Chapter Text
[1990]
It started when they were twelve.
Shauna’s parents’ divorce was officialized in the summer, so their first holiday season didn’t go exactly as planned. Deb got Hannukah – Shauna’s dad didn’t subscribe to any religion, so Christmas was never really a deal on their household –, and they celebrated as they always did: her grandma came for the dinner on the first night and Shauna almost forgot the mess her life had turned into while she lavished on latkes, kugel and all the delicious fried meals grandma Esti cooked. When winter break came along, Shauna got anxious about finally meeting her father’s new house in Boston; he’d moved right after her birthday back in July and had only come down to visit on Thanksgiving – driving was tiring and the Amtrak could get hefty if he came more frequently, Sean had explained during one of their rare phone calls.
So, winter break was all they had. Some of it, really. Since he was new at his job, Sean couldn’t simply ask for PTO during the holidays, so his parents were coming to pick Shauna up the day after Christmas, and they would drive her to Boston. It was going to be so cool – a road trip with the grandparents she rarely got to see? Sign her up!
Needless to say, it didn’t happen. Something came up at work and dad was being flown to New Mexico, and her grandparents couldn’t possibly take care of her for like six straight days, so Shauna did the only thing she could. She smiled – even though he couldn’t see her –, thanked him for the gifts he’d sent the money for, and agreed to visit him in Boston on spring break.
“I’m so sorry, baby”, her mom cocooned her after a pretty heated argument over the phone.
Shauna didn’t say anything, she just cuddled up on her mother’s arms and cried like the little girl she was. She couldn't understand why her father didn’t make any effort to be with her; it was as if Shauna became an afterthought as soon as Deb filled the divorce. Many of the kids in her class had divorced parents, even at twelve Shauna knew it was fairly common for marriages to end on a bitter note, it bothered her that it had happened to her parents, but she could cope. She was coping during the semester, it was hard not having her dad to have movie nights on Saturdays or pick her up from soccer practice every other day, or even to tuck her in on the nights her mom had a night shift at the hospital.
“You can just stay at mine,” Jackie had said one afternoon, when it became clear Sean had forgot it was his time to pick Shauna up from soccer. “We can make that pillow fort we were talking about.”
And that’s how things usually went from then on. Shauna became the fourth Taylor. Marilyn – Jackie’s mom – wasn’t as nice as Deb, no one could really compare to Shauna’s mom when it came to warmth, but she was always there when Shauna needed most. There was always an extra plate on the table or blanket in Jackie’s bed, or even a name on their country club family listing. Sure, Marilyn and Deb were rarely on the same page when it came to what it meant to be a mom or how to raise their respective daughters, but their disagreements never got in the away of Jackie and Shauna’s friendship. It never got in the way of Shauna’s wellbeing like Sean and Deb’s divorce had. Did Marilyn judge Deb for divorcing Sean even though Shauna was pretty sure her dad had cheated on her mom? Yes, she did. But did she make sure Shauna had ham and cheese sandwiches – her favorites, by the way – and sliced oranges after soccer practice? Damn well, she did.
So going to the Taylors’ cabin in Vermont for New Years wasn’t a big deal to twelve-year-old Shauna. It was a no brainer, really. Deb took on a double shift when she thought Shauna was going to Boston and none of her colleagues were open to switch shifts with her once her scumbag of an ex stood her daughter up, so Marilyn came to the rescue and Shauna got to go on her first snow trip as a consolation prize for being a child of divorce.
The snow made Jackie’s eyelashes sparkle as they watched the fireworks. They were sitting on the steps of the porch, shoulders brushing under the blanket Marilyn had insisted they hide under it. Her best friend searched for her hands and threaded their fingers, making Shauna’s heart skip a couple of beats as they nudged even closer to each other.
“I’m glad you’re here, Shippy,” Jackie whispered, resting her head on Shauna’s shoulders. “But I’m also sorry for all of your dad stuff.”
Shauna looked up to the sky. She thought about her dad and everything he’d put her and her mom through in the past few months, the sadness and the absence, the silence tears Shauna cried under her covers and the loud screams her mother shouted over the phone, the pity looks Shauna received every time Deb didn’t make it to pick up on time and the somehow proud handshakes Sean got when he took Shauna to Walmart on Black Friday – as if him just being there was enough in the eyes of the town folk.
A snowflake melted right between the brown eyes Shauna got from her father. She inhaled the crisp winter air and felt the weight of her best friend’s body leaning on hers. It made her smile.
“I’m glad I’m here too.” She finally said.
Jackie didn’t miss a beat as she mumbled, “Maybe your mom can come with us next year,” Shauna’s smile grew, her heart warm. “It could be our family tradition.”