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“…There is the heat of Love, the pulsing rush of Longing, the lover’s whisper, irresistible—magic to make the sanest man go mad.”
― Homer, The Iliad
Being short is never good for one’s back. Perhaps Levi is a tad overdramatic about that but Levi has a tendency to be overdramatic, not that many people realise anyway. However, whether Levi’s back problems come from his height or because of his vigorous training and lifestyle, Levi doesn’t care, he just wants his back to stop aching.
He gets the problem a lot and not just in the typical manner. It can keep him awake at night, not that he sleeps all that much anyway. Replacing the mattress in his barrack did nothing to help and, when he slept on the sofa or the chair, it didn’t help either. Perhaps that was one of the attributing causes, however Levi would never admit it to being through any fault of his own.
After a particularly rough day of training, an Expedition closing in on them, Levi’s back felt like it might fall off if that were no impossible feat. It pained him at every available part, between his shoulder blades, down his spine, above the back of his pelvis, just everywhere. Even though his frame was small, it didn’t make the pain any lesser.
There were a lot of remedies for bad backs but Levi wasn’t keen. He wasn’t a fan of resorting to help or asking for it or even doing what people suggested. Suffering, that was how he got by, that was how he lived.
But there came a point when even Levi Ackerman had to seek out help for his maladies. The back pain was something that forced him to go for aid. Usually, Levi suffered in silence, but his back was throbbing with every step and it was too much for him to carry on with. When he got back to his personal barrack, he ran the bathtub at the hottest temperature that would not scold him and undressed.
Hopefully it would work, Levi hated being in unnecessary pain. He didn’t mind the throb of a wound out on the battlefield or the ache in his heart when his comrades fell, but the back pain was unnecessary. That one could go, Levi would very much like it if that pain did not linger for it hindered him more than it made him feel something.
The water lapped at his skin, relaxing his muscles and easing the pain. It soothed him, steaming up the bathroom and fogging the windows and mirror. It was hot, but it was that good kind of burn.
He lay his head against the back of the tub, rested his arms up on the tops of the sides, and released a deep breath. The heat was good, it withdrew the stiff ways in which he held himself. It was that perfect heat, one that made him forget his troubles and be soothed.
His shoulders lost tension, his back melted into the warmth. It was perfect, the steam working its way across the skin outside the bath and making him serene. Levi barely knew what serenity was. Levi could sweat out his troubles and just relax. Relaxation was not something he found easily.
Especially not when he was a Captain and his presence was required an awful lot more than he cared for. Even now, when he was trying to escape and be alone in his own room, there was a knocking at the door that he willed to go away. All he wanted was some alone time in his bath so he could ease the tension that was set within his bones.
However, the knocking would not stop and he knew he couldn’t ignore it, so he called ‘come in’ and someone entered his room. They still had to come across the room and knock on his bathroom door, but Levi couldn’t be bothered to tell them where he was.
A voice he recognised asked him where on earth he was and Levi called out to Erwin that he was in the bathroom. The water was still hot, so there was no way he was getting out. Nothing could stop him, well, maybe a Titan, but Levi was much too calm to give a shit about Titans.
“Is it all right to come in?” Erwin’s voice asked from the other side of the door, clearly concerned that he might find Levi in an indecent state considering the bathroom door was shut.
“I’m not taking a shit, you can come in,” Levi said, closing his eyes as he relaxed further.
Erwin entered and, upon seeing Levi naked, averted his gaze and sighed. “Levi, why would you tell me to come in if you’re bathing?”
“What’s the problem?” Levi asked, not opening his eyes. “Everyone sees everyone naked in the showers, who gives a shit?”
“These are your private Captain’s Quarters,” Erwin said and Levi could hear his voice was tight, but he still didn’t open his eyes to look at him. “They’re meant to give you a certain amount of privacy.”
Levi shrugged because he genuinely didn’t care, he was a confident guy and he didn’t give a shit about who saw him naked. Bodies were just bodies, they weren’t anything to be embarrassed about because, well, everyone had one. Many people had seen him nude before, the Underground had the worst levels of privacy and the showers of HQ were mainly communal, so no one cared about people’s nudity. Cleanliness was much more important than someone’s state of dress.
“What do you want?” Levi asked, sliding lower in the bathtub so that most of his chest was under the water level.
“There’s um, uh.” Erwin cleared his throat. “There’s something that you, uh, need to do.” He cleared his throat again.
Levi, curious as to why the oh-so-confident Commander, who spoke in front of hundreds upon hundreds of people, was speaking in a fragmented manner, opened one eye to look at him. Erwin, who had averted his gaze when he had first walked in, was now staring at Levi’s naked body.
There was something curious in his gaze, something Levi couldn’t quite make out. His pupils were larger than normal as they searched Levi’s pale form for something Levi couldn’t detect. His eyes roamed down Levi’s chest, down his stomach, towards his cock and even down his thighs. Levi scoffed.
“Perverted bastard,” Levi said, closing his eyes again after he saw crimson flash across Erwin’s cheeks.
“You’re the one that’s naked,” Erwin retorted quietly.
“You’re the one that’s in my room.”
“Upon your consent.”
“Doesn’t mean you should stare, pervert.” Levi slid further, trying to get his shoulders underneath the water level but not wanting to submerge his head. He hated the feeling of water on his face. “What is it you need me to do?”
“Hm?” Erwin asked, his tone soft.
“The reason you came in here, Erwin,” Levi reminded him. “You know, before you started ogling.”
Erwin cleared his throat again. “The Expedition papers need Captains’ signatures.”
“For fuck’s sake,” Levi cursed.
“It’s only a signature, Levi.”
“Whatever.” Levi sighed and stood, knowing he wouldn’t be able to relax properly if he had responsibilities to deal with. The bath had lost most of its heat anyway, Levi only liking it when it was just below scalding level.
Erwin looked away quickly and Levi scoffed again as he picked up a towel to wrap around his waist once he stepped out of the tub. He pulled the plug and wiped his feet on the mat, there being no way he was going to leave wet footprints across the bathroom and the floor of his quarters.
Erwin followed him out as Levi gathered clean clothes to dress in. After laying them out on the bed, he turned back to Erwin to find him watching Levi’s every move. Levi quirked an eyebrow, a confusion settling in him.
“You gonna watch me dress too, pervert?” Levi asked, slightly humorously.
“Of course not,” Erwin said and he went to exit the room. “I’ll wait for you in my office.”
