Work Text:
Hayden Pike
It was Hayden Pike's thirtieth birthday and he was sweating buckets.
This wasn't just because he was now no longer in his twenties, or because it was the height of August - well, not just because of that - but because his birthday party was already a recipe for disaster and no one had even arrived yet.
He hadn't even wanted a party; he'd just wanted to relax with his family and maybe have a few beers with his friends.
Unfortunately this had been immediately overruled by J.J as 'tragic', who then took it upon himself to take control of the entire affair by organising an actual party with a ridiculous amount of guests.
This is where the problem lay: J.J had decided to invite both the Hollander-Rozanov family and the entire Metros team roster.
And, fine, technically Hayden had a duty, as captain of the Metros, to include all of his teammates in social events, but he'd hoped he could have a real party with a few select Metros and Shane, and then have a few beers with the whole team on another date.
He was now mostly okay with the majority of his team, especially as a few of the players who had been particularly vitriolic against Shane had left once Hayden had been promoted to captain and he'd been able to control certain locker room conversations.
Still. He wasn't exactly friends with most of them.
But J.J had made a good point that hopefully things would go a little better with the kids present, and that it would be good for the rookies to feel welcome. Hayden agreed with the latter especially, partly because it was part of his responsibilities as captain to help the rooks settle in, but mostly because they couldn't afford to lose any more half-decent players, lest their stock plumet any further.
Christ, being a Metro was beginning to become painful.
If it wasn't for the fact that it would uproot Jackie and the kids' entire lives, he would have asked for a trade to Ottawa the day that Shane had waived his no trade clause.
Well, that plus the fact that he wasn't sure he could put up with seeing Rozanov every single day.
Fuck that.
In his most private thoughts, Hayden could admit that maybe Rozanov had grown on him over the last few years - like a particularly stubborn, annoying rash.
He still got the urge to punch that smug face sometimes, but these occasions were becoming rarer and rarer.
Especially since Shane and Rozanov had adopted the kids two years ago, and Ilya had retired, allowing Shane to become Ottawa's captain and lead the team to yet another Stanley Cup. Hayden could respect anyone who sacrificed their career to become a stay-at-home parent; God knew what he'd do without Jackie.
Even J.J had improved his relationship with Shane and Ilya over the last few years. But they were the only two Metros who'd tried with Shane since he'd left. As far as he was aware, none of them had even spoken to Shane since he'd left - with the exception of Mitka, who'd texted Shane a few times to congratulate him on winning the Stanley.
But even Mitka had never reached out further than that. His hatred of Rozanov couldn't be shifted, apparently. That was the crux of the problem: the Metros were still working under their assumptions of who Ilya Rozanov was. Well, that and the fact that some of them were homophobic assholes.
Combine that with Rozanov's protectiveness of Shane and his Boston-borne hatred for the Metros, Hayden expected that neither side would be pulling any punches today.
He just hoped those punches would stay metaphorical.
Hayden sighed.
It was going to be a long day.
False Assumption 1:
Ilya Rozanov cheats on Shane Hollander.
Patrice Drapeau
When Jackie opened the door to Patrice and his wife, Kate, she smiled and immediately pulled Kate in for a warm hug. The two were good friends, constantly chatting in the Metro's WAG chat, and organising play dates for the kids.
"Hello! Come in, come in," Jackie said. "You guys are almost the first to arrive."
Patrice followed his wife into the hallway, a six pack of beer in his hands.
"Where's Jade and Ruby?" Olivia asked.
"They're upstairs in Jade's room, I think, sweetheart."
Their daughter turned to Kate with pleading eyes. "Mom, can I please go and play?"
"Yes. Take off your shoes first though!"
Olivia quickly kicked off her shoes and stomped upstairs.
They followed Jackie through the empty house, stepping through the backdoors and onto the decking where there were already a few people milling around with beers in hand.
