Chapter Text
Chad scrubbed a hand over his face. He let out a frustrated growl. "What do you mean 'discontinued?'"
The poor toy store clerk looked terrified. Even dressed in civvies, Chad was easily recognizable.
"Yeah," the retail worker timidly responded, shrinking in on himself. "The manufacturing company stopped making them when Mecha Man went into a coma. Think it had something to do with trying to respect a dying man."
"But, Mecha Man isn't dead," Chad hissed. He tried not to sound threatening, but he didn't think it was working. "So, why aren't the toys in stores for Christmas?"
"I'm sorry, man," the retail worker responded, his customer service voice trying to placate. "You're not the only one who's been looking for a Mecha Man Blue toy. You might try eBay or some of the collector shops."
Chad took a deep breath and let it out through his nose before he responded. "Thank you for your suggestion."
"Happy Holidays," the retail worker said as Chad made his way out of the shop.
"Fuckin' Mecha Man toy gotta be outta stock," he muttered under his breath. "The fuckin' fuck."
He just wanted to grab his niece a toy for Christmas. Personally, he rarely celebrated the holiday, but he'd be damned if he gave up the chance to spoil her rotten. Even if it meant participating in the miserable hellscape of capitalism.
And if his niece wanted a very specific Mecha Man toy, he'd do everything in his power to get it for her. It'd be just Chad's luck that the toy-ified version of his dispatcher would be discontinued.
"No luck again?" Alice asked. The smoky air around her smelled vaguely of cotton candy.
"Apparently, getting your hero bitch ass blown up gets your toys canceled," he explained, seething with frustration.
"Sucks to suck, I guess," Alice lamented, much less frustrated than him. She matched his pace as they walked in the general direction towards Torrance's SDN branch.
"Fuckin' right? And I gotta get it off a nerd shop or eBay."
Alice laughed. "That shit's gonna be expensive if the 'I don't touch grass' types got their hands on it."
"I know," Chad groaned. "What am I gonna do?"
"Get her a Barbie play set or somethin', kids eat that shit up."
As much as that was a valid suggestion, Chad wouldn't give up. Though he would still be getting her the Superhero Barbie, regardless.
"I'm not giving up that easy. We still got ten days until Christmas."
Little Ava had been asking for a Mecha Man Blue action figure for months, and Chad couldn't bear to see her disappointed.
"You could always ask Roberto Robertoson if he has one," Alice suggested.
"I'm desperate, but not that desperate," he answered. "Besides, you really think he's got one somewhere in his depression nest apartment?"
The pop star shrugged. "You right. Still couldn't hurt to ask, man might pull some sort of connection outa his ass."
"Heh, maybe, but I'm not that desperate yet."
They were almost to SDN by then. In less than thirty minutes, they'd suit up for their superhero shift. Chad hoped that it'd be busy enough to distract him from gift buying.
"Bitch, you better get desperate," she retorted. "You said it yourself, we got ten days until Christmas."
Robert sipped his lukewarm coffee from an SDN mug. Mr. Whiskey always doctored it perfectly, but as the shift dragged on, the different layers separated. Now his coffee was a creamy, chocolate syrup sludge with hints of espresso. Still, it was better than nothing.
"Alright everyone, good shift," he announced over the team channel. "Take time on your break to rest before our late shift, and don't forget to thank Galen's team for switching with us."
The usual cacophony of complaints about the midnight shift, but most of it was half-hearted. Robert had managed to negotiate Christmas day off for the Z-Team. However, that meant the whole team had to pick up a few more third shifts than they were used to. To no one's surprise, some members of the team were actually night owls and preferred these shifts, while others vehemently complained.
"They'll thank you when they get their day off," Chase said, floating partially above the cubicle divider. "Until then, they'll hate your guts."
"Eh, I'll take them bitching over sorta serious death threats after mild inconveniences," he said with a shrug. "Honestly, it'll be nice to have Christmas off."
Chase leveled a glare at him through the StarBlazer visor. "You actually taking it off, or you pulling some overtime?"
Chase left out the phrase 'in the suit,' and even if it was a habit between them, Robert was still grateful. Even after the Red Ring raid, only a handful of people knew he was Mecha Man despite office gossip being pretty on the nose.
Robert shook his head. "I was considering it, but I don't think I will. Things are in good hands, and the team won't let me."
"Good. If they aren't gonna, I fucking am," the speedster said. "You aren't escaping the gift exchange, motherfucker. Especially not when Beef is getting spoiled this year."
"I'm only a little concerned with the amount of stuff everyone's getting him. You do realize the vet says Beef's supposed to lose weight?" Over the cubicle, he spotted a happy Beef in Chase's arms. The rotund chihuahua truly lived up to his name.
"Of course I do, fucker. You'll see on Christmas. You're gonna be so surprised, Beef, won't'cha?"
Chase continued to baby talk Beef and Robert shook his head, but smiled. "So, you're definitely going to watch him tonight?"
"Santa's fucking reindeer couldn't fucking drag me away from Beef," he answered, deadpan.
