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It all started even before they were properly introduced.
It was Aggie telling a joke in the England locker room and Lucy saying that Jana had a very similar sense of humor. Or Jana appearing one day at Barça training wearing a new jacket and Keira noting that Aggie had the exact same one. Everyone that knew both of them was aware of how well their personalities would mesh if they ever met.
They had obviously heard a lot about one another, in such a small world it was difficult not to. Two young promises from two great teams, one raised under the English rain and the other in the Spanish warmth; living parallel lives, almost identical yet worlds apart. The Chelsea striker and the Barça defender. It was only a matter of time before their realities collided.
It finally happened after one of the England versus Spain matches. Jana was catching up with Lucy in the hallway, just outside the locker rooms, while Ona finished showering. Then Aggie stepped out, hair still damp and fixing her hoodie.
“Aggie.” Lucy pointed at her current Chelsea teammate; then at her former. “Jana.”
The air shifted right away, like if something had clicked into place. By the time Ona made her way out of the Spanish locker room, Lucy was standing between them, her eyes jumping from one to the other younger women, perplexed by their instant chemistry.
Later, when they arrived at the restaurant that Mariona had reserved for a dinner with players from both national teams, Jana dropped down into an empty chair next to Aggie. Probably on another occasion she would have tried to sit closer to her Spanish teammates, choosing the familiar comfort of her mother tongue around her; but she was having an amazing time with the blonde and didn’t want to interrupt their conversation. The aura of the Chelsea player had completely captivated her and, to be honest, she didn’t mind it at all.
At that precise moment, Aggie was laughing very loudly at some silly pun Jana had just made. The Spaniard herself didn’t find her own words that funny, but the blonde’s reaction settled in her stomach, filling a void that had been there for exactly three weeks and six days. The exact amount of time that had passed since her previous relationship had ended via text message. The coldness of the breakup was painful, but the worst part for Jana was seeing Jill already parading her new girl across every social media feed, performing the public devotion she had never bothered to give the Spaniard in all their years together.
It was a relief to feel content and relaxed again, without being constantly reminded of how things had ended with the Dutch. The calm Jana felt at Aggie’s side so soon frightened her more than she was willing to admit, but she tried to ignore the knot of anxiety in her stomach and focused on watching the English footballer closely.
Her blonde hair was loose, still a little wet at the ends from the shower after the game. She wore a white oversized t-shirt and the blue England bottoms. Her skin was lightly taned from all the hours spent in the pitch and her cheeks rosy from the warmth of the room.
Jana’s type from head to toe.
She shook her head to get that thought out of her mind. Aggie was nice, she could be a very good friend; but nothing more. Jana had just ended a long and extremely intense relationship, she wasn’t ready to relive the unpredictability of getting to know someone else like that. Besides, she was sure Aggie wasn’t gay.
During the whole dinner, they were never far apart. Mariona and Beth's conversation was interrupted multiple times by the loud laughter coming from their side of the table. Keira couldn’t understand what Alexia was saying, and for once not because of her Spanish accent, it just seemed that Aggie and Jana also shared the same taste in music. And Ona, curled up under Lucy’s arm, tried to listen to Alessia and Ella’s stories, but the persistent howling caused by the younger pair kept distracting her. In their own bubble, both were completely unaware of the knowing looks their teammates were exchanging around them.
When it was time to say goodbye, each team heading to their respective hotels, Aggie and Jana exchanged numbers.
“Just in case someday you come to London and need a guide.” The blonde justified, as Jana added her number to Aggie’s contact list. The Spaniard didn’t say anything back, but she hugged the striker tightly after giving the phone back.
Neither of them wanted to leave, being the last two players to make it to the door. Jana reached for the handle, but Aggie was faster and catched her wrist, preventing the movement. The Spaniard turned, and she felt a rush of warmth traveling up her neck at the sudden proximity.
“See you in the Champions League?” Aggie asked, though she didn’t wait for an answer. She leaned in and placed a nonchalant peck to Jana’s lips. Then, she stepped out into the street, where their teammates were waiting, as if she hadn’t just turned Jana’s world upside down.