He spotted Hayden firing up the grill already, and was about to head over to say hi to the birthday boy and give him their gift - not that Patrice even knew what it was, Kate had handled it for the both of them, thank fuck.
However, before moving any further, he needed to scan the garden for two people in particular.
When he realised Hollander and Rozanov weren't there yet, he let out a sigh of relief.
Thank fuck.
He was kind of hoping they wouldn't turn up at all - it was the decent thing for them to do, really. Anything else would just make things awkward, and bringing drama was just not necessary for a nice, chill birthday get together.
He'd explained this to Kate last night - that it was for Hayden's sake that he didn't want Hollander or Rozanov at the party - and they'd ended up arguing for over an hour.
Fucking Rozanov ruining his night without even being there.
Asshole.
Anyway, there was no sign of Hollander or Rozanov anywhere. There were a few people milling around - he assumed friends or family of Jackie's as the only people Patrice recognised were a few of this year's new rooks. He had to stifle a laugh at the picture of them all huddled awkwardly together. Of course they were all early, they were probably shitting themselves for their first team party. Bless.
Apart from that, him and Kate were the only ones that had arrived. He was praying that a few more Metros arrived before Hollander; he wanted a least enough buffers for him to avoid them both.
Thankfully, after only 20 minutes, the party began to fill up. Mitty and his wife, Lisa, Taylor and his wife, Sabrina, and - shocking everyone for actually being relatively on time - J.J and his girlfriend, Anika.
Unfortunately not long after that, he heard the recognisable sound of his former captain's voice. He turned to see Hollander step through the glass doors.
He was immediately engulfed by J.J, who pulled him in a huge hug, clapping him on the back. "Hollzy, you made it!"
Hollander smiled. It was a little strained.
See, he wanted to say to Kate, it's awkward already!
"Hey, J.J." He turned to Hayden. "Happy birthday, Hayd!"
Then Rozanov stepped through the door, holding hands with his daughter and son. He'd seen enough on ESPN - though why a whole segment had been wasted on something so irrelevant to hockey, Pat would never understand - to know that two years ago they'd adopted two siblings, a girl, Katya, now age 5 and a boy, Milo, now age 3. Last year, they'd adopted another boy, Mikhail, who was bouncing on Rozanov's hip.
Pat exchanged a look with both Mitty and Taylor as Hollander and Rozanov headed towards them, were they were stood with Hayden.
Patrice's gut clenched in preparation for an all out war, his body automatically responding to Rozanov's presence as a threat. Probably his body remembered all the times Rozanov had shoved him into the boards. Prick.
Patrice nodded in greeting to Hollander. "Hey, man."
There, that was pretty polite. Take that Rozanov!
"Hello Pike, where are your children?" Rozanov butted in.
What a prick. Not even a happy birthday?
He felt Taylor tense next to him.
"Nice to see you too, Rozanov. Thanks so much for the birthday wishes." Hayden responded, but he was grinning slightly under the exasperated expression.
Weird.
"Fine, Pike. Happy birthday. Now where are your children?"
Hayden rolled his eyes. "Upstairs, making a blanket fort, apparently."
Katya jumped up and down. "Papa, can I go play?"
"Of course, Katya. Be good. No fighting."
Patrice almost scoffed at the audacity. Hearing Ilya Goddamn Rozanov say 'no fighting' was ridiculous.
Then Rozanov rearranged his son on his hip to crouch by Milo, who was now clutching Hollander's hand and half hiding behind his leg.
"Did you hear that, sweetheart? You want to go upstairs and play as well?"
The kid shook his head and burrowed closer to Hollander.
Bit of a pansy, then.
Well, it was to be expected with those kinds of parents.
"Okay, sweetheart. You can stay here and listen to the boring grown ups. We will probably talk about hockey. Very, very boring. Just like your Daddy. You want to be boring with Daddy?"
The kid giggled and shook his head.
"Aw," Anika cooed.
"No?" Rozanov acted offended. "You want to go make pillow fort instead?"
