bottom lip. “You’re hurt.”
“I fell,” Sae answers quietly, still not meeting the other’s gaze.
Another sigh sounds, and with that, the tension ebbs away slowly. “Stubborn omega,” he hears Ryusei say, and he’s sure the other omega is shaking his head, too. Sae neither turns his head, nor moves his eyes to stop staring at the small crack in the wooden floor to confirm his suspicion.
He jolts when a wet cloth is suddenly pressed against his cheek.
“Hold still,” Ryusei tells him, but his voice isn’t as harsh anymore. Sae looks up at him, and when their eyes meet, he doesn’t find it in him to resist. The look Ryusei gives him makes it hard to come up with anything anyway.
“You tripped over exposed roots, didn’t you?” the other asks as he begins wiping Sae’s face clean. Sae closes his eyes, a small blush creeping on his face. He doesn’t need to answer, they both know it’s true. “And those cuts?” Ryusei asks and nods to the small injuries on his arm. “You weren’t fighting with a wolf without me, were you?”
“That explanation would certainly be less embarrassing,” Sae returns, making Ryusei snicker slightly. The atmosphere is still a bit awkward, but at least breathing isn’t as hard anymore.
Ryusei’s touch is more careful than Sae would’ve guessed. The other omega is gentle while dragging the cloth over his skin, the pressure neither too hard nor too soft. It feels as if Ryusei has done this over a thousand times already.
“Wait, I need to get a bucket,” he tells Sae. “This won’t do.”
When Ryusei comes back, he throws him a look. “What?” Sae asks, puzzled.
“Will you scream and trash around again if I tell you to strip now?” The other omega crosses his arms in front of his chest. Sae balls his hands into fists. “Or do you want to keep wearing this dirt dress? Be my guest,” Ryusei says. “It’s just us in here,” he then adds with a softer voice.
He’s right. This time, it’s just the two of them and the fire cracking faintly beside them.
“What about your alpha?”
“Rensuke?” Ryusei wonders and hums. “Dead asleep upstairs.”
Sae breathes out an exhale. No one will see you. No one will make fun of you. The omega has only ever gotten naked when his alpha was around. Bunny makes him feel treasured, makes him feel beautiful at least once a day when he lets his big hands roam over Sae’s smaller body, prepping his sensitive neck with kisses lovingly as he fucks into him gently.
Never has he undressed in front of other people since he’s gotten mated. His body solely belonged to his alpha, but right now, maybe it doesn’t matter.
With slightly trembling hands, Sae pulls the dress over his head and lets it drop to the ground. The warm air of the room feels nice on his glistening skin, and yet Sae can’t help but curl in on himself.
Ryusei doesn’t comment on his looks this time, and Sae is glad. Instead, the other omega merely starts dragging the wet cloth over his skin once more. He starts at Sae’s shoulders, moving down his back next. Slow, unhurried movements in a silence that feels almost domestic now. It’s unfamiliar, odd. Sae has never experienced something like this with another omega.
Their proximity may be forced, but whatever is happening between them right now— Sae finds himself enjoying it.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, and Ryusei’s movements stop momentarily. “I didn’t mean the things I said. You’re no snake. If anything, it’s me.” Sae inhales sharply through his nose. “I was just…”
“It’s alright, gorgeous. Don’t be so hard on yourself,” the other omega says and steps in front of him. He gently pries away the arms Sae has thrown over his bare chest protectively, and crouches down in front of him next, giving him a small smile. “I’m not mad at you for it. I was,” he admits, “but not anymore.”
Ryusei takes Sae’s hands and gives them a squeeze. He blinks up at him, and Sae blinks right back. The fire burns behind Ryusei, yet the way it illuminates his face reminds Sae of the day he was kidnapped. The other’s tanned skin shimmers in the light, and when Sae stares into Ryusei’s eyes long enough, he can see himself in them, staring right back.
The other omega continues cleaning him with the wet cloth, dagging it across his small, bare chest. It feels strange, yet tender. Sae would’ve guessed the other omega could make it weird, erotic, but nothing is happening. Ryusei merely wets it in the bucket here and there, and every time, Sae is surprised by how nicely warm the water feels. How soft Ryusei is handling him.
As if Sae would break any moment now.
“The baby feel alright?” Ryusei asks as he drags the cloth over his stomach next. It’s still flat, but every time Sae lets his hands rest on top of it at night, he swears he can already feel his baby’s heartbeat. And sometimes, the omega can even feel its soul spark inside of him— as if it were to say I’m still here. I’m with you. You’re not entirely alone.
