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Their train pulls into the station, illuminating the rugged and snow-covered Hokkaido countryside in swathes of blue and white. It’d be beautiful… if Izuku were paying attention.
Instead, he’s refreshing Musutafu news stories for the umpteenth time since they left eight hours ago. Next to him, Kacchan types out yet another unanswered text to his assistant, an emphatic, JUST GIMME A DAMN UPDATE!!!
Kacchan looks up with a scowl, shielding Izuku’s view of his phone by holding it to his chest. “We spend every fucking day together, and you still can’t stop yourself from creeping.”
Izuku snorts. “You just told me fifteen minutes ago to stop refreshing the news, but you’ve been bothering Tanaka-san about the agency this whole time?”
Kacchan zips up his heavy winter coat, pulls his hat over his ears, and stands up to grab his suitcase from the overhead shelf, stepping aside so Izuku can retrieve his as well.
“You grabbed the suit just in case, right?” Kacchan asks.
Izuku laughs as he grabs the sleek, well-made suitcase the Bakugous got him as part of their belated wedding present. “You know I did.”
Kacchan keeps yapping behind him as they disembark onto the snowy platform. “It couldn’t hurt to double-check—”
“I already quadruple checked,” Izuku says, appreciating Kacchan’s perfectionist tendencies. They roll their luggage through the warm, brightly lit station. “Plus, I think everybody’s right. There’s not much of a chance of us running into a villain in a sleepy onsen town like Noboribetsu.”
Kacchan scoffs as he holds the door open for Izuku and they head out onto the main street of the town. “That’s what I said about Nabu Island.”
The Bakugous, ever the fastidious planners, prebooked a private shuttle service their ryokan provided. Taxi rides are almost always awkward for pro heroes—especially pro heroes known for defeating AFO and Shigaraki over a live, worldwide broadcast. Once their luggage is loaded and they’re on their way, it takes about twelve seconds for a palpable, strained silence to fall over the car.
“All—All Might stayed with us once.” Their driver, Mr. Hitsuari, one of the owners of the ryokan and an older man with narrow glasses and a head of thick, white hair and a bushy mustache to match, glances back at them from the rear view mirror.
“Whoa, that’s so cool!” Izuku leans forward in his seat, gripping the back of the passenger’s chair. “Isn’t that cool, Kacchan?”
There’s a light blush on Kacchan's cheeks. Or maybe it’s just the cold. “We’re not in his room, are we?”
Izuku looks at Kacchan like he’s grown a second head. “What’re you talking about? That’d be amazing!”
“Your booking is for All Might’s room,” Mr. Hitsuari gulps. “It’s the nicest in the ryokan. Is there a problem?”
“No!” Izuku squeaks. “No problem at all!”
Kacchan slams his arm against Izuku’s chest, pushing his back against the seat. In a loud, harsh whisper, he says, “I don’t wanna fuck in the same room All Might slept!”
Izuku wants to melt into the car seats. “Sorry, sir. Kacchan’s still working on his inside voice.”
“Don’t patronize me!” Kacchan barks.
“Don’t insult the people we’re patronizing!”
“It’s been remodeled!” Having spent too much time looking in the rear-view mirror, Mr. Hitsuari barely corrects his steering before he careens off the road. “Deku, Dynamight—I’m so sorry! I promise, your experience so far is not indicative of the service at our ryokan.”
Being pro heroes, Izuku and Kacchan barely flinch, even as they’re slammed shoulder-first into the car doors.
“Haah?” Kacchan tilts his head with the audacity of a cat. “I don’t care if you crash—I’m more worried about the All Might room.”
“Kacchan—”
“Everything has been remodeled since then,” the man insists. “New beds, new baths, new flooring. It won’t even look like the same room.”
“You’ve gotta have others available,” Kacchan grumbles, folding his arms over his chest as he sinks into the back seat.
“Only a couple standard rooms without private onsens,” the man says. “But if you’d like—”
“No!” Izuku interjects. “The All Might room is perfect, promise!” He needs a private onsen. He needs to fuck Kacchan in geothermal waters. It’s on his sex bucket list.
They arrive at the ryokan—a gorgeous, traditional building built on a hill and swathed in steam from the surrounding pools. As they pull their suitcases out of the trunk, Izuku admires the snowcovered mountains that surround them. The sun’s nearly set, but he can’t wait to see them in the daytime.
The man opens the door for them, ushering them into the lobby, where a young, college-aged woman stands behind the desk. Her back is ruler-straight, and her shaking fingers fly over the keyboard of her computer without actually pressing down on the keys. “Checking in?”
“Yes, Miss,” Izuku says.
Kacchan just grunts.
“Names?” she asks.
The older man, sweeping the snow from the genkan, lets out a bark of a laugh. “Don’t be coy, Sagi. You had a DynaDeku Dream Team poster in your room until you were sixteen.”
Sagi’s face turns stoplight red, clashing harshly with her pink hair. She types something on her keyboard. Deletes. Types again. “I—I have you down for seven nights in the—the Deluxe L-Lovers’ Suite?”
“Don’t worry—it wasn’t the Lovers’ Suite when All Might stayed there,” Mr. Hitsuari adds.
Kacchan lets out a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank fuck.”
Sagi slides their key cards across the counter so fast they fly straight past Izuku and Kacchan and tink to the floor.
Kacchan bends over at the hips to pick them up, giving Izuku ample time to admire his ass, which he intends to destroy as soon as dinner’s settled.
When Kacchan hands Izuku his keycard, their fingertips linger pressed together for a little too long. It’s like a bolt of electricity straight to Izuku’s dick. Kacchan’s subtle wink doesn’t make it any better.
Demolish. That. Ass.
“You’re in Room 12. Down the hall, to the right—last door at the very end.” Sagi looks like she’s about to hurl.
Izuku knows that feeling well; it still happens when he meets international pros for the first time. He gives her a small, polite bow. “Thank you, Miss Hitsuari.”
