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"Hyunjin doesn't think I'm sexy."
"This is not relevant to me," said Seungmin, who had been sitting on the couch playing Overwatch and was now pushing Felix's face out of his personal space.
"Seungminnie," Felix whined. "Hyunjin did a live and he said that I wasn't sexy."
Seungmin ignored him, leaning to the side so he could see the screen around Felix.
"I am though, right?"
Seungmin flicked his eyes in Felix's direction.
"Sexy? I'm sexy?"
Seungmin gritted his teeth.
"I'm sexy on stage."
"Stop saying sexy," Seungmin ground out, concentrating on the game.
"Stay think I'm sexy. There's so many edits." Felix gestured with his phone, waving it near Seungmin's face, and Seungmin used his elbow to pin Felix's flailing hand, knocking his phone onto the floor.
"Why would he say I'm not sexy?" Felix asked plaintively.
"Hyung," came a voice from near Felix's ass. "If I tell you that you're sexy, will you get off me?"
Felix looked back at where he was squishing Jeongin into the couch.
"Do you think I'm sexy?" he asked.
Jeongin hesitated.
"NO!!" Felix cried, betrayed.
Jeongin flung up his hands in exasperation. "Hyung, you're an idol. Of course you're sexy."
Felix preened, a bit, but then Jeongin kept talking.
"It's just that… we know you."
Felix deflated. "What does that mean?"
Seungmin squinted at him. "You're wearing a dirty t-shirt and Channie-hyung's basketball shorts."
"And no underwear," Jeongin said with a grimace, glancing down at where Felix's crotch rested on his lap, which explained why he was holding his controller at about nipple height.
"Also, you haven't showered in like three days," Seungmin continued.
Felix crossed his arms over his chest in a sulk. "People could be into that," he said defensively. Seungmin rolled his eyes, then fist pumped as the sounds of victory came from the TV. He looked at Felix properly for the first time since Felix had come into the room, eyes scanning his face.
"Are you actually upset about this?"
Felix bit his lip. Was he? He'd come in mostly just to annoy them, but Jeongin agreeing that he wasn't sexy made his stomach feel slithery. Why had Hyunjin said that? Did… he really not think that Felix was sexy?
While Felix contemplated, Seungmin and Jeongin shoved him onto the floor and he laid at their feet, staring at the ceiling. He was upset. Why was he upset?
"Do you think this is why Hyunjin won't have sex with me?" Felix asked.
"Do I think that the fact that he—allegedly—doesn't think you're sexy contributes to whether or not Hyunjin will have sex with you," Seungmin said flatly.
Felix nodded earnestly.
Seungmin looked a little like he was going to start biting.
Jeongin intervened.
"Hyunjinnie-hyung loves you," he said firmly.
Felix rolled his eyes. "Obviously. But… he doesn't want me."
"Do… you want him to? Want you?"
Felix tilted his head in thought, wrapping a hand around the muscle of Seungmin's calf and squeezing.
He started nodding. "I would like to have sex with him. And I'd like him to want to have sex with me. Because then we can have sex. Together."
Seungmin was kicking his leg, trying to dislodge Felix's grip. Felix dug in tighter. "Great. Leave us alone and go have sex, then."
Felix shook his head forlornly. "He won't."
Seungmin had now reached down and was trying to pry Felix's fingers off his leg. "Won't what? Have sex with you? Tell him that you want to have sex."
"It didn't work."
Jeongin and Seungmin exchanged a look.
"What do you mean it didn't work?"
Felix pouted. "I said we should have sex and then we didn't."
Seungmin gave up on removing Felix from his leg and slumped back, looking annoyed. "Are there more details? What was the context? Were you on camera?"
Felix shrugged and shoved a hand into Seungmin's sock. "No. I don't know? We were hanging out in the hotel room in Paris."
"What were you doing?"
"He was painting me."
Jeongin made a strangled noise. "He was what?"
"Painting me! A picture of me."
Seungmin stared at him. "Hyunjin was painting you. In Paris."
Felix nodded. "You know the one he did of me with all the, like, blues and yellows? And you can see the, um, where he's put down the paint? Like you can see the lines from the brush? It's like one of the artists he likes. In Paris. Like in the museum."
Seungmin and Jeongin exchanged a look that suggested that they did not, in fact, know the specific painting that Felix was referring to.
Felix waved his hand dismissively, and Seungmin took the opportunity to pull his legs up on the couch out of Felix's reach.
"It doesn't matter. He was painting me, and I said that we should have sex, and he sort of laughed and just kept painting."
"Are you sure he heard you?" Jeongin asked. "He's not always paying attention."
Felix shrugged again. "But this must be why, right? That he wouldn't? Because he doesn't think I'm sexy."
"Did he actually say that?" Seungmin asked.
"Yes!" Felix insisted. He grabbed his phone from where it had fallen and cast his screen to the TV, ignoring the yelling from Seungmin and Jeongin. He'd at least made sure they were in the game lobby, he wasn't a monster.
Seungmin made a noise of disgust and dropped his controller onto Felix's stomach. "I guess we're doing this now."
Felix grunted at the impact and sat up, flicking through his open apps to find the video of Hyunjin's live, cuing it up on the TV.
Hyunjin was wearing a soft purple sweater, the hood pulled up on his head. His lips were plush and pink, and his dark bangs fell into his eyes. Felix sighed a little wistfully. "Namja," he said, mostly to himself.
Seungmin and Jeongin exchanged another look. "Stop doing that!" Felix complained, and he climbed onto the couch, wedging his body between them and blocking their view of each other. There wasn't much space so he ended up mostly on their laps again.
"Personal space!" Jeongin cried, but he didn't move, so Felix nuzzled a bit closer. If Jeongin had wanted personal space, he should have stayed in his dorm and played over voice chat.
Felix started the video and scrubbed immediately to the part where Hyunjin was talking about "Red Lights".
"But Lix… Lix is a fairy," Hyunjin said. Felix tried to concentrate on what he was saying, and not on the way he was tugging at his lips.
"Can Lix even do a sexy concept?" Hyunjin mused. "Lix has a holy aura… Thinking about doing "Red Lights" with Lix is a bit..." and he paused here in thought. "… what should I say. It feels like I'm becoming impure?"
"See!" Felix said, triumphantly. Then he frowned.
Seungmin was frowning, too.
The video kept playing, Hyunjin quiet and fiddling with his lock necklace.
"Okay, but I don't think—"
Seungmin was interrupted by Jeongin pointing urgently at the screen.
"Wait, what was he saying about Hallucination?"
Felix skipped the video back.
"Jeongin is sexy too," the Hyunjin on the screen said. "Hallucination itself is… how should I say it… the atmosphere itself is a bit sexy."
Jeongin crowed, turning to face Felix with a wide grin on his face. "Hyunjin thinks I'm sexy!" he said gleefully, throwing his hands in the air in triumph.
Felix scowled.
Seungmin dodged Jeongin's flailing arm and patted Felix's leg consolingly, continuing his interrupted thought. "He didn't say that you're not sexy. He said that you can't do a sexy concept."
Felix furrowed his brow. That… felt worse.
"I was sexy when we did all did "Red Lights" together" he said, but it came out less like a statement and more like a question.
