Chapter Text
Toji was a slave to no one but time. It was obvious that he wasn’t inevitable.
But how cruel must it be to die without your other half. Your significant other half. Standing there, he huffed his last breath as his hand went through the bleeding hole.
He felt the warm blood dripping down his fingers. It was hopeless.
"In two or three years, my son will be sold to the Zenin clan“, he muttered. The clan that used him as a punching bag.
People who have birthed him into this rotten world without anything but hate. All those traditions that would make him bark a laugh. People who have cursed him with the ability not to fight against curses.
…
"Do whatever you want with him“
Slowly, his vision faded into blurry, white lines. The purple maniac swept into the back of Toji´s head as his legs gave in. At last, with his chest on the concrete, the man couldn't help but feel comfortable. The familiar coldness. The hard stone catching his head. It was the bed he lied in as a young boy.
Except that now, her smile was embracing him like the blanket his mother never dared to cover him with.
His wife would whisper into his temple that a good old blanket promises good dreams. He knew that it was bullshit, because the nightmares swept in regardless. But something about the way she said it, made him believe her like a naive child. Whenever he closed his eyes to fall asleep, her laugh would guide him into the distance.
To this day.
He believed her. He clung onto the vision of her soft smile, hoping that it would make death less terrifying.
——
Tokyo, 1998
“Oi, Toji! Thought you’d vanished for good. Get your ass in here!” the barkeeper yelled across the room.
Toji Zenin stumbled into the nearly empty bar and waved the employee off. He dropped into a chair and tossed his rain-drenched cap onto the table.
The barkeeper smiled softly as he reached for a bottle of Toji’s usual cheap beer. "Rain really did a number on you, huh?," he said. "Been pouring for hours”.
The twenty-one year old didn’t answer. He wasn’t here to chat. Just to drink. Small talk was pointless. The mission had been pointless too. All because that rich asshole hadn’t even paid him enough money to properly gamble with. What a load of crap.
“Did your tongue dissolve in the rain?” The barkeeper set down two foaming glasses and slid into the seat across from him.
“Don't piss me off, Kouta,“ he grunted.
“Come ooon~ Tell me why you look and smell like a drenched dog. Can't even afford an umbrella now?”
A deep laugh erupted from Kouta's chest. Was this asshole seriously drunk again, Toji thought before glancing at the clock behind the counter. It was 5:30 pm. Huh. Being drunk at this time of day was quite unusual for the bartender, but who cares. Toji wasn't any better for showing up right now.
He huffed.
Toji Zenin’s metabolism was way too fast for alcohol to do much of anything. No matter how much he drank, he never really got even close to being tipsy. Still, he let Kouta keep the glasses coming. One after another. Nearly everyday.
Maybe it wasn’t the alcohol itself, but the act of drinking that made things feel lighter. Or waking up with 6.000 yen less in his pocket that push his worries somewhere else. Seeing how careless Kouta could be, made him wish to feel tipsy too.
“You look happy. What's the matter?”
The barkeeper's face lit up with excitement. Toji regretted asking already.
Kouta Tanaka was a man in his early thirties. His dark hair was always combed into a side part and his eyes gleamed behind the thick glasses.Normally, he's very collected- serving customers with ease. He shined amongst the visitors, entertaining them.
Last December, Toji tried to hide in a crowd of drunk men. It was one of those nights where Toji would toss and turn in bed. He figured that the local bar could distract him from his usual insomnia.
Right then and there, the barkeeper spotted him admidst many people. Toji was just about to leave when, on Kouta's advice, he ordered a “lousy beer for an even lousier young man”. Something he has done ever since.
Now, when Toji thinks back to his twenties, he realizes that the Mizumi Bar used to be popular, if it wasn’t for the sudden earthquake that suddenly collapsed it and made it look shabby. The boss accepted the Japanese ministry's compensation but spent the money on his own expenses. Since then, the once-famous bar has become a place with sagging leather seats and a lack of staff. Apart from Toji, only a handful of locals showed up, because the good reputation was long gone.
It wasn't an earthquake though. It was a cover-up by the so-called jujutsu sorcerers.Toji saw from afar how the bar had turned into a battleground, because-
"Hello, are you even listening?," Kouta waved his hand around.
The young assassin groaned, urging him to go on.
“As I was saying, there’s this new employee here. She started her shift about three weeks ago.”
