come to me slowly

by nveus

Summary:

Kim Taehyung has one job: help Jeon Jeongguk pass his exams.

If he ends up falling in love with him, then that's not his problem.

“I don’t think you should be that worried.”

Taehyung halts, feet freezing in place as the words register in his mind.

He snaps his head at where his friend Jimin is at, sprawled over Taehyung’s bed as if it was his instead, though with the amount of nights they’ve spent cuddling together ever since becoming best friends, it may be as his as it is Taehyung’s.

Running a hand through his hair desperately, he retorts. “How am I supposed to not be worried?”

Jimin is wearing a red and white striped shirt and some dark jeans, brown hair perfectly styled in a way that makes it look natural. Any other day, Taehyung would’ve been pissed and disgusted at the fact Jimin’s been wearing those clothes all day and hasn’t had the decency to change before laying on his bed. 

Today, though, Taehyung can’t seem to be bothered about that, feeling stupidly anxious over something he knows, deep down, shouldn’t be that worried about.

Also, he knows Jimin’s had a long day, so he lets it slide.

His friend is mindlessly scrolling through his phone as they chat, yet Taehyung is aware Jimin’s full attention is on him and their conversation.

“It’s just a meeting, Taehyung-ah,” Jimin says over a soft giggle. It’s clear that he doesn’t understand the motive behind Taehyung’s uneasiness. “I do believe it’ll go nicely. Like— it’s you we’re talking about. What could ever go wrong when you’re involved?”

Taehyung takes a deep breath, pushing up the glasses that seem to be sliding off the bridge of his nose with the tip of his index finger.

“I don’t know,” he groans. “What if my experience isn’t good enough for what they’re looking for?”

Jimin drops his phone on his chest, cocking an eyebrow as his eyes find Taehyung’s. “You’ve been tutoring people ever since we were in high school. You’ve been a TA for the past two years, as well. Don’t you think that’s enough?”

With a shaky giggle, he ends up saying. “I guess we’ll have to see.”

He knows what Jimin’s dying to say. Probably, something akin to how he needs to be more confident and how he desperately needs to start trusting in the endless abilities he owns such as blablabla. 

Instead, though, Jimin chooses to keep the silence for a while, a reassuring smile making its way through his sleepy face.

“Call me as soon as it’s done, alright? I’ll find a way to escape my job for a while.”

Taehyung thinks it’s funny how Jimin always urges him to keep him updated although he is very aware that Taehyung is mindful about their different lifestyles and would never bother Jimin during his working hours unless it was an emergency, a life or death matter.

However, Taehyung ends up nodding. 

He grabs his backpack and checks inside, making sure everything he needs is in there, such as the folder he keeps his tutoring records and the contact info of some of the people he’s worked for just if someone needs it to confirm Taehyung’s good.

Gnawing at his bottom lip in front of the mirror, he checks himself out to certify not a thing is out of place. He doesn’t want to look too nerdy, but he also doesn’t want to look too messy.

The cream colored pants look great with the white, seamless shirt tucked into them. A sweater a shade darker than his bottoms won’t make him freeze out in the autumn breeze, and the platform of the white shoes he plans on wearing are high enough for him to not wet his feet in case he steps on any puddle from the day before rain.

Through the mirror, he meets Jimin’s eyes.

He hadn’t felt his piercing glare. Had thought Jimin had gone back to scrolling through his social media, probably texting the girl he’s going on a date with after he’s done with his shift. 

But, as their eyes interlock, Taehyung can easily reckon Jimin had been staring at him for a long time.

Taehyung gulps, and it’s the cue for Jimin to softly say, “Everything will be fine, Taehyung-ah.”

Taehyung can only hope.

 

—

 

If Taehyung thinks about the words Jimin said around an hour ago, it should be enough.

There’s always been something within him that called for teaching. 

Ever since he was a kid, he used to be helpful towards his classmates that didn’t understand what the teacher was explaining. It was like that, too, that he started being friends with Jimin: helping him with a topic the oldest was confused about.

Then, as he became a teenager, he started helping his younger siblings with their homework. Somehow, word spread, and then, the parents of his siblings’ classmates were asking if he made any particular classes, to which Taehyung agreed, after a lot of thinking it through.

It was nice, seeing the joy in the kids’ faces when they finally understood something they’d been struggling with. Taehyung liked to know he had a lot to do with that, yet fully aware it was mainly because of the kids’ efforts.

After he enrolled in university, he started engaging a little more with that world by becoming a TA during his second year. That way, he could be helpful when needed, yet not be the primary source of help.

There were some students that asked him if he could tutor them personally, but Taehyung always denied, knowing he simply didn’t have the time for it. He was a full-time student, part-time TA, and worked as a barista over the weekends to help his parents pay for the rent of the room he lived in.

He always said no when asked for tutoring — until he got fired from his job, and he felt like his world was crumbling right before his eyes.

He couldn’t be jobless. He needed the money to pay for some of his expenses. 

Although his parents had been supportive and repeatedly told him he didn’t need to worry because they could handle it for a while, Taehyung knew it wasn’t fair. He’d been the one insisting to enroll in a university in a different city, he needed to be responsible for it.

The amount of CV’s he handed out was stupid, as well as the amount of on-line postulations he spent hours preparing, because no one ever reached out to him to schedule a proper interview.

Just as he’d started resigning from finding a job and began planning ways to drop out of university to go back to his city under his parents’ wings, his best friend had had the smartest idea ever.

“Why don’t you give private tutoring lessons?” Jimin had said.

And it had been like a bulb had lit up inside Taehyung’s mind.

Lord. How hadn’t he thought of it before?

If they hadn’t been speaking through the phone, Taehyung would’ve squeezed Jimin between his arms until the oldest couldn’t breathe. 

Because Jimin was right. Taehyung was, and had always been, very intelligent. The bestest of his class back in school, and now the greatest GPA of his class. Every professor always congratulated him and made sure to let him know they were surely spreading the word about him in the future, connections being key in the field.

And so Taehyung told the world what he was doing.

He posted on his social media and asked for permission on the class group chats he was in to deliver the information. He’d also printed a few posters and hung them on the information boards in the university’s hallways. 

Initially, Taehyung thought he was going to be contacted by his peers for private lessons. 

However, the woman sitting before him is definitely not a peer of his, and by the things she’s been telling him ever since he arrived at her huge house at the outskirts of the city, Taehyung can only assume she wants him to tutor her teenage kid.

“My son is kind of a special case,” she says, round eyes looking straight into Taehyung’s face, making him feel even more anxious. 

Taehyung feels speechless for a second. What could she mean by a ‘special case’? Just how bad could it be?

“I’ve dealt with complicated kids, ma’am,” he retorts, making sure his voice doesn’t waver. 

The penthouse is huge. Just from the location alone, Taehyung could tell the woman was rich—but, as soon as the door opened before his eyes, he could only confirm such a fact. Mrs.  Jeon was luxurious in all ways possible, very akin to what Taehyung sees on the dramas he watches with Jimin. 

Her smile was pearly white, bright in a way he didn’t know smiles could be. The black hair was perfectly in place, not a stray lock making her look the tiniest disheveled. Not a single wrinkle in her clothes, which was unbelievable.

Something about her glare was intimidating, yet warm, at the same time. 

Taehyung felt awkwardly welcomed by her, even when she seemed to be very strict and demanding with what she wanted.

“I think mine’s a unique case,” she says, arching her perfectly styled thin eyebrows in a way that screams ‘you know nothing’ before taking a sip of her untouched hot tea.

He can hear footsteps running upstairs. Belonging, supposedly, to the ‘special’ kid he’ll be tutoring if things go right, which he believes they are. He hasn’t been kicked out yet.

A soft smile stretches over his mouth. “I think I can handle it.”

When Taehyung watches the corners of her red lips slightly curl upwards, he knows he has it in the bag already.

“My son is very… let’s say ‘conforming’,” she lifts her fingers to emphasize the word. “I know he can do better, but he’s simply lazy enough to even try, you know?”

Taehyung giggles, knowingly. “I’m well aware of that behaviour. My siblings are just like that, too!” He adds to let her know she’s dealt with that. “Sometimes all they need is a little push. A reward works, too, so they know their effort isn’t for nothing.”

Mrs.  Jeon shakes her head in true disbelief, a certain glimmer in her eyes as she looks at Taehyung with a smile over her lips.

“Where have you been all of this time?” is what she breathes out. “I want you to begin as soon as possible, Taehyung-ah. Is tomorrow good for you?”

The following ten minutes consist of the woman making a schedule for the lessons after checking in with Taehyung which hours of which days he has available that match her son’s schedule.

It’s rather unsettling for a minute to simply be sitting there doing nothing while Mrs.  Jeon plans everything in front of him, yet all Taehyung does is watch how she writes everything down while saying out loud the things she’s putting on the paper.  

He’ll be coming into the Jeon's place twice a week, early Monday mornings and during the afternoon on Thursdays. Taehyung doesn’t think much of it, and simply nods. Only two hours per lesson unless more it’s needed, which will be paid double according to the woman, seems more than okay.

It’s a nice schedule, and it fits perfectly with Taehyung’s classes on Mondays and with his Thursdays online lessons.

She offers him a small tour of the areas she believes he’ll be using the most when coming over for the private lessons, such as the guest bathroom under the stairs and the dining area with sliding glass doors that lead to a pretty cozy outdoor terrace—which is impressive for Taehyung. Since when do penthouses have backyards? With grass and everything. 

Taehyung then learns the apartment is mostly never empty, because if there’s no one from the family at home, there’s a housekeeper that visits them every day and takes care of the chores such as cooking and cleaning, and when she isn’t home, there’s a nanny that takes care of the kids. 

Mrs. Jeon tells him to feel comfortable and ask the maid for anything he could possibly need, to which Taehyung simply shakes his head with a coy smile over his lips.

Taehyung is escorted down. 

The small talk in the elevator is mostly filled with Mrs. Jeon giving even more details, such as where’s the following convenience store in case Taehyung needed to buy something. She also forwards him the phone number of the closest taxi station, which Taehyung knows will never use because it’s way too expensive, but he feels grateful for it still.

And just as the woman is walking him out after having given the doorman Taehyung’s data, letting him know Taehyung will be a frequent visitor from now on, Taehyung sees it. Rather — hears it. 

The roar of a motorcycle, tires screeching against the street, a click of something that makes his ears drum. 

And, then, a few seconds later, he sees him. 

A guy probably a little younger than him, early twenties, wearing a leather jacket and some skinny black jeans, stepping down off a black, seemingly expensive motorcycle after taking off his helmet and putting it beneath his arm. 

There is such confidence present in him as he makes his way towards, boot-clad feet stepping over the perfect grass without caring about the mud messing up his shoes, before he steps over the stone path that leads to the building entrance.

As he gets closer, Taehyung easily tells the resemblance. 

Such doe, soft eyes that are bright, skin just a tad golden as if he’d been beaching all summer, and a thicker bottom lip just like Mrs. Jeon’s. 

For Taehyung, there’s no need to be introduced, because he already knows what the bond is. Also, in his head there is quite the struggle as he tries hard to remember where he’d seen him before, because he looks surprisingly familiar.

Yet, Mrs.  Jeon wears a proud smile on her lips as she announces, “Taehyung-ssi, meet my oldest, Jeongguk.”

“Hello,” Taehyung says under his breath, perhaps a little too quietly. He shakes away the discomfort and smiles as he tries to seem excited. “Nice to meet you.”

“Yeah,” the guy awkwardly greets. In his face, the doubt is readable—one of his eyebrows is crooked, and he squints his eyes as he stares at Taehyung from his head to his toes. Then, his round eyes fall on his mother’s. “Who’s this?”

Taehyung bites the corner of his bottom lip and starts balancing his weight on his feet, swaying slightly from side to side as if that would help the nerves. 

The way the oldest son of Mrs.  Jeon, Jeongguk, had been staring at him made Taehyung feel the tiniest bit uncomfortable. 

A slight chance of said discomfort being provoked by how rude his image seemed like exists, from his black clothes to his black motorcycle. However, the delicate glimmer in his eyes and the almost imperceptible pout in his lips as he speaks were defying the coarseness.

It isn’t even like the guy seemed to be judging him, but his eyes were way too piercing as he scanned them through his body repeatedly, not even giving Taehyung a second to get used to such a glare.

He gets brought out of his mind when Mrs. Jeon’s voice interrupts his thoughts.

“Taehyung will be your tutor.”

What? 

Their reactions are coordinated as they both turn to stare at the woman with wide eyes and gaping lips. Jeongguk’s mother simply blinks at them with a blank look in her face, as if she had nothing to do with the whole thing. 

Then, a second passes, and their glares interlock.

Jeongguk scrutinizes him with his bright eyes, as if asking why he’d agreed to such a thing, while Taehyung hopes his own eyes tell the truth. He really had no idea he was supposed to be tutoring a guy in his twenties instead of a teenager, and he starts regretting not having asked for more information before even accepting.

Taehyung thinks it, but Jeongguk's the one who says it loud and clear, facing his mother as he asks with a shockingly calm tone. “What do you mean?”

“Exactly what I said, Jeongguk-ah.”

For a couple of seconds—five, to be exact—there’s a maddening silence between the three of them. 

Taehyung feels like an outsider, not knowing if it’s proper of him to say something regarding a matter that definitely involves him yet, at the same time, does not. Because, yes, he’s supposed to be Jeongguk’s tutor — but he had no idea Jeongguk was not a teenager nor wasn’t in high school.

And it’s in those five seconds that, surprisingly, a lot of thoughts wander through his mind. However, the most important one being just why Mrs. Jeon is so keen on getting his young-adult son to do well and so she schedules private lessons for him without even discussing it with her son first.

He glances over at Jeongguk, and notices the disbelief in his features and how the tip of his ears seems redder than just two minutes ago.

If Taehyung were to be in his shoes, he would feel a little embarrassed as well. And irritated, too.

“This is fucking crazy,” Jeongguk chuckles before walking past them into the house.

Taehyung’s eyes follow him for some reason that’s unbeknownst to him, but he can’t see much after the guy quickly disappears from his view after getting inside the elevator without even greeting the doorman.

Mrs. Jeon giggles softly as she says, “Don’t mind him. He’ll get over it,” with a relaxed tone in her voice as if this was normal for her—Jeongguk’s reaction. If she said Jeongguk was special, then Taehyung kind of understands it. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then?”

In all his stupidity, Taehyung simply agrees. “Of course.”

 

—

 

to: Jimin

Do you know any Jeon Jeongguk?

Read at 17:56

 

—

 

Exactly a minute later, Taehyung’s phone is ringing in the palm of his hand. He doesn’t even have a chance to pocket it. 

He’s in the bus on the way home after having ended the meeting with Mrs. Jeon, and just as Jimin had told him, he’d simply texted him not wanting to bother his friend during his working hours, yet he wasn’t expecting Jimin to actually call him in the middle of his shift.

As soon as he swipes his thumb across the screen and pulls his phone to his ear, his friend’s speaking in such a swift way it’s quite difficult to understand.

“The Jeon Jeongguk? Are you serious?”

“I guess,” Taehyung scrunches his nose, already recognizing he got in big trouble by the tone of his best friend’s voice. “What’s the problem? Do you know him?”

The loud noises coming from Jimin’s workplace and the chattering from the girlfriends sitting behind him at the bus make it complicated to listen to what Jimin’s saying, but he squints his eyes for some reason as if that would help. 

“We met at a party once. He’s nice, funny and all of that. Overall, a great guy—” a pause that Taehyung dreads. If he hadn’t been holding his backpack with his other hand, he would’ve easily started gnawing on his fingernails. “But as a student? He couldn’t care less about his classes, Tae.”

Taehyung likes being a tutor mainly because he enjoys seeing people learn.

Something about the glimmer in their eyes as they finally understand what was haunting them is worth the effort. 

He definitely isn’t a tutor just for the money, though it plays a big part, taking into consideration he’s quite needing it to continue affording his studies and his life in a different city. 

And, for a moment, Taehyung allows himself to think he doesn’t mind if Jeongguk cares about learning or not. With just a mere tutoring session, Taehyung could afford almost half of his rent. If he can stretch Jeongguk’s interest for at least two lessons, then he could lay off for a while and—

No.

Taehyung does care about Jeongguk learning.

Taehyung does find joy in seeing the people he tutors understand, in hearing the satisfaction in their voices after they ace their exams, in getting the satisfaction that he is good at what he does, which is teaching.

Taehyung wouldn’t forgive himself if he didn’t even try with Jeongguk.

Awkwardly, he wants to know the reasons why.

Why his mother is so keen on him learning, why does Jeongguk seem so uninterested in it, why did he seem so disgusted by the idea of having a tutor. 

“Hello? Are you there?”

Jimin’s voice brings him out of his bubble. 

He feels ashamed at having zoned out in the middle of a conversation, cheeks flushing as he’s reminded he isn’t even home yet, and there are at least thirty minutes left for him to get out of the bus.

“Yes,” he whispers. His glasses slide down on his nose, and he pushes them up with the tip of his index finger. Kind of insecure about using the right words, he cautiously asks, “Is he that bad?”

Jimin shushes someone before answering Taehyung’s question. 

“He’s not that bad as a human. You know, he’s pretty decent. I actually like him a lot,” Jimin makes a humming noise. “However, I’ve literally heard him say he gives a shit about passing his grades. So—yes, you could definitely get along with him pretty nicely if it weren’t for the fact that you’ll get paid if he ends up getting closer to graduating, Taehyung-ah.”

Taehyung tilts his head until it’s pressed against the cold window. 

He frowns, exasperatedly whining into his phone, “You told me everything was going to be fine!”

Jimin laughs, probably throwing his head to the back and hiding his mouth behind his forearm, as if Taehyung’s disgrace was funny enough. “Yeah, but I didn’t know Jeon Jeongguk was going to be the guy you’d be accepting to tutor.”

“I’m screwed,” is what Taehyung ends up assuming.

Over the line, his friend takes a deep breath—which only helps Taehyung in confirming his supposition. 

Taehyung’s eyes look over the crowded streets, noticing the quickness in people’s steps as they try to rush their way to their houses after being stuck in offices all day. 

In the silence, he tries to find peace in counting how many red shoes he can point out with the bus speeding through and the people looking diffuse due to the fog in the windows. The red shapes he manages to count are five, but he’s not sure if they’re shoes or bags.

After a few seconds, Jimin’s voice can be heard in a hushed whisper. 

“Can’t you, like, make a call and say something came up so you’re not available anymore?”

His answer comes immediately. “It’s pretty good money.”

“Ah, Taehyung-ah,” Jimin grumbles quietly. “Maybe you could… see how it goes? I mean, who knows, maybe he’s changed since the last time I saw him.”

Honestly, the vacillant way in which Jimin speaks is anything but encouraging. 

“When’s the last time you saw him?”

A beat of silence, and then, rushedly, his friend retorts. “A week ago.”

Taehyung squeezes his eyes, hopeless.

He hopes he doesn’t have to regret any of his life decisions in the future.

 

—

 

During the early hours of Thursday morning, he manages to slide a message over to Mrs. Jeon, checking if the lesson scheduled for the day is still up. Taehyung wasn’t sure if, after Jeongguk’s attitude after learning he had a tutor the day before, Taehyung still had a job. 

Even if Mrs. Jeon had told him they would see each other the following day, Taehyung had no idea what happened once he left and she got inside her place. 

However, all of his questions were quickly thrown away the moment the woman had texted back something akin to: be punctual, which had frightened Taehyung because of the aloofness.

Yet, he had made sure to follow her orders, and just a minute before the clock strikes 5 PM, Taehyung is knocking on the door of the Jeon’s family penthouse after having been greeted warmly by the doorman, who remembered his name. 

He looked at himself in the reflection of the mirror in the elevator, running his fingers through his disheveled hair to make it look a little more styled after it had gotten tangled thanks to him jogging to not be late.

It would not be a nice thing to arrive late on his first day after being advised of being punctual.

A lady in her mid-forties opens up the door. She wears a white apron over her comfortable clothes, hair in a perfect low bun and glasses falling from the collar of her shirt.

Taehyung immediately recognizes her as the maid Mrs. Jeon told him about.

“Nice to meet you,” he greets with a polite smile. “I’m Taehyung? Uhm… Jeongguk-ssi’s tutor.”

“Oh, yes. Mrs. Jeon told me about you! Come in, come in,” she takes a step to the back, allowing Taehyung to walk in. She closes the door after he’s inside, words spoken very rapidly as she begins making her way towards the staircase, looking over her shoulder. “Jeongguk-ssi should be in his room. I’ll let him know you’ve arrived! You can wait in the dining room.”

Taehyung is speechless, eyes following the woman’s body up the stairs until she’s out of sight.

For a second, he forgets about all the indications Mrs. Jeon had taught him the day before. 

He tries to remember if the dining room was supposed to be down the hallway that’s on his left, or if it was to his right. His eyes try to scrutinize the paths, but it’s almost as if his nerves had been enough to blank his memory.

Unsurely, he slowly makes his way towards the right wing of the house, peeking out through the door to check if he’s not stepping into forbidden territory. 