"Probably," Seungmin agreed, which didn't make him feel better.
"Maybe Hyunjin will have sex with me," Jeongin interjected, still dancing in his seat.
"Hey," Seungmin complained.
Felix knew that Jeongin was just trying to get a rise out of him, but that didn't stop it from working. Felix shoved Jeongin face down into the couch and climbed onto his back, biting at his shoulders. Jeongin was laughing and wiggling and taunting Felix, and Seungmin stood up and started smacking them both with a throw pillow.
Eventually, they wound up in a tired pile together, a Marvel movie playing in the background, and Felix absolutely wasn't thinking about Hyunjin any more. He didn't think about Hyunjin not thinking he was sexy, and his chest didn't feel tight when he remembered Hyunjin saying that he couldn't do a sexy concept. He didn't think about it at all.
Several weeks later, Felix was still thinking about it.
They were taking a rehearsal break, scattered in clumps around the practice room. Felix felt jittery, so tired he'd circled back around to manic, and he shuffled up behind Minho to work out some of his energy on his muscles, kneading at his neck and shoulders. Minho groaned and sank towards the floor and Felix followed, crouching behind him.
Felix tried to focus on the feel of the muscles under his hands, but Hyunjin's voice kept echoing in his head, like a fragment of a song on repeat. Was Felix sexy…? And why did it feel so important? Felix frowned, digging in his hands a little harder.
Minho made a complaining sound and leaned forward and Felix followed, climbing up on his back and perching like a gargoyle.
"Hyung, you think I'm sexy, right?"
"Aish," Minho said, squirming and dumping Felix off his back and onto the floor. He looked at Felix with narrowed eyes. Felix blinked up at him, making his eyes as wide as possible, trying to weaponize his—what did Stay call them?—his 'boba eyes'.
"Don't look at me with that face," Minho groused, covering Felix's eyes with his hand. Felix pooched out his lower lip and wiggled out from under his hand.
"Would you have sex with me?" he asked.
"Hey hey hey hey!" Han Jisung popped up from Minho's other side. "Watch it!"
Felix switched targets. "Would you have sex with me, Han-ah?"
Jisung hesitated, looking confused. "Like, right now? Or like. Hypothetically?"
"Right now?" Felix tried, mostly to see what he would say.
Jisung looked at Minho, still crouched between them. "No…?" he said, but it came out as a question.
"You think I'm sexy though, right?" Felix pressed. He pouted out his lips, sexily. Minho started laughing and leaned back on his hands, watching them.
"I mean… you know I love you, baby," Jisung said. "I just… You're just too cute!"
Felix scowled at that, which seemed to egg Jisung on. He reached over and tickled his fingers under Felix’s chin. “So cute!” he cooed.
Felix snapped his teeth at Jisung’s fingers and surprised them both when he caught one of them between his teeth. Jisung yelled and tried to pull his finger away, but Felix doubled down with a growl. They were attracting attention from others around the room, now, because Jisung was still yelling and smacking at Felix.
Hyunjin popped his head up and started over, and Felix got an idea. He felt a smile curving his lips, and he grabbed at Jisung’s hand.
Jisung looked worried.
Felix wrapped one hand around Jisung’s slender wrist and pressed his thumb into Jisung’s palm, trapping his hand, and used his lips to pull his finger all the way into his mouth. He started to suck just as Hyunjin reached them.
"What are you doing?" Hyunjin asked.
Felix hollowed his cheeks.
"Felix is trying to have sex with me," Jisung complained.
Felix made a wet slurping noise around his finger.
"Why?" Hyunjin asked, eyeing Minho with the expression of a man who has been told the precise temperature at which he would be cooked in an air fryer. Minho, for his part, looked like he was entirely enjoying this, eyes tracking where Jisung's finger disappeared into Felix's mouth.
Felix let a little spit dribble down his chin. Jisung made a noise of disgust.
Hyunjin tilted his head at Felix, taking him in with a critical eye.
"Okay, well, fighting?" he said, petting Felix's hair before wandering off to sit on Jeongin.
Felix spat Jisung's finger out of his mouth, wiping absentmindedly at his chin as he mournfully watched Hyunjin go. He startled when Minho's hand landed on his shoulder, and Minho looked at him with sympathetic eyes for a beat. Then he shoved Felix to the side.
"Go away," Minho said, advancing on Jisung who was too distracted wiping off his finger and complaining to notice the predator creeping up behind him.
Felix crawled across the floor to where Seungmin sat against the mirror in the corner playing with his phone. Felix headbutted him in the shoulder and made a sad little mewling noise.
"Not in the practice room!!" Chan yelled at the other side of the room.
Felix headbutted Seungmin again.
"That was a fucking stupid plan," Seungmin said, conversationally. Felix agreed, although it hadn't been a plan so much as a series of things that happened.
But maybe a plan was what he needed. He could… convince Hyunjin that he was sexy.
He wormed his way closer to Seungmin, wiggling until he was tucked under Seungmin's arm. Seungmin made complaining noises, but still turned his phone so that Felix could watch the screen with him. He'd even turned off the baseball highlights he'd been watching. Granted, he had turned on videos of cat fails, which seemed a little pointed, but Felix would take what he could get.
A week later, they'd finished their third performance of "Do It" in as many days and were shuffling around the greenroom in various stages of undress, pink and black clothing strewn around in messy piles, teasing and poking at each other. Felix felt… electric, deeply satisfied with the performance and buoyed by the screams of the fans. He knew he looked good, his makeup done for the stage lights, his body warm and loose from dancing. He was wiggling back into sweats to go home when he caught sight of Hyunjin unbuckling his belt across the room. He stopped undressing to watch as Hyunjin took the stage outfit off and put pieces of himself back on: pink wide-bottomed denim for gray sweats, black jacket and pink pullover for a black tank top and Nike hoodie, borrowed jewelry for his lock and chain. He'd looked gorgeous on stage, untouchable and sensual, but now, comfortable, tired, and relaxed, Felix thought he looked… perfect.
Unfortunately, Seungmin caught Felix staring and elbowed him, hard, although from the look on his face, it was hard to tell if he was chastising Felix or encouraging him.
Felix was abruptly reminded of his plan to convince Hyunjin that he was sexy. He certainly felt sexy after that stage.
He pondered, a moment, then tugged his pink blouse off his head. He flexed his abs, ensuring that they looked tight and firm, and then moved over to where Hyunjin was finishing tying his shoes.
Felix stopped in front of Hyunjin and ran a hand down his arm, sexily. Hyunjin smiled at him, and then tracked his eyes across Felix's bare torso. Felix felt his skin pebble in the cold air. Hyunjin reached up and traced around Felix's nipple, watching it harden, and Felix felt his breath catch.
Hyunjin reached back and pulled his hoodie over his head, shaking out his hair. Felix felt his cock start to stiffen and he held his breath in anticipation, mentally drafting a text to tell Seungmin to take a car home without him. And then Hyunjin was stuffing Felix into his sweater, petting down his chest and arms in satisfaction once Felix was covered.
"So cold, Felix!" he said earnestly in English. Hyunjin rubbed his hands up and down Felix's arms vigorously, then tugged Felix against his chest in a tight squeeze before pushing him backwards. "Better?" he asked with a beaming smile.
