Work Text:
French Connection (Plus Pike)
Drapeau: What the fuck is going on with Hollzy?
Pike: Good morning to you too I guess
Drapeau: 🖕🏻
Comeau: He's not wrong though. He's finally getting his dick wet with Rose Landry so I thought that would fix whatever was wrong with him lately but it's getting even worse! It's like he's not even on the ice anymore
JJ: Dude was like a monk before, probably was still a virgin and now his game is all fucked 😭 Goodbye cup #3
Pike: Trust me he wasn't a virgin
JJ: 🤨
Comeau: 🤨
Drapeau: Speak now Pike
Pike: Look, I wasn't going to air out his shit before but desperate times call for desperate measures
Pike: He was seeing that girl before. Name's Lily
JJ: 🤯
Drapeau: 🤯
Comeau: Saint Hollander had a secret side piece?
Comeau: How long?
Pike: Years
Drapeau: YEARS?
JJ: AND YOU'RE ONLY TELLING US NOW? YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TIME I WASTED TRYING TO SET HIM UP?
Pike: But it wasn't like that
Pike: Don't think they were truly together
Pike: Seemed messy as fuck
Pike: She lives in Boston
Drapeau: BOSTON???
Comeau: HIS GIRL IS A RAIDERS FAN
JJ: THAT'S TREASON
Pike: Don't know, he never officially told me about her but whenever we were in Boston he would sneak out of the hotel and come back with that post fuck glow
Drapeau: He did always play better in Boston than anywhere else
JJ: Hold up. You said he WAS seeing her. They're over? What happened?
Pike: I don't know. Last time we were there, he left to see her and came back hours later looking like a kicked puppy. I haven't seen him smile at his phone since
Comeau: He really was totally out of his game that day
Drapeau: And now he's with fucking Rose Landry but he still plays like shit 😭
Drapeau: We got to do something
JJ: You want to play matchmaker or something?
Drapeau: No, we can't just try to match him with any random girl. We need to get him and Lily back together
Comeau: You know you're starting to sound a lot like a deranged teenager
Drapeau: Fuck you!
Drapeau: You want the old Hollzy back or not?
JJ: What's your plan then?
Drapeau: We got to talk to Lily first and find out what happened
Comeau: So we need her number
Comeau: Pike, your time to shine has come
Pike: What the fuck do you want me to do? Steal his phone or something?
JJ: No you dumb shit!
JJ: Next time he takes a shower just get her number so we can text her
Pike: You guys are fucking freaks!
Pike: Fuck!
Pike: Fine, I'll fucking do it!
Pike: If Shane kills me you better take care of Jackie and the kids
JJ: 🫡
Drapeau: 🫡
Comeau: 🫡
●○●○●
Pike: I HAVE IT
Drapeau: Our hero 👏🏻
Comeau: C'mon, now! Add her right away
Pike: Fine
Pike: Just remember
Pike: Be nice
Pike: They're over but she really meant a lot to Shane
Pike: I think she still does
JJ: Who the fuck do you think we are? We can be nice
Comeau: Yeah, we want her back with Hollzy, we're not going to insult her or something
Pike: 🙄
Pike: Here goes nothing I guess
Pike has added Lily to the groupchat
Lily: What the fuck?
JJ: Hi 😁
Drapeau: Hello 😁
Comeau: Hey 😁
Pike: Hi! I know it looks weird but this is Hayden Pike
Pike: From the Montreal Metros
Pike: Shane's best friend
Lily: I know who you are, Pike. What I don't know is what Montreal's fifteenth best player wants from me?
Drapeau: Ouch 😬
Comeau; Feisty!
JJ: 😂
Pike: Look, I'm sorry. I know it must look really weird but I got your number from Shane's phone because we really need to talk to you
Lily: Give me one good reason to not text him right now and tell him what you did
Drapeau: Please!
Comeau: We're just trying to understand
Lily: Understand what? Hockey? You put puck into net, nothing complicated
Pike: We know you and Shane had a thing. And we know it's over now. We just want to know what happened
JJ: He's been playing like shit since you broke up with him
Lily: Watch your fucking mouth
Lily; He's still a million fucking times better than you
Lily: And who says I'm the one who broke up with him?