The blonde’s own hands were shaking. Why the hell had she done that? If what Keira had told her was true, Jana had been single for less than a month. As the sharp February London air hit her skin, Aggie shoved her hands into her pockets in a desperate attempt to steady them. She had fancied Jana for a long time, and now that she finally had the Spaniard’s attention, she was terrified she had ruined it. She could only hope Jana didn’t mistake her forwardness for a lack of respect; or worse, and end up hating her for it.
Jana didn’t follow Aggie immediately, her feet glued to the ground as her brain tried to comprehend what had just happened. Her fingers came up and to brush her lips, still feeling the ghost of Aggie’s mouth against hers. It obviously had to be a friendly kiss, right? She sometimes pecked her straight friends on the lips too, it was a casual form of affection. Jana didn’t let herself read too much into it.
In the weeks that followed, a steady stream of texts, inside jokes and memes flowed into their chat, shortening the distance between London and Barcelona. However, Jana couldn’t quite grasp Aggie’s intentions. It was a frustrating push and pull. One day, Aggie’s messages would be breathlessly flirtatious and left Jana’s heart hammering against her ribs. But the moment the Spaniard allowed herself to lean into the tension and play along, the atmosphere shifted. It was as if Aggie suddenly realized how far she had stepped over an invisible line and panicked, offered a clipped response and retreated into the safety of casual small talk.
However, the times they found themselves in the same city, whether because of their football commitments or Jana’s convenient excuses to visit friends in England, their relationship blurred entirely between an usual friendship and a casual fling. In person, Aggie’s caution seemed to vanish and her touches lingered far longer than any friend would consider appropriate. Sometimes, in the middle of a laugh or a shared secret, Aggie would lean in and press a soft kiss to the corner of Jana’s mouth before pulling back to finish her sentence as if nothing outstanding had happened. In those moments, the defender’s world wobbled, but she promised herself she wouldn’t let her heart be broken again. So she allowed the fortuitous brushing of their arms when they stood too close and the weight of Aggie’s indecipherable gaze on her face. Jana was convinced that as long as she didn’t put a name to what they were doing, it wouldn’t hurt when it eventually stopped.
Moving to England hadn’t been on Jana’s plans. She wanted to play at Barça for her entire life, but not every decision depended on her own desires. Between all the unfamiliar leagues, the WSL sounded less scary (at least she could understand the language), and, besides, she already knew plenty of people living in London.
Lucy was the first one to welcome her. The Chelsea defender, arguably encouraged a little by Ona’s persuasion, helped Jana to assemble her furniture the same day she moved into her new apartment. Mariona and Keira weren’t far behind. They made sure to take her out for dinner during the first week, right when the new city began to feel overwhelming and the homesickness started to settle in. But it was Aggie who truly helped Jana to feel at home in London.
The Catalan was lying on her couch, scrolling absently through Instagram, when a message popped on the screen.
my mom’s bday is next week. need a second opinion on a gift
Jana stared at the notification. They had talked constantly during the Euros, so much that even Alexia had eventually pulled her aside and demanded to know what the hell was going on between them. She had laughed it off, claiming they were nothing more than friends and she wasn’t ready to let it be anything else (even though both Alexia and Jana knew that wasn’t completely true). The young footballers had also seen each other in the Balearic Islands in the short window between the end of the tournament and the beginning of the season, sharing a few days of sand and salty breeze under the burning Spanish sun. But neither Aggie nor Jana had acknowledged the fact that now they lived in the same city.
It was very Aggie to ignore the complex circumstances and search for something simple to keep them moving forward. Jana knew she should be more careful, but the request felt like the perfect way to see each other without having to address their new reality.
what are you thinking?
Jana reread her words a few times before hitting send. They sounded casual enough.
Aggie shared a link, far too fast for it to be improvised, to an artisanal boutique that sold handmade candles; and to Jana’s surprise, it was only a few blocks from her new apartment. The next message came a few seconds later and Jana thought about how much the blonde might have planned this conversation beforehand.
i’ll meet u there in an hour?