Felix couldn't stop himself from returning the grin, helpless in the face of Hyunjin's happiness. "Thank you, Jinnie," he said.
"Angel," Hyunjin said fondly, then frowned and patted at his own ears, then the pockets of his sweats.
"Airpods?" he muttered to himself. He spun around to look at the room.
"Changbin-ah!" he yelled. Changbin jerked his head up from the game he'd been playing on his phone. "Where are my headphones?" Hyunjin was yelling a little louder than was strictly necessary in the small room, and he stalked to where Changbin was sitting on the couch. Changbin looked confused and started yelling back. Hyunjin gestured wildly and Changbin reluctantly got up and started looking under couch cushions. Hyunjin was inspecting the floor, muttering "airpods?" as though that would summon them to him. Chan and Jisung joined in the search, poking around the craft services table and digging into piles of stuff.
Seungmin appeared beside Felix, snickering. Felix turned to him with a glower and Seungmin reached up and pulled the hood of the sweater over Felix's head, outright laughing in his face as he tightened the strings.
Felix decided to sulk, a bit, and shoved his hands into the kangaroo pocket of the sweater, fingers closing around the smooth case of Hyunjin's airpods.
Felix was lying on the floor of the practice room after everyone else had left. He'd been doing extra stretches for his back—he loved the new choreo, but it was fast and intense and he needed to be careful with the twisting movements—and now he was halfheartedly scrolling TikTok while he waited for Seungmin to finish his guitar lesson.
He was flicking quickly past old memes and dance challenges when he was startled by his own face. He paused, and watched himself doing the slap bass kitty challenge thing. He remembered the members cooing over how cute he was when they filmed it and smiled, although he cringed at little when he ended the video with his stupid nervous wink. The next video auto-played and it was Hyunjin, doing the Body Go challenge, and Felix felt himself flush hot and then cold. Hyunjin was undeniably sexy in this video, rolling his core and flexing his arms, and Felix wanted. He wanted Hyunjin, certainly—and he absently readjusted his dick while he watched—but he wanted… something else, too. He wanted to be the one to do a sexy challenge like that, for once, instead of another adorable cat thing.
Felix had given up on his Hyunjin seduction efforts after the disaster in the recording booth—he'd started coughing uncontrollably while trying to do a sexy growl to impress Hyunjin and ended up lying on the floor in embarrassment, and now Seungmin had another blackmail video—but he still… he still wanted to be sexy. He wanted Hyunjin—all of them, maybe?—to think that he was sexy. Shouldn't he be sexy? Wasn't that his job?
Felix was lost in thought when he heard the practice room door open and close. He craned his head around and saw a damp Hyunjin come into the space.
Hyunjin spotted him and immediately beelined over, dropping down with a knee on either side of Felix's head. He looked like he had dunked his head under the sink, beads of water dripping down his black hair, although it could have just been sweat. Hyunjin looked at Felix, upside down, and then shook out his head vigorously, spraying the droplets everywhere. Felix laughed and yelled, turning his head to chomp at Hyunjin's knee in retaliation.
"Heyyyy Felix," Hyunjin said, sounding delighted. "Let's listen to the new Ateez track? Wooyoung sent it to Changbin, their comeback is soon." He didn't bother to wait for an answer, scrambling to his feet and connecting his phone to the sound system. The bass started booming through the speakers and Felix propped himself up on his elbows, watching as Hyunjin closed his eyes to listen for the rhythm of the song; when he found it, he started to move, hips first, in a sinuous twist.
The song was dark, sexy, and Hyunjin was clearly feeling it, lips parted and tongue flicking back and forth between the corners of his mouth, hands running across his torso and down to his crotch. Felix let himself watch, not bothering to hide the naked longing in his gaze. And when Hyunjin opened his eyes and made eye contact with Felix, reaching and beckoning with those long fingers, Felix was helpless to respond.
He stood with a smirk and a showy stretch that exposed his abs, head tilted as he tracked the music, adjusting his dick in his sweats with one hand.
Hyunjin had started rolling his hips in time to the beat, his hands twisting above his head, sliver rings glinting in the light. Felix breathed in, then out, and when the chorus kicked in, started a fast footwork routine that took him across the room to where Hyunjin moved. Felix had his hands in the air and when he got close enough, Hyunjin tangled their fingers together, pulling Felix into his body. Hyunjin draped his arms around Felix's neck, and Felix grabbed at Hyunjin's waist, sliding his hands under his t-shirt to the damp skin underneath. Hyunjin kept them moving, writhing his hips, pressing them together in a sensuous grind.
Felix let Hyunjin lead their dance, feeling giddy, when Hyunjin twisted them to the side. Felix felt a telltale arc of pain shooting down his back, into his glutes and thighs. He gritted his teeth against it and kept moving, pushing Hyunjin back towards the benches, trying to keep his back still against the way Hyunjin was twisting—which meant that Hyunjin was dragging his dick across Felix in a way that had him gritting his teeth for an entirely different reason. Hyunjin misinterpreted the push of Felix's hands and arched back towards the floor, hands around Felix's neck dragging him forward into a bend. Felix felt the moment the bend pushed past where he was comfortable and a tingling numbness spread out from his lower back, zaps of lighting shooting down his legs. He gasped with the pain and tried to cover it against Hyunjin's collarbones.
Hyunjin pushed back up into Felix, righting them and continuing his filthy grind.
Felix knew he should stop.
He didn't.
Hyunjin was staring at his lips, his own bitten and red, and Felix kept them moving, bringing one hand around and dragging it up Hyunjin's chest to wrap around the front his throat, feeling the movement of his Adams apple when Hyunjin swallowed. Hyunjin dropped a hand to his ass, groping for a moment before sliding to the top of his thigh, grabbing and lifting and making to hitch Felix's leg around his hip. And maybe, if he hadn't already strained his back, he could have managed it. Instead, Felix's vision went white with pain and he couldn't stop his yell. Hyunjin stilled immediately, dropping Felix's leg in shock. The pain of the abrupt movement sent Felix to his knees and he tried to breathe through it, eyes clenched shut, back ramrod straight.
Felix sensed Hyunjin drop to his knees in front of him. Hyunjin was making distressed noises, hovering his hands an inch away from Felix's body, obviously worried about making it worse.
"I didn't know," Hyunjin said. "I didn't think, I'm so sorry." He sounded panicked.
Felix forced his eyes open, regulating his breathing, willing his face into a reassuring smile.
"I'm okay, it's fine. It surprised me. It doesn't even hurt, I'm fine." His voice only trembled a little.
Hyunjin looked like he was blinking back tears. "I didn't think…" he said again.
Which was how Felix preferred it, actually. That no one thought about it. He didn't want to be treated differently, or for someone to assume he couldn't do something, even if he couldn't. He worked very, very hard so that they didn't have to think about it.
Hyunjin had settled his hands on Felix's thighs when the alarm on his phone sounded, interrupting the music. Hyunjin looked over at it. "Voice lessons…" he said. Which explained why he was hanging around the practice room at the end of the day; nothing to do with Felix.
Felix took a steadying breath and steeled himself to move. He reached out to Hyunjin, knocking their foreheads together and massaging the back of his neck, trying to reassure him through the familiar movements.
