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Jeongin is cute when he cries.
Still in high school and so close to debuting he can taste it, Hyunjin watches from across the room as Jeongin's face crumples. Jeongin ducks his head, but it doesn't hide the glimmer of tears on his cheeks, the mirror in the dance room giving him away.
That fondness Hyunjin always feels around Jeongin doubles as he watches him.
The thing is, Jeongin is always cute. So it really shouldn't be a surprise that he's also cute when his face is scrunched up and his emotions are flowing out of his eyes and nose. But he can't help but think that Jeongin is extra cute when he cries.
The others swarm the maknae, patting his back and saying soothing things.
"It's okay. Don't cry."
"Jeonginnie, don't worry so much."
"Shh, maknae."
Hyunjin's bones itch. They are all saying the wrong things. Jeongin doesn't need to be forced to stop crying. He should be allowed to cry as much as he wants.
Before he knows it, he's across the room and wiggling his way through his soon-to-be members. He knocks Chan's awkward arm from around Jeongin's shoulders and stands right in front of the maknae.
Jeongin's shoulders are bony and narrow beneath Hyunjin's hands. He should have gripped his jaw instead, but he's not quite that bold.
"Look at me, aegi," Hyunjin says brightly. His heart trembles a little, but not with sadness. It outright lurches when Jeongin complies and lifts his head, giving Hyunjin a clear view of his sticky, blotchy face.
Hyunjin smiles at him. "Go ahead and let it all out."
Jeongin sniffles harder, and his face crumples further, and all Hyunjin can think is how insanely cute he is.
He pulls Jeongin into a firm hug. Jeongin's sobs shake his small frame, and Hyunjin feels each and every one in his own bones. The maknae's tears wet his shoulder, forehead digging in there. It lights him up from the inside.
"That's it. Let it out."
He's just being a good hyung.
November 2023
Music show days are always long and exhausting. It's a lot of "hurry up and wait," with plenty of downtime.
Hyunjin would rather spend his downtime cozy in his bed, but taking photos of Jeongin renders the impersonal back halls of the MBC building bearable. Being with Jeongin makes anything bearable, even if he can't kiss the living daylights out of him like he wants to.
"How are they?" Jeongin asks, rising from his crouch.
They are all dressed and made up for their stage later today. Hyunjin almost had a heart attack when Jeongin dropped into a squat and looked up at the camera phone in Hyunjin's hands with a pout. That's after he almost had a heart attack when Jeongin excited the make-up chair.
Because he's wearing a collar. A chunky black collar that says I.N. Along with wavy blonde-and-black hair, and ripped denim shorts that show off his ridiculously muscular legs.
Hyunjin wants to eat him.
"Too cute and sexy like always," Hyunjin says, licking his lips. He angles the phone screen towards him. "Stay are going to ask if they can date you again if you post these. Can't you be less photogenic for once?"
Jeongin laughs his loud honk of a laugh and elbows him. "You're one to complain about being photogenic. Besides, this will give you a chance to remind everyone that I'm yours." Jeongin blinds him with a dimpled eye smile for a second before he turns away, shy. He runs his fingers along his collar.
Kiss. The. Living. Daylights. Out of him.
Hyunjin is going to explode. He only just became Jeongin's boyfriend last month, and his urge to be all over him all the time has only increased. It's criminal that they have to hide their relationship in public, that Jeongin can flaunt his cuteness and tease him when he knows Hyunjin can't do anything about it right now.
He reaches out to grab Jeongin's collar, but before his fingers can make contact—
"Sunbae-nims!"
Hyunjin drops his hand, turning in sync with Jeongin to see the two young men walking up the stairs.
Yujin and Ricky from Zerobaseone approach them, Ricky with confidence and Yujin somewhat hiding behind his hyung. Yujin's eyes are wide, darting to Hyunjin and then back down to his feet approximatly ten times a second.
Hyunjin wracks his brain. He's only spoken to these guys maybe once, but he thinks that Yujin is the maknae of the young group. Ricky is definitely younger than both him and Jeongin, also.
It was Ricky who called out to them.
Jeongin bows shallowly, and Hyunjin follows. "Hello," Hyunjin says cheerfully, slinging his arm around Jeongin's shoulders just because he can. "I think I saw a bit of your performance. You did really well!"
Yujin blushes while Ricky grins, and Hyunjin feels the warmth of being a good sunbae fill his chest. It's so important to encourage younger idols. He remembers all too well the suffocating pressure and worry of the early days. If he can alleviate it just a little, he'll be happy.
Under his arm, it feels like Jeongin tenses. But that can't be true, because his smile is wide when he says, "Yeah. Your song is really great!"
"Thanks," Ricky says. He steps to the side and nudges his maknae forward. "Yujin here just wanted to say hello. He really looks up to you guys."
Yujin pushes him roughly. "Hyung!"
"What?!"
Hyunjin laughs. "Don't be mad at him, Yujin-ah." He ruffles Jeongin's hair affectionately. "We hyungs have to look after our cute maknaes. I know all about that."
Jeongin pulls his signature face of disgust, but doesn't try to wiggle out from under Hyunjin's arm. In fact, he leans a little closer.
Ricky nudges Yujin, and Yunjin swallows heavily before meeting Hyunjin's eye. "Actually, you're one of the reasons I wanted to be an idol, Hyunjin-sunbaenim."
Hyunjin feels squirmy inside. How sweet. It's still odd that he's been an idol long enough to become a role model for others.
But he'll be damned before he fails as a sunbae.
"Ah, call me hyung, then!" Hyunjin says brightly, gripping Jeongin reflexively. Wow, when did his muscles get so hard? "I'll have to treat you to a meal one of these days," he continues.
Yujin's hands fly to his mouth and he bows so fast and so many times, Hyunjin's glad Ricky has a hand behind his back to keep him from falling. "That would be amazing!"
Jeongin clears his throat. "Hyung, we're on soon. Let's go." He smiles at the ZB1 boys and says farewell before wrapping his long fingers around Hyunjin's wrist and tugging him away.
Hyunjin stumbles and throws a "Talk to you later!" over his shoulder.
Jeongin drags him through the halls, and Hyunjin bites his lip. His palm around his wrist is so warm and firm, it makes heat pool low in his gut. If only he could flip that hold around, press Jeongin into a wall. Get their bodies close together.
"That was nice," Hyunjin says, just to have something to say that's not "please oh please let's get naked right now." They've only made love twice so far, but Hyunjin has been dreaming of doing it a third time ever since they got dressed after the second time. Though he did get to finger Jeongin once to completion, and they've traded a few blowjobs.
They pass lots of people on their way back to their green room, so he can't exactly voice all his dirty thoughts right now. "What a cute little maknae they have. Reminds me of you back during debut!"
Jeongin's grip tightens, but he doesn't say anything. Soon enough, they slip into the green room, where most of the members are lounging or doing vocal exercises.
Hyunjin frowns, then looks at the clock on the wall. It's no where near time to go on.
"Iyen-ah," he says. "We have lots of time. There's no need to rush back yet."
Grunting, Jeongin doesn't meet his eye, and Hyunjin catalogues the popped vein in his jaw with confusion. His confusion grows when Jeongin releases his wrist and plops himself down on the couch between Minho and Chan, leaving no space for anyone else.
The next hour sees Hyunjin's anxiety rise as Jeongin avoids him like the plague. He won't look at or talk to him at all. Hyunjin wracks his brain to figure out what could be wrong and comes up blank.
A glance at the clock shows that they need to get into position in just five minutes. Hyunjin's mouth is dry, his chest tight when he finally corners Jeongin—literally crowding him into the corner of the room, blocking his escape with his body.
"Iyennie, please tell me what's going on. Did I do something to make you upset with me?"
Jeongin's eyes flick to Hyunjin's bare arms, spread as they are to cage him in. His unbearably cute hair trembles as he shakes his head. "Not now. I'll tell you after we perform. I don't want to distract you."
A high, hurt noise escapes Hyunjin's throat. "I'm already distracted. If there's something, I want to know. Please please please?" He ducks his head to try and catch Jeongin's eyes.
Jeongin nibbles on his lower lip, hard face softening a little. Hyunjin takes a risk and strokes his thumb over that sharp cheekbone. "Baby? Please?"
An exhale. Jeongin snaps his gaze up to Hyunjin. "Do you like me or Yujin better?"
Hyunjin blinks once, then furrows his brows. "What?"
Jeongin's hands clench into fists by his side and he looks away again. His voice is hard and low. "You offered to take him out for a meal. You said he should call you hyung."
A glimmer of understanding breaks the clouds of Hyunjin's confusion. Just a glimmer, though. Which is why he says, "I was just trying to be a good sunbae to him. He's my dongsaeng, so—"
"I'm your dongsaeng, Hyunjin-hyung!" Jeongin says fiercely, all the more powerful for the low volume. His eyes are fiery as he snaps his gaze back to Hyunjin's. "You have me, why do you need another dongsaeng to spoil? Huh? Is it him or me?"
There must be something wrong with Hyunjin, because in the face of that fierceness, of that pure and sincere jealousy, all he thinks is: He's so fucking cute I need to make love to him right now.
Which he can't do, obviously. Which sucks.
So he giggles, and runs his hands up Jeongin's body until the soft, warm skin of his neck and jaw falls beneath his cupped palms.
"It's you, Yang Jeongin," Hyunjin says softly. "It's always you. You are my number one. My star. My other half. My baby. My—" he has to stop now or else he's going to out them by shoving his tongue down his throat in this crowded room.
The foundation stops Jeongin's blush from shining through on his cheeks, but no one ever puts make-up on ears, and they glow a cherry red under Hyunjin's words. "Oh. Good."
Hyunjin nods emphatically, mouth stretched in a crazed grin. "Hyung is sorry he dared to be nice to someone younger than him who isn't you."
That gets Jeongin to roll his eyes. "Stop."
"Time to go!" A manager's voice carries over all other sound in the room, and Hyunjin steps back reluctantly.
He winks at Jeongin, letting his fingers linger as long as possible on his skin. "Ready?"
Jeongin puffs out some air and nods.
Their stage goes wonderfully. Hyunjin really likes LALALA: the choreography, his lines, everything. The screams and cheers from the audience amp him up, and he watches Jeongin drink in the energy, too, smile radiant.
They finish all the takes necessary and saunter into the back halls sweaty and wired. The adrenaline from a successful performance gives Hyunjin a high like none other. He knows his members feel the same, judging by their jumping and random squeezing of each other.
As they walk, Hyunjin looks out the window. What he sees has him squealing loud enough for everyone to pause their conversations to look at him.
"It's snowing! Iyennie! The first snow!"
The rest of the members laugh indulgently as Hyunjin and Jeongin reach for each other's hands instantly; they've been first-snow buddies for years, after all.
Though this is the first time they'll view it as boyfriends.
It's Hyunjin's turn to tug Jeongin through the halls, aiming for the closest door. Maybe he should stop for a jacket, but he's overheating anyway from performing. Jeongin has a jacket already. They won't be outside long.
Jeongin laughs bright and loud as Hyunjin slams a door open and bursts into the cold air outside. He looks up at the gently falling snowflakes. A light dusting already coats the ground. It's so picturesque and romantic he could sing.
They are at the back of the building, nothing but an empty parking lot and bushes greet his eyes. It would be so easy to pull Jeongin into a kiss right here, but—better not. Papparazi are great at hiding.
He looks down at Jeongin's gently smiling face surrounded by snow and squeezes his hands. "I love you," he whispers, the oft-spoken words falling easily from his lips. "Just think about all the first snows we've seen together. And now…" he rubs his thumb over the back of Jeongin's hand, tugging him a little closer. "It came true."
Hyunjin doesn't take his eyes off Jeongin. He sees how a weight seems to fall on him. Sees how the high from performing and the timelessness of this moment hit and mix inside his chest, growing like a chemical reaction of emotion.
He sees those beautiful foxy eyes tear up, and suddenly his fluttery romantic feelings sharpen into something hungry. It's so sudden, Hyunjin almost stumbles at the abrupt turn of sensation inside him.
"Hyung," Jeongin warbles, voice thick. It makes Hyunjin's stomach lurch concerningly, his focus narrow. "I—" he swallows heavily, and Hyunjin tracks the bob of his throat like a tiger with a gazelle.
"What are you feeling, baby?" Hyunjin whispers, utterly enraptured. Hungry vibrations threaten to jump out of his skin.
"I just—you're right. I never would have thought—" he gulps in another breath. His nose is pink now, wetness glistening around his nostrils. "I'm happy I'm with you," he croaks, and blinks rapidly.
The wet clumps of his eyelashes stoke the fire inside Hyunjin.
"I'm happy, too, sweetheart," Hyunjin says, and he wonders if his voice sounds as raw and crazy as he feels.
Jeongin shakes his head a little, and a single tear runs down his cheek. Hyunjin's hand moves before he tells it to, pressing a finger into the tear. It practically burns him in the cold air.
"And I'm s-sorry I was like that. Earlier. Jealous. You d-didn't do anything wrong. You should be allowed to be n-nice to other dongsae—"
This is torture. This is bliss. Jeongin stuttering through a sweet, unnecessary apology, face wet and red from the cold and his tears. Eyes shining. Mouth screwed up as he tries to stay composed.
Hyunjin doesn't want him composed. He wants him sobbing louder, messier, wetter.
Fuck, he's hard.
"No apologies for that," he croons, cupping his boyfriend's face. "I like it when you're jealous. I like it when you remind me that I'm yours. And you're mine." If he inhales deep enough, he can smell the salt from Jeongin's tears. "Be as possessive as you want, Iyen-ah. Because I will be, too."
Jeongin's breath hitches, and he stares up with absolute trust on his trembling face. A snowflake lands on his leather collar and melts.
God, he's perfect. Hyunjin needs to get him off right now.
He quickly does a 12-O'clock tuck for his erection, hiding it. "Come on," he all but growls, hooking his arm around Jeongin's neck and tugging him into his side.
"Wh-what?" Utterly confusion colors Jeongin's choked voice, but Hyunjin doesn't stop to explain.
Hyunjin yanks open the door and drags them back inside, eyes darting around for a private place. He doesn't have any lube, so he can't make love to Jeongin properly. Maybe he'll give him a blow job, or jerk them off together. Ah, but hand-jobs don't typically overwhelm Jeongin, and Hyunjin wants to see more of those tears. Fingering him then? He can do that without lube, right? Just spit a lot.
Easy, with how his mouth is watering right now.
"Hyung, wait! Let me—I don't want anyone to see me like this!" He starts wiping his eyes.
Hyunjin grabs his hands and pulls them away from his face. "Don't do that, baby."
"Hyung, no." Jeongin rips his way out of Hyunjin's hold.
Damn it. He's getting too strong again. Looks like Hyunjin will have to increase his own gym time.
Hyunjin is still marching them down the hall. A bathroom? Maybe. A random side room? He tries the handles of several rooms, and all of them are locked. Damn it!
He looks at Jeongin, and his steps falter.
Gone are the tears, the wetness. The skin around his eyes is still a little red, but otherwise, it looks like he was never crying in the first place.
Hyunjin almost falls to his knees and howls. What a loss! The fire in his gut has no where to go, now! Swirling and pent-up and trapped!
"Hyung? You okay?"
Hyunjin blinks back to the present. He doesn't want to know what his face was doing for Jeongin to look at him so suspiciously.
"Ha. Ha. Yes. Are you?"
What was that just now? That overwhelming surge of desire?