With that, they wheel their suitcases to their room. Kacchan unlocks the door, the soft light within revealing a gorgeous, comfortingly room full of earthy tones—
“Oh, fuck this.”
—decked out in photos of All Might from his time at the ryokan.
Izuku shuts the door behind him. “Whoa, check out that one!” He points to a photo of All Might helping rearrange the boulders around an outdoor onsen.
“Why is he only wearing a towel?” Kacchan says. “I thought this was the Lovers’ Suite!”
“Lots of people find All Might attractive,” Izuku says. “He's only, what, a decade older than us in these pictures. You really don’t see it?”
Kacchan pales. “You do?”
“I mean, objectively, All Might twenty years ago was unconventionally attractive. And he's allowed to be a sexual being—”
Before Izuku can finish his thought, Kacchan screams, “No more bedroom All Might talk!” and tackles him onto the bed and pins him by the shoulders. Izuku bursts into a fit of laughter, and Kacchan's mouth is a squiggly line, like he's barely holding back laughter.
Fuck, Izuku loves spending time away with Kacchan, where he’s relaxed. Where he puts his guard down. Where he is totally, undeniably himself.
Izuku wants to bring that out more. He digs his fingers into Kacchan’s sides and tickles him aggressively.
“I’m gonna kill you!” Kacchan bursts into a fit of laughter, buckling over and rolling onto the bed. If there’s one thing Izuku knows, it’s that Kacchan has absolutely not control over his body when he’s tickled.
“Gotcha,” Izuku says fondly, kissing up Kacchan’s neck.
Kacchan lets out shy little gasps as he catches his breath, sinking into Izuku’s touch.
Yeah, that's right. Kacchan gets shy. He doesn't let most people see that side of him, but Izuku considers it an absolute honor that he lets his truest self out when they're alone.
Kacchan cards his fingers through Izuku’s curls, pulling him into a brief but sensual kiss before gently bumping their foreheads together. Even this close, Izuku can see the sparkle of a smile in Kacchan’s eyes. With a soft voice, Kacchan says, “Dinner’s gonna be here soon, you pervert.”
“C’mon… we have time for a quickie.” Izuku reaches for Kacchan’s belt, but Kacchan grips his wrist so tight it’s painful.
“We’ve got a whole week for our honeymoon,” Kacchan says. “A week’s fucking vacation. Like, literally a fucking vacation.”
Though they’re both sporting half chubs (Izuku very clearly felt Kacchan’s earlier), Izuku relents. As much as he doesn’t want to keep it in his pants, he’d be pretty embarrassed if they got caught with their pants down when dinner came.
Instead, they pry themselves off the plush bed to get their blood flowing elsewhere, opting to explore the rest of the extensive suite.
At the center of the dining area sits a simple but well-made chabudai with rose petals sprinkled over the surface. The shoji doors filter soft yellow light across the tatami mats, and the quiet of the mountain village makes Izuku feel like he’s stepped back centuries.
“It’s gotta be out this way.” Kacchan slides the door open, revealing a large, deep pool with steam rising from its warm waters. The pool itself looks like a natural part of the landscape, like the hotel room was designed around the hotspring itself rather than the water being transported from somewhere else. The surrounding garden rocks and trees are shrouded in snow, making the onsen appear even more like a haven of warmth.
So, yeah. Absolutely breathtaking. They’re definitely fucking in that pool after dinner.
As Izuku kneels down to dip his hand in the water, a knock comes to the suite door. He and Kacchan head back inside and greet the same young woman who checked them in. This time, she’s wheeling a food cart with an assortment of trays with bamboo warming covers.
“Room service,” she says flatly.
“Thanks, Miss Hitsuari.” Izuku rings his hands, grinning widely at Kacchan. “I can’t believe it. This is so cool.”
Kacchan rolls his eyes, but his smile is fond and good-natured.
“What?” Izuku says.
Kacchan laughs. “It’s just cute, you being excited about room service.”
Okay, did Izuku somehow fall asleep making out with Kacchan? Because he’s definitely not one to use a word like cute to describe Izuku—or even a goddamn puppy—in front of other people. He must really have vacation brain.
Hitsuari clears her throat.
Right. Izuku kinda forgot she was there. Sometimes it’s hard not to get caught up in Kacchan’s incredible presence, or to remember that other people exist at all.
“Sorry,” Izuku steps aside. “Come on in.”
“Thank you,” Hitsuari says quietly as she wheels the cart to the dining area, keeping her eyes focused on it the whole time.
Izuku can’t stand awkward silences. “We’re really loving the ryokan so far.”
“Mm.”
Hitsuari begins placing the trays on the chabudai as Kacchan takes a seat at the low chair.
“Oi, sit down—you’re being weird,” Kacchan says.
Izuku gulps, quickly sliding into the spot across from Kacchan. “Sorry.”
With her lip twitching slightly, Hitsuari removes the bamboo covers from the trays, revealing an ornate and colorful spread of small and intricately crafted dishes. Izuku’s eyes flit over colorful pumpkin squares, octopus drizzled in a vibrant red sauce, a cozy pot of abalone steamed rice, and a deep orange egg custard.
Finally, she pulls out a wine bucket, two glasses, and a corkscrew. With an emotionless deadpan, Hitsuari says, “Hokkaido sparkling white wine made from Niagara grapes.”
“That vintage?” Kacchan asks.
Hitsuari looks at the bottle. “No.”
In an attempt to quell some of the awkwardness as Hitsuari prepares their drinks, Izuku sticks out his leg and wiggles his toes against Kacchan’s knee. Before he knows it, he’s gotten Kacchan doing that wobbly little smile he only wears when he’s in public trying to hold back genuine happiness.
Izuku’s heart absolutely soars. He’s so used to getting half-hearted mumbles and gripes from Kacchan when he gets even the smallest bit affectionate in front of other people. “You’ve always been so ticklish,” Izuku grins.