Levi nodded once in affirmation and waited for Erwin to shut the door behind him before he dressed in his uniform bar the straps. After checking everything was clean and that his bathroom had no streaks of condensation, Levi made the short walk to Erwin’s office and entered, without knocking.
The papers were boring as ever and Levi did not trouble himself with reading them, assured that Erwin would have everything taken care of. Erwin always told him to read it over and make sure he understood it all but Levi didn’t give a shit. Not only did he not care as long as they were getting funding and an allowance to go outside, he also knew Erwin would check over every detail. Levi would never have to go over something if it was Erwin’s work he was looking at.
As he leaned over the desk, his back contracted and it began to pulse. The baths only ever worked temporarily and it was a sweet release until it plagued him again. He cursed silently as he ran the pen across the papers he needed to sign. Arching his back over the desk was not helping him but very little helped his back pains.
Once he stood straight, he stretched minimally but it wasn’t worth anything. He sighed minutely but Erwin still heard him, his eyes watching him as he sat across from Levi at the desk, signing his own work.
“What’s wrong?” Erwin asked.
“Nothing,” Levi dismissed. He didn’t like boring Erwin with his troubles, not since he had so many of his own to deal with. Levi would deal with this alone, it was only a small problem after all. He wasn’t dealing with an onset depression or broken bones, he had back problems. Erwin didn’t need to worry about that.
“Levi,” Erwin pressed.
“What?” Levi shrugged. “I’m fine. Can I go now?”
Erwin nodded. He should have said ‘you are dismissed’, but the two of them had long forgotten the formalities of their professional relationship. Levi certainly didn’t care about the rules and Erwin had given up trying to enforce them on him. Being a rebellious soul, Erwin knew that trying to make Levi follow rules he could never respect was pointless.
That night, Levi slept an amazing two hours. It was only a little more than his usual nights’ sleep, the ones before all the back pain, but that sleep was actually solid. With the pain, it was irregular and there was a lot of tossing and turning.
The next morning, Levi was in an horrendous mood because of his back. It was getting progressively worse and Levi knew he was going to have to resort to drastic measures eventually. He would ignore it for as long as possible but, whilst in the line for food in the mess hall, it was twinging over and over again, slowly spreading down his spine. His entire back was throbbing and it was frustrating more than anything else.
His bad mood mainly manifested itself when one of the newbies dropped their tray. It landed millimetres away from Levi’s feet where he was stood in the line, spilling and spraying everywhere. The recruit had looked at Levi in plain fear as he gulped. Levi kicked the tray away, it skidding far across the hall as he glared at him.
If any of the food had gotten on him, Levi probably would have committed murder, but thankfully it didn’t. In a voice as deep as thunder, Levi told him to go and pick it up and the recruit had scrambled away faster than if a Titan were chasing him. It’s safe to say that the other Scouts in the line took a safe step back from Levi as he waited.
Normally, Levi would have pushed through to the front and taken a tray but too much movement made his back ache and he wanted no part of that. Whatever kept his back level and not doing much was a blessing, so he waited in line, more patient than many had ever seen him. That only made them more fearful.
Once he had his tray, he sat with Hanji, Mike, and the others, Erwin joining them to talk through plans and not eat. He never ate when an Expedition was approaching, so Levi pushed his tray forward on the table and made sure Erwin had a couple of bites of whatever mush was set upon it. It usually became Levi’s responsibility to make sure Erwin ate when he was stressed.
The details of the Expedition were normal and routine, though Erwin had come up with a new formation. Levi was sure it would be ground-breaking, as was everything Erwin did. Levi rarely admitted it to Erwin himself, but he did believe Erwin was the man who was going to save the world. He watched as he spoke, a passion like fire in his voice. Levi found his heart swelling when Erwin spoke as so, but he couldn’t attribute a cause to that. He assumed it was the pride he had for Erwin, the admiration for how he kept so much faith, but he didn’t know for sure.
Upon finishing eating whatever the hell it was that was on his tray and after making sure Erwin ate some too, Levi stood. His back muscles contracted, aching and burning, and he cursed softly. Using the table as leverage, he stretched, arching his back and stretching it fully.
Since that felt slightly profitable, Levi stood straight and started stretching properly. He closed his eyes, contorting and twisting his body, not caring that he was in the middle of the mess hall for his back was feeling relieved with all the movement.
It was, however, a little inappropriate. Not the stretching as such, but the moans that were leaving his lips, the ones that everyone did when they stretched and it felt good. They may have been minimal but they were there and very audible. But, with the bending and curving of his back feeling as good as it did, he couldn’t give less of shit.
When he was done, after a good minute or so of arching and rotating his back, he opened his eyes to find many members of the hall watching him. A fair few had their lips parted, some had forks halfway to their mouths, and all of them were watching Levi.
He froze, confused as to why Horse Face and Suicidal Bastard as well as other members, like the one that was in love with Suicidal Bastard and even the little blonde one who was in love with the idea of the ocean, whatever the hell their names were, were just staring at him. He looked back to Hanji and Mike for some support but even they were staring. Even Erwin had his eyes set on Levi, his pupils blowing up.
“What?” Levi asked, irritated for he didn’t like being watched.
“You make noises when you stretch,” Mike answered, returning to his food without much of a pause, the others not following suit like Levi wished they would.
“Who gives a shit?” Levi continued to eye up those that were blinking away their daze.
“It’s distracting,” Mike said.
“I’ll leave then,” Levi said, abandoning his tray and slowly exiting the mess hall, a few eyes watching him. Just before he passed the threshold, he caught Erwin’s gaze still intent on him, a strange look in his eye that Levi really couldn’t work out.
Considering his back wasn’t any better, he went around to the training grounds knowing that exercise was meant to help. Starting gently, Levi used the human sized models meant for training in hand-to-hand combat, kicking and punching in an effort to stretch out whatever it was that was making his back hurt so much.
Gradually, others started to join him on the training grounds, doing various things that Levi paid no attention to because his back was annoying him so. It was atrocious. He wasn’t even that old and he was a hell of a lot fitter than most of the people within the Walls, so it angered him more than anything. Why did he deserve it?
A certain kick towards the head of the mannequin brought Levi to the awareness of the straps across his body. Of course, he knew they were there, he hadn’t forgotten about them because he did them up every morning. Sometimes, however, he remembered how tight they had to be in order for them to create the proper support they needed and he wondered if, perhaps, wearing them less might help his back. That’s why he undid them, letting them hang around his thighs as he removed his shirt too, thinking that the least restriction possible might help.