Guess that's just the Jeongin effect on me. Sounds plausible. Hyunjin has always been insane about Jeongin, after all. There's probably nothing else to it.
Jeongin nods and shrugs out of Hyunjin's hold. Hyunjin's arm drops to his side, just like his heart.
Jeongin doesn't go far, thankfully. They bump shoulders as they continue walking down the hall. "We should get back. Gotta prep for the fanmeet, you know."
Right yes. The fanmeet. Where everyone will see how cute and precious and fuckable Jeongin is. And Hyunjin will have to keep his lips and dick to himself. (He can for sure sneak in some groping, though.)
Curse this idol life, keeping him from ravishing his boyfriend when he wants.
January 2024
Hyunjin is rudely awakened by his phone ringing. Groaning, he pats around blindly until he feels it. He squints, peering at the screen and groans again before answering.
"Why are you calling me at 9 in the morning?" he croaks, grumpy. His bed is a cozy cacoon of blankets and pillows, and his first schedule isn't until noon. This is the worst kind of betrayal.
"Your boyfriend is freaking out," says Felix. "Thought you'd like to know."
Scratch that. Felix is an angel who doesn't know the meaning of the word betrayal.
Hyunjin stays horizontal, but his body speedruns his typical one-hour waking process. His blood pumps faster, his body regains its strength, and his mind clears in just a few seconds.
"Yeni doesn't really freak out," he says, clearing his throat.
"Eh. He's doing his version."
Water. He needs water. Water so he can speak, and then shoes and a jacket so he can go over to the Cuties Dorm.
"What's he freaking out about?" Hyunjin asks, slithering out of bed. "And why hasn't he called me?"
"His pimples from yesterday are worse," Felix informs him. "And we've got the color analysis Rachalog to film today, so…"
"Ah."
Hyunjin puts the phone on speaker as he strides to the kitchen to chug a glass of water.
It's been a joy watching Jeongin grow more confident in himself. The past few years have seen him pour such dedication into his skills that he finally has a firm foundation of self-esteem. Hyunjin loved seeing him become proud of his singing especially, finally ridding himself of the imposter syndrome he carried for so long.
That new glow of confidence was really hot. More importantly, it helped Hyunjin realize that Jeongin was finally secure enough in himself that an actual relationship might be welcome. That Jeongin was possibly ready to bear the full brunt of Hyunjin's affection, as well as ready to allow himself to reciprocate.
He sat on that realization for a whole four hours before confessing his love. Jeongin had made him wait almost an entire week (the longest and most painful week of Hyunjin's life) before accepting.
Steady self-confidence aside, Hyunjin's beloved baby bread is still too hard on himself, still chasing perfection in all his idol-work. It's not surprising that he's anxious over some pimples when they've got close-up, bare-faced filming on the schedule today.
"Is he doing that quiet, frowny thing? And he's all tense?" Hyunjin asks Felix, rushing to the door to slip his shoes on. He doesn't wonder who in 3racha is home and who is already at the studio or gym. He's got more important things to occupy his mind.
"Very tense," rumbles Felix. "I tried massaging him and his shoulders were like rock."
Hyunjin shuts the door behind him. "Thanks for calling. I'll be right over."
"FYI, he just went into our bathroom again. He's been in and out all morning. But I haven't heard any toilet sounds."
"Okay."
Hyunjin isn't much of a fixer. Right now he just wants to be with Jeongin in his time of need. He's not going to bombard him with possible solutions, he's just going to hold him and tell him he's great.
A few minutes later, he's tapping in the door code and slipping into the Cuties Dorm.
For a moment, the apartment seems empty. The kitchen and living room are void of motion, coffee maker quiet, game controllers lying still and haphazard on the entertainment stand. There's not a sound of life.
Hyunjin slips his shoes off and closes the door right as Felix appears from the hallway, headband pulling his long blonde hair away from his face. Hyunjin's own brownish hair is short enough that only his bangs get into his eyes.
"He's still in the bathroom?"
Felix nods. "It's been really quiet in there."
Hyunjin shrugs out of his coat, leaving him in his soft sleep shirt. "Where are Minho-hyung and Seungmin?"
Felix shrugs. "Out. Not sure where."
Hyunjin strides across the living room and pats Felix's shoulder as he passes. "Okay. I'm gonna see what I can do to help."
Felix's smile is radiant, his deep voice shaking Hyunjin's bones as he says, "Fighting!"
Hyunjin maneuvers through the apartment with the ease of familiarity, entering Jeongin's room to stand in front of the bathroom door inside. He takes in the unmade bed and the overstuffed closet, noting the clean floor and the hanging rack of hats.
Jeongin can't be feeling too bad if his room is still mostly tidy. It would look like a whirlwind if he was really distraught.
He knocks briskly on the bathroom door. "Yeni? It's hyung. I'm coming in, okay?"
There's no response save for the thump and clatter of something. Hyunjin waits a few moments and then opens the door and steps inside.
Ah. Here's the mess.
Jeongin meets Hyunjin's eyes in the mirror over the sink, his brows drawn low, his jaw tight and his lip trembling. The counter is a warzone of creams and bottles and scraps of packaging.
Hyunjin's heart, already soft, melts further as he takes in the barely controlled emotion in Jeongin's dark brown eyes.
He moves. Making the distance between them vanish in a heartbeat, Hyunjin grabs Jeongin's shoulders (indeed as hard as rock) and turns him around firmly, quickly embracing him right away.
"Hello, my pretty baby," Hyunjin croons, smiling.
How could he not smile? When Jeongin's face is mere inches from his own, sharp and smooth, rusty red hair tousled and brushing his strong brows. Yes, he sees two red pimples on his chin, but they do nothing to detract from his beauty.
Were they in public, Jeongin would probably scoff, scowl, or grimace in response. But here, alone, not needing to perform for anyone, Jeongin drops his eyes and lets misery drag his mouth downward.
"I'm not pretty right now."
Hyunjin gasps in mock (maybe not actually mock) outrage. "What?! My boyfriend is always pretty. I—"
"Not now, hyung," Jeongin says, voice low and rough. Hyunjin's ears pick up the thin quality of it: sounds like Jeongin's throat is closing up as he fights off tears.
The first involuntary thrum of excitement quakes Hyunjin's gut, nudging his tender heart.
"Yes now," Hyunjin says, sliding one hand up to cup Jeongin's neck. He wants to grab his cheeks, but knows that would be too much for Jeongin at the moment. "You have some pimples, so what? You're still the hottest Stray Kid." His other hand stays firm on Jeongin's lower back, preventing him from moving away. He feels so hard and tense beneath Hyunjin's palm, Hyunjin's heart hurts for him.
Jeongin shakes his head, eyes suddenly growing wet and shiny. "But we film today." His voice is an adorable, miserable croak. "And it's gonna be close ups. My face isn't good enough for that today."
The tears spill over, a single one for each eye.
"Look at me, baby," Hyunjin commands quietly. Obedient as usual, Jeongin does, and Hyunjin's stomach lurches. It fizzes and warms, and his heart picks up its pace.
Both barefoot, standing so close together that Jeongin's chest radiates heat onto Hyunjin's own, Jeongin's face is tipped up to meet Hyunjin's eyes. His long dragon eyes glimmer with tears, pupils and irises dark as night, eyelids turning pink as Hyunjin watches. The tear tracks slide over his sharp cheekbones, running out of water by the time they reach the corner of his mouth.
Jeongin's mouth. Which he's trying so hard to control: lips pressing tight one moment only to soften into plush fullness, trembling in time with Hyunjin's own internal earthquake.
Hyunjin could stare for hours.
What was I doing?
Doesn't matter. Without conscious thought, Hyunjin's arms contract to pull Jeongin closer and dips his face down to gently kiss those tear-softened lips.
He doesn't fight the sigh that slips out of him at the contact. It feels so right, having those warm, wet, salty lips beneath his own. It always feels right, when he can touch Jeongin. His neck is smooth beneath Hyunjin's palm, the dip of his lower back the perfect spot for his fingers to dig in.
Jeongin kisses back, lips a little shaky, breath very warm. It's heaven.
When Hyunjin pulls back, his mind clears a little. Jeongin's last words finally register.
"Your face is always good enough," he says, bumping their foreheads together. "Always always always."
Jeongin sniffles, and Hyunjin's knees almost buckle, the new lurch in his stomach as powerful as a rollercoaster. "You're biased."
Hyunjin smiles so wide and sudden, his cheeks hurt. "You bet I am. And so are your fans."
Jeongin's face crumples a little more at that, and fresh tears leak from his eyes. "Hyung," he whimpers. A plea.
Heat and static surge through Hyunjin, pooling low in his groin and racing up to his fingers. This time, he can't resist gripping Jeongin's slick cheeks, flesh giving beautifully beneath his fingers. He mashes their lips together again, kissing hungrily, sucking on Jeongin's warm lips.
Jeongin is so precious. So cute. So sweet. So hot. So perfect. He tastes so good, sounds so good, feels so good. Heat and salt and Hyunjin can't get enough. He'll never get enough. He's starving right now. So what if they made love two nights ago, he's hungry now. Now with Jeongin so sweet and vulnerable and—
Jeongin pulls away from the kiss, gasping. Hyunjin feels Jeongin's heartbeat pounding through two layers of clothes.
No matter. Hyunjin's hungry lips start peppering the rest of Jeongin's face with kisses. If his baby bread needs to breathe, he'll let him breathe of course. He's not a monster.
Hands groping everywhere, he kisses Jeongin's tear-wet cheeks, his forehead, his pink nose, his chin.
Jeongin jerks back as soon as Hyunjin's lips touch the pimples. He steps out of Hyunjin's arms, big hands coming up to push against his chest.
"Wait, wait. Hyunjin-hyung, wait."
Hyunjin opens his eyes, vision a little hazy, lips a little numb. He licks them, and thrills when he tastes Jeongin's tears. "Hmm?"
"I. Um."
Hyunjin can't parse the look on Jeongin's sticky, red face. All he knows is his dick is getting hard and there are no fresh tears coming from Jeongin's gorgeous eyes.
Wait. This all started because Jeongin was upset about something. As a good boyfriend, Hyunjin should try to make him feel better.
"How about hyung takes you to bed?" Hyunjin gasps. He's already breathless. "Let's get your mind off this, yeah? I'll make you feel good."
Jeongin's Adam's apple bobs, and Hyunjin wants to fit his mouth around it. But the next second, he's shaking his head, straight tips of his reddish hair flying out with the motion.
God, he's so cute.
"Ah, no. I don't—not right now."
Wait, what?
Hyunjin pouts. He doesn't mean to. It just happens. "Yeni~" he whines.
Jeongin's fingers drift to his pimples again. "I need to finish getting ready before we have to go."
Hyunjin blinks. "Go?"
Jeongin chuckles, more breath than sound. It still makes Hyunjin's heart soar. "Yeah. The managers said they'd pick us up at 11 today. It's already 10." His smile is soft and indulgent, and Hyunjin doesn't even care that he's being lightly judged. He's allowed to be scatterbrained and lose track of time when his boyfriend is involved.
"I thought we were filming at noon today?"
Jeongin nods, smile even more indulgent, like Hyunjin is a preschooler. "Yes. But we have to leave home and get ready before the cameras roll at noon. Right?"
Hyunjin loves him so much.
"Right." He schools his face into the saddest, most pathetic pout he can. "So we don't have time to make love?"
It works. Jeongin laughs, dimples deep and proud. "Exactly."
"Aw~"
Jeongin shakes his head. "I don't even know how you can be so horny right now. I'm literally a mess."
I like it messy, don't you know by now?
Before Hyunjin can say that, Jeongin bounces forward to give Hyunjin a fleeting kiss, withdrawing before Hyunjin can capture him. Then Jeongin is pushing him out of the bathroom.
"Go home and get dressed, hyung. I'll see you in the car, okay?"
Hyunjin stumbles out of the bathroom. Jeongin has gotten way too strong. Hyunjin needs to do something about that.
He spins around right before Jeongin can shut the door on him. "Wait! Do you feel better?"
Jeongin's fingers drift to his chin pimples again, but he smiles. "Yeah, hyung. Thanks for coming."
Hyunjin's face splits into a grin. "You know I'd be with you all the time if I could."
Jeongin rolls his eyes, but his smile never wavers. "My clingy hyung."
"My other half," Hyunjin says with a wink, blowing a kiss.
Jeongin ducks his head, a light blush settling over his skin. "Okay okay! Now get out of here! I'll see you in an hour!" The bathroom door slams in his face.
The fire inside him has cooled, his hunger abated as he saunters out of Jeongin's room. Felix looks up from the kitchen table.
"Why do you look like you just got laid?"
Hyunjin snorts. "I wish. Not for lack of trying."
Felix grins, all feline. "But instead…?"
Hyunjin shrugs. "He feels better about the pimples now, I think. He was smiling when he kicked me out."
Felix glanced at his phone. "Oh, yeah. We gotta go soon." He hops off his stool, then looks Hyunjin up and down. "You going like that?"
Hyunjin shakes his head. He hasn't even brushed his teeth yet. Innie kissed me anyway, he thinks dreamily. That's true love.
"Nah. I'll go back to my place to get ready. Meet you in the parking garage later."
Felix nods and disappears.
Hyunjin looks over his shoulder, staring at the wall as if he could suddenly develop X-ray vision and see Jeongin.
That's okay. He'll survive for the next hour. And then do his best to make this color analysis Rachalog filming fun.
Months later
It's not like Hyunjin was deluding himself into thinking he didn't have a crying kink when it came to Jeongin. But, he can admit he was a little slow to realize exactly what it was. Why reducing Jeongin to tears in bed made his own pleasure sharper, bigger, sweeter. And why seeing those tears outside the bedroom had the same effect.
The full force of this realization comes crashing down on him at the most inopportune time: on stage in front of thousands of fans, his face and body fair game to be blown up on the big screen.
Because, of course, Jeongin is crying.
Not only Jeongin. Felix is too, face distorting into frowning sobs. And yet, when Hyunjin looks at Felix, he feels only sweet fondness.
When he looks at Jeongin, overwhelmed by emotion and eyes almost closed with tears, he feels arousal shoot through his veins with all the force of a comet.
Once again, he can't do anything about it.
Why, oh why does Jeongin choose to crumble into fuckable tears at the worst possible moments? Why can't he cry at home, like a normal person? Why is this the first non-sexual time he's cried since the Rachalog Pimple incident??
(That was at home! And Hyunjin didn't even get to hit then!)
The world is cruel, Jeongin is criminally pretty, and Hyunjin is currently being cockblocked by all the Stay in the audience.
The concert drags, Hyunjin practically vibrating out of his skin. He tucks his dick so no-one sees, and maybe his encore performance is a little more sultry and sexy and unhinged than usual. Jisung certainly gives him a shocked once-over in the midst of it.
Jeongin has, unfortunately, composed himself and performs without tears actively running down his face, though he's still deliciously pink-nosed and puffy-eyed.
They leave the stage for the final time, sweating buckets in the balmy air. Hyunjin plots.
We can skip pictures. I'll take Jeongin separately in the car while Chan says his million thank yous to the staff. Jeongin is still emotional, probably tired enough that I can make him cry again. The hotel is close. We can make it soon.
Hyunjin zooms to Jeongin's side, slipping his arm around his waist. Jeongin looks up at him, just enough of tearfulness left in his face that it's like a horny punch to the gut.
Damn, I should really start carrying lube. We could find a bathroom here.