The location also appeared to have been chosen deliberately, but the defender didn’t want to wonder how Aggie already knew exactly where she lived. Instead, she scrambled off the couch and headed for the bedroom, determined to pull together an outfit that looked effortlessly pretty, like she hadn’t spent half an hour overthinking it (as she obviously had).
Jana knew the riskiness of letting Aggie set the pace. As she pulled a cardigan over her head, she wondered if the version of them that had existed in the past, separated by an ocean and without expectations, could survive the chill of London. But as the afternoon went on and they stood outside the shop, the atmosphere between them felt vulnerably unchanged. After a couple of hours, when it came time to part ways, Aggie stepped into Jana’s space, caught her gaze for a second, and pressed a gentle peck to her lips. It was over in a heartbeat, yet brief and awfully devastating for the Spaniard. The goodbye left Jana standing on the pavement for a few minutes, contemplating the casualness of it. As long as Aggie kept kissing her like it was nothing, just a friendly brush of their lips, she would never be able to admit that it meant much more to her.
A few weeks later, Jana was in the middle of cleaning her apartment when her phone dinged. She paused and inhaled deeply, pondering whether to check it or finish her chores first. The lavender scent of the candle Aggie had insisted on buying her «for the help with the gift for my mom» flooded her senses, making her forget the cleaning cloth on the table as she reached for her phone.
It was a message from the English striker.
heading to the center. want new clothes
Jana watched the screen as the typing bubbles appeared and disappeared on the screen a couple of times. Over the last month, their sporadic meetups had transformed into a steady and comfortable friendship. Now it wasn’t unusual for them to go running errands together.
just asking cause u have the best style, i need the opinion from an expert
A small smile appeared on Jana’s mouth, she bit her lip fruitlessly trying to hide it. The amount of time they were spending together was starting to become dangerous but she couldn’t bring herself to stop.
Three days after their shopping encounter, it was the Spaniard who sent the text first.
i was going to the cinema with Lucía but she bailed on me. u down?
It was an utter lie. Jana had the tickets, but she had never told Lucía Corrales. Truthfully, her Spanish teammate was the backup in case Aggie was busy, not the other way around. But Jana didn’t mind telling such an inconsequential lie in the slightest if it meant having an excuse to meet with the Chelsea player.
Aggie’s answer came not even a minute later.
don’t worry. i’ll save you from going alone
That night was the first time Jana slept at Aggie’s house.
“It’s late.” After the movie, Jana had accompanied the blonde to her building. Now they were standing in front of the door, Aggie with her arms crossed and brows furrowed. “You’re not going around London on your own.”
The defender opened her mouth to fight back, she wasn’t a kid and she could easily call a taxi; but Aggie was already pulling her inside, refusing to hear her protests. “You’re staying with me.”
Despite the countless pecks on the lips they now exchanged just because, the boundaries of their friendship remained in place; and they certainly kept their clothes on at all times. Yet, their lives began to blend into one. Staying over at each other’s apartments for whole afternoons and some nights became the new normal. And soon, Jana’s toothbrush had a permanent home in Aggie’s bathroom and a pair of Aggie’s pajamas had their own place in Jana’s closet.
“Aggie. Aggie! AGGIE!”
The blonde raised her gaze from her phone and looked at Niamh with clear irritation. “What?”
“Don’t use that tone with me.” Niamh was frowning, but her annoyance was quickly replaced by curiosity. “Who are you talking to?”
“No one!” Aggie locked the screen briskly, feeling her cheeks get warmer.
“Oh, Aggie.” Erin added, appearing out of nowhere. “Now you have to tell us.”
The striker ignored the keen stares of her teammates and turned to Niamh. “What did you want?”
“It’s not that important.” The English player shrugged. “Most of us are heading to that new cafe down the street. We were wondering if you wanted to join.”
“Sorry, I’ve already got plans.” Aggie bent down to harshly stuff a hoodie inside her bag, hoping the questioning was over.