The dark wooden dining table is huge, with eight white seats surrounding it. It looks very cozy, yet very elegant, at the same time. The marble-like flooring gives it a modern touch along the double ceiling, which makes the room feel even bigger, but the wooden panelling in the wall gives it an antique look.

Taehyung hesitates in leaving his backpack on a chair, wondering just how much staining the expensive fabric would cost. With his bag on the floor, he begins taking some of his stuff out, such as his rattly laptop and some papers he printed, layering them on the table.

He carefully sits down, eyes immediately turning to his left, where the huge ceiling-to-floor windows are.

It’s a nice day in Seoul. Sunny enough for the sunrays to warm him as he made his way from the closest bus stop to the Jeon’s place, yet the wind was cold enough it felt like little needles ripping his skin apart. 

From up-high, Seoul looks amicable. 

The blue-ish sky with a few clouds scattered, the hill looking as small as ever, some few birds flying past. 

He’s amidst removing his scarf when he hears stomping feet making their way over. 

Taehyung’s eyes immediately dart over the door, aware of someone being about to walk in. 

And as he believed, so it happens.

Jeon Jeongguk steps in the dining room with a slight frown between his eyebrows, wearing a black beanie that covers all of his hair except for the longest locks at the back. He’s wearing black joggers, and a huge shirt which he seems to be drowning in.

Taehyung stands from his seat, extending his arm as he cordially greets him. “Jeongguk-ssi.”

The guy dressed in black shrugs, ignoring the handshake as he slightly waves before sitting down at the chair adjacent to Taehyung.

Before Taehyung can speak, holding back from saying something he would really regret, the woman who opened the door for him steps in with a tray in her hands. 

Back in his chair, Taehyung politely grins at her as she begins placing two glasses on the table. “Brought you water and a jar of fresh juice,” the corners of her eyes wrinkle as she stares at Jeongguk, a small bowl filled with green grapes slides in front of the guy as the maid adds: “Brought you your favorites, too.”

Probably, Taehyung shouldn’t find it cute—how Jeongguk fights off the curl of his lips as the woman rubs the top of his head before leaving—but he does, lips slightly falling open as he realizes Jeongguk isn’t only a bad boy of some sorts. 

Jeongguk, in his black clothes, is such a contrast.

Sitting in a white chair, with natural light reflecting on his doe eyes as his hands fiddle with one of the grapes before putting it inside his mouth, not without biting it in a manner that should be prohibited from doing in daylight.

Taehyung clears his throat, finger adjusting his glasses before he’s grabbing one of the printed papers. 

“Your mother told me you’re failing…” His eyes roam over the sheet with Jeongguk’s scores, which he’s sure it’s kind of an invasion of privacy. “Your accounting course, if I’m not mistaken,” he tries to break off the awkward silence with a chuckle.

When he looks up from the paper sheet, he immediately finds Jeongguk’s eyes on him. A piercing stare that has him fidgeting in his seat, uncomfortable. 

“I really don’t know what my mom said to you,” Jeongguk begins, furrowed eyebrows as he talks in a pout—which is anything but intimidating. “But I really don’t need your help.”

Taehyung has dealt with kids like that — smarty-pants, so he has kind of mastered the magic behind the treatment they deserve: the words they want to hear and how to convince them; but never with a twenty-one year guy. 

All the people he’s given tutoring to from his university aren’t like that. Mostly, they are interested in learning because they know they’re lacking something. And even if they’re not interested and they’ve been in the few classes he’s been a TA for, they simply do not bother him.

Jeongguk, though… Taehyung has no idea how to deal with.

“There is a reason your mom contacted me,” he ends up saying in a very serene way. The last thing he wants is to upset Jeongguk. “And— I get it, you’re an ‘adult’ now and you can look out for yourself,” Taehyung’s inner voice laughs at that. “But if you don’t want me here, then you’ll have to speak it out with her, Jeongguk-ssi. I can’t just leave. I’m getting paid for this.”

The guy crosses his arms over his torso, leaning back on the chair. His tongue is against the inside of his cheek, looking stupidly cocky as he asks, “How much?”

Taehyung blinks. “I’m sorry?”

“I can pay you as much as my mother’s paying you,” Jeongguk explains, shrugging. Worse is, he dares to continue. “You can get the money for free. Just— tell a little white lie to my mom. I don’t know.” 

It takes a few seconds for Taehyung to find the words, spitting them quite softly although he feels his veins flaring from how angry he’s getting. “Are you actually proposing that to me?”

Jeongguk has the decency to nod. “No one has to know but us.”

Taehyung gapes in disbelief. 

With each words that leaves his mouth, he’s more astonished. 

Just… how can someone be as empty-headed? 

He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes and counting in his mind. One, two, three. He exhales, eyes slowly opening and hoping, for a second, he’d simply hallucinated their exchange of words and that Jeongguk is actually being a kind guy.

But, as his eyes fall upon Jeongguk’s face, all he sees is that narcissistic look.

“I do need the money, yes, but I definitely don’t need your money,” Taehyung explains bitterly, hastingly grabbing his backpack and zipping it open to put his stuff inside. “Don’t try to persuade me into some twisted deal because I won’t accept. This is my job, and if you won’t cooperate, then I’ll find something else.”

The frown in the younger man’s face deepens, clear disappointment in his features and voice as he asks. “You’ll leave?”

Taehyung throws the papers inside his backpack messily with a false lopsided smile taking over his lips while retorting. “You expect me to stay?”

“No, but…”

The silence hangs in the air while Taehyung zips his backpack, grabbing his scarf from the chair he’d left it at and wrapping it around his neck before standing up, fingers tight around the strap of his bag. 

Jeongguk gnaws on his bottom lip, quietly muttering. “My dad’s going to be so fucking disappointed.”

Honestly, Taehyung isn’t sure he was supposed to hear. 

Either way, he questions, utterly confused at the demeanor change. “Is that my fault now?”

“No,” Jeongguk clicks his tongue, scrunching his nose before his eyes look up, meeting Taehyung’s with a slightly different gleam in them that Taehyung, awkwardly enough, finds himself yearning to know what it means. “It’s just…”

Before any other word can be exchanged, Taehyung hears loud footsteps getting closer, probably running through the hallway, along with two very different high-pitched voices excitedly calling, “Jeongguk-ie!”

Two kids barge in the room with school uniforms. 

They look the same age, probably around seven or eight years old. A girl, wearing two braids at each side of her face and full bangs, a white shirt tucked into a skirt that goes down her knees; and a boy, with a bowl cut that makes his cheeks more pronounceable, wearing the same shirt as the girl, but with a blue stain right on his stomach.

Taehyung notices they have the same big upper front teeth as Jeongguk.

Jeongguk, who immediately turns to look over his shoulder as his name is called, a smile stretching over his lips so widely it has the corners of his eyes wrinkling. 

The young girl wraps her arms around his neck, climbing up his lap and sticking her tongue out at the boy, who rolls his eyes and sticks it back as Jeongguk wraps an arm around his shoulders, ruffling his bowl cut.

His voice is muffled as he asks the kids something about school. The kids’ voices overlap as they answer Jeongguk’s question, but he doesn’t seem to mind—attentively listening to what each has to say.

Taehyung feels glued to the floor as he sees Jeongguk looking so damn comfortable and talking so sweetly to the kids, not understanding much about how he could go from being so cold and harsh to a literal sweetheart.

Suddenly, Mrs. Jeon’s voice can be heard. “What did I say?” 

She walks inside the dining room with her hands on her hips, red lips in a straight line as he zeroes her eyes in the kids, who hide from her sight behind Jeongguk’s body. 

The guy giggles softly, patting the kid’s backs. “Mom, ‘s okay.” 

“Aren’t you supposed to be studying, Jeongguk?” She says. Her eyes fall upon Taehyung, who’s standing, fixing her stare on the backpack over his shoulders and in the scarf around his neck. “Are you leaving?”

Yes. 

Here comes the time to subtly tell Mrs. Jeon how her son is a disgusting person who tried to coax him into a troublesome deal because he’s someone who believes in people being dumb for money and—

Taehyung clears his throat. “Actually—”

“Something very important came up, mom,” Jeongguk interrupts him, giving him a swift glance that screams please. “We’re rescheduling.”

What?

Taehyung feels the need to say the truth: nothing came up and he’s actually leaving to never come back even if the pay’s nice. They’re not rescheduling anything because Jeongguk isn’t even interested in learning and Taehyung himself isn’t even sure he wants to ever see Jeongguk again—

“Understandable. I’m well aware of how busy you are, Taehyung,” Mrs. Jeon says while nodding slowly, eyes now on her oldest son. “That means you can take them out for ice cream as you promised a few days ago, right?”

Jeongguk nods, an excited smile over his lips as he watches the kids celebrate about getting ice cream. “Go get changed,” he tells them, the pair of children obeying and making their way out of the dining room. “I’ll take the car,” Jeongguk then says to his mother. It sounds more like a can I take the car? Instead.

Taehyung can’t believe it. 

This Jeongguk, the one who smiles widely at his siblings and softly asks his mother if he can take the car, is completely different to the Jeongguk he saw yesterday, stepping off of a black motorcycle and not even worrying about the thing his mother was talking about.

Does Jeongguk hate him? 

Is Taehyung the reason behind his sudden nonchalance whenever he is around? It would be stupid. Taehyung isn't to blame for his bad scores.

“Do you need a drive, Taehyung-ah?”

Mrs. Jeon interrupts his train of thoughts with a simple and very kind question. 

Taehyung dares to glare at Jeongguk for less than a second. God. The last thing he wants is to have Jeongguk driving him somewhere. 

He shakes his head. “No. I’m—” he rubs his hands against his thighs. “Thanks, but I don’t.”

“A bummer, Taehyung-ah,” the woman says, lips in a straight line. Then, she adds, “I’ll drop you at the door so Jeongguk can go get his wallet.”

His plan is to leave as quickly as possible, so he accepts her offer and plans to scurry away without needing to say a single word to her oldest child. 

However, before he can try to make small talk with Mrs. Jeon in hopes of ignoring Jeongguk's presence, the guy’s voice can be heard. 

“See you on Monday, Taehyung.”

And Taehyung hisses quietly, licking his lips before retorting in a not-so sarcastic way, “Yes. I’m so excited to work with you.”

If Mrs. Jeon notices the awkwardness in his voice or the way Jeongguk rolls his eyes, she mentions nothing while walking Taehyung to the door with a light smile as she wishes him good luck.

Taehyung will definitely need it, but not for the reason she thinks he will.

 

—

 

to: Jimin

Jeongguk is weird

Read at 17:49

 

—

 

Taehyung tries his best to forget about Jeongguk’s attitude while struggling to come up with a decent excuse to present to Mrs. Jeon for having to cancel their deal, truthfully not wanting to get on her bad side for bad mouthing her oldest son. 

Also, Taehyung can tell Jeongguk isn’t a bad boy. He’s just… complicated.

Still, he doesn’t think he has it within himself to find the time to deal with someone like him. 

Through the phone, he sighs. “I swear, Jimin. He’s so—” he pauses, trying to find the perfect word to describe him while making his way over to his chess meeting. 

He feels sweat accumulating over his back beneath his clothes from how long the walk was from the Business Faculty to the Science one, where, not strangely enough, the chess committee has its weekly meetings. 

Taehyung isn’t a part of the committee. He doesn’t even understand certain chess movements most of the time, but each Friday he has time to kill after his morning class finishes and the next one begins at 3 o’clock.

Jimin isn’t available on Fridays, having contemporary dance classes from midday to late in the afternoon. 

Matter of fact, Jimin is rushing through the streets to reach his class on time — and such hurry can be heard in his ragged breathing as he retorts over a giggle. “Difficult?”

Taehyung’s phone is sandwiched between his ear and his shoulder as he struggles to find his student ID card in the messy pocket of his backpack. “Kinda. I don’t know for sure, though,” he juts his lips. “He’s… weird.”

After finding his card and scanning it by the door, he begins making his way through the building, apologizing as he shoulder-bumps into some people while scurrying through the crowds.

It’s not that he’s late. Frankly, he’s right on time. Early, even. 

Simply, Taehyung hates being late and becoming the center of attention as he interrupts the silence that prevails in the room while the chess experts discuss important stuff.

Over the line, he hears Jimin apologizing to some people before a quiet beep is heard, which means he reached his destination. 

“I don’t know him well enough,” Jimin ends up saying once his breath is composed. “What do you mean he’s weird?”

Taehyung is taking the first steps in the staircase while replying, eyes fixed on his feet to not trip. “His acts are peculiar. Yesterday, he was all cocky with me, and then his siblings—I think they’re his siblings—came in and he transformed into a literal sunshine, Jimin-ah.”

Jimin laughs. “Maybe he needs to trust you more? I’m not sure. I really don’t know much about him.”

Taehyung needs to reach the third floor. Just another staircase and he’s done — but it feels like a lot.

After taking a deep breath, he continues climbing up the stairs. 

“I don’t think I want him to trust me,” he scoffs. “I don’t want to go back ever again!”

“Aish, I don’t think it is that bad, Taehyung-ah.”

Another fly of stairs finishes and he finally reaches his destination, giving his tired lungs a moment to compose before he turns to the right, where the room where the chess committee meets is located.

“Jimin, you don’t understand! He tried to bribe me,” Taehyung whispers to the phone, making his friend chuckle. “That’s not funny. I wish I could help him in the ways his mother expects me to, but I—”

Taehyung halts.

He isn’t someone to brag about his eyesight because, well, astigmatism—but compared to the rest of his family members or to Jimin, who refuses to wear his glasses, his vision is fairly okay.

However, he doesn’t trust that much in himself, either.

And is the reason behind why, when he sees a tall man wearing a leather jacket and holding a motorcycle helmet underneath his arm leaning against the wall outside the chess committee meetings, finger scrolling through his phone screen in a boring manner, he finds his voice ushering as he asks through the line.

“He’s studying Business, right?”

Jimin hums. “I think so.”

Taehyung isn’t even sure why he asked Jimin that when Mrs. Jeon had printed a sheet with Jeongguk’s grades, words written in bold and in a bigger font at the upper part of the paper: Jeon Jeongguk — Business.

He knows for sure what Jeongguk is studying. He definitely remembers his tall, lean body, covered in mostly black clothes. He obviously can’t forget about the image of him getting out of his bike with his helmet held under his arm.

“Why is he in the Science building?” Taehyung asks, apprehensive of taking the few steps left until he reaches the room. However, it is weirder if he continues standing in the middle of the hallway. “It’s like… the farthest away from Business.”

Taehyung listens to Jimin softly giggling at the turn of events. “You should either ask him or ignore him.”

“Jimin, I don’t think you get it. He’s standing literally outside of the room I’m supposed to be in.”

Taehyung wishes he had a watch so he could tell how many minutes left he has to reach the meeting.

His friend’s laugh only intensifies, until it stops awkwardly. “My prof just arrived. I’ll call you later!”

Taehyung despises the beep that resonates into his ear once Jimin cuts it off.

Quickly, he pockets his phone after realizing there are ten minutes left until the committee begins.

He tightens his grip on the straps of his backpack as he begins making his way towards the classroom, eyes darted down on the floor in hopes of Jeongguk not noticing him. Or, if he does end up noticing him, hoping he ends up ignoring him after realizing Taehyung’s in a hurry.

But, as it always happens, nothing works in his favor.

“Taehyung?”

Comes in a soft whisper as soon as Taehyung reaches the door. 

Now, they’re standing less than two meters away from each other. Jeongguk throws his phone in the pocket of his jacket immediately after Taehyung looks up at him with big eyes, as if he hadn’t noticed Jeongguk’s presence before.

“Hey,” he acknowledges him formally. 

In his head, he believes Jeongguk’s waiting for someone else. Maybe his girlfriend, who’s in class in some of the other classrooms in the hallway. 

If that were to be true, Taehyung could simply slide into the room after greeting him.

Nonetheless,

“Are you busy?” Jeongguk asks, big, dark eyes scanning through his face not so stealthily. 

Taehyung straightens his lips, shrugging. “Kind of.”

Jeongguk nods along, muttering under his breath, “I see.”

A few seconds pass in which Jeongguk doesn’t move, and neither does Taehyung.

All they do is stare into each other’s eyes for so long that it becomes uncomfortable but for so little that it feels like not enough. For Taehyung, at least, it feels like that.

Taehyung can tell Jeongguk wants to say something. The way his tongue darts out to lick at his bottom lip a few times and the way he gulps repeatedly is enough proof of such a hunch. Yet, Jeongguk doesn’t move.

“I’m running low on time,” is what Taehyung ends up breaking the silence with. Words spoken softly as if, less than ten minutes ago, he wasn’t thinking of not wanting to be close to Jeongguk ever again. “Is there anything you need?”

Jeongguk’s eyes are bright. Very. Is what Taehyung notices after getting lost in them.

“Do you have a minute?”

He has nine. 

Nine whole minutes he’ll probably spend checking his schedule and going through his notes from the class he had earlier. Nine whole minutes he could offer Jeongguk without even thinking it through.

However, he frowns as he asks, “What for?”

Taehyung can tell Jeongguk resists the urge of scoffing, sees the hint of a roll of his eyes which is dismissed as the younger quickly counters, “Talking.”

Taehyung thought he didn’t want to be around Jeongguk ever again since yesterday’s fiasco, but there he is, nodding and walking behind Jeongguk as the guy leads the way towards a place where they won’t be bothered by people passing by.

While he doesn’t dare to lean against the railing of the wannabe-balcony because of how dirty it looks, Jeongguk supports his whole weight on his forearms, helmet now on the floor.

Jeongguk’s silence is comforting.

His presence, when there are no bratty words spoken or roll of eyes repeated over and over again, is one Taehyung finds himself weirdly reveling in.

Whether it is because staring at Jeongguk seems like something he shouldn’t be allowed to do, he doesn’t allow himself to dwell into such a thought. All he knows is that he appreciates the sight.

Eight minutes left.

“I wanted to…” Apologize. Taehyung finishes in his mind for Jeongguk after the silence stretches on for too long. Jeongguk says nothing for a few, until he turns his head to his right to glimpse into Taehyung’s eyes, a crooked smile over his lips. “You know, my mom thinks very highly of you.”

Taehyung isn’t very braggy, but he feels the need to match Jeongguk’s cockiness. 

“She has her reasons,” he declares.

Jeongguk giggles, big upper front teeth on display. “So does my dad.”

It’s strangely pleasing to be having a conversation with Jeongguk through quiet whispers in the middle of loud hallways.

“Maybe your mother threw a good word in, or two.”

Jeongguk scrunches his nose before saying, “Quite the opposite.”

Taehyung tilts his head, lips in a pout as he murmurs quietly. “What do you mean?”

“My dad’s a prof here,” Jeongguk admits, eyes straight ahead taking in the view of the green area. “You’ve been a TA for his class, too.”

As soon as Jeongguk says so, it all makes sense in Taehyung’s head.

Jeon Dongwoo, the lawyer who imparted the first law-related course he took a few years ago and who Taehyung ended up being a TA for that same course during his second year, is Jeongguk’s father.

God. How did Taehyung’s brain not dare to make a connection between the only Jeon’s he’s ever met?

“So your father was the one to spread the word,” he concludes. 

In his mind, there’s an inner voice that starts chanting: dumb, dumb, dumb. 

Honestly, Taehyung can’t even get mad at the treacherous voice, knowing it’s being honest.

Jeongguk hums, head slightly bobbing. “He was very keen on having you as my tutor, you know?” He licks his bottom lip in clear uneasiness, fiddling with his nails. Taehyung patiently waits, knowing Jeongguk wants to speak yet isn’t sure how to. “He took one of your posters home and everything,” Jeongguk snickers. Then, he spits out, “It’s—he was very proud while talking about you during dinner to my mom, saying you do this and do that and are a fucking ace and everything.”

His voice loses all softness it’d won.

It’s evident in the way he throws those words at Taehyung that he is clearly resentful about the way his father oh-so highly spoke about Taehyung.

For a second, he believes Jeongguk’s utterly jealous of him being smart.

But then, the memory of what Jeongguk said the day before hits like a slap.

I really don’t need your help.

Finding the situation very odd still, Taehyung prompts. “What does any of that have to do with me?” Suddenly, when he absorbs the image of Jeongguk choosing to ignore his question by tapping his fingers against the railing, he asks: “Why are you here? Why did you want to talk? How did you even know I was here?”

By the corner of his eye, he sees some of the chess players walk in the room, throwing a swift questioning glance over at them. In their heads, they’re probably wondering what Taehyung is doing talking with someone instead of going through his notes.

Jeongguk hastily looks to his right, where Taehyung is standing, still with the straps of his backpack held tightly between his long fingers. 

Jeongguk seems to notice there are people around, and so he retorts in a hushed, yet not soft, whisper. “Because I don’t know what the fuck am I supposed to do if you don’t show up to my house on Monday.”

Taehyung snorts. 

This guy is unbelievable. 

“Do you really think there’s any will left in me to go to your place and act cheerily, as if nothing had happened?”

There comes the demeanor change.

Jeongguk’s eyes have a special kind of glimmer in them as he glares into Taehyung’s eyes, all stiffness gone in a snap of fingers.

His voice, too, changes. Now it sounds gentler than before, softer — similar to how it sounded while speaking to his siblings. “Please, Taehyung-ah.”