The air was cool on his skin making him move better, smoother like the agile fighter he was when flying through the air. It helped him fight, cooled his mind and made him focus. It made him train and fight better. He liked the cool air, it cleared his mind and made his reactions faster.
The lack of restrictions also helped his back. It didn’t cure it, it didn’t even come close to that, but it did help. He moved freer with his back exposed to the chilled air. It was a sweet relief, though it wouldn’t last all that long.
Another smack to the mannequin and Levi could feel the tension rise, so he hit again, and again, and again. His limbs were working hard, his muscles even harder. Working out, training, it just seemed right to Levi, it felt right. Everything moved like it should, concisely and without restrictions.
Levi’s back felt free when he worked out, he could feel it healing. It was a quick solution but it was beneficial, it made Levi feel unrestricted. Perhaps it was merely a distraction technique, Levi wasn’t sure but it helped, so he didn’t stop.
Not until he caught sight of people doing it again; staring. He caught Horse Face from the corner of his eye, watching Levi when he was meant to be sparring with one of the newbies. The distraction meant that said newbie could land a sweeping kick that wiped Horse Face onto the floor.
Levi would have scoffed if he didn’t then see the others that were watching. It wasn’t all of them, that would have been ridiculous, but it was certainly enough and Levi did not feel comfortable with all the exposure. Despite being a rather carefree guy, Levi suddenly felt very exposed, very naked even.
The ones that were watching him were mid-pose, Mikasa even had a leg in the air. Levi looked around, his eyes thin and jaw tight. He had no fucking clue what they were doing and it was pissing him off. It was confusing him a hell of a lot too.
A little way away, stood in a doorway that went through to the mess hall, Levi even caught Erwin watching, his blue eyes focused. They watched each other for a moment, Levi curious as to what on earth that look in his eyes was. Before he could decipher it, Erwin turned and walked away and Levi didn’t remember when the hairs had risen across his body.
The others, however, were still staring and Levi glared at them all in turn until they flushed and looked away. Now that the moment was spoiled and Levi’s back was aching again, he put his shirt back on. At least it had lasted a little while before people stared at him for a reason he didn’t know and could not have explained even if he tried, even if he cared as well really.
As he started buttoning up his shirt, someone approached. Levi was in no mood to talk to anyone. Not only was his back aching but people were staring at him and he hated being stared at. It made him uneasy.
“If your back is aching,” Hanji began for they were the person to come up to him. “I know how to help.”
“Who said my back was aching?” Levi asked, continuing to button up his shirt, not wanting to be revealed any longer with so many people about.
“I can sense it, Levi,” Hanji said. “I can see it in your eyes, a deep pain.” Hanji attempted to reach a hand out to Levi as they joked but Levi slapped their hand away before it reached him.
“Don’t touch me, Four Eyes,” Levi said. “I bathed yesterday and I don’t want your stench on me. My back’s fine.”
“Fine, fine.” Hanji raised their hands in surrender. “But say, if you did have a bad back in your old age-,”
“I won’t hesitate to kick your ass, Shit Glasses.”
“Yeah, yeah, okay. If you did, doing proper exercise helps. If you’re more flexible, that is. I know you are already, I’ve seen you kick higher than even Mike’s head, but practicing that flexibility helps, it eases you up.”
“I don’t have a bad back.”
“Are you sure? Because all that stretching earlier…” Hanji grinned.
“Whatever,” Levi dismissed as he started doing up his cravat. “The day I take advice from you, Four Eyes, is the day the Titans eradicate mankind.”
Saying that, however, Levi got to it the next day.
Their indoor training area had a lot of apparatus for doing those kinds of exercises, for doing the sort flexibility training that the Scouts needed for their manoeuvres. Levi had always been flexible, it was something he had just picked up and always been able to use to climb and get in and out of places with ease. Most of the Corps had to be flexible or learn to be otherwise they couldn’t use the gear. Levi simply had a knack for it.
And, although he would never admit it to Hanji, being able to work out and being able to move his supple body across the bars and the rings did ease up the strain in his back. Being able to bend and focus his body’s attention on something else, like swinging up through the rings, it lessened the tension in his back.
Not many used this area of the training facility, a lot of them thought it was pointless considering they had the gear to help them learn to keep their balance and how to build up their core strength, but Levi liked it. The balance beam that he could do his jumps and leaps and turns on made Levi feel a lot better about his levels of balance. Being able to keep a handstand up whilst atop it, gracefully moving up and down the beam, it helped Levi release the taut feeling that plagued him by focusing on other things.
The mats helped him do flips and lands whilst not putting too much pressure on his back. The parallel and uneven bars helped him switch and twirl, helping him to practise his reaction times and upper arm strength. All of it, it helped Levi practise and relax, his back seeming to enjoy the change in training schemes.
He knew the proper decorum, he wrapped his hands properly in the bindings, giving his wrists the support that was necessary for the strain he would be putting on them. He knew how to hold himself, how to perform properly. Training, flexibility, it was just something he knew.
Levi often wished he spent more time in there but the needs required of him as a Captain did not allow for such. This was an alone time speciality, somewhere he went when he knew he had absolutely nothing else to do. The fact it was so rarely used and thankfully not discarded for another scheme aided Levi and he wished he had more time to use it. Now that his back was so bad, maybe he would find the time. That would be grand.
Although he spent so little time in there, he had his routine. Starting on the balance beam, he worked himself up. Doing a few flips to ease himself up and practise his balance, he would then get into more vigorous tumbles and vaults. He would traverse up and down the beam, never slipping and never messing up.
He had practised on the beam many times over his years in the Survey Corps, and he knew how to perform when atop it. Multiple times, Levi would work his way up and down the beam, flipping and twirling repeatedly. It was enough to make anyone feel dizzy, but not Levi. Levi could do flip after flip and never feel woozy.
Once he worked on the beam, building his confidence up, he would go to the parallel bars next. Flipping, twisting, turning, he would keep himself strong whilst also working on his litheness. He felt elegant, though he would never admit that to anyone. He had seen other people work on this equipment and, when they did it well, he could appreciate the beauty in which they worked and trained. It was something he felt like he was doing, he felt like he too would look graceful as he jumped and leapt between the bars.
