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Shadow prayed he wasn’t too late. Chaos take it all, why had G.U.N. waited so long to inform him? Shadow ran, pushing himself to his limits as he blazed through valleys and over hills, running towards where Sonic and the others were facing Robotnik.
Shadow had been off on a mission, sent to infiltrate an abandoned, booby-trapped base of the doctor’s across the country when Sonic and his friends had gone to battle with the mad genius. And for some reason, G.U.N. hadn’t informed him that the battle was taking place until after he had returned. Even further, they had admitted to losing contact with the mobians group several hours ago.
Hours. It was night now, making the run a little trickier as he shot through the countryside in the dark. It was a good thing he had excellent night vision, or he’d have run face-first into a tree by now.
Shadow cursed the organization out internally as he ran, saving his breath for running. How he wished he had a chaos emerald on him- he could teleport there in a heartbeat! But that was why Sonic had gone after the man- Robotnik had began gathering all the emeralds he could find, signaling that he was up to something dastardly.
Even Rouge had dropped out of contact. Shadow was trying to push away the worry that twisted in his chest, knowing that letting emotions overwhelm him could be critical in a fight. He had to stay focused, had to prepare for anything he might find. He could worry about dealing with G.U.N. and their lack of care later, once he made sure everyone was fine.
Chaos, let them all be fine.
Shadow didn’t know what the turning point between him and Sonic and his friends was, but nowadays, they weren’t just Sonic’s friends. They were also Shadow’s. He cared, more than he ever had wanted to, but chaos, he cared.
That care was responsible for the fear now flooding him, urging him to move even faster. Because they had been unresponsive for hours. Shadow just hoped that Eggman had blocked their communication system or something along those lines. He had done it before, it was in the realm of possibility.
Shadow blew through the last stretch of trees, and found himself on the battlefield.
It was quiet. Much, much too quiet.
The grassy clearing was littered with destroyed badniks. Shards of metal were flung haphazardly all over the place, dented from the blows that had taken them down. Oil was splattered everywhere, pools of it on the grass that hadn’t soaked in yet. Shadow looked around, coiled tight as a spring, searching for any sign of movement- whether that be enemies or his friends.
The robots layered the ground, piles upon piles in places. So layered, in fact, that in some areas Shadow couldn’t even see the grass. It was achingly silent as well, only the wind whistling through the forest surrounding the area ringing in his ears.
It must have been a literal army. Shadow realized as he walked over metal, his shoes having a hard time getting traction on the oil-slicked steel. He froze in one spot, eyeing a robot that wasn’t just splattered with oil- but also blood. The scent of blood filled the air right here, but not much of a trace remained. It made sense, blood soaked into the dirt easier than oil did. But the worry Shadow was trying so hard to control only dug its claws in deeper.
Across from him stood a warehouse, reaching far up into the sky, taller than the trees. How subtle. Shadow thought, snorting. He changed direction, hoping that the mobians he searched for were inside- maybe looking around, or hunting Eggman? The huge door was open a crack, not quite large enough for a mobian to slip inside. He crunched metal under his shoes as he went, the squeal of his airshoes upon metal badniks grating on his ears. He ignored the sound the best he could, focusing on his steps to avoid tripping in the mess. The pile of ruined bots lay deepest around the warehouse, as if they had been guarding it when they fell. Which made sense, but it also made a mess for Shadow to wade through. Finally he reached the door, kicking an egg pawn away with a hiss of frustration. He set his hand on the door to shove it open further, then flinched when something stabbed his palm.
Snarling, he yanked his hand away, glaring at the offending object lodged in his palm. It appeared to be some sort of needle, likely on some sort of spring-released trap for anyone who touched the door. Shadow yanked it out and tossed it to the side with a sneer. How pitiful. Like a mere needle would stop him. He flexed his hand, a trickle of blood running down it for the briefest second before his healing ability sealed the wound.
Eyeing the door again, this time he set his foot in the gap and kicked, sending the door sliding open a few more feet. Enough that he could actually get inside now. He moved to walk in when a wave of dizziness came over him, making him stumble briefly as the world spun around him.
