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“Hi.”
Reo blinks quickly. There’s a ghost in front of him—it must be, because there’s no way Nagi truly is here, on his porch, two days before Christmas, when it’s snowing so heavily outside. They haven’t talked since Nagi joined Japan’s national soccer team, after he’s won this mysterious Side-B thing that Reo is terribly curious about.
Something irremediably shifted that dreadful day when Nagi got locked off.
Reo couldn’t stop thinking about him, but he still learnt how to stop depending on him. He carved his own path, fought on his own, won by himself, exactly as Nagi had told him to do. It felt excruciatingly long and painful, but he was determined, and Mikage Reo is nothing if not a winner. He doesn’t back down when he wants something. He had made a promise and he had made up his mind, too, so he wouldn’t stop until he got what he wanted.
Perhaps this one-track mind is why he was so shell-shocked when Nagi reappeared during the U-20 World Cup, towards the end, as one of the big winners of Blue Lock Side-B—whatever that shit was. He was there, he was back, and Reo was as enchanted as frozen, because—
What now?
What was he supposed to do?
What were they supposed to do?
Nagi was still locked off and Reo was still in Blue Lock, despite the fact that it was obvious now they would soon be playing together again. Still, they were still separated in some way, not able to talk properly, and shared looks across a room or a field didn’t do much to help them. Considering the fact that they’re shit at communicating even with words, that probably shouldn’t have been much of a surprise.
And then, well. Time passed. More quickly than Reo anticipated.
Now it’s the off-season, everyone is home, celebrating with families and girlfriends. Reo has neither, because he told his parents they didn’t have any break for the holidays—which is a sour lie because he couldn’t stand seeing them. He did see Ba-ya because he needed help to move into the new, cozy apartment he found away from Mikage Corporation’s buildings, but that’s about it.
“…Hi?”
Nagi exhales slowly, eyes trained on his face, and Reo is unable to look away. He wants to look away, but Nagi doesn’t, not even once, and he can’t bring himself to break the eye contact first.
“Ba-ya gave me your new address.”
Reo looks at him with wide eyes, heart pounding, unsure of what to expect or of what to do. Nagi Seishiro is on his porch, cheeks and nose pink with cold, buried under too many layers, soft spoken and tender looking, like being there makes him happy. Something inside Reo’s chest twists and aches, hot and a bit suffocating; he feels his cheeks warm, his heart rate spikes, and he’s reminded of just how much he cares. Despite everything that’s happened between them, and despite how much time has passed, his heart has never moved on from this springtime of youth they’ve shared together in high school.
He’ll always be a bit in love with Nagi, he thinks. Always a bit weak to him, too.
“Wanna come in?”
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Ever since Blue Lock started, Reo’s calendar has revolved around the football season.
Right now, it’s the off-season, which is the only thing that matters in their soccer-related world—at least it should be. But Tokyo’s streets are illuminated with dangling decorations, and the forecast is now announcing that the heavy snowing has turned into an impromptu snowstorm which might last for days. It’s probably not how anyone in Tokyo had envisioned Christmas.
More so Reo.
“It looks like it’s not gonna stop anytime soon,” he tosses over his shoulder towards his open-air kitchen.
There, draped under a fluffy plaid despite already wearing a hoodie, Nagi wraps his hands around a mug of hot chocolate and lets the heat seep into his palms. His eyes are close, and his face is hovering over the mug as he lets the steam warm him. He looks stupidly endearing.
“Okay,” he sighs, so low that Reo almost misses it.
Reo looks at him for long seconds, lips pinched tightly, heart squeezing painfully in his chest. Then he looks away and swallows the lump in his throat.
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Being in love with your best friend is fine when you’re not aware of it. That’s the conclusion Reo had drawn after replaying all of his memories with Nagi. In hindsight, it seems obvious that he was already infatuated with his partner back in high school, before Blue Lock even started, but he didn’t know at the time, and things were much, much easier.
Then Blue Lock happened, and with it so did Reo’s first heart break, first delusions, first insecurities, and first love realisations. Fun times.
He may have realised he was in love with Nagi then, but they’ve never been back to their closeness pre-Second Selection, so Reo’s never had to deal with their… close and ambiguous behaviour while being aware of his goddamn feelings. It seems like Nagi’s sudden and unexplainable need to mend their friendship during Christmas is going to change that, though.
Right now, they’re huddled together on the couch, sharing the large fluffy blanket that Nagi refuses to let go off. There’s a bowl of sweet popcorn on Reo’s lap; their hands sometimes brush as they both dig in, absentmindedly watching whatever Christmas movie is now playing on TV. Nagi is curled up against Reo, cheek resting on his shoulder, his mop of white hair tickling Reo’s jaw. Sometimes, he sighs deeply, shifts a bit, and snuggles closer. Reo tries not to look at him. He makes it a point to ignore how warm he feels where Nagi’s body is pressed against his. Not that it’s working, but, you know—semantics. He needs to convince himself that it is, in fact, working.