The uneven bars came next, something that allowed him to gain momentum and keep his reaction times up to perfection. He never missed, not ever. He could jump from one to the other with ease, not a second of doubt in his mind with his timings. He spent a long time there, working himself up effortlessly, landing with only perfection in mind.
His flexibility would be tested to the extreme as he performed manoeuvre after manoeuvre. His back forgot the feeling of pain as he trained himself, speed increasing after every turn. He never missed, he performed precision every time, his grip never faltering as he moved. This sort of practice, he was just something he knew. From one bar to the other, he moved without difficulty, his lithe body just knowing what to do when it came to it.
With the rings, he could again work on his strength as he kept himself parallel in the air. After a fair few seconds, his muscles would shake, but the burn was what he needed. It mean it was working. He could twist and turn and the burn that came with it, it felt right to Levi, he liked it.
The mats, they didn’t take up much time but he still practised on them. Flipping onto the mats did ease his back up. If he landed wrong, that would have been dreadful and hurt him even more, but Levi never landed wrong. He landed perfectly and it helped the stress buried within the depths of his back.
He always ended by going on the balance beam again. The second time around, Levi performed gentler movements to work down from the more vigorous training he had done on the equipment. Levi executed a handstand, his eyes closed and breathing calm, form absolutely impeccable as always. He would practise nothing but perfection. Steadily, Levi split his legs apart, again in flawless form as he kept his back and legs in level position. He held it for a long while, breathing and keeping his balance.
Going into his next manoeuvre, Levi slowly twisted his arms and lowered his legs until he was standing again before gracefully going into the splits by doing another gentle somersault. His legs strained, not having done the splits in a while, but he got there. Stretching himself out, keeping his back up, it was good. It felt good.
A level of calm came over him, something Levi felt so rarely considering the life he led. So he stayed there for a moment, keeping his legs stretched and his arms steady, his back forgetting what pain had once been.
The door behind Levi opened but he couldn’t look around to see it in his current position. Therefore, in order to seem casual, Levi gripped the balance beam with both hands before flipping himself over into a handstand again. Now, facing the door still in his handstand position, Levi could look upon who entered.
Even from upside down, Levi could see it was Erwin, watching him with those goddamn curious eyes again. Levi watched, the blood rushing to his head a little too quickly. He dismounted gracefully and stood, waiting for whatever it was that Erwin was going to say.
“Why were Jaeger and Arlet watching through the window a moment ago?” Erwin asked.
Levi had no idea what he was talking about. “What?”
“I saw a few of them looking in through that window there.” Erwin pointed at the window Levi had had his back to for most of the time. “They ran when they saw me coming. What was going on?”
“How am I supposed to know?” Levi asked, his mind being sent wild as to what the fuck they were staring at, though he didn’t let his face show it. He never let his face show what he was thinking.
“You were the one who was in here,” Erwin said and Levi could see something in his eyes, something Levi couldn’t put his finger on.
“I was just training,” Levi said, feeling that Erwin’s gaze was just that little too heavy and wondering why on earth he didn’t feel uncomfortable underneath it. In fact, Levi wondered why on earth he liked Erwin looking at him like that.
“Okay,” Erwin said slowly. “Hanji said you were having some back problems.”
“Well, if Hanji knew what they were talking about, we would have wiped out the Titans years ago.”
“Wow, harsh,” Erwin said, almost smiling.
That damn smile, Levi thought. It almost made Levi smile, which was one of the most peculiar feelings Levi had ever experienced.
“I’m not in a good mood,” Levi said.
“And when are you ever?” Erwin asked, actually smiling now.
Levi scoffed and looked away, desperately trying to suppress his urge to smile.
“Saunas help with that,” Erwin said when Levi did not respond.
“Yeah, well when I tried to do that, somebody walked in on me and made me sign some bullshit Expedition paper, didn’t they?” Levi said, quirking an eyebrow at Erwin who was still smiling.
“It needs to be hotter than that,” Erwin said. “There’s one in the Capital-,”
“If I ever willingly set foot there, please, shoot me,” Levi said, grabbing his shirt as he began to exit the training centre. His back was beginning to ache again. It was like an illness he could never escape.
Erwin laughed lightly as he accompanied Levi outside, Levi unwrapping his bindings as he went. When they got out, they caught Eren, Jean, and Armin trying to sneak around the building like Erwin had spotted them before. The two of them stopped, staring at the three youngsters who were flaring up in brilliant shades of scarlet.
“What are you doing?” Levi asked, confusion in his tone.
“Walking,” Eren answered, his voice shaky. He tried a smile and Levi’s brow furrowed further.
“You can walk to the broom closet and go and sweep the barracks then,” Levi said and continued to walk without leaving room for argument. Erwin walked with him and Levi got this strange sense of warmth spreading through his chest, though he couldn’t account for that. He guessed it was because he had seen Jaeger and Jaeger always got him riled up with his goddamn smile and chipper attitude. He hated that.
“I think I should take you to the sauna. You’re grumpier than usual,” Erwin said as they made their way to the main building of HQ.
“I think you should let me be,” Levi retorted.
“Sorry for caring about your health.”
“I’d forgive you if I did.”
“Did what?”
“Forgive you.”
“What?”
“How dumb do you have to be to be the Commander?” Levi asked, glancing up at Erwin who was watching him with an odd smile on his lips. Why it sent a warmth spreading through Levi, he didn’t know, so he looked away and opened the door for Erwin.
“Go to a sauna,” Erwin said as they went to go their separate ways.
“Kiss my ass,” Levi retorted, knowing it was risky to say such a thing to the Commander of the Survey Corps but also knowing Erwin wouldn’t mind. He liked Levi’s humour.
“Maybe later,” Erwin said with a smile.
Levi scoffed and turned away. He wasn’t totally sure why he looked back to Erwin before he turned the corner, but he did know that he liked to make Erwin smile. Having a happy Commander was good, that’s why Levi did it, right? Just to keep him happy. Yeah, that had to be the reason.
The rest of the day was spent in a dull agony. Levi went to lie down, hoping to soothe his muscles that way, but it didn’t work. He tried to focus on other things like reading, but he hated reading so that didn’t work at all. He even tried spending some time with Jaeger and the others but they were so boring, Levi’s back actually hurt more, so he had to leave for fear of collapsing.