Shadow caught himself against the wall, shaking his head to clear it. What was that all about? Most likely it was exhaustion- he’d been gone on his mission for a week and a half with little sleep directly before coming here. He probably just needed to rest. Which he could do after he located the others.
His heart pounding at an unnatural pace in his chest, and his lungs ached. Shadow ignored the sensations, instead stalking into the dark building, flexing his hands. His vision briefly whited out before he shook his head again with a curse.
Not now. I’ll rest later. Stubbornly, he pushed himself on. His shoes clicked on the tiled floor of the warehouse, the large room… empty?
Shadow looked around with confusion. Yes, it was competently empty. Had Robotnik taken his plans and run? Maybe that was why there was no sign of anyone. The other mobians had likely gone to pursue him in that scenario.
Shadow’s worry calmed some at the thought. That explanation made a lot of sense. If they were pursing him, of course they weren’t checking their communicators. Though G.U.N. was still stupid as chaos for not checking in on them. He made his way across the building, deciding he would check the entire place thoroughly to make sure he didn’t miss anything before he went out and looked for their trail.
There was a door across the room, so Shadow made his way to that. His exhaustion was making itself known again- heart beating even faster, his head fuzzy around the edges. His eyes burned for some reason, and his hands shook lightly. Oh well, he could deal with it.
When he touched the handle of the door, a horrible feeling slammed into him with such force that his stomach twisted with nausea. Shadow frowned, then pulled the door open, taking one step before freezing in place.
The scent of blood slammed into him so strongly that he gagged, unable to help himself. It was mixed with a scent that Shadow didn’t know- something chemical and foreign, making his lungs burn. Blinking rapidly, he tried to get his eyes to adjust to the dark- but for some reason, only blurry shapes filled his line of sight. Shadow groped desperately along the wall for a light switch, his hands shaking now. Fear and panic flooded him so strongly that another dose of adrenaline hit his system, furthering the shake. His heart beat so loudly he could practically feel it, and it consumed his hearing.
His fingers hit the light switch, and he flipped it on.
A strangled, terrified gasp escaped him, the sight of the room stealing every bit of air from his lungs. Shadow stood, frozen in the doorway, eyes wide with pain and horror as he looked.
Because all around the room were the bodies of his friends.
“No.” Shadow choked out, stumbling forward, refusing to believe. “No, no-”
The closest was Knuckles. The echidna’s face was torn, blood slowly dripping onto the floor. Only one purple eye was intact, and it stared lifelessly at the ceiling. The wound that killed him was clear- his throat was torn, a literal pool of blood surrounding him.
Tails lay nearby, head at an odd angle, neck clearly broken. His body was littered with small cuts and scrapes, his tails soaked with Knuckles’ blood. A bone jutted out of his broken arm, unnatural and gleaming in the light of the room.
Shadow hyperventilated, body shaking so hard his teeth chattered. Because Knuckles and Tails weren’t the only ones in the room.
Rouge, her wings torn and broken, body crumpled, lay across the room. Terror still remained in her expression, even in death, though the bloody wound in her abdomen barely bled anymore, the pool she lay in showing where it had all gone.
Shadow keened, the sound tearing from his throat unconsciously, his legs giving out from under him as he collapsed to his knees. His best friend, his sister- “No- NO!”
He had been too slow, too late!!
Shadow closed his eyes, but the images remained, seared forever into his brain. Knuckles, Tails, Amy- Rouge!
Peeling them open again, he looked around desperate to know if anyone still lived, if he could save someone.
Please, please, please. He begged silently, hot tears pouring down his face. His chest ached with the sobs he kept inside, shock making his ears ring.
The bodies were everywhere.
Amy.
Silver.
Blaze.
Shadow’s eyes landed on blue quills and fur, and the scream that had been building in his chest ripped free.
Sonic; ghostly pale, legs twisted and broken, chest caved in an unmistakable way, death stealing the light from his face and person. Sonic, who was never still, who had, just before Shadow had left, challenged Shadow to a race upon Shadow’s return. Sonic, who was dead.