How would he do that, though? He can't have a bulky bottle in his pocket, especially when he so often is changing in and out of costumes. He could keep it in his bag, but then that defeats the purpose of having it on him in case he needs it.
Hmm. Much to think about.
"Let's go, Iyennie," Hyunjin says, trying to not sound like a feral animal. "Back to the hotel. I'll grab a driver."
Jeongin's eyebrows pinch in the middle, and he sniffles. "Already? There's no rush. I—"
Hyunjin can't pretend anymore. "Please, baby," he whispers. "I need to. I need you. I want it to just be you and me and nobody else. Please."
Jeongin's eyes widen a little, and he shakes his head. That heart-melting smile does its job on Hyunjin as Jeongin says, "Clingy hyung. Okay. Let's go."
"Thank you," Hyunjin breathes, and swoops down to kiss—his cheek. At the last second he remembers where they are, and plants one on Jeongin's cheek instead of his perfect lips.
Even with a united effort, it still takes too long to get out of the venue. Too long to change out of their concert clothes. Too long to get into the car. Too long to reach the hotel. Hyunjin doesn't stop touching Jeongin the whole time, but his plan to get him crying again is postponed because the Skziji driving them is chatty.
Instead of whispering heart-tugging things to Jeongin, Hyunjin is forced to have a conversation about the concert they just completed, and review plans for the next few days that the Skziji yammers on and on about.
"Okay, thanks, bye!" He says cheerfully (not manic at all) and all but jumps out of the moving vehicle when they arrive in front of the hotel. He taps his foot as Jeongin takes his time climbing out of the car, clamping his hand around the back of Jeongin's neck as soon as he straightens up.
"Hyung-nim," Jeongin complains in that way where he's not really annoyed.
Hyunjin takes it as permission to speed-walk them into the hotel, through the lobby, into an elevator, down the hallway, and into his own solo hotel room.
It takes forever.
When the door closes behind them, Jeongin just looks at him calmly. The storm raging inside Hyunjin clearly doesn't touch him, and it makes Hyunjin weak in the knees.
There are no traces of crying left on Jeongin's face, only statuesque cheekbones and hair he danced into disarray.
Make him cry again.
"So, Innie," Hyunjin starts, toeing off his sneakers and running his hand down Jeongin's arm. "That was pretty emotional, huh?" He steps behind Jeongin, cooing into his ear.
Jeongin curls into himself a little and smiles sheepishly, dimples popping. "Yeah. Ah, it's embarrassing."
Hyunjin bites his lip and slips his hands beneath Jeongin's shirt, rubbing his waist at just the right pressure. His little fox can be so ticklish, but he knows how to bypass that by now. "Not embarrassing. I get it. We've worked really hard. And it's all been worth it. You saw how touched Stay was. You did that."
"Hyung," Jeongin whines. "Stop. You'll make me cry again."
A thrill races through Hyunjin. One that ends at his flaccid dick and makes it start to fill out.
"That wouldn't be so bad," he breathes, skating his hands higher up Jeongin's torso. He plays over muscle and bone until he gets to Jeongin's impressive pecs. One squeeze has him salivating.
"I don't—" Jeongin pauses. His hands fly to Hyunjin's stilling them.
Don't think. Just feel. Give into it.
"My boyfriend has worked so hard. Sacrificed so much. Come so far. Little Jeonginnie in SOPA would be sobbing if he saw you now."
Abruptly, Jeongin wrenches himself out of Hyunjin's arms and turns, facing him with a frown. Not a frown that's a prelude to tears, either. Damn it.
"Hyunjin-hyung," he says evenly. "Do you… You really like when I cry, don't you?"
A sudden wash of fear seizes Hyunjin's heart. He blinks. Blinks again. His arms stay open where Jeongin left them, too little brainpower left for him to move them.
Will this finally be the final straw, where Jeongin decides he's too intense? Should he pretend it's not true?
No way. He can't lie to Jeongin. Romance doesn't allow it.
"Oh. Um. Yes. Yes, I do."
Jeongin's frown disappears, and that brief spike of fear drains from Hyunjin's heart.
"Oh my gosh. Everything makes so much sense now." Jeongin snorts a laugh, dorky and beloved. He points a long, accusatory finger. "You don't just like it. Me crying turns you on!"
Hyunjin chances a grin, and spreads his hands wide. "Guilty."
One more unattractive (but so attractive) laugh, and Jeongin says "You're such a weirdo, hyung! What the heck?!"
Hyunjin will not take this slander lying down. "I'm not weird! I just love you too much!" He shouts, stepping forward and wrapping Jeongin up in his arms again. "You are so pretty when you cry, Iyennie! And when you let go and sob?" His eyes roll back into his head, replaying all the times he's been able to see and hear and feel that. Especially lately, when they've been naked and intertwined. "You're like an angel or a devil or—or—I don't know! I just love seeing you all messy and emotional!"
Jeongin grins, all mischief and sass. "Was that supposed to prove that you're not weird? Fail, hyung."
A fire starts in the pit of Hyunjin's stomach. Again. Without tears. God, he loves this dongsaeng.
With a groan, Hyunjin dives in and kisses the smirk off his lips, sucking and licking at him. Jeongin's body is beautifully pliant as he kisses back.
"So you love me so much that you're a freak, hmm?" Jeongin breathes hotly against his lips. His tone is teasing. "Do you want to show me? Right now?"
The words are a hook behind Hyunjin's navel, yanking him forward. So what if Jeongin's not crying right now? It's not like that's the only time he wants to get into his pants.
"Yes," Hyunjin groans, and pushes Jeongin back, back, back, until they are falling onto the hotel bed. "Yes, let me show you," he moans, panting as he separates their lips, all but ripping Jeongin's clothes off.
(But not actually ripping. Jeongin likes his clothes too much for Hyunjin to destroy them in the heat of the moment. He's a good boyfriend like that.)
Naked, golden Jeongin grins up at him from the white hotel comforter. As Hyunjin rises to his knees to struggle with his own clothes, Jeongin props himself up on his elbows. "I assume you have lube in your suitcase?"
"Of course I do," Hyunjin says, mildly affronted. He shoves his pants and boxers down impatiently, and tries to take them off the rest of the way while hopping over to his suitcase to get their favorite lube. The fabric tangles around his ankles and he falls heavily to his knees right next to his suitcase.
Jeongin's honking laugh behind him makes him smile. The fact that Jeongin doesn't come to help him makes him smile even more. His other half has come a long way from the boy who hated to accept help.
Now, as Hyunjin scampers back to the bed—naked and lube in hand—Jeongin lounges like the work of art he is, expecting nothing less than to be worshipped. As it should be.
The bed dips as Hyunjin crawls onto it, laying alongside Jeongin and dipping between his open arms to kiss him hard and long. Jeongin's sexy hands slide up Hyunjin's naked back, holding him close.
"I'm going to make love to you," Hyunjin whispers hoarsely into the plush cavern of Jeongin's mouth. The desperate fire inside him has mellowed into a smolder.
Jeongin giggles. "You're so sappy."
"Yeah," Hyunjin agrees, lubing up his fingers and reaching down to circle Jeongin's rim. Jeongin spreads his legs indulgently.
Jeongin has gotten so good at relaxing his muscles, though he's only capable of full-body relaxation. So his kisses get sloppier and sloppier as Hyunjin works one, then two fingers in quickly.
"My baby lets me in so well," Hyunjin croons into his slack mouth, then slides down his body, dragging his warm, swollen lips over Jeongin's sharp clavicle, his firm pecs, the shadows of his abs.
"Ngg," Jeongin sighs, pliant as Hyunjin hooks his elbow around one of Jeongin's legs and lifts it up. Jeongin twists beautifully, hips sideways while his back stays flat on the mattress.
As he does almost every time he has sex, Hyunjin thanks his genetics for his slim dick as it slides so easily into Jeongin's hole.
Jeongin breathes out a gasping sigh, mirrored by Hyunjin's moan as he hitches Jeongin's leg higher, calf-to-shoulder.
"So good, Iyen-ah." Hyunjin thrusts shallowly, working his way in with just a few pumps until he's sheathed all the way to his base.
"Hyung-nim," Jeongin croaks, grabbing at the white comforter, eyes slit open and already hazy as he looks at Hyunjin. "Go, go, go!"
Hyunjin smiles and spreads his knees a little more, adjusting the angle and clinging to Jeongin's lifted thigh. When it all feels right, he tenses his glutes and starts quickly rolling into Jeongin, gaze focused on his boyfriend.
"Yes, right there," Jeongin groans, eyes fluttering shut. His black, gel-encrusted hair shakes with every thrust, and Hyunjin reads the gradual slackening of his face as confirmation that he's doing well.
He knows the curve in his dick rubs Jeongin just right in this position, and it's his privledge to bring his baby the most pleasure he can. He's come to learn that means no overstimulation, no back-to-back orgasms, and a heap of praise.
But. He really wants to see Jeongin cry again.
He blows out a breath, feeling how his muscles warm with effort and how the wet slide against his dick feels like heaven. "I love you so much," he pants, fingers gripping Jeongin's thigh. "You're doing so well for me. Did so well on stage. So beautiful. So talented. So sexy."
Waist so lean and taut all twisted like this, Jeongin throws his head back and tries to arch, moaning at the praise. His hard cock shines, dripping, and his fingers turn red as they twist into the comforter.
"I'm so lucky I get to have you. No one else gets to know how perfect you are," Hyunjin continues, sweat rolling down his forehead. Jeongin's hole is nice and tight around him, the pressure and the heat making the pleasure inside him grow and grow.
Jeongin starts to buck his hips, and Hyunjin asks, "You close, baby?"
"Close!" whimpers Jeongin, a pink flush spreading along his chest and neck. "Almost!" He's so beautiful, so cute as he writhes weakly, eyes squeezed shut.
Hyunjin pulls out.
Jeongin's eyes fly open. "Hyung!" His mouth gapes as he stares at Hyunjin affrontedly, Hyunjin laying his leg down onto the bed. "Wha—Why?!"
Dick throbbing, Hyunjin pushes Jeongin's knees to his chest and grinds against his hole, not slipping in. "That was so fast, love. I'm not nearly done with you yet."
"But—" Jeongin reaches for him, and Hyunjin catches his wrists and pins them to the bed by Jeongin's head, grinding sloppily against his hole.
Before his very eyes, Jeongin's nose pinkens and a glimmer of tears appear in his eyes.
Yes yes yes!
They've both said that edging is always on the table, so Hyunjin feels no guilt in pressing Jeongin into the mattress harder, riling him up and denying him like this. He watches greedily as Jeongin's arm muscles flex; Hyunjin can only pin him like this because gravity is on his side.
Jeongin's abs stand out in stark relief as he tries to nudge his hips up into Hyunjin from his cramped position.
"How are you feeling now, baby bread?" Hyunjin croons.
"Horny!" Jeongin practically shouts, tears thickening in his eyes. They tremble, and Hyunjin wants them to spill. "Please, hyung, put it in! I'm— I need—"
He writhes, and Hyunjin grins like a shark. "Feel it. Feel it all, baby. You want it so bad, you need it. It's too much. You're going to explode if you don't get it. But you can't do anything to get it. You just have to wait for me."
The tears escape. Jeongin's lips tremble, and a spine-tingling, high-pitched sob echoes between them. It goes straight to Hyunjin's dick, and he gives his baby the right reward.
Quicker than thought, Hyunjin angles his hips to slide his dick right back into Jeongin, driving inside with a single thrust. Jeongin cries out, wrists twisting beneath Hyunjin's palms as the rest of him goes slack.
"Good boy," Hyunjin moans, muscles on fire as he drills into him mercilessly. Hopefully the 0-100 will overwhelm Jeongin. "Good boy, crying for hyung. Keep crying. Keep feeling it."
Jeongin is past words, tears streaming down his face nonstop, quiet little high-pitched sobs jerking his chest and throat. Every hitch of his chest makes his hole clench on Hyunjin's dick, making him see stars.
"So pretty," Hyunjin breathes, looming over him, folding him in half. Sweet insanity spreads through him at the sight of his boyfriend's red, wet face. His crumpled brow, his down-turned lips: Jeongin's raw emotion, the utter lack of composure feeds the knot of arousal in Hyunjin's dick like an all-you-can-eat buffet.
He pounds into Jeongin relentlessly, each ruthless slide forward ending in a jolt of flesh-on-flesh. He wishes he could get deeper, could slide so far that he and Jeongin become one. Jeongin's dick and balls are trapped between them, warm and velvety where they rub against Hyunjin's lower stomach.
Jeongin stares up at him through puffy red eyes and bites his bottom lip, sobs still squeaking past it. His face changes, screws up, eyes pleading, nostrils flaring.
He eyes Jeongin's teeth denting his lip. "You gonna come, my baby?" Hyunjin pants. His own orgasm feels close, rising up like the tide.
At Jeongin's fearful nod, Hyunjin releases one of his wrists so he can press his forearm to Jeongin's mouth. "Go ahead. Hyung won't stop you this time."
That's all it takes. Jeongin's eyes squeeze shut, more tears spilling over, and he clamps his pretty teeth down on the meat of Hyunjin's forearm. A high keen shakes the air around them.
"Good boy, good boy, good boy," Hyunjin chants, chasing his own high with rapid-fire thrusts. Jeongin's teeth digging into his skin hurts, the pain telling him just how good Jeongin feels. He's learned that the harder the bite, the better the orgasm.
Ecstasy blasts through him, and Hyunjin grinds his pulsing cock into Jeongin, gasping for breath as he stares down at his tear-streaked face. The sight makes his orgasm linger, so many waves of sharp pleasure tearing through him that the edges of his vision darken.
They stay frozen, tense and tangled for a minute, feeling the shockwaves of pleasure peter out. Then Jeongin releases Hyunjin's arm, and Hyunjin shifts back to allow Jeongin to straighten his legs.
Chests rising and falling rapidly, they smile tiredly at each other, both gleaming with sweat.
Jeongin clears his throat and keeps eye-contact even as his blush deepens (Hyunjin is proud of him.) "Concert filth plus sex filth. I hope the shower here works well."
Hyunjin nuzzles Jeongin's sweaty neck, darting his tongue out to taste him. "Mmm. Salted bread."
Jeongin smacks his head but pulls him closer. "Freaky hyung."
"I love you."
"Love you, too."
Late Spring 2024
The stylists are trying to kill Hyunjin.
Again.
Here they are, filming the music video for Mountains, and not only does Jeongin have long ginger hair (his own choice) but the make-up they've used transforms him into even more of Hyunjin's wet dream than usual.
Red under eyes, pink lips, a blue jewel in the center of his lower lip, colored contacts (he can take or leave those, actually.) Something about the make-up is really doing it for him.
They've made Jeongin look like he's just finished sobbing his eyes out, but gentled and smoothed it out.
All of that feels like a targeted (and semi-welcome) attack on Hyunjin's psyche. He would be happy trailing after Jeongin all shoot, pining like the pathetic yearner he is, if not for the jerk of a director.
It's one of Jeongin's solo shots, and he can't seem to get the take right.
"A little bolder, I.N-ssi."
"No, give me more."
"You missed a line there. Let's go again."
"Keep the energy up!"
Hyunjin crosses his arms and fights the urge to smack the director upside the head, the man's calm and cheery voice notwithstanding. Jeongin tries and tries, eager to please as always, but he can't seem to satisfy the director. Hyunjin watches as his face between takes falls farther and farther into anxiety, the change to "on" becoming more and more dramatic.