The next day, Levi was going to do something he had never done before; yoga. He had seen it done, known that a lot of people did it to keep flexible and calm, but never wanted to do it himself. It seemed a pompous act but Levi was resorting to his last measures. His back was paining him more and more with each hour that passed and he would resort to the worst kinds of things just to not feel the dull ache anymore.
He knew a few of the poses for he had seen them done before and they seemed easy to execute, especially considering how flexible he already was. The names escaped him but he knew how to do them, how to stretch his back up, how to rest his weight equally between both his feet and his hands. It wasn’t doing it that was the problem.
The problem was that there wasn’t enough room to practise in his quarters, which meant he had to do it outside. He didn’t want to do it where everyone could see him, but his back was in so much pain, he had no choice. He had no choice in where he did it, he had no choice in the looser fabrics he had to wear, and he certainly had no choice in how much his back was hurting. This constant ache would go away somehow and if that was done by doing yoga in the middle of their surrounding fields, then so be it.
If anyone laughed, he would break their necks and that was that. Even if it was funny, which it really wasn’t because Levi doing yoga poses was not funny whatsoever, no one would have laughed at Levi. Levi was too intimidating to laugh at.
For the most part, Levi didn’t know he was being watched, mainly because they were all doing it discreetly. Eren, Armin, Mikasa, Jean, hell even Connie was watching Levi as he stretched, his back arching in the perfect curve. How could they not? It was a beautiful sight and they were entranced.
Erwin was being less discreet about it, standing beside a tree and watching as Levi did a handstand, his eyes closed as he stretched up. Secretly, Erwin was thanking God above that Levi’s back was aching. He got to watch him spar, watch him test his flexibility, and now watch him do yoga, something Erwin never would have even believed Levi would know about, let alone do.
It was by pure accident that he caught him doing everything at the exact time he did it, but Erwin wasn’t complaining. Currently, he was on his way to brief Eren about the Expedition plan and he had caught Levi in the middle of him being on all fours, stretching up so his back was curved and his crotch was close to the floor. Erwin had once known the name for that pose but seeing Levi do it had made him forget everything he once knew. Levi was too important for him to remember things like that.
And Levi was oblivious. Completely oblivious to all the eyes ogling him and his perfect form and his perfect body and his perfect everything. Well, that was until he did that dog pose where his ass was high in the air and he caught everyone through the gap in his legs.
Freezing for a moment, Levi then stood and glared at them, all of their cheeks flushing except for Erwin’s. They all dispersed quickly except for Erwin. They all felt embarrassed except for Erwin. Erwin wanted Levi to know he had been watching him and Levi, for the life of him, couldn’t figure out why.
“If I catch anyone staring again, I’ll make it so they can’t shit, ever,” Levi said as he went back to the barracks, Erwin’s gaze heavy on him, making him shiver.
He could have spent more time thinking about it if his back didn’t fucking hurt so much. The Expedition was fast approaching and Levi’s back was not improving. It was the worst, the dullest of pains that he couldn’t rid himself of no matter how hard he tried. He willed it with all of his being and it wouldn’t stop. Levi hated everything.
He was back in Erwin’s office, the two of them going over last minute details to keep everything succinct and safe. Of course they couldn’t guarantee anything but going over it in detail reassured Levi. If they could keep to the plan, they would be okay, Levi had to be sure of that.
“Could you get me the papers on the older formation plans, Levi?” Erwin asked since he was focused so intently on the details of where Eren would be and when.
Levi nodded and went to the bookshelf in Erwin’s office that kept those kinds of details and papers. Looking through them, Levi then spotted it, on the top shelf, one that was much too high for Levi to reach even if his back was totally fine. He tried stretching up, tried to hook his fingers in the papers or the books to shuffle it out but he couldn’t reach.
Then his back contracted and he winced. With one hand, he held onto the throbbing area and tried to reach up again. He wouldn’t give up, this would not defeat him. It was perhaps a little strong of an attitude to take when it was only some files but Levi was a man that committed one hundred percent to everything.
Before he knew it, however, someone was behind him, much too close, breath hot on his neck that was arched up. Levi felt his body spark though he didn’t understand why.
“What?” Levi asked, looking back and up to him to see his features that were much closer than they had ever been before.
“You need a massage,” Erwin said. “You can’t keep going on like this, not with the Expedition in a few days.”
“I don’t need a massage,” Levi spat.
“So what, are you going to climb it like some ape?” Erwin asked in relation to the bookshelf.
“What the fuck is an ape?” Levi asked, looking at him like he were insane.
“It’s this creature that climbs trees, I’ve read about them in books.”
“Okay. Whatever.” Levi went back to try and grab the collection of papers from the top shelf but was stopped by Erwin who grabbed his hand and pulled him away. “The fuck are you doing?”
“I’m giving you a massage,” Erwin answered simply, going into his quarters that were to the side of his office.
“Excuse me?” Levi was not that comfortable with the idea. “Whores give massages, not Commanders.” Levi didn’t believe that, not after his mother, but it was too intimate and Levi didn’t really know how he felt about intimacy.
“Be quiet and lie on the bed,” Erwin stated once they had entered the room.
Levi halted in his place. He had never been in Erwin’s quarters before, never expected to be in Erwin’s quarters for that matter. It was larger than Levi’s but that was to be expected, he was Commander after all. It was messy too, which Levi had also sort of expected because Erwin was always more focused on their mission. There were papers strewn on the floor, on each surface, just everywhere.
The bed was large with heavy sheets atop it. It was enticing, Levi’s pained back almost called to go and lie on it. But he wouldn’t. Not only did Levi think it inappropriate for the Commander to be touching him in that way in his own bed, but he also wasn’t sure how he felt about the intimacy. Something strange was stirring within him at the thought of Erwin touching his body and he wasn’t sure if he wanted it become a reality.
“Levi, we need you in the best condition and having a backache is not going to help,” Erwin said, standing much closer to Levi than Levi remembered him being before.
“It’s just a backache.”
“Please, lie on the bed,” Erwin said, his voice soft and making Levi’s stomach do flips, ones he couldn’t understand.
Levi sighed and went to approach the bed.
“And take off your shirt and vest,” Erwin added as he went to one of the bedside tables that had drawers within.
Levi stopped walking. “Fuck off.”
Erwin did not look around, he continued searching through his drawers for something. “You can’t be massaged properly with a shirt on.”
“Yes, I can.”
“No, you can’t.” Erwin pulled a bottle out of the drawer.
“The fuck is that?” Levi asked.