Drapeau; WHAT
Comeau: HE BROKE UP WITH YOU?
Lily: He's dating Rose Landry now, no? So why aren't you annoying her instead?
JJ: Because she might be hot as fuck but she's not you
Comeau: Hollzy always played like a fucking beast after seeing you
Drapeau: Now even you have to admit he isn't fully there anymore
Pike: You had some kind of magic working on him.
Pike: He was smiling like a high school girl messaging her crush whenever you two texted
Pike; You're the only girl I ever saw him text in all the years I've known him
Pike: So whatever happened, could it be just a big misunderstanding?
Lily: I tried for things to be more than just sex between us. He got scared and ran
Lily: And now he's with Rose Landry
Lily: Happy?
Lily: Now leave me alone
Drapeau: Don't go
Comeau: Wait!
JJ: Please
Pike: Look, as much as I love Shane, I'm the first one to admit that he's not the best at social stuff
Pike: And yes, he fucked up big time and it doesn't excuse walking out on you
Pike: But I mean it when I say he still has feelings for you
Pike: He might be dating her right now but she doesn't make him happy the way you did
Pike: So please, give him another chance
Drapeau: We want our old captain back 🙏
Comeau: Please 🙏 We'll do anything
JJ: Or we'll make Hollzy do anything you want 🙏
Lily: You don't have anything better to do?
Lily: Like practice for hockey because you really really need it!
Lily: Fuck
Lily: If he breaks up with Rose Landry then we can talk
Lily: I will not be a homewrecker
Pike: THANK YOU
JJ: OUR SAVIOR
Drapeau: 🙏
Comeau: I'LL DEDICATE THE CUP TO YOU WHEN WE WIN IT AT THE END OF THE SEASON
Lily: Cute how you think you stand a chance. This year will be the Raiders
Pike: I had almost forgotten you were from Boston
Lily: And you all have too much free time to not be Metros
Drapeau: Damn!
Comeau: 💀
JJ: Does Hollzy have some weird degradation kink or something? He likes it when you talk to him like that?
Lily: I don't talk to him like that because he's good. Unlike you. Second best player in the league
Pike: Second?
Pike: Who's first
Lily: Rozanov
JJ: 😂
Drapeau: Of course Hollander is fucking a girl obsessed with his rival
Comeau: You ever wore a Rozanov jersey in bed to tease him?
Pike: GUYS
Pike: Keep it classy fuck!
JJ: She started it
JJ: Don't tell me you're not wondering what Saint Hollander is up to in bed
Pike: NO!
Pike: He's my best friend
Pike: Jesus fucking christ!
Drapeau: He's got to be good for you to have put up with him for years
Lily: Best I ever had
Lily: And I had a lot
Lily: That's all I’m going to say
Comeau: You're not a hooker are you? Is that how you met? He hired you one time and the dick was so good you kept coming back for more
Comeau: Or it was the opposite and he's the one who loved your pussy so much he begged for more?
Pike has removed Comeau from the groupchat
Pike: Excuse him, he was raised in a fucking barn
Pike: I promise he can behave
Drapeau has added Comeau to the groupchat
Drapeau: Apologize
Drapeau: Now
Comeau: Sorry
JJ: Promise we're not all animals like him
Comeau: I said I was sorry
Comeau: Won't happen again
Lily: Why is Hollander even friends with you?
●○●○●
Comeau: HOLY SHIT
Drapeau: THE ALL STARS GAME
Drapeau: I KNOW IT DOESN'T COUNT AND IT'S NOT THE SAME AS A REGULAR GAME BUT THAT GOAL?
Drapeau: THAT WAS CLASSIC HOLLZY
Pike: WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK
JJ: LILY? WHAT DID YOU DO?
Lily: You're welcome 😉
Comeau: FUCK YES!
Drapeau: 🍾🍾🍾
JJ: THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE 😭
Pike: What about Rose Landry? It's over?