"I'm fine, I just need a moment. Go, go, you can't miss this because of me."
Hyunjin did not look convinced, but he reluctantly stood and gathered his things, shooting looks at Felix over his shoulder.
Felix sent him a thumbs up and an enthusiastic smile.
As soon as the door closed behind Hyunjin, Felix muffled an anguished scream between gritted teeth, bowing his head forward.
He heard his phone vibrate and noticed it sitting a few feet away. He didn't think he could make it over there and chose to ignore it, but then it vibrated again. And then again. He swore and started shuffling carefully on his knees.
Gabbing his phone, Felix saw the messages on his screen and realized that Hyunjin clearly hadn't believed that he was fine.
Minho:
what the fuck are you doing
yongbokkie.
yongboks.
yongbok.
lee yongbok.
Felix felt like he was going to be sick.
Felix:
i know
i'm sorry
Minho:
what's going on in your head?
Minho was still typing, the dots bouncing furiously. Felix watched them, his hands starting to shake.
Felix:
hyung
please
don't be mad
i'm sorry
The dots stopped bouncing. There was a pause, and Felix wondered if Minho was too angry to reply at all. Then,
Minho:
i know it's hard
Felix cradled his phone between his hands. He typed and erased half a dozen messages before replying.
Felix:
it's not fair
Minho:
bbok-ah
no, it's not
And really, what else was there to say.
Felix blinked back tears that he blamed on the pain in his back.
He gingerly stretched out his back, testing the limits of what it would let him do. He was still stretching when Seungmin appeared in the doorway, looking angry. Felix whimpered at him, and Seungmin came in and helped Felix onto his feet, steering them towards the door and the car waiting to take them home.
Felix knew that he was thinking about it too much. He could tell himself, objectively, that it didn't matter, but he couldn't make himself believe it. He felt a kind of gnawing emptiness when he thought about being sexy, and decided to lean into it; he could control his diet until his abs popped against his slender frame. He'd seen enough fancams to know how much Stay appreciated that, at least; maybe this way, he wasn't letting anyone down.
Felix was resting his head on a long table in the greenroom, eyes opened but unseeing, his phone making noise somewhere beyond his vision. He felt lightheaded and boneless and he focused on conserving his energy.
He jolted when a hand came down, heavy, on his back.
"Yongbok," Changbin said from somewhere above him, and he slid into the chair next to Felix. Felix blinked at him.
"Kim Seungmin says you're not eating," Changbin said, his conversational tone belying the concern that Felix knew was underneath.
Felix grunted, and tilted his head to expose the bottle of coconut water he'd been drinking.
"Aigoo, Yongbok. You need food."
"Diet," he murmured.
Changbin looked unimpressed. Felix flailed out a hand and petted at Changbin's abs with a challenging expression on his face.
"I'm more chicken than man, at this point. I still ate!"
Felix shook his head mutinously, rubbing his face into the table.
Changbin leaned closer, putting his face near Felix and speaking in a low voice.
"Maybe for a photoshoot. But you need energy for a stage. How can I let you go out there without eating?"
Felix looked into Changbin's expectant, earnest eyes and felt a sinking dread in his stomach. He wanted to explain.
"I need to diet. It makes me… I can be sexy. This way. I need to be sexy."
"Sexy?" Changbin asked, confused, but then his attention was caught by something over Felix's shoulder, and he leaned back with a satisfied smile.
"Ah, Yongbok!"
"I.N!" corrected an irritated voice from behind him, and Felix sat up with effort, shooting Changbin a betrayed look.
Jeongin sat down on his other side with a tray full of food—meat, carbs, and salt bread. He nudged the tray towards Felix with wide, hopeful eyes.
"Hyung, please?" he asked. He was really putting effort into looking pleading and adorable.
"What the fuck," Felix muttered. Changbin's hand appeared in his vision holding chopsticks. Felix snatched them and pulled the tray closer, defeated. He stabbed at the food and reluctantly shoveled some in his mouth, pouting exaggeratedly. He refused to vocalize the instinctive moan in his throat at how good the food tasted, after so long, and he ignored when Changbin and Jeongin high-fived over his head.
There was too much here for him to eat, even on a good day, but he dutifully took at least a bite of each thing Jeongin had put on the tray. With each new food he tried, Jeongin made a pleased little noise and petted Felix's hair. When he had eaten as much as he could hold, he pushed the tray away and looked at Changbin with a raised eyebrow. Changbin gave him a proud smile and Felix felt warmth bloom in his chest.
He pointedly ignored Seungmin across the room shooting him a thumbs up.
"What's another word for come?"
Chan tilted back in his chair, looking at Felix out of the corner of his eye.
"You know, like, come," Felix made a jerk off motion with his hand. "How do you say it without saying it… like when you're saying something else but you're talking about come."
"Like a euphemism?" Chan asked. "What are you doing over there?"
Felix had come over to Chan's to try and center himself. He couldn't think about work without feeling… inadequate, like he was missing something vital. He felt… unmoored, and hoped that Channie-hyung's presence could act as an anchor. Felix was currently trying to write, tucked into Chan's couch with papers spread around him.
"Writing."
"Writing what?"
"Music! A song," Felix said exasperatedly.
"You're writing a song about come? You're going to sing about come?" Chan had fully turned around in his chair and was staring at Felix.
"No, I want to not sing about come. But, yeah, a song about come. Or, about sex. But like. Come is part of it. The sex. And the song."
"Why?"
"It's… what happens during sex? Like, the best part? Channie-hyung, are you not coming when you have sex?"
"No! What? I mean, why are you writing a song about sex?"
Felix bristled. "You write about sex."
"I write about trains," Chan said automatically. "And you write about like, love and longing and connecting and shit."
"This one is sexy," Felix said, stabbing at the notebook in front of him, hoping that Chan wouldn't look too closely at the scribbled lines.
Chan laughed. "Your songs aren't sexy."
Felix felt his chest constrict. He scowled at Chan, trying to mask his genuine hurt. "Fine. If I can't write one," he kicked his notebook off the couch, "can you write me a song about trains?"
"Like, for Stray Kids? Or for you?"
"Me. A sexy concept. For me."
Chan looked genuinely confused. Felix felt his heart rate kick up. He didn't actually think that Chan would… be against this. That Chan would think he couldn't do it.
"Sure, yeah. We can find a sexy Genshin character to sing about. Wriothesley, maybe?"
"I'm being serious, Chris," Felix snapped, shoving off the couch.
Chan furrowed his brow, crossing his arms across his chest and leaning back in his chair. "I mean, so am I! You sing about characters all the time! You've never wanted to do a concept like this before."
Felix could feel a burning at the back of his eyes and hated it, turning his back to Chan with a frustrated snarl.
"I should be able to do this!"
"Yeah, mate, you can do whatever you want." Chan was starting to sound pissed.
Chan wasn't getting it.
"No! I… I should be able to do this. I should… whatever it is, I should be able to do it." He took a deep breath.
"I need a sexy song, or concept, so I can… practice. I can get better. I need to be able to do this." Felix was wrestling with his tears, pacing the short distance between the couch and the desk, flexing his hands open and closed.