Shadow couldn’t be here. Sobs broke from him, burning his throat as tears stole his vision. Pain crashed over him with the force of a tidal wave because they were all gone. Stolen. Dead.
Shadow choked on a sob, fleeing from the base as fast as his shaky legs would carry him. Away from the broken bodies, the blood choking the air. Another scream escaped him, his grief overwhelming him to the point he couldn’t think straight. He dug his hands into his own quills, yanking until it hurt. Dropping his hands, he pressed his palms to his eyes, trying to, to- what? What was he doing?
Grief, pain, rage so strong he couldn’t breathe, all escaped in a howl.
Fresh air- he was outside, how had he gotten here?
Shadow collapsed to his knees with a cry of pain and grief, so loud he felt as though it would shake the world. His throat was aching with the sound that eventually twisted to a sob. Digging his hands into his quills, he yanked, relishing the pain. Broken noises escaped him as the pit of grief opened in his chest again, the images flashing behind his eyes.
Blood. So much blood. Broken, shattered bodies.
Rouge. Sonic. Omega. Silver. Tails. Amy-
“No, not again-” He was babbling, screaming. He couldn’t see through the tears in his eyes, because he had lost it all, again. He was alone, they were all gone. Shadow screamed until his voice cut off, claws piercing his arms as he hugged himself, hunching over. He had failed them, just as he had failed Maria. Blood trickled down his arms, the smell making him gag as he remembered-
No no no no no no
He had been too late.
And now they were all gone.
Hands grasped his own, a frantic, echoing voice. Shadow couldn’t make sense of the words, didn’t know what stranger had touched him. A stranger, because all of his friends were dead. Dead behind him in the abandoned building, their blood soaking into the floor.
Rouge’s voice pierced through the agony of grief and loss rippling through his being. “Hallucinatory-” That’s what the voice he was hearing now was- nothing more then a grief-stricken hallucination of his best friend. He had seen her mangled body, wings torn and eyes glazed. Her blood splashed around her, blood that would forever be on his hands.
Shadow’s sobs were heavier now, taking over his body, and he collapsed in on himself. He pulled a hand away and pounded the ground, the shattered metal under him, keening. He felt something crunch inside his hand, but he ignored it. Metal pierced through the glove, but why would that matter?
“Shadow, Shadow-!” The imaginary Rouge sounded frantic. “Listen to me, hon, we’re fine, we’re fine!” If only it were true. If only he had been faster, had be able to save her-
Hands on his shoulders, then someone wrapped their arms around him. He couldn’t muster the strength to push them off, whoever it was. He just broke down, leaning into them. Choked sobs and breathless tears soaked into the fur of whatever mobian sat with him. Through it all, they rubbed his back as he cried, making soothing noises. Had G.U.N. finally showed up? Too late, far too late, they were all too late-!
His eyes burned, his chest ached with the power in his grief. His chaos energy crackled in the air, causing the mobian with him to flinch, soothing ministrations pausing for a split second before it continued.
“Rouge- what’s happening?” Another achingly, painfully familiar voice. Would these voices now haunt him, as he had been too late to save them? This was Sonic’s voice, though different, not cocky at the moment.
“Drugs?- hallucinations.”
Shadow pulled away from the mobian touching him, trying to escape the voices he knew had to be in his head. His heart was broken and bleeding, and he cried his grief to the universe. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t see. He only made it a few steps before he fell again, hands and knees against the grass. He let himself collapsed, too tired to hold himself up as more sobs shook him. His forehead met the grass, arms over his head and neck as he screamed. The blood from his arms soaked into his fur and quills, oozing and making him gag again.
“Shadow.” A mobian’s presence, the voice that of the hedgehog who had always been his rival, his equal, his friend, his brother.
Shadow keened again at the sound, ears flat against his skull as he tried to ignore the ghost. His vision was too tear-filled to see anything anymore, not even the blurry shapes of the agents surrounding him.
“Shadow, we’re alive.” Sonic’s ghost whispered tauntingly. “We’re here, it’s all a lie.” The glassy eyes, broken legs, caved chest of Sonic’s body had begged to differ. Shadow choked on another sob, his breaths stuttering as he began to hyperventilate, unable to breathe through the sobs.