Kacchan scrunches his nose up, but he doesn’t complain.
This is… perfect.
At least, until Hitsuari heaves an exasperated sigh halfway through pouring their wine.
Okay, maybe Izuku’s laying it on a little too thick while they have company trying to serve them food.
“This is a family business, yeah?” Izuku asks.
Hitsuari sets their glasses on the table. “Yup.”
“How long have you—”
She slams the wine bucket down on the table. “Enjoy your dinner.”
The tension dissipates from the room the moment Hitsuari shuts the door behind her. Izuku tries to put the weird interaction out of his mind and focus on dinner instead.
By the time he and Kacchan dig into their egg custard, Izuku has to say something, because try as he might, he can’t get his attempted conversation with Hitsuari out of his head.
Izuku sets down his chopsticks and takes a deep breath. “Do you think Hitsuari’s just embarrassed about what her dad said? Or is something else going on?”
Kacchan shrugs. “She’s probably just starstruck. Imagine if your mom had been there when you met All Might and told him all about your obsession.”
“Not a good comparison,” Izuku says. “I told All Might about my obsession all on my own.”
“‘Course you did,” Kacchan smiles, dabbing at his lips with a napkin. “She seems more like I used to be, though. I pretended like I wasn’t completely obsessed with All Might when we first started high school. Too cool for hero worship or whatever.”
“Eh, it didn’t take that long for you to get over it.”
“True. I just kinda had to die to embrace it.”
They burst into laughter, and if that makes them kind of insane, well… Izuku’s known that for years.
Neither Kacchan nor Izuku are big drinkers, so it’s not long before they’re both tipsy off a single bottle of wine and Kacchan’s leaning over the table, looking at Izuku through glassy eyes.
Izuku loves when Kacchan leans over like this, especially when he’s wearing a tank top and Izuku can gaze upon the generous expanse of his chest and his rippling biceps. Unfortunately, it’s winter, so Kacchan’s wearing a hoodie. Izuku has to get that hoodie off. The sooner, the better.
He gets his wish less than five minutes later, when he and Kacchan strip one another of every scrap of clothing on their way to the onsen. Kacchan walks backwards as he descends the steps into the warm, soothing water, leading Izuku by the hand. They sink down to their shoulders, lips coming together in steamy, humid kisses. In that moment, Izuku feels it. Finally, their honeymoon is coming together.
Izuku wraps his hand around Kacchan’s stiff, girthy cock, working his length with expert precision. Kacchan’s head falls back when he gasps, and Izuku takes the opportunity to lap at the water trickling down his neck. Kacchan’s skin is salty, sweet, divine.
Lips ghosting over Kacchan’s ear, Izuku whispers, “I bet I can give a blowjob underwater longer than you.”
Kacchan lifts his head. Turns towards Izuku. “I’d like to see you try.”
“Wait—we don’t have a timer.”
“We’ll count!”
“Okay, but it has to be like ‘one-dot-dot, two-dot-dot. No other systems. For consistency.”
“Less talking, more sucking!”
“But are you gonna count like tha—”
Izuku has mere moments to heave as deep a breath as he can, because Kacchan’s dunking his head underwater. But Izuku can’t hesitate—his years in the field have taught him that. He grabs Kacchan's hips to keep himself underwater. His mouth finds its way to Kacchan’s cock easily—he knows the route like the back of his hand.
He wraps his lips around Kacchan’s beautiful, thick cock and sucks.
Or at least, he tries. Turns out, it’s hard giving a blowjob when you have to conserve the limited air in your lungs. Mostly, he slides his mouth up and down Kacchan’s dick and stops himself from floating to the surface. Izuku doesn’t know how long he’s down there before his lungs start to burn, but he pushes past it. It’s the only way to beat Kacchan. Only when his stomach gurgles painfully and his mind starts to go fuzzy around the edges does Izuku come up, gulping the sweet relief the cold winter air provides.
“Fifty-six seconds,” Kacchan says.
Dammit. So close to a minute. Izuku nods, still catching his breath. “How was it?”
Kacchan hesitates. “Honestly? Kinda weird. But it’s still your mouth on my dick, which is always great. You ready for me?”
Izuku laughs. “What kinda question is that?”
With a wicked smirk, Kacchan plunges his head underwater and seeks out Izuku’s cock.
“One-dot-dot, two-dot-dot,” Izuku counts under his breath. And, okay, he sees what Kacchan meant about this being kinda weird. Izuku’s cock was already warm and wet before Kacchan wrapped his mouth around it, and Kacchan seems to be struggling with getting the suction right, too.
“Eighteen-dot-dot, nineteen-dot-dot…” Izuku’s stomach gives another low, painful gurgle as a wave of nausea washes over him. He’d tried to chalk it up to the lack of oxygen, but now he’s starting to think something else is going on.
Guuuur—grrrrlp.
Oh, no.
For perhaps the first time in his life, Izuku retracts his cock from one of Kacchan’s holes before he cums. Half running and half swimming, he darts to the steps and heaves his naked ass out of the onsen.
A woosh of water as Kacchan surfaces. “The fuck? Get back here! I wasn’t done! You can’t just back out!”
Izuku looks back apologetically. “Sorry! Bathroom! I’ll come right back!”
Izuku does not, in fact, come right back. He’s in and out of the bathroom until the wee hours of the morning, and when he’s finally done, it feels like his innards have been wrung out like an old washcloth.
After the first few rounds, Kacchan ordered some Seirogan, but it was no use. Izuku’s bowels were rebelling against him, and there was nothing he could do about it.
When what Izuku hopes is the last wave finally ends, he crawls into bed, sore and exhausted.
Kacchan turns over and blinks at him sleepily. “How ya feeling?”
“Like I shouldn’t’ve eaten that train sushi.”