“With the mysterious girl?” Erin chimed in with a devilish grin on her lips.
“It’s not a mysterious girl. It’s Jana Fernández.” Keira’s words earned her a killing glare from the striker.
“Oh, the cute Spanish defender who plays for LCL! She's a stunner.” Niamh pointed her finger at Keira. “You played with her at Barça, right?”
“Yeah.” The midfielder confirmed. “And now she has Aggie wrapped around her little finger.”
“I don’t… She doesn’t…” Aggie muttered miserably. A flush crept across her face, blooming all the way to the tips of her ears. “We’re just friends!”
“And yet, you’re ditching us…” Erin moved her hand to gesture at the locker room, pretending to be deeply offended. “... your teammates, for her.”
“She just needs help with her groceries!” Aggie protested. The sudden silence that followed was a clear indication that she hadn’t done herself any favors.
A ripple of laughter erupted from one of the benches, Wieke was clutching at her stomach and looking completely lunatic. “You’re doing what?!”
As more chuckles echoed around the locker room, Aggie zipped her bag as fast as she could and rushed for the door. She didn’t want to explain the complexity of their situationship to her teammates. “We are just friends!”
She was hurrying towards the parking lot when Lucy reached her side. “Aggie, wait.”
The blonde stopped in her tracks and turned to face the older player. Even if Lucy was one of the biggest teasers on the team, the striker knew she had the peculiar ability to help untangling messy feelings. Aggie herself had been on the receiving end of that wisdom a couple of times before, during England camps.
“Don’t be mad at them.” The right back said as she arrived at her side. “Their snooping isn’t personal, they just need something to entertain themselves with.”
“I know it’s just…” Aggie fidgeted with the strap of her bag.
“You don’t have to explain.” Lucy’s lips curved in a knowing but reverent smile. “I know what it’s like to date another footballer.”
Aggie couldn’t contain a small grin appearing on her own face; but it was quickly replaced with a frown as she registered her teammate’s words.
“We're not dating. Frankly, I don’t know what we are doing.” Aggie confessed at last. Lucy had proven herself to be a safe person to ask for help. And she was quite close to Jana. “We hang out a lot, always finding excuses to see each other. And it’s starting to feel domestic. She asked me once to help her navigate a supermarket because they are supposedly so different from the Spanish ones and now it has become like a bit of a tradition to go together.”
“That’s very kind of you, Aggie.” Lucy affirmed, her expression softening. “It’s truly very difficult moving to another country and what you are doing to help her is really nice.”
“I…” Aggie shook her head and her voice dropped to a murmur. “I like her. Like like her. And sometimes it feels mutual but I’m scared of fucking it up. I’m terrified that if I finally make a move and she isn’t ready, she will just disappear.”
“We’re all scared at the beginning.” Lucy placed a comforting hand on the blonde’s arm. The young striker had somehow squeezed herself into the deepest part of Lucy’s heart. “Don’t let fear dictate your life or you'll miss the best bits of it.”
“Okay.” A sigh escaped Aggie’s lips as a strange sense of peace washed over her. “Thank you, Lucy.”
The pair began to walk towards the parking lot, letting an effortless silence fill the space. Lucy glanced at Aggie, recognising her younger self in the striker’s worried expression. When she thought the blonde wasn’t going to say anything else, she was surprised by her voice.
“Lucy…” The younger player’s eyes glinted with timid interest. “Do you know if she likes me back?”
Lucy stopped walking as they reached her car, turning to face Aggie fully. She didn’t answer immediately, letting the weight of the question hang in the air for a few moments. “I can’t speak for Jana, but I’m going to be honest, okay?” She waited for Aggie’s hesitant nod. “She’s been through a lot recently and she might not even know what she’s feeling herself yet. But lately she seems lighter, happier.”
Lucy unlocked her car and opened the driver’s door, pausing before she stepped inside. “You don’t sound like just friends to me. And it’s not because of the groceries.”