“Please.” The voice pleaded. “Listen, it is us.”
“It’s no use.” Silver’s voice joined the haunting. “-drugs in his system. He can’t differentiate between reality and illusion.”
Shadow couldn’t process anything the ghosts said- were they real? A figment of his imagination? Had he lost his mind?
Shadow bit his tongue, blood filling his mouth. The blood made him choke, his breathing already ragged from the force of the sobs wracking his body. Spitting the blood on the ground, he coughed so hard he felt as though he’d be sick.
“Shadow.” Sonic’s voice spoke again. Would these voices haunt him forever? A cruel reminder of everything he’d lost, the ones he had failed to protect? He supposed it was justice, in a way. He had failed, again. He now would pay penance, listen to the ghosts of his friends for the rest of his immortal life.
Curse his immortality. What he wouldn’t give to be able to join them, to be with those he had loved. Now he was alone. Again, alone.
Never to race Sonic through the landscape of Green Hill again.
Never have another shopping trip with Rouge.
Never listen to Tails monologue about an invention he was excited about.
Never spar with Knuckles, bake with Amy, play video games with Silver.
Shadow’s lungs tightened, his pain channeling physically. He couldn’t take another breath, couldn’t force himself to breathe as anguish rocked his world. Not his world. His world was gone, stolen away with the deaths of his friends.
Shadow had nothing.
Shadow was alone.
His lungs screamed for air, and he finally gasped, inhaling and coughing, salty tears hitting his tongue as he sucked in air. Chaos energy flashed around him, his emotions too frayed for him to even attempt to control his power. He moved his hands from his head to his arms, claws sinking into his own flesh as he gripped his arms too tightly, feeling blood roll down his fur.
Shadow felt his head spin, his body rebel, and he gagged, nausea twisting his stomach. He heaved from the force of his sobs and coughs, bile in his mouth.
He tried to push himself upright, but it was too much. Darkness overwhelmed him, his head spinning and dizzy, and he collapsed, sinking into unconsciousness with relief.
Shadow woke slowly.
At first, he only registered the physical sensations. His throat burned, raw and aching. All of his muscles ached like he had been using them for weeks straight, and his lungs revealed a stabbing pain when he breathed in. His moved his hand a little, feeling the telltale needle of an IV in his flesh. Trying to open his eyes felt impossible, they were gritty and swollen, stinging when he raised a hand to try to rub them. Bandages shifted around his arms… why? Beeping of machines filled his ears, the clinical smell of a sterile place in his noise. Exhaustion pulled at every part of him, urging him back into sleep. He pushed the feeling away, trying to kick start his fuzzy brain. What had happened? Why was he…
Agony and grief crashed down on him with the force of a waterfall as he remembered. It was a physical sensation, forcing him down into the bed he lay on, and it stole the air from his lungs. He gasped for it, breath hitching as a scream built inside him.
Gone? They were gone?
Where was he? Had G.U.N. picked him up?
“He’s awake!” A voice cried, but it was muffled, as if he heard it underwater.
Shadow raised his hands to rub at his eyes again, trying to force them open now. Leave me alone. He wanted to scream. Leave me alone! He couldn’t handle questions, G.U.N.’s need to know every detail, agents pestering him as he fell apart. Shadow was broken. He couldn’t think straight, memories assaulting him every time he tried.
Tearing his eyes open, bright light assailed him, making his aching head pound with an instant headache. A guttural cry escaped him, and he tried to curl up, rocking with the waves of grief.
“Shadow!” There was someone next to him, and he turned his head and snarled, hatred in his tone for whatever agent disturbed him. His vision was blurry as he tried to adjust, and his swollen eyes didn’t help things. All he saw was blue….
A stab of grief punctured his heart, the color filling his vision.
“Easy, Shadow, it’s me.” The blur said, is voice softening and comforting, familiar to Shadow’s ringing ears. Did he know this agent? He didn’t care. Why wouldn’t they just leave him alone?
Another, feminine voice joined this one, speaking softly, worriedly.
Shadow closed his eyes as his chest ached with sobs that wouldn’t break free. It felt as though they were trapped beneath his skin.