"You can't… if I'm not sexy, but Stray Kids is sexy sometimes… There can't be a Stray Kids concept that I can't do. There can't be." He sounded desperate, even to his own ears.
Chan was suddenly standing in front of him, grabbing at Felix's shoulders to keep him still. His expression was… pained, maybe, and Felix closed his eyes against it.
"Lix…" Chan started, sounding uncertain.
Felix struggled, trying to marshal his thoughts against the emotions constricting his throat.
"I don't… I don't want to get left behind," he managed.
Chan pulled him into a tight hug, grabbing at the back of his head with a whispered "fuck." Felix bent his knees so that he could rest his forehead against Chan's shoulder. He was holding his breath, trying to keep himself together, as Chan squeezed him.
"Lixie… Felix… you have to know that even if there was a concept you couldn't do, nothing would be more important to Stray Kids than keeping you with us."
Chan nudged Felix's head away from his shoulder, framing his face with his hands and rubbing his thumbs over the apples of Felix's cheeks, smoothing over his freckles.
"You have to know that I would never, ever leave you," Chan said, softly, and Felix could no longer hold back. One tear tracked down his cheek, then another, and then he was crying in earnest.
It started quietly but soon, loud, ugly sobs wracked his body and he could feel his knees start to give. Chan led them carefully over to the couch, gathering Felix into his lap. Felix clutched desperately at Chan's shirt, gasping for breath and burying his face in Chan's chest. Chan rubbed soothing circles into his back and made soft noises into his ear.
Eventually, his cries slowed, then stopped, save for some errant hiccups.
Felix felt wrung out. But he also felt better than he had in a while.
He lifted his head from Chan's chest and dropped it onto his shoulder, opening and closing his mouth to dig his chin into Chan.
"Where did you even get the idea that you're not sexy? You say 'good morning' and stray kids everywhere all around the the world are suddenly soaking wet."
"Eww, what the fuck?" Felix shrieked with a wet laugh, pulling back to smack at his chest.
"Seriously!"
Felix shrugged.
"Does this have something to do with Hyunjin?" Chan asked, voice careful.
Felix chewed on his lower lip.
"Not really. I mean. Maybe it was started because of something he said. But… but it's not, not really. About that. Or, it is, but it's not."
Chan squinted at him.
"I just… want to be good enough. For Stray Kids. And for him. I think… I think maybe. The two things got… tangled up, in my head."
"You've always been good enough for Stray Kids. Always." Chan looked fierce.
"And you can do any sexy concept you want. If it helps, I'd have sex with you. Right now. Even all snotty and gross." Chan waggled his eyebrows and started to reach for the button on Felix's jeans. Felix wriggled away, batting at his hands.
"Yeah, but you're disgusting, and you're horny all the time. It's not, like, special, that you'd have sex with me!" Felix was giggling, well aware that he was describing himself more than he was talking about Chan.
"I'm trying to help!!" Chan pouted at him, snaking his hands around to grope at Felix's ass. "Let me help you!!" He started making exaggerated kissing noises and aiming at Felix's face. Felix squirmed out of his arms onto the couch, leaving his legs draped over Chan's lap.
"Wait," Felix said. "Why… did you know this had something to do with Hyunjin?"
Chan looked shifty.
Felix sighed. "Seungmin?" he guessed.
Chan gave him a lopsided grin and shrugged. "Have you talked to Hyunjin yet?" he asked.
Felix shook his head. "Everything feels… a lot. Things are messed up together in my head. I didn't want to talk until… I knew what I wanted to say. It's not… it's about him, but it's not because of him. And he'd worry. He'd be upset, if he thought… if I was, like. Hurting. Or not okay. And he was part of it."
Chan squeezed his thighs. "Are you? Not okay?"
Felix tilted his head back and forth. "Better. Now."
Chan gave him a scrunch eyed smile.
"Do you want me to look at your song about come?"
Felix stuck his foot in Chan's face amid peals of laugher.
Felix and Hyunjin were curled up together on the couch, the TV on but muted in the background, scrolling on their phones and occasionally showing each other a particularly funny meme or video—Felix had fallen into a Nutella the squirrel hole and kept giggling at all the puppets belly dancing.
Hyunjin had officially come over to show Felix his new camera and the pictures he had taken with it, but mostly he was here because Changbin was out of the country with the rest of 3racha and Hyunjin didn't want to be alone.
Felix was sitting between Hyunjin's legs, resting his phone on Hyunjin's knee, and Hyunjin was slouched down to rest his head on Felix's shoulder. It felt… comfortable. Cozy. Good.
And then Seungmin appeared behind the couch with a shout, startling them both. Hyunjin was grabbing at his chest and breathing heavily and Felix glared at Seungmin.
"Bye!" Seungmin said, cheerfully, standing in place and waving at them.
"I'm leaving. For the night. I'll be at Iyennie's. All night. So I won't be here." Seungmin was still standing there, staring at Felix. Hyunjin looked between the two of them, eyebrows raised.
"Okay, goodbye then," Felix said, forcing his voice to be overly cheerful. He reached over the back of the couch and flailed his hand at Seungmin's ass. Seungmin dodged him and skipped towards the door.
"Bye!" he called. "I'm going now! All night! Have fun! Bye!"
The door swung shut behind him and Hyunjin turned to Felix, a question on his face.
Felix groaned and dropped his head into his hands.
Hyunjin ran his fingers through Felix's loose hair and then tugged, a bit.
"Feeeeeelix," Hyunjin said, and he dragged it out in that way he had, elongating the "E."
Felix raised his head and Hyunjin stuck a finger in his face. "I know something has been going on."
Felix winced.
Hyunjin grabbed one of Felix's hands, playing with his fingers.
"Talk to me," he said, softly, and Felix couldn't say no.
Felix turned on the couch so he was facing Hyunjin but kept his gaze on their hands, not quite able to look at him while he talked. "Do you remember doing a live a few months ago, before comeback, and you were talking about "Red Lights" and doing a sexy song with the members?"
Hyunjin tilted his head in thought. "Pink sweater?" he asked, gesturing to his torso.
Felix nodded. "You said that… you didn't think I could do a sexy concept. That I was too… like an angel, or fairy, to do something like "Red Lights"."
Hyunjin had his brow furrowed. His eyes were darting back and forth and it was clear that he didn't really recall what he'd said.
Felix squeezed Hyunjin's hand, trying to draw his attention back. "It's okay. It's not really about what you said, anyway. We all talk shit during lives. It's… more about how it made me feel. Um. In two ways, I guess. I sort of, I was feeling… upset, maybe. Unhappy? Like, in my chest, here. It felt tight, and bad, when I thought about it. What you said. Not.. really what you said but. The idea behind it? Like what you meant, what you weren't saying."
Hyunjin was biting his lips and it looked like he wanted to jump in, but he let Felix figure his way through his words.
"I… thinking about not being able to do a certain kind of concept… or that, like, someone, people, could think that there was a concept I couldn't do… it made me feel, like, worried? Like I needed to work harder or be different so that I wasn't letting people down. I think it was that you said it and then people sort of, kept agreeing, that I wasn't sexy? And you said it in front of Stays. I started to feel scared that I would let everyone down. I didn't… I was struggling, a little."