Hyunjin's knuckles hurt with how hard he's clenching them by the time the director finally calls, "Cut! I think we got it. I.N.-ssi, you're done. Let's get it set up for Bang Chan's shot now. Someone go get him."
Jeongin bows wordlessly to the director and hightails it out of the shooting location.
Hyunjin is hot on his heels, weaving through staff and props, all the way out of the huge warehouse studio and into the mid-afternoon sun. Once outside, Jeongin pauses, shoulders rising and falling rapidly, head tipped up to the sky. Birdsong fills the air.
Hyunjin slides around to his side. Jeongin startles when he comes into view.
"Ah. Hyung." His voice warbles, and he blinks rapidly.
Hyunjin grabs his wrist. "Follow me." If his baby needs to cry, he'll find him a place to cry.
Gravel and dirt crunch under their feet as Hyunjin guides them to one of the many trailers that dot the area. Up the steps and inside, Hyunjin locks the door behind them. It's a dressing trailer, filled with racks of clothes on one wall and make-up chairs and mirrors all along the other wall.
He nudges Jeongin farther in, then spins him around to face him. "That director was way too harsh. You were great, my Iyen-ah."
That's all it takes for Jeongin to burst into tears. "I t-tried s-so hard!"
"Oh, baby. I know," Hyunjin says, indulging himself for a few moments in looking before he hugs Jeongin tightly and lets him sob into his shoulder. "There you go. Let it out." Neither of them have to be on camera any time soon. He made sure to look at both their schedules this morning.
Jeongin shakes against him, high-pitched sobs and whimpers sweetening the air between them. He's hot, and dampness spreads to Hyunjin's neck with every wet shudder.
He loves it. Each breath and twitch from Jeongin feeds his hunger, makes the desire inside him grow.
And this time, he's prepared.
Gently, he detaches Jeongin from him and spins him around, slotting himself against Jeongin's back. He rocks forward enough for his sobbing boyfriend to feel his erection against him. They face a mirror.
Jeongin tries to bury his face in his hands and Hyunjin gently pulls them back down. Jeongin lets him, sobbing openly, leaning back and letting go just like Hyunjin wants.
"Remember how you figured out how much I love seeing you cry?" He fans his words in a hot breath over Jeongin's ear, watching Jeongin's gorgeous sobbing face.
"Um." Jeongin blinks rapidly, sobs slowing. He doesn't say anything else, though.
Hyunjin wraps an arm around Jeongin's waist, and uses his other hand to press firmly between Jeongin's shoulder blades.
He bends, teary eyes wide and chest hiccupping.
Hyunjin keeps pushing until Jeongin's elbows rest on the vanity table, bright light-bulbs framing the square mirror right in front of them.
"You couldn't do well for that director just now," Hyunjin says. He catches his own crazed face in the mirror. It gets more crazed as Jeongin's face crumples with the reminder, fresh tears streaming down his delicious cheekbones.
"So how about—" Hyunjin hooks his fingers in Jeongin's waistband and pulls his baggy pants down, letting them fall to the floor. "—I give you a chance to do well for me? Hm?"
Jeongin sniffles, staring at him in the mirror. He's such a mess, so wrecked already. Hyunjin's dick is titanium, volcanic fire swirling in his gut.
"Do you want to be good for hyung?" He runs his fingers along the skin below Jeongin's clinging underwear, savoring his answering shiver.
Jeongin wipes absently at his running nose. "Do you even have lube?" he croaks.
Giddy bubbles fizz in Hyunjin's bloodstream. "I do, indeed!" He unbuckles his own pants and lets them fall. His tight black boxer-briefs have a small pocket sewn into the leg, and he scoops the packet of lube out of it, waving it in the light, grin manic.
Jeongin snorts through his tears, an adorable, wet noise. "Do you carry that around?"
Hyunjin nods eagerly, rubbing and groping one of Jeongin's clothed asscheeks. "Special-ordered the underwear so I could always be ready." In their line of work, often the only piece of clothing he wears all day are his underwear, what with costume changes and everything. It was the only way he could be sure he has the necessary lube to make love to Jeongin whenever the opportunity arises. He's been carrying around this particular lube packet for three weeks.
Jeongin bites his lip and tracks his eyes from Hyunjin's face to the packet and down to where Hyunjin's erection is straining at his underwear. His voice is tiny when he says. "Remind me that I'm good, hyung-nim."
Arousal surges through Hyunjin, a shot of energy stronger than any coffee. He groans and shoves both their underwear down, then rips the packet open and carefully coats his fingers.
"Keep crying for me, baby," Hyunjin pants, prodding at Jeongin's hole with a little too much force. His mouth is dry with how he's sucking in air.
With two fingers shoved unceremoniously inside, Jeongin whimpers, that high pitch that makes Hyunjin delirious. His cock throbs with need, and he pulls his fingers out just to put more lube on them, then jabs them inside again, searching for Jeongin's prostate.
He glances up at the mirror when he finds it, rubbing harshly and watching hungrily as Jeongin's face grows redder, eyelashes wet with tears.
"That's it, baby. Does it feel good?"
"I don't know!" Jeongin wails, trying to kick his pants off his ankles, squirming on Hyunjin's fingers like he can't decide if he wants more or less.
"Aw, so confusing. All you can do is cry about it, right?" Hyunjin doesn't know what he's saying at this point. His head feels light, eyes stinging because he's not blinking, too invested in drinking in every grimace Jeongin makes.
Jeongin finally frees one of his feet and widens his stance, arching his hips up and dropping his head into his forearms.
Hyunjin yanks his fingers out of him and slicks up his cock with the rest of the lube from the packet. It falls to the floor as he grabs Jeongin's hips with both hands and spears himself inside. "Let me see your face, honey. Let me see you fall apart."
Jeongin chokes out a moan and complies, lifting his heavy head. Wet ginger hair sticks to his teary eyes, the blue jewel on his lower lip catching the light as he trembles. The sight is like an electrical shock.
"Good job, Iyennie," he breathes, every tiny hair on his skin lifting with the velvet heat encasing his dick. Hyunjin slides in and out slowly, keeping himself in check for now. "You are exactly what I need. What I want."
The sweet words make more tears fall, and Jeongin struggles to hold Hyunjin's intense gaze in the mirror.
Hyunjin feels insane. Jeongin's skin beneath his hands is warm and silky, the bones and muscles firm, even as Jeongin stays so pliant for him. Hungrily, he pushes Jeongin's shirt up, exposing the beautiful planes of his back. Hyunjin's eyes dip down there and he groans.
"God, baby. You're so hot. You work so hard, and you're so gorgeous." The swell of his back muscles on either side of his spine, the dimples in his lower back, his narrow waist curving out where it meets his meaty ass: it's the most amazing sight.
Jeongin whimpers again and drops his head, forehead resting on his forearms.
Unacceptable. Hyunjin reaches up, grasping the hair at the back of Jeongin's head. He grabs as much as possible, because he doesn't want to hurt his baby's sensitive scalp. No, he just needs a handle for this.
"I told you to let me see your face." Hyunjin's tone is a hungry whine as he pulls Jeongin's head up. "But if that's too hard, hyung can do it for you."
Jeongin gasps and starts sobbing harder when Hyunjin abandons his measured pace starts ramming into him as hard and fast as he wants. The impact of his hips against Jeongin's ass is so hard that there's an audible slap slap slap filling the trailer air. Their scrotums hang low in the heat, brushing against each other every few thrusts. Jeongin's back arches beautifully, muscles twitching.
With every powerful thrust, little flecks of tears fly off Jeongin's face to speckle the mirror. Hyunjin pounds him harder, determined to make those tears paint the mirror even more.
"Hyu-ung!" Jeongin weeps, face and neck red, shining with tears and snot and sweat. His body jerks against the table, limp as he cries. "Hyung-nim!"
"Hyung's here, Iyen-ah," Hyunjin gasps.
"Hyung loves you." His shoulder burns from holding up Jeongin's head.
"Hyung thinks you're a good boy." Pleasure coalesces at the base of his dick.
"So pretty when you let yourself feel everything." He can't take his eyes off Jeongin's wrecked face, ears ringing with his ragged sobs.
Hyunjin is just about to explode. "Come, my sweet."
"N-need—" Jeongin flops his hand backwards, only able to get out that one word.
Hyunjin immediatly shoots his hand down, around Jeongin's hip to grab at his dick. With the hold on his hair and his cock in his ass, it means he pulls Jeongin into a deeper arch.
"Aah!" Jeongin cries, his neck pulled back and exposed. As soon as Hyunjin's hand wraps around Jeongin's blazing cock, Jeongin seizes. He pitches his hips back in little thrusts, grinding on Hyunjin's dick in quick little motions that make Hyunjin moan as his own orgasm overtakes him.
His vision whites out, a wildfire of pleasure ravaging him from toe to the top of his spine. His mouth opens wide, pressing lips and tongue to the hot, salty skin of Jeongin's back. It's amazing. Transformative. He swears it re-writes his very DNA, coding it with traces of his Jeongin.
"Hyung," Jeongin croaks, his cock no longer pulsing in Hyunjin's palm. "Hair."
In his ecstasy, Hyunjin realizes his arm tensed, bicep bulging and yanking way too hard on his baby's head. "Sorry," he pants, and releases his aching fingers from the ginger strands.
Jeongin slumps forward immediately, breathing hard. Hyunjin feels his lungs through his cheek and lips still pressed to his back. So alive. So precious.
His own erection softens, and he runs his hands up and down Jeongin's back as he slides out.
Jeongin starts crying again, little hitches of his shoulders giving him away.
"Ah, baby," Hyunjin croons. He's a little dizzy from coming so hard, not ready to get it up again by any means. But he sits his bare ass in a nearby make-up chair and drags Jeongin over to sit on his lap, not minding the bit of wetness smearing on his thighs.
"Y-you l-love me s-so m-m-much," Jeongin stutters through his tears, curling in on him. He always makes himself so small in Hyunjin's arms.
Hyunjin nuzzles the top of his head. "Of course. You're mine."
Jeongin's noises get louder for a moment—a laugh. He's laugh-crying. It's so adorable, Hyunjin wants to squeeze him until he pops.
Jeongin gulps in heaving breaths, blowing them out as he tries to calm down.
Hyunjin allows it this time, rubbing his back and stroking his hair away from his sticky face.
"Yeah," Jeongin says, voice incredibly low and gravelly. "And you're mine."
Hyunjin's heart flops in his chest, and he holds Jeongin tighter. He's so damn happy. "So. You feel good?"
"Yeah." Then Jeongin snorts and punches Hyunjin's shoulder weakly. "Don't pretend you did all that for me, though. Dacryphilia freak."
Hyunjin looks down at him in surprise. "You learned the word?"
Jeongin nods, amusement bright in his damp eyes. "I figured I should, since my boyfriend is so into it."
Hyunjin wiggles in glee and dips down to capture Jeongin's lips in his own. They're slimy and warm and perfect.
Just like his Jeonginnie.
(Hyunjin cleans Jeongin's cum off the underside of the vanity table while Jeongin splashes water on his face and tries to make it look less like he's been fucked to tears. "I can't believe I have to film like this," he grumbles, glaring at Hyunjin. "This is your fault."
Hyunjin smiles. "Sorry, not sorry."
Jeongin huffs and Hyunjin volunteers to grab a make-up noona. "Though, the look they did on you was kind of tearful anyway. So, really, you should blame them for making me want you so bad."
Jeongin levels him with a flat look. "Hyung. Be real. You want me so bad literally all the time. No matter what I look like."
Hyunjin swoops in and kisses him again. "Sorry, not sorry.")
December 2024
In a fit of inspiration, Hyunjin buzzes his hair off. Then bleaches it. Then walks over to Jeongin and Chan's house to give his boyfriend the first view of his new look. Changbin is over at Seunglix's, pining pathetically, no doubt.
Changbin needs to make a move already. Seriously. What is he waiting for, anyway? He's got the successful relationship examples of Minsung and Hyunjin and Jeongin, for crying out loud.
It took a while to buzz and bleach his hair, and it is now a little after midnight. Heart fluttering with nerves, Hyunjin inputs the door code and lets himself into the apartment Stay have sweetly dubbed the Dimple Dorm. The first thing he sees is a mostly naked man.
Typical. (Stay should have named it the Shirtless Shack.)
Unfortunately, it's not his favorite naked man.
Chan turns from his spot in the kitchen, a single light gilding the grooves of his shoulders, back, and thighs. Fear splashes across his face, quickly followed by hard-eyed determination, and finally slack-jawed wonderment.
"Hyunjin-ah?"
"Hello! Yes, it's me!" Hyunjin says with a grin, sauntering forward. His head feels light. It's so fresh and freeing not feeling any hair tickling his face or ears or neck. This might be the best hair decision he's made.
Chan gapes like a fish. "You—when—why?" When Hyunjin gets within touching distance, Chan's hand rises like he's being hypnotized.
Hyunjin ducks down obligingly. "Just now. I felt like it. Does it look good?"
Chan's hand is gentle as he rubs over the short hairs. It's a nice sensation. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, you look good." He laughs. "The managers are going to freak out."
Hyunjin shrugs. "Maybe. I don't care."
Chan steps back, absently kneading at one of his own pecs as he keeps staring at Hyunjin's head. "It's really cool. Edgy. Oh!" He gasps and grabs Hyunjin's shoulders. "It's perfect for Escape! You are going to make the MV so much better with this look!"
Hyunjin giggles and pats Chan's arm. He hadn't thought of that, but Chan's right. What a nice bonus.
"Thanks, hyung. Is Jeonginnie awake? I want to show him."
Chan nods. "I heard him yelling just a few minutes ago. I think he's gaming."
Hyunjin drops a kiss into Chan's curls just to see him smile bashfully and leaves him behind. Prowling to Jeongin's room takes no time at all, and soon he's easing the door open quietly, eyes adjusting to the dimness of the room.
There's his favorite man, also half naked. Jeongin sits shirtless in his gaming chair facing away from the door, bulky headphones mashing his shaggy black hair to his head. The monitor lights his face in ever-shifting colors, highlighting the one cheekbone in Hyunjin's view and the curve of his nose and kissable lips.
Hyunjin is in love.
Jeongin's long fingers grip the mouse and tap the keys as he hunches forward and shouts into his mic.
"Cover me! Cover me!"
"Behind that tree! Watch out!"
Hyunjin doesn't know what he's playing, but he quietly walks up behind him and stands still until the match or whatever ends a few minutes later.
It's really hard to stand still and not slide his fingers all over the naked skin of Jeongin's back. But he waits like a good boyfriend.
When Jeongin takes his hands off the controls to stretch his arms above his head, back arching and shoulders bunching deliciously, Hyunjin makes his move.
He steps to the side of Jeongin's chair and bends forward to get into his peripheral view, grinning.
"Ah!" Jeongin yelps, jerking away from him. Then he yelps again and bolts up out of his chair, careening away from Hyunjin, stumbling over his feet, and landing hard on his ass on the floor.
Hyunjin laughs, fast and loud, as Jeongin stares up at him with his mouth agape.
He tears off his headphones and shouts, "Hyung-nim! I thought you were a stranger! What the hell?!"
Hyunjin walks towards him and extends a hand, hoisting Jeongin to his feet. "Surprise! Do you like it?" He's heart beats rapidly, his whole being focused on Jeongin's reaction. All of this won't be worth it if Jeongin doesn't approve.