“Hyung,” he quickly corrects. Jeongguk crooks an eyebrow, seeming surprised. “It’s hyung. I’m older than you.”

Jeongguk blinks twice, the left corner of his mouth betraying him as it curves up. Jeongguk straightens his lips, full smugness floating in his features when he speaks again, pronouncing each word beautifully. “Alright, hyung.”

Taehyung truthfully has no idea how he’ll deal with him.

 

—

 

On Monday, Taehyung learns that the Jeon family penthouse has two living areas.

The main one, which is located right by the dining room. 

Tall walls and huge windows that make Taehyung feel insignificant as he looks out at the city before him, a very big couch in gray tones that could easily accommodate more than one extended family. 

The second living area is on the second floor. 

Taehyung wasn’t sure if he was allowed to walk upstairs. After all, Mrs. Jeon had only shown him certain areas such as the terrace, the dining and the living room. 

Nevertheless, as soon as the door of the penthouse opened on Monday morning and he was welcomed by Jeongguk, who was wearing athletic clothes, Taehyung realized it was going to be troublesome.

“The other room is better,” Jeongguk had protested after Taehyung expressed his uncertainty about stepping into ‘forbidden territory’. “No one’s home. No one will figure you were upstairs.”

Just like everything that has happened between them in the past few days, Taehyung found himself allowing Jeongguk’s puppy eyes to convince him of things he wasn’t fully sure of.

And so he was warily walking behind Jeongguk, keeping his eyes up in the weird way his locks curled at the back of his head instead of roaming down his broad shoulders and petite waist, accentuated by the fitted shirt he wore.

For a second, Taehyung wondered if the heat he felt throughout his body was because of the underfloor heating or because of something else.

The second living area seemed more like a study room.

It seemed cozier than the rest of the penthouse, probably because it was a smaller room and was less minimalist: with filled bookcases and paper sheets thrown over the wide desk, a blanket laying at the feet of the couch and a display of controllers which handled the devices by the TV, such as gaming consoles and radio devices.

The walls were far from empty, filled with framed drawings which Taehyung supposed were from the kids’ and a few diplomas displayed proudly, along a small clock right above the door. 

The only window, which was small, was covered by a black-out curtain which was essential in making the bright yellowish LED lights be the only source of lighting.

When the door closed behind his back, Taehyung felt shivers. 

His eyes roamed through each corner of the room, trying to see if there were any security cameras that would reveal to Jeongguk’s parents that Taehyung stepped into forbidden territory.

Jeongguk seemed to catch up on his worry, a toothy grin stretching over his mouth. “Relax, Taehyung-ah,” he mumbles. His fingers brush against the back of Taehyung’s neck for less than a second before he’s quickly pulling them back, fists at each side of his hips. Jeongguk adds, “It’s better than downstairs, see?”

All he can do is nod, gulping down. 

It still feels like he’s somewhere he shouldn’t be with someone he shouldn’t be with. 

“Your dad’s office, I presume?”

The youngest shrugs. “Kind of. I mean, he keeps most of his things here — books and stuff, but my mom also works from home sometimes, hence there’s two computers,” Jeongguk walks along the desk, fingertips rubbing the surface. “I also moved one of my old consoles here so my siblings can use it without barging into my room when I’m busy.”

Busy doing what? Taehyung’s inner voice demands an answer.

Taehyung wishes he could slap himself without looking stupid.

“That’s… very kind of you.”

Jeongguk grins coyly. “I’m an awesome older brother.”

He can tell. Those kids, from what Taehyung has seen once, absolutely adore him. There’s no way he’s a bad brother if the way the kids beam at him is as if he’d hung up the moon for them.

“Do you?” Jeongguk asks. There’s obvious hesitance as his eyes dart up to meet Taehyung’s brown ones. Taehyung tilts his head, not understanding what he’s referring to. “Are you an only child?”

Taehyung can’t help the way he smiles. “Ah, nope. I have younger siblings, too.”

The hint of a smile betrays Jeongguk. “Do you live with them?”

“No. They’re with my parents back in Daegu. I—” Taehyung comes to a stop as he barely manages to hear the ticking of a clock. Oh. Right. They should not be talking about their lives. “Should we… begin? You know…” Awkwardly, he scratches the back of his neck. “The tutoring?”

At that, Jeongguk rolls his eyes, clearly not liking the idea.

Surprisingly for Taehyung, Jeongguk doesn’t try to prevent the session from beginning.

Instead, Jeongguk pulls one of the swivel chairs back and plops down on it, a creaking sound rumbling in Taehyung’s ears. 

Just when his fingers are about to curl around the headrest of the other seemingly expensive swivel chair to pull it back, Jeongguk softly pushes it with the tip of his right foot. Taehyung feels stupid as he mumbles thank you under his breath as he sits, cheeks warming with something he doesn’t feel like acknowledging. 

He begins taking out of his backpack the same paper sheet from the last time and his old laptop while Jeongguk spins around. 

Taehyung scratches some of the glued-on stickers with his nails, utterly embarrassed at Jeongguk having the chance to notice he has drawings of fairly questionable TV shows. 

Thankfully, the younger guy is busy spinning around, giving him enough time to open his laptop and easily display some of the documents with the topics Jeongguk seems to be struggling with.

By the corner of his eye, he catches the moment Jeongguk holds onto the edge of the desk to stop spinning. Also, he uses that as leverage to slide closer to Taehyung, face getting closer to the screen so he can roam his eyes through what’s in it.

If only Taehyung were to slightly move less than ten centimeters, their fingers would brush—

“When I tell you I don’t need any tutoring, I mean it,” Jeongguk assures with clear boredom.

Taehyung juts his lips out, eyes scanning through the material in front of his eyes. 

With his index finger on the touchpad, he switches from one document to another. He squints his eyes until he finds what he’s looking for, signaling it with his finger as he turns to glare over at Jeongguk. “Do you know the answer to this, then?”

Jeongguk frowns as he reads, lips moving but no sound coming out from within. Cute.

He scoffs, smirking while looking back at Taehyung. “I mean, I’d have to actually resolve it, you know? I can’t just magically know the revenues by staring at a bunch of words.”

Taehyung is astonished at the fact they’ve gone as far as Jeongguk being actually interested in what Taehyung brought to even dare to take a look at it and acknowledge what’s being required of him.

He thinks of it as an achievement. Will probably cry about it on his way home.

“Can you solve it for me, then?”

Now, if that works, Taehyung doesn’t think he’ll manage to control his tears from spilling in that same moment.

Silence reigns in the small room, making it obvious just how calm their breathings are as they stare into each other’s eyes, refraining from looking into the paper sheets Taehyung brought or into the screen of his laptop.

Taehyung hates himself for coming to such a realization, but Jeongguk’s eyes seem to hold a whole galaxy within, with thousands of bright stars and perfect constellations like the ones only astronomers discover.

“You’re very pretty,” is what Jeongguk ends up mumbling. 

Taehyung feels the blood rush to his cheeks. He narrows his eyes, trying to decipher if he truly heard correctly, mouth softly falling agape before whispering, “What?”

Jeongguk wears a cocky yet soft smile on his pink lips, almost as if those words weren’t as meaningful to him as they are to Taehyung. “Have you ever been told how beautiful you are?”

“I—You can’t just say that,” Taehyung pesters quietly. “What— stop looking at me like that!”

Taehyung turns, fingers foolishly fiddling with the paper sheets while he tries to ignore just how heavy Jeongguk’s stare feels on him.

“Like what?”

Quietly, he mumbles the words that feel strange against his tongue. “Like you want to eat me.”

Something happens in the air when Jeongguk challenges by saying, “What if I want exactly that?”

Taehyung questions if, somehow, the AC got hotter or if there’s a lack of air flow provoked by the closed window which makes him feel breathless and warm all over underneath his clothes. Jesus. 

He should’ve taken off his hoodie as soon as he walked in. That way, he wouldn’t feel so flushed. Probably.

Waving the papers against his face in hopes of cooling off, he mutters abashedly. “You are crazy.”

In his voice, there’s obvious joy present. “Maybe.”

Taehyung finds himself wishing to see the amused smile over Jeongguk’s lips, knowing it’s there, but he’s very aware of how embarrassing it would feel for himself to realize just how unaffected Jeongguk is while he, instead, is blushing like a foolish teenager.

“Can you please solve the exercise? I thought you’d gotten the memo that I’m getting paid to teach you.”

Jeongguk lets out a quiet huff. 

Taehyung notices the way his finger moves over the mousepad of his laptop, scrolling through the open document, eyes skimming over the information that’s given.

After a couple of seconds, Jeongguk leans back, the swiveling chair creaking under his weight. “Let’s say I resolve it perfectly,” he begins. Taehyung hums attentively, still not daring to gaze at him. “What do I get as a reward?”

Taehyung blanks. “Uh. I’m sorry, what?”

The younger man doesn’t even falter as he asks, “Would a kiss be too much to ask for?”

“I— Jeongguk-ssi…”

“You got all flustered,” Jeongguk sighs. “You’re cute, hyung.”

Taehyung gulps. 

Something about Jeongguk only bringing himself to call him hyung while complimenting him makes Taehyung feel all giddy inside. He doesn’t dare to call it ‘butterflies’, hoping it’s just what being on an empty stomach is called. 

“We have an hour and a half left,” is what he says after he feels composed enough for his voice to not shatter.

Jeongguk grabs a pencil from the penholder behind one of the computer screens, snatching one of the paper sheets Taehyung had previously left on the desk. Taehyung stares in complete awe as Jeongguk quickly begins doing what he was asked to do.

Before Jeongguk fully focuses, though, he glares at Taehyung. “I’ll finish it in half an hour, Taehyung-ah,” he promises with the wink of an eye, which only hastens Taehyung’s frantic heartbeats.

With crimson red coloring the apples of his cheeks, he tries to put his whole attention in Jeongguk’s progress, hoping to notice any slight mistake that could screw the whole thing up—which is what he should be doing as his tutor. 

Somehow, though, it seems impossible.

Everything is distracting. 

The way Jeongguk grips the pencil as he scribbles down, how his tongue gets trapped between his pink lips as he focuses on properly categorizing the assets, the way his nose scrunches as he erases a number after miscalculating, how he mouths the words in complete silence while transferring them to the paper sheet, the way he softly calls Taehyung-ah when he needs assurance that he’s doing things correctly—

Taehyung is screwed.

 

—

 

to: Jimin

How flirty is Jeongguk from 1 to 10?

Read at 12:10

 

from: Jimin

11

Don’t mind him.

Sent at 12:13

 

—

 

Over a milkshake at Jimin’s workplace during his friend’s break later that day, Taehyung asks. “Is he really that bad?”

Jimin’s cup has a green thingy—matcha, which Taehyung believes tastes like grass. Yet, his friend sips from it with such enthusiasm in his face it’s obvious he loves it. Taehyung’s milkshake is simpler: strawberry-flavored.

Jimin had taken a picture of their distinctly different drinks to post it on his social media, tagging Taehyung’s almost dead account and adding a white heart. When Taehyung asked why, Jimin said it looked pleasing to the sight.

Just a few minutes later, Taehyung’s phone screen had lit up with a notification that had made him almost choke on his milkshake. 

jjeongguk_97 has requested to follow you.

Taehyung had thought it was awkward. 

Because while Jeongguk’s profile was obviously his, name written in bold letters, with a black and white selfie as his profile picture and over seven hundred followers that seemed to thirst over his mirror selfies and such, Taehyung’s account barely gave any signs about who it belonged to. 

It was private, with less than forty followers, which were mainly cousins and some of the few real friends he’s made over his life—people he’d given his handle to, because his name was nowhere to be found on his page. His profile picture wasn’t even a picture of himself, but one of the characters from his favorite anime. There were random posts he’d made over the years, such as nice flowers and some random pictures of himself either taken with his front camera or by his friends.

Everything felt stranger after he noticed Jeongguk only followed fifty accounts.

Why would Jeongguk choose to follow him out of anyone else?

Taehyung settled on the thought about Jeongguk either mistaking him for someone else or pressing on the wrong button. Because, truthfully, what could be so special about him for someone like Jeongguk to want to keep up?

Jimin’s answer takes a few seconds to come, but it does right after he takes a bite out of the vanilla cookie he’d gotten as his free snack. “If you don’t take him seriously, then, no.”

Unconsciously, he pouts. 

Before he can even retort, Jimin gasps loudly, uttering to ask in a whisper, “Do you like him?”

There are some crumbs surrounding his plump lips, and Taehyung slides a napkin over to Jimin. Taehyung shakes his head as an answer, quite disappointed and angry at his dumb emotions. “No, I couldn’t. I don’t know him.” 

“But you find him hot, right? Jeongguk-ah is very—”

Jimin works at a coffee shop very close to their university. Thankfully, the shop is quite empty at this time, most students probably still not finding an appetite to have a snack so close to lunch, so no one listens to Jeongguk’s name being called.

God. Taehyung feels like a teenager, afraid of people hearing him talk about his crush—

Oh.

He blushes furiously as his brain dares to associate Jeongguk with a crush.

“Jimin,” he fiddles with a napkin, looking down at his fingers as his glasses begin to slide off. 

His friend giggles softly. “You do find him hot. Oh, my—”

At the second mention of finding Jeongguk hot, Taehyung squirms.

The image of Jeongguk on his bike comes to mind, disheveled hair as he took off his helmet, as well as him wearing the compression shirt he was wearing earlier. His shoulders so wide while his waist seemed small, muscles visible from over the fabric as he stretched, grunting quietly. 

For some reason, he feels warmth spreading all over. Not just on the highs of his cheeks, but also on his chest and the tips of his ears.

He finds Jeongguk stupidly hot.

After he composes by taking a long sip of his strawberry milkshake, he gazes into Jimin’s eyes. “Was he— did he ever flirt with you?”

A laugh so loud is heard that some of Jimin’s co workers turn to stare at them, interested in what was so funny. “Thank god no,” Jimin declares. “I would’ve kicked him if he’d done so.”

Taehyung is aware he shouldn’t, but he feels a certain relief in knowing so.

Out of mere curiosity, he asks. “Do you think he’s like that with everyone?”

“I know he’s like that. Remember I told you we met at a party?” Taehyung nods, giving his full attention to his friend’s voice. “That night I saw him flirting with everyone. He even disappeared into a bathroom with a girl. Or was it with two?” Jimin squints his eyes as he tries to remember. He shakes his head as he shrugs. “Whatever. To answer your question: yes. That’s the way he is.”

Taehyung makes a mental note right there: to not give too much to anything Jeongguk tells him.

Still, he can’t lie and say it doesn’t make something hurt inside of his body. 

With a way too fabricated smile stretching over his lips, he humorlessly says: “He’s just playing with me then, right?”

“Ah, Taehyung-ah,” Jimin laments, fingers wrapping around Taehyung’s wrist, thumb rubbing soothing circles over his pulse. He must notice how Taehyung tries to ease himself by stirring his milkshake with the straw, fingers almost tearing apart the paper straw by the strength with which he grabs it. Jimin must also feel a little guilty, because he ends up murmuring, voice filled with hope, “Who knows? Maybe he’s really interested!”

Taehyung giggles bitterly. “I doubt so.”

The conversation dies there.

Silence settles for a moment, in which, although other conversations surrounding them are loud, Taehyung finds himself only listening to the unwanted thoughts running through his head.

Next thing he knows, Jimin’s break is over, and they’re parting ways, and he’s making his way towards his next class, feeling a little heartbroken and way more heavier than he’s ever felt before.

 

—

 

Thursday’s meeting feels weird. 

Beginning with the fact that Taehyung had little, close to none, desire of meeting Jeongguk that day. The conversation he had with Jimin the other day still very present in his mind, playing tricks with him.

Such a thing caused him to be nonchalant about everything Jeongguk asked. Most of his questions were answered with monosyllables. Yes, fine, okay. There were no intentions in his part of giving Jeongguk any chance to say some of the things that easily make Taehyung blush.

All he wanted was to be done with their meeting as soon as possible.

It’s weirder when he notices that, for once, Jeongguk doesn’t look in the mood of I don’t need your help. Instead of rolling his eyes after Taehyung explained which topics they were going to be covering that day, Jeongguk actually nodded along.

And, even with how strange it feels, Taehyung knows it’s correct.

There should’ve never been any slight flirting from Jeongguk’s part or flushed cheeks from Taehyung as a response. Nor should there have been eyes roaming over at his broad back or getting distracted by little things like the way his name sounded coming from Jeongguk’s lips whenever he needed help. 

It’s right, but it’s never felt more wrong.

This time, even if something within him tries, Taehyung’s eyes stay on the paper sheet Jeongguk’s filling, alert of any mistake the younger may make.

Jeongguk takes a slight break after continuous minutes, dropping the pencil and rolling his wrist as he leans back. A quiet ngh comes from his lips as a sign of being tired of writing. 

Taehyung takes Jeongguk’s pause as a chance to focus on some of his own courses, checking when his next test will take place. 

By the corner of his eye, he notices Jeongguk drinking some of the juice the maid brought over. Taehyung truly tries his best on focusing on the dates he’s marking on his schedule instead of in the way Jeongguk’s throat bobs as he gulps.

Right as the glass clinks as it’s placed on the table, Jeongguk breaks the uncomfortable silence between them. “You didn’t accept my follow request,” he mentions in a whisper.

Taehyung’s lips gape slightly, surprised. “I did not,” he mumbles.

The huge doors of the dining room are closed for two reasons. One, so Jeongguk’s siblings don’t interrupt them when they arrive from their swimming lessons; and two, so the sound of the maid vacuuming doesn’t bother them.

Still, even knowing that probably whoever’s at home can’t listen to them because the penthouse is way too big and the vacuum is loud, it feels like what they’re talking about is forbidden.

“Why?”

Taehyung can feel Jeongguk’s eyes zeroing in his face. He ignores them, against his will, somehow. 

Now simply doodling in his notebook, he asks back. “Did you know it was me?”

“Yeah,” Jeongguk quickly says. 

As the vacuuming sound feels closer, Taehyung lowers the volume of his voice even more. “How, though?”

“Jimin-ssi posted a picture and tagged the account,” Jeongguk states. Seems like, even if outside the dining room it’s loud, the quiet bubble they’re in can’t be broken, and they can listen to each other properly without raising their voices. “I know you’re friends with him, and your hands were in the back of the photo too, so it was obvious it was you. For me, at least.”

Taehyung feels hollow. 

His voice comes breathy when he asks, “My hands?” 

Taehyung’s eyes fall upon his fists, roaming over the crook of his fingers, looking over at his nails—he tries to guess what’s so special about them, what makes them recognizable.  

“Mhm,” Jeongguk agrees in a hum. Taehyung glimpses at him with confusion painted over his face, Jeongguk’s bright eyes staring right back at him as he quietly says, “They’re pretty. I’ve noticed.”

His hands fall over his lap beneath the table, suddenly coy. How long did Jeongguk spend looking over at his fingers to be able to recognize them through a photo when they weren’t even in the spotlight?

Taehyung’s heartbeats go crazier.

Relax. He chants, hoping his organs listen to him. Calm down. 

“But…” his throat feels awkwardly dry. “You wanted to follow me?”

“It wasn’t a mistake, Taehyung-ah,” he confesses. The way Jeongguk frowns while shaking his head seems gentle, very honest. “I wanted to. I want to, still — but you… denied it. My follow request.” The way he licks his lips is tantalizing enough for Taehyung to need to shake the thoughts that appear in his mind away. Jeongguk asks in a pout, “Why?”

An ugly chuckle escapes his mouth. “It’s boring. I don’t post interesting stuff. Just my life.”

“I don’t care,” Jeongguk rushes to say. Taehyung gulps down, hating the way something twists inside of his stomach. “Wanna see what your life’s like, hyung.”

That same evening, Taehyung accepts Jeongguk’s second follow request with a timid smile over his lips.

 

—

 

Over the following couple of weeks, Jeongguk surprisingly puts some effort into making sure Taehyung’s time doesn't go to waste. 

Every Monday morning and Thursday evening, Jeongguk is the one to open up the door for him instead of the maid. Jeongguk offers him a warm cup of hot chocolate when it’s cold, already aware of Taehyung not enjoying coffee; and smiles cutely whenever the woman brings a tray with strawberries. 

Perhaps, it’s a reach, but Taehyung likes to believe Jeongguk asks her for such a healthy snack after Taehyung told him in a rush it was his favorite fruit, not expecting strawberries to be in the tray along with green grapes every single time after that.

Those two days of the week that they find themselves sitting with books, paper sheets spread over the table and open computers surrounding them for two hours feel like paid time off for Taehyung. 

Honestly, each time he understands more what Jeongguk meant.

Jeongguk is smart. Very. The kind of smartness that makes him even sexier in Taehyung’s eyes. He knows everything yet doesn’t flaunt it. All he seems to need is a little push, some confidence that assures him he’s right. 

Said confidence he seems to find in Taehyung.

Taehyung-ah, is this right? Taehyung-ah, this number seems a little off… Taehyung-ah, check this, please!