Back home, this simple sign of hope made it easier to tolerate the annoyed stares and glares of some of his tribe members. It made him believe that this unbearable loneliness was only temporary, nothing that would last forever. It made him hope for a future life filled with little giggles and smiles.
“Yeah,” Sae replies and looks down at Ryusei’s hand. The other omega is especially careful while touching Sae’s stomach. He doesn’t comment on it, though he appreciates the gesture nonetheless.
Another beat of silence passes. Somewhere outside, something rustles.
“Your tattoos,” Sae then begins. He doesn’t really know why he suddenly started another conversation, but this moment feels special, so intimate, he gets the feeling that letting it end here would be the wrong thing to do. “They’re nice. I like them.” He inhales quietly. “They say a lot about you. Good things.”
“Careful, I might think you’re giving me a compliment,” Ryusei snickers, and Sae smiles tiredly. “Yours are so pretty, too,” the other omega hums, lets a single finger brush over them. “They suit you. It’s like they were made for you.”
“Thanks,” Sae whispers back. The quiet wraps around him like a blanket, and the rhythmic sounds of Ryusei drenching the cloth in water, wringing it out, before bringing it to Sae’s skin make the omega’s eyes drop shut a few times. The monotonous noise brings him peace.
It somewhat reminds Sae of the days when he took care of a feverish Meguru. Of the days when it was just the two of them, too, and nobody else.
Sae heart squeezes. He misses Meguru dearly, and only now does Sae realize how similar he and Ryusei are. Both awfully chatty, both clingy, and having somehow taken a liking to Sae. (And while he could understand that Meguru is his brother’s mate, Ryusei has no good reason to like him just as much. They’re strangers, people who would just pass one another without a word in any other situation.)
What if Ryusei had taken Meguru instead, Sae wonders as the other omega drags the wet cloth down his sides to his hips. Wouldn’t Meguru have dealt with everything better than he currently is? Wouldn’t a bright omega like Meguru fit Ryusei’s eagerness a lot better than a gloomy, stoic one like Sae?
Sae bites his lips. Don’t say that. Rin would have gone insane without his omega by his side, and Sae would never wish for Meguru to be kidnapped. Though, he knows Rin would’ve wasted no time to chase after the kidnappers, determined to get his mate back even if he had to go alone.
Something Sae desperately wishes Bunny could’ve done.
“You’re looking so sad all the time,” Ryusei tells him. Sae doesn’t reply. “Cheer up? I know this tribe is different from yours but…”
“Different is a big word,” Sae retorts, turning his head away from Ryusei once the other omega starts cleaning the inside of his thighs. Ryusei looks up to him briefly, gaze piercing, and immediately, Sae is embarrassed again. However, he doesn’t attempt to cover up his bottom area, just silently lets the other omega do his thing.
Whether it’s because of the tiredness clinging to him, dragging him down and making it impossible to object even if he wanted to, or because Sae realizes being naked in Ryusei’s presence isn’t as bad as he originally feared, the omega doesn’t care.
Ryusei hums, perhaps catching onto Sae’s blush. “Reo and Chigiri gave me an earful when I returned without you earlier,” he says. “Telling me you guys probably have a similar sense of nudity as the people we trade with.” Sae blinks. “They don’t like presenting what they have to anyone but their mates, no matter how beautiful their bodies are.”
The other shrugs. “I’ve seen tribes where the omegas had to cover up every inch of their skin, and I also know a tribe right across the mountains where alphas and omegas live strictly separated, only meeting to conceive children.” Ryusei sighs and then groans. “I guess,” he starts again, “I should’ve known that you were different from us in that aspect, too.”
“I know you didn’t mean it, but it felt humiliating,” Sae explains. “I’ve never been exposed like this. Much less to strangers.” Sae’s and Ryusei’s eyes meet again. “But, Bunny also told me about omegas covered from head to toe in the cities. It’s because of their religion.”
“Feels restricting,” Ryusei returns, and Sae shakes his head.
“Why would it?” Sae asks. “They don’t ride horses, they don’t have to hunt. They don’t plant crops or pick herbs either,” he explains. “It’s always easy to judge when we don’t know what their life is like.”
Ryusei doesn’t object, only ever continues to drag the cloth down Sae’s legs. “I’m sorry, too,” he suddenly says, and Sae freezes. He blinks down at Ryusei in disbelief. “I didn’t mean the things I said either.” The other omega throws the cloth over the edge of the bucket and gives Sae a rather stiff smile.
