Work Text:
"I'm not sure I understand," said Fraser, holding up E. coli by its purple tendrils.
"They're toys, Frase," said Ray. "They're supposed to be played with, not understood. Didn't you ever have toys as a kid?"
"As a matter of fact-"
"Oh God, don't get him started," muttered Vecchio, cutting him off. He was rifling through a display of the classics: common cold, sore throat, fuzzy green influenza... "I've heard this one before; it's all, 'and for my 6th birthday I received a book, and for my 7th birthday I received another book. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.'
"Surely," said Fraser, trying a new tactic, "they are intended to serve an educational purpose. I'm just not sure I see the benefit in anthropomorphizing microscopic organisms. Particularly microscopic organisms that cause considerable harm to the human body." Fraser picked up Chlamydia, and then dropped it abruptly, turning a little red.
"Whoever makes this stuff is thinking about funny, not about anthropo-whatsits," said Ray. He gave mono a squeeze, making its googly eyes bug out. It was the only one with eyelashes. "Here's one for your niece, Vecchio," he said, tossing it over. "Warn her off dating so you don't have to waste time threatening boyfriends."
Vecchio scowled at him. "And here's one for you, Kowalski," he said, throwing Ray something with legs and feelers. "Goes with your personal hygiene."
"Louse. Yeah, that's real funny." Ray looked around for something to return the compliment. "Pimple, Athlete's foot, bad breath…" he read aloud. "Too bad they don't have 'Hair loss,' Vecchio."
"Actually, Ray, a receding hairline is more of a genetic predisposition-" Fraser caught Vecchio's deathglare and then hastily went back to arguing with Dief. "No, you can't. A stuffed flea is not a talisman that guards against infestation."
"I've got it," said Ray, holding up an orange blob. "Ear ache. This is what I get hanging around with the two of you."
"Now, Ray..."
"Like you're easy to work with, Kowalski." Vecchio had moved away from the bugs, and was now manhandling the display of body-part cells. "Hey, Benny. Catch."
Fraser held up the plushie, which was long, white, and kinda funky. "A brain cell, Ray?"
"You're probably missing a few," said Ray. "Like the one that tells you not to jump off buildings."
"Or onto speeding cars," added Vecchio.
"Or out of airplanes."
"Point taken," said Fraser, who knew from experience that this game could go on all night if he let it. He put the brain cell back in the box labeled 'Corporeals'. Fraser's hand brushed against one of the nerve cells, and he paused to give it weird little smile, and the tiniest shake of his head.
Ray did not know what that was about. Probably some Canadian thing.