Chapter Text
The first thing Dess learns as she wakes up is that she is on the floor.
Not why she is on the floor. Not how long she has been on the floor. Just...
Floor acquired.
Her last memory flickers in the corner of her mind. She had been up late, searching on the internet for how to hide these darned bite marks on her neck.
She sits up and she notices her mouth feels wrong. It felt... cramped. Like her teeth had pushed into each other and wouldn't make room.
Her tongue runs across them and finds the problem. Two of them are longer... And sharper.
That's new...
She tests one.
"Ow!" Dess yells. "What the-" And now her tongue was bleeding. "Dang it." She mumbles.
She stands up, ready to go to her nice comfy bed and figure things out tomorrow.
The room looms in around her as she grabs her head. It was hard to focus. Just... One thing at a time... She could do this.
Desk. Chair. Guitar. Her favorite hoodie, someone standing in front of her bed.
Wait, what? Who was this?
Why were they in her room?!
They were pale in the way chalk is pale. In the way moonlight is pale. So pale they looked as though they have lived their entire life in some kind of... underground
Their cheeks are bright red with too much blush. Way too much blush. What, did they use a whole container of the stuff? Their face looked practically doll-like.
Their eyes... Creepy in a way she couldn't quite place.
They were wearing a sweater that looked exactly like the same one of dozens that Azzy owns. Dess wondered if the intruder had stolen one like she had.
But the creepiest thing of all... They were smiling.
"Greetings." They break the silence. Their voice was clean and formal, like a textbox placing itself neatly in front of her. "I, am-"
Wait a minute! She recognized that prim and proper, yet totally creepy, voice.
"You’re the weirdo that bit me! From the concert! What are you doing in my room!?" She accused.
They look at her.
Not angry.
Not ashamed.
Just… unimpressed.
"As I was saying." They continue. "I, am-"
"Get the hell out of my room!"
"You must have misunderstood."
The words land with a sudden weight. They didn't look it, their face retained the same creepy smile they had been wearing since they got here...
But Dess had definitely said something wrong. The very air seemed to thin.
"You think you are above consequences." They say.
"…what?" Dess says in a haze.
"Now." A small breath to calm themselves. "Greetings. My name is-"
Oh for-
"I don't care who you are! Why’d you bite me?!"
A pause.
They close their eyes.
"..."
A sigh, so light it barely registers on her ears.
"I suppose my name isn’t relevant anyway. What is relevant is that, yes, I bit you."
"Am I gonna have to ask you a third time... Why?"
"I bit you because I thought you were a human."
Dess awaited further explanation...
But none came.
"…and that would have made it okay?" She asked for clarity.
"Yes. Well... No." They allowed. "Not exactly for you, but for me it would have certainly been preferable."
"What? You got something against monsters?"
Their eyes snap wide open.
"What? No, of course not I-"
"That’s kinda messed up."
"No, you’re not understanding. I needed you to be human so I could-"
"That’s some really backwards thinking you have. Monsters are just as kind as humans, maybe even more!"
"If you were human I would have made a meal out of you!" They blurted out.
"So you’re some kind of cannibal? Oh yeah, that’s so much better."
They pinch the bridge of their nose. And took a deep breath.
"Look." They say. "I am a vampire. I drink human blood. I thought you were human, so I bit you. That's all."
...
"Did you not notice the fur?" Dess asked flatly.
"I was hungry, it was dark, and you were wearing a hoodie."
"So what? You bite everyone you can’t make out and just… what, hope?"
"I will admit that’s not my normal approach, but again, I was very hungry and all I saw was a face. I'm still hungry..." They mumbled away as their eyes fell into a blank stare.
"Here at the absolute..."
A beat. And they snapped themselves back to attention.
"None of that matters now anyway." They asserted as they straighten themselves and smooth down their sweater. "What does matter is when a monster gets bitten by a vampire, the venom lies dormant in your system..."
"Okay... so I have venom. But that doesn't explain-"
"Then it kills you and turns you into a vampire."
...
"I died?!" Dess yelled.
"Yes."
"And I’m a vampire now?!"
"Yes."
Dess was trembling trying to take it all in but the vampire looked relieved. The conversation was finally going where they wanted.
"And I am here to teach you. I feel as though I am partially responsible for this, so I have made the decision to become your teacher to make amends."
"…partially responsible?" She grumbled.
"Okay, fully responsible." They correct. "Happy?"
"I died so... No?"
"You are wracked with a perverted sentimentality."
"For dying!?" She asked incredulously.
They ignore her and produce a clipboard from... Nowhere? No way their pockets were that big.
"Let us begin. Rule one. You need blood. Rule two. Human blood specifically. Rule three. Any blood type will work, no need to worry about donor matches. Rule four-"
"Umm." Dess says, raising her hand like she’s in class. "How many rules are there?"
They look at the page. Flip it. Flip it again.
"Nine hundred and ninety-nine." They say calmly. "So do be sure to pay attention."
Dess stares at them. At their clipboard.
At the fact that she died... and has homework about it.
"This is so not fair." She whispered.
"There are no need for theatrics. I will guide you through this world."
"Yeah, and how do you plan on doing that?"
"At first, I was so confused." They began, voice slipping into a strange, echoing register. "Our plan had failed, hadn’t it?"
"We already established you're blind as a bat and bit the wrong person, yes." She said pinching her brow. "Now what are you gonna do about it? What's your plan to help me?"
"You. With your guidance, I realized the purpose of my reincarnation."
Oh for goodness sakes, were they stuck in a monologue?
"I did not guide you! Again, you, went up to a total stranger, and decided to bite her! Stop victim blaming, it's so not cool!"
"We'll be together forever won't we?"
"Okay, no." Dess says, pointing at them. "You are not allowed to say ‘together’ like that in my room ever again."
They make a note on the clipboard.
"I will be sure to use a less endearing tone when discussing our eternal partnership."
"We are not-"
"You are a great partner. Now then." They say, flipping a few pages. "We will begin with feeding schedules."