He doesn’t return it, only swallows dryly.
“I would never want you to die.”
“Why?” Sae wonders out loud. “We don’t know each other. We’ve only spent a few days together, and we spent most of it arguing.”
Ryusei snickers and finally stands up again. “That doesn’t have to mean anything,” he tells Sae, not answering his question. “I knew Rensuke for a day before he decided to mate me.”
“A day?!” Sae gasps, and again, Ryusei can’t help but laugh.
“That’s a story for another day, precious,” he tells the omega and hands him a new set of clothing. “Here. I know it’s nowhere near comparable to that fancy dress of yours, but this yukata is the best I could find.”
The shy smile on Ryusei’s face lets Sae’s heart skip a beat. He eyes the simple fabric somewhat curiously.
“You will have to help me,” he says as he stands up, and Ryusei seems happy to oblige.
“Tomorrow, we can give the dress to Reo,” the other omega suggests. “See what he can do, alright?” Ryusei fastens the belt of the yukata on his waist, making sure not to tie it too tightly. “And then we can take another walk through the village and see if we can find a job for you.”
Ryusei steals a brief kiss from him before Sae even has the chance to react. Stop that, he thinks but doesn’t say. “I would love to give you the princess treatment, but unfortunately, Rensuke would kill me for real if I treated the hostage like royalty.” They both giggle slightly. “But merely sitting around would be boring anyway, am I right?”
Sae hums, looking at Ryusei as the other steps back and nods at him, approving the way the yukata sits on him. “It’s been a while since I’ve last worn one,” Sae then says. “It’s comfortable.”
“I’m glad,” Ryusei grins victoriously. “I saved a bit of food from dinner for you,” the other omega starts again, already walking off to the other side of the room where a small table is located. “Have some,” he pushes a plate on the table towards Sae. “And then,” Ryusei continues, “I will show you where you will sleep.”
The domesticity from just a few moments is slowly fading away, and Sae can feel the invisible trench widen between them again. It’s not because things are still awkward, Ryusei talks and giggles without a care as Sae takes a few bites out of his cold fish, but more because it was bound to happen sooner or later anyway.
Sae doesn’t belong here, doesn’t belong in a tribe where the omegas could be like alphas and the alpha could be like omegas. His place is next to Bunny, next to his alpha.
Other than that, there is no place for him in this world.
He doesn’t eat much, yet goes to bed hungry.
His sleeping place doesn’t ease the stiff muscles, and doesn’t make the pressure in his chest any less uncomfortable. It’s a thrown-together nest, hastily made merely to serve as a place to rest.
Ryusei made it for him, and the omega appreciates the thought at least. As he gets in, the other smiles at him again. “We can pay a visit to the hot springs tomorrow,” he whispers, and Sae blinks up at him. This time, Ryusei doesn’t kiss him again, but instead, he presses three fingers against his lips before bringing them to Sae’s cheek and pressing them down gently. A gesture of welcome.
“Good night, gorgeous,” Ryusei says and brushes a loose strand out of the omega’s face tenderly. “I will see you tomorrow.”
Sae doesn’t reply, and Ryusei doesn’t expect him to. Instead, he pulls the blanket up to his chin as he hears Rensuke grumble something once Ryusei slips into their bed on the other side of the room.
The other’s words were reaffirming, however, all Sae can think about is how no alpha is here to keep him warm, no alpha is lying pressed up against his back. There’s no muscular pair of arms snaking around his waist, no neck he could nose to breathe in the comforting pheromones.
Bunny is the furthest away from Sae than he has ever been, and only now does it fully sink in. Sae stares up at the tiny window, watches the moonlight shine through it, and sighs defeatedly.
A longing ache shoots through his heart like a fatal arrow.
This will be his life now for the upcoming dark, gloomy winter months. He will walk around in a village full of strangers, and he will go to bed in the room of a mated couple. Everywhere Sae goes, he will be an intruder. He will be the odd one, never truly belonging anywhere.
(Except to one omega, who looks at Sae as if he was something special. Something worth keeping.)
He closes his eyes and wonders how Bunny must feel without him by his side. His inner omega whines at that, pities the lonely alpha somewhere on the other end of the forest, however, at the same time, a small part of his brain wonders if his alpha even cares at all.
Sae buries his face deeper in the pelt underneath him. Your alpha loves you, Sae has to remind himself as he shudders out a breath. He tries closing his eyes even harder but it doesn’t matter.
He doubts he will get a minute of sleep tonight.