Kacchan gives him a teasing little smile. “I’m not gonna say I told you so.”
“You have every right to,” Izuku says. “I ruined the first night of our honeymoon.”
“Nope, we’re not doing that.” Kacchan scoots close to Izuku and presses their foreheads together. “We had a great dinner, we’re in this awesome room—creepy All Might pictures aside—and we have the whole week ahead of us. Just stay away from sketchy, old train sushi, and everything will be fine.”
The next morning, Izuku feels great. His stomach’s still a little tender, but he hasn’t had any other… incidents, so he feels safe enough to go out. They’d planned to hike out to view the local geysers, but they opt to do that later in the week and do a date day at the aquarium instead. For dinner, they stop at a local ramen shop.
By the time they get back to the ryokan, Izuku feels like himself again.
They pass Hitsuari at the front counter on the way back to their room. Izuku offers her a polite, “Hello!” but she just ignores him and pretends to type at her computer again.
Whatever. Izuku’s not going to let one gloomy person ruin his honeymoon—not when he’s married to the most incredible man on the planet.
The moment they’ve locked the bedroom door behind them, Izuku and Kacchan are all over each other. Shit, they’ve only been at the ryokan about twenty-four hours, but this is supposed to be a fucking vacation, and all they’ve done so far is grind their half chubs together and give short underwater blowjobs.
They strip out of their clothes in moments, and Kacchan spreads his limber, muscular body across the bed, his hard cock sitting heavy on his stomach. “How d’you want me?”
“Shit, Kacchan—just like that.” Izuku crawls up the bed and envelops Kacchan’s body with his own. He licks his palm and works both their cocks together, reveling in the way Kacchan arches off the bed every time Izuku’s thumb teases the slit of his dick.
“Fuck… need you,” Kacchan says with a breathless edge to his voice that only Izuku has the privilege of hearing. It makes Izuku want to make sweet love to Kacchan and absolutely wreck him at the same time.
He’s too desperate for much foreplay—they both are. So Izuku grabs the industrial sized bottle of lube from his suitcase and dribbles some on his fingers. Kacchan puts a pillow under his ass and spreads his legs like the wanton slut he becomes the moment Izuku pulls out his dick.
It doesn’t take long for Izuku to soften the muscle and sink his fingers into Kacchan’s amazingly stretchy and ever-pliant hole, reminiscing about how long this used to take—how Kacchan grunted and whined as Izuku slowly and painstakingly opened him up.
“Kacchan’s such a pro at this,” Izuku croons, moving his fingers faster and letting the sloppy, slick sounds fill the room. He doesn’t strictly need to add a third finger—nor a fourth—but Izuku can never resist the urge to split Kacchan open. The fourth finger gets a little whimper when Izuku presses hard down on Kacchan’s prostate, and Kacchan full-on whines when Izuku pulls out to lube up his own cock.
“Aww, don’t worry, Kacchan,” Izuku soothes, slathering on a generous amount of lube. “I love you. I’d never leave you empty for long.”
Izuku shifts forward, letting his dick catch on Kacchan’s rim and slide across his taint.
“Really?” Kacchan grumbles. HIs face is a pink, flushed mess already. It makes Izuku’s cock throb. “You’re gonna pull this teasing bullshit on our honeymoon?”
“Shh…” Izuku runs gentle fingers along Kacchan’s thighs. He’s so cute when he gets all flustered.
But maybe Izuku should be nice… for now. Slowly, he sinks his cock into Kacchan’s tight, slippery heat.
And wow… Okay, that’s a lot of heat. Actually, it kind of feels like Izuku’s dick is getting hotter the longer he’s inside.
“Umm… Kacchan? Did you learn how to control your quirk with your asshole?”
“The fuck are you talking about? I think you got the wrong lube.” Kacchan looks equally uncomfortable, his hole clenching vice tight around Izuku. With the strange change in temperature, it’s like his cock’s stuck inside a pressure cooker.
Izuku picks up the bottle. It’s the same run-of-the-mill, boring, water-based lube they always use. He shows it to Kacchan, who bats it away.
“Get your dick out of me!” Kacchan rolls to the side, and Izuku’s cock slips out. It’s the first time it’s actually felt better to be outside of Kacchan than in.
But his dick is still on fire. And still hard as a rock. Look, Kacchan is naked; Izuku can’t help it!
Kacchan jumps off the bed, his big, useless dick spinning like a helicopter as he heaves open the double doors to the onsen.
Brilliant. Kacchan is the smartest person Izuku’s ever met.
Izuku darts after him, and together, they jump into the warm, soothing water to wash away the lube that must’ve been made for Satan himself.
The moment his cock hits the water, Izuku relaxes—
—for less than a nanosecond.
“Ahhh!” he yelps, jumping straight out of the water like a cat. He scrambles out of the pool and grabs a handful of snow, rubbing it against his groin, trying to do anything to quell the heat. “It’s like somebody wrapped my dick in Salonpas!”
During Izuku’s panic, Kacchan must’ve had the same problem. Thankfully, instead of shoving snow up his ass, he stands naked, wet, and shivering just outside the pool, “I… don’t wanna hear shit about your stupid horse cock when it feels like Todoroki used his quirk to give me an enema!”
Jealousy rages in Izuku’s chest, overriding the sensation in his fiery, now soft cock. “You let Todoroki—”
“No, dumbass! It’s an expression!”
“I’m pretty sure there’s no expression involving the number three hero and enemas.”
Growling through his teeth, Kacchan stalks back into the hotel room, Izuku following close behind.
Kacchan disappears into the bathroom and comes back with two big, fluffy towels, whipping one straight at Izuku’s head.
Kacchan is so caring—and cute.
“How’s your dick?” Kacchan scrubs his towel against his waterlogged hair.
“Still hurts.” Izuku wraps the towel around his shoulders and settles on the bed. “How’s your butt?”