Driving to Jana’s place to pick her up, Aggie’s brain couldn’t stop replaying the conversation with Lucy. The right back seemed to know more than she had let on. Was Jana ready to cross the friendship line? They had certainly grown close over the last weeks, spending nearly all their free time together. But even though Aggie had been the one leaning into the flirting, the apprehensiveness that her feelings weren't reciprocated made her breath come uneasy. When she believed they were on the verge of something more, the consternation spiked and left her wondering if she was misreading everything, so she felt the need to back off.
Admittedly, on no occasion she had shared a bed with any of her other friends. If some of them stayed over at her place, she would sleep on the couch rather than alongside them; even if it was her best friend from childhood. But with Jana, it felt so safe that she had never questioned it. They also spent hours tangled together, cuddling under the blanket during a movie or whispering beneath the sheets late at night. The kisses they shared were never anything more than a caring press of lips, more like a comfort than a confession. Because they weren’t breathless nor did they linger and they were as casual as any of their hugs, they didn’t count as the starting point of a relationship, right?
The container on the passenger seat caught her eye when she stopped at a red light. It belonged to her mother, who always prepared a meal for the blonde to take back to London when she visited. Aggie could picture the trip back from her parents’ house last weekend, and how there were two of those containers side by side.
“Here is something for you.” Her mother had said, handing her a bag. “I made extra so you can give some to your friend.”
Aggie’s face must have been a sight to behold, because her mother felt the need to keep explaining. “The Spanish girl you’re talking about all the time. I would like someone to take care of you if you ever lived in another country, so give it to her. Don’t eat it yourself.”
Jana had loved the food, and had insisted that Aggie tell her mother those exact words, earning herself a special invitation to her home.
She turned the car to the defender’s street, trying to leave the memories behind. Jana was already waiting for her on the pavement, standing next to her apartment door.
“Hola, cariño. My mother is jealous that yours cooked for me and she told me she is sending a box of panellets to thank her.” Jana said the moment she was inside the car. The pet name alone was enough to make Aggie melt. Then, the Spaniard leaned over the center console and pressed a kiss to Aggie’s jaw, who now was certain she might actually combust on the spot.
The English player smiled, ignoring the tingling sensation on her cheek, and reached for Jana’s hand to give it a squeeze as her foot pressed the accelerator. “At this rate our moms are going to become best friends.”
After a few beats of comfortable silence, the blonde glanced momentarily at Jana before focusing back on the road. “You know…” The defender tilted her head at her words, her full attention on Aggie. “You should be the one driving.”
“No, Ags.” Jana pouted adorably. “You know I’m still confused about driving on the other side of the road.”
“Exactly. That’s why you should practise.”
“Why would I ever need to drive, anyway?”
“What?” Aggie’s expression shifted to one of pure confusion. “For the supermarket, to begin with?”
Jana’s lips curved into a cheeky grin. “That’s one of the reasons I bring you along.”
The striker felt a blush creeping across her cheeks. Jana would be the death of her and she would go happily, as long as it was by her side.
“You’re lucky you are cute.” Aggie muttered, shaking her head and hoping her face wasn’t as red as it felt.
“Cariño, do you have plans tonight?” Jana dropped a tin of tomato sauce into the cart and looked at Aggie, who was pushing it and definitely not admiring the Spaniard (she navigated the shelves very well for someone who said she was so confused).
“I don’t think so.” The blonde replied, pretending to doubt even though she knew exactly where the conversation was going. She had cleared her entire night, and the following morning, specifically to spend time with Jana.
“So, you’re staying at my place, right?” The defender caught the moving cart with both hands to stop its trajectory and leaned over it with her best puppy dog eyes. She batted her eyelashes playfully. “Please?”
A wide beam appeared on Jana’s lips as she added the next sentence. “I’ll even make dinner. Your favourite.”
In moments like these, Aggie couldn’t pretend not to be head over heels for the girl in front of her. She tried to maintain her composure, but the sparkle in her eyes gave her away instantly. Jana pretended not to notice.
“It’s a thank you for coming with me to buy groceries.” Jana continued, twirling towards a shelf to reach for another item. She winked over her shoulder at Aggie. “And we can also watch a movie.”