Hyunjin looked a little devastated, his eyes wide and glassy. Felix tried to reassure him. "You didn't… like, what you said… brought this to, like, the top of my head? But I think it was feelings that I had anyway, things that I already felt? I just maybe didn't have words for them, before. You didn't… upset me. Not really. But I got in my head about it. And that's why I didn't talk to you. About this part. Because it's really… it's not about you."
Hyunjin nodded slowly, looking like he didn't quite believe Felix.
"Did you talk to anyone?" he asked, and Felix felt a little warmed that Hyunjin knew him so well, even if it was one of his bad traits getting called out. "None of us want you to carry things alone."
Felix thought of the ways his hyungs had taken care of him recently and nodded. "I know. I do. I did. Talk. A bit. I… figured it out."
Hyunjin reached out and gathered Felix into his arms, squeezing him tight and smacking little kisses on the top of his head. "You know I think you're sexy," Hyunjin said.
Felix tensed in his arms. Hyunjin clearly felt it, pushing Felix back to look at his face. "You… don't know that?" Hyunjin asked, sounding bewildered.
Felix shrugged a little helplessly. "Well. That's the other thing that was bothering me, I guess. I want… wanted. You. To think I was sexy. To… want me, I guess. And it's okay! That you don't. I love you, and what we have is perfect, and I'm not… asking. I don't want to change anything. But I think I… wanted. For a long time. And this made me sort of realize that, um. Because I was so hurt that you didn't want me. I didn't… know, I think. Before."
Hyunjin's eyes were getting wider as Felix spoke and his mouth was hanging slightly ajar.
"You want me?"
"Ah." Felix winced, ducking his head down.
Hyunjin pushed into his space, trying to get Felix to make eye contact with him.
"Like for sex? You want me for sex?"
Felix blew out a breath and nodded.
"Okay, let's go," Hyunjin said, and then he was sitting back on his haunches and pulling his hoodie over his head.
"Uh?" Felix stared at Hyunjin's suddenly naked torso as Hyunjin reached out and tugged at Felix's shirt.
"No, wait, uh…" Felix said, trying to smack at Hyunjin's hands but distracted by the sight of the happy trail leading into his jeans.
"You don't want to have sex with me," Felix said, confused.
Hyunjin wrinkled his nose, snaking his hands up Felix's chest. "I do want," he said.
"But…" Felix was squirming under Hyunjin's hands. He thought maybe this needed more talking about, although his dick was certainly on board, already straining against the fabric of his sweats just from Hyunjin grabbing at him.
"You said I wasn't sexy? In the live?" Felix tried.
Hyunjin snorted. "I don't think I did."
"You said I couldn't do a sexy concept. And that it made you feel impure to think about it," Felix said, trying not to get distracted by Hyunjin's long, slender fingers plucking at his nipple.
Hyunjin sat back, one hand going to his lips. "It does. You're an angel." His eyes were dark and he sounded… turned on.
Felix slow-blinked. "Oh," he said.
He'd stopped squirming to process that and Hyunjin took advantage, pulling Felix's shirt off.
"But "Red Lights" doesn't suit you," Hyunjin continued. "It's all chains and ropes." He started gesturing with his hands, gyrating a bit as his hands grasped at his torso in mimicry of bondage. "You don't like that," he concluded, stopping with his hands over his head, crossed at the wrists.
Felix hesitated, for a moment, then decided that talking could wait.
He pushed forward and swung one leg over Hyunjin to settle into his lap. Felix grabbed at where Hyunjin had crossed his wrists over his head, tight enough to bruise, and wrapped one hand around Hyunjin's throat. Hyunjin's breath hitched and his pupils blew wide.
"It can suit me," Felix said, leaning into Hyunjin's space and biting at his earlobe. "I just… have to be in the right spot."
Felix tightened the hand on his neck and slid it higher, so his thumb and forefinger were framing Hyunjin's jaw, tilting his head, and Hyunjin jerked his hips up into Felix.
"How did you let Channie-hyung do this to you on stage without getting hard?" Felix asked, genuinely curious.
"I didn't," Hyunjin murmured, voice already sounding wrecked.
Felix raised an eyebrow at him.
"I got hard every night" Hyunjin admitted.
"You're such a whore," Felix said with a huff of laughter. He tilted closer to Hyunjin's face. "You're so easy for it," Felix ghosted across his cheek.
He dragged his lips across the cut glass line of Hyunjin's jaw, then down his neck, mouthing and licking at the skin. He let go of Hyunjin's wrists to fist a hand in his hair, and Hyunjin dropped his arms, heavy, to lay across the back of the couch. Felix moved Hyunjin's head where he wanted it, angling so he could reach more neck.
He moved lower, sucking gently along his sharp collarbones to his armpit, nosing in and breathing in his musky scent. He licked there, and Hyunjin squirmed, but Felix held him in place more firmly and licked again, chasing the taste of him.
"Namja," he whispered into the skin, and Hyunjin shuddered.
Hyunjin was breathing heavily and rocking his hips up into Felix, pressing their cocks together. There was really no doubt that they were both into this, hard and leaking against each other, but Felix still felt a ghost of insecurity.
He pulled back, a little, tracking his eyes across Hyunjin's face, noting the flush on his cheeks and the blown pupils. Felix leaned in so their lips hovered a millimeter apart.
"And you're sure you want me?" he whispered, so close that their lips brushed.
Instead of answering, Hyunjin surged up and pressed their mouths together in a hungry kiss. His lips were soft, plush and plump, and Felix immediately bit at them, loving the give of the flesh and the whimpery noises Hyunjin was making. Felix pulled back, a bit, with Hyunjin's lower lip trapped between his teeth, and Hyunjin snarled and grabbed at Felix, holding his face in both hands and pulling them back together. Felix licked his way into Hyunjin's mouth, tilting his head this way and that as he ate at him. They were both rolling their hips, dragging their clothed cocks against each other and settling easily into a rhythm, but it wasn't enough. Felix wanted more.
He leaned back and Hyunjin followed, licking across whatever skin he could reach, biting at Felix's chin.
"Jinnie. Baby." Felix was breathing hard, trying to get words out around Hyunjin's attacks on his face. "Can I suck you? Let me suck your dick. Baby, please."
Hyunjin groaned and humped his hips up into Felix, sucking at his neck.
"Okay but… you have to… " Felix reached down and grabbed a handful of Hyunjin's cock through his jeans. "Jinnie, you have to bring this up here," he said, and then pointed at his mouth.
Hyunjin kept sucking at his neck, and Felix was laughing a bit, breathlessly, endeared and so turned on from Hyunjin's attention. "Like you gotta… you gotta stop."
Hyunjin made a little whining noise but obediently detached himself from Felix, twining his fingers with Felix's on his cock. They both stroked together, for a moment, looking down at the obscene bulge he made in his Guess jeans, before Hyunjin dropped his head back with a groan.
"Okay, yeah, yes. How… what's not going to hurt your back?"
Felix toppled to the side and situated himself with his back against the back of the couch, slouched down a bit. He patted at his chest. "You, here," he said.
Hyunjin straddled him and unzipped his jeans enough to pull out his cock. Felix felt his mouth water. He'd seen Hyunjin before, of course, had even seen him hard a few times, but never in this context—never when he was allowed to look, to touch, to want.