The kid shook his head again.
"What about you find Arthur and you two can finish your puzzle from last week, da?"
"Okay, papa."
"Good boy." Rozanov bent and kissed the top of his son's head, and the boy ran off into the house.
It was weird seeing Rozanov all domestic. Pat's brain couldn't compute that this was the same Rozanov who'd given him two black eyes. Or the Rozanov who was famous for having weekly gossip rag spreads on his latest flavour of the week, usually some semi-famous bikini model.
"No running indoors, Milo!" Hollander shouted after him.
Rozanov blew a raspberry at Hollander. "Fun police."
Hollander shot him a dry, unimpressed look and Rozanov shut up immediately.
God, this was so, so weird.
Taylor reached a hand out to Hollander. "Hey, man, long time no see."
"Hey, Taylor." Shane said, shaking his hand.
"Yeah, hey, Hollander. Nice to have you here." Mitty said, which was more than generous, in Patrice's opinion.
Neither of them even glanced in Rozanov's direction.
Clearly Hollander noticed, as his eyes flickered between Patrice and the others, his mouth pressed into a thin line that Patrice recognised as Hollander's I'm-pissed-but-I'm-not-saying-anything face.
Taylor then pulled Hayden into a rough, side-hug. "Well, Pikey, big three-oh, how we feelin'?"
"Yes," Rozanov drawled. Just the sound of his voice was enough to set Patrice's teeth on edge. "You are first to turn thirty, Pike. How do you feel?"
Hayden eyed him suspiciously. “Good, thanks.” He clearly didn’t want to say anything that could give Rozanov any chirping ammunition.
“Your back is okay? You need me to find walking stick for you?”
There it was. The fucker couldn’t be nice for five minutes, could he?
Prick.
“Funny.”
Jackie suddenly appeared behind Hayden. She was smiling widely as she took her place next to Hayden, slipping her arm round her husband. "Shane, Ilya, so glad you guys made it!"
With one arm, Rozanov pulled her out of Hayden's embrace and twirled her around. "Ah, I have missed you Jackie. You are looking very sexy today, well done."
Patrice's jaw dropped.
Oh, he wanted to punch this prick so badly.
Surely even Ilya Rozanov wasn't flirting with another man's wife in front of her husband and his own husband?
Fucking asshole.
Pat glanced at Kate, giving her his 'I told you so' look.
But Jackie just laughed. "Thank you, Ilya."
"You are very welcome. Is tragic for you now your husband is so old. Anyway, here is gift for old man. I wanted to give Viagra-"
"Oi!"
Jesus, this guy didn't know when to stop, did he?
"-But Shane said was 'inappropriate'," He made finger quotes with his fingers as he spoke and then shrugged, a shit-eating grin on his face. "Sorry, Jackie, I tried to help."
"Ilya!" Hollander hissed. "Talking about Viagra in front of our one year old? Also not appropriate."
"He is baby, he does not understand, Hollander. I told you, you are fun police." Rozanov stuck his tongue out at Hollander, who looked annoyed. How in the hell did this relationship survive day to day? Hollander was one of the most uptight, boring men Patrice had ever met, even when he was a rook. It just made no sense that he was with Rozanov. "Anyway, is fine. I am one of the girls, am I not, Jackie?"
Hollander rolled his eyes. "You are not."
"Yes I am. I am WAG now."
Kate let out a laugh, and Patrice had to hold back a look that screamed 'traitor'.
"Well, I never thought I'd have something in common with Ilya Rozanov."
"You're telling me!" Anika said.
Rozanov smiled. "Well, we are all very beautiful people, so we have always had that in common."
"Wow, you really do live up to your reputation." Sabrina laughed. She reached out a hand. "I'm Sabrina, Taylor's wife."
"I am Ilya, Shane's WAG-"
"Husband." Hollander corrected, but he had a smile on his face.
This was so weird.
Patrice was baffled.