Jeongin rubs his eyes (cute) and fiddles with a nearby lamp to turn it on, bathing them both in buttery light. Hyunjin watches his pupils shrink as he stares at him, then reaches up to touch.
"Ooh. Yeah, I like it," Jeongin says, rubbing briskly. "I like it a lot."
Fireworks explode in Hyunjin's heart. Bent over slightly, Hyunjin has an eyeful of Jeongin's naked pecs. He's filled out even more in the past year, so much so that it's not just "filling out." No. His tits are enormous.
Hyunjin gropes them with both hands while Jeongin continues to rub his head. A truly win-win situation.
"Hmm…I think I need to check that it's really you, though," Jeongin says.
"What—"
His grip on Hyunjin's head suddenly tightens, tilting him up. Jeongin's lips find his own, soft and gentle, and Hyunjin melts into him.
"Mm. Feels like you," Jeongin breathes. He slips his sinfully long tongue in, tracing the silky inner parts of Hyunjin's lips. "Tastes like you, too."
Hyunjin shivers, fingers digging into Jeongin's chest helplessly. Yeah. This haircut was definitely his best decision ever.
They stumble to the bed, Hyunjin sucking greedily at Jeongin's mouth as they try to clamber onto the mattress without breaking the kiss. It doesn't quite work, and Jeongin starts laughing when Hyunjin staggers and his lips smear spit all over Jeongin's chin.
Hyunjin giggles and goes to reconnect their lips, but Jeongin dodges, shoulder coming up like a barrier.
Too bad. Hyunjin pushes him flat on the mattress and grabs his face in his hands, diving in to kiss him. Jeongin squeaks, and Hyunjin feels his smile against his own lips. His Iyennie doesn't mind a little manhandling.
They make out for a while, and each slide of lips and tongue, each heated breath stokes the desire in Hyunjin's groin.
"Can I stay over tonight?" Mumbled against Jeongin's lips.
It's a miracle he understands. "Yeah. But. We have to sleep soon."
"Why?" Hyunjin whines, grinding his erection into Jeongin's hip. Sleeping is boring. Sleeping is the last thing on his mind. He's got a fresh new look that his boyfriend likes: he could scale a mountain right now.
Jeongin jerks his head to the side so he can inhale. "I've got an early vocal practice tomorrow."
"Noooo," Hyunjin groans, dropping his head into Jeongin's neck. Jeongin squirms and tries to shrug him off, and Hyunjin grinds his buzzcut into Jeongin's neck harder just for fun. He bets it feels wild."Why would you do that?"
"I didn't know you'd come over tonight, hyung," Jeongin says, laughing and writhing beneath him, which only serves to make Hyunjin want him more. All that friction and motion feels good.
"You should have known," Hyunjin wails, lifting himself up to hover over him. "You should plan everything around me."
Jeongin's wide smile stays, even as he cocks an unimpressed eyebrow, forehead wrinkling. God, he's so beautiful, hair splayed like this over his white pillow. Hyunjin momentarily forgets what he just said.
"How can I plan anything when you are so spontaneous? Anti-plan-ssi? Dopamine addict-ssi?"
"Then you must be dopamine," Hyunjin mutters, diving back down to devour his mouth. He'll never get enough of this. Not when his lips are numb(er), not when his sense of taste is gone, not ever.
He jolts, moaning into Jeongin's welcoming mouth when he feels long fingers wrap around his dick over his pants. "Yeni~" he whines, desperate.
Jeongin tsks. "I'll be generous and help you sleep." In the next moment, Jeongin wraps an arm around Hyunjin's waist and flips them.
A thrill races through Hyunjin, leaving goosebumps along his nape. Whatever Jeongin has planned, he supports fully.
He keeps his gaze locked on Jeongin's dark, foxy eyes as Jeongin slides down his body and unceremoniously pulls Hyunjin's pants down enough to free his cock. He licks his lips.
"You're really fucking hot with the buzzcut, hyung." Hyunjin's heart freezes in his chest for a single moment, then lurches to life when Jeongin immediately swallows his length down to the hilt.
"Oh my God," Hyunjin chokes out, falling limp on the mattress. He has to squeeze his eyes shut against the sheer overwhelming sensation. Hot and wet and soft, Jeongin's mouth is big, something that he never quite realizes when they kiss, but always remembers in moments like these.
Jeongin takes him like it's nothing, not with how Hyunjin isn't the girthiest. He's already got him in his throat, and the slide of his head against those smooth walls ramps up Hyunjin's arousal faster than a bullet train.
"Baby. S-slow down." Hyunjin paws weakly at his hair.
Jeongin does not slow down, bobbing his head and caressing Hyunjin's shaft with his tongue. He peeks up through his bangs with an almost predatory gaze that drives Hyunjin wild, naked shoulders and collarbones the picture of seduction. A brat. Jeongin is a brat.
However, Hyunjin is no brat tamer. Maybe in another universe, with another person or another version of Jeongin (more likely. If Jeongin is around, how could Hyunjin ever fall for someone else?) Hyunjin would have fun taming a brat. But in this one, when Jeongin gets a stubborn idea into his head, Hyunjin is helpless against him.
"C-close, Yeni," Hyunjin stutters out, fisting his hands at his sides, forcing his hips not to thrust. Pleasure races up and down his spine, seeking an outlet. It builds in speed and intensity until Hyunjin can't help it: one hand shoots out to push the crown of Jeongin's head down, keeping him still as he spills into his throat.
Jeongin swallows around him calmly. Throat goat, indeed.
When his orgasm fades, Hyunjin pets Jeongin's soft hair a few times before his hand slides limply to the bed. Jeongin pulls off and sticks his unfairly long tongue out. It's clean.
Hyunjin groans and makes grabby hands at him. "You're a menace."
Jeongin laughs, pulling Hyunjin's pants up on his way to crawl up the bed. "Me? No way. I'm an angel."
Hyunjin exhales heavily, wrapping his arms around Jeongin as his boyfriend gets comfortable, pillowing his head on Hyunjin's shoulder. He yawns, so wide his jaw cracks. How such a sinful mouth can suddenly be adorable like that is one of the great mysteries of the universe.
"Mm. Angel Yeni," Hyunjin slurs, running his hands up and down Jeongin's naked back. Tiredness pulls at his bones, filling the places his orgasm scoured clean. A solid plan from his brilliant baby bread.
Jeongin turns and places a sweet kiss to Hyunjin's neck, then curls an arm to rub at his head again. "Go to sleep, jagi."
"Don't you want me to do you?" He shifts his leg to press against Jeongin's crotch. He's barely hard.
"Nah. You can do that tomorrow if you want."
" 'f course I wan'" Hyunjin says, eyes slipping closed. He feels a blanket pulled up over him. Feels Jeongin's cheek dig into his shoulder.
"Night, Hyunjin-hyung. Love you."
"Love you, too." Sleep overtakes him, and he dreams of wicked foxes and sweet bread.
The next morning, Jeongin's alarm goes off long before Hyunjin is ready to be awake. He groans and loosens his hold when he feels Jeongin shift—hopefully to turn off the terrible noise.
The alarm stops and Jeongin settles back into the bed, but in a slightly different position. Hyunjin wiggles to get comfortable again, slinging a leg over Jeongin's hips and squirming his arms to settle properly around broad chest and shoulders.
"Hyunnie," Jeongin croons into Hyunjin's ear. "You've got to let me go."
Hyunjin holds him tighter, dragging his face along the smooth skin of Jeongin's shoulder. "Don't wanna."
A palm rubbing along his scalp. "I don't want to make my vocal teacher wait."
Hyunjin grumbles and tilts his head up with pursed lips, eyes still tightly shut. Sleep-warm lips, slightly chapped, meet his indulgently.
"Okay," Hyunjin croaks, squinting his eyes open. Jeongin is a smiling blur to his gummy eyes. "Come back here after. We can have lunch together."
"You got it, jagi. And then we can go to dance practice together," Jeongin says smoothly, his voice carrying that unique timbre that sends shivers down Hyunjin's spine. What does he even need vocal practice for? He already sounds like a siren. The mythical fish-seductress kind of siren. Not the annoying emergency vehicle sound.
Hyunjin drifts back to sleep, distantly registering the sounds of Jeongin getting ready. The feeling of lips against his temple is the one thing that penetrates his sleepy mind, and he smiles into the pillow, falling back asleep when Jeongin shuts the bedroom door behind him.
Some time later, Hyunjin actually awakes. The apartment is dead silent, and he sits up with a yawn, scrubbing at his face out of habit. His fingertips meet the stiff hairs of his head, and he freezes in momentary confusion.
Right. His buzzcut. That Jeongin likes.
A giddy grin overtakes his sleepy face, and Hyunjin throws off the blankets to get up. He stumbles around the room searching for his phone, which he realizes too late was placed thoughtfully on the bedside table. Certainly not by him.
His heart warms again, blinking the last of the sleep from his eyes and peering at the time. It's a little before 10 AM.
What were the plans for today, again? Jeongin's at vocal practice, and he's going to come back here for lunch. Yeah.
Hyunjin shuffles out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. He peers into the fridge and sees all of Chan's leftovers. None of them speak to him. There's not a single fruit in the house either.
Hyunjin should have a special dish waiting for Jeongin when he gets home. Something like…cream-filled bread. Suddenly, Hyunjin is dying to eat cream-filled bread for breakfast. With a fruit smoothie on the side. Yes. And he can bring back a whole box of cream bread for Jeongin and anyone else who wants one.
A smirk lifts one side of Hyunjin's face. Cream-filled bread for his baby bread who loves being filled with cream. Heh heh.
Hyunjin chews his lip and closes the fridge door, standing straight. His absolute favorite bakery-cafe (favorite because it has the exact combo of cream bread and smoothie) is a little more than an hour away by subway.
He turns, and catches a glimpse of his reflection in one of the mirrors Chan has decorated the apartment with.
Just like Chan and Jeongin, he does a double-take. He looks really different.
Fans don't know what he looks like right now, making now the perfect time to pretend he's not an idol and travel the city fearlessly. He's sure any Stay who spot him will doubt that it's really him.
His stomach grumbles again, and he downs a glass of water before hurriedly gathering his phone and wallet. There's no time to waste if he wants to make it back in time for lunch!
He dons his puffer coat, snagging one of Jeongin's scarves hanging by the front door and wrapping it around his long neck before stepping outside. Boots probably would be better, but all he's got is his trainers that he walked here in last night.
Hyunjin cheerfully walks maskless to the nearest subway station and rides the metro to the cafe. He scrolls through his phone on the ride, looking up every time someone new gets in the car. No one seems to recognize him, and he holds his cackle in by the skin of his teeth.
Sometimes his own genius impresses him.
When the subway zooms deep underground into a no-service zone, he takes a few selfies that he may or may not eventually share with Stay. He debates sending one to Jeongin when he gets back into service, but decides not to. Let Jeongin believe he's lounging in bed all morning. He wants the bread to be a surprise for him. After all, his last surprise went over well.
He gets off at the right stop and checks his phone as he walks the few blocks to the bakery. It's 11:14. Maybe he's cutting it close, but lunchtime can be anywhere between 12 and 2, right? Jeongin typically eats later anyway.
It'll be worth it, he thinks firmly as he pushes the bakery door open and gets in the short line. These pastries are also one of Jeongin's favorites. They've had two dates right here in this bakery. He's going to be so touched that Hyunjin went all the way here to get them.
Hyunjin steps up the front and smiles at the young woman at the cash register. She blushes a little, and Hyunjin should probably tone down the charm, but it's hard when he's just so happy about seeing Jeongin's pleased face later.
"Hi, can I have a strawberry smoothie and a box of cream-filled bread?"
She nods. "Of course. Would you like a 4-piece, 8-piece, or 12-piece box?"
Hyunjin chews on his lip. They are about to do some comeback shoots, so half the members are on diets. He's supposed to be on a diet, too, but he's past the point of caring about that. He always dances hard enough that he never gains too much anyway.
Still, he'd hate to bring some to practice this evening and not have enough to share.
Right. They have dance practice later today. He almost forgot.
"12 please. Make 6 the plain cream and then the other 6 an assortment of whatever other flavors you have, if that's okay."
She nods and rings him up. A few minutes later, he's sucking on his smoothie and dangling a bag from his fingertips, the bottom square from the box inside. The cold air nips at his ears as he walks quickly back to the station, pattering down the steps to get on the next train back.
The doors whoosh behind him, and he settles into a seat. This particular car isn't very full. No one who is standing has to be, and there's at least two empty chairs between everyone sitting down. He notes several halmeonis clustered together with their brightly colored scarves tied over their gray curls, as well as a mother with two young children. There isn't a single man in a suit, though there are a few teenagers, doubtless enjoying their winter break from school.
He checks the time: 11:32. Satisfactory. He'll get back to Innie before 1 pm, leaving plenty of time before they have to go to dance practice.
The strawberry hitting his tongue stops suddenly, and he looks down in dismay at his now-empty drink. Oh, well. Cream bun time!
Hyunjin opens the box just enough to fish out a bun, closing it quickly so the smell doesn't permeate the cabin. It may be a bit rude to eat on the subway like this, but he's hungry. And he'll just have one.
Hyunjin finishes his bun, thinking all the while of his favorite baby bread filled with cream, then plays on his phone.
Suddenly, the lights of the subway flicker. Not too alarming, and Hyunjin wouldn't even notice if it didn't plunge the car into utter darkness for a second.
We must be underground.
Momentum works against them, and the silent car is filled with cries of alarm as the car lurches to a stop. Hyunjin nearly goes flying off his seat, grabbing at a nearby pole for stability. The empty smoothie cup clatters to the floor.
A terrible screech of metal-on-metal sounds, and the lights continue to flicker before going off completely. Darkness, save for the meager glow of several smartphones, descends.
The panicked noise in the car swells accordingly, Hyunjin's own voice contributing.
"What's happening?!"
"Eomma!"
"Are you hurt?!"
Seconds later, emergency lights flicker on, bathing the startled passengers in cool blue.
Hyunjin blinks, pressing his hand to his chest. His heart beats in his throat.
One halmeoni stands up, clutching a pole. The motion draws most eyes to her. "Yeoreobun, Is anyone hurt?"
There's negative mutters from everyone in the train. Hyunjin's eyes are drawn to the mother with her two children. Her arms are wrapped around them protectively. Both cling to her, wide-eyed, though neither seem to be crying. The small one wears cute sprout-patterned overalls and snow-boots, while the slightly bigger one has his white coat unzipped over a robot shirt. They're very cute, and Hyunjin's racing heart softens just looking at them.
The same halmeoni nods and squints out the window into the blackness. "It seems like we've stopped moving."
"Do you think another train can crash into us?" pipes up one of the teenagers, and Hyunjin's blood runs cold.
The intercom crackles to life and Hyunjin whips his gaze up, as if there was anything to see. "Passengers, this is your conductor speaking. Please remain calm. This entire line is experiencing some electrical difficulties. We have been instructed to wait here until the issue is resolved. We are perfectly safe. If anyone is in need of medical attention, locate the nearest emergency phone and notify me. We have limited medical devices in the cabin."
The static sounds, and the communication ends.
The halmeoni leader says, "Well, that answers your crashing question, doesn't it? Nothing is moving on this line. We're safe. We just have to wait."
Hyunijn breathes out a whimper and slumps back into his seat. There will be no headline of "Stray Kids Hyunjin and others killed in freak subway incident." Thank God.