“Oil.”
“For what?”
“Massaging, Levi.”
“Why on earth would you have that?”
“You know, probably for massaging, I can imagine that would be the case for such a thing.” Erwin turned and gave a smile. “Do you not like being touched?” Erwin asked, genuinely and not mockingly.
Levi didn’t mind being touched as long as it was with consent, but he wasn’t sure how he felt about being touched by Erwin. There was this odd feeling spreading through him at the thought and he wasn’t sure what it was, so he didn’t know what to do.
“No,” Levi answered.
“Then would you please lie on the bed, for me.”
Why did he have to add ‘for me’, Levi thought in his head. He sighed again and started unstrapping the straps under Erwin’s rather heavy gaze. It was raising the hairs across Levi’s body but he couldn’t pinpoint where that was coming from. He continued to unstrap until he had to undo the buttons of his shirt as well. Once he removed his vest he felt very nude, especially under Erwin’s stare, searching his body for something.
Levi cleared his throat and Erwin’s eyes looked up to meet Levi’s. Gesturing to the bed again, Levi made his way over and lay down on his front, keeping his head up on his hands propped up by his elbows.
“It works best if you lie flat,” Erwin said as he undid his own shirt.
“What are you doing?” Levi asked.
“I’m not getting oil on my clothes, Levi,” Erwin explained simply. “Can you lie flat, please?”
With another sigh, Levi dropped off his hands and lay flat against the bed. It wasn’t long before Erwin’s hands were on his body, slick with oil. They worked gently at first, sliding up and down the entirety of his spine in slow movements before he would press his thumbs into the muscle and skin, working their way to relieve the stress and knots.
At first, Levi could restrain the moans of pleasure, being able to keep them restricted to his throat. It felt amazing, Levi had never had a massage before and he had never wanted one. It was an intimate act, being so revealed and letting himself be touched. Levi never thought he would be comfortable enough for that, but here he was with Erwin, being touched in a way he never thought he would have liked.
Then Erwin started using deeper movements, still going slow but pressing his palms into the muscle, relieving the tension with every movement. He used his oiled hands to travel down Levi’s porcelain skin and up again, stopping at his shoulders to press in. That’s when Levi moaned. He knew he shouldn’t have but he couldn’t help it.
The knots were disappearing, the stress evaporating away and Levi couldn’t help but moan at the release. Erwin’s hands were large and they worked Levi’s skin hard but it felt so good, it was the perfect remedy for his pains. Another moan left his lips and Levi could hear Erwin laughing lightly above him.
“Something tells me you’re enjoying this, Levi,” Erwin said, his voice thick with something Levi couldn’t even guess at.
“Shut up,” Levi retorted though his tone was airy in his pleasure.
“Would you mind if I got on the bed? It would be better for leverage,” Erwin asked, his hands working at Levi’s hips.
“What, you gonna fuck me too?” Levi asked though he found he wasn’t opposed to the idea.
“Maybe,” Erwin said, so quietly Levi had to strain to hear it.
“What?”
“Nothing,” Erwin dismissed. “May I?”
“Whatever.”
Erwin didn’t hesitate as he climbed onto the bed. He settled himself over Levi, his legs either side of Levi’s and, although it was more intimate than Levi had been in months with anyone, it felt oddly right. Erwin’s presence was warm and fitting above him and Levi almost liked the feeling, though he would never admit it. He just wanted his back to stop hurting, that had to be the reason, right?
There was silence between them for a good long while, well, bar Levi’s moans. Erwin worked his hands into Levi’s back, easing him up and making him relax. Levi could practically feel his bones melting, his body almost being absorbed by the bed in which he lay, Erwin a comfortable weight above him.
Even the silence was comfortable, Levi often found that the silences were with Erwin. He enjoyed his company a hell of a lot more than any of the others in the Corps. Maybe Hanji wasn’t so bad, he could get on with Hanji and some of the others, but he never liked to be in silence with them like he liked being in silence with Erwin, absorbing each other’s company.
“Levi, do you know what you’re doing to me?” Erwin asked, his voice thick.
“What?” Levi’s tone was soft in his state of relaxation but also in his confusion as he had no idea what Erwin was referring to.
“You are driving me insane,” Erwin said, his hands still traversing Levi’s body, working at the skin and making Levi melt further.
“I didn’t realise I pissed you off that much.” Levi was clueless as to what he was talking about.
“It’s not anger I feel towards you, not ever,” Erwin said, his hands losing their working depth and instead just feeling the curves of Levi’s body. Levi should have complained, he should have told him that this was no massage but he liked the feeling of Erwin’s hands roaming across his body.
“Then what is it?” Levi could feel the hairs rising high across him, Erwin’s touch sparking where it met his skin.
“I don’t even know, your body just drives me wild.”
“My body?” Levi asked, not understanding why he was still just lying there when everything had gotten a lot more personal, a lot more intimate.
“Yes.”
“Are you getting off on this?”
“Yes.”
Levi didn’t know what to say. What could he say back to that? He had never believed Erwin would feel such things for him, and now he was knelt above him, touching his body and confessing how he felt about his body. Levi almost felt like he was dreaming for this couldn’t be real. But Erwin’s hands were too prominent upon his skin and he knew it couldn’t be a dream.
“You’ve gone quiet,” Erwin said, and Levi could hear the uncertainty.
“What am I meant to say?”
“I’ve been too forward,” Erwin said and he removed his hands from Levi’s body.
Instantly, Levi felt bare, as if Erwin’s hands were all he needed to feel complete. He didn’t know what he was doing but he was taking a leap of faith, something Levi hated doing but had done a lot of in his life.
“Wait,” Levi said and, with some shuffling, turned around so he was led on his back, staring up at Erwin whose eyes were dark with something like lust.
“Forgive me,” Erwin said, though he did not move from his position. “I was meant to be aiding you with your ailments and I got distracted by personal endeavours-,”
“You talk like you’re reading a dictionary, you know that?” Levi asked, trying to keep the moment light for something heavy lay in the atmosphere, something like romance perhaps.
Erwin smiled and Levi’s heart started beating faster and, now, he had more of inkling as to where it was coming from. Erwin was still wearing his vest but Levi could admire his body, all its muscle and strength, Levi yearend to reach out and touch him, to run his hands across his body like Erwin had just done to him. He shook the idea out of his head.