During their meetings, Taehyung doesn’t even need to have his eyes stuck on Jeongguk’s movements all the time because the younger one tends to get shy, which is astonishing. Jeon Jeongguk getting coy about being watched? Sounds like a joke.

And so, while Jeongguk is busy going through the accounting work Taehyung brings, Taehyung can focus on his own studies. He goes through his lectures, grades some papers of the class he’s a TA for this semester, and gets some stuff ready for the few other people he tutors.

When his brain gets tired of the new information before his eyes, it wanders to dangerous places, such as how nice it would feel to have study dates with Jeongguk if they were to be just like that.

Silence around them except for the comfortable sound of the pencil scribbling and Jeongguk’s quiet murmurs as he reads what he’s writing, stolen glances that make Jeongguk grin cockily whenever he catches Taehyung’s eyes on him, shocks of electricity rushing through his body when they reach for a snack from the tray at the same time and their fingers brush, talking quietly during their breaks about what each is doing. 

Taehyung believes it would be nice.

It’s a fantasy of him, though, because Jeongguk isn’t like that.

Jeongguk hates everything related to studying, likes to party until the sun rises in the horizon, and doesn’t seem capable of settling down, going from bed to bed during weekends and making different pretty girls flutter their eyelashes at him during the day.

Or that’s what Taehyung sees.

Jeongguk enjoys posting stuff only a guy who knows is hot would post on social media, such as sweaty selfies taken at the gym and pictures of him leaning against his bike, replying to the comments he gets with flirtatious remarks.

Nice ride, a girl with her name as her handle and a pouting selfie as her profile picture had commented.

To which Jeongguk had replied: I’m even better ;)

Jeongguk also takes joy in drinking as many shots as one would think it’s sane, lips moist and some drops falling down his chin. Body shots, as well—or wasn’t it an abdomen, what Taehyung had seen in the story Jeongguk had reposted? 

Either way, he was wild. Doing things Taehyung would never think of doing himself. Posting pictures of sunrise Taehyung was sure he didn’t wake up early to see but pulled an all nighter for, while Taehyung never dared to pull all nighters. Not even a day before final exams, having studied weeks ahead.

Their lives are different. While his seems calm, Jeongguk lives quickly — almost as if he was afraid of time running out, doing as much as he can while he is able to.

Riding his bike with his black helmet, not attending most of his classes, partying until the sky turns light blue and flirting with girls he seems to take to bed afterwards.

Typical bad boy stereotype, the kind Taehyung didn’t believe were real and were just taken out of cliche movies.

But Jeongguk also enjoys liking posts from the weird smart guy who tutors him, even if they’re far down in his profile, taking more than a few scrolls to reach. He even dares commenting on the first post, which is a dumb selfie from around four years ago he’d taken grunting at a superhero figurine. Cute <3

Would it be too far-headed if Taehyung said Jeongguk enjoyed being with him?

Those minutes while Taehyung packed up his stuff and Jeongguk looked at him with puppy eyes had to mean something. Or those times Jeongguk delayed starting their tutoring meetings by just trying to chat with Taehyung, asking what he ate for lunch or if he had a pet back in Daegu, looking, in some way or another, to stir up a conversation. 

Jeongguk wanted to get to know Taehyung, didn’t he? Certainly, Taehyung couldn’t be as delusional and be imagining things. Right?

There also seemed to be a certain fondness in the way he calls him Taehyung-ah when he wants his work to be reviewed or hyung when he says something that makes Taehyung blush. 

Are you aware of how pretty you look today, hyung? You’re so smart, hyung. This strawberry is as sweet as you, hyung!

But he doesn’t seem to mind Taehyung’s comment on his posts, ignoring them gracefully. Perhaps, it’s not the public he’s aiming for. Taehyung is not a pretty girl or a friend he drinks with on weekends. What would people think if Jeongguk replied to someone like him?

Nonetheless, Jeongguk does send him private messages. 

Forwarding pictures of puppies with a ‘looks like you’ beneath that always puts a smile on Taehyung's face, or sending selfies when he makes it to class in time, writing beneath ‘hope hyung is proud’, or late at night, while Taehyung’s busy doing school related stuff and his phone buzzes and he leaves behind everything just to check, knowing there’s only a certain someone that dares to text him after midnight.

 

jjeongguk_97: Good night, hyung :)

 

—

 

Jeongguk has a very important exam on Friday morning, one he seems wanting to ace to lift a weight off his shoulders.

It’s the reason why, on Thursday, Taehyung has been at the Jeon family penthouse for more than the two hours he’s scheduled. Mrs. Jeon had been clear in reminding him he’d be paid more due his overstay.

The sky isn’t blue anymore, but dark. The huge hanging light had to be lit in order for them to continue going through every little topic that will be part of Jeongguk’s exam. 

Taehyung wanted nothing less but Jeongguk being proud of himself, and it’s another reason behind him staying instead of leaving.

Outside, the rain pours horribly, some thunder can even be heard from time to time. Those make Taehyung flinch, still not accustomed to them feeling as loud as they feel when you’re high in the sky. Each time Jeongguk forgets about the sheets in front of him to steal a glimpse at him with furrowed brows, even asking, “Are you okay?”

Embarrassed, Taehyung nodded.

When enough time has passed and Jeongguk groans, complaining about feeling like his head is about to explode, Taehyung takes it as his cue to finally leave.

The clock signals it’s eight thirty.

After having put all his stuff on his backpack, he looks over at Jeongguk, who’s biting on his bottom lip. “Good luck tomorrow,” Taehyung says with a soft smile. “You have nothing to be worried about, you know?”

Jeongguk hisses. “We’ll see.”

Taehyung makes his way through the hallway with his heavy backpack between his arms.

At the door, Mrs. Jeon is standing with Taehyung’s jacket held between her dainty fingers. Jeongguk walks over to her side.

It’s relatively awkward to be surrounded by silence as they have their eyes on him as he gets ready to leave, dropping his backpack on the floor to take his jacket from Mrs. Jeon. Immediately as her hands are empty, she grabs her phone from the pocket of her sweater.

“I’ll call you a taxi,” Mrs. Jeon says, holding the device up in the air.

“No, no,” Taehyung quickens to say, passing his arm through the armhole of his jacket in a hastily manner. “I’ll take the bus home.”

Jeongguk gnaws on his bottom lip, arms crossed over his chest with a disapproval frown in between his brows. “Buses take longer to pass when it’s raining,” he reasons.

Taehyung knows he’s right. With an ashamed smile over his lips, he quietly murmurs, full of shame. “A taxi will be too expensive.”

Mrs. Jeon chuckles funnily, bright teeth in sight. “Ah, Taehyung-ah, don’t worry! I’ll pay for it,” she kindly says. 

He knows she means well, but there’s a dumb voice in Taehyung’s mind that makes him believe they’re pitying him.

“I can’t bring myself to accept that.”

Jeongguk clicks his tongue, shaking his head in disbelief before he’s saying, “I’d drive you but Dad hasn’t arrived yet and Mom’s car broke down, and I suppose you’re not up for a bike ride.”

Taehyung wonders if Jeongguk would keep him safe were he to be driving Taehyung home.

Would Taehyung be allowed to wrap his arms around his tiny waist for leverage and lean his head against his back during red lights?

He sighs. Forget about it. “Don’t worry about me. It’s okay! I’m not afraid of getting wet,” he jokes, the fly of his worn jacket between his thumb and index as he zips it up. “Also, bus rides are nostalgic when it’s raining.”

Seems like his words persuaded Jeongguk’s mother, because she, after taking a deep breath, pockets her phone and simply stands there looking over at Taehyung, who puts the hood up in his head before grabbing his backpack.

Jeongguk, too, glares over at him with a clear worry. 

“What if you stay over?” Jeongguk ends up saying right as Taehyung’s hands are looking for his gloves in the pockets of his jacket. “We could also… study some more? For my test.”

“Oh, how did I not come up with that?” Mrs. Jeon declares. “That’s a fantastic idea!”

Taehyung gulps. “I—”

He wishes he could ask Jeongguk what he means by studying more, taking into consideration he had gotten exhausted from studying.

“You can stay, right?” Jeongguk asks quietly, glaring at Taehyung with a softening expression in his face, almost as if it was only the both of them and his mother wasn’t literally standing beside him. “I don’t want you to risk getting sick, hyung.”

Taehyung flicks his eyes over at Jeongguk’s mother, worried about her face showcasing certain disapproval. Instead, she seems not to mind, hands uttering to lift Taehyung’s backpack from the floor.

“There’s a guest room upstairs, has a nice bed and clean sheets,” she says, giving Jeongguk the backpack, who receives it immediately. Her words come in a rush, but somehow, Taehyung understands every single one. “The rain is supposed to stop sometime after midnight, so you could go back to your house tomorrow after having breakfast. Unless you have classes early? If you do, either Jeongguk or my husband can drive you.”

Jeongguk’s eyes are on the floor, bangs covering most of his glimmering eyes, apples of his cheeks very prominent as the corners of his lips curve upwards. 

Taehyung lets out a quiet sigh. “I really don’t wanna be a bother.”

“You won’t!” Mrs. Jeon affirms. Then, her round eyes fall upon her son. “Show him where he’ll stay the night, yeah? I’ll call your dad so he can get more food.”

As those words leave her mouth, she begins walking towards the kitchen, which Taehyung now knows it’s as modern-looking as the rest of the house. Though, it’s homey, in a way: with family portraits on the fridge with magnets the family’s gotten on their holidays.

All the Monday mornings in which he accompanied Jeongguk while the youngest prepared warm drinks for them are enough for Taehyung to acknowledge such a thing.

They stay there for a while until Jeongguk teases him. “You’ll sweat if you keep that thing on for any longer, Taehyung-ah,” pointing at his jacket. 

Taehyung takes it off quickly, hanging it in the wardrobe by the door, leaving his shoes right beneath before hastily following Jeongguk’s footsteps that lead them to the second floor. 

Instead of turning right as they’ve done the few times Jeongguk has chosen to have their meetings in the study, Taehyung has to turn to the other side. The hallway has only four doors, and Jeongguk stands in front of the first one to their left. 

“It’s kind of… small,” Jeongguk announces as he twists the doorknob, allowing Taehyung to walk in first, which is gentle enough for Taehyung to feel his heartbeats quickening inside his chest. “But it’s comfortable.”

Taehyung’s eyes widen at Jeongguk’s definition of small.

Frankly, this room is even bigger than the tiny studio apartment he rents.

However, by the looks of how huge the other rooms in the penthouse are, it is obviously small. 

Beneath his feet, there’s carpet, all throughout the floor, which makes the room feel cozier. The walls are painted in a light-gray tone, matching with the teal curtains that cover the tall window. The bed in the middle of the room is big enough Taehyung is sure he’ll only use a third of it. He giggles as he notices there’s even a couch.

Turning to look at Jeongguk, he asks. “Why would a guest need a couch?”

“I’m not sure, but—why not?” Jeongguk shrugs, carefully leaving Taehyung’s backpack over the desk by the wall. Taehyung’s question is at the tip of his tongue, but Jeongguk beats him to it. “This desk only works as a surface for leaving stuff, really. You could give it its proper use, if you want to.”

“Maybe I will,” he says over a smirk. He contemplates how soft the mattress looks, wondering how adequate it would be to throw his body over it while Jeongguk’s standing just a few steps away. Taehyung ends up slowly sitting on the edge, glaring at the youngest man, who’s staring back in complete silence. “Do you want to go over your notes once again?”

Jeongguk pulls back the chair from the desk with a certain calmness, soft-spoken as he asks, “Do you think it’s necessary?”

Taehyung shakes his head. “I think you’re more than ready for your test,” he murmurs. It pulls a coy smile over Jeongguk’s lips. “But if you feel like it’s never enough knowledge, then we could—”

“No. I trust your judgement, Taehyung-ah.”

Taehyung fiddles with the expensive bedding underneath his body, glancing down for any loose threads—there’s none—instead of into Jeongguk’s intense stare. “Is there a reason for you not calling me ‘hyung’?”

“Not really.”

Jeongguk’s answer makes him beam foolishly. With a smirk on his lips, he teases, “You’re very rude, aren’t you?”

It’s clear in the way Jeongguk’s breathy laugh fills the air that he doesn’t take it to heart. “Sometimes,” he retorts softly. “I don’t like being rude to you, though. I try not to be, at least.”

“You’re trying now, because when we first met you were very rude.”

Jeongguk snorts, shame in his face as he looks everywhere but at Taehyung’s way. “The last thing I wanted was to have a tutor. Guess I was hoping you wouldn’t put up with me but, well, here we are,” he giggles.

“Are you mad I survived your arrogance?”

It kind of sounds funny, even he can’t help but let out a short chuckle, but it’s a very honest question. One that has his stomach twisting into uneasy knots and his throat drying just as he imagines what Jeongguk’s answer will be.

Jeongguk seems surprised by Taehyung’s question, definitely not expecting to be asked such a thing. His doe eyes are bigger than ever as they interlock with Taehyung’s after a second. 

Taehyung notices Jeongguk fidgets with his fingers, toying with the tiny beads that hang from the threaded bracelet around his wrist afterwards, as if he couldn’t help but be in constant movement. Taehyung wonders if he feels some uneasiness, too. 

The silence prevails for longer than Taehyung enjoys, and before he can even apologize for asking such nonsense or say something else to make the awkward present in the air vanish, Jeongguk clears his throat.

It’s in a soft whisper that he confesses, “I think it’s the best thing that’s happened to me, hyung.”

Oh.

Taehyung’s world stops spinning for a while.

He tries to make sense of Jeongguk’s words, although clearer words have never been spoken before.

It couldn’t mean anything else but that — the best thing that’s happened to Jeongguk. 

Still, it’s not enough. 

It never seems to be when it’s about Jeongguk.

“What do you mean?”

Taehyung focuses on the way Jeongguk’s lips part, how the tip of his tongue comes out to brush against his lower lip before he’s sucking his lips in, as if he was either trying to make the words come out or lock them behind a safe Taehyung doesn’t know the code.

He notices how he gulps, throat moving as it goes down; seemingly trying to make something go away.

And Taehyung takes him in like that, so pure and coy, hidden under layers of what looks like the most soft fabric to the touch to ever exist, breathing calmly just a few meters away from him, glistening eyes evading Taehyung’s brown orbs as if he was afraid of being seen—

But Taehyung sees him. 

And he realizes Jeongguk is not only a ‘bad guy’ per se, uninterested in his studies or just hot. Jeongguk is sweet, he’s smart, and he’s beautiful.

And Taehyung likes him so much it’s almost painful.

“I—” Jeongguk’s voice fills the quietness surrounding them. “I think I—”

A closing door resonates through the penthouse, startling them both. 

In the hallway, two pairs of feet can be heard running, high-pitched voices hollering happily, “Dad!”

Jeongguk lets out a sigh — and it’s a short, almost pitiful sound, but Taehyung is quick in identifying it as the end of their conversation. 

Especially when Jeongguk forgets the topic in the blink of an eye, saying, “This could either be the best dinner of your life or the worst. There’s no middle ground,” with a lopsided grin on his mouth.

He stands up after Jeongguk does, walking before him when Jeongguk signals him to do so. Taehyung believes he’s crazy when he feels the ghost of a handprint against his lower back.

“I hope it’s the best,” he whispers, slightly glaring over at Jeongguk.

The youngest scoffs. “Trust me, I hope so as well.”

As they reach downstairs, Taehyung feels like an intruder.

Mr. Jeon, his law professor a couple of years ago, is hugging his young children while smiling at his wife, who manages to, somehow, snatch away the wet umbrella and her husband’s briefcase.

Taehyung definitely shouldn’t be there—

“Ah, if it isn’t the smartest student I’ve ever had!” Mr. Jeon says just as his eyes fall over him when he’s in sight, Jeongguk walking past the man and straight into the dining room. Taehyung sulks, confused, but there isn’t any moment for him to wonder because Mr. Jeon is asking, “How are you, Taehyung-ah?”

Politely, he bows. “I’m… great! Sorry for bothering you by being here.”

The man grimaces. “Don’t you dare worry. My wife told me what happened, and it’s okay. You’re more than welcome!”

Mrs. Jeon sends the kids to the bathroom so they wash their hands after putting her husband’s stuff away. “Let’s go eat before the food grows cold,” patting her husband’s back. “Come, Taehyung-ah!”

And Taehyung, already accustomed to doing things he’s asked to do in the Jeon household, follows behind them.

Awkwardly, he feels like he’s their fourth child, by the way he’s being treated. If he’s sent away to wash his hands, it wouldn’t be a surprise.

Table’s ready when they arrive, Jeongguk putting down the napkins by the plates.

At the dinner table, Taehyung sits down by Jeongguk’s side, who has his youngest brother on his other side. Mr. Jeon sits at the armchair Jeongguk tends to sit whenever they’re studying, and Mrs. Jeon sits by his side, in front of Jeongguk’s brother and with the little girl by her side.

For some reason, things go awkwardly well. 

Taehyung was expecting to be uncomfortable throughout dinner after Jeongguk’s words, maybe worried about intruding or about eating more than he’s supposed to.

Surprisingly enough, he doesn’t need to worry because it feels as if he was truly part of the family—talking with Jeongguk’s siblings as if they’ve known him their whole life and laughing at some jokes that are thrown by the married couple.

While Jeongguk engages in conversation with his younger brother, encouraging him to eat his food so he gets all the nutrients to grow healthy, Taehyung wonders why Jeongguk could’ve meant by saying dinner was either going to be amazing or terrible. 

And it is almost as if the forces above knew he had unanswered questions, because amidst a silence, Mr. Jeon cleans his throat. “So, Taehyung-ah.”

Thankfully, he was already finished with his food long ago, so there was no way he would’ve choked on a piece of meat at the mention of his name.

His eyes interlock with Mr. Jeon out of respect. “Yes?”

“Is Jeongguk giving you much trouble?” Mr. Jeon says while munching on his food. Taehyung wishes he could gag as he sees literal pieces of food as he talks. “I’m sure he is, but I want to know how much.”

By the corner of his eye, he notices the way Jeongguk gnaws on his bottom lip as he picks at a piece of egg and breaks it apart on his plate, clearly losing appetite as he hears his name being called by his dad.

“Uh, no, sir,” Taehyung shakes his head. He searches for Mrs. Jeon’s eyes, but finds her glaring over at her oldest son. “Jeongguk-ssi is very good. He does not trouble me at all.”

The man sitting in the armchair laughs loudly, as if he’d just heard the best joke of all time.

“Oh, Taehyung-ah, I think you’re mistaking my son for someone else!”

Taehyung feels a void in the pit of his stomach, but he knows he’s full.

He feels like throwing up.

Wonders how Jeongguk feels, bangs hiding his pretty eyes as he stares down at his plate half-full, bottom lip swollen from how harshly he’s biting at it, clearly ashamed and disappointed—angry, if the way he fists his chopsticks mean anything.

He wishes he could do something to cheer him up.

“How were the swimming lessons today?” Mrs. Jeon breaks the uncomfortable silence in the air by asking her youngest kids, whose lips curve up as they have the chance to speak. The little girl is excited as she rambles, but Mrs. Jeon interrupts her with such softness it shatters Taehyung’s heart. “Speak calmly or I won’t understand, dear.”

The rest of dinner goes by awfully slow.

Taehyung tries his best to continue engaging in conversation as if nothing had happened, chatting with Jeongguk’s brother about a math test he scored the perfect score on and answering Mrs. Jeon’s questions with a smile on his face as he talks about his life back in Daegu, about his parents and his siblings.

However, from time to time, when Jeongguk’s silence is too loud, he feels blue all of sudden.

Jeongguk is not meant to be quiet.

Taehyung likes it when Jeongguk is loud, when he speaks his mind without caring about repercussions and when he rolls his eyes out of boredom. 

Thankfully, by the time Mrs. Jeon calls it a night, he’s allowed to simply leave without helping picking up the table. Seems like that’s Mr. Jeon and the youngest kids’ task. 

“Go ahead, Taehyung-ah. I’m sure you are tired,” Mrs. Jeon offers him a gentle smile.

Taehyung is quick to obey. Quicker as he watches the way Jeongguk rushes while walking out of the dining room and making his way upstairs, stepping up two at a time, making it almost impossible for Taehyung to catch him.

When he finally does, he feels a little out of breath.

Surely, Taehyung isn’t meant to step into the hallway that much, but he follows Jeongguk until the guy is standing in front of a door that has a big sign hanging by the doorknob. Keep out. Black capital letters underneath an ever bigger phrase colored in red. Danger.

“Jeongguk-ssi—” he calls quietly when the youngest twists the doorknob, allowing him to peek into what seems to be Jeongguk’s world—but his frame doesn’t permit Taehyung to catch sight of anything but dark blue walls. 

Jeongguk freezes in place, looking over his shoulder. “What?”

Taehyung takes a deep breath, trying to look into his eyes, which have become one of his favorite features. Doe, dark orbs, always glimmering even when there are no lights.

“Do you want to give a final read-through to the proof test?”

“No,” Jeongguk is quick in shaking his head, eyes failing to meet Taehyung’s. “Thanks for asking, though.”

And with that, he steps in and closes the door.

Taehyung stays glued to the spot outside Jeongguk’s room for a while.