Lily: They broke up. Her team will release a statement next week
Lily: Not a homewrecker, I told you
JJ: Not that we would have minded though
JJ: OUR CAPTAIN IS BACK
Drapeau: So what happened? Cause he had that post-Lily glow on the ice? You sent him nudes or something?
Lily: Why bother with pictures when the real thing is right there?
Pike: WAIT!
JJ: WHAT
Comeau: DOES THAT MEAN YOU'RE IN TAMPA?
Drapeau: HOW? HE BROKE UP WITH HER AND FLEW YOU OUT?
Lily: A girl doesn't kiss and tell
Lily: But I had to be in Tampa for work anyway
Lily: So we met and we talked
JJ: AND?
Pike: AND?
Drapeau: AND?
Comeau: AND?
Lily: Remember you owe me your next victories
Drapeau: YES 🍾🍾🍾
PIKE: FUCKING FINALLY 😭 I COULDN'T STAND SAD PUPPY SHANE ANYMORE
Comeau: WE'RE GETTING THAT CUP BOYS
JJ: THANK YOU FOR TAKING ONE FOR THE TEAM LILY
Lily: The pleasure was all mine 😉
Lily: But I told you to lower your expectations for the cup. It's Boston this year
Pike: I'd boo you but I'm too happy right now so I'll let it slide 😭
●○●○●
Comeau: SEVEN WINS IN A ROW
Drapeau: THREE HAT TRICKS FOR HOLLZY
JJ: LILY I'M GOING TO NEED YOU TO GIVE THAT MAN THE BEST BLOWJOB OF HIS LIFE NEXT TIME YOU SEE HIM
Pike: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
Lily: Was already planning on it
Lily: But you really need better hobbies rather than worrying about Shane getting blowjobs
●○●○●
Drapeau: Your man Lily 😭
Comeau: That goal was so beautiful I almost cried 😭
JJ: I'm getting dozens of roses delivered to your place if you give me your address
Lily: Not a chance
Lily: There is something you could do for me instead
Pike: 🫡
JJ: 🫡
Comeau: 🫡
Drapeau: Anything for the girl who is keeping our captain happy
Lily: Next time you are in Boston, cover for him
Lily: I want him to sleep over but he said no because of the curfew
Comeau: Yeah coach has been a bitch about it lately
Drapeau: But we'll figure out something, don't worry about it
JJ: Just make sure Hollzy has a good night so he plays well 😉
Pike: Jesus
Lily: Have I EVER left him unsatisfied?
●○●○●
Pike: I have a question for you Lily
JJ: 👀
Drapeau: 👀
Comeau: 👀
Lily: I'm not telling you which positions we fuck in you freaks!
Drapeau: Damn
Comeau: Straight for the jugular
Pike: Fucking christ
Pike: IT'S NOT ABOUT SEX
Pike: I was just wondering
Pike: You and Shane have been a thing for so long and it's clearly more than just sex, you have feelings for each other
Pike: So why not make it official?
Pike: My wife and the other WAGS are dying to know more about you
Pike: Is it about the distance? I mean, with you living in Boston and Shane in Montreal
Pike: Or you're like married or something? Your husband is a mob boss?
Lily: I'm not married
Lily: But it's complicated
Lily: A lot
Lily: Who knows? Maybe someday
Lily: I'd be curious to meet that poor girl who is stuck with you
Pike: 💀
JJ: 😂
Drapeau: 😂
Comeau: 😂
●○●○●
Drapeau: Trouble in paradise? Hollzy won't stop looking at his phone but he's not smiling ☹️
Comeau: Bad fuck yesterday? We lost and now he's sulking
Pike: For fuck sake
Pike: One day I will permanently ban you from this groupchat and you will have no one to blame but yourself
JJ: Nah
JJ: I saw him when he came back and he definitely had the post-Lily glow so the sex was good
JJ: Was just a bad game
Drapeau: Fucking Rozanov scored a hat trick so maybe that ruined his mood?
Comeau: Lily, how much to get on the first plane to Montreal and cheer him up a little?
Comeau: C'mon
Comeau: I will actually buy you a plane ticket if it can save us from Hollzy looking like that
Pike: Lily?
Drapeau: We can kick Comeau out of the chat if he crossed a line earlier
Comeau: Hey!