“Are you sure it’s okay?” he asks at some point, somehow nervous. “Being snowed in here, I mean. With me. Or, well, at my place. I’m sure you’d have preferred yours.”
He can feel Nagi’s head shifting and his eyes boring holes into his temple, but he doesn’t meet Nagi’s stare. Eventually, Nagi nestles back on his shoulder, in the crook of his neck. When he sighs, Reo can feel a puff of warm air against his collarbone. It makes his heart skip a beat.
“It’s okay,” Nagi whispers. “I like this new place. It’s cozy. And you’re here.”
And you’re here. Reo blinks quickly. He stares intensely at the Christmas movie playing in front of him, but he’s not registering anything that’s happening; his heartbeat echoes inside his head and he tries to organise his thoughts. And you’re here. Right. What’s the big deal? It’s not like Reo’s been training himself to be fully alone and independent these past few months, precisely because of the man now snuggled against his side—it’s not like he’s been forced to be alone when he never wanted to be, and now Nagi is back and is saying this, is being like this.
Okay. Okay.
“…You didn’t tell me why you came all the way here,” Reo mumbles as he grabs some popcorn.
Nagi shuffles impossibly closer, rearranging the blanket around them. Reo feels way too warm by now, but he doesn’t move an inch. There’s something achingly comforting in finding back this physical proximity with Nagi. It’s like they’re back to how they were when they met, always together and always up in each other’s space. Not that Reo was aware of everything tied to it at the time, but still. He missed that. He missed Nagi.
“I missed you,” Nagi confesses quietly.
Oh.
“Oh,” Reo blurts out.
Did he say he felt too warm? Never mind that. He’s burning right now.
“I couldn’t text you,” Nagi continues. “You never unblocked me. And we didn’t train much together. You felt so far away. You were so far away.”
Reo swallows hard. “Oh,” he repeats, the sound coming out a bit choked.
He doesn’t really know what to reply, and he suddenly feels like the biggest hypocrite for ever thinking that Nagi should learn to better communicate his feelings. Maybe he’s never been that much better. He doesn’t feel like he is, at least.
“…I’m here now,” he murmurs at last. “I’m here.”
“Yeah,” Nagi whispers back, and he sounds so soft that Reo’s heart does an entire backflip in his chest.
The characters on screen suddenly burst into laughter and Reo startles, having completely forgotten about the stupid film still playing. Nagi huffs against his shoulder.
“Are you laughing at me?” Reo grumbles.
“I’m not.”
“You definitely just laughed.”
“Did not.”
“I literally heard you—”
“Feed me popcorn, Reo…”
“You—You brat—”
But his voice cracks at the end when an uncontrollable grin splits his face, and laughter spills from his lips, and Nagi opens his mouth expectantly, and it’s—it’s so stupidly nostalgic that Reo can’t help but laugh harder, cheeks burning and chest aflame, heart pounding and body sweating with how hot he feels under the blanket, glued to Nagi.
He stuffs too much popcorn in Nagi’s mouth in retaliation and Nagi spits half of it on the floor. It’s disgusting, it’s a mess, and they’ll have to clean, but Reo laughs so hard that his belly hurts.
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Outside, snow is falling like a downpour. Tokyo is barely discernible beyond this white curtain, even when Reo squints, and even when many lights lit up once it’s night time. Reo takes a sip of his hot herbal tea. There’s a bit of honey inside. It’s a drink he likes savouring before going to bed in winter; Ba-ya used to make it for him when he was younger, and it’s one of the only things from his childhood that still feel like home.
“You don’t have any Christmas tree,” Nagi suddenly comments behind him.
Reo glances at him over his shoulder. Nagi’s just showered, so he looks fresh and clean, skin still pink and damp with hot water, because he can’t be bothered to dry himself properly. Reo itches to do it for him, but he wonders if that would be crossing a line.
(He’s not used to wondering about that. Not with Nagi. He wishes he never became so aware of his best friend.)
“I don’t. I’m not really a Christmas person. Are you?”
Nagi shrugs.
“Buying and decorating a Christmas tree is a pain,” he says. Reo snorts—he could have guessed that. “But I like Christmas.”
“Oh.”
“I thought Reo would be the kind of person to have a huge Christmas tree and go way overboard to decorate it.”
Reo pauses. He looks outside again. Christmas lights blink back at him from the streets.