He lowered his voice. “Look to your left. She's cleaning the table. Very sweet girl, gotta be honest. She already worked as a waitress in other bars already." He grinned, "You know what that means for me? No need to give instructions. That girl already knows her way around.”
Toji raised a brow.
“What? Oh, right. She´s here to save money for college. Not like you who spends it carelessly, haha!”
“Get to the point.”
Kouta pushed his glasses back with a huff: “Count 1+1 together, man. I can make her do all the chores while I drink these beauties” His hand reached for Toji's beer before it got smacked away. A small chuckle.''So, no work for me, but I still get paid!
At the sight of my grey hair, God knew that I needed an angel. Ta-daaa, here she is!” He proudly gulped his foaming beer down.
Toji's gaze wandered over the small bar. Besides the two employees and some old men the place had no one else to inhabit.
It's not hard to serve in a bar like this. Grey hair? What a joke, Toji thought.
They were drinking for a while. The bartender watched the old men’s checkers game with a frown and occasionally barked instructions, while Toji was in deep, deep thoughts.
Outside, the rainy storm began to ease. The drumming on the windows slurred down. In the corner of the bar, a young man was now busy installing a television.
The loud complaints of the old men made Toji look up.
He wondered why the shop owner was even investing money in that instead of new chairs. The cheap leather was gradually tearing into shreds under Toji's weight.
"What's that all about?"
Kouta excitedly tapped the wooden table: "A television. That was my idea.” Yesterday night, he started a discussion in the bar, because he thought the 2002 World Cup in Japan would be a welcoming change. The customers laughed at him.
“You don't understand, gentlemen. Listen: the more tourists arrive, the more customers I'll serve. As soon as we get the TV, we can watch football every day and night. Did you forget how overrun the French were? The mood was thrilling! Their economy has never been better!” A woman laughed along with others. The idea of saving the Mizumi bar was absurd.
“Kouta, I love you, darling, but please. A television in a shabby bar? The prices here are the lowest in the neighborhood and look around! No new customers!”
Kouta refused to be swayed by such words. There was still hope for his beloved bar.
Toji raised a brow. "So you expect new customers because of a... that?"
The bartender grinned cheerfully. After months of decline this could be a good strategy. Toji scoffed. It was a matter of days until the TV would be torn down in a bar fight.
Suddenly, Kouta slid a piece of paper across the table. His expression was serious. God, what was it now?
Was it a love letter? He always had his suspicions about Kouta being a little bit- Oh.
It's a check.
He groaned into his gloved hands while the bartender crossed his arms: “You may be a regular here, but that doesn't mean that you get things for free. I gotta feed my kids, you know?” Not this talk again. Not now, when he got his last loan today.
Can't a man pay for more important things first? Toji needed to get out of this situation. Now. He looked back up.
“How's your wife? I heard she's busy with the school committee.”
“Man, I swear to God. Don't even think about this move-”
Oh, he's already taking the bait? Toji leaned forward with a faint smirk: “Tell her I miss her smile. The vision keeps me up at night.” Kouta threatened him with a glare, urging him to finally pick the check up.
“Quit it. Just pay forward. You know my boss is an asshole. We talked about this!”
Now the alcohol was getting to Kouta, “You have a few bucks on you, otherwise you wouldn't be here!”
Toji stood up, tired, before he lightly patted the bartender’s shoulder. According to Kouta's grunt a bit too harshly… Toji needed to work on his physical touch.
“Kouta, move your ass back to the counter. That girl looks like she might need your help”
“What?” Kouta turned to look at the new waitress but she wasn't there.
When he turned back to give Toji a third warning, he was met with his absence.
The door closed just before a wet towel struck the glass.A faint smile rested on Toji's lips, exhausted rather than satisfied.
---
It was 7 pm.
Far too early to go to sleep. But his sluggish body struggled along the sidewalk.
His head screamed that he should go back home, that his limbs were already at their limit. He needed to lie down, to finally relax after two days of nonstop work. But no matter how early he went to bed, no matter how long he stayed in his shabby apartment, sleep could never find him.
He dreaded sleep. Even though he was hundreds of kilometers away from the Zenin clan, his parents would terrorize him in his nightmares too.
Distance didn't matter. The fear held on. Going to sleep meant having to accept reality. He was a Toji Zenin, an outsider.
No matter what. No matter where.
But at that time, he didn't know that a single woman would turn his life upside down.