With his chest rising and falling heavily, Erwin almost looked nervous. Levi had never seen him look like that, he knew Erwin to be a confident man, someone who spoke in front of hundreds of people and talked to those in power for funding. Erwin was not an anxious man. Levi did not understand what was going on.
“Is that why you stared at me in the bath?” Levi asked, his voice more tender than Levi himself thought possible.
“I couldn’t help it,” Erwin said, almost apologetically. “And then you were doing all those moves on that beam and… I don’t know.”
“Were you staring through the window too?”
Erwin nodded solemnly. “Not with Eren and the others, but I was, yes-,”
“Why is everyone staring at me?” Levi asked, his voice so goddamn tender.
“Because you’re gorgeous,” Erwin said. “Completely beautiful. Just… I can’t even explain it.”
“But I hate everyone.” Levi was confused.
Erwin laughed lightly through his nose. “That doesn’t stop you from being beautiful.”
Never having been complimented like that before, Levi didn’t know what to say. His back pain was long forgotten, but it had been replaced by a deep confusion and an almost flustered feeling overwhelming him instead.
“Have I been too forward?” Erwin asked, still unsure.
Levi shrugged.
“Would you like me to get off?”
Levi shook his head.
“You have to give me something to work with, Levi,” Erwin said, a gentle smile still playing at his lips.
Levi, not knowing what else to do, ran a hand up Erwin’s clothed stomach and chest until it rested on the back of Erwin’s neck. From there, Levi gently pulled down until Erwin was arching his back over Levi, lips close and breath hot. Their pupils were enlarging, engulfing the colour of their eyes as they stared deep, searching each other.
A moment of hesitation passed and Levi felt completely foreign, alien to all around him. He had never had a lover. Sure, he had had sex, but it was never a loving act, it was just something he did. This was not something he knew, this was something he had never been through before and never even considered going through, especially not with the Commander of the Survey Corps.
Then Erwin was kissing him and Levi forgot everything he had been thinking. Erwin’s lips were soft, gently moving against Levi’s in a way Levi had never experienced before. His lips were warm and they tasted sweet, of something Levi had never tasted.
Erwin hummed into Levi’s lips and Levi felt blood rush down towards his cock. With Erwin on top of him, Levi did not want that to happen. Unless that was what Erwin wanted, Levi didn’t know. Levi was feeling a lot of different things and he didn’t know what to focus on. He directed his attention to Erwin’s lips between his own.
Typically, Levi was a rough lover but this felt different to the typical encounters he had had. Levi liked lips that bruised, he liked skin slapping skin, he liked coming with his head thrown back and with the uncontrollable jerking of his body, he did not know a tender loving. But he felt very prepared to learn this different loving if it involved Erwin. Perhaps it would be better, maybe there would be meaning or something he could get from it. Levi didn’t know, but he was ready to find out.
Erwin flicked his tongue against Levi’s bottom lip and their tongues met in slow sessions, slicking their lips up. Levi couldn’t help but release a small moan into the kiss, his body melting into the bed almost like when he was being massaged.
They broke apart, chests rising and falling rapidly and breath hot. For a moment, they paused, watching each other and gaging a reaction, and then Erwin was removing his vest to reveal his bare chest. Levi had seen it before, many times in fact, but with a different context, Levi studied him. He had a lot of hair on his chest, thick and blonde as it travelled down and disappeared below the line of his trousers.
Levi himself had very little hair across his body but Erwin didn’t seem to mind, his hands lightly travelling down his front and coming to rest at his hips that were a little on the prominent side. His eyes were filled with awe, a deep lust alongside it.
“I want to make love to you, Levi,” Erwin said, his eyes travelling back up Levi’s body until they settled on Levi’s eyes again.
“I don’t know how.”
“To have sex?”
“To make love.”
“Then let me show you,” Erwin said and he leaned down to kiss Levi again.
Keeping their lips connected, Erwin moved his hands down to Levi’s trousers and undid them. Shuffling occurred as they rid Levi of his trousers and straps, leaving him in his tight underwear, his swelling cock beginning to press against the fabric. Erwin kept them together as he rubbed Levi through the cloth, making Levi moan into Erwin’s mouth.
Levi rutted into Erwin’s hand but not in a jerk, slowly instead. Typically, Levi would have ripped their clothes off, but he wanted it slow, he wanted it loving. Erwin was giving him something he hadn’t ever wanted before and the rubbing of his cock through the fabric with Erwin’s palm was exactly what he desired.
However, he was not at all unhappy when Erwin slipped his hand underneath the hem of his underwear and started playing with Levi’s cock, no restrictions between them. Erwin’s hand was warm and it wrapped around Levi’s cock perfectly, fitting him as Levi thrust into the contact.
Erwin smiled into their kiss and Levi wasn’t sure as to why he liked it being so tender or why he liked Erwin smiling into him, but he just did. He liked it when Erwin moaned at the feel of Levi’s cock in his hand. He liked it when Erwin kissed down his jaw and neck. He liked it when Erwin peppered kisses down stomach and hips. He liked Erwin.
Then Erwin was sucking his cock, slow and lazily as he took him into his throat. Levi’s head was thrust back into the pillow, his hands locked in Erwin’s hair as his cock started pulsing at the feel of Erwin around him. Very rarely did Levi take instead of give, but Erwin was a commanding man and Levi would have done anything he asked at that moment in time. His cock was well into Erwin’s throat as he sucked and Levi had never felt such an ecstasy.
With Erwin’s hands resting lightly on Levi’s thighs, Levi was sparking at the touch, his body growing sensitive as Erwin hollowed his cheeks and swallowed against Levi’s long cock. Chancing a glance down to watch Erwin work, his stomach lurching, Erwin looked up at him and their eyes met. Both were filled with lust and Levi couldn’t maintain the eye contact for long before he threw his head back into the pillows, his body feeling boneless.
Erwin hummed against him and Levi softly moaned Erwin’s name, unable to restrain himself. Levi’s body had never felt so relaxed, Erwin’s mouth the perfect remedy to all his tension. Levi’s serenity consumed his entire being.
As Erwin continued to suck, using the base of his tongue to keep Levi wet, Erwin’s name became a chant, a prayer that Levi repeated over and over again. His body was reacting like fire to Erwin’s touch, everything accumulating to become a perfection he had never known before.