“I guess I used to be,” he admits. “When I was younger, at my parents’.”
“Why not anymore?”
“Well…” His gaze drops to the cup between his hands. “It feels kind of useless. Christmas is about love and presents. I felt like I had none of the former and too much of the latter, so… Yeah. Christmas started feeling like bullshit to me, I guess.”
Nagi hums at this declaration, then slowly drifts closer. His body still radiates heat from the hot shower he took, and Reo instinctively leans towards him. When he catches himself, he straightens, but Nagi follows his movement and leans closer until their arms are pressed together.
“Let’s make this Christmas a good Christmas, then,” Nagi suggests.
“But we don’t have a Christmas tree,” Reo whispers, faintly amused.
“Christmas trees are a pain, we don’t need one.”
“Oh yeah?” Reo’s smile widens and he allows himself to lean back against Nagi. “And what do we need, then?”
“You said it. Love and presents…”
Reo’s heart stutters. He tries not to read too much into what Nagi said.
“…and fried chicken.”
“What?”
“Fried chicken,” Nagi repeats, deadpan, like it’s extremely obvious. “We need to eat fried chicken for Christmas. It’s tradition.”
“O—kay. Uh. If you say so, Nagi.”
“I say so,” Nagi huffs, like the goddamn brat he is. “Reo’s so clueless sometimes.”
“Hey! I’m gonna make you sleep on the porch instead of in the guest room if you continue!”
“Eeeh… So mean…”
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Reo takes a while to fall asleep. He tosses and turns in his bed, restless, and feels like he’s being too loud even though Nagi’s not even sleeping in the same room. Which—maybe that’s why he’s restless. In hindsight, he thinks he’s never slept at the same place as Nagi without being able to see him. To know that he’s here, just next door, too close and too far at the same time, tickles his brain the wrong way.
He glances at the clock on his bedside table. 2:17 A.M.
Great.
He shifts in his bed again, lying on his back and staring at the ceiling. A bit of light comes through the blinds—he never fully closes them—and looks like golden brushstrokes. The apartment is well insulated, so it’s completely silent, save for Reo’s sighs and the rustling of sheets every time he moves. He wonders if Nagi’s sleeping well. He wonders how much time they’ll be snowed in like this. He wonders when Nagi would like to leave.
The door creaks open around twenty minutes later. Reo stands up on his elbows, stunned, and watches Nagi as he shuffles discreetly inside Reo’s bedroom, the fluffy plaid still wrapped around him.
“Nagi?” he whispers.
Nagi freezes, like he didn’t expect to be noticed. It’s equally suspicious and ridiculously funny.
“Reo,” he whispers back. “You’re awake?”
“Evidently,” Reo scoffs, but he keeps his voice very low. “What’s wrong?”
Nagi fidgets a bit. Reo can tell; he stares hard at the dark silhouette of his best friend, catching the smallest of his movements.
“It’s cold,” Nagi ends up saying.
“The guest room?” Reo’s sure he turned on the heater, though. “Did you try increasing the—”
“The blanket’s too thin, too.”
“…Is it?”
Reo frowns, confused. He’s never had anyone use the guest room before, so maybe he forgot to check if everything was suitable for winter. He did move in just recently, after all. And Nagi can be surprisingly capricious with his comfort.
“We, uh…” He tries thinking of a fast solution. “We can switch blankets if you’d like.”
There’s a beat of silence during which Reo feels like his breathing is too loud. He stares at Nagi’s silhouette, heart pounding, and wishes he could see his eyes. Nagi’s eyes always tell so much. Maybe Reo would feel just a tad less lost, if he were able to see them.
“Nagi…?”
“Too much of a pain,” Nagi instantly replies, as if he just realised he had forgotten to speak aloud. “I’ll just sleep here.”
“Oh. Uh. Okay?”
Nagi shimmies closer, pulls up the blanket and worms his way underneath with his fluffy plaid. His body warmth immediately reaches Reo—it’s warm, so warm, so hot. And then Nagi’s icy foot grazes Reo’s ankle and he jumps, a shriek escaping him.
“Woaw,” Nagi exhales in surprise.
“Jeez, your feet are so cold,” Reo whines. “Wrap them in your plaid. I’ll, uh… I’ll take your bed. Make yourself comfortable here.”
“What? Wait, no, Reo.”
Before Reo can throw his legs out of the bed, Nagi snakes an arm around his waist and pulls him right back under the blankets, until Reo’s back is flush against Nagi’s chest. Which… okay. Okay. Not at all a development that’s freaking Reo out. His heart is definitely not knocking hard against his ribs like it wants out.
“Just stay,” Nagi whispers against his nape. His warm breath makes Reo’s hair stand on end and sends goosebumps down his spine. “Let’s just sleep like this. It’s warmer this way.”