Not only was this guy a fucking womanizing asshole and getting away with flirting with their wives and girlfriends in front of them, but he was shocked that Shane put up with it.
Still, it made sense in a way; Rozanov was practically more famous for his conquests with women than he was for hockey. There was no way that guy settled down, especially not with someone as boring and vanilla as Shane Hollander. He hadn't seen Hollander in years, but he remembered that Shane was as straight laced as they came, hated parties, and was a horrible flirt.
Rozanov clearly had no problems flirting with other people.
Him and Hollander must have an open marriage, and if not, he was sure Rozanov must cheat with women all the time.
Yes, that must be it.
Hayden Pike
Hayden held in a groan as he scanned his teammates' faces. Drapeau, Mitty, and Taylor all had expressions ranging from looking murderous to looking like they'd just sucked on a lemon.
Hayden tried to meet Shane's eyes, attempting to silently communicate the need for Shane's husband to reign it the fuck in before punches started getting thrown.
Would this day never end?
False Assumption 2:
Ilya Rozanov is an asshole to anything breathing, from kids to plants to his own husband.
Mitka
Luckily more and more people began arriving, meaning Mitty and the other Metros had an excuse to make their escape.
He didn't recognise many people, except a few of Hayden's extended family members he'd met once or twice at games, some of Jackie's friends, and a few Centaurs that Hayden had apparently become friendly with since Shane had transferred there. Zane Boodram and his wife, Wyatt Hayes and his wife, and Luca Haas, their new(ish) rookie.
The garden was filling up with people, so Hayden got started on grilling up the burgers. Jackie had finished laying out the food, thank God. Mitty was fuckin' starving.
"Can you call the kids down, babe?" Jackie asked.
"Sure," Hayden kissed his wife before jogging into the house. Soon enough, Mitty heard a storm of kids running down the stairs, and they all sprinted out past him into the garden.
Jade and Ruby spotted Rozanov at the same time.
“Uncle Ilya! Uncle Ilya!”
“You’re here!”
The girls ran and jumped into Rozanov's arms and he swung them around in a way that made Mitty's heart drop.
“Yes, I am here to save the day from being very very boring. Do not worry, we will make our own fun, won’t we, Katya?”
He sets the girls back down onto the floor and takes them over to the buffet style table Jackie had laid out, grabbing a plate for Katya. Mitka noticed Milo had gone back to Shane's side, and was now reattached to his leg. It was kind of sweet to see his old captain so domesticated. Shane had never cared about anything other than hockey, and now look at him, a baby on the hip and a kid at his leg. It was pretty cute.
If only those kids weren't with Ilya fucking Rozanov, the biggest asshole to ever walk the fucking earth. Not half an hour ago, Rozanov had flirted with their wives, in front of them, and his own husband! How much lower could you get? Fucking scumbag.
He'd hoped that maybe he'd been wrong about his assumption that Rozanov was just as much of an asshole off the ice as he was on it, but clearly not.
Mitka grabbed plates for his son and wife, who were sat down on the patio.
Next to him, Hayd was helping the twins with their plates, and his own.
"You are sure you can eat that still, Pike?" Rozanov chirped.
"What?"
"You still have teeth, yes? If not I brought disgusting mashed up carrot and broccoli that passes for baby food. You can share with Mickhail-"
That was another thing. Chirping was all well and good on the ice, but could he not give it a rest for one day? It was Hayd's birthday for fuck's sake!
"It's healthy, Ilya!" Hollzy cut in.
"Whatever." Mitty looked up to see Rozanov rolling his eyes. "It tastes very bad."
"And how would you know?"
"Because I have tasted it."
"You tried the baby food." Hollander folded his arms and raised an eyebrow. "Right."
"I did!" Roz pulled a face. "Was very bad."
"Oh my God, what is wrong with you Roz?" Boodram laughed.
"And you say I'm weird!" Hayes said.