Taking him deep into his throat, Erwin consistently hummed against him, causing vibrations to soar through Levi’s body. His sense of touch heightened to an extreme, the head of his cock touching the back of Erwin’s throat and making him react in fits of pleasure, his hand grasping the sheets of the bed desperately. Some of the moans he made, he did not even think they were possible, but Erwin was making him keen and mewl more than he had ever done in his entire life just in this session of his cock being sucked.
Erwin kissed a sloppy line up Levi’s cock from the base to the head, licking the sensitive slit to make Levi squirm in a fit of pleasure. His whole body was beginning to burn in his state of passion, a certain level of love consuming him as he realised just how much he had yearned for this ever since he had met Erwin.
As Erwin poured oil onto his fingers and stretched Levi’s tight hole, Levi realised how much he had wanted Erwin. Every time they had been out there together, Levi came to understand why he was always looking out for Erwin, always checking he was all right. Levi had always craved being in his arms, and with Erwin inside him, he could finally have that.
It was a slight burn, but it was so good, it was just what Levi needed and now coveted. Erwin was planting messy kisses along his chest and stomach and Levi wanted the moment to last forever, he wanted Erwin forever. Never in his life had he felt so soppy, so loving. Erwin was there, making love to him and Levi wanted nothing else, just Erwin and his love.
Erwin’s lips and tongue were hot, and Levi’s body was burning in passion. His very skin was burning, sweat brimming as Erwin lightly sucked and nipped, marking him. Levi wanted to be marked, he wanted Erwin to make him his own. No one else could do this to Levi, Levi didn’t want anyone else to do this to him. This kind of loving, it was for Erwin and Levi would have it from no one else.
He gradually stretched Levi open, going from one digit to two to, eventually, three. Playing with his prostate delicately, Levi was practically thrashing around on the bed. It was a slow love and Levi was accustomed to it being fast, over and done with within a couple of minutes.
This love, it was much better. Levi had time to take in the feel of Erwin inside him, the feel of being stretched and made love to. His throat was being incredibly active, more so than usual because it was so different and so good. Erwin was treating him like a lover, like someone he cared for. His fingers were deep and Levi didn’t quite know what to do, only that he wanted Erwin forever, wanted him to love him like this forever.
Once Levi was stretched well enough for his cock, Erwin had to sit up so he could strip, Levi feeling bare without him. But then he saw Erwin in all his naked glory, his massive cock red and seeping. Levi couldn’t help his lips parting in admiration, his body clenching in anticipation to be around that huge cock.
As Erwin oiled himself up, Levi was rocking his hips back and forward to get friction against his own cock, desperate to feel Erwin inside him. Gently, Erwin pulled Levi up so his ass rested on Erwin’s thighs and then Erwin didn’t take long before he pressed his cock into him.
He held onto his hips, light and not even enough to bruise which Levi would have normally done, and then he found a rhythm. It was slow, their bodies moving as one and together in a way Levi had never experienced before. Erwin worked him until his cock was in Levi to the hilt, rocking his hips back and forth, Levi not being able to stop moaning and whimpering.
They worked at each slowly, their bodies melting as they made love in a way Levi did not even know was possible. His body was reacting, his skin sparking in a thousand different ways. If this was love, Levi did not recognise it but he was happy to figure it out, especially if Erwin was the one giving it to him.
Erwin bent over and their lips collided with tongue and teeth. Levi moaned into him, Erwin following suit as they rocked into each other. It got faster, as it always did, their bodies desperate to reach a climax because everything just felt so perfect. Levi’s stomach was tight but he never wanted it to end, he wanted Erwin against him and in him, their bodies like one.
Wrapping his arms tight around Erwin’s neck, he kept their bodies close, skin sliding over skin with ease considering the sweat that was covering the both of them in their state of euphoria. He never wanted it to end, Erwin was filling him and he had never felt so complete.
But his stomach was too tight, his cock pulsing too desperately. He wouldn’t be able to keep it up for long, his breathing restricted as he felt Erwin deep inside him, pressing his prostate so that Levi’s body felt better than it had ever done in his entire life. This type of love making was not meant to last long and Levi couldn’t have kept it up.
Levi came over his stomach, hot and wet, coating himself in his own semen in heavy loads. His cock jerked, his body twitching in his overwhelming orgasm from fucking so gently with another person. Bliss consumed him as he called Erwin’s name a final time.
A few thrusts later and Erwin was coming, filling Levi up as he continued rocking his hips forward to get the extent of his own orgasm. His semen was hot inside Levi but Levi liked it, liked knowing that Erwin had come inside him. As he pulled out, Erwin was still coming, his cock slick from his semen as his breathing tried to calm, his chest moving erratically.
For a moment, they lay there in silence, Levi’s ass still lying on Erwin’s thighs and their bodies still touching, sweat sliding across them. It was that perfect kind of silence, the two of them relishing in the moment. Levi’s serenity continued to grow and he did not understand how it came from fucking, but perhaps that was because he had made love instead, a different type of sex to what Levi knew.
Once they calmed, breathing gaining normality, Levi removed himself from Erwin’s body and padded over to the adjoining bathroom because there was no way he was going to sit there, covered in come as it crusted. He may have been in a state of rapture, his body feeling better than it had in years, but his hygiene and cleanliness still came first.
After wiping himself down with a wetted cloth, ridding himself of both their come, Erwin came in to join him. They were comfortable with their nakedness as Erwin too dabbed down his thighs and softening cock. Come was so inconvenient sometimes.
Levi needed a little help wiping down his ass since he couldn’t contort his arms like that, and Erwin aided him with it. Their comfortability was high, higher than Levi thought it could be with another person. There was a love in his touch, a love Levi had missed out on with all his other encounters in love and sex.
“Stay with me, for the night,” Erwin said as they exited the bathroom.
“Why?” Levi had never had an experience like that and he wasn’t sure what came next.
“Because I want you to,” Erwin said.
Levi considered it for a moment but was still unsure. That was until Erwin took his hand lightly and led him to the bed where they curled up next to each other. Levi found that he preferred sleeping with someone by his side, someone he trusted. He felt safer that way even though they were both very naked underneath the sheet.
“Did you just do that because you were horny?” Levi asked, doubt still in his mind because he always had doubts about everything.
“Whilst your body is completely irresistible, no. I did not just do that because I’m horny, Levi,” Erwin answered, kissing the top of Levi’s head compassionately. “How’s your back feeling?”
“Good,” Levi said, his hands resting on Erwin’s chest, feeling his heartbeat. “Really good.”