Well. Hard to argue with this logic. It is warmer this way—maybe too warm, actually. Reo swallows hard and shifts a bit, and his breath hitches when his legs bump against Nagi’s and end up half intertwined with them. Nagi doesn’t seem to mind. He just noses the back of Reo’s neck and goes right back to sleep, like this is the most normal and comfortable position ever, and nothing to fret over.
Great. Cool. Awesome.
Reo can totally act normal over it, of course. He’s a charming guy, affectionate and open about it, and it’s not the first time he’s that close to someone. Or, well—maybe it is, at night like this, in a bed. Not to mention that it is his best friend, his partner, the one he has such strong feelings for and such complicated history with, and there’s so much they have yet to talk about, and—
Maybe he’s just incapable of being normal when it comes to Nagi.
But Nagi chose to come here and chose to do that, didn’t he? So, just this time, Reo can say fuck it. Just this time, maybe he can indulge himself without thinking about what it all could mean. He can act as if they’re back to their high school days, when neither of them ever questioned what the other did, however ambiguous it could be perceived. As if that’s just how they are. Nagi and Reo, Reo and Nagi.
He falls asleep feeling warm all over.
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Despite how late Reo ended up falling asleep, his pro-athlete schedule is deeply ingrained in him, and he wakes up before 6 A.M. out of habit. He’s numb, still tired, and he has no desire to move. It’s still dark out. His throat is a bit sore, though, and he tries to move to go get some water.
Ah, he thinks when he realises he can’t budge, right, Nagi’s here. Maybe he can wait a little longer, see if Nagi loosens his grip.
When Nagi doesn’t loosen his grip even once after a good fifteen minutes, Reo starts to slowly untangle himself, as discreetly as possible so he doesn’t wake Nagi up. It’s an arduous task given how their limbs are wrapped around one another. When he finally manages to emerge—which must have taken twenty more minutes, seriously, what is wrong with Nagi’s death grip?—he’s startled by how cold he feels. He didn’t realise how much of a furnace Nagi was against his back.
The heater hums lowly above their heads. The rays of lights coming through the blinds flicker—probably because of cars driving past. It’s a nice, cold winter night, the one just before Christmas.
“…eo…?”
Nagi’s raspy, mumbling voice catches Reo off-guard. He instinctively runs a hand through Nagi’s hair to coax him back to sleep, as if he were petting him. He can feel Nagi going slack beneath his palm.
“I’m just gonna get some water,” he whispers. “I’ll be right back.”
Nagi groans faintly against the pillow but doesn’t reply, so Reo takes it as his cue to tiptoe into the kitchen and to pour himself a glass of water.
He looks around him. There are Nagi’s shoes in the entrance. He’s dropped his coat and other winter accessories on a chair. One glove is on the floor. The rest of the popcorn they made is on the kitchen counter, and their sweet scent still lingers a bit in the air.
There are pieces of Nagi all around, discreet but here, and Reo realises that it feels natural. Maybe because there are already pieces of Nagi in his every thought, carved into his heart, and having him by his side will always feel right. He’s been walking alone for months now—except perhaps a part of him never accepted Nagi’s lock off, and he always kept him in the back of his mind, like a future in parentheses. Nagi will come back, Nagi will come back, Nagi will come back.
Nagi did come back.
When he slips back in bed, warmth welcomes him, and he can’t help but smile softly. His heart swells pleasantly as the thought echoes in his mind: Nagi’s back, Nagi’s back, Nagi’s back. Nagi’s here. With me. Mikage Reo always gets what he wants, isn’t that right?
Beneath the blankets, Nagi sighs deeply as Reo snuggles close to him, and then he sleepily lifts an arm, a clear invitation to come closer. Reo swallows hard. He hesitates less than two seconds before shuffling closer, until he’s buried against Nagi’s chest. Nagi’s arm falls back around him and his hand grazes Reo’s back—for a second, Reo thinks it’s accidental, but then Nagi’s thumb slowly moves up and down, rubbing circles between his shoulder blades, and Reo is going to pass out.
He forces himself to close his eyes and to take a deep breath. It’s okay. It’s nothing. Just two slightly estranged best friends cuddling together in bed the night before Christmas because it’s cold and they’re snowed in.
Reo buries his head deeper against Nagi’s chest, until he can hear his heartbeat. It’s strong and steady. Reassuring. Grounding.
It lulls him back to sleep.
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The next time he wakes up, Nagi’s not in bed anymore, and he’s wrapped in the blankets like a burrito. He blinks, then glances at his clock, only to see that’s it’s past 11 A.M. Holy shit. He hasn’t slept that late in forever.