With a heavy heart, he walks the opposite way and steps into the guest room.

He gets into the borrowed pajamas Mrs. Jeon lent him and folds his clothes, leaving them on the desk to wear tomorrow. He can only hope no one recognizes he’s wearing the same outfit for another day.

While brushing his teeth in the bathroom adjacent to the guest room, he tries to forget about everything that happened over dinner — but it’s difficult to do so when the memories are so fresh.

Still, he fights against them and makes sure to get into a state of mind in which he can advance in the overdue unanswered emails from some of the people he tutors and from some professors.

He winds up in bed with his back against the headboard, his computer over his lap, glasses perched over his nose as he focuses on answering each one of them with proper words and proper information. The softness of the bedding makes it hard to concentrate, such tender fabrics keeping him cozy enough he could easily fall asleep.

Around an hour has passed when a sound makes him flinch.

A knock. It’s very light, almost as if whoever knocked wasn’t sure if he was awake, or like they don’t want anyone else to know. A polite knock, an are you there? that Taehyung has no chance to retort to.

Before he can stand, he watches the door opening slowly. 

Wide eyes peek through the gap immediately. 

A small smile curls over Jeongguk’s lips as he whispers, loud enough for Taehyung to hear but quiet enough for his words to almost be missed, “Taehyung-ah. Can I come in?”

Taehyung nods, closing his laptop with a loud thud that goes unnoticed as Jeongguk closes the door behind him. “What’s wrong? Is it related to your test? Let me—”

“No, ‘s not that,” Jeongguk interrupts, taking a step forward. 

Only then, Taehyung realizes Jeongguk’s wearing pajamas: an oversized, long-sleeved black shirt, and checkered gray pants. His hair is strangely shiny, yet disheveled, almost looking wet as if he’d just gotten out of the shower — because he also smells deliciously nice. Fresh, clean. 

Goddamn.

“What is it, then?”

“Nothing,” Jeongguk shakes his head, locks swaying. “I just… wanted to be with you for a while. Can I?”

The words have Taehyung’s tongue getting stuck as he tries to reply. “I—what? I mean, sure? I guess.”

Jeongguk snickers, eyes falling over Taehyung’s closed laptop. “What were you doing?”

“Answering some emails,” he drums his fingers against the back of his computer, keeping his palms pressed there. “Nothing too important.”

A hum fills the air.

Taehyung sees Jeongguk's fingers brushing against the wooden footboard, index finger ghosting over the edge of it before he asks. “Can I sit here?”

He nods, licking his lips nervously. “Of course.”

Jeongguk’s hand brushes against Taehyung’s feet from over the covers, making the older man squirm at the unexpected tickle that runs through his body. Jeongguk giggles softly, murmuring sorry under his breath.

They’re sharing the same bed. 

Well, not quite, but it’s a lot for Taehyung’s poor heart.

Suddenly, Jeongguk’s index finger is pointing at the stickers on Taehyung’s laptop, eyes squeezed as he tries to tell apart what they are. “You like that?”

“Ah, yes,” Taehyung answers quite remorsefully. The smile over his lips is too telling, and he tries masking his emotion by adding: “Not a huge fan or anything, just—”

“We could watch it together someday.”

Taehyung gulps. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” easily, Jeongguk replies. His lips are in a pout as he continues saying, “I like being with you, and if that’s something you enjoy watching, then why not? Could be nice.”

Taehyung wonders if Jeongguk would be immersed enough to ask about the storyline, wonders if he’d get a favorite character and if the coincidences would be that much that it would end up being the same as Taehyung’s. 

Also, he wonders if Jeongguk’s a cuddler. If he would wrap his strong arms around his waist, keeping him close and sniffing into his hair every now and then. Maybe, even nuzzling his nose against the top of his head to tickle him.

He wonders if, when the chapter has too much nonsense filling, Jeongguk would kiss him silly to pass the time, making him whimper abashedly into his mouth as his hands would roam throughout his body, underneath his clothes—

No. Too far.

He shakes the thoughts away, feeling his blood already rushing to his cheeks—and some other places he doesn’t dare to think about.

Jeongguk’s mind seems to be clouded as well with thoughts, because over his lips, a dizzying smile settles while his pretty eyes stare at Taehyung’s face.

In hopes of forgetting about the topic and focusing on something that will make him not look as affected, he chooses to ask. “Do you like your degree?”

“I do.”

“You chose it?”

Jeongguk shrugs. “Not really. My mom has a spot secured for me in the company she works at, so it was either that or law, and I didn’t want my dad belittling me even more because law is his field of expertise,” his nails rake over the bedding, very close to where Taehyung’s legs are yet not close enough. 

“Is that why you don’t… try? Like, to get good grades.”

“Kind of. I mean, I don’t see any point in doing so,” Jeongguk mumbles. “Either way, I’ll end up working with my mom.”

He wishes it was that easy for everyone. 

Taehyung puts the laptop away as he realizes there is no way in hell he’ll be able to continue answering emails after this.

His hands fall over his lap, fingers intertwining loosely. “What would you have chosen?”

Jeongguk leans his head back, staring into the ceiling as he focuses on his thoughts. 

“I liked science a lot when I was in school. But— I don’t know. I never had the chance to properly think about that, you know?” He says while glaring at Taehyung, a hurt present in his eyes as he speaks. “I knew I had no choice. It was always either this or that.”

Taehyung finds it almost impossible to imagine Jeongguk as a doctor. The thought of Jeongguk wearing a white gown is funny enough for him to snort. 

However, he knows for sure Jeongguk would be the hottest doctor in the hospital.

With softening eyes on the younger man’s face, he allows some of his thoughts to be materialized into words. “I’m sure you would’ve rocked anything you would’ve chosen, Jeongguk-ssi.”

Jeongguk seems utterly embarrassed, cheeks tinting a light pink that matches perfectly the shade of his lips. “Thank you, hyung. Also, don’t call me Jeongguk-ssi.”

Head tilted and brows slightly furrowed, he asks. “How, then?”

In Jeongguk’s eyes there is a strange glimmer, one Taehyung hadn’t seen before. It’s bright, but in a different way, constellations so clear in his dark orbs that Taehyung worries for a second Jeongguk will end up blinding him. 

“However you wish, Taehyung-ah.”

Taehyung begins trying different variations with a timid smile over his lips. “Jeongguk. Jeongguk-ah. Guk.”

Being able to call Jeongguk anything else but Jeongguk-ssi makes things feel more informal for Taehyung—a little more intimate, too, if he’s even allowed to think of such things.

The only sound that’s heard in the room for a few seconds is the way the raindrops hit the window, clattering. A soft drizzle that Taehyung’s grown comfortable with through the night, and makes him feel like he’s home after such a long, long time.

Jeongguk lets out a breathy sigh, fingers now brushing against Taehyung’s ankle as he stares at the older man with hooded eyes. His glare is so piercing Taehyung wonders if Jeongguk can see through him, see what’s going on in his mind, and figure out what his strongest desires are at the moment. 

His words are whispered so softly they almost cause Taehyung a heart attack. “You’re so fucking precious.”

“Shut up,” Taehyung whines, palms hiding his warm cheeks. 

Jeongguk leans slightly until his tender fingers come in contact with Taehyung’s skin, wrapping around his forearms so delicately as he lowers them, Taehyung coyly smiling as his wall has been knocked down.

The warmth of his body hovers over Taehyung’s like a ghost, and Taehyung, although having always been afraid of ghostly-things, wants nothing more than to feel him completely.

The softness of his hands against his body, the brush of their legs together even through way too many layers of fabric, his breathing getting mingled with his due to the shortening distance that each second becomes almost impossible to keep.

Because Jeongguk keeps leaning, eyes falling on the shy curve of Taehyung’s lips before going back up to his eyes again, until the distance between them feels forbidden enough to be enticing.

“Hyung,” Jeongguk says under his breath. Taehyung hums, a quiet mhm before he licks his lips, stomach twisting in a funny way. Jeongguk’s hand falls over his thigh softly for support, rubbing it up and down twice tantalizingly, making Taehyung shiver. “Would it be okay if I kissed you?”

Taehyung’s eyes widen at that.

He swallows repeatedly, fingers fiddling as he feels awkward all over. “You want to?”

Jeongguk giggles, “I’ve wanted to for the longest time ever,” he confesses. 

His words sound so honest that Taehyung has nothing else to do but nod, saying, “You can do it.”

And— oh. Is he really about to kiss Jeongguk?

Great. It’s… amazing, actually — but he doesn’t know why he feels so anxious about it.

He’s kissed people before, can count the times he’s done so with the fingers of one hand. Well, with a finger, because he’s sure mistakenly pecking Jimin doesn’t count. Anyway, he knows what it’s like: two pairs of lips meeting each other for such a gentle and pure action.

Still, it seems like his body reckons this situation as something different.

Because right now, he wouldn’t be kissing just someone that means nothing to him or his best friend out of mistake, no. He would be kissing Jeongguk, but not the guy that’s known by almost everyone for being a bad guy that wears black clothes and rides a bike. He would be kissing the guy he’s been tutoring for the past month, the soft-spoken and bright-eyed guy he has a crush on.

And, almost as if this strong, weird feeling that’s been growing steadily in his chest couldn’t grow any bigger, Jeongguk interlaces their fingers together over Taehyung’s lap, his other fingers tenderly cupping his jaw before he chooses to calm down the inner voices in Taehyung’s mind with his soothing voice.

“Hey, it’s just me, hyung. You— if you don’t want to, it’s okay,” Jeongguk rubs his cheek with his thumb, Taehyung unconsciously leaning against the touch as if they were opposite sides of magnets. “You can tell me, I won’t bite.”

A huff falls from Taehyung’s lips. 

“I want to,” he murmurs. “I really, really want to.”

Jeongguk’s hooded eyes glaze at Taehyung’s moist lips, a glimmering gaze following each of Taehyung’s movements. “What do you want?”

“I want you to kiss me, Jeongguk-ah,” he announces. “Please. I’ll be good.”

“Don’t say those things, hyung,” Jeongguk complains with a smile over his lips. 

But then, before Taehyung can prepare, the tip of Jeongguk’s nose is pressed against his, and there’s a warm puff falling over his cupid’s bow as Jeongguk breathes out calmly, as if there was no rush. In a way, Taehyung feels it too — the night being eternal. 

“Kiss me,” he demands in a plea. 

And Jeongguk does just that.

He softly gets closer, giving Taehyung the chance to pull back if needed—but he never does, because he’s been yearning for the same for maybe as long. 

Jeongguk slightly leans his head sidewards so their lips can slot so perfectly, resembling puzzle pieces. Taehyung feels frozen for a while, eyes hidden behind his lids and just going by feeling the warmth that is Jeongguk as their bodies come in contact.

Immediately as their lips meet, Taehyung feels something akin to electricity rushing through his veins. A feeling so brand new but so known, somehow, as if he was made to feel that. 

Taehyung hums delighted into Jeongguk’s mouth, feeling the curl of the youngest’s lips against his as he smiles, a quiet giggle making Taehyung’s heart go crazy within his chest.

Jeongguk’s rhythm is so composed, as if this was something he wishes he could treasure and not just keep as a one-time thing as he does with the flings he seems to have while he’s partying, which has a fluttering sensation occurring in the older man’s stomach. Could Jeongguk really ache for such a thing?

Awkwardly, his hand ends up holding Jeongguk’s hip over his clothes, daring to grip his lean figure not knowing if there will be another chance to do so. In his mind, he is fascinated about Jeongguk’s body, finding it almost unbelievable that he’s actually touching him.

Their fingers continue being intertwined over Taehyung’s lap, and Jeongguk, somehow, finds the way to rub his thumb into the back of his hand at the same time that he tenderly grips Taehyung’s jawline, tilting his head just perfectly so he can softly catch Taehyung’s bottom lip between his teeth.

Full of shame, he whimpers amidst the kiss.

It has Jeongguk pulling back just enough for their foreheads to press together as they catch their breath after having gotten lost in the kiss. Taehyung tries to get another one by leaning forward, but Jeongguk laughs so beautifully that it makes him feel dizzy enough to let out a quiet sigh.

“You have no idea, hyung,” Jeongguk mutters, taking a deep breath. Taehyung feels a tickle as Jeongguk speaks, distance almost nonexistent as their lips brush with each word that’s spoken. “I was going crazy.”

Taehyung licks his lips purposefully, wondering if he could feel Jeongguk’s taste in his tongue if they were to kiss for any longer. “Were you?”

“So badly,” Jeongguk giggles before surging forward.

Their kiss is more intended.

As if, with only having kissed once, they’re clearly more acquainted with each other’s bodies and likings. 

Because this time, Jeongguk’s fingers toy with Taehyung’s earlobe while his other hand leaves Taehyung’s firm grip, making its way through his body until it’s wrapped around the side of his neck.

Taehyung doesn’t stay behind. 

Very shyly, he dares to put his hands on Jeongguk’s body with more finesse. Now, he allows his curious fingers to brush through Jeongguk’s sides—from his hip to his petite waist, from his shoulders to his strong biceps—, making a map in his mind of each curve of his defined body, wanting to remember such a masterpiece during his loneliest nights.

He holds him with his hands at each side of his waist, and Jeongguk giggles amidst the kiss.

And it’s then that Taehyung confirms that there’s absolutely no going back.

Quietly, he whispers into his mouth. “You won’t sleep here, right?”

“You don’t want me to?” Jeongguk says after breaking apart, an eyebrow crooked. Taehyung’s eyes can’t seem to focus on anything but in the way he licks his bottom lip. He ends up shaking his head after Jeongguk taps on his neck to get his attention. “I see how it is.”

With a roll of his eyes, he softly flicks his chin. “It’s just—” he gulps, cheeks warming up as the words fall out of his mouth. “I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep on my own ever again if you do so.”

“Fuck, Taehyung-ah. You’ll make me go insane,” Jeongguk surges forward once again, biting Taehyung’s bottom lip and catching it between his lips as he pulls back. “Don’t worry. Just… kiss me until you’re sleepy, and then I’ll leave.”

It’s with that promise that they fall back into a long-lasting kiss.

 

—

 

Mornings at the Jeon household are rushed.

The kids run around trying to get ready for school in time, with Mr. Jeon rushing to pack up their lunches while Mrs. Jeon prepares breakfast for the kids to have during the drive to school. 

Taehyung thinks he’s working rather slowly compared to them, but he doesn’t believe he can be blamed. After all, he slept less than he’s used to.

Honestly, he isn’t even sure how long he and Jeongguk kissed last night. 

All he’s aware of, is that at some point of the night, the room felt cold, and Jeongguk got under the sheets along Taehyung. There, their kisses continued being very chaste and soft, but there were more hands roaming around each other’s bodies—fingers finding their way in each other’s waists underneath the clothes, shirts riding upwards, and a few soft scratches against Jeongguk’s back when the youngest dared to lick into Taehyung’s mouth after eluding a gasp out of him.

When he woke up, he felt his lips swollen, and he felt shy while bumping into Mrs. Jeon while making his way towards the bathroom to take a quick shower. 

Thankfully, she didn’t seem to notice. Otherwise, Taehyung’s sure he wouldn’t have been able to look her in the eye after having spent around a quarter of the night kissing her oldest son.

Jeongguk, who has ignored him the few times they bumped into each other in the hallway.

At the beginning, Taehyung thought he was just running late and hoping for no one else to notice the certain closeness between them, with how quickly he was moving and with how hard he tried for their bodies not to brush while walking past each other.

But then, as Taehyung made his way downstairs wearing his yesterday clothes and with his backpack hanging by his shoulder, and he was urged by Mrs. Jeon to walk into the kitchen to have a quick snack, Taehyung believed Jeongguk simply wanted him out of his place.

Jeongguk didn’t even look at him even once, not even when Mrs. Jeon told him to pass a banana to Taehyung-ssi, not even when their fingers brushed.

It was more than awkward, because less than twelve hours ago, they had found solace in each other’s lips and the only words that seemed to be able to come out of their lips were quiet whines of each other’s names.

And now, Jeongguk doesn’t dare to say anything except when their names are mentioned in the same sentence by Mr. Jeon.

“Jeongguk and Taehyung-ah have classes in the same building today,” is what he says, implying something. His mouth, just like yesterday, is filled with food as he speaks. 

“I only have one helmet. Mine.” Jeongguk, without even looking up from his phone, which he’s scrolling mindlessly through, retorts. “I can’t drive him.”

Him. 

Taehyung’s name must feel like sin in his tongue.

There is nothing ethical or enjoyable about him being driven to his class by Mr. Jeon, but he’s sure there have been worse things happening—or is what he chooses to think while actively trying not to wonder why Jeongguk would play him like that.

 

—

 

A week passes by rather slowly. 

For the first time ever, Taehyung stupidly begins seeing Jeongguk everywhere at university. 

It’s not a surprise, considering they’re both studying in the same building—but never before it happened. 

That week, he sees him in the hallways, in the bathroom, on the way to the bus stop and in the coffee shop Jimin works at. Still, Jeongguk never dares to acknowledge him, as if Taehyung hadn’t spent literal hours tutoring him or as if they hadn’t shared one of the sweetest nights ever. And though Taehyung yearns to walk up to him and ask what’s wrong, it’s obvious Jeongguk wants nothing to do with him.

He even cancels one of their tutoring lessons — Monday one, saying he’s sick over a short message, but Taehyung doubts it after seeing him post about a party he was at that same night. 

On Thursday, after Taehyung chose to do his best at being professional and doing his job as Jeongguk’s tutor, while he was making their way over to the Jeon family penthouse, Mrs.  Jeon rang and said Jeongguk hadn’t arrived home yet due to unforeseeable circumstances, so Taehyung could skip that day.

And it’s 6 PM on a Thursday, and it’s the first Thursday afternoon in months he’s had for himself, and he doesn’t know how or why, but instead of being productive and studying, he finds himself crying against Jimin’s neck in his friend’s ugly green couch.

“Why would he do that to me?”

Is the question that’s been going through his mind for the past week, not a single thought being capable of overpowering that. 

It is the first time he’s said it out loud, and it feels soothing, somehow. Or, it might be the fact that Jimin softly rubs his shoulders, pressing chaste kisses against the top of his head when Taehyung chokes with his tears.

“He’s an asshole, Taehyung-ah,” Jimin murmurs for the nth time.

After Taehyung had briefly explained what happened last week, he’d burst into tears, and Jimin had been repeating that same sentence ever since they fell into the couch.

Each time, Taehyung had replied, “He’s not.”

Because, even if Jeongguk had played him horribly, Taehyung can’t bring himself to think of Jeongguk as anything but a sweet guy. A kind, doe-eyed twenty-one year old man who, during a short span of time, made him feel cherished.

And, of course, Taehyung wonders.

Why would Jeongguk do that? What did he get from acting like that? Was he expecting Taehyung to tutor him for free, or the only thing he wanted was to make fun of him? Was Taehyung someone Jeongguk laughed about with his friends during parties, someone he laughed about with the girls he slept with?

It was heartwrenching to think of such a thing.

It was the last thing he tried to think about. 

He wondered if, perhaps, Jeongguk did feel something, and everything simply changed after they kissed. Maybe, Taehyung wasn’t a great kisser, and, somehow, that had been enough for Jeongguk to dispose of him as if he was a throwable thing.

Still, that thought brought nothing but pain.

How could someone change so drastically overnight?

“He is, Taehyung,” Jimin says, soft-spoken as always, brushing his petite fingers over the back of his head. “There’s no reason for you to stand up for him after what he did. He kissed you, then ignored you. Not even ghosted you, because he full on ignored you.”

Taehyung wails. “I’m such an idiot.”

Jimin shushes him. “Nuh-huh. He is the dumb one, Tae. He lost someone smart, hard-working, handsome and kind. A fucking gem you are,” Jimin rubs his neck, thumb softly pressing down on his skin the way he’s aware comforts Taehyung. He sighs loudly. “God, If I see him, I'm gonna kill him.”

The bittersweet chuckle that falls from within his lips is completely inevitable. “You shouldn’t do that.”

For a couple of seconds, Taehyung can only hear his own sniffles and the sound of the old AC, which needs maintenance. Then, Jimin comes to the realisation. “You really like him.”

Hearing those words coming from one of the people who knows him the best makes things more palpable, more real. And how much Taehyung hates that this needed to happen for him to realize such a thing.

“I do,” he whimpers, abashedly. With a loud sigh, he squeezes his eyes and nuzzles his face into the crook of Jimin’s neck. “I hate this. I—” the words get caught up in his throat. Under his breath, he cautiously asks, “Do you think he despises me?”

Jimin utters to shake his head. “Oh, baby. No. Don’t think that,” he says while rubbing his temple. “We don’t care about what he does or thinks, okay?”

“But I do care.”

Jimin clicks his tongue. “I know you do, but… you shouldn’t.”

He takes a deep breath and rubs his eyes. “I should leave,” he pats around the couch, looking for his glasses which he removed as soon as his eyes got teary. “I gotta study and you need to get ready for your date—”

“Fuck the date,” Jimin rushes to say, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him closer, tightening his hold around Taehyung’s body until he gasps. “I know you don’t want to be alone.”

“But I need to study—”

“You’ll study here. Come on,” Jimin then pushes him softly. “Take out your laptop. I’ll grab my stuff and we’ll study together.”