Hyunjin nibbles on his lip. He's never been a fan of waiting, though he's gotten good at it. Besides, how long can it take to get everything up and running again?
He sets his bag of bread on the empty seat next to him and pulls out his phone. Now is probably a good time to tell someone where he is.
Damn it. He stares at the no-service symbol at the top of his phone with a heavy feeling in his gut.
It won't take long. The electricians will get us going in no time. It'll be fine.
His knee bounces. There's really nothing he can do right now but wait. So he settles in for some gaming time, using apps that don't need an internet connection to work. There are very few.
Everyone else seems to have similar ideas, because the passengers quiet down somewhat, phone screens glowing everywhere. The few groups of friends chat quietly among themselves, so it's not a tomb-like silence, which is nice. Hyunjin doesn't know how much time passes because the clock on his phone doesn't appear when the game is up. But after a while, he hears the sweet, high voice of a child.
"Eomma, I'm hungry."
"Me, too!"
"Shh. Let's see what I've got in my bag."
There's some rustling, and Hyunjin is, frankly, bored of his game, so he looks up. The mother is rummaging around in her large bag, and brings out two small packages of something. She opens them and hands one to each of her children.
They devour them at a rate that Jeongin would struggle to compete with.
"I'm still hungry."
"More, please!"
The mother squeezes her eyes shut and sighs. Her hair is pulled back into a ponytail, and when she opens her eyes, she pats the kids consolingly on the back. "Sorry, aegi. That's all I have. We'll eat more when the train takes us home. You can have some water. I've got your drink bottles here." She lifts out a small water bottle and offers it to the older one.
The older child's lower lip trembles as he takes it, while the younger takes a few moments to process what his mother said. He seems to get it because his little eyebrows crash down in bewildered anger. "Hungry now!"
"Minho-ya, do not shout at eomma." Her voice is firm, and Hyunjin is momentarily startled by his hyung's name coming out of her mouth. He shouldn't be, though. Minho is a super common name.
"Yeah. I'm hungry now," adds the older child at a more reasonable tone, kicking his little feet but not sipping on his water.
"Eomma," the younger boy whines loudly, despite his mother's attempts to quiet him. She's obviously frazzled and trying to stay calm.
Hyunjin looks at his bakery bag sitting next to him. It's an easy choice, really.
He scoops it up and crosses the aisle. The little family looks at him as he sits in the seat next to the older boy.
"Hi," he says, smiling. The youngest and the mom pause in their battle of wills, which he takes as a win. "I heard you guys are hungry."
The mother looks mortified, which has Hyunjin rushing to say, "I have some cream-filled buns here. Want some?" The two little boys' eyes light up. The older nods while little Minho just reaches an open hand out.
A thought slams into him. What if these kids are gluten intolerant? or lactose intolerant? He's pretty sure the filling is made with milk. Oh no, he should have asked their mom first! What if they are, and they'll have to decline? It'll be like Hyunjin was dangling something they can't have right in their faces!
He grimaces and makes eye contact with the mom. "Do they have any allergies?"
She shakes her head, face twisted in some complicated emotion. "No, they don't. But I don't want to take your food. They can survive a few hours without snacks. I promise I don't starve them. They're just spoiled."
The older one's face falls, and he slumps into his seat, silent in his despair. Little Minho doesn't seem to understand, as he keeps looking expectantly at Hyunjin, chubby fingers opening and closing. His round cheeks and shiny black bowl cut are adorable.
Hyunjin just smiles. "It's no problem. It's hard to be hungry." Boy, does he know that. "I'm sure its even harder for them. Please. I have plenty."
The mom looks like she's about to fold, and Hyunjin would really like to help these cute kids through a tough time. So he takes the box out of the bag and opens it, showing them all the many buns squished together inside.
"Please, eomma!" The older one says, turning devastating puppy-dog eyes on his mom.
She breathes out a laugh. "Okay. Go ahead, Youngwoo-ya. Just one, though. And say thank you."
"Thank you, samchon!" Youngwoo chirps, flicking his eyes up to Hyunjin's for a split second before focusing on the buns. He plucks one out and bites into it with a single-minded focus.
Even though his insides cringe at being old enough to be called "uncle," Hyunjin can't help but smile at Youngwoo. Then he lifts the box a little towards the mother, encouraging her to pick out one for little Minho.
"Thank you," she says with a little duck of her head, passing a bun to her youngest before setting her hands on his little waist to keep him from falling off his chair.
"You have one, too," Hyunjin says.
"Oh, I couldn't. I'm not hungry."
Hyunjin has heard that enough times to know when it's true and when it's not. And right now, it isn't. He gestures with the box again. It's still so full. "I insist. Please, have one. We don't know how long we'll be here. No need to suffer if we don't have to."
She wavers, eyes flicking between her sons and Hyunjin.
Maybe it will be easier to take from an acquaintance instead of a stranger. "I'm Hyunjin, by the way." His name is also common enough to not automatically out him as an idol.
She caves. "Thank you, Hyunjin-ssi. I'm Jimin," she says with a hesitant smile, taking a bun for herself.
Satisfied, Hyunjin closes it to keep the freshness in (or something) and sets it on the empty seat next to him. Something warm and unusual unfolds in his chest. It's… really nice to help out not as famous idol Hyunjin. These people have no expectations of him, no fantasies. Here he can just be an anonymous do-gooder.
"Aren't you going to have one?" Jimin asks, eyebrows worried.
With a smoothie and a bun in his belly already, Hyunjin truly isn't hungry. But, he can appreciate how awkward it is to eat someone's food while they themselves don't partake.
So he laughs lightly and says, "You're right," before grabbing a bun for himself. He bites into it and is met with a lovely melon flavor.
The kids are quiet as they eat, and Hyunjin glances around, wondering if any of the adults are hungry. He's got seven buns left, and while there's more than seven people in the car, he wants to feed anyone else who's starving.
A few people glance at him and the little family, but none of their eyes linger, and none of their throats swallow. He almost wants to announce his willingness to share, but something tells him that won't go over like he hopes.
So he just quietly eats his bun and notes with pleasure that the children don't complain about being hungry afterwards. Small stomachs, he supposes. Plus, these buns are quite dense.
Just like Jeongin.
Hyunjin hopes he's not too annoyed that Hyunjin's not home at—he checks his phone—2:20. He winces. Yeah, he was supposed to be there already.
The kids sip their drinks and Jimin does her best to clean their sticky hands and faces. Then Youngwoo starts to get wiggly and Minho's eyelids start to droop.
Wordlessly, Jimin brings Minho onto her lap, where he slumps forward onto her chest like it's the most natural thing in the world. Hyunjin envies the speed at which he falls asleep.
"Go ahead and walk around, Youngwoo-yah," Jimin eventually says, fond exasperation in her tone. "Just don't step on anyone's feet or bags."
It's like he was waiting for the words, because Youngwoo hops down from his seat in a flash, and starts running up and down the cabin, footsteps loud.
She sighs. "I should have known he wouldn't walk."
"I don't think anyone is bothered," Hyunjin comments. The halmeonis watch the little boy run with indulgent smiles. The various lone passengers also watch him instead of their phones. Even the teenagers eye him without disgust on their faces. "He's cute. I bet everyone is happy just for some variety. We've been stuck for like two hours."
"That's kind of you to say," she says, throwing him a smile.
"How old are they?"
"This one is three," she says, gesturing to the child in her lap, "and he is five." She nods to the zooming Youngwoo. [Author's Note: she uses korean age]
"They're very cute," Hyunjin says again, unsure of what else he can say. When was the last time he talked to a parent that wasn't his own or one of his members'? When was the last time he interacted with kids so young?
He might be out of his element, but he likes it.
Briefly, his unruly imagination gives him a picture of Jeongin chasing a toddler around in a quiet little house. His imagination tells him its their house, and the toddler is their child.
His heart melts and aches in response.
Don't think about that. He and Jeongin have carefully never brought up concrete hopes for the future, both too scared of being too honest with their wants, knowing what is an isn't possible as gay idols.
Youngwoo zooms over to them, and Hyunjin schools his face into something friendly instead of tortured.
He needn't have bothered. The little boy doesn't spare him a glance. "Eomma, I have to go potty."
"Shi—zz," she says immediately, and Hyunjin stifles a giggle at her almost-profanity. She looks around anxiously, confirming what Hyunjin already knows. "You're going to have to hold it, aegi. There's no potty here."
Youngwoo shifts rapidly from foot to foot. "Eomma, I can't! I have to go."
She bites her lip, and Hyunjin sees her brain whirring a million kilometers a mile behind her brown eyes. He hopes she has a solution because he has no idea what he'd do in her situation. "There's not—is it pee pee or poo poo?"
"Pee pee."
She heaves a breath. "Okay." Looks around again. "Okay." Turns to Hyunjin. "I'm so sorry, but could you hold him?" She motions to the sleeping toddler on her chest. "I might need both hands to help him."
Shock sparkles bright in Hyunjin's veins, and he trips over his tongue. "Yes! Of course!" He's held babies before. At least once. Maybe twice. And this kid isn't a baby anyway. That should make it easier, right? He reaches his arms out awkwardly. "Uh, how do I…?"
"Just let him lean on you," she says, and somehow transfers little Minho into Hyunjin's lap with an impressive smoothness.
Hyunjin looks down in amazement. The little body in his lap is warm and surprisingly heavy. Little kids must be so flexible, because little Minho is practically doing the splits like its nothing, short legs splayed on either side of Hyunjin's torso. Minho rouses slightly at the transfer, blinking sleepy eyes, mouth screwed up.
Hyunjin tenses, anticipating a cry, but the mother pats Minho's back soothingly. "It's okay, aegi. Sleep more. It's okay."
"Eomma! I have to go!"
"Be patient," she tells Youngwoo firmly. Then she looks up at Hyunjin with similar firmness. "Just pat his back like this. I'll be back soon."
Hyunjin nods and replaces her hand with his own, patting lightly.
She takes Youngwoo's hand and walks away, and Hyunjin doesn't follow them with his eyes because he has a little human sleeping on him!!!
It's…amazing, is the only word for it. He feels every deep breath the little one takes, his spine and ribs pressing against Hyunjin's palm. Minho's cheek squishes adorably where it's pressed against Hyunjin's chest, body utterly slack.
There's so much trust in this little body that Hyunjin feels his throat start to close up. He's so honored to be trusted like this. Briefly, his brain spits up the many terrible things an adult of his size could to do a child of this size. His nose starts to prickle, and he shakes his head to banish the terrible thoughts.
Minho starts to slide, so Hyunjin slumps down a little to try and make the toddler more comfortable on his flat chest. The angles of his body are certainly much different than the little boy's mother's, and he'd rather not wake him from his nap before she comes back.
Speaking of, how on earth did she manage Youngwoo's potty needs?
Hyunjin looks around the blue-lit cabin and sees that Jimin has gone to the corner of the car. In front of her, blackness looms.
She opened the emergency exit to the outside? Is he balancing on the edge and just going on the tracks? Huh. I guess that works.
He remembers being little enough that going pee was a quick, no-hands affair with minimal mess. He can't see Youngwoo in front of his mom, but he bets that's what's happening.
As he watches, the door closes, and mother and son turn back into the car. She starts walking back, smiling awkwardly and bowing shallowly to everyone she passes.
The halmeoni leader leans forward to catch Jimin's attention. "You're doing a great job, eomma. This is a hard situation for your little ones. Please don't worry about the rest of us too much."
I wanna be her when I grow up, Hyunjin thinks, staring at the halmeoni. What a rockstar.
"Thank you, halmeoni," Jimin says, and this time her smile looks a little more genuine. Not happy, exactly, but tired instead of pained.
"Can he have a candy?" another halmeoni asks, digging around in her purse. "I think I've got something here…"
Youngwoo looks hopefully up at his mom, who nods. "Yes, thank you." She nudges Youngwoo, who gives a very pretty bow and says "thank you."
All the old ladies coo at him, and a brightly wrapped hard candy gets pressed into his little hand.
They make their way back to their chairs next to Hyunjin, and Jimin opens the candy for Youngwoo, who pops it in his mouth immediately, screwing up his face.
She laughs a little. "Is it sour?"
He nods.
"You can spit it out," she whispers, holding her palm out.
He shakes his head. "Can I play some more?"
She laughs, slumping back into her chair, fondness splitting her face. She has a dimple that makes Hyunjin yearn so hard for Jeongin that his stomach clenches. "Go ahead. See what you can find in my bag."
As Youngwoo does that, she turns to Hyunjin. "Thank you. I can take him back now."
Hyunjin's hand has become an automatic patting machine. His front is sweaty and there's a slight ache in his side.
"I don't mind holding him some more. He's sleeping so well…"
Jimin glances between her son and Hyunjin's face a few times before relaxing into her chair. "Okay. If you're sure."
Happiness rises to Hyunjin's cheeks, and he can't help his wide smile. "I don't get to be with little kids very often," he says shyly, looking down at the black head of hair on his chest. "So this is kind of special. For me."
She sighs, and Hyunjin glances at her to see her rub her eyes. "Ah, thank you for reminding me. I love them, but they are a lot of work. It's easy to forget how precious they are sometimes when I'm caught up in taking care of all their little problems." She smiles at him, dimple winking again. "I'm glad you can enjoy a little part of this," she gestures to the darkness around them, "situation."
Hyunjin nods, and keeps patting the sleeping toddler's back. "Me, too. Where were you going?"
"Home. You?"
"Home also. Was going to meet my— friend for lunch." He shrugs. "I guess we'll have to reschedule."
The hours drag on. Youngwoo finds some toy cars and makes them characters in a very simple rescue storyline that he plays out a million times without getting bored. Minho wakes at some point, and looks confused when he sees his mom next to him. It makes him look up at Hyunjin, and before the fear in his eyes can fully formulate, Hyunjin passes him quickly over to Jimin.
He unsticks his shirt from his sweaty chest and stomach, relishing the cool air. Do all kids run that hot?
People start to grumble as the time ticks over to 3pm, then 4pm, then 5pm, and Hyunjin gives away the remaining of his cream-buns. The halmeonis supplement them with raw carrots. Youngwoo goes potty again, and Hyunjin's own knee is shaking with his full bladder.
Dance practice was supposed to start at 5. His members must be wondering where he is. While he's not worried for himself—because there's no way the subway people have just forgotten about them— he is worried about his members' reactions. He's sure when he gets back into service range, he'll find dozens of missed calls and texts. Will some be worried? Will some be annoyed with him? Will most just shrug and carry on? Are the rest of them at dance practice? Did they cancel it because he didn't show up?
That last thought makes him feel guilty. God, he hopes not. They should still use this time to practice. He can catch up later.
And Jeongin. Hyunjin basically stood him up. How is he feeling?
He looks down at the empty bakery box. He doesn't regret sharing it with his fellow stranded passengers, but the crumb-filled box mocks him. This whole trip was meant to surprise Jeongin with a tasty treat, and now he'll be coming back empty-handed.
Whenever he gets back, that is.
Suddenly, the overhead lights burst back into life, and Hyunjin isn't the only one who hisses and squints against the brightness.
The intercom crackles. "Passengers, we are back online. Thank you for your patience. We will be moving again momentarily."
An irritated cheer goes up, Hyunjin's voice part of it. He and Jimin exchange tired smiles that broaden when the train starts moving again.