He scrambles out of bed without checking himself first and is greeted by his partner juggling a ball in the living room. When he notices him, Nagi immediately stops, and the ball bounces on the floor a couple times before stopping.
“… Woaw,” Nagi mumbles in lieu of good morning—you know, like a normal, decent person would. “I didn’t know Reo could have such bed hair.”
Reo can feel blood rushing to his head and he grabs the first cushion he sees to throw it at Nagi’s head—that annoying idiot easily catches it.
“Shut up,” he grumbles as he rearranges his hair. “I don’t usually… whatever. Did you eat breakfast?”
“Nope.”
“… You’re unbelievable, you know that?”
“I didn’t wanna eat without you.”
Reo pauses at that. Warmth unfurls in his chest and he glances at Nagi with narrowed eyes. He says stuff like that so… naturally. He would have paid it no mind a couple months ago, but now he’s hyperaware of everything Nagi says or does, and it’s confusing him.
“… Huh. Is that because you’re too lazy to cook?”
“Eh… Cooking’s a pain, right…”
“Right,” Reo snorts.
He’ll make them a brunch and stop wondering if Nagi likes him back. That’s just normal, typical Nagi. None of this actually means anything.
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But if it means nothing at all, then Nagi is definitely acting super weird.
“… What are you doing?”
“I’m cold,” Nagi whispers.
He buries his nose deeper in the crook of Reo’s neck while Reo tries to prepare dinner—keyword being tries. They’ve spent the day lazing around, playing video games on Nagi’s phone and watching other dumb Christmas movies. Reo’s tried to motivate Nagi to do some exercise with him, too, but he got flatly rejected—which, to be fair, is something he should have expected.
Now it’s the evening, December 24th evening to be exact, and Reo is trying to cook fried chicken since someone threw a tantrum to have some and it’s impossible to order anything given the current state of the streets. But, well—Nagi’s glued to his back with the excuse that’s it’s cold, which Reo knows is total bullshit because he checked the temperature and he’s anything but cold himself. Not to mention that Nagi is wearing two or three layers right now, so really, that’s just…
He’s never been so clingy before, Reo thinks, troubled. That’s weird. As in, definitely weird. Or is Nagi truly that cold? They’ve never properly spent winter together, after all. Maybe Nagi is just extremely sensitive to cold.
(Or he’s just bullshitting Reo. That sounds like a much more plausible option, given how much of a brat he can be.)
“If you keep hindering me while I cook, we won’t have any fried chicken to eat,” he scolds his partner.
“Eh. You’re fine, Reo. You’re doing great.”
“Oi, you—”
Reo inhales deeply. Keep cool. Don’t lose your composure just because the idiot you may or may not be in love with refuses to let go of you like an overgrown leech. Great. He got this. Merry Christmas, or whatever.
“Did you wish Merry Christmas to the others?” he asks as a means to distract himself.
“Who?”
“Well… Chigiri, Barou, Isagi… The guys from Blue Lock. And your parents.”
“Oh. No. Do I have to?”
“I mean… You don’t have to, but it could be nice to say it to the people you care about.”
“But it’s a pain. The only one I care enough about is you, Reo, and you’re here.”
Reo’s eye twitches and he almost drops a piece of chicken on the floor. The fact that he had chicken in his fridge is a miracle to begin with, he should not mess up and waste it right now—but Nagi is making that difficult by being so… being so what, exactly? Earnest? Unknowingly flirty? Goddammit, Reo has no idea, because this type of behaviour used to not be a problem and now it is, and he wants to shake Nagi to get answers out of him, but he’s also terrified of the answers he could get, because they’ve spent so long not talking to each other and they just found back each other and it’s—
He takes a deep breath. In, out. Slowly. He won’t let Nagi drive him mad again—not after he finally managed to more or less be able to do things on his own. Not after Nagi told him himself to become the best on his own.
“Nagi.”
“Mmmh?”
“Be a good boy and help me with this, please.”
“Huh.” Nagi flinches a bit, but he’s moving before Reo can ask what’s wrong. “Okay.”
That makes Reo arche a brow. How come he’s suddenly so docile when just before, he—oh. It’s almost unnoticeable, but Reo’s too close to miss it: Nagi’s ears are pink and he looks bashful. Was it because Reo called him…? He has to bite the inside of his cheeks to refrain himself from grinning giddily. Gosh, he shouldn’t find this so cute. He’s helpless. And Nagi’s too cute.