JJ: That's not like her
JJ: Usually she answers within minutes
Pike: Are you alright?
Drapeau: Shit
Drapeau: If something happened to her that would explain Hollzy's mood
JJ: Fuck!
●○●○●
Lily: It's never a bad fuck with Shane
Pike: Lily!
Drapeau: SHE'S ALIVE
Comeau: 🙏🏻
JJ: What happened? It's been days
Lily: Personal situation
Lily: Not related to Shane
Lily: Don't want to talk about it
Lily: But it's okay now
Drapeau: Good because we are going to need you to use your superpower on Hollzy
Pike: Yeah we could use all the help we could get for the next game since we're playing against Boston
Comeau: So please, come to Montreal! He really needs your pussy right now
Pike has removed Comeau from the groupchat
Pike: And this time he stays in timeout
JJ: For real
JJ: Hollzy needs you Lily so please please please
JJ: Drive over here, take a plane, I'll fucking pay for it myself if that's a problem but we need our secret weapon
Drapeau: Please 🙏🏻
Lily: I was already coming to Montreal
JJ: FUCK YEAH
JJ: BOSTON CAN EAT SHIT WE HAVE LILY
Pike: First time in our beautiful province?
Drapeau: Gonna get Hollzy to give you a tour? Or you're not planning something else than his apartment? 😏
Pike: Don't make me put you in timeout too
Lily: I already saw Shane's apartment
Drapeau: YOU DID?
Pike: HE BROUGHT YOU OVER?
Lily: 😇
JJ: Bet you two christened the bedroom 😂
Lily; And the shower
Lily: The staircase
Lily: The couch
Lily: The kitchen table
Lily: The floor by the front door
JJ: FUCK HOLLZY
JJ: WHO KNEW SAINT HOLLANDER HAD IT IN HIM?
Pike: HOLY SHIT
Drapeau: At that rate it's a miracle we don't have a mini Hollander running around
Lily: It's not for the lack of trying on my side 😪
Drapeau: Wow 🤯
JJ: Fuck
Pike: I'm sorry
Pike: We didn't know
Lily: Just kidding 😘
Lily: Maybe in a few years but we're still too young and pretty to settle down
Lily: Of course you wouldn't know what it’s like Pike
Pike: 🖕🏻
Drapeau: 😂
JJ: There she is guys
●○●○●
Pike: Lily
Pike: I know you have probably seen it already but Shane got hurt tonight
Pike: They say it's not THAT bad
Pike: A concussion for sure
Pike: They aren't done examining him yet
Pike: I figured you would wanna know
Lily: Thank you
Lily: For telling me and for the update
Lily: Tell me if you have any more news okay?
Pike: Of course
●○●○●
Drapeau: You visited Hollzy at the hospital?
Lily: Yeah before my flight back to Boston
Lily: How did you know?
Comeau: 😏
Drapeau: 😏
JJ: 😏
Lily: How did you know? Last chance to answer before I send this whole chat to Shane and you deal with the consequences
Pike: Don't threaten me. I don't even know what the fuck they're talking about
JJ: We just visited our dear captain 😏
Drapeau: And he was VERY talkative
Comeau: He couldn't stop talking about how Lily visited him and how pissed he was at Marleau for ruining the plans you two had for after the game
Drapeau: He said he had a big question to ask you
Pike: Guys
Pike: Don't
JJ: Calm your pussy Pike, we're not proposing to Lily on behalf of Hollzy
JJ: He wanted to invite her to his cottage 😁
Drapeau: A romantic getaway just the two of them 😏
Comeau: And he said he asked you when you visited him and you said maybe
Comeau: MAYBE
Comeau: Why isn't our boy good enough for you anymore?😭
Drapeau: He almost started crying when he told us 😪
JJ: He's concussed, Lily
JJ: You need to be nice with him
Lily: I said maybe
Lily: I didn't say no
Comeau: Then say yes
Drapeau: We never know
Drapeau: What if he has something for you there?
Drapeau: Something like 💍
Drapeau: Like what if he officially makes you a WAG and all?
Lily: 🤨
Lily: Do you know something?