Kacchan sits next to him, wincing a little. He picks up the bottle of lube and glares at it like it killed his whole family. “The manufacturers of Slippery Slope Scentless, Water-Based Lube are getting an earful from me tomorrow. They’d better fuckin’ order a recall, or I’ll show up at their factory in Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight mode.”
Izuku sighs. “I guess we just need to wait it out. Wanna watch something?”
“That blowtorch enema took a lot outta me. I’m gonna try and get some sleep.” Kacchan turns off the bedside lamp and rests his shoulder on Izuku’s head.
Izuku fiddles with Kacchan’s hair as he drifts off to sleep. They still have plenty of their honeymoon left, and he’s determined to not let anything go wrong tomorrow.
Unfortunately, Kacchan is the type of sleeper who has a tendency to take over the entire bed, so Izuku’s jolted awake early in the morning when Kacchan whacks him in the face with his arm. There’s no chance in hell Izuku can drift off again once his sweet, loving husband sleep sucker punches him.
After checking his messages and scrolling a few news pages (no major emergencies in Musutafu, thankfully), Izuku takes a shower, brews some coffee, and sips at it while he lounges in the chair by the bed. No, he doesn’t choose that spot because Kacchan looks like the calmest, most perfect angel when he sleeps. Izuku is completely normal about his husband, thank you.
While (not) watching Kacchan, Izuku’s eyes drift back to the All Might pictures decorating the bedroom. All Might with a younger Mr. Hitsuari standing outside the ryokan. All Might with his big, signature smile as he tucks into a gorgeous spread of Kaiseki Ryori.
When he looks over the big, blown up picture of All Might rearranging the boulders, Izuku swears he sees a little red flash of light in All Might’s eye. Probably just a car brake light filtering into the dark room, but Izuku has a weird feeling about it in his gut. He keeps his focus on the spot, waiting to see if it happens again. After several minutes, he closes his eyes to shake the cobwebs from his head. He’s been stressed and not sleeping enough—it has to be paranoia.
Izuku picks up his empty coffee cup and gets to his feet.
He takes one step forward when he sees it again. A little red blink by All Might’s left eye.
Paranoia or not, Izuku needs to know. He sets the cup back down and approaches the picture, gripping the edges of the half-meter-long frame and easing it off the wall.
Izuku nearly drops it.
Arms shaking, he sets the precious, priceless picture on the ground and inspects the small hole in the wall, telling himself that maybe the owners just hung it there to hide the damage. There’s only one hole Izuku has any interest in sticking his hands in, and it’s certainly not this one. He reaches towards it slowly, telling himself that he’ll find nothing but dust and support beams.
The light flashes again. Right from the hole.
Kacchan’s hole is better than this hole. Kacchan’s hole doesn’t flash. Unless he learned how to control his quirk in his—
Dammit! Izuku just goes for it. He stuffs his hand in the hole—no prep, no lube. Dry. His fingers touch something warm, plastic, and cube-shaped. When he pulls, the velcro crrrrrks and releases the object.
Izuku retracts his hand and stares at the little square camera in his palm. He flips it over, and the light flashes again.
Low battery.
Izuku’s skin crawls, and the hair on the back of his neck prickles to life, sending a shiver down his spine. With a deep breath, he pockets the camera and storms out of his room and into the lobby.
Hitsuari sits at the front desk with her feet on the counter and a book on her chest, snoring gently.
Now, squeaky clean Pro Hero Deku would probably clear his throat and utter a gentle, “Excuse me” to try and get her attention, or come back in an hour to see if she was awake. But Pro Hero Deku has no interest in making an appearance today. No, Hitsuari is going to have the misfortune of dealing with Bakugou Katsuki’s husband.
And Bakugou Katsuki’s husband? He slams an open-palmed hand flat on the desk. It makes a thunderous clap, and Hitsuari startles awake with a shriek, her book falling to the ground as she jolts up.
“W—what…” Hitsuari blinks rapidly at Izuku.
He takes the camera out of his pocket and holds it up between his thumb and index finger.
Her mouth slackens. Her eyes go wide in terror. It lasts for only a second—long enough for Izuku to see it. Long enough for Izuku to know that she’s the one responsible.
“What’s that?” Hitsuari asks.
Izuku steadies his breathing. He has to at least try not to wake up the entire ryokan. “Do you have any idea how many privacy laws this breaks?”
“I don’t know what you’re—”
“Don’t play dumb with me,” Izuku says. “For somebody who had a DynaDeku Dream Team poster until they were sixteen, you’ve been really fucking cagey. I thought it was just nerves, but now—”
“Don’t say that word!” Hitsuari jumps to her feet, hands clenched in fists.
“Nerves?”
“No!”
“What, *******?” When Izuku tries to say it, static comes out of his mouth. “The **** is going on?”
“I asked you not to use that word!” Hitsuari says.
“I can’t even ******* say it!” Izuku exclaims in frustration. Every time he tries, it feels like his mouth is full of popping candy.
“You just did!”
Izuku stares at her, flabbergasted. Is this what gaslighting feels like? Or does she really not know what she did? Is Izuku losing his mind? Did he accidentally ingest neurotoxins from old shellfish?
No, Izuku’s ninety percent certain Hitsuari is fucking with him and Kacchan; he just doesn’t know how. Or why, for that matter. Though he has his guesses.
“Is this some kinda jealousy thing? Because you’ll never get your pointy little fingers inside him!” Izuku growls. “Kacchan likes it big, and that *** belongs to me.”
Really? Izuku can’t even say ass?
“Ew!” she recoils, her face turning a little green. “Wait—you… you top Dynamight?”
Izuku points to the camera in his hand. “Don’t act like you don’t know!”
“Know what?”
Izuku stares blankly at her, in disbelief that they’re even having this conversation. “Why do you care so much about our relationship?”
“I don’t!”
“Then why are you spying on our honeymoon?”