Hyunjin was looking down at Felix with a smirk and gave himself a few tugs, unhurried. His cock was long and slender, like the rest of him, and Felix felt his own straining against the waistband of his sweats.
Felix snagged a hair tie off Hyunjin's wrist and gathered his hair off his face into a messy ponytail.
Hyunjin got a strange look on his face."You look like a fairy, Lix," he said, and then he was dragging the head of his cock across Felix's lips, smearing precome around.
Felix stuck out his tongue, tasting the salt of him. And then Felix closed his lips over the fat head and suckled, blinking up at Hyunjin with his boba eyes. Hyunjin swore and tangled a hand over Felix's ponytail, the other going to the base of his shaft, holding himself tight (and Felix worried, briefly, that he'd never be able to feel Hyunjin grabbing at his ponytail in Thunderous without thinking of this moment and then he stopped thinking altogether).
Hyunjin was already gleaming with sweat—at his temples, collecting in the dips of his collarbones, rolling down his sculpted abs—and Felix felt himself start to drool around the head of his cock. He stroked at Hyunjin's abs with one hand, reverently, and Hyunjin tightened them in response. Then, he did a slow body roll, which highlighted each of his glistening muscles. Felix grabbed at his own dick with his other hand, not sure if he wanted to stroke himself or try to stave off an impending orgasm.
Hyunjin rolled his body again and this time it pushed his cock a little further into Felix's mouth. Felix moaned around it, opening as wide as he could, and Hyunjin did it again. Felix grabbed at Hyunjin's ass cheeks, pushing against them a little, and Hyunjin got the message, fucking himself into Felix's mouth with long, deep strokes, rolling his body in a dirty grind.
Felix could feel spit dribbling down the sides of his mouth, and a few tears were leaking from his eyes. As Hyunjin fucked himself deeper with each rock of his hips, Felix could no longer watch the play of his muscles, nose buried in his pelvis, so he focused on kneading at Hyunjin's ass, pulling his cheeks apart. Felix snuck a finger in between, petting experimentally at his hole, and Hyunjin surged forward until Felix was choking.
Hyunjin pulled back with an apologetic noise, but didn't pull himself entirely out. Felix took the opportunity to stick a finger in his mouth alongside Hyunjin's cock, getting it dripping wet before returning to Hyunjin's hole and pushing in past first knuckle. Hyunjin swore and shoved back into Felix's throat. Felix gagged, just a little, and kept stroking Hyunjin's insides.
Hyunjin shuddered, then pulled himself abruptly out of Felix's mouth.
"Open," he said, breathless, and Felix opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue.
Hyunjin groaned, sounding almost pained. "Angel," he managed to get out, and then he was coming in thick pulses on Felix's tongue, then his cheekbones and chin.
Felix sat still while Hyunjin just looked at him, chest heaving, and then he was diving down and sucking his come off of Felix's tongue, licking at the streaks on the rest of his face.
Felix grabbed at his own cock, tugging and pulling at it through his sweats, humping his hips madly.
Hyunjin knocked their foreheads together. "Fuck me?" he asked breathlessly, and Felix could only nod.
He pulled his finger out of Hyunjin and smacked at his chest, encouraging him to get up and off the couch. "Off," he said, pointing at Hyunjin's jeans, shucking his own sweats and throwing them somewhere. He then started rummaging behind the couch cushions, eventually coming up with a mostly-full bottle of lube. He waved it at Hyunjin a little triumphantly, who responded by crawling back onto the couch on his hands and knees, shaking his ass at Felix.
Felix groped at a cheek and crowded in behind him, running his hands down Hyunjin's sweat slick back and then down to his thighs, giving those a grope as well for good measure. He almost got distracted kneading up and down the corded muscles when his fingertips brushed Hyunjin's balls, hanging heavy and low. Felix made an appreciative noise and leaned down to nuzzle them, pulling each into his mouth to give them a quick suck.
He straightened and flicked open the cap on the lube, dumping a perfectly reasonable amount into his palm and getting his fingers wet. Hyunjin was still wiggling his ass, a little, but he stopped when Felix started to circle his hole, dipping in with his index finger.
"Fuuuuuck," Hyunjin groaned, loud and long. He was panting as Felix slowly sank his finger in as far as it would go. Felix gave him a moment and then started to move it back and forth, stroking and petting at his walls. Hyunjin was warm and soft inside and Felix thought he might die before he got his dick in there.
Hyunjin was moving his ass back towards Felix in little jerks and Felix grabbed at his hip to keep him in place.
"Yongbok," Hyunjin said, sounding wrecked. "How does your tiny finger feel so big?"
Felix scowled and drew his finger out and then went back in with two, scissoring them apart. Hyunjin made a noise that sounded like a cross between a groan and a giggle and Felix started thrusting his fingers in and out with more force. He realized that he was rocking his hips to the same rhythm when his cock bumped up behind Hyunjin's balls and they both swore.
Felix craned his head down to peer at Hyunjin's cock and was delighted to find that it was starting to plump back up. He focused his attention back on his fingers and started to pet inside with purpose, aiming for Hyunjin's prostate. He knew he'd found it when Hyunjin arched his back and pushed against Felix with a mewling noise. Felix felt extremely smug.
He tucked a third finger inside, taking a moment to watch Hyunjin's hole stretch around his knuckles. He stretched fingers apart quickly before pulling his hand out and wiping it along Hyunjin's flank, grabbing more lube and drizzling it over his cock.
Hyunjin was making impatient little noises and pressing back against Felix and Felix grabbed at the base of his cock, trying to focus so he didn't come the second he got inside. He notched the head of his cock against Hyunjin's hole and was starting to push in when Hyunjin craned his head around. "Hey," he said, voice serious, eyes locked on Felix.
Felix froze immediately, concerned, but then Hyunjin gave a little hiccuping giggle.
"Do you wanna come in?"
Hyunjin dissolved into giggles, his head falling to rest on his hands. Felix felt his jaw drop open in disbelief.
Felix waited for Hyunjin to stop laughing, but when he didn't, Felix brought his hand down, sharply, on the meat of Hyunjin's ass. Hyunjin gasped and squirmed. Felix smoothed his hand over the spot he'd smacked, contemplatively, before doing it again. This time, Hyunjin moaned, open and wanton, and Felix felt his cock kick in his hand.
Next time, he promised himself.
Felix pushed a hand into Hyunjin's shoulders, forcing them down into the couch and exaggerating the arch of his back.
"Grab the arm of the couch," Felix told him, and his cock dribbled precome with how quickly Hyunjin obeyed, stretching out his long arms. It was awkward, a little, but the grip of his hands on the armrest highlighted the definition of his delts and triceps and Felix wished he was tall enough to sink his teeth into the muscle there.
"Don't let go," Felix said sternly, and then returned his cock to Hyunjin's hole.
He pressed in slowly and had to grit his teeth against the overwhelming pleasure, Hyunjin hot and wet and tight around him. He pushed forward in a single, patient slide until he bottomed out, his balls pressed snug against Hyunjin's, and paused, panting and leaning over Hyunjin's back.