Taehyung knows the last thing Jimin would like to do on his free evenings is study. 

“Are you sure?”

“Of course,” Jimin stands up and walks towards his bedroom, quickly coming back with his own laptop and a few sheets of paper in hand. He grabs his phone from his pocket and unlocks it, walking through the room while asking, “Are you feeling Chinese? I could go for Thai, too, but it’s up to you. My treat!”

Taehyung doesn’t know properly what the feeling that nests in his chest is called, but he knows it is more than love. 

And he definitely couldn’t be more grateful than having Jimin as his best friend.

 

—

 

Taehyung gets out of his last Friday class with a heavy folder filled with exams he has to go through between his arms and an awkward uneasiness present in his chest that only heightens when his eyes fall upon Jeongguk’s body.

Jeongguk, who wears a jacket over a black hoodie, bags under his eyes very noticeable even from a distance, but a slight glimmer in his gaze as he stares at Taehyung.

It isn’t astonishing that they’re on the same floor, in the same hallway, just a few steps away from each other. The past week has been like that: being able to see but not do anything else even when everything within himself yearns for nothing more than to be close. 

What surprises Taehyung, and almost makes him drop the folder, is Jeongguk timidly walking towards him with his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket.

“Hey,” is what he quietly says. 

Taehyung almost didn’t catch what came from his lips, the loud chattering from people surrounding them in the hallway making it difficult to listen to words spoken so softly.

It’s the first time in a little over a week that he’s listening to his voice directed to him, and he would be a liar if he said his heart didn’t skip a beat at it, at being noticed after so long.

Hesitating, wondering if it’s a good idea, he greets him just as softly. “Hello.”

Jeongguk licks his lips repeatedly before asking. “How are you?”

Taehyung huffs out a dry chuckle. 

“Fine,” he ends up lying. The manners he was taught about when he was a kid are forgotten as he leaves the question at the tip of his tongue. Instead, he retorts. “Can I help you?”

“I—” Jeongguk can’t seem to find the words. Then, he sighs. “Are you going home?”

Two lies in a row is not something Taehyung can’t handle. Also, there is something in Jeongguk, whether that is the gentleness in his voice or the softness that prevails in his gaze as their eyes interlock, that makes it impossible for Taehyung to treat him the way he knows he should be treated.

So, even if all he wants is to lie and get away from Jeongguk as soon as possible the way Jimin would be proud of, he ends up telling the truth and staying.

“Yes,” he says. “I’m done for the day.”

There’s a sense of urgency in Jeongguk’s voice as he asks, “Can I walk you to the bus stop?”

And Taehyung has found it hard to deny him anything ever since the beginning, and although the past week has been horrible and he feels like his world crumpled down ever since last Thursday night, when their bodies finally met and became acquainted with each other, Taehyung doesn’t know how to tell him no. 

“Okay.” 

A moment of uncertainty settles between them for a few seconds.

Some of Taehyung’s classmates walk past them as they leave the classroom. Some of the people in the hallway bump into them, not minding them at all, even if they’re standing in the middle of the hallway.

“Uh…” Jeongguk licks his lips. “Should we…?”

Taehyung nods. “Yeah.”

Their feet lead them outside of the building.

They walk downstairs with unrushed steps, careful of their bodies not getting too close. Taehyung feels like, if their sides were to brush, something would explode within himself. He tries to maintain his distance, knowing it’s for the better, though a voice in his mind demands for him to get closer. 

Through the campus, people greet Jeongguk shortly, to which Jeongguk politely smiles back, not allowing any of his acquaintances to steal him away. Taehyung ponders if Jeongguk is ashamed of being seen with him.

Not a word is spoken between them, so Taehyung wouldn’t know if that’s the case.

The evening is beautiful. 

Trees rustle, some birds chirp as they fly above them. Some students are sitting on the ground, some are walking down the same path they are. 

A cold breeze has Taehyung hugging himself, keeping the folder close to his chest at the same time he rubs his palms against his biceps. Jeongguk seems way too lost in his thoughts to notice anything.

The bus stop is awkwardly empty, as it tends to be on Friday evenings.

Most people choose to leave classes early, and the rest often use Fridays as a motive to visit the pubs close to university with their dearest friends. 

Still, it doesn’t mean the bus stops functioning. And, just as he’s about to ask Jeongguk something—anything to break the uncomfortable silence between them—, Taehyung sees the bus coming closer to the stop.

Behind them, he hears someone running. Frankly, Taehyung would run, too, knowing the bus passes every thirty minutes or so. Thankfully, Taehyung is not going to lose the bus this time.

As the bus comes closer, starting to slow down as it rears the station, he turns to stare at Jeongguk, whose eyes are lost in the street ahead.

“That’s my bus,” Taehyung mutters.

“Oh,” Jeongguk gasps, getting out of whatever situation he found himself immersed in. “Okay.”

Confused, Taehyung turns again. He doesn’t understand why Jeongguk walked all the way over to the bus stop with him if, one: he doesn’t take the bus; and two: he wasn’t going to say anything.

Still, Taehyung chooses to not let the situation bother him.

The girl who ran to catch the bus is already lining up, waiting for the driver to open the doors. Taehyung can see there’s a few seats left, and he’s grateful about it, knowing he won’t have to be standing all the way back to his home with the weight in his back and in his arms.

Before Taehyung can take a step away, Jeongguk’s fingers softly tug at his sleeve. 

Taehyung looks back at Jeongguk with wide eyes, holding the folder with one arm as the other falls to the side. It feels as if his arm is being taken away from him, but not from blunt forceness, because Jeongguk’s grip around his wrist is nothing but tender. 

Perhaps, nothing needs to be asked, because shortly enough, Jeongguk is timidly whispering. “I’m sorry.”

Thankfully, Taehyung’s sweater is loose in him, paws hiding his hand. Jeongguk seems to hesitate for a second, giving a swift glance at their surroundings, but he ends up loosely intertwining their fingers together. 

“Can we talk?”

Taehyung glances over his shoulder. 

The driver opened the doors. “My bus—”

He doesn’t want to wait another thirty minutes.

Still, he doesn't find it within himself to pull his hand away from the warmth that is Jeongguk.

“I’ll drive you this time,” Jeongguk whispers a promise. At the sound of his voice, Taehyung stares into his eyes again. Again, the desperation can be heard in the mutter he lets out and seen in the glimmer in his black orbs. “I need to talk to you. Please. Can we talk?”

Taehyung shouldn’t give up this easily. 

For the past week, he’s done nothing but cry his eyes out. Well, he did try to get out of his head by putting his nose into many different books and studying for courses he absolutely didn’t need to. But he’s not doing well.

He wonders if Jeongguk can see it through the makeup in his eyes, concealing away the bags that had been caused by an abnormal time crying as the thoughts spiraled in his head.

Jimin had been clear.

Taehyung shouldn’t give up so easily.

“I guess we can.” 

But he does. 

Because ever since the beginning, he’s been nothing but a goner for Jeongguk, the guy who softly smiles while gripping his hand in reassurance. “Thank you. Thanks. You don’t—”

The bus doors rattle as they close, startling both of them. 

As soon as the vehicle takes off and they’re left alone in the bus stop, they share an awkward giggle that lasts less than a second. 

Taehyung thinks of Jeongguk as a very soothing presence, and it’s kind of complicated to come to terms with the fact that, although the pain he put him through, Jeongguk still has a certain warmth blooming within his chest each time their eyes meet.

Not only that, but also when Jeongguk gives a slight grip to his hand. A firmness that has something erupting in the pit of his stomach, knees wobbling.

Goddamn.

There's an old gazebo in the common area of the university which has been, ever since before Taehyung was a freshman, guarded by yellow tapes which read do not cross in capital letters. Through the people he’s met, he learned it was closed off a couple of years ago due to a malfunction. Supposedly, the repair was going to last a month. 

It’s been years, and the tape is still there. Kind of broken, very unstable. Yet, still there.

However, it does not mean people obey what it reads.

Taehyung's heard it before: how students hang in the gazebo when there's no one around, how graduates risk it a little as they smoke in it, how some couples have found themselves having way too much fun in it.

Nevertheless, he’s never been there.

Taehyung doesn’t have any close classmates whom he hangs out with after classes, nor does he smoke, nor does he have a lover which he could get rowdy with in a common area—though, even if he did, he wouldn’t dare doing something so ungraceful—. 

But Jeongguk guides him, hand-in-hand, carefully checking over his shoulder each time they step onto some fallen leaves and broken branches, making sure Taehyung's steps are guarded. 

And it's quite uneasy, at first, because the gazebo is dirty, and he’s never been there, and it’s weird. There's a disgusting smell that reminds Taehyung of the cigarettes his father smokes, but it also brings a sense of comfort that makes his wavering breathing lull. 

However, Jeongguk is what makes everything else mean nothing, because he makes everything surrounding him shut down with just a quick curl of his lips.

“You’ve been here before?”

Timidly, Taehyung shakes his head. “Never.”

“I could tell,” Jeongguk snorts, nose scrunching. “Not my favorite place either, but—it’s kind of quiet sometimes and the view’s nice enough to unravel from your mind.”

It is the truth.

As the gazebo is in the area surrounding one of the smallest buildings on campus, it is estranged from the noise coming from the rest of the common areas. There’s enough trees surrounding the place, and the fallen leaves on the floor make the scenery feel panoramic, almost. 

Jeongguk looks like he owns the gazebo, secure steps around the flooring as if he was aware of which tiles aren’t safe enough to step on. His fingers brush against the railing, surely getting dusty, rubbing them onto his jeans afterwards.

Taehyung feels so out of place.

He wants to demand answers from Jeongguk.

But Jeongguk, although always looking so confident, also seems a little unattached.

He is there, but he looks out of it. 

Taehyung wishes he could fathom what’s going on in his mind, yearns for knowing what’s making Jeongguk feel so unlike himself.

Definitely, he shouldn’t feel like that, but he simply can’t help it when his heart is being louder than his brain.

“I’m sorry for having kissed you,” Jeongguk says in a whisper, breaking the silence between them. Taehyung feels a knot in his throat. “I don’t think I was thinking straight, but…” Jeongguk sighs breathily, eyes darting down at his feet as he adds, quieter than before, “I wanted to do it so badly.”

“I already knew that,” he says timidly, reminiscing what Jeongguk told him right before their lips found their way into each other. “I wanted it too.”

A coy smile makes its way towards Jeongguk’s face, making him look very boyish. “Those kisses we shared, the moments we shared before I left when you fell asleep on me—” He takes a deep breath. “They freaked me the fuck out.”

At his bluntness, Taehyung can’t help but chuckle.

Jeongguk giggles, as well.

“I don’t think it’s fair, you know?” When Jeongguk hums attentively, Taehyung adds: “I was freaked out, too.”

“I’m so sorry,” Jeongguk blurts out. That sentence has become engraved in Taehyung’s mind, and it’s disgustingly sweet. Jeongguk’s right hand hovers over his chest as he says, “I know I’ve said it over and over, but I am really sorry. I don’t ask for your forgiveness, though! I know what I did was bad, fucking horrible,” Jeongguk shakes his head, as if he, also, couldn’t believe he was able to do such a thing. “I just wanted you to…”

He gestures with his hands, something Taehyung cannot comprehend entirely.

Surprisingly, though, Taehyung doesn’t rush him. 

It takes a few seconds, but Jeongguk has his eyes squeezed close as he confesses, “I like you.”

Oh. 

Taehyung’s eyes grow wide. “You like me?”

Jeongguk is quick to nod, beautiful, profound orbs finally staring back into Taehyung’s eyes as he, once again, repeats his confession. “I like you. Way more than I’m supposed to,” he finishes off with a short giggle that lights things up.

“But—” Taehyung swallows, licking his lips twice. “Could you elaborate?”

He’s utterly nervous.

The situation had been something he never imagined would happen, so it is kind of unsettling as he realizes that they are, in fact, speaking about what happened, and Jeongguk has clearly said that he likes him. Not just once, but twice. Wow.

And, perhaps, the way he fidgets with his fingertips isn’t hidden properly by his sweaterpaws, or maybe Jeongguk is simply way more observant than Taehyung ever thought he was, because it doesn’t take him long to point it out.

“Are you okay?” He asks softly. It’s evident that he doubts whether he can get closer or not, steps wary as he ends up standing in front of Taehyung. There’s a kind grin over his pink lips as he says, “You don’t need to be nervous, hyung. It’s just me.”

Taehyung huffs. “Exactly why I’m nervous,” he finishes off with a shaky giggle.

Jeongguk looks down at the folder between Taehyung’s arm and, slowly, snatches it from him. Then, with his empty hand, he tugs at the strap of Taehyung’s backpack. 

Jeongguk places the folder down on the bench at the edge of the gazebo, and then plops down beside it. With pleading eyes, he stares up at Taehyung, and it takes him less than a second to be sitting down by his side, the only distance between them being taken by the yellow folder filled with sheets of paper.

Before Taehyung can even attempt to say something, Jeongguk beats him to it.

“I like you so much I don’t think you could understand.”

“Try me,” he murmurs.

“Honestly, I don’t think I even understand properly how I feel, because it’s just too much,” Jeongguk begins, eloquently. Taehyung feels himself flushing at the gentleness in which the words are spoken. “I liked to tease you with what I used to tell you during the first times we met because you became flustered very easily and it was funny, but then—then I found myself saying those things because, over the exhaustive evenings we spent together with you scolding me for not wanting to do assets while we coexisted in the same space for hours, I started to feel different each time you were around.”

Taehyung feels his chest warming up at Jeongguk’s words. 

It feels like a dream. A very awkward, yet lovely one. 

“I started to notice things about you that I don’t notice on others,” Jeongguk continues a second later. “Like the way you pinch your bottom lip when you’re focused, or how you sometimes slide your glasses off by repeatedly scrunching your nose when you’re bored,” Jeongguk recalls with a smile. “And—it was very hard to keep my eyes off of you. It is, still, because I look for you everywhere.”

Words get tangled in Taehyung’s tongue as he tries to speak. 

There’s a voice inside his mind chanting for him to say something, but nothing seems to come off. Gratefully, Jeongguk doesn’t rush him, either. 

Jeongguk taps his fingers against his knee in a rhythm that’s anything but peaceful. It’s hurried, as if it was matching the speed of the thoughts running wild in his head.

“And I’m so sorry for acting like you don’t exist this past week, but… I’m scared.”

Under his breath, two words come out as a question. “Of what?”

“Not of what I feel, because I know what I feel and it intrigues me, but… I’ve never felt this before, and I’m afraid,” he mumbles. Taehyung’s fingers brush over Jeongguk’s forearm in an attempt to comfort him. The smile that pulls at the corner of Jeongguk’s lips is enough proof that it works. “Would you want to do this with me? It’s just… you’re you, and—” the tired sigh he lets out is heartshattering. “What could I offer you, hyung?”

Taehyung’s fingers unconsciously trace over the stitches on Jeongguk’s jacket, pressing down on each of the ridges from how worn it is. His thumb presses over Jeongguk’s pulse from over the layers of clothes, feeling his heartbeats faintly. Nonetheless, he’s sure his pulse is quickening by the way Jeongguk seems jittery, tongue darting between his lips.

Jeongguk turns his hand around, facing upwards, as Taehyung carefully slides their fingers together.

The silence stretches on for longer than needed.

But, frankly, there aren’t many words that need to be shared.

The way their fingers interlock seems like enough of an answer for each of them. At least, momentarily. 

In a breezy afternoon, where the dry leaves fall from the trees and become one with the wind, the warmth and stillness that mingle in the air between them feels soothing enough for nothing else to feel essential.

Jeongguk rubs the back of his hand with his thumb in a way that has Taehyung’s walls tumbling down.

“I like you, too,” he declares in a whisper. 

His own breath hitches as he realizes the words that fell out of his mouth.

Jeongguk seems to feel his uneasiness, offering a firm, reassuring grip to Taehyung’s hand as a shy grin stretches over his lips. “It’s just me,” he repeats. “You can tell me anything.”

“I don’t do this, kissing people and wanting to be closer. Even less so with people I tutor,” he rambles, not knowing how or when to stop. “I don’t go around blushing at what people say to me, or daydreaming about someone who seems like they don’t give a damn about me unless we’re in the same room and there’s no other choice.”

Jeongguk interrupts, wide eyes gazing at Taehyung. “I do—”

“But I do all of that with you,” Taehyung shuts him; a simple glare is enough to stifle Jeongguk’s words. “I feel myself turn red when you call me smart, or pretty, and I, for once in my life, have started to be unable to focus on class because I’m busy thinking about you.”

The younger man licks his bottom lip, bright eyes wide as his gaze roams over Taehyung’s face. “Taehyung-ah—”

Taehyung feels Jeongguk’s palms getting sweaty, and when he comes to the realization that, instead of feeling disgust towards the stickiness that draws their hands even closer he feels nothing else but adoration, he smiles softly.

“It’s you who I care about, Jeongguk. No one else,” he whispers. “I—I wouldn’t want to try this with anyone else that wasn’t you.”

“Shit,” Jeongguk exhales in a whimper. “Are you being serious?”

Taehyung scoffs, rolling his eyes before darting them towards the scenery ahead of them for a few seconds. Then, his eyes fall upon Jeongguk’s pretty face, and he nods. “I’m willing to give this a chance, Jeongguk.”

There is a gentle smile on Jeongguk’s lips that has the corners of his eyes wrinkling. It’s the type of smile Taehyung has found himself losing sleep over ever since the first time he saw it.

Jeongguk is so gorgeous, and he’s so close to being his it has Taehyung pinching his thigh over his trousers in hopes of waking up from this dream he seems to be living in before it’s too late to go back to reality.

But not even the harshest pinch seems to be able to get him out of this. 

“My heart’s beating like fucking crazy, hyung,” Jeongguk confesses abashedly. Before Taehyung can tease him for his words, Jeongguk’s pulling up their conjoined hands until Taehyung’s palm is pressed against his chest, over his heart. “Can you feel it?”

And Taehyung doesn’t feel much over the layers of clothes Jeongguk’s wearing, can’t bring himself to tell apart if the hastening heartbeats he hears are Jeongguk’s or his; he only senses the warmth that erodes from Jeongguk’s body that is so familiar.

Right as the words are about to fall from the tip of his tongue, Jeongguk, once again, takes the reins and makes him flush as he softly speaks, “It’s because of you.”

“Jeongguk-ah,” Taehyung whines. 

His face feels scorching hot, about to burst from the amount of blood that’s rushed towards his cheeks. He looks down at the space between their bodies, bangs covering his eyes for a second before his chin is being lifted, tenderly held between Jeongguk’s thumb and index finger. 

In Jeongguk’s eyes, there’s the specific glimmer Taehyung would live and die for.

“I’m sorry, once again. I promise, from now on, I’ll prove I am worth it, hyung,” Jeongguk murmurs, his words too close to silence that if it wasn’t for the closeness, Taehyung wouldn’t be able to hear. Their fingers, still intertwined, fall upon his lap. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you—or if I even deserve you, but I swear I’ll make everything I can to make it known to you just how much I care about you, and how much I want this—being with you.”

A smile breaks upon Taehyung’s face.

Everything feels so raw, so pure, and Taehyung wants nothing but for this moment to be never-ending; but it is also way too much for his poor heart and mind to handle.

“There’s still a lot we have to talk about.”

“I know,” Jeongguk nods. “I’m not opposed to it. I just…” he sighs, shaking his head. “I really want to do this with you, and if it takes me apologizing over a million times and having profound conversations with you, like, five times a day, I will.”

Taehyung giggles.

He brushes a strand of hair out of Jeongguk’s face, tucking it behind his ear. He can feel Jeongguk’s deep gaze boring holes into his face, but he finds himself not caring about it at all.

Evading his eyes, he whispers. “You’re kind of cute.”

Cocky, Jeongguk replies. 

“I’m driven, which is different, but I’ll take it.”

Moments by Jeongguk’s side feels short-lasting. 

Everything goes by in a blur, and suddenly, Taehyung finds himself walking towards the parking lot of the Business building, being led, once again, by Jeongguk, who guides him. Their fingers are interlocked, and though there’s still a few people on campus, Jeongguk doesn’t seem to care about being stared at.

The only time their hands fall apart is when they reach Jeongguk’s parking spot, and the youngest begins rummaging through his backpack to search for his keys.

Jeongguk’s motorcycle is black. Seems over-cleaned, by the way it shines as the last sunrays hit the surface. The helmet he’s seen Jeongguk sport a couple of times is locked into the handle bars. The bike looks fast, and screams expensive, and the mere thought of Jeongguk riding it through the streets of the city has Taehyung biting his lip.

However, it also looks dangerous.

How is he supposed to get on top of it, a thing held by just two wheels, and trust in the destiny that he’ll make it alive?

“I’ve never ridden a bike before,” is what he quietly confesses. 

Jeongguk, who’s opening the trunk, smirks.

“I’ll keep you safe, hyung,” he confidently says. “You don’t need to worry.”

“I do worry,” Taehyung remarks.

Jeongguk giggles.