“Because you shouldn’t be at a romantic onsen!” It comes out of Hitsuari’s mouth in a furious flurry of words. She claps a hand over her mouth.
Izuku would smile at the victory, but he just feels gross for being right, and whatever counterargument Izuku was preparing left his brain the moment she admitted it. But even her admission doesn’t make sense. Hitsuari spied on them because they shouldn’t stay in a Lovers’ Suite? If anything, it shows that she wanted them there—that she got some sort of sick pleasure out of watching them. Not that Izuku and Kacchan have seen much action on this trip because of—
It clicks into place.
“Wait,” Izuku says. “You’re watching us because you’re sabotaging our honeymoon. If this is some kinda homophobia thing—”
“I’m not homophobic! I’m bi—and I own tons of yaoi and yuri. But you two shouldn’t be having sex!”
The mental gymnastics this girl is performing is far beyond Izuku’s comprehension. Even back in his most closeted days, he was never like this.
“What we do behind closed doors is none of your business.” Izuku turns on his heel to leave. He has to wake up Kacchan so they can get out of this hellscape as quickly as possible.
Hitsuari grabs his wrist before he takes a step. “Yes it is! You’re sixteen!”
Izuku could easily pull out of her grip, but he’s too dumbfounded to even move. “I am pushing thirty.”
Hitsuari growls in frustration, releasing Izuku’s wrist as she throws up her hands. “You don’t get it! All those battle videos I watched as a kid—you were sixteen! Dynamight was seventeen!”
“Yes…?” Izuku nods slowly. He swears he’s getting dumber the longer he lets this conversation continue.
“You were…” Hitsuari lowers her voice to a whisper. “Minors.”
“And now I’m twenty-eight. That’s how time works.”
“But you weren’t always twenty-eight!”
“Holy ****.” The phantom popping candy fizzles in Izuku’s mouth. He shouldn’t be arguing—Hitsuari clearly needs more help than he can provide if she doesn’t understand the concept of how humans experience linear time. This might be an Uraraka issue. “Did you give me food poisoning? Did you put something in our lube?”
She crosses her arms over her chest and holds her head up high. “It’s for your own good. For the good of the world. People shouldn’t be exposed to the salacious activities of heroes who used to be minors.”
That’s the last straw. Izuku storms off down the hall before she can sap away any more of his brain cells. “We’ll be checking out within the hour.”
It’ll be within ten minutes if Izuku has anything to say about it, but Kacchan can be hard to wake up. He lets himself back into the Lovers’ Suite, fired up, confused, and ready to leave this weird-ass ryokan forever. Maybe they can find some ace heroes to figure out what’s going on with Hitsuari.
Izuku barely makes it across the threshold before his sense of urgency leaves him completely. Suddenly, he’s feeling tired. Like he should lie down, cuddle up with Kacchan, and approach this with a clearer head when he’s gotten more sleep. After all, what could it hurt?
Izuku’s snapped awake by a scream coming from the bathroom. He leaps out of bed, knocking insistently on the bathroom door. “Kacchan?”
“My **** and my ass**** are in jail!”
“What?”
“I said, my **** and my ass**** are in jail! Why the **** can’t I swear?”
“I’m more confused about why you can say *** and not hole. Wait. Ass***. Hole. ***. This makes zero sense.” Izuku tries the doorknob. Locked. “Lemme in. I’ll explain.”
A few heavy, angry steps reverberate against the ground. The moment Kacchan swings open the door, Izuku understands exactly what Kacchan was saying.
Because laid over his heavy cock are a series of horizontal bars.
“Go on, laugh. I would. And that’s not even the worst part!” Kacchan turns around, bends over, and spreads his cheeks wide, revealing similar black bars over his asshole. He stands back up and squares his shoulders like he’s trying to regain what little dignity he has left.
Izuku’s face falls. “Why would I laugh when I’ve been excommunicated from Kacchan’s wondrous depths? Can you even, umm… poop?”
Kacchan’s eyebrows stitch into an unimpressed straight line. “We will blow up that ******* bridge when we get to it, Izuku.”
“You can’t swear, either.”
“Kinda the smaller issue right now, don’t you think? Is your sh—stuff all good down there?”
Izuku pulls the band of his pajama pants forward. “Ah—nah. It’s not.” He pulls down his pants to reveal his own cock prison.
“What about your ***?”
“My what?”
Kacchan rolls his eyes. “Your butt!”
“Oh—I dunno. Take a look.”
Kacchan spins Izuku around and forces open his cheeks before letting them fall back together. He lets out a heavy, exhausted sigh. “Why the **** did I wake up in the lamest censored hentai? And why am I the only one with a butt prison?”
“I mean… we both know the answer that, Kacchan.”
Kacchan elbows him hard in the gut. Izuku doubles over, waiting for his diaphragm to stop spasming so he can breathe again.
Yeah—Izuku deserved that, and he knows it.
When he’s recovered, Izuku joins Kacchan at the chabudai.
“It’s a quirk,” Izuku says.
“Yeah, no freaking poop,” Kacchan takes short, angry sips of his coffee.
“Some stuff went down while you were sleeping. Trust me—you’re not ready for this.”
Izuku spends several minutes recounting his strange conversation with Hitsuari.
By the time he’s done, Kacchan has his coffee mug on his forehead like he’s nursing a headache. “So lemme get this straight. She’s sabotaging our sex life because we’re pro heroes, and we used to be kids.”
“Correct.”
“That makes zero sense.”
“Also correct. I wasn’t sure what was going on ‘til the bars showed up. I mean, I suddenly couldn’t swear halfway through my conversation with Hitsuari, but she also admitted to giving me food poisoning and messing with our lube.” Izuku shudders at the memory of his fiery dick.
“And you said you were gonna wake me up and tell me what was going on so we could book it, but then you decided to go to sleep? There’s more to her quirk than censor bars and bleeps. She's using it to find all kinds of creative ways to keep us from having sex.”