Robert couldn't help but laugh. He scratched Beef's head. "Then I guess I'll see you both tomorrow. Be a good boy, Beef."
"Good night, kid, and keep those fuckers in line," Chase replied, and with that the speedster floated towards the take off balcony with Beef in his arms.
The Torrance branch was dark and quiet as evening set in, except for the practically glowing break room.
Gaudy fake garlands that shed constantly were tacked to the wall with blinking Christmas lights. A Menorah cut out was tack between the coffee marker and the sink. Holiday themed motivational posters replaced usual cat ones. It was all brought together by a fake Christmas tree with the most eclectic ornaments and lights that may or may not have been stolen considering it'd fallen to the Z-Team to decorate it.
That only accounted for the fact that the lights were still on. Instead of a quiet break room with heroes taking catnaps, the Z-Team were far from quiet.
"Are you seriously gonna eat Twinkies again?" Visi asked, popping into the visible spectrum beside the vending machine.
"Yes." Robert was thankful that he didn't flinch this time. He'd only just begun to become accustomed to Visi flashing in and out of visibility. She still sometimes caught him off guard.
"And anything else?" She'd brought the attention of the whole break room on him. Somehow, that's what got the Z-Team to be quiet.
"I brought some chili to reheat, in case you're wondering, and thanks for the recipe Mal." Robert humored them. After everything, he knew that they meant well.
"You're welcome," Malevala answered.
As the microwave buzzed, heating up his chili, the usual raucous started up again. Protest and swearing erupted from one corner of the break room where Waterboy took the lead in the game of Magic - neither Phenomaman or Punch Up had blockers on the board or responses in hand. Prism and Coupe were having a heated discussion about the better male protagonist in their most recent romantacy book.
"You gonna join the commune tonight?" Visi asked, grabbing energy drinks from somewhere.
"Maybe," Robert replied.
"C'mon! Kool Aid Commune farm needs the best farmer."
"Your Stardew will be fine without me, I promise." As morbid as the farm name was, it always left him amused. "Besides, I have a few maintenance things to take care of before the night is over."
"Leaving us for the other woman? How could you?" Visi declared dramatically before disappearing dramatically, floating energy drinks signaling her exit.
Robert shook his head as he followed her out, Twinkies and mug of chili in hand. If Mech suit repairs went well, he might have time to drop in on the Stardew session and take a nap. He even felt optimistic that it'd go smoothly, considering Ryod was waiting for him in the lab.
However, a certain fiery hero was leaning against the elevator banks, seemingly waiting for him.
"Something I can do for you Flambae?" he asked, half expecting an inflammatory argument to start. Robert had noticed early on in the last shift that something was bothering the other man. He couldn't pinpoint what, and since it hadn't been brought up in the shift, he hadn't asked.
Considering that Flambae looked equal parts bashful and irritated, Robert expected he'd soon find out.
"Robert," Flambae began, and Robert knew this had to be serious. "I need a favor..."
A beat of quiet filled the halls, and the taller man didn't elaborate.
"Well, that sounded painful," Robert prodded, half-heartedly. It worked.
"I'm being serious here, bitch," the fiery man snapped. "I'm trying to make Christmas special for my niece, and you might be the only one who can help."
"My evening just got interesting," Robert thought to himself and responded with, "I'm listening."
"The Deluxe Mecha Man Blue action figure, heard of it?"
He had to think for a minute. It sounded familiar, but for various unfortunate reasons, he didn't even have his own merchandising rights. He'd rarely had input in toys and the like.
"I think so. Probably signed a couple. Weren't they new about seven or eight ..." Robert trailed off as it dawned on him. It'd come out a couple of weeks before Shroud's plan had put him in a coma. That explained why he had trouble remembering it.
"Yeah. Look, a little girl really wants one, and I was hoping you might know where to get one," Flambae explained, but that only confused Robert more.
He furrowed his brow. "Shouldn't they be in stores? What with the holidays and all?"
"Turns out they don't like selling dying hero toys. Fucking things are rare shit now, Mecha Bitch. So, can you help or not? Wouldn't they need to go through you to license that shit?"
Robert nodded. "They would have, if I'd money for a lawyer."
"So, you can't help me?" Flambae looked exhausted.
"I don't know," he answered honestly, an idea forming in his head. He wouldn't promise anything, though.
"Thanks anyways, I guess."
The fiery hero walked off towards the break room looking dejected. Everyone on the Z-Team knew that Flambae's niece had him wrapped around her finger, and privately Robert wondered if she was the only reason Flambae hadn't reoffended, especially once he'd revealed who he was.
Robert headed down to the lab, thinking up a plan and forming lists in his mind. "I've rebuilt the suit with YouTube and a prayer. Can't be that hard."
As expected Royd was already there, working on his own project.
"Royd, are there 3D printers around here I could use?" he asked, setting his Twinkies and cooling chili at a work station.
"Shoo, why'd you ask, do?"
"Someone asked me to help save their Christmas, and it might just be do-able."
The Samoan man smiled. "Wha'chu have in mind?"