"You've been chirping me all day about being old, and you're out here eating baby food? Actually-"
"You're serious?" Hollander interrupted, looking harangued. "Ilya, why are you eating our baby's food, what is wrong with you?"
Rozanov shrugged. “Mikhail would not eat so I thought if I eat, he will copy. Did not work, I almost threw up.”
“You are so weird.”
”Actually,” Kate laughed nervously. “I’ll admit to doing the same.”
"Ah Ha!" Rozanov said, gesturing at Shane. "Admit you were wrong."
Hollander stood there with his mouth open, looking annoyed.
"Actually, you can go get me beer in apology."
"Right." Hollander scoffed.
"Hurry up, Hollander, I am waiting for my apology beer."
Oh, this fucking asshole.
"God, you're such an asshole." Shane said, rolling his eyes, but he didn't seem that mad about it.
What the fuck was happening? Why was Hollander letting this asshole walk all over him?
Rozanov gasped and clasped his hands over Milo's ears. "Hollander! Language!"
Shane gritted his teeth. "Fine. I'm sorry."
"That does not seem like real apology, does it, Milo, baby? You see how rude daddy is to papa?"
The kid giggled, but all Mitty could think was wow, Ilya Rozanov really is the asshole that everyone thinks he is, even to his own husband.
False Assumption 3:
Shane Hollander lets Ilya Rozanov win.
Taylor
Taylor wanted to scoff watching Rozanov with the kids. Why was he acting so nice? They all knew it was for show.
About half an hour ago, Rozanov had announced to the group that he was leaving the 'boring adults' to go and join the 'fun party'. Taylor hadn't understood what he'd meant at first, and was half shocked that even Rozanov was bold enough to admit leaving a party with his husband to go to a club or an orgy, or whatever the fuck Rozanov did for fun these days.
But that had been wrong, as apparently going to the 'fun party' meant joining the kids playing in the pool at the bottom of the garden.
“There is a shark in the water!” Rozanov shouted. “Help me!”
The kids giggled and swam away as Rozanov pretended to fight off a shark.
And Hollander was just eating it up, too, watching Rozanov with a dopey smile on his face.
Taylor wanted to roll his eyes. And people said that they were the assholes for questioning the trip. It was ridiculous, of course they'd fucking questioned it. This was Shane fucking Hollander, he didn't just trip on the ice. And looking at the way Hollander was looking at Rozanov right now, Taylor felt they'd been right to question his loyalty. It was clear that Hollander was ridiculously in love with that asshole. It wasn't such a reach to imagine that Hollander would let his boyfriend score a goal on them. Rozanov had probably demanded it after the shit run Ottawa had had since Roz had moved to the team. It was obvious just from knowing of Rozanov that the man hated to lose. Hollander probably did it to get laid, or something.
Taylor couldn't help the sneer that appeared on his face.
Even after all these years, thinking of that moment still made his blood boil.
No fucking loyalty.
All for some dick.
It was embarrassing, really.
Correction 1:
Shane Hollander would rather die than let Ilya Rozanov win anything, including Uno.
Taylor
It was getting late when the kids all went inside to watch a film. A fair amount of people had already left, mostly Hayden’s family and a few of Jackie’s friends. Unfortunately that meant that avoiding Hollander and Rozanov had become pretty much impossible.
The ladies had gone inside to make some more sangria, which left the men outside.
They were sat round a large table on the decking when someone suggested playing a game.
The reaction from the Centaurs was immediate, and confusing.
"Fuck no-"
"No-"
”I can’t do this again, please-"
“Absolutely not. Sorry, but you two -“ Hayd gestured to Hollander and Rozanov. “- are still banned.”
Taylor exchanged a glance with Drapeau.
What the hell did that mean? Banned from what?
Boodram laughed. “Oh, I’ve heard about this! We also did this, banned them from any sort of game when we were on the road.”
So Hollander and Rozanov were banned from playing games? That was weird.