“Look at me.” The feminine voice coaxed. “Come on, Shadow, look.”
Shadow forced his eyes open again so that he could glare in her direction with all the fury he felt over being disturbed. He blinked a few times, desperate to clear his vision so he could know who to direct the fury at. Shaking his head seemed to help, so he did.
Finally, his vision cleared, and he could see. His head still pounded violently with the headache, and his eyes felt puffy, but he didn’t care. He looked to the side, looking for the woman who had disturbed him, baring his fangs in a warning snarl.
Shadow froze, so still he didn’t even breathe, when he met Rouge’s gaze. The bat’s eyes were wide and shiny, and she stood next to his bed, leaning over him. She opened her mouth, trembling slightly, but he spoke first.
“It can’t be.” Shadow whispered, voice hoarse. “You’re dead. I saw-” His voice choked and died before he could finish.
Rouge seemed to come to life then. “No, Shadow, no.” She shook her head, desperation and grief in her gaze. “I’m not, it was all a trick.”
“You’re dead.” Shadow insisted, breaths stuttering in panic. Had he gone insane? Was he creating ghosts because of what he’d seen? He had truly lost in now.
“Shads…” Another, achingly familiar voice added softly. “She’s right, we’re okay.”
Shadow whipped his head to the other side of the bed, gasping loudly when he found that the blue-colored person sitting there was none other than Sonic.
“You’re dead, you’re both dead, everyone is gone!” The words were practically shrieked as Shadow tried to understand, tried to process.
“If I was dead, could I do this?” Sonic’s voice was full of desperation. Rouge’s ghost made a noise of protest but the Sonic-phantom reached out regardless.
Shadow knew he’d feel nothing, even if his brain could conjure up sounds and sights, it couldn’t give physical sensations.
To his utter shock and confusion, however, Sonic’s hand grabbed his own. and Shadow felt it. Felt his fingers, his palm. Shadow’s hands were bare, so he could feel the silky texture of Sonic’s gloves on his skin. Shadow was frozen for a moment, staring at where Sonic’s hand was in his own, because… was it possible? Could it be?
Shadow moved his hand, squeezing Sonic’s desperately, like he could figure out the hedgehog’s realness by just that action. Could hallucinations be tangible?
“I saw… your body.” Shadow whispered, but he could hear the uncertainty in his own words. “You died.” All the pain from the memory of Sonic mangled form filled those two words, his voice breaking on a choked-off sob.
“It was all a trick, Shadow.” Sonic’s (ghost?) whispered back, leaning forward to try to catch Shadow’s gaze. “Eggman tricked you. I’m alive.” Sonic pulled Shadow’s hand towards him, achingly slowly, like Shadow would bite him or something. Shifting his grip so that Shadow’s hand lay under his, he pressed Shadow’s hand against his chest, holding it there tightly.
Shadow went still when he felt it- a heartbeat. Thrumming steadily, right underneath his palm. He tilted his head, staring at where his hand rested. Could it be? Could it have all been a trick?
“S-Sonic?” Shadow looked up, pure desperation in his tone. “You’re real? You’re alive?” He wanted to hear the words again, even as he felt the heartbeat kick up a notch, Sonic reacting to Shadow’s words.
“Yeah, Shads.” Sonic said, looking and sounding close to tears. “I’m alive. We’re all alive.”
With a sob so loud and harsh it felt like it tore his throat, Shadow moved, flinging himself out of the bed and at Sonic. Sonic didn’t flinch, just opened his arms and caught him, rocking him as Shadow sobbed.
“You’re alive, you’re alive.” Shadow chanted to himself around the sobs, burying his face in Sonic’s shoulder, tears pouring down his face and soaking into blue fur. Sonic held him tightly, his own shuddering sobs shaking the both of them.
Shadow didn’t know how long he clung to him, didn’t know how long they sat there, crying and hugging each other. He just knew that his brother lived, was sitting here, hugging him. Shadow hadn’t lost him.