As Hyunjin looks out the window, only to see his warped reflection stare back at him, part of him wants to get off at the next available stop and get a rideshare the rest of the way. He's been in here long enough. On the other hand, the train will spit him out a mere 5-minute walk from Jeongin's place.
A few minutes later, notification sounds fill the car as everyone's phones reach service again. Hyunjin fishes his own out eagerly. It lights up as he holds it, and he watches as message after message pours in.
He doesn't have any preview on, so he can only see who has called and KaKaoTalked him these past five hours. It's a lot of Chan and Jeongin, with at least one from each other member, too.
Hyunjin swipes his thumb to unlock his phone and—it powers off.
"No," Hyunjin groans, tilting forward and holding his head in his hands.
"What's wrong, Hyunjin-ssi?"
"My phone died," he tells Jimin. "So I can't answer all my friends asking me where I am."
How dumb can he be? He didn't charge it last night at Jeongin's place, and he wasn't even thinking about preserving the battery in this state of semi-emergency.
"Ah. I'm sorry." The sound of bag-rummaging has Hyunjin looking sideways at her, heart lifting in hope. Maybe her bag of mom-preparedness has something that can help him.
But she turns to him moments later, regret on her face. "I thought I might have my portable charger in here, but I don't. Sorry."
Hyunjin smiles in reassurance. "That's okay."
That settles his plan of action, then. He can't call a rideshare if he doesn't have his phone, and he doesn't even know if old-style taxis are a thing anymore. More subway time it is, then, bladder needs be damned.
Unsurprisingly, when the subway hisses to a stop, most of the passengers bolt off, Jimin and her sons included.
She and Youngwoo bow to him, Minho following a beat behind. "Thank you for all your help, Hyunjin-ssi," she says.
"Thank you, samchon," Youngwoo echoes.
Hyunjin smiles at them easily, gloomy thoughts taking a backseat. "Thank you for making the time interesting!"
Then they file out, leaving Hyunjin and two others still in the car. A few more people file on.
Hyunjin bounces his leg for the rest of the ride. He can't even check how long it is, since he's not in the habit of wearing actual watches outside of photoshoots and other public appearances. He ought to change that.
How is everyone else? He hopes Chan hasn't sent out a search party for him or notified the company yet. It's only been a few hours, right? Not so long to cause panic.
Though, when Jisung disappeared for less than a day, everyone freaked out.
The subway hisses to a stop at Hyunjin's station, and he leaps off his seat, scurrying to leap out of the doors as soon as they open.
Finally!
The station air isn't exactly fresh, but it's different from the subway car air, which is all Hyunjin really needs.
After racing to the bathroom and throwing away the bakery bag, Hyunjin jogs up the steps and into the dark street. Obviously he's going to Jeongin's place instead of his own; that's where he was last expected to be, after all. He'll check there to see if someone's waiting for him, plug in his phone and call if not. He knows exactly where Chan and Jeongin keep all their chargers.
His breaths puff in the December air, stark white because the sun has set already. He keeps up a steady jog, heart elevated from exercise or anticipation, he doesn't know. He's doubtless going to get chewed out for being irresponsible. Hopefully it's not Jeongin doing the chewing out, though. He hates being on the receiving end of his disappointment.
The apartment door opens easily, much like it did last night. Unlike last night, there is no shirtless man in the kitchen.
Instead, there is a fully-clothed Yang Jeongin on the couch.
Jeongin whips his head up at the sound of the door opening, eyes widening when he sees Hyunjin.
"Hey, Iyen-ah," Hyunjin says weakly, giving a lame little wave.
Why did I do that??
There's a bang and a thump as Jeongin lurches off the couch and runs to him, tripping over nothing and crashing into him.
"Where have you been?" Jeongin's arms squeeze Hyunjin so tightly, his words come out on a wheeze.
"My subway got stuck. No service. I'm sorry."
Jeongin pulls back, looking up at him with a frown. He's so pretty, all smooth skin and fluffy, unstyled hair. His broad mouth is pulled down, lips as full as always. Hyunjin stares back, and feels like everything off-kilter inside him settles into their proper places.
"Sub—"
Jeongin's word gets cut off with a quick kiss that Hyunjin really has no control over. All the waiting, the worry, the discomfort melt from his bones as soon as he feels those familiar lips beneath his.
Jeongin sputters when Hyunjin pulls back, a silly grin on his hyung's face.
But he will not be deterred. "You were on a subway? Why? When?" Then he shakes his head. "Do you know how worried I was? Everyone was?"
Hyunjin caresses Jeongin's jaw, enamored. "I'm sorry, baby. When the subway started moving again, my phone died so I couldn't call you." He bites his lip. "Was dance practice cancelled because of me?"
Jeongin shakes his head. "I stayed here and Felix went to your house to wait in case you showed up. Everyone else is practicing. Oh, right." He changes his hug to looping one arm through Hyunjin's, as if he's afraid Hyunjin will disappear, and sends off a text to the group chat.
He looks back up. "There. Now everyone can stop panicking."
"Panicking?" Worried, sure. But panicking?
Jeongin looks up at him with severe eyes. "Yeah. Panicking. I was. Because I came back from vocal practice and you weren't here." He turns and grips Hyunjin's shoulders hard, frowning so hard that Hyunjin almost wants to make a joke about his face getting stuck like that.
"I waited and you still weren't here, and then you didn't answer your phone." His voice changes, breaking, going low and squeaky. "And I knew that something had happened to you because there's no way you would just ditch me like that." Jeongin's frowning lips wobble, the corners of his mouth trembling while his eyes turn shiny.
Oh. Hyunjin's heart melts even as the pressure of arousal rises in his gut. Not the time, dick.
"So I was panicking! I kept wondering if you'd been kidnapped! Or a car had hit you! Or you were lying in an alley somewhere, hurt!" He shoves his face into Hyunjin's shoulder with a hitched breath, not able to maintain eye-contact. Wet heat fans across his skin, and Hyunjin wraps his arms around Jeongin's tense form, feeling how his arms and shoulders curl inwards, shrinking.
Then, lips. Hyunjin swears he feels Jeongin's shaking lips press into his neck. A thrill races down his spine. "I'm so glad you're here, hyung," Jeongin croaks into his skin. He shifts and places another kiss a little higher, beneath Hyunjin's jaw. "I'm so glad you're all right." A tiny hiccup of emotion, a fresh spot of wetness, and another kiss near his ear.
Just with the sounds and the sensations of Jeongin crying, Hyunjin is about to vibrate out of his skin, he's so turned on. "Yeah. I'm here, baby. I'm fine," he says hoarsely, running a palm soothingly up and down Jeongin's back.
Jeongin slides his big hands up to twine behind Hyunjin's neck, pulling him close. He sniffles, too loud given the proximity to Hyunjin's ear. He doesn't care. It's cute and hot and Hyunjin really wants to see Jeongin's teary face.
"I wanna be close to you, hyung." His plush lips brush against Hyunjin's earlobe, and all of Hyunjin's hair stands on end.
"Yeah, jagi. Me, too."
Jeongin leans back, then, just enough to look at Hyunjin from beneath inky eyelashes. His gaze is heated, face not yet red from crying, just a little wet.
Hyunjin's knees buckle with the force of his want, and his sudden dip in height has Jeongin's quivering mouth quirking up on one side.
"Come on." He slides a hand down to Hyunjin's wrist and pulls him through the apartment, through his bedroom door, and onto the bed.
Hyunjin doesn't get a single breath in before Jeongin is crawling on him, straddling his thighs and fumbling with his belt, ripping off the clothing like it's on fire and Jeongin is there to save him.
Stunned, Hyunjin gapes for a moment before he scrambles out of his shirt.
"I just—" Jeongin licks his lips as he tosses Hyunjin's underwear to the floor, staring at the place where his thighs meet. His eyes flick up to Hyunjin's. "I can't tell you how relieved I am."
Hyunjin nods and tries to smile reassuringly. He feels a little ridiculous with his hard cock standing between them like a flag. "Me, too. It was a rough day stuck on that subway."
"Why'd you even go?" Jeongin asks, flinging his shirt off and attacking his own pants.
"I went to that bakery we like. Was going to bring back cream bread for us."
Jeongin pauses with his underwear hanging off one ankle. His chin starts trembling like an earthquake, and his eyes regain their glassy sheen. Hyunjin's dick twitches when Jeongin meets his eyes. "Hyung-nim." He already sounds wrecked.
Hyunjin just holds his arms out, and Jeongin dives into them with a tiny sniffle.
Skin on heated skin, Hyunjin shivers and melts as Jeongin's chest slides against his. Warm skin pins his dick to his stomach, and their legs tangle as Jeongin clings to him, sniffles growing louder and more frequent.
When Jeongin said he wanted to be "close," Hyunjin thought he meant sex. He really hopes sex is still the plan, but this is wonderful, too.
"Sorry I don't have them." Hyunjin whispers, tracing circles into the contours of Jeongin's muscled back. "Everyone in that subway was stuck for so long, I gave them away. There was this mom with two little kids. I didn't want them to be hungry when I had something to offer."
Tears wet Hyunjin's shoulder. "Stop being so perfect," Jeongin sobs, hands going up to rub at Hyunjin's hair, then pushing into the bed so he can hover over him. "I can't believe you're real," he looks so sad as he says it, but when he dives down for a kiss, he's all heat and salt and desperation.
Hyunjin grips his waist and kisses back enthusiastically. Head spinning with all the beautiful, raw emotion Jeongin is radiating right now, he licks into Jeongin's mouth, savoring the little hitches as he keeps crying. There's nothing Hyunjin loves more than feelings.
Jeongin disconnects them with a gasp. "I wanna top this time," he croaks. "I need to feel you like that."
The moan Hyunjin lets out is entirely involuntary, just like the tingly lurch in his gut at the words.
Jeongin chuckles wetly, sniffling pathetically when he reaches for their lube in the bedside table drawer.
Vixen, demon, siren I.N. is nowhere to be found in Jeongin's wobbly jaw and swelling eyes, but Hyunjin's mouth still waters while looking at him. His baby bread is so soft-hearted despite his sharp exterior. Adoration doesn't begin to describe the swelling in his heart watching his emotional, teary boyfriend shuffle between his thighs.
Hyunjin spreads his legs and bends a knee to give Jeongin easier access to his hole. Jeongin's fingers tremble as he tries and fails to open the lube.
"I can prep myself, Iyennie," Hyunjin says softly, holding out his hand.
Jeongin shakes his head. "No. Wanna feel you." And finally gets the bottle open, dribbling some onto his first two fingers.
Much to Hyunjin's surprise, Jeongin keeps being far more talkative than usual as he slides his fingers around Hyunjin's rim.
"When I wasn't thinking about all the terrible things that might have happened to you, I was thinking about how much I missed you." Jeongin's eyes stay downcast, and Hyunjin feels the drop of a tear on his thigh. He's about to explode from horniness, and the sweet feeling of Jeongin's fingers breaching him doesn't help. Nor do his sweet words.
"Y-yeah?" Hyunjin pants, spreading his legs wider. It's been a while since he's been on the receiving end, and he can't for the life of him remember why that is.
"I thought, 'what if I never see him again?' and I felt like throwing up."
Jeongin's gorgeous, long fingers pet the inside of Hyunjin's walls, lighting him up from the inside. Hyunjin cranes his neck to the side to see him better and tilts his eyebrows up. "Oh, my poor baby bread."
Jeongin's face crumples as he slowly thrusts his fingers in and out, scissoring them slightly. "I can't imagine a life without you, hyung. I r-really need y-you."
Hyunjin's heart is about to burst. His pelvis is getting there, too, all hot and willing. He wants nothing more than to hold Jeongin right now, but he's too far away.
Instead, all he can do is watch as beautiful, arousing tears run down his boyfriends cheeks and nose, dripping from his chin as all the sharp planes of his face bunch and melt with emotion.
Fuck, he's stupid levels of hard.
"You've got me, baby." He wiggles his hips. "Come inside now. Let's get close." Could he use more prep? Probably. Especially with how thick Jeongin's cock is. But he knows how to relax, and more importantly, he wants to be connected to Jeongin right the fuck now.
Crying, Jeongin pulls his fingers out, puts a truly obscene amount of lube on his dick, and lines himself up. His knees bump against Hyunjin's ass, and he drops heavily onto his hands, braced on either side of Hyunjin's head.
It means his sad face is right in Hyunjin's view, and the surge of energy that comes with his cuteness aggression makes it hard for him to relax his hole as Jeongin pushes in. But he powers through.
"Good Yeni," Hyunjin moans, digging his fingers into Jeongin's muscled shoulders. The stretch and slide are heaven, pressing at Hyunjin's sensitive inner flesh in all the right ways. His vision goes hazy and he struggles to focus, even with Jeongin hovering right above him.
"Yeah?" Jeongin croaks, sniffling again. His hair hangs down, shadowing his face. His tears drop directly onto Hyunjin's lips. "Feels good?"
Hyunjin's tongue swipes every blessed tear from his lips, saltiness like a benediction on his tongue. "Feels like you. God, I can feel you everywhere. Go fast, baby."
Jeongin obliges, the quick pace of his snapping hips exactly what they both need. The drag in and out of Hyunjin's ass quells the restless energy he'd usually put into motion. But here, all he can do is take it. Take it, and feel as syrupy heat spreads through him, making his tip leak almost as much as Jeongin's eyes.
"C-close enough?" Hyunjin says, body jostling from the force of Jeongin's thrusts. He drives deep and hard, powerful hips seemingly tireless as he plows into Hyunjin. Above him, Hyunjin admires the defined cut of he chest, his collarbones, the dip where his neck meets his shoulder. And, of course, his dripping nose and eyes, his parted lips gasping with every sob. Even Jeongin's forearms are pretty, veins and muscles standing out in stark relief.
Until Jeongin drops to his elbows, breath fanning over Hyunjin's chin and changing the gravity of their joined bodies so that Hyunjin's thighs come up higher, spine curling a bit.
Hyunjin gasps out a choked moan, a new set of sparks lighting firecrackers inside him.
"Now we're close enough," Jeongin whispers through his tears. He drops his head, pressing his forehead into Hyunjin's collarbone, his hair tickling Hyunjin's chin. "I love you so much, Hyunjin-hyung."
"Love you, too, baby," Hyunjin gasps, finally getting his arms around his boyfriend, feeling the shifting muscles in his back.
"You're so perfect." Jeongin's voice breaks on the last word. He sounds miserable, even as his thrusts maintain an insane speed, even as his fingers caress Hyunjin's temples, his cheeks, his scalp. "You're so good, and kind, and sweet, and lovely. I want you forever."
Heat flushes through Hyunjin at the words, spreading like fire from the inside out. It fuels the growing knot of pressure in his groin.
"Yeni," he gasps out, running his hands frantically over every inch of heated skin he can reach.
Jeongin's dick strokes him perfectly, the head pressing against his sweet spot on every drag out. It stretches and fills him, a constant contact of pleasure.
Somehow, Jeongin presses even deeper into him, and presses their bodies even closer together. It's all sticky skin and tears, barely contained sobs and moaning gasps. Hyunjin feels fused, connected, together more than he ever has before.
Jeongin's sobs drive him wild. He feels them along his front, inside his ass—everywhere.
He comes with a cry, pleasure detonating with the force of a bomb inside him. It rockets along all his nerves, searing him from his toes to his fingertip to the crown of his head. He swears he tastes flavors he's never imagined.
And then Jeongin bites him. Hard. Right in the meat of his shoulder. A keen brands itself in Hyunjin's skin, Jeongin grinding into him as his own orgasm takes him over.