Taylor sat back, glancing at the expressions of the others around the table. Most of his friends looked as confused as he felt.
"Unfortunately, we couldn’t ban them from the ice as well.” Hayes laughed.
Okay, that was even weirder, why would they be banned from card games and skating? Was it some sort of PDA thing? Maybe they were all over each other during practice or helped each other during games?
It didn't really fit though, he'd barely seen any PDA between the two all day - thank fuck.
"You would have banned your two best players-" Roz interrupted, looking fake offended.
Boodram scoffed.
Haas laughed. “Yeah, well, it got pretty bad sometimes.”
“Traitor!” Rozanov said, before turning to Hayd with an innocent look on his face. “We will be good, I promise.”
Hayd turned to Hollander, who nodded. “We’ll behave.”
This was so weird.
Unfortunately, it took only about five minutes of a game of Uno, of all things, for Taylor to understand why Hollander and Rozanov had been banned from playing against each other.
“I have only two cards left, and my husband has sixteen, is very sad and pathetic-"
Hollander scoffed. “Yeah, because you waited until it was switched round to give me all your fucking plus 4s. Asshole-“
"Is how you play the game, Hollander-"
"You’re deliberately targeting me-"
"I cannot help if I am better at the game than you-"
"You’re such an asshole-"
”You will not be saying that when you let me beat you-"
"Let you?" Hollander narrowed his eyes. "Also, I'd rather die-"
And then, a minute later, after Rozanov placed his last card down:
“You’re a filthy cheater-"
"Am not-"
"You are-"
Someone let out a long-suffering sigh.
"How can you cheat at uno, Hollander?”
“I don’t know, but you’re doing it-"
"Okay!” Hayd said loudly, throwing his cards down into the middle. “Game over. The ban is reapplied.”
Hollander suddenly blushed and looked around, as if realising that everyone was watching them. “Oh.”
Taylor was sure his face was gobsmacked. Who the hell got so competitive over a damn game of Uno?
”Yes, oh.”
Rozanov just grinned, looking self-satisfied. “Oh dear, Hollander. I guess that means I win again.”
”What? How?”
“You start argument, even though I was not cheating and was playing very fair and clean game, getting us banned again. So I win.”
“Oh -"
Rozanov pulled Hollander into him and kissed the top of his head.
“Is okay, sweetheart, I will still love you even if you are loser.”
Hollander immediately reared his head back up. “Oh, fuck off! When we get home we’re having a fucking rematch and I’m going to destroy you-"
Taylor just watched, his mouth hanging open slightly. He threw Mitty a look that said, 'what the fuck am I watching right now?'.
Boodram groaned. “Jesus Christ. You two are the worst!"
"Worse than the kids." Hayes added.
Okay, so maybe he’d been wrong: apparently, Shane Hollander would never let Ilya Rozanov win anything, not even a game of Uno.
Correction 2:
Ilya Rozanov is ridiculous levels of down-bad for Shane Hollander.
Mitka
Somehow Mitka found himself surrounded by no one but Centaurs.
He wasn’t really listening to their conversation, too focused on the blazing bonfire in the firepit, but something caught his attention.
”Roz is still so damn whipped.” Bood laughed.
“Huh?” Mitty couldn’t help but interject. “Ilya Rozanov, whipped? No fuckin' way.”
The Cens exchanged amused glances, as if he’d said something hilarious.
Had they not seen Rozanov demand Hollander get him a beer? Or the way Rozanov was constantly ragging on Hollander and calling him boring? Or the argument they’d just got into over something as simple as uno?
As if he could read his mind, Hayes spoke next. “Trust me, Hollzy has that man down bad.” He turned to Haas. "Did I use that correctly?"
Haas just laughed into his beer.
”It’s true. The only reason Roz is like that, is because Hollzy always enforces a strict no PDA rule. But because Roz can’t leave Hollzy alone for more than five seconds, it turns into that, because if he can’t kiss his husband, he has go pull his pigtails like he’s a kid with a crush on the playground.”