“You’re being very nice right now.” Aggie eyed her suspiciously. “The last time you cooked my favourite food was because you wanted my help with the laundry.”
Jana smiled innocently, as if there wasn’t a mountain of socks and training gear waiting to be folded on her couch. Finally she admitted the truth. “Maybe I did run the washing machine this morning.”
Aggie glanced skeptically at her.
“Like four times.” Jana confessed with a remorseless smirk.
“Jana!”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Jana laughed, grabbing a package of meat. “I was completely out of socks!”
“That’s why you should do your laundry more often instead of waiting until every single thing you own is dirty!”
“I know, babe!”
“You always enslave me to fold your socks!”
“Yes!” Jana giggled, unbothered. “Because I hate doing it!”
“Well, I hate doing it too!” Aggie snickered back, startling an old woman at the end of the aisle. “And I have to fold mine too!”
“I’ll help you next time.”
“We both know that’s a lie.” The striker tried to put on a serious expression, but seeing Jana’s unapologetic smile made it impossible to stay annoyed.
“Fine, I’ll help.” She groaned, beginning to walk and push the cart again.
Jana looked incredibly pleased with herself. “Thank you.” She leaned forward and cupped Aggie’s face with both hands, obliging the blonde to slightly bend down. Then, Jana placed a quick kiss on the tip of her nose. “You’re the best.”
The car ride back was filled with Jana’s signing and Aggie’s failed attempts to recite the Spanish lyrics. By the time the car was parked, the defender was giggling at her confusion over the rapid wordplay of the last song.
Jana reached for the lightest bag while Aggie grabbed the heavier ones with a resigned sigh. They walked to the entrance, the Spaniard fumbling with her keys, when a neighbour appeared. He held the door open for them, waiting as they made their way in.
“I’ve been seeing you around a lot lately.” He said to Aggie, after an appropriate and polite greeting. “It’s really nice having a young couple in the building.”
Aggie felt her soul exit her body, leaving her standing there absolutely exposed. In a single sentence he had managed to voice the striker’s greatest hope and her deepest fear, a terrifying glimpse into a reality she wanted so badly she could almost taste it. Beside her, Jana looked like a deer in headlights, gasping and eyes wide, as the air between them turned dangerously thin.
“We are not a couple!” The defender finally blurted out, her face turning a deep red.
“Yeah, we’re just friends!” The English woman added, her voice high and panicky, wavering with an unmistakable lack of conviction.
The man’s gaze jumped between them, his expression making it clear he didn’t believe a single word. “Sure.” He muttered with a smirk before disappearing behind his own door.
The tension followed them into the apartment, thick and suffocating, until Aggie saw the state of the living room and the pile of clean clothes draped over every inch of the couch.
“Jana.” She called out. The Spaniard was in the kitchen, dropping the single bag she had carried on the counter, next to the heavier ones Aggie had already left there. “You said four loads. This looks like the laundry for your entire team!”
They decided to tackle the groceries first, as it would be the fastest chore to complete, then the laundry. The footballers worked in tandem, falling into a familiar rhythm that could only be acquired by repeating the motions frequently over time. Aggie moved through the kitchen with a frightening amount of efficiency, sliding the boxes and jars into their designated spots without having to ask where they went. Every now and then, when they handed each other a container that belonged to a cabinet closer to the other, their hands brushed. Jana wanted to believe that it was all friendly, that Aggie would never want her like that; while all the blonde wanted was to finally grab Jana and kiss her senseless.
“Babe, help me put the cinnamon here.” Jana called out.
Aggie placed the pasta box she had been holding on the counter and looked at the defender. She had her back to the blonde and was on her tiptoes, trying to reach the small container towards one of the top shelves. Aggie’s lips curved mischievously, she always made sure to tease Jana about their height difference.
“Of course, shorty.”
Jana smacked her arm playfully. “I’m not short! Don’t call me that!”
“It’s the truth.” Aggie’s smile didn’t disappear as she took the cinnamon from Jana and tucked it into its designated place. “How are you going to reach it when I’m not here?”
