Chapter Text
Kaoru sighs as he leans against the back of his chair.
“Finally. I don’t know where they get all that energy from.”
It’s after hours at Sia de Luce. Kaoru and Kojiro are nursing glasses of wine now that the three teens and their support adult have left.
Kaoru takes another sip of wine as he waits for the other man’s reply that’s likely a diss at Kaoru‘s maturity.
As expected Kojiro leans back with a smug smile on his face.
“You’re getting old, but then again, you’ve acted like a stuck up old man since you turned 19 so it’s nothing new for you.”
“Shut up idiot.”
They sit in silence for a moment. In it, Kaoru reflects on the routine he’s grateful for, even if he’s never admit it out loud.
Several nights a week they’ll sit like this. After a few hours at S, they’ll bicker, sit in silence with a glass of wine or left over desert, and Karou will go to his apartment.
It’s been this way for years, and Kaoru wouldn’t change it for the world, which is why he’s surprised when Kojiro breaks the silence.
“You remember all those years ago, when we stood under the tunnel with Adam? When he told us that we were special?”
Kaoru looks over the see Kojiro fidgeting with the wine glass. Kojiro isn’t the type to do so. The disruption of their routine, of their familiarity, is throwing him off balance. What is Kojiro talking about? Why bring up Adam now after months of his absence at S since Langa won their beef?
Kojiro continues,
“Something was different that day, at least for me. I was awestruck. That someone like him saw me as special. I think… I think I fell in love with him.”
Kaoru feels his stomach drop, but Kojiro keeps going.
“Well at least as much as you can love someone when you’re a teenager, which isn’t much truly. But I realized that something was different about me, and I tried to bury it. Deep.” Kojiro takes a breath. “I like women.”
I know, thought Kaoru.
“But I also like men. I thought if I just surrounded myself with women, slept the nights away, then I could ignore the rest of it. But I’m tired of it, Karou.”
“Why are you telling me this?” Kaoru knew those weren’t the right words to say but he could help it. Kojiro never spoke of his conquests. Not really. Kaoru knew he slept around, but they never talked about it beyond the surface. It was banter or argument material. It wasn’t serious. Why is he saying this now?
“A guy asked me out at S today. I said yes. I guess I wanted you to hear about it from me instead of the gossip at S.”
“Oh.” Kaoru still couldn’t say the right thing. He wasn’t sure why. Kojiro knows Karou is gay. Similarly to Kojiro’s history, they never spoke about it beyond the time Kaoru told Kojiro about his, very short, relationship with Adam.
They sit in silence but now it’s an awkward atmosphere. It’s uncertain from both sides.
“Can you say something?” Kojiro’s voice waivers slightly. It’s the waiver that only Kaoru can hear. The kind that comes from knowing him intimately for two decades.
“Thank you for telling me. I appreciate it. If you are expecting problems from me about this, you will not find any.”
Kaoru sees Kojiro’s shoulders relax.
“Of course a thirsty gorilla like you wouldn’t be content with one gender. Should I be worried?”
It’s a question that leaves Kaoru’s mouth before he can think better of it. Kojiro tenses again.
“Worried? About yourself? I wouldn’t go after you if paid me for it.”
The comment stung more than their usual exchange. Maybe if he wasn’t so focused on his own thoughts he would have noticed the sadness on Kojiro’s face as he said it. Karou stood and unplugged Carla from the wall.
“Well, I best be on my way. I have a client to meet tomorrow morning.”
Kojiro grabs the two wine glasses and puts them in the kitchen sink before walking Karou to the door.
As he leaves, Kaoru feels the need to say something but the words feel stuck in his throat. Instead he looks Kojiro in the eyes and nods. He can tell Kojiro gets it. The inability to say the right words but his unwavering acceptance, even if something in his chest feels wrong about it.
He gets home pretty quickly, seeing that Kojiro and Kaoru prioritized getting apartments close to each other under the excuse that it made getting to S easier.
The last thing Kaoru thought before falling asleep was “If Kojiro likes men, would he have said yes if I asked first?”