They end up frying the chicken together, taking turns while talking about the upcoming season, Blue Lock, high school, how Chigiri’s hair routine takes too long, how many ways of rage baiting Barou Nagi has found out during Blue Lock, how annoying Ego is and how dumb Buratsuta is. Nagi doesn’t talk much about Side-B, and admittedly Reo doesn’t ask much about it, but sometimes it slips, a word or two, an innuendo, a name, a memory. Maybe, once they’re back to playing together, Nagi will tell him everything.
“What do you wanna watch tonight?”
“Eh… It’s Christmas…”
“Right. But it doesn’t mean we have to watch a Christmas movie. We’ve already watched enough of those for a life time I think, seriously, I’m sick of it! But, well, if you wanna watch one, we could probably find a fun one we haven’t seen yet, and—”
“I wanna watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.”
Reo pauses as he was filling two bowls with the fried chicken they made. When he glances at Nagi, his partner is looking at him earnestly, eyes ablaze with something Reo can’t quite put a name on—or is too afraid to name altogether.
“Your… Isn’t that your favourite film?”
“Yeah. I like rewatching it on Christmas. Have you watched it before, Reo?”
“Huh… No, actually, but I know more or less what it is about, since it’s so famous. It’s this broken up couple who tries to artificially forget each other, right? Because they’re too hurt? And this company that makes money out of erasing memories…”
“It’s much more than that,” Nagi huffs like a film snob, which he definitely isn’t, Reo knows that much. “Let’s watch it.”
Reo scoffs and shakes his head, but he can’t help the fondness that seeps into his voice, “Yeah, sure. Let’s watch your favourite movie, treasure.”
He turns back to the fried chicken to finish putting it in their two bowls, sighing when he thinks of the oily stuff he’ll have to clean later. When he spins around to join Nagi on the couch, where he fully expected his best friend to already be sprawled over, he’s surprised to see him still in front of him, frozen and eyes glassy.
“Nagi…?”
“Uh—” Nagi quickly rubs the heel of his palm on his eyes, but he sounds slightly choked up. “It’s, uh—”
Reo immediately puts down the bowls of fried chicken on the kitchen counter and enters Nagi’s space in two quick steps, barely hesitating before grabbing his wrists to pull his hands off his face. Nagi is… pouting, but it’s different from his usual, childish pout. This one looks more vulnerable. His ears and his cheekbones are pink, his eyes are wet, and Reo feels the overwhelming urge to take care of him. He wants to cradle him and kiss him. He wants to whisper tender words to him and coddle him. It’s dizzying how much someone can make affection burst into your chest to the point that it feels like too much.
“Hey—” Reo cups his cheeks delicately. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
Nagi shakes his head timidly. Reo frowns.
“Seriously, Nagi, it’s only me here, you can tell me if—”
“It’s just… uh…” Nagi interrupts himself, as if he doesn’t really know how to choose his words. “It’s just… You called me, hum… treasure.”
Reo blinks at him, confused.
“Well… Yeah… It’s not the first time I did that.”
“I know. But I got locked off, and you’ve never called me that again since I came back, so I thought…”
“… You thought I didn’t think of you as my treasure anymore?”
Nagi nods weakly, and Reo feels a tender sort of ache in his chest. They’re both idiots, aren’t they? Drowning in insecurities that shouldn’t exist, caring so much for the other yet always trying to be enough on their own.
“Yeah, well, you thought wrong,” Reo chuckles lightly, rubbing his thumb over Nagi’s cheekbone. “You’ll always be my treasure, okay?”
Lips pinched tightly, Nagi nods again, and Reo has to fight himself to finally let him go instead of kissing him breathless. He licks his lips, which makes Nagi’s eyes flicker down to them, and Reo takes a step back as if he were burnt. His face feels on fire.
“You’ll always be my treasure,” he repeats softly, as a means to ground them both, but mostly himself. “Now let’s watch your movie and eat your fried chicken. Gosh, you really have to have it your way, huh?”
“Reo always has it his way, usually,” Nagi huffs teasingly. “We’re switching.”
“As if I didn’t indulge you before. Stop rewriting history, idiot.”
“I’m a creature that grows when it’s being spoiled,” Nagi retorts matter-of-factly. “Besides, you like spoiling me, Reo.”
“Oh yeah? Maybe I’ll stop liking it if you keep abusing my good will,” Reo hisses back like a cat as he takes the two bowls of fried chicken.
“Mmmh…” Nagi slouches on the couch while acting like he’s thinking hard about it. He waits for Reo to sit next to him, then he takes a piece of fried chicken and calmly concludes, “I don’t think so.”
“You—” Reo scoffs at the goddamn audacity. “Your entitlement is seriously crazy, you know that?”
Nagi lets his head rest on the back of the couch, fluffy mop of white hair sprawling over it like snow, and his huge, black eyes stare at Reo adorably. Like a puppy. Does he realise how cute he is and take advantage of it, or is Reo just too far gone? It’s hard to tell, at this point.