The familiar pain of the bite has Hyunjin arching up into Jeongin's mouth, crushing him even tighter to himself. Lights pop behind Hyunjin's eyelids and all he can think of is just how many points of connection they have right now.
Jeongin stays tense above him, inside him. Hyunjin is sunk so far into the mattress, he may have left an indent. It doesn't matter, though, not when his skin is still hot and stuck to Jeongin's.
The first thing to relax is Jeongin's jaw, and Hyunjin hisses as he pulls his teeth out. That'll be one hell of a bruise.
He can't wait to show it off.
The rest of Jeongin gradually loosens, and he settles onto Hyunjin's chest still buried to the hilt. Hyunjin rests his heels on his lower back and strokes his sweaty hair.
"Feel better?" he asks.
Jeongin nods cutely. "Good to feel that you're alive and well."
Hyunjin cranes his neck to press a kiss to the crown of Jeongin's head. "I'm very well now. Thanks to you."
"Mmm."
Jeongin must have used up all his words, because he says nothing else as they lay together for probably too long, uncaring of anyone or anything outside this room. They'll have to get up eventually, but Hyunjin is in no hurry to release Jeongin from the circle of his arms. Judging from the constant rubbing on his buzzed scalp, Jeongin feels the same way.
Spring 2025
Hyunjin sprawls on the couch of his own apartment, paying very little attention to the drama playing on the TV in front of him. No, he's busy looking at Jeongin.
Jeongin, whose elbows are braced on his knees, leaning forward, face half-covered by his hands, utterly enraptured in the heart wrenching finale. The visible top half of his face is enough to get Hyunjin's mouth watering and dick filling out: devastation in his wide, teary eyes.
Changbin kindly left them to their drama date, which Hyunjin had thought was unnecessary at the time. They're not one of those couples, after all. They can do things with their friends.
Now, however, he's very, very grateful for Changbin's absence.
Hyunjin licks his lips and stares at the colorful lights gilding Jeongin's pretty hands and shiny eyes. The music swells, the actors say a truly fantastic line, and Jeongin squeaks out a little high-pitched sob.
If Hyunjin were a predator animal, his ears would be twitching forward. As it is, only his dick twitches.
The last scene of the drama ends, and Jeongin buries his face completely in his hands, curling forward and letting out a few more sobs. His back shakes, and Hyunjin heeds his tingling fingers to scoot closer and stroke his spine wordlessly.
Jeongin wipes his face and sits up, a glorious image of emotion that pushes a very familiar button in Hyunjin's brain.
I need to get him into my bed.
Jeongin stares at him, and suddenly his eyebrows come crashing down. He opens his mouth, and the words that come out throw Hyunjin for a loop.
"Hyung! You pavloved me!"
Hyunjin blinks. Blinks again. Most of his blood is in his groin, not his brain, so all he manages to say is: "What?"
Jeongin scoffs and leans back into the couch, shifting his hips and bringing his thighs together so his sweatpants drape loosely over his lap. "Look. This is your fault."
Hyunjin looks all right. He looks and his mouth waters so much he has to gulp or risk drooling. Because tenting the fabric of Jeongin's pants is a glorious erection.
"My fault?" he squeaks intelligently, hand drifting towards the dick he knows and loves.
Before he can make contact, Jeongin spins on the couch, using that dancer's grace he so rarely has when the music's not playing. It serves him now, as he straddles Hyunjin, knees digging into the couch on either side of his hips as he plops himself into Hyunjin's lap.
Right on Hyunjin's matching erection.
Hyunjin grunts and looks up at his boyfriend, clocking the sudden mischief on his face.
"Yeah. Your fault. Seems like you've conditioned my body to expect pleasure when I cry now. It's the only explanation." With a raised eyebrow, he rolls his hips, grinding purposefully down on Hyunjin's cock.
Desire surges like a tsunami, washing through Hyunjin and making him grip Jeongin's hips tightly. "That's the hottest thing in the universe," he chokes out.
Jeongin grins, foxy and sinfun, wiggling his ass erratically. The friction is maddening. "You should take care of me, then. Take responsibility."
"Yes, my baby," Hyunjin groans immediately, feeling hot all over. "Of course I will." His mind races with possibilities even as he pushes Jeongin's sweatpants down his hips. Jeongin's wide stance means he can only bare him to the top of his thighs, but that's enough for his weighty cock to spring free.
Hyunjin wraps his big hand around Jeongin right away, dry on dry. "Mm hyung," Jeongin sighs in his siren voice, hips canting forward and head tilting back, eyes slipping shut.
Hyunjin looks up at him with all the wonder reserved for a religious experience.
He strokes him gently a few times, curling his free hand around to support Jeongin's lower back. "Yeah?"
Jeongin slits his eyes open and gives Hyunjin a demonic gaze, all the more potent for the lingering puffiness around his eyes and the few tear streaks dried on his cheeks. His tongue peeks out for a moment. "I want something else, though."
Desperately horny, Hyunjin trips over his tongue he speaks so fast. "What is it? Hyung will give it to you."
Jeongin slides off his lap and shucks off the rest of his clothes, then starts walking towards Hyunjin's bedroom. The lithe, muscled length of him drives Hyunjin crazy.
Hyunjin lurches to his feet, only to freeze when Jeongin looks over his shoulder. "Stay. I'm just getting lube."
Thrill fizzes up Hyunjin's spine. Lube? Whose ass does Jeongin plan to use it on? "Don't bother," Hyunjin blurts, shoving his own sweatpants down and dipping his fingers into the pocket in his underwear. "I've got some here."
Jeongin stares at the shiny packet clutched in Hyunjin's fingers, then groans, covering his eyes with one palm. "You're still carrying lube? In your own house, even?" His smile is wide, dimples deep and obvious.
"Yeah." It's become somewhat of a routine. Every morning when Hyunjin gets dressed, he automatically puts a lube pack into his underwear. He exclusively wears these pocketed ones now, anyway. "It's come in handy so many times, hasn't it?"
Jeongin is still smiling when he drops his hand and walks back to Hyunjin. "You're crazy." He yanks Hyunjin's underwear down, strips his shirt off, then pushes him to sit back onto the couch.
Hyunjin lands with a thump and watches with lust clouding his vision as a naked Jeongin straddles his thighs. Their erections brush together. He takes the packet.
"Crazy about you," Hyunjin breathes. "Are you saying you're not crazy about me?" His empty hands gravitate towards Jeongin's perfect skin, running up his sides, digging into his back, his pecs, and smoothing down over his abs. They aren't the most defined at the moment, but Hyunjin still feels when Jeongin tenses them to stay upright.
"I never said that." The living room is still dim, TV displaying a still screen of the drama and shining pale light onto Jeongin's back. It casts his face in shadow, making the hollows of his cheeks and his eyes especially dark.
Hyunjin feels like he's being mounted by a demon.
Jeongin's abs tense as he leans back, ripping open the packet and slicking up Hyunjin's cock.
The sudden, cool contact is overwhelming, sending pleasure racing up his spine. Hyunjin presses his hips up, fingers digging into Jeongin's hard thighs as he slumps into the back of the couch and moans.
The hold on his dick shifts, and Hyunjin re-focuses his eyes to see Jeongin rising up on his knees. As soon as he feels Jeongin's rim meet his head, Hyunjin's brain snaps back online.
"Wait, let me prep you."
Jeongin's free hand splays against Hyunjin's chest, keeping him pinned back. "I'm still loose from this morning, hyung." His fingertips brush a fresh bite mark above Hyunjin's nipple.
There's undeniable strength in Jeongin's hand, his arm and shoulder pushing Hyunjin down. So much so that when he starts sliding down Hyunjin's cock, Hyunjin can't even arch into the feeling. Jeongin's palm is a burning brand on his chest.
"Feel so good, Yeni," Hyunjin moans, sliding his hands from thighs to waist and squeezing. There's very little give on his obliques and abs, but Hyunjin loves the feel of it. The curve of Jeongin's hip is delicious, narrowing insanely around his belly button.
"Mm. You, too, hyung," Jeongin pants out. He sits all the way down, ass pressing into Hyunjin's hips, sac resting softly on Hyunjin's curly-haired pelvis.
The full contact is mind-blowing, warm and tight and wet. It quickly cranks up Hyunjin's arousal, urging him to move, to take. Restless energy has him grinding his hips in a little circle, using his grip on Jeongin's waist to move him in the opposite direction.
Jeongin leans forward, grips Hyunjin's shoulders, and lifts himself up slowly before falling back down, hard.
"Oh my God," Hyunjin chokes out. "I-I thought I was supposed to be taking care of you, baby bread."
"Just let me ride you," Jeongin grits, rising and falling again.
With how insane the slide feels on his dick, Hyunjin is not about to argue. He has one suggestion, though. "Y-you should cry more, baby." Jeongin neither looks nor sounds like he was just crying, and that's a shame.
Jeongin's laugh is nothing more than a breath. "I can't cry on command, hyung."
Oh, God. Hyunjin's dick throbs at the thought. Judging from Jeongin's stuttered breath, he felt it, too.
"You like that, hyung-nim?" he starts, grinning down at him, devilish. His hair bounces as he lifts up and slams down again. "Wanna train me to cry on command?" He lifts up again.
Hyunjin's fingers dig into his waist, and he pulls Jeongin down hard and fast, doubtless bruising his ass with his sharp hip bones.
Jeongin's eyes flutter, composure broken just like his voice that rises on a keening moan.
"You're lucky I don't know how to do that," Hyunjin pants, letting Jeongin handle the rise, but slamming him down as soon as he can. "Training you on purpose."
Fire builds in his gut as sweat pops out on his face. Jeongin's teary, swollen red face flashes through his mind over and over. All the times he's seen him cry are seared into his memory: hair spilled across pillows, up against a wall, seen in a mirror. If Hyunjin had the power to make that happen whenever he wanted… he'd probably never do anything else. His dick would fall off from overuse.
What a dream.
Jeongin speeds up his motions, properly bouncing on Hyunjin's dick, moaning in staccato bursts the whole time. His hands are firm, anchoring on Hyunjin's shoulders. Head thrown back, the long column of his throat is sadly too far away for Hyunjin to lick. The way his thighs are splayed, the outline of his waist and ribs and shoulders, gilded in the cool light of the TV is…
"Gorgeous," Hyunjin groans, unable to take his eyes away. He spreads his legs a little wider, mouth hanging open as he stares up at his boyfriend. "Gorgeous, angel."
Jeongin dives down, hungrily taking Hyunjin's lips with his own. He licks into the cavern of Hyunjin's mouth, and Hyunjin feels his brain melt out of his ears at the dexterous warmth licking behind his teeth and tangling with his tongue.
Jeongin does something different with his hips, a swivel or a grind paired with his frantic bouncing. His dick slides against Hyunjin's stomach, so hot and hard it must hurt.
Hyunjin cups his ass with one hand, supporting his speed. His other hand slides around to Jeongin's ridiculous pec, palm filled so satisfyingly with its sinful curve.
"Hyung, hyung, hyung," Jeongin slurs into his mouth, begging.
Maybe Hyunjin could make him cry now. Edge him or something. But he wants to come just as badly, orgasm battering against his control.
So he rubs against Jeongin's nipple and squeezes his ass-cheek hard. He tilts his hips ever so slightly. "Come on, love. Let go."
Jeongin's fingers dig into his shoulders, riding him harder and faster for a few more seconds. Then his teeth bite down on whatever he's got in his mouth—Hyunjin's lower lip. Hyunjin kisses him back as best he can, hungry and greedy despite the pain.
The high, helpless keen Jeongin lets out is a familiar sound, and Hyunjin drinks it down with blazing satisfaction. Jeongin's hole clenches down on him, simultaneously spilling hot come all over his stomach.
Pressure and heat and wetness have Hyunjin hurtling over his own edge, and he thrusts uncontrollably, wanting to be as deep inside Jeongin as possible. His hands slide against Jeongin's slick skin as he tries to hold him down, press him closer and harder.
"I love you," he croaks, words distorted with the hold Jeongin's teeth still have on his lower lip.
Jeongin replaces his teeth with his lips, sucking hard on Hyunjin's lip, then lazily tonguing at everything he can reach.
Hyunjin just relaxes, knowing that's another way his bitey baby bread says 'I love you.'
Nov 2025-MAMA Awards
They won the Daesang for the first time ever. Their work on Karma won them the Daesang.
Too many feelings swirl in Hyunjin's chest as he walks with the rest of his stunned members to accept the award. He can't believe they've made it this far. Can't believe he has, with his vocal struggles that made his career seem doomed.
He only realizes tears are wetting his eyes, mouth trembling when he hears the familiar sound of Jeongin's little sob. He turns to look, craning around all the members that stand between them. He only gets a glimpse of Jeongin's pretty hands hiding his face before Felix's blonde head gets in the way.
That's okay. Hyunjin turns back to the crowd, unseeing, and lets himself feel. Relief, joy, the sharp knife of unworthiness fill his bones until he's sure he will crack. He lets his tears flow freely, silently, as he's never been one to sob.
Some of his members speak into the mic, and Seungmin's emotional voice hits him right in the heart. His sweet puppy.
Eventually, they're allowed to leave the stage, and Hyunjin is surrounded by crying men in various stages of breakdown. He listens and watches and hugs anyone who gets close to him, that sharp unworthiness fading in the strength of their affection.
Until he finally reaches Jeongin, who folds himself into his chest like he always does. Hyunjin rubs his cheek against the top of his head, feeling Jeongin's hitching shoulders shake him, holding him tightly.
Jeongin lifts his head slowly, finally affording Hyunjin a clear view of his wrecked face.
A familiar jolt of arousal courses through him, but Hyunjin simply smiles fondly and strokes his thumb over his boyfriend's wet cheekbones. His own tears have mostly stopped, and his face is smooth and calm.
"We did it, Iyennie," he says with his cracked voice.
Jeongin nods and licks his lips, gaze darting all over Hyunjin's face. "I think I get it now."
Hyunjin tilts his head to the side, sliding his free hand over to hold the back of Jeongin's neck, loving the warm skin and hard bone beneath his palm. It grounds both of them. "Get what?"
Jeongin's red-rimmed, puffy eyes sparkle. His dimples pop, and Hyunjin touches one without a second thought. "Get your crying obsession." He swallows, throat bobbing attractively as he leans forward, lips brushing Hyunjin's ear. "Seeing your tears makes me want to jump you right now."
Hyunjin's lungs stutter, and his heart speeds up to concerning levels in less than a second. Arousal spikes, heating his pelvis and making him very grateful for his tight underwear.
Jeongin closes the gap between them, hugging him firmly. No one will think anything of it, of course. Because no one can feel Jeongin's hard-on like Hyunjin can.
His tone is teasing, absolutely mind-breaking when paired with the raspiness of his teary voice. "My tears make me horny. Your tears make me want you naked. Hyung, what have you done to me?"
He's made a monster, that's what. A beautiful monster he loves with every fiber of his being.
Hyunjin wouldn't have it any other way.
"How dare you tell me this when I can't do anything about it," he hisses pathetically into Jeongin's ear.
"You'll take the first opportunity, right hyung? Make love to me as soon as you can."
Hyunjin's lips ache with the urge to kiss him. He gives in as much as he can, turning his head to press a lingering kiss to the peak of Jeongin's cheekbone.
"That's right. And then I'll make you cry more, baby bread."