The striker turned, suddenly noticing the proximity of their bodies, close enough that they could count each other’s eyelashes. Jana didn’t step back and the tension in the air grew thicker. A few beats of silence passed as they looked deep in the eyes. Finally, Jana turned to grab something else from a bag, breaking the hypnotic spell.
“I’ll just climb on a chair.” The Spaniard shrugged nonchalantly, but her heart was pounding against her ribs. She reminded herself that Aggie didn’t think of her as more than a friend.
“Then I’ll just have to spend more time here.” Aggie replied, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. “Just to be sure you don’t crack your head open. I don’t want to be killed by one of the Spanish legends. It would be so embarrassing having to explain to Alexia or Mariona that you are injured because you are lacking a few centimeters.”
Jana hid a smile, she loved when Aggie was in a good mood and joking. “Oh, they wouldn’t be the worst.”
“Then who?” Aggie rested her hip on the counter and crossed her arms, focusing on the defender.
“Lucy, obviously.” Jana stuck her tongue out. “She loves me more than she loves you.”
Aggie let out a mock offended gasp and pushed herself off the counter to close the gap between them. “You wish.” She muttered, before leaning down to press a peck to Jana’s lips to silence her, though deep down it was a desperate attempt to stay close to the Spaniard without scaring her with the force of her feelings.
On the contrary, Jana felt the touch like a very pleasant bruise. She tucked the fluttering sensation away in the deepest part of her mind, convincing herself that the ease with which Aggie kissed her was the ultimate proof of the striker’s friendliness. If Aggie wanted it to matter, surely they would have talked about it by now. And even if Jana had started to doubt the blonde’s sexuality (certain by now that the English woman wasn’t nearly as straight as she had once thought), she was sure the kisses didn’t carry the same weight for both of them. So she would just have to keep pretending she didn’t want anything more.
The situation they had put themselves in was absurd. Only half an hour ago they had tried to convince a stranger that they were just friends; but here they were, settling into the patterns that defined a couple. Jana, desperate to move forward and avoid a potential conversation about their situationship, bolted out of the kitchen and into the living room, where the stack of clean clothes awaited them.
They spent the next hour buried in the mundane task of folding hoodies and pairing socks. By the time the last shirt was inside the cupboard next to Jana’s bed, the sun had begun to dip below London’s skyline. As promised, Jana cooked under the attentive gaze of Aggie.
Finally they settled into the now-not-covered-by-socks couch, each with a plate balanced on their lap. Jana was swallowed up in one of Aggie’s oversized hoodies; it engulfed her in a way that the blonde found outrageously adorable. She had pretended to want it back after spotting it in the clean laundry pile, but she hadn’t truly put up a fight. If the Spaniard wanted to wear the hoodie, Aggie could easily live without it. In fact, deep down she knew she hadn’t forgotten it in Jana’s apartment by accident, her subconscious had wanted the defender to have it.
When the credits of the movie started to roll, the empty plates had been long forgotten on the coffee table. The footballers were cuddling under a blanket, the world narrowed to just them. Aggie turned to look at Jana and realised the defender was crying quietly.
“Jana!” She brushed a few tears away gently with her thumb, clearly distressed by the Spaniard’s show of emotion. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
“Nothing.” Jana burrowed deeper into Aggie’s side, her voice muffled. “It’s just so cute.”
In any other moment, the blonde would have jumped at the chance to tease her; but under the soft glow of the TV and in the intimate atmosphere of the room, the usual jokes felt entirely unsuitable. Realising the movie had genuinely upset Jana, Aggie pulled her closer. She traced soothing patterns against the defender’s hair, her fingers threading through the dark locks as she waited for Jana to find her breath again.
“Sometimes I wish someone would love me like that.” The defender whispered against Aggie’s chest.
“What do you mean?” Aggie’s brow furrowed, her fingers coming to a stop. “Jana, so many people love you.”
“Not the one I want to.” Jana confessed, her tone so quiet that Aggie almost missed it.