“But Reo’s the one who said I’ll always be his treasure. You can’t take it back now.”
“… Whatever,” Reo grumbles, cheeks on fire. “Put on your goddamn movie before I change my mind.”
“Yaaay.”
Reo sinks down the couch, under the blankets Nagi has pulled over them, and starts eating his fried chicken. Nagi shifts on the couch, changing positions, and suddenly their arms are pressed together. Reo doesn’t dare move an inch, absentmindedly looking at the screen as Nagi hits play.
It’s not that Reo doesn’t want to pay attention to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, he does, because it’s Nagi’s favourite movie, but—well, it’s just hard to focus. First because his arm is burning where it touches Nagi’s; second because there’s something in Joel and Clementine’s love story that settles uncomfortably in his chest, a nauseating sense of déjà-vu he wishes he could unsee.
By the time they reach the middle of the movie, they’ve both finished eating. Their bowls are put on the coffee table in front of them, they’ve wiped their greasy fingers clean on some napkins, and now there’s just warmth and sleepiness between them. Joel is going through his own memories, realising he wants to keep them, and the knot in Reo’s lungs grows bigger. Next to him, Nagi yawns and stretches like a cat, probably unfazed since he’s seen this movie tons of times.
Reo wonders why Nagi likes this film so much. Or when he started liking it, exactly. What drew him to this story? To these characters? Does he see himself in them? Does he…
Reo’s thoughts are interrupted and his brain turns static when Nagi’s right arm drops on the back of the couch, just behind him. Fingertips graze his shoulder, tentative, and a spike of warmth runs through him. He risks a quick glance to Nagi; his best friend is still watching the film, looking as nonchalant and sleepy as ever. Reo blinks rapidly and tries to refocus. Alright. Alright. Maybe it’s nothing—
Nagi squirms a little, bumping their thighs together, and his arm fully slides around Reo’s shoulders. On the screen, Joel is running. Maybe that’s part of why Reo feels out of breath—why his breath hitches. He’s not sure what he should do. Nagi’s never… They have never… acted like that with each other. They were close, sure. Physically close. But never… flirty-like-in-a-romcom type of close. This is uncharted territory.
When Nagi starts rubbing slow circles on his shoulder, Reo has to take a deep breath, or he’s sure that his heart will jump out of his chest. This… is definitely flirting, right? That’s the stuff he’d do with a girl if he wanted to flirt like in the movies, at least. And Nagi… Nagi definitely has no experience in flirting beside movies, so that tracks. It sounds logical. Reo just has to wrap his mind around the fact that Nagi is flirting with him.
He wets his lips, trying and failing to focus on the end of the movie, then slowly leans back against Nagi until his head rests on his shoulder. He can feel Nagi stiffening for a second, then fully relaxing, and soon there’s a cheek resting atop his hair. They watch what’s left of the movie in this position.
“Did you like it?” Nagi whispers when the credits roll.
“…I think so,” Reo whispers back. “I’m surprised it’s your fav movie, though. I wouldn’t have guessed it at all.”
“It’s romantic. I like it.”
“Oh-ho?” Reo lifts his head just enough so he can look at Nagi’s face teasingly. “Didn’t know you were so romantic. My treasure’s so full of surprises.”
Nagi averts his gaze, a faint pout on the lips, the tips of his ears turning an adorable shade of pink. His hand twitches nervously where it still rests on Reo’s shoulder.
“You’re being shy, now?” Reo keeps teasing him. “Come on. We gotta clean a little before going to bed.”
Cooking the fried chicken took them more time than anticipated, then they watched the movie, and now it’s late—at least according to Reo’s standards: since he gets up early, he never goes to bed late.
Nagi sighs as dramatically as possible to convey just how much he does not want to move and clean. Reo can already hear the whiny ‘It’s a pain, Reo’ rolling off his tongue, so he sends a bossy glare to his partner to make him understand that he has no choice. If possible, Nagi sighs harder—but he does comply.
It’s half past midnight when they finally trail back to the bedrooms. Reo opens his door and pauses when he notices Nagi glued to his back, clearly following him. He sends him a questioning look, to which Nagi just responds, “Warmer here”. Reo folds in mere seconds.
“Reo,” Nagi murmurs again once they’re tucked in bed.
“Mh?”
“Merry Christmas.”
A grin tugs at Reo’s lips.
“Yeah. Merry Christmas, Nagi.”
Having you here back with me is the only gift I need. Even if they still have a lot to talk about, even if Nagi stayed only because of the weather, even if he could technically be greedier than that. It’s alright, though. He’s seen what being too greedy did to their partnership. He doesn’t want to risk it again.