If Sonic was real, then that meant…
Shadow pulled his head up so quickly it surprised both himself and Sonic. Looking back to the other side of the bed, he met Rouge’s eyes. The bat was also crying, silent tears streaming down her face as she watched them. Shadow pulled away from Sonic unsteadily, the blue hedgehog supporting him carefully. When he tried to move around the bed towards her, the IV in his hand tugged painfully. With a growl of irritation, he yanked it out and tossed it away, eyes still on the bat. His best friend. His sister.
Rouge started crying harder, and he flung himself at her, stumbling on shaky legs. He was crying so hard he couldn’t breathe anymore, but he didn’t care. Didn’t care, because they were alive. They were alive, and right here with him.
Rouge wrapped her arms around him, holding him to her as desperately as he clung to her. She rocked him, her broken voice whispering sweet nothings and soothing words, tears thickening the sound. Shadow shuddered, whispering, “Rouge.” Because she was okay. She wasn’t dead, she wasn’t gone.
The exertion was too much, and his legs collapsed from underneath him. Shadow went down, letting go of Rouge so as to not drag her down as well. She tried to hold him up, but he sagged limply in her grasp, head spinning. Sonic was there suddenly, helping pull Shadow up. Between the two of them, they got him back on the bed, where he stared between them both, trying to comprehend the fact that, yes, they were alive. His shattered mind struggled to heal itself, piece back together with the revelation. At least the sobs had stopped, too tiring for his body to sustain any longer.
“You need that IV back in.” Rouge murmured. “I’ll-” She took a step, and Shadow whined.
How pathetic. But he couldn’t help the instinctive sound as terror gripped him so strongly that he flinched, hands clenched and shaking.
Her wide eyes swung back to him, and she moved closer. “Alright hon, I won’t leave. I’m right here.” She stepped over by the bed, hitting a button to summon a nurse. Deciding that the distance was still too much, even standing right next to the bed, she crawled onto the bed with him, pulling him against her as he shook. Sonic sat perched on the end of the bed, hand on Shadow’s ankles as a point of contact. Shadow leaned his head on Rouge’s shoulder, feeling tiredness and weakness pulse through his body.
“Why do I feel…” He struggled to speak with how rough his voice was, struggled to explain. “So… so…”
Rouge let her hand smooth his quills down, her fingers gently combing through them. “Eggman drugged you, hon. Some sort of experimental hallucination drug. It was meant to make your worst fear a reality.” Her voice was low, gentle as she explained. “It wrecked hell on you.” Her voice darkened, before she took a deep breath, shifting Shadow a little at the movement.
“And you carved up your own arms and lost a ton of blood.” Sonic added, voice lacking any emotion. His hand gripped Shadow’s ankles then, but Shadow could tell the hedgehog was shaking a little. “We thought you’d bleed out before we could get you here.”
“G.U.N. hospital.” Rouge answered his silent question of where 'here' was, her fingers still carding through his quills.
Shadow hummed a little, exhausted to the point that he couldn’t think straight. But there was one more thing he needed to know. “-the others?”
“All fine.” Rouge assured, arms tightening. “Waiting outside. The doctors said it’d be too overwhelming for you if we were all here when you woke up.”
“You can see them after you rest a little more, alright?” Sonic coaxed. “You need to sleep some of this off.” His thumb rubbed circles into Shadow’s ankle, a surprisingly soothing action. “The nurse will be in soon to reattach the IV. Sleep, Shadow.”
“Don’t go.” Shadow said pleadingly, even as his eyelids slid closed against his will, his body shutting down.
“We won’t.” They both promised at the same time.
“We’re not going anywhere, Shads.” Sonic added, voice determined.
Shadow tilted his head a little so that he could hide his face in Rouge’s neck and shoulder, then let the darkness tug him away, the feeling so much warmer and relaxing this time. Rouge’s fingers in his quills helped him along, and he soon fell asleep.
It took Shadow a long time to recover from the incident.
Nightmares plagued him, and side effects from the drugs hit him at random times. Times when his chaos energy would spark out, his teleporting malfunctioning, and his muscles weakening. Frustrating, but a blessing compared to what he’d thought the outcome was.