The striker drew back enough to look Jana in the eye. Suddenly, all the doubts that had been clouding her mind since their first encounter disappeared. All the accidental brushes of their hands, the shared kisses when nobody was looking, the peace she only found in Jana’s arms… It finally made sense. Aggie didn’t hesitate this time, she leaned in and captured the Spaniard’s mouth with her own, trying to pour all the overwhelming affection she had suppressed into the kiss. Jana melted against her, the uncertainty vanishing and taking with it a weight that she hadn’t realised she was carrying until the precise moment it was gone.
They pulled apart but kept their eyes closed, their ragged breaths having little to do with the lack of oxygen and everything to do with the profound intimacy between them. Aggie didn’t let go of Jana’s face, cupping her jaw with both hands.
The Spaniard didn’t dare to open her eyes, scared that the moment would end when her eyes met Aggie’s. But the English woman wasn’t going to let the opportunity slip away and she leaned in again. Jana gladly allowed their mouths to meet a second time; although part of her was convinced it was all a dream and she would wake up and find out Aggie wasn’t at her side.
Finally, Jana’s eyes fluttered open. She watched the striker, whose expression was one of genuine delight, her lips curving upwards into an enraptured smile. The sight hit her like a punch. She jumped backwards, the terrifying realisation of what a real kiss could mean for their friendship. She didn’t want to lose Aggie.
“I’m sorry!” Jana exclaimed, her panicky voice disconcerting the blonde.
“What? Why?”
“I know you only want to be friends. I’m so sorry.” Jana buried her face in her hands, trying to hide the mortification she knew was plastered across her skin.
“I don’t…” Aggie’s fingers wrapped softly around the Spaniard’s wrists and gently coaxed her out of the refuge she had created. “Jana. I don’t want to be your friend.”
Tears pricked at Jana’s eyes, hot and messy. She was so stupid. She always caught feelings for girls that didn’t reciprocate them. It had happened with Jill, she had been hopelessly enamoured while the Dutch woman was merely attracted to her. And now she had ruined one of the most important friendships of her life because she hadn’t been strong enough to lock her emotions away. As a single tear escaped, Aggie brushed it away tenderly with her thumb.
“That’s not what I meant.” The blonde added quickly, realising how her words had landed. “I mean that I don’t just want to be your friend. I want so much more than that.”
Jana lifted her gaze from her lap and watched Aggie’s face carefully. “But…”
“I thought it was clear.” Aggie shook her head, a huff of disbelief coming out of her parted lips. “Jana, I’ve been flirting with you and kissing you for a long time. I thought my intentions were obvious! I was only trying to be respectful because I know your heart was broken not that long ago!”
“The kisses weren’t friendship ones?” Jana asked bewildered.
“Friendship kisses?” Aggie’s mouth fell open. “Does that even exist?”
Jana shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know?”
“Jana!” The blonde blurted out puzzled. “Do you usually kiss your friends on the lips?!”
“Sometimes?” At Aggie’s expression of confusion, Jana tried to justify it. “I mean, not all the time like we do! Just… from time to time. It’s a Spanish thing!”
“Well, I certainly thought I was being clear.” The striker’s voice shifted to a vulnerable tone. “I like you, Jana.”
“You do?” The Spaniard asked, still wary.
“Yes!” Aggie laughed nervously. “I assumed it was mutual! You’re always calling me by all those Spanish pet names!”
“I also do that with my friends back home!”
“You Spanish people are so confusing!” Aggie groaned.
Before the blonde could spiral any further, Jana placed her hand over Aggie’s mouth, effectively silencing her. A relieved smile broke across her face. “I like you too, idiot!”
“Oh my god, I can’t believe we are such fools!”
This time, both leaned in at the same time, sharing a kiss without a trace of uncertainty. There was no hesitation nor questioning.
“So…” Aggie murmured against Jana’s lips, her voice breathless and teasing. “Just to be absolutely sure… This isn’t a friendship kiss, right?”
Jana let out a bright chuckle. “No, guapa. Definitely not just friends.”