Mitty just gaped at them.
“Makes you wonder how much of Roz’s chirping when they were rivals was just him trying to get Shane’s attention.” Hayes mused.
Boodram cackled. "Oh, that is hilarious. Not Roz starting a famous rivalry because he had a little crush-"
"Ha!"
Mitty couldn't believe what he was hearing - did they really believe this?
Haas laughed. "Honestly, after finding out that they've been a thing since their rookie seasons, that kind of makes so much sense."
"What?" Mitty burst out. "Since rookie season-"
"Oops."
"Haasy, you're so bad with secrets, Jesus."
Mitty tuned them out for a full minute while he tried to process what he'd just learned. Since fucking rookie season?
That meant Mitty had never met a version of Hollzy who hadn't been with Rozanov. His brain ached at the very thought of it. The entire rivalry; their entire careers.
Jesus Christ.
He tuned back in.
“It was almost a relief when Roz retired. I couldn’t take another day of Roz staring at Hollzy like he was dying of thirst and Shane was the last drop of water on earth-" Hayes faked a gag.
”I did enjoy when Hollzy told him off though.” Boodram smirked. “Before Shane arrived Roz was fuckin' uncontrollable, but one word from Hollzy and he shuts up!”
"Oh my God, that time we went to their house and Roz was like a dog, jumping up to clean up after himself from just one look from Hollzy-"
This was officially too much for Mitty to take in. His brain couldn't cope with the sheer ridiculousness of the information he was being told.
Ilya Rozanov, famous for being able to get any woman he wanted, and being the only one on the ice who could get away with ignoring his coach or a filthy, borderline illegal check to the boards, had been domesticated by quiet, boring Shane Hollander.
And not just that; apparently Rozanov was 'down bad' enough that just a glance from Hollander was enough to get him running around to do whatever Shane wanted.
His brain was officially broken.
Correction 3:
Ilya Rozanov would never, ever cheat on Shane Hollander.
Patrice Drapeau
It was getting pretty late when Patrice stepped through the backdoors and into the house in search of the toilet. On his way, he poked his head into the living room to see almost all the kids bundled up asleep in front of Frozen II playing on the screen.
He closed the door quietly, making his way to the front of the house.
Closing the toilet door behind him, he suddenly heard voices in the laundry room next door.
"Are you okay?" Rozanov said. A few Russian words followed; a pet name perhaps.
Patrice shifted uncomfortably.
Hollander mumbled something in response, too low for Patrice to hear.
"I love you, Ilya."
"Love you more, sweetheart."
A beat of silence.
"You have many new freckles from the sun today, Hollander." Rozanov said lowly.
Hollander groaned in response. Weird. "God, are you ever not horny?"
What the fuck? How had they gone from talking about freckles to this?
Talk about 0-100.
"For you? Always."
"Absolutely not. We've already been gone to long. Besides, I'm not doing stuff at Hayden's again, last time was a nightmare, I'm sure Jackie knew!"
"You are very cruel to me, Shane."
"Oh, you poor thing, it must be so hard for you, it's not like we didn't have sex twice this morning while the kids were at mom and dad's."
Jesus Christ.
This was more than Patrice ever needed to know about Hollander and Rozanov's sex life, but damn, twice in a day and ready for round three?
"I cannot help it, you are just so pretty. More pretty than anyone I have ever seen. Is torture being around you. Your freckles are so beautiful. Like stars in the sky. And those shorts. They make me want to bite you. I am obsessed with you, Hollander, and is your fault."
Wow.
Hollander laughed and then they went silent.
Patrice took that as his sign to escape, his heart beating wildly.
Okay, he admitted it, he'd been wrong.
There was no way in hell that the Ilya Rozanov he'd just overheard waxing poetic about Shane Hollander's freckles had ever cheated.
Fuck, this meant Kate had been right.
Fuck his life, and fuck Ilya Rozanov.