Izuku stoops until his forehead touches the table. “And now we’re stuck here ‘til we can get her to take these stupid bars off our… nethers.”
“Gross. Don’t use that word.”
“Would you rather I said penises and anus?”
Kacchan cringes. “Look. I can get us out of this, but you might not like the person I have to become to do that.”
“Impossible. I love every version of Kacchan.”
Kacchan gives that shy little smile that makes Izuku swoon. “C’mon, let’s suit up.”
Decked in full Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight get-up, Kacchan strides down the hall like he’s on the most important hero mission of his life. Izuku feels a bit ridiculous following behind in his mech suit, much as he tries to exude the same confidence as his partner.
When they get to the lobby, Hitsuari is, as usual, manning the front desk. She doesn’t so much as look up from her book, but it doesn’t matter. Kacchan waits for no one but Izuku. He starts ringing the desk bell incessantly.
Hitsuari slams down her novel. She jumps a little when she sees Kacchan in his hero suit—mask, gauntlets, and all—but she flips quickly back to her stoic, nonchalant demeanor. “Can I help you?”
“I wanna talk to your manager.” Kacchan’s still ringing that damn bell.
She leans forward, eyes harsh, unblinking. “You’re looking at her.”
Ring! Ring ring ring ring!
“Not a manager. Your manager.”
“I don’t have one.”
“Then. The. Owner.” Kacchan rings the bell on every word. “Your. Father.”
Hitsuari grabs the bell and shoves it in a drawer without looking away from Kacchan. “He’s. On. Vacation.”
“Then gimme his number.”
“That’s private information. If you have questions or concerns, you can call the hotel line.” Her smile is wide. Unhinged. “I’d be happy to write it down for you.”
With a shrug, Kacchan pulls out his phone. “Nah, that won’t be necessary. I have other avenues that’ll be a lot more fruitful. Yelp, for example. Nobody yelps like me.” He shows Hitsuari the screen. “Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight. Verified. Want me to read my draft?”
Hitsuari brushes her pink hair out of her face. “I’m sure it’s glowing.”
Kacchan clears his throat. “This place gave my husband such bad food poisoning that I had to piss outside or risk bathroom toxins. Tampered with our belongings, leading to personal injury. Placed a camera in our room to—”
“Sagi?”
Izuku whips around. In the entryway stands Mr. Hitsuari, his hat and moustache covered in snow as he wrestles with two overstuffed suitcases for the elderly couple behind him.
“I’m so sorry,” he says to the couple. “Your room isn’t quite ready yet. If you head to our dining room, we would love to provide you with our kaiseki on the house. I’d be happy to store your luggage for now.”
At the offer of a free kaiseki, the elderly couple agrees without a fuss.
When they’re out of earshot, Mr. Hitsuari’s tone changes from pleasant to no-nonsense. “Sagi. Explain to me what’s going on.”
His daughter just keeps clacking away at the computer. “What’s up? I’m just helping Deku and Dynamight here.” How she remains so calm is completely beyond Izuku. He’d be a nervous, sweaty mess.
Mr. Hitsuari tries again. “What’s this I heard about placing a camera in a guest’s room?”
She puts a hand over her heart in feigned and unconvincing indignation. “I would never do that, Dad! You know me! I care just as much about our ryokan and guests as you do.”
Fuck, Izuku hates this. He hates feeling like he’s burdening a small family business. “It’s not a big deal, really! We’re just thinking of checking out early is all!”
Unfortunately, Izuku didn’t consider that Kacchan’s wrath might be worse. He storms over to Izuku and hoists him up by the cape. “Not a big deal, Izuku? Not a big deal that you can never **** my ass**** with your horse **** unless she lifts whatever ****-*** quirk she put on us?”
“But—but he’s so nice!”
“I don’t care! His daughter is ******* unhinged!”
To his credit, Mr. Hitsuari looks properly horrified. “You used Censor on our guests! Our pro hero guests! This could sink us!”
Hitsuari’s typing gets faster, louder. She might actually break that damn keyboard. “I always stick by my morals.”
“Why do your morals prevent two consenting adults from experiencing their love life?” When his daughter doesn’t respond, Mr. Hitsuari continues. “You have your morals, and I have mine. If you don’t stop torturing these poor men with your quirk, you’re fired.”
Finally, the rapid-fire key smashes stop. “But the ryokan is mine to inherit!”
“And are you planning on running it from prison?” Mr. Hitsuari asks. “Do you not realize that you’re interfering with the well-being of the top two heroes in the country? That they could arrest you right here and now?”
Hitsuari’s face pales, like she was suddenly hit with the fact that there might be consequences for spying on people and putting them in censorship chastity. “They… they wouldn’t. Deku and Dynamight wouldn’t.”
“I mean, it’s not Plan A,” Kacchan shrugs. “But it’s definitely Plan C. You kinda fucked us up.”
Shaking, Hitsuari clasps her hands together, tilting her head from one side to the other. In a small voice, she says, “Okay.”
“Okay?” Izuku says.
“It’s lifted.”
Kacchan looks unconvinced. “Let’s see. Shit, ass cunt, fuck… well, that part’s lifted, at least. Excuse me.” He ducks into the lobby bathroom for a few seconds and returns with a huge smile on his face. “No more censored hentai hellscape.”
“I can’t apologize enough,” Mr. Hitsuari says. “I insist on refunding everything and giving you a voucher for a free week’s stay to use at your leisure.”
“I… um, I think we’re good,” Izuku says. “But I’m sure Kacchan’s parents wouldn’t mind the refund.”
“I’ll go get our shit—if I don’t come back in five minutes, put a team together,” Kacchan says, already running back towards their room.
Thankfully, Kacchan manages to gather all their stuff and make it back to the lobby in under four minutes. Mr. Hitsuari offers to drive them back to the train station, but Izuku insists it’s easier if they just fly. In truth, they care less about keeping a low profile and more about getting the hell away from Hitsuari and her censorship quirk.