When Shadow had woken for the second time in the hospital, he had woke feeling much more energized and put together. So much so, in fact, that the doctors had cleared it for the rest of his friends to be allowed in the room. Shadow had cried again, embarrassingly, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care overly about it. He’d thought he’d lost them all. Upon the sight of his friends, his family standing there, he couldn’t be ashamed of the tears that had flowed. Tails had immediately hopped up on the bed, curling up in Shadow’s arms, where he remained for the entirety of the visit- even when Shadow was hugging the others. Silver and Blaze, Amy and Knuckles, Omega, all of them surrounded him, assuring him that they were all fine. And, of course, Sonic and Rouge. The two of them had remained with him through every step in the hospital, never leaving him alone, even for a moment. Shadow had wanted to leave as soon as possible, but because the drug the psychopath of a doctor had used was new and experimental, G.U.N. had wanted to be thorough and careful.
Once everyone had gotten together, they had explained what had happened in more detail to Shadow. It turned out that he had been right with his first guess- they had been hunting Robotnik. Or chasing, more accurately. It seemed that none of them had even gone inside the base- Eggman had lured them away, leaving the trap still set for an unsuspecting Shadow. The trap had likely been for one of the others, but they had instead all followed when the doctor had retreated, leaving Shadow the horribly unlucky recipient.
Based on what the G.U.N. scientists had discovered about the drug, both from Shadow and from a small sample the mobians had recovered at the base before Shadow had gotten drugged, it had been somehow tweaked with chaos energy. Likely the reason the madman had been gathering chaos emeralds.
It caused hallucinatory sensations and visions (the blood smell had been all in his head), playing off of his worst fears, and the thing he had already been worried about when he walked into the base. It was meant to crippling the target, lock them in visions of terror and break their mind.
Shadow had been broken, or nearly so. Even after he’d been sedated, kept asleep until the drug ran it’s course, he had come close to dying. In the throes of the drug, he had clawed his arms so severely that he’d almost bled out, adding even more stress on his body. Thus, Sonic’s and Rouge’s emotional reactions once he’d woken up. In the whole twisted situation, he had been the only one near death. And wasn’t that ironic?
That in his fear over his friend’s deaths, he had almost died himself? He tried not to dwell on it.
Once he’d been released from the hospital, then the real fun started. Nightmares he woke up screaming from, full of blood and broken bodies. Because although they hadn’t been really, he had still seen them.
Crippling panic attacks when he was left alone, spiraling with the fear of losing someone once they were out of his sight.
Not to mention the side effects of the drug. The lose of control of his chaos energy, the mental fog, the chronic exhaustion.
Shadow knew Rouge wanted to kill Robotnik for this. He couldn’t blame her- he had many violent fantasies about the idea himself.
But even through all of the pain and difficulty, and the recovery longer than any of them had realized it would be…
His friends were there for him. Rouge had taken weeks off of work, just so he wouldn’t be alone in the house. Sonic was around almost every day as well. Tails would show up, hauling his inventions in with a winning smile towards Rouge, who would shake her head but not protest. Amy bringing baked goods and snacks. Blaze with books and music suggestions, things to help calm and distract him. Omega hovered like a giant metal bodyguard, hardly ever letting Shadow out of his sight. He made Shadow very bad hot chocolate at night when Shadow woke from his nightmares. (At least, if Rouge didn’t get to it first with a desperation to keep their kitchen from smelling like scorched milk) Knuckles and Silver would game with him at any hour of the day, bringing suggestions for movie nights whenever the entire gang would have sleepovers. Said sleepovers happened often, nearly every weekend.
Even when they got into the second month of nightmares and irrational paranoia/panic, his friends never wavered. They were there, supporting him however they could, diligent and kind, never smothering him or pushing him too far.
Shadow was more grateful for them than he could ever say, and tried to express that more. He had realized, in his fear of losing them, that they might never know how much he truly cared for them. The horrible experience had given him perspective, in a way. To love fiercely and freely, while those you loved were with you. And to never take those who loved you and who you loved for granted.
Shadow had found his family. And he wasn’t going to hide his care and love for them anymore. He wanted to live, to love while he still had the time to do it.
So, he would.