“Reo,” Nagi says again, a whisper in the dark, just when Reo was starting to doze off.
“What?”
“Come closer. You’re too far.”
Reo’s heart skips a beat. He tries to map out Nagi’s face in the dark, and then he shuffles closer, familiarity embracing him as Nagi wraps his arm around him just like he did the previous night. Doing that on Christmas night—a romantic date in Japan—somehow makes the moment twice as troubling for Reo as the day before. He didn’t have any planned date, but he has Nagi instead. He’s sharing a bed with Nagi during Christmas. They’re cuddling in bed during Christmas.
Nagi hugs him tighter, moving around in the bed until their legs tangle, and he gently knocks their heads together. Reo irrationally fears that Nagi can hear his heartbeat, with how strongly his heart is pounding. It echoes in his head. In his whole body. It makes him breathe quicker. It’s so scary to be so close to what you want, when you’re convinced you can’t have it.
“Reo,” Nagi exhales softly against his face.
“Yeah?” Reo whispers back just as low, just as softly.
There’s no reply. Nagi presses their foreheads together, half rubbing against Reo’s like a cat. He tangles their legs even more, locks their ankles together, and breathes slowly against Reo’s mouth. It burns in a way that makes Reo’s mind go fuzzy. He wishes he could see Nagi. He wishes he could look into his moonstone eyes, he wishes he could see how his bangs fall unevenly around him, he wishes he could see if Nagi’s ears are pink.
But there’s also something so dizzyingly perfect in not being able to see him. In only being able to feel him. The brush of his skin along his feet. The weight of his arm around his waist. The touch of his fingers on his back. The warmth of his breath against his lips.
And then their noses brush, just slightly, just tentatively. They both barely breathe, but they’re so close and the silence is so heavy that it sounds so loud in Reo’s ears. Nagi audibly gulps. His lips graze the corner of Reo’s. It’s a featherlight touch, but it sends goosebumps down Reo’s whole body, and he lets out a quivering exhale. Nagi seems to hesitate for a couple seconds. Then his lips graze the same spot, just a little more to the right, a little closer to Reo’s lips—so Reo tilts his head just enough for their mouths to fully meet.
For a second, Nagi seems surprised and troubled; then he presses down in earnest, kissing Reo like it’s his only chance to do so. Reo lets out a muffled sound against his mouth, and then fists Nagi’s shirt and kisses him back with absolute abandon, pulling him closer, closer, closer. Nagi makes them roll on the bed just enough so he can lie on top of Reo, their bodies flush together, so close it feels like they’re merging.
How warm. How hot. Reo feels like he’s burning.
Nagi kisses him on instinct, clearly lost and running on gut feeling, pressing hard their mouths together, leaving open-mouthed kisses on Reo’s lips, Reo’s chin, Reo’s jaw. Reo pants, overwhelmed, and kisses him back just as hard, but with more purpose; he sucks and nibbles at Nagi’s bottom lip, swallows the weak whimper it draws out of him, then peppers Nagi’s neck with hot, feverish kisses. Nagi trembles above him before mimicking him: biting lips, sucking skin, leaving a trail of burning kisses down Reo’s neck.
It's exhilarating. Reo feels so high on their kisses that he can’t say a word. He burrows his hands in Nagi’s hair and tugs lightly, electrified when he feels the way Nagi’s breath hitches as a result.
Their mouths find back each other and they exchange sloppier kisses, just basking in the other’s touch and presence. Reo caresses the base of Nagi’s nape with his fingertips; Nagi strokes Reo’s temple with his thumb. Their kisses turn all soft and gentle, just slow pecks, until they simply rest their foreheads together. Even though the room is almost pitch black, Reo swears he can see Nagi’s tender expression.
“Nagi,” he whispers adoringly, cupping his cheek with one hand.
His partner immediately leans in his palm, even nuzzles against it, like that’s where he’s the most at peace.
“Reo,” he replies in a murmur. “I love you.”
Christmas is made of love and presents. Reo got both at the same time, through one person only. He brings Nagi’s face down to kiss him again—a long, slow, soft kiss. His heart swells in his chest like a balloon and he has to breathe deeply to steady himself.
“I love you too.”
Nagi immediately buries his face in the crook of Reo’s neck and holds him tight against him. Reo chuckles and hugs him back, cheeks hurting from how big his smile is, and he noses Nagi’s hair lovingly.
It’s the off-season, and soon, they’ll be playing together again. But for now they’re alone at Reo’s place, stuck in their bubble, happiness oozing from them, and Reo thinks he’s never had a better Christmas.
When they’re not snowed in anymore, maybe he could ask Nagi to stay.