He retrieves a black and red helmet from the trunk and holds it with his left hand while putting Taehyung’s folder inside. Then, he makes grabby hands at Taehyung’s backpack, and hesitates for a second after grabbing it.

Then, he takes a step closer to Taehyung.

“I don’t think I’ve ever asked you this,” he promptly says. “How blind are you?”

Taehyung feels speechless. “Huh?”

With a smile stretching over his lips, Jeongguk adds, “Your glasses, hyung. How well can you see without them?”

“Good. Just a little blurry.”

“Wanna take them off for the ride?”

Taehyung doubts. “What if—”

“We won’t fall, if that’s what you’re wondering,” Jeongguk throws his head back while laughing. “I’m just telling you in case you want to. My friend prefers to ride without glasses because the helmet makes them uncomfortable.”

Taehyung opens the front pocket of his backpack and puts his glasses in his case. Somehow, afterwards, Jeongguk makes his bag fit inside the trunk, as well.

Jeongguk then closes the trunk and steps in front of Taehyung again. Before Taehyung can say anything, Jeongguk’s carefully putting the helmet over his head. Then, he’s securing it under his chin with tender fingers.

As soon as the helmet is safely on, Jeongguk pats the side of his head. “You’re so beautiful.”

All Taehyung does is roll his eyes.

Jeongguk’s backpack is light enough for the youngest to explain he’d prefer Taehyung to wear it instead of his, explaining that as the reason behind why he put Taehyung’s belongings in the trunk instead of his own. 

Shortly enough, Jeongguk is sitting over his bike, black helmet secured on his head.

“Come here,” he calls. 

Taehyung feels very awkward as he plops down behind Jeongguk on the motorcycle. The design of the seating makes it almost as if he slides closer towards Jeongguk’s body by default. He doesn’t complain, though, and he’s sure neither does Jeongguk.

It’s even more awkward as Jeongguk turns the engine on and the bike roars underneath him, making him jolt. Finding a surface to hold on to is even more complicated, and trusting his safety solely to his fingertips clinging onto the edge of the seat is… horrific.

It’s nervewracking how Jeongguk seems to always know what’s up with him.

“You can hold onto me,” is what he screams, making sure Taehyung hears each of the words he says. Taehyung hesitates, and Jeongguk reaches for Taehyung’s arm and wraps it around his torso. “I don’t mind.”

After the first minutes in which he thought each turn meant he was dying, Taehyung finds himself willing to take another ride through town on Jeongguk’s bike.

It might be because it feels freeing, with the breeze against his body making him feel like he’s flying. Danger aside, riding a bike is a nice experience, something he never expected himself to enjoy.

At a red light, Jeongguk hovers his hand over Taehyung’s over his stomach, gripping it softly before the light turns green again, and that’s the main reason he would do it a thousand times over.

 

—

 

“You came.”

Those are the first two words Taehyung hears as soon as the door of the penthouse is swung open. Jeongguk stands in front of him, frame half hidden behind the door, looking cozy—sweatpants and a long tee-shirt that falls loose on his torso, beanie covering his grown hair. 

Taehyung wishes he could kiss him.

Instead, he remains still in his spot, gripping the straps of his heavy bag in hopes of it making the way his fingers tremble unnoticeable. 

Doing his best, he pulls off a crooked smirk. “I’m getting paid for it, am I not?”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes, yet there’s clear fondness in his stare as his gaze falls upon Taehyung.

It’s Monday. 

Taehyung had felt awkward the whole weekend, but a good kind of awkward. The kind that had his stomach twisting as he remembered Jeongguk’s thoughtful words and tender touch, or his toes clenching as his phone vibrated in his pocket and there was a message from Jeongguk.

After having switched from Instagram to text messages, Taehyung felt like things were more… real. 

Knowing how Jeongguk operated his social media made Taehyung feel like he was just another fish in Jeongguk’s sea, someone from his surely long list of people he could talk to if bored. However, texts felt more honest, somehow. 

 

from: Jeongguk

I’m eating strawberries

Sent at 16:43

 

Having trivial things sent to him made Taehyung understand Jeongguk didn’t need to put up a facade with him. He could say anything he wanted, because he knew Taehyung wouldn’t judge him. There was absolutely no reason for him to push up the flirtatious bad-boy agenda people knew him for.

Yet.

 

from: Jeongguk

they make me think of you… sweet as you :)

Sent at 16:44

 

And those types of messages, in which Jeongguk showcased the charm within himself that, frankly, made Taehyung fall under his spell, had Taehyung squealing amidst his anime marathon.

Taehyung now has Jeongguk in front of him, wearing a gentle smile and a very dazzling look in his eyes that pushes him in like a magnet. Nevertheless, there’s also a force that makes him feel stuck, afraid of doing anything.

Can he really want Jeongguk as much as he does without hurting himself in the process?

It’s Monday morning. No one’s home but Jeongguk. 

Definitely, that’s what prompts him to wrap his arms around Taehyung’s neck in a suffocating hug, murmuring softly into his hair, “Missed you,” he mouths. The door clicks behind Taehyung and—was the push that strong, that he stepped into the apartment without even realizing? “I can tell you that, right?”

Taehyung is still wearing his backpack, his jacket, and his shoes. 

He grips Jeongguk’s sides, trying not to dwell on how soft yet strong his figure is, hoping to put some distance between them before his cheeks redden even more. “We have to study.”

Against his ear, there’s a teasing giggle.

“You know we definitely won’t be doing that, right?”

Getting to the second story office feels almost second nature for Taehyung.

He always takes the far left swivel chair, while Jeongguk takes the right one, which is closer to the door. Each time, while Taehyung takes his stuff from his backpack, Jeongguk spins on his chair. What’s different this time is that he drags Taehyung’s chair closer with his feet, which ends up in Taehyung scolding him repeatedly until he grows tired and simply allows the youngest to get him as close as possible.

It takes almost half an hour of them pretending to be studying the paper sheets ahead of them when Taehyung, with his eyes still on the printed spreadsheet, chooses to address the huge elephant in the room.

“I’ve never done this before,” he murmurs, quite ashamed. When Jeongguk makes a humming noise, which Taehyung now recognizes as a confused sound, he adds: “I’ve never had a relationship.”

“I’ve never had a relationship either,” Jeongguk confesses. 

It makes Taehyung lift his glare until it’s on the younger’s face. With widened eyes, he questions, “You have not?”

Jeongguk shakes his head slowly. “There’s no one I ever wanted to be in one with.”

That has something warm spreading through Taehyung’s chest.

“You’ve been with tons of people though, right?”

“I have, yes,” with a click of his tongue, Jeongguk admits. “It— I haven’t been with anyone for a while, by the way. I can’t find myself to think of anyone but you lately.”

Taehyung smiles. “That’s sweet. Though, I don’t really care about that? I mean, I kind of do, but… you don’t owe me anything, you know?”

Jeongguk is clicking his pencil against the table in a soothing rhythm, feet still perched on the base of Taehyung’s swivel chair.

A toothy smile settles over his lips as he agrees, “I’m aware.”

For a second, they freeze in their places. 

Taehyung takes advantage of it, and allows his eyes to wander through Jeongguk’s face. Something about the mole underneath his bottom lip talks to him, and demands for him to close the distance that provokes something to simmer within himself.

Too fast.

He clears his throat, and allows his antsy fingers to fall upon Jeongguk’s knee.

“I try to convince myself that I don’t care about how many people you’ve been with, but…” He takes a deep breath, uttering a giggle. “I do care. Only because it demonstrates you know about this—being with someone. Maybe not, like, in a relationship, but—”

Jeongguk interrupts him.

“In bed, you mean?”

Taehyung chokes, flushing red. “Jeongguk-ah,” he coughs.

The younger chuckles, fingers dropping the pencil. As his fingertips make their way down through his body until they’re by his knee, with his other hand he takes off his beanie and throws it to the couch.

His hair is all messy, standing in different directions, but he doesn’t seem to care much.

Their words begin coming out in whispers, as if their conversation was being heard by someone else.

“You’ve never—? Like… nothing?” Before Taehyung can say the truth, Jeongguk adds. “I’m not trying to make fun of you or something, by the way. I want to know what I’d be dealing with if we ever get to… that, you know.”

Neither dares to look ahead, eyes on the way their fingers loosely intertwine and untwine over and over again above Jeongguk’s leg.

“I’ve never been with someone like that.”

The mood switches drastically after that, Taehyung can tell by the beat of silence that’s suffocating, and by how Jeongguk swallows so loudly that he can hear it.

“But you’ve touched yourself, right?”

Jeongguk’s voice falls down a pitch or two, making it sound rougher.

Taehyung squirms in his chair—and he scolds himself. He’s not a teenager anymore, why does it feel like sex is a taboo? “Yeah,” under his breath. 

“You know what you like, then.”

He wonders if it’s obvious how warm he feels. 

The way their fingers tangle has shocks of electricity rushing through his veins. Adrenaline, perhaps. He can’t fathom if it’s something stronger than that, even.

“I suppose I do,” he mumbles. A shaky giggle runs from his mouth. “Talking about this is very—”

“Would you like for us to ever do that, hyung?”

The words make him fall silent.

Oh.

Taehyung gnaws on his bottom lip, blood quickly rushing throughout his body in a way he knows will make him look like a fool.

Before he has the time to think of a proper answer, a certain grip on his hand has him lifting his chin, eyes staring right ahead.

Jeongguk’s hooded eyes stare back, a fierce glimmer over them that’s different from all the times Taehyung has ever looked at his orbs. It washes away all the softness, turning it into something thrilling. Attractive. 

Taehyung doesn’t even doubt his answer.

“I would like it,” he utterly confesses. “A lot, actually.”

It takes a second, but then, Jeongguk is letting out a breathy chuckle. As he brushes his fingers through his disheveled hair, he complains. “You drive me crazy.”

“Do I?”

As soon as their gazes interlock, Taehyung notices how something brushes over Jeongguk’s eyes momentarily.

“Taehyung,” Jeongguk calls his name the way a mother calls her kid when they’re misbehaving. “I know you like it when I’m blunt, but it’s stupidly embarrassing to admit I’m very close to popping a boner, and I’m sure that’s not the way this is supposed to be going.”

He immediately gazes at Jeongguk’s lap.

He scolds himself as he realizes just what he’d done, and is quick to squeeze his eyes, muttering a shameful apology. “Sorry.”

Jeongguk wraps his fingers over his thigh, a loose hold that has Taehyung shivering. 

“Don’t apologize. You can stare all you want,” Jeongguk’s words make him blush furiously. “Don’t get all shy on me, Taehyung-ah. We’re supposed to have sex sometime, y’ know?”

Taehyung whines. “Shut up.”

“And we’d need to be naked. And we’d touch each other, and—” Jeongguk abruptly stops. Taehyung notices how he stares at his own lap before shaking his head in disbelief. “I should really shut up, huh.”

It only incites Taehyung's eyes to stare again.

And damn Jeon Jeongguk wearing gray sweatpants with seemingly nothing underneath, if he can judge by how obvious the print is against the fabric.

Once again, Taehyung squeezes his eyes. In his mind, he begins picturing puppies, ice cream—anything to erase the image of Jeongguk’s dick hardening inside his joggers.

He clears his throat. “So, let’s say—”

Right as he opens his eyes, he sees Jeongguk adjusting his dick from over his clothes, and it’s maddening. 

Jeongguk draws a lopsided smile. ”You can’t blame me. My hormones are the same as a teenager.”

Taehyung takes a deep breath to control himself before continuing.

“If we ended up, let’s say, dating,” he flushes at the idea of Jeongguk and him being a couple, “Would this be something that’d need to be hidden from everyone?”

“No,” Jeongguk is quick to deny. “No. What the fuck? Why?”

It’s hilarious, how Jeongguk frowns like a mad man while his cock is still half hard inside his sweatpants. Not that Taehyung notices, but—

“Don’t know,” he says. “It’s… me.”

“Yeah? Exactly?” Jeongguk looks at him as if Taehyung was talking pure nonsense. “I’d like the whole world to know I bagged you.”

Taehyung smacks Jeongguk’s forearm softly. “Be serious.”

“I always am,” Jeongguk wraps his fingers around Taehyung’s wrist, pulling him closer on his swivel chair. “Honestly, hyung, it’d be a pleasure to be known as your boyfriend.”

“Your parents wouldn’t care?”

“They’d be fucking proud of me. Probably shocked at how I did it, but—yeah.”

Taehyung smiles. “You’d want them to know?”

It’s heartwarming, how it only takes Jeongguk a beat to answer. “Obviously.”

With hesitance, the thoughts of the dinner he shared with the Jeon family still fresh in his mind, Taehyung asks, “Your dad, too?”

The ticking of the clock hanging by a wall fills the seconds of silence that settle between them. 

Taehyung rubs the pads of his fingers against Jeongguk’s inner arm, adoring how slim yet powerful his forearms are. Every little thing he discovers about the youngest has his heart rate going up at a slightly worrying pace.

“He’s not my biological dad,” Jeongguk explains a few seconds later. Nothing stops him afterwards, words rolling off his tongue with ease. “He adopted me after he married my mom. My biological father is… I don’t know. He left.”

If Jeongguk had never said so, Taehyung would've never guessed.

“Really?”

He nods. “It’s not like I hate him, though it might look like that. Actually, I love him, he’s my dad. He raised me.”

Taehyung knows there’s something else, and though he would’ve never obliged Jeongguk to brave his heart that way, it seems like Jeongguk does it willingly. 

Taehyung smiles softly, prompting him to continue as Jeongguk battles with the words at the tip of his tongue.

“He’s a smart guy, very kind, and charming. I know he’s proud of me and only wants me to do well, but…” he clicks his tongue. “Sometimes he’s a pain in the ass, and most of the time he compares me and uses me as an example for my siblings to know what not to do. It’s not like I even try to let him know I’m not this stuck up who no one knows how he got that far in life, but— well, I give him reasons to say things.”

Taehyung ghosts his fingers over Jeongguk’s thighs, drawing nonexistent figures above his gray joggers. “I don’t think you do, Jeongguk-ah.”

Leaning his back against the chair, relaxing under Taehyung’s soothing brush of fingers over his legs, Jeongguk hums. “I don’t do very well in class. He got his top-rated student to give me private lessons in hopes of me understanding things, and all I’ve done is fallen for my tutor.”

Taehyung chuckles loudly, as if it was the greatest joke he’s ever heard. Though he can’t say his breath doesn’t get caught in his throat as Jeongguk mentions he’s fallen for his tutor, because that would be a blatant lie. 

Choosing to ignore the matter is the wisest decision he can make. “You don’t need me to tutor you. You’re very smart.”

“Am I?”

Jeongguk enjoys being praised. It is something Taehyung learned by himself. Just watching how the corner of his lips curled upwards each time he called him smart, or each time Jeongguk caught him ogling was enough for the older to acknowledge such a fact. 

Never has Jeongguk been so explicit in wanting to hear certain stuff from Taehyung’s mouth. 

“Yes,” Taehyung hums. Jeongguk gives him puppy eyes, and Taehyung can’t stop. “You settle on something and you get it done, which makes you ambitious. You try and try until you know how things work, where numbers go. You don’t give up. That’s something to admire.”

A dusty pink covers the apples of Jeongguk’s cheeks and the tip of his ears.

Jeongguk throws his head back, gazing up at the ceiling as he lets out an exhale. 

“You’ll make me have a heart attack someday,” is what he jokes about.

And Taehyung isn’t sure he’d ever want that to happen, but if being so honest will have Jeongguk look at him with such a fond, glimmering gaze and such a toothy smile—then Taehyung will try to make him have heart attacks daily.

 

—

 

Jimin doesn’t sound puzzled at all after picking up Taehyung’s phone as it vibrates over the counter after Taehyung gives him permission to check.

“Someone saved as ‘Jeongguk’ with a heart emoji texted you,” are his words, which ring loud in Taehyung’s ear. He wants to drop the glass he’s washing and rush to grab his phone from his friend’s hands. Jimin continues on his suffering by adding, “He says, and I quote: ‘I miss you’, with five u’s, ‘so badly.’”

Taehyung panics immediately. “I can explain—”

He turns off the tap quickly, not even caring to wash off the soap from his hands. The glass still has bubbles along the rim, but he leaves it on the dryer either way.

Right as he turns to face his friend, he notices a funny expression adorning his features.

“Uh…” 

Jimin laughs, pupils disappearing behind his lids. “This is hilarious.”

Taehyung gulps. “I don’t think I get it,” he mutters.

It takes a couple of seconds for Jimin to regulate his breathing, hand over his chest as he tries to come back from whatever possessed him. 

“You don’t need to explain anything,” Jimin rushes to assure as soon as he can form a proper sentence without choking. “I kind of figured whatever you both had going on would get mended one way or another. Though it doesn’t mean it wasn’t funny to watch you freak out at me reading his message which, by the way, is cute. I’m jealous.”

Taehyung lets out a relieved breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

Somehow, thinking about how he was going to explain things to his best friend was like a weight on his shoulders he didn’t know he carried through all week. He’s thankful, once again, for his best friend. 

He darts his eyes down to stare at his soapy hands, apples of his cheeks burning. “I really like him.”

Jimin coos. “Although I wanted to kill him when you told me what happened, he’s cute. It’s obvious he cares a lot about you.”

The songs playing on Taehyung’s ratty TV aren’t high enough to disturb Taehyung’s peace. 

With his gaze settled on Jimin’s fond features, he tilts his head. “You think so?”

His friend hums. “He pestered me every day last week,” he complains. Taehyung chuckles. “I had no idea what’d happened, because you took way too long to tell me, and he didn’t say shit either! Just wanted me to check up on you to make sure you were okay.”

At the thought of Jeongguk bothering Jimin daily just to check if Taehyung was doing great, a coy smile curls the corners of his lips upwards.

“That’s kind of him.”

Jimin nods. He mutters along to the song playing on the TV while brushing some crumbs from the food they shared away from the counter. Taehyung quickly washes away the soap from the glass and his hands.

Then, Jimin’s voice fills the air.

“You know, he also apologized to me on Saturday,” is what he says, now grabbing the broom Taehyung keeps by the fridge. Taehyung arches an eyebrow at that. “I thought it was weird, because on Friday morning I told him to piss off,” Jimin giggles. “But then, on Saturday, he told me he apologized to you—after realizing you told me what happened—, and said you ended up on good terms.”

Taehyung wonders just how much Jimin knows. He doesn’t worry, knowing Jeongguk is considerate enough to keep their things to themselves only.

Jimin doesn’t offer him a chance to say something, plump lips gaping as he speaks: “You were busy during Monday morning and Thursday evening, so if you were at his place for ‘tutoring’, then it’s obvious things are okay.”

“Yeah,” Taehyung fiddles with a kitchen cloth. “They are.”

The sight is hilarious — Jimin sweeping his kitchen floor with the wooden broom, stopping at a random spot to stare at Taehyung with a warm look in his eyes and a hand on his hip. “I’m happy for you, really.”

 

—

 

613 B is a forgotten classroom.

Sixth floor, shattered windows due to a storm, chairless tables after they were moved to different classrooms. Students have made countless petitions to have the school authorities get it fixed, but all of them have been in vain.

No one dares to come by because it’s hidden in a corner. Small, made for courses with less than twenty students, those who are resigned to have their lessons there because no other classrooms are available. 

Ever since Jeongguk came around, Taehyung has found room 613 B to be one of the greatest ones in the whole building.

“I don’t think I can live without this,” Jeongguk murmurs.

Taehyung has his back pressed against one of the walls, sitting on top of one of the few tables with his legs dangling and his backpack thrown in the floor by Jeongguk’s legs, which are in the space between Taehyung’s parted legs.

It’s not usual for them to have breaks at the same time. Actually, in their official schedules, their breaks never align—but Jeongguk has found himself skipping some classes to spend time with Taehyung most days.

Taehyung has grown tired already of telling him he shouldn’t put him at the forefront, because his studies are more important. However, he does enjoy those moments in which it’s only the two of them in the most secretive spots on campus, like the gazebo, or the parking lot while sharing a few snacks by Jeongguk’s bike, or in classroom 613 B.

Something about their relationship being so hidden for the rest of others yet so public makes Taehyung’s heart clench in his chest.

Jeongguk doesn’t care about walking by Taehyung’s side with their fingers intertwined through the campus public areas, nor greeting his friends and introducing Taehyung as the guy he’s dating. He does care about PDA, a lot — and is the reason why Jeongguk makes sure no one’s around and locks all doors whenever it’s just the two of them.

Taehyung likes it that way.

He likes to know no one can see how Jeongguk’s hands tenderly roam through his covered thighs, gripping his flesh when he’s at his upper leg before holding Taehyung’s waist, pulling him closer on top of the table so their chests brush together.

There’s an appealing thing about no one seeing how he wraps his arms around Jeongguk’s neck, not without ghosting his fingers over his arms and watching the way the youngest gets goosebumps. Rubbing Jeongguk’s pierced earlobes between the pads of his fingers always has the guy in between his legs shuddering—and no one can see it but him.

His lips tingle with how long they’ve spent behind the locked door of the classroom, probably swollen from how much joy Jeongguk seems to get by softly gnawing at them. 