Hyunjin rocked his hips. "Move," he said, voice hoarse, and Felix complied, dragging his cock most of the way out and then snapping his hips forward. They both moaned at that and Felix did it again, and then again, building up to a quick rhythm. Felix had to close his eyes against the sight of Hyunjin spread out before him, sweaty and naked and glorious, trying to ignore the heat building low in his gut.
Two more thrusts and he realized that he was not going to last.
"Can you come again?" Felix panted out.
Hyunjin nodded and Felix reached down and fisted his cock, stroking in time with his thrusts, and Hyunjin made a wounded noise.
It didn't take long until Hyunjin was coming, releasing onto the couch. Hyunjin's hole clenched around Felix and he swore, the rhythm of his hips becoming erratic.
Hyunjin started to relax into the couch and his back tensed, then released, and Felix watched the muscles move in fascination and then he was coming, grinding his hips and pushing as deep as he could go, feeling himself pulsing inside Hyunjin.
As soon as he finished coming, Felix pulled out. Hyunjin made a startled noise and collapsed the rest of the way down onto the couch. Felix followed, pulling Hyunjin's ass cheeks apart to expose his red, puffy hole. He looked at it, admiringly, for a moment, and then he was sealing his mouth over it, sucking and licking inside, chasing the taste of his own come.
Hyunjin started whining and squirming and Felix held his hips in place for another moment until he was satisfied, sitting back and wiping at his mouth, then draping himself over Hyunjin's prone form.
"Wet spot," Hyunjin eventually complained. Then he squirmed around so that Felix was cuddled up to his chest.
Felix ran his hand up and down Hyunjin's torso. "Your whole body is a wet spot," Felix countered, but it sounded awfully fond. Felix darted out a pink tongue to lap at the drying sweat.
They were quiet, for a moment. Hyunjin was tugging at strands of Felix's hair and slowly pulling them out of the hair tie and humming to himself. Felix nuzzled into Hyunjin, his mind finally coming back fully online. He thought, reluctantly, that they should finish their earlier conversation.
"When did you change your mind?" he asked, tentative.
Hyunjin made a quizzical noise.
"About me. This. About having sex with me."
Hyunjin tugged a little more sharply on a strand of hair. "What?"
Felix felt hot, and wished that he hadn't spoken up at all.
"I just wondered… like, between Paris and now. What changed, or, why you changed your mind about sex with me."
"Paris?" Felix could practically hear Hyunjin's frown.
Felix bit at a nipple. Hyunjin moved his shoulder, up and down, jostling Felix.
"You didn't want to have sex with me in Paris," he mumbled, speaking mostly into Hyunjin's chest.
Hyunjin was outright pulling Felix's hair now, probably trying to get Felix to look at him. Felix sucked at Hyunjin's skin instead.
"Felix. I definitely wanted to have sex with you in Paris. I always want to have sex with you."
Felix sunk his teeth into the red mark he'd made on Hyunjin's skin. Hyunjin yelped and tried pushing at Felix's face and Felix reluctantly released him.
"I said that we should have sex, and you just laughed." Felix could hear how sulky he sounded.
Hyunjin stilled. "I thought you meant that we should have sex in general. Like go out and pick some people up and have sex with them. And I wanted to stay in with you."
Felix took that in for a moment and then pushed himself up on his arms, hovering over Hyunjin so he could look at his face.
"Why would that be what I meant?" he asked incredulously.
Hyunjin shrugged, looking a little upset. "Could we have been doing this since Paris?!"
Felix stared at Hyunjin for a moment—at his beautiful, sweaty, stupid face. Then he shook his head and leaned down to take his mouth in a claiming kiss.
Felix and Hyunjin woke up before the sunrise in a tangle of limbs on the couch. Hyunjin had an early schedule, and Felix helped him locate the pieces of his clothing that had gotten thrown around the room and mostly hindered him getting dressed as they kept kissing and giggling and touching.
Hyunjin was finally ready to go and Felix shoved him back against the door, pushing his hands into Hyunjin's hair and standing on his toes to kiss him thoroughly.
"Goodbye, angel," Hyunjin said with such fondness that Felix almost couldn't let him go. He took a reluctant step back and Hyunjin dragged his eyes over him in him a filthy once over, licking his lips. Felix felt his cock stiffen and started shoving at Hyunjin. "Don't start something you can't finish," he said, opening the door and belatedly remembering that he was fully naked and had neighbors, shuffling his body back behind the door.
Hyunjin turned around and blew Felix a kiss as he left.
Felix flopped onto his bed, feeling giddy and light. He played the previous night back in his head, basking in the afterglow, and eventually dozed off back to sleep.
"LEE YONGBOK," Seungmin woke him with a yell sometime later and Felix jolted up in bed.
"There is JIZZ on my COUCH," Seungmin continued, and Felix froze in panic before ducking back down and pulling the covers over his head. He heard stomping footsteps before Seungmin pushed open the door to his room.
"It's not mine?" Felix tried, voice muffled.
"If you—" Seungmin yanked the covers off of Felix, shoving a finger into his face "—are responsible for the jizz having been ejaculated…" Felix winced in disgust "… onto my couch!! then you take ownership of the jizz!" Seungmin finished on a yell.
Felix opened his mouth, although he wasn't sure what he was going to say, when Seungmin threw himself onto the bed and grabbed Felix in a headlock.
Felix wriggled and fought, trying to dislodge Seungmin. "I'll clean it!" he cried.
"Obviously!" Seungmin snarled in his ear. They tussled for another few minutes before Seungmin dumped him off the bed and onto the floor. Seungmin stood with his hands on his hips, glowering down at Felix, then turned and stormed out of the room. Felix contemplated going back to bed, or possibly leaving the country altogether, before pushing up with a sigh. He dug around for some clean sweatpants and a t-shirt, feeling a little guilty but mostly feeling guilty that he didn't actually feel guilty at all and was, in fact, a little pleased, and then slunk out to join Seungmin in the living room.
Seungmin was pointedly sitting on the floor in front of the couch, controller in hand, and Felix gingerly sat down next to him. Seungmin handed over the other controller without looking at him, pulling up an Overwatch 1v1 elimination match and immediately selecting Jetpack Cat.
There was nothing but the clicking of controller buttons and noise from the TV, for a moment.
"I guess it went well then," Seungmin said sarcastically, breaking the silence. There was enough of a raise at the end of his statement to make it a question, in Felix's opinion, so he answered.
"Yeah," Felix said. He was unable to stop the dopey smile spreading across his face.
"Ugh," Seungmin said, using Jetpack Cat to pick up Junkrat and fling him off the side of the map.
"Even if we hadn't…" Felix waved vaguely in the direction of the couch.
"Explored each others bodies?"
Felix felt himself turning red. "We talked. It was good. The talking. The… exploring… part also. Was good. He was—"
"I'll kill you." Seungmin interrupted, sounding entirely serious.
"No! I just… he listened, that's all."
"Of course he did."
"Yeah."
They were quiet, for a moment. Then, abruptly, Seungmin leaned over and pressed his lips to the side of Felix's temple in a kiss. Before Felix had time to react, Seungmin was pulling away and turning his attention back to the game.
Junkrat went sailing off the edge of the world again.
Felix smiled.