When they get to the train station, Izuku and Kacchan stare blankly at the Departures screen.
“So… what, we just go home now?” Izuku asks.
“Hell no!” Kacchan says. “We took a week off. This is our goddamn honeymoon, and we’re gonna enjoy it to the fullest.”
He takes out his phone and taps the screen a few times before putting it up to his ear. “Hey, Mom. Yeah, no. That place was a nightmare. They’re refunding you. No, no—I’ll tell you when you’re older.” Kacchan laughs at something his mom says. “I was hoping you might have another suggestion?”
Kacchan hangs up with a wide grin on his face. “How do you feel about Yunokawa?”
____________________
Izuku rests his arms on the cool metal of the onsen infinity pool’s rim, a reprieve from the hot water he’s been soaking in for the past hour. The ocean waves far below lap at the shore, and he lets the soothing rhythm relax his aching muscles.
So far, his experience in Yunokawa Onsen has been far more relaxing than Noboribetsu. It wasn’t a far jaunt by train, but it feels a world away from the Hitsuari ryokan, which is exactly what he and Kacchan need.
Kacchan steps out of their room, fully nude, his towel draped over his shoulders in a feeble attempt at keeping warm before he gets in the water. He drops the towel near the entry, and Izuku’s gaze goes straight to Kacchan’s nipples, jutting out in hard little peaks from the cold. It makes Izuku’s cock ache as he thinks of holding Kacchan’s pecs together, fucking between them as he cums all over his chest and face.
Kacchan enters the onsen quickly, still shivering as his body adjusts to the warmth. He swims over to Izuku and sits beside him. “Fuck, I can’t wait for spring.”
“Aw, c’mon—you’ve gotta admit, there’s something magical about being outside in hot water while you’re surrounded by snow."
Kacchan splashes him, a playful little smile on his face. “Lemme complain, dammit.”
“Wait ‘til we’re back at work. This is our honeymoon: part two!”
“I’d like to think of this as the start of our real honeymoon.” Kacchan raises an eyebrow coyly before not so coyly straddling Izuku’s lap. Biting his lip, he rubs the cleft of his ass against Izuku’s cock. “Already hard as a rock. Shocker.”
“I was hard the second you stepped out of the ryokan,” Izuku admits.
“‘Course you were.” Kacchan’s tone is fond, relaxed. Even in the water, he uses his expert skill to line Izuku up with his entrance using his ass alone.
Izuku whimpers, rutting up into Kacchan, chasing his warm, tight heat.
“Careful,” Kacchan says. “You look like you’re gonna cum in about two seconds.” He sinks down slowly, his eyes fluttering as he takes Izuku bit by bit.
Izuku wraps his hand around Kacchan’s cock and gives the head a little squeeze. “I could say the same for you.”
The whine Kacchan emits is intoxicating and vulnerable in a way that never ceases to amaze Izuku. Even after all these years together, he can’t believe Kacchan shows him the truest parts of himself. “Mmm… Fuck. Isn’t this on your sex bucket list or whatever?”
Izuku would be embarrassed if he weren’t so turned on. He grips Kacchan’s hips and pulls him down until he bottoms out. “You’re not supposed to know about that.”
Kacchan rocks back and forth, a delicious, slick motion that somehow feels even better underwater. Maybe it’s the fact that Izuku’s surrounded by heat. By Kacchan. That for the first time in what feels like an eternity that it’s just the two of them—not against the world, but a part of it.
“It’s in the back of one of your hero analysis notebooks.” Kacchan uses the momentum of Izuku’s rutting hips to bounce himself on Izuku’s cock. It’s more languid and sensual than on land, without gravity pulling Kacchan down in quick bursts. “I figured there was some nasty shit in there, since you never take that one to work.”
“Fuck… that’s private.” It takes all Izuku’s concentration to follow their conversation with the way Kacchan grips his cock. He works his hand faster along Kacchan’s length.
When Kacchan arches up in surprise at the change in pace, his now soft nipples peak out from under the water. He bounces higher, taking in less of Izuku’s cock but splashing water all over his glorious tits. It’s a trade-off Izuku is happy to make.
“Those have never been private.” Kacchan’s voice strains as his head falls back. “And I’ve gotta… keep up with all your perv shit somehow.”
With his hands on Kacchan’s hips, Izuku pulls him back down until he’s fully seated. For a long moment they stay still, connected in a way Izuku’s not sure two people have ever been. Their lips, softened and moistened from the onsen steam, move together. Their breaths meld with the steam. Their bodies flow with the water. In unison, they move their hips again, rocking back and forth. Izuku basks in every part of Kacchan’s body—a body that he’s memorized inside and out. Every movement, every sound, he knows intrinsically, and yet Kacchan still manages to surprise him every time.
This time, it’s because he pulls away from the kiss and looks in Kacchan’s eyes at just the right moment. They glimmer with tears—unshed or not, it’s hard to tell in the water—and it doesn’t matter. It’s the untethered love in those tears that sends Izuku careening towards the ledge—a ledge that he’ll dive from with Kacchan every time.
Kacchan cups his face. “You married me.”
“Y—yeah. I did.”
“You… married me.”
Izuku knows what Kacchan means. He can always tell these days. He doesn’t have to ask to infer that Kacchan’s replaying the strife of their early years, only to put himself back in the present moment and marvel at everything they’ve become.
Izuku’s hand glides rapidly over Kacchan’s cock, a contrast to their otherwise unhurried lovemaking.
When they cum, it’s not with the force of a tidal wave but an echo that carries through ancient hills, a quiet power in its own right.
“I’m here,” Izuku whispers as he runs his fingers through Kacchan’s damp locks. “I’m always here.”
Kacchan settles into Izuku’s embrace. “I know. I always know.”