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“Hmmm... hmmm... Ah, Stanley. You’re still here.”
Indeed he was. Stanley had been standing still in his office for 3 hours now, just staring at the wall. The Narrator had left him to his own devices after the first hour, just figuring Stanley would perhaps wake up from the silent stroke he was having, and alert the Narrator when he was ready. But No. No, he was still staring at the wall. Not even averting his eyes.
“Stanley, perhaps you’ve forgotten the mechanics here. Yes, that has to be it. You wouldn’t just stand here for so long, no purpose, no telling if there’ll be more dialogue... Yes, Stanley, I won’t abandon you any longer here. Here, we will head somewhere much more informative, and then we can start back up! Just a minute, Stanley!”
Slowly, the door to Stanley’s office (which the Narrator had closed earlier out of stubbornness), opened once more to a menu room, the walls listed with controls and panels full of instructions. It was a rather dark room – clearly clumsily put together in a matter of seconds.
“Well? Go on, Stanley.”
...
“Oh, right. My mistake.”
Stanley’s still form spawned inside the room, barely reacting more than a twitch of his fingers as the Narrator babbles on about how to use keyboards and controllers. Stanley doesn’t listen, but as well doesn’t stop him. It ends when it ends.
“Is that clearer, Stanley? Do you understand now? The best method to learn is through trial and error, you know, so go ahead. I won’t mind if you press Q instead of W, it happens to the best of us, Stanley!”
But Stanley doesn’t even do that – not that there’s a proper way for the Narrator to tell if Stanley missclicked, but he hadn’t even skidded to the side or accidentally clicked on the menu, or– or anything! The wall glitches a little, as in a panic.
“Well, henmm... Stanley. I-I do hope you were listening, and I don’t believe you to be completely stupid - I don’t want to. Yes, this... this is intentional on your end, isn’t it?”
No nod. No shake. Just silence.
“You’re a puzzling one, Stanley, I’ll give you that. But lucky for you, I enjoy a good puzzle now and again. Here, this should lift your spirits!”
—
THEENDISTHENEVERTHEENDISNEVERLOADINGTHEENDIS
—
The darkness turns to serenity, although to Stanley, not much changes. The room he’s now in feels different from ones he typically finds himself in, although he feels no urge to peruse. He’s already sat in a tiny comforter as the sounds of light jazz fill the air. In front of him, a 500 piece puzzle. Or 400, maybe 1000. He didn’t care to check for long.
“Is this too complicated for you, Stanley? Because I was looking for a good puzzle for us to solve together, but you’ve been sitting there, dazed in horror. I might’ve gone overboard with it, but I figured you could do a 700 piece puzzle in a matter of minutes, Stanley! Am I pressuring you? Please just tell me now, it’ll hurt less if you do so.”
...
“... I’ve broken him. I’ve broken him with a puzzle. Here I was, trying to help... Oh, sigh. Here, Stanley.”
In front of Stanley appears a 5 piece puzzle. Wow.
“This is better, right? For your small brain, unable to complete mundane tasks without assistance? If it’s what you need, Stanley, I’ll comply… I just think you should get it checked.”
His voice is bland, almost bitter. Stanley would react to this tone with a smugness on usual occasions, but now his only reaction is the slow blink that dares to provoke from his eyelids. That uneasiness is sat with, but not for long.
“Stanley? Are... are you not a fan of puzzles? Is that it? Perhaps I was projecting my own enjoyments onto you, yes... yes, I’m sure. There’s just other things you’d be much more open to, right? Like... ah, um... Well, y-you’ve always enjoyed making fun, haven’t you, Stanley? How about this?”
—
ISNEVERTHEENDISNEVERTHELOADINGENDISNEVER
—
“Hahaha– oh! Sorry, you caught me practicing. Ahehem. Are you ready, Stanley? Oh, this is going to be a hoot!”
In front of Stanley is a microphone. Behind him is a brick wall. That is all he cares to investigate, but it isn’t hard to infer. It’s just hard to care.
“Now, Stanley, I understand this is a little out of your comfort zone, but I intend to make the process as light as possible for you! You’re one to make jokes, and so I figured: what better than an open mic? Yes, Stanley, It’s just brilliant, don’t you see? Go up and give us one of your classic zingers! My jaw is properly prepared to be sore from laughter.”
Still, Stanley barely kicks the ground as his gaze lazily lingers on the microphone. There are many issues here, but only one occurs to the Narrator.
“... Oh. Yes, um... Oh, I hadn’t thought of that. You can’t speak, can you? Oh, but then who was telling all those funny jokes I’d been hearing? Hnn, hm... Stanley... Stanley, I think I’m losing my mind. No, no, no... that’s- I... Intermission, Stanley! Immediately!”
—
ENDISNEVERTHEENDISLOADINGTHEEND
—
Stanley wakes up in a therapist's office, but not inside of it. He stands on the outside of a room, where only the familiar voice of his vocal roommate can be heard within.
“I just don’t understand – I really don’t. I do all I can for him, and nothing. Just silence.”
...
“Not that that aspect can be helped, I suppose. But he never even walks. It’s been like this for hours, usually he’ll start getting bored by now!”
...
“You’re joking. No– no, of course he’s not. I’m doing everything right here, am I not? I provide him with jokes, with adventure, with…”
...
“... I see. Well, I… I suppose we can–”
—
THEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHE
—
Stanley stood in his office. He remembered the pieces of conversation he heard, but he felt no reason to. His eyes slowly blinked, the only movement he’d been making. The office feels sterile, cold, and… most especially, empty. The presence of someone was gone. The presence of someone Stanley never expected to be gone.
It irked him. Genuinely.
...
It was silly, he supposed. He didn’t listen then, and now there’s nothing to listen to. It makes the process much easier. And still… Stanley’s eyes drooped further, and he fell into his office chair.
...
His computer buzzed. Odd. It hadn’t done that in God knows how long – if one at all existed here, anyway.
Stanley’s eyes barely moved, just enough for a glance.
The corner of his screen was lit up:
TEST ACHIEVEMENT, PLEASE IGNORE
...
And as his eyes returned to the beige walls that surrounded him, Stanley smiled.
They both did something right.