JJ: No but he doesn't even invite US to his cottage but he wants you there
JJ: Say yes
Comeau: PLEASE 🙏🏻
Comeau: We'll never ask for anything else again
Lily: Until he has one bad game next season and you beg me to come to Montreal to fix him
Lily: I'll think about it
Lily: I still have some shit to figure out
Pike: Take the time you need
Pike: For what it's worth, I really think you should go
●○●○●
Pike: Lily
Lily: Yes?
Lily: What?😇
JJ: What happened?
Pike: Are you at the cottage by any chance?
Drapeau: Holy shit
Lily: Why do you ask?
Comeau: Pike
Comeau: Speak
Comeau: Now
Pike: I just called Shane and he sounded busy
JJ: Busy how?
Pike: Busy like he was getting the best blowjob of his life
Comeau: LILY
Drapeau: OMG
Lily: 😇
JJ: AND HE DIDN'T HANG UP??? YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST
JJ: SAINT HOLLANDER HAS AN EXHIBITIONISM KINK
Lily: Not the only kink he has
Pike: SORRY?
Lily: Gotta go
Lily: I convinced him to fuck by the firepit
Lily: HAVE A GOOD SUMMER
Drapeau: Fuck
Comeau: At least our captain is getting some
●○●○●
Drapeau: Lily
Lily: I hate when you start conversations like that
Comeau: We just had a talk with Hollzy
Comeau: A very
Comeau: Interesting one
JJ: Your name is not Lily, is it?
Lily: No
Pike: And you're not a girl either, are ypu?
Lily: I'm not
Lily: So now that you know you also know I'm going to fucking kick your ass if you reacted badly to Shane
JJ: You don't have to worry about that
JJ: Hollzy is like our brother
Drapeau: Gay, straight, whatever
Drapeau: It doesn't matter as long as he keeps scoring goals
Pike: He's my best friend, nothing's going to change that ever
Comeau: I'm glad
Lily: Glad?
Drapeau: Glad?
Comeau: Now I know I haven't been saying all this dirty stuff to a chick
Comeau: I feel like a gentleman now
Pike: Whatever helps you sleep at night I guess
JJ: So now that we know you're a dude, does that mean we can finally meet you?
JJ: Or can you at least tell us your real name so you're not Lily in our phones forever?
Lily: Not yet
Lily: Someday though
Lily: It's no longer a maybe
Lily: And I like being Lily so leave it like that
Drapeau: As long as you're both happy
Comeau: I have a question
Pike: I hate where this is going…
Comeau: Who's the girl?
Pike has removed Comeau from the groupchat
Pike: SOME PEACE AT LEAST
●○●○●
Pike: Sooooo
JJ: This happened
Drapeau: Yeah
Drapeau: It did
Lily: Yes
Comeau: Lily, Ilya
Comeau: I guess that makes sense
Comeau: It's never going to stop being weird though
JJ: At least you finally got your answer
Comeau: ???
Drapeau: “Lily” does not wear Rozanov's jersey in bed
JJ: But he probably wears Hollzy's
Lily: I did that once only
Pike: I DID NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT
Lily: THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR SENDING THAT VIDEO WITHOUT CHECKING IT
Pike: I SAID I WAS SORRY
●○●○●
Lily: You leave me no choice guys
JJ: IT WAS COMEAU WHO PUKED IN THE POOL
Drapeau: WE ALL SAW IT WAS HIM
Comeau: YOU FUCKING LIARS IT WAS YOU TWO
Lily: It doesn't matter anymore
Lily: We had to empty it entirely and we lost half a day doing so
Pike: Why am I catching strays? I wasn't even there!
Lily: You outed us, remember?
Lily has added Shane to the groupchat
Shane: What the fuck is this?
Lily: A late wedding gift, lyubov moya 😊 I'm going to walk Anya but the guys are very excited to see your reaction
Lily: Love you 😘
Shane: What the fuck? How long have you been talking for?
Pike: Shane
Comeau: Buddy
Shane: YOU WENT THROUGH MY PHONE TO GET HIS NUMBER?
Drapeau: Here we go…