“I wish I could spend more time with you,” Jeongguk mutters into his mouth, pecking the corner of his lips twice as he grips Taehyung’s waist over his jersey. “It’s not fair we’re so close all day yet can’t meet more than we do.”

Taehyung can tell Jeongguk wants everything but for their bodies to pull apart, but the noise coming from the hallways indicates a period ended and a new one’s about to begin, and Jeongguk can not miss any more classes today. If he does, make-out sessions on campus will be banned, or so had Taehyung warned.

Still, he stays close. 

“You’ll get tired of me quickly if we continue seeing each other as much,” Taehyung giggles. 

Jeongguk rolls his eyes, gripping his waist with his left hand while his right one pats the space beside Taehyung’s legs. “I could never, hyung.”

His words are gentle, though the frown is deep between his brows. Taehyung presses his thumb over the wrinkles, and it makes Jeongguk smile.

Jeongguk picks up Taehyung’s glasses from the space he’d left them after removing them from Taehyung’s eyes as soon as their kissing intensified. Taehyung lets the youngest put them back on slowly to make sure he doesn’t poke Taehyung’s eye.

A smile stretches over his lips, reflecting the one in Jeongguk’s face.

“You’ll come by later, right?”

Taehyung likes the way Jeongguk calmly beats his fingers over the table, a peaceful sound that overlaps the nose coming from the hallway.

“Today?” Jeongguk hums. “It’s Wednesday,” Taehyung reasons. “We don’t have lessons scheduled on Wednesdays.”

“Bummer,” Jeongguk blows air into his neck, making him squirm. “You could still come by, though.”

Taehyung loosely throws an arm over Jeongguk’s shoulder, keeping him pressed into his neck as he asks. “What’s the excuse? An impromptu test tomorrow morning?”

“There’s no excuse. Just wanna be with you. No spreadsheets, no books—nothing. Just you and I.”

Taehyung gnaws on his bottom lip. “I don’t know if I’d feel comfortable with that, Jeongguk-ah.”

By now, he’s aware he can say everything that’s in his mind without Jeongguk thinking bad of him.

Jeongguk removes his face from the crook of Taehyung’s neck, hooded eyes gazed directly at Taehyung’s face. There’s such a tiresome look in his face that Taehyung suddenly finds himself yearning to have a nap by his side.

“Mhm, it's okay. Wanna grab a bite, then?” Jeongguk asks. “My classes run late today, but maybe I could pick you up and—”

“Would you wanna go to my place, instead?”

Taehyung doesn’t regret asking so until he notices the shock in Jeongguk’s widened eyes.

It’s understandable. All the times they’ve been together under a roof has been at Jeongguk’s house, with his family in a different room and the maid walking by every thirty minutes or so to see if they want some more juice. 

Gulping down, he frantically adds: “I’ve been awake since five in the morning, I don’t know if I’m up for a late night date.”

Jeongguk lets out a short giggle, rubbing his thumbs into Taehyung’s knees.

“That’s an amazing idea,” he nods as he speaks. Taehyung exhales, easing himself. “I could pick up something, then, to have dinner at yours.”

Taehyung does not have a dining room in his studio apartment. There’s only one chair, and it belongs to his desk. He wonders if his old couch, which belonged to his grandparents in the early nineties, would be enough for Jeongguk, someone whose living room couch seems to be made out of the best foam to ever exist.

“That sounds nice,” he ends up saying.

 

—

 

Waking up from his nap to the sound of his door knocking isn’t exactly how he expected his evening to go.

The sound startles him, making him jolt from where he lays over the mattress, body warm beneath the fluffy blanket his grandma had knitted for him for his fifteenth birthday. It’s difficult to open his eyes, even harder to fix the crooked glasses over his nose, somehow.

His body feels light. Eerily enough, it feels almost as if his brain wasn’t sending signs through his body. 

He stumbles while standing up, feeling suddenly dizzy but not giving himself a moment to compose as two faint knocks can be heard once again. Bare feet bring him towards the door, fingers missing the doorknob once before twisting it.

On the other side, standing in front of the elevator, in the middle of the small hallway, stands Jeongguk, holding a paper bag with grease stains in the bottom. He’s keeping his helmet underneath his armpit, and his bag is hanging loose from his shoulder.

With a fond smile, Jeongguk breaks the silence. “I figured you’d fallen asleep.”

“Sorry,” Taehyung mutters abashedly. He steps sideways, giving enough space for Jeongguk to walk in. As the door closes, he apologizes again. “I lost track of time, I guess.”

Suddenly, he feels conscious of his state. 

His gaze snaps towards the mirror hung right outside of the bathroom door. His shirt is all over the place, with a sleeve crunched by the armpit, his pants are all wrinkly, and his hair is sticking to all the wrong places.

He lets out a quiet sigh.

A thump is heard, and he watches by the mirror reflection that Jeongguk’s made his way through the left, stepping in the small kitchen area. The paper bag is now over the counter by the sink, as well as his helmet, and Jeongguk’s hands are taking the plastic containers out.

“I called you to ask what you wanted, but… you were sleeping, so I just brought Korean food from one of my favorite places around the area. A little mix of everything, so I’m sure you’ll be okay,” Jeongguk says over a smile.

“I’m sorry,” Taehyung repeats.

Jeongguk spins around looking for the trash, and after Taehyung tells him it’s under the sink, he throws the greasy paper bag away. Then, he takes three long steps until he’s in front of Taehyung. The fond smile is still present as his hands softly land on each side of Taehyung’s hips. 

“Don’t. You were tired,” Jeongguk whispers. His thumbs make their way right under Taehyung’s shirt, rubbing at his skin in a soothing manner. “You look very cute,” he murmurs. Jeongguk surges forward until they’re only a breath away. “Can I kiss you?”

Taehyung nods.

Before Jeongguk can follow his request, Taehyung takes the lead.

It’s a gentle peck, just their lips pressing together for a second, but the weird feeling in Taehyung’s stomach awakens him completely.

“Can I take a quick shower before eating?”

Jeongguk chuckles. “It’s your place, you don’t need to ask.”

“Make yourself comfortable, yeah? I know it’s not much, but—”

“It’s lovely because it’s yours,” Jeongguk shuts him, words so strongly-spoken that Taehyung finds it difficult to believe they come from the man whose fingers draw circles so tenderly over his skin. Another peck. Then, words are whispered against his lips in a way it has tickles running through Taehyung’s body. “Now, go, before our food grows cold.”

Taehyung bolts.

It is, indeed, a quick shower.

He washes his hair as fast as he can, and loathes his body in soap, only to wash it away with scorching hot water before it runs cold. For a second, after having dried himself, he regretted not having thought twice about the clothes he brought to the bathroom. 

Would wearing a white shirt with a hole by the armpit and worn out joggers be a complete turn-off for Jeongguk? Hopefully not. 

When he comes out of the bathroom with drops rolling down his neck from his wet hair, he finds Jeongguk leaning by a kitchen counter while scrolling through his phone.

His backpack is by the front door, as well as his helmet, and he’s removed his hoodie and left it on the over-the-door-hang. It hangs beside Taehyung’s jacket, and the sight has the older man smiling to himself.

Jeongguk glares up as Taehyung closes the bathroom door by his back. “What about your glasses?”

“Fogged,” Taehyung shakes them in the air for him to see. “Silly me brought them to the bathroom.”

Jeongguk pockets his phone while giggling. 

Food ends up being eaten at Taehyung’s desk, with Jeongguk on the chair and Taehyung leaning against the desk, feeling like it’d be way too uncomfortable to sit on Jeongguk’s lap while eating. After, he’d promised the youngest, who had hummed in agreement.

In between bites of the delicious food, they talk about Jeongguk’s last class of the day, which ended up being cut short and, solely, being the reason Jeongguk had arrived way earlier than expected.

It’s a lovely dinner, and Taehyung doesn’t think he’ll be able to have dinner by himself tomorrow.

Then, he throws the empty containers away and puts the leftovers in the fridge while Jeongguk goes to the bathroom. Taehyung had been informed that Jeongguk had no plans but their date, and so he could stay as long as Taehyung wanted him to. After choosing to watch a TV show, Jeongguk had borrowed a pair of sweatpants, because cuddling while wearing jeans was a huge no, according to him.

It takes some time to get the TV to connect to his laptop, but right as he gets it done, Jeongguk emerges from the bathroom.

As always, he looks breathtaking. More so in that he’s wearing Taehyung’s sweatpants, which cling to his thighs in ways Taehyung has only dreamed of.

A sight to behold.

Last Thursday Taehyung spent at the Jeon household, Jeongguk brought him to the second floor study room. 

He’d told his mother they couldn’t hold their tutoring meeting in the dining room because Jeongguk’s siblings had their swimming lessons cancelled and having them running around the house was disturbing, as well as the maid vacuuming the whole first floor. 

Somehow, Mrs. Jeon had easily agreed.

Taehyung doesn’t know how, but no one bothered them that day. 

They didn’t get much work done, either way. Instead of studying, they laid on the small couch and put Taehyung's favorite anime on the big TV after Jeongguk had shown interest in it many times before. 

For Taehyung, seeing it over again wasn’t troubling. 

The issue was that he couldn’t keep himself focused on the show, when having Jeongguk’s body so close to him was clearly more important.

Now, it was an issue, as well.

Because this chapter was a filler one, Taehyung knew this, but Jeongguk seemed to be very invested in it, while everything Taehyung yearned for was to feel Jeongguk even closer. And Jeongguk asked, every once in a while, about certain stuff related to the show, which Taehyung knew, but couldn’t quite focus on when Jeongguk’s strong arms were wrapped around his body.

“Jeongguk,” he murmurs his name quietly, looking at him from where he’s laying over his chest. 

Jeongguk acknowledges him with a low hum and a pat to his lower back, where his hand had been resting ever since they found a comfortable position to cuddle on Taehyung’s single bed. “Yeah?”

His eyes don’t rip away from the TV, clearly focused on whatever was happening.

“Can I kiss you?”

Jeongguk frowns, and swiftly glances at him, before looking back at the screen that reflects a funny blueish light over his face. “Don’t you wanna watch?”

“Not really,” he shakes his head, jutting his bottom lip out. “I wanna kiss you.”

At that, the younger smiles. “Adorable,” he coos while rubbing his thumbs onto the dimples on Taehyung’s back. Then, he gazes at the TV once again with a puppy look over his face. “Can we pause it, though? Wanna kiss you a lot, but don’t wanna miss out on anything.”

The way Jeongguk crawls to where Taehyung’s laptop is to pause the show is cute, but the way he quickly crawls his way back to him with a wide, excited smile that showcases his teeth is even cuter.

 

—

 

Taehyung is quietly making his way through the busy hallways towards the library when he hears his name being called in a voice he’s very much acquainted with.

“Taehyung-ah!”

Immediately, he stops.

A smile tugs at the corners of his lips when his eyes fall upon Jeongguk, who’s running past the people with apologies ready in his mouth as he bumps into them, wearing a navy blue zip-up that, along his hair, long, curly at the ends, makes him look straight out of Taehyung’s dreams.

Jeongguk’s out of breath as he softly pushes Taehyung’s glasses up in the bridge of his nose with the tip of his finger, adjusting them as he realizes Taehyung can’t, arms filled with folders as usual.

There’s people looking at them, whispering under their breaths as Jeongguk’s fingers find a home over Taehyung’s hip. 

“Uhm. Hey,” Taehyung coyly greets him. There’s something very cliché about the whole scene that has him blushing fiercely. “What—why are you here?”

“I had a class in this building,” he retorts. Taehyung knows he’s lying: he has Jeongguk’s schedule, and he knows he doesn’t have any class in the Science building today. “Where are you going?”

“Library.”

Jeongguk hums. His hand feels comfortable over Taehyung’s hip, tugging him a little closer when someone walks behind Taehyung.

“Can I come?”

“I mean… yes?” Taehyung tilts his head in confusion, licking his bottom lip. “I’ll be grading papers, though,” he lifts the folders in his arms as proof. “I don’t know if you’ll have fun.”

The younger shrugs. “I have time to kill anyway. My next class is in an hour.”

Taehyung’s eyes gaze at the soft smile over his lips, and he wishes badly they could be alone so he could get a taste of him.

Jeongguk takes half of the folders in Taehyung’s arms and carries them himself as they walk side by side through the busy hallways in complete silence between them. Yet, no words are needed in such loud spaces when the warmth of their bodies is enough to compensate.

Clearly, Jeongguk is not someone who enjoys sitting in silence with nothing to do.

And, though Taehyung had asked again if he really had nothing better to do for killing time, Jeongguk had expressed there was nowhere else he’d rather be than by his side. Which had, obviously, set off fireworks in Taehyung’s chest.

Taehyung isn’t sure how many papers he graded, nor he’s sure about how many times he’d seen one of the librarians walk up to Jeongguk and say he needed to be quiet, otherwise he’s going to get kicked.

It was kind of cute, honestly.

While Taehyung was going through the paper sheets, Jeongguk had his earphones in as he played an episode of Taehyung’s favorite anime. The little gasps every time something shocking happened had Taehyung smiling while reaching over with the tip of his feet to tap at Jeongguk’s shin, a signal of ‘you’re being too loud’.

For the sake of Jeongguk’s record not being damaged with a prohibited access to the library, Taehyung decided to cut short his work as soon as he deemed it enough. 

“You’re leaving?”

Jeongguk immediately forgets about the anime playing on his phone when he sees Taehyung closing his laptop. 

With a lopsided smile, he nods. “I'm already done.”

The younger man pockets his phone and earphones without worrying about them tangling, and is quick in helping by putting the paper sheets inside the folders. “Want me to walk you to the bus stop?”

In a whisper, he asks. “What about your class?”

Jeongguk halts, glaring at Taehyung with a mischievous and guilty look that the older man recognizes all too well.

“Got cancelled.”

He chuckles. “There wasn’t even a class to begin with, Jeongguk.”

“Whatever,” Jeongguk rolls his eyes in a sassy way. Still, the faint pink in his cheeks is enough to tell that he feels a little embarrassed about getting caught. “I can walk you, really.”

They get their backpacks on and begin making their way out, speaking in quiet whispers so Jeongguk isn’t reprimanded again. 

“I’m not leaving. I have another class.”

This time, their fingers are intertwined as they walk — courtesy of Jeongguk putting Taehyung’s folders inside his own backpack so Taehyung doesn’t have to be carrying them around for the rest of the day. 

That, too, had made Taehyung’s heart beat like crazy.

They say goodbye to the librarian, who smiles kindly at Taehyung yet frowns at the sight of Jeongguk. It makes them laugh on their way out.

With the fresh breeze against their faces, Jeongguk tightens his grip on Taehyung’s hand. “Can I walk you to your class, then?”

Taehyung is weak.

“Yes,” he replies.

Sadly, the way over to the classroom his next class is at is not very far away, and it takes them less than five minutes to reach it.

They stay by the door after Taehyung checks his professor hasn’t arrived yet.

Jeongguk gets a little rebellious, forgets about his hatred towards PDA, and grabs Taehyung’s face softly with the palm of his hands. He squishes his cheeks, eyes bright as he looks at Taehyung.

Their lips meet in a chaste kiss, something soft, yet enough for Taehyung to feel a wave or heat run through his blood, setting aside the coldness the weather brings to his body.

“Text me when you’re finished so I can drive you home?” Jeongguk mutters, lips brushing against Taehyung’s as he speaks. “Traffic’s a bitch today.”

“You can say you want to spend more time with me, you know,” Taehyung teases, rubbing their noses together. “Boyfriends are allowed to be a little bit clingy.”

“‘Boyfriends’?”

Quite offended, he pulls back. “What did you think we were?”

A smile pulls the corners of Jeongguk’s lips upwards as he retorts. “I thought we were already married, with two kids and a dog.” 

Too early, perhaps, to be thinking so ahead.

Still, Taehyung giggles and says, “Soon.”

 

—

 

When Taehyung wakes up, it’s with someone lightly snoring against his throat.

Jeongguk’s parents celebrate their anniversary on a weekend roadtrip with the kids, while Jeongguk chooses to stay because he has to study — supposedly. The truth is, he’d wanted to spend time alone with Taehyung. 

Though Taehyung is aware Jeongguk isn’t trying hard to keep him a secret from his parents, he knows he isn’t as explicit about what they are. Yes, sometimes Jeongguk walks him to the bus stop after Taehyung leaves their tutoring meetings, and he also doesn’t shy away to say to his parents he’s messaging Taehyung when they ask him what he’s doing; but that’s it.

Taehyung isn’t bothered by it. He likes to know Jeongguk doesn’t keep him as a secret, but is simply rather private about their relationship. Frankly, it’s something he does, too. His parents are aware he’s dating someone, but they don’t know who. All they know is he’s happy, and it’s enough.

Having people meddle in isn’t something neither of them wants.

The alarm clock in Jeongguk’s nightstand signals it’s still early. 8 AM. Taehyung is used to waking up before 9 AM during the weekends, but clearly Jeongguk isn’t. Add to that the fact they’d fallen asleep way past midnight after binge-watching a TV show in Jeongguk's bedroom while cuddling.

During the time it takes for Jeongguk to wake up, Taehyung busies himself by softly threading his fingers through Jeongguk’s strands of hair after quietly going to the bathroom to pee and brush his teeth, putting on his glasses after to simply be able to see Jeongguk better.

Jeongguk’s light snores quietly fade as he stirs awake with a few groans provoked by the tender massage into his scalp. “Morning,” he murmurs in a hoarse tone.

Through the few nights they’ve spent together, Taehyung’s had the privilege of hearing Jeongguk’s voice first thing in the mornings; yet, it was something he still wasn’t quite used to.

“Good morning.”

Jeongguk rolls around in bed for a few seconds, stretching his limbs, before he ends up on his tummy, staring at Taehyung with a dizzy grin as he asks. “How long ago did you wake up?”

He could stare at the alarm clock to tell, but he doesn’t. 

Instead, he shrugs. “Not too long.”

“Okay,” the younger guy mumbles. Then, he purses his lips and demands something. “Kiss.”

Taehyung brushes his bangs away from his face with a soft smile over his lips while shaking his head. “Brush your teeth first.”

“Fucking hell,” Jeongguk curses against the pillow.

A second later, he’s making his way towards his bedroom door.

Around five minutes later, he comes back.

The roots of his bangs are wet, and his face is cold as he presses it against Taehyung’s neck. “Ready,” Jeongguk whispers. The vibrations of his voice into his skin have Taehyung squirming. “I peed, washed my face and brushed my teeth. I flossed, too, so you better give me the best kiss ever.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes.

He proceeds to cup Jeongguk’s jaw between the palms of his hands, closing his eyes as their faces come close enough for their puffs of air to mix. The kiss begins soft, as their good morning kisses tend to be like; but it quickly turns into something different, with fingers tugging and tongues intertwining. 

Jeongguk settles himself above Taehyung’s body, making sure to impose a space for himself in between Taehyung’s legs. Jeongguk’s calloused fingers caress Taehyung’s sides under the shirt he borrowed, warm skin coming in contact and making him feel electrocuted.

Once Jeongguk breaks apart, he complains into his neck. “Don’t kiss me like that.”

Taehyung feels anxious, scrambling to put his fingers apart from Jeongguk’s face. “You don’t like it?”

Jeongguk is quick to softly giggle, saying, “I love it, hyung, but—” a deep sigh. “I’m gonna get hard.”

Oh. 

He smiles coyly, running his fingers through Jeongguk’s back muscles. 

“Is that a problem?”

Jeongguk manages to lift his head. His cheeks are flushed, and his hair is all messy, sticking in different directions. Their eyes are interlocked, and Taehyung can tell a different glimmer settles on Jeongguk’s gaze at that. 

“You’re something else,” Jeongguk’s chuckle is airy as he shakes his head. 

Taehyung bites on his bottom lip, eyes catching on to the way the apple of Jeongguk’s throat moves as he swallows. “Tell me,” he demands. “Wanna know.”

Jeongguk licks his lips before surging forward until his lips rub against Taehyung’s when he asks, “Are you sure?”

Taehyung knows what Jeongguk is implying.

You really want to have sex?

Ever since their talk, which was around a month ago, things have been changing between them. 

Apart from the obvious kisses they now shared everywhere, they’ve started doing more things whenever they were on their own. Whether that was at Jeongguk’s house, over at the second floor study room, or at Taehyung’s apartment, they always ended up with their fingers daring to roam through each other’s bodies.

Taehyung has reached his climax twice already thanks to Jeongguk. 

The first time it happened was on a Monday morning, supposedly when they were on a tutoring session. They’d ended up in Jeongguk’s bed, with Taehyung’s slacks rolled down and his hard cock in Jeongguk’s mouth. The second time it had been in his studio apartment, on the third night they spent together. Their kisses turned heated slowly, and one thing led to another, and they ended up masturbating together. Jeongguk ended up jerking them both until they had their orgasms.

Taehyung had been dreaming of what was next ever since then.

It was the perfect opportunity for it now.

Jeongguk's parents weren’t set to arrive until after lunch time, and it was still early. They had more than enough to do anything before Jeongguk drove Taehyung home.

“Yep,” he pops the p. 

The youngest chuckles. “You can’t possibly be telling me you want to fuck in such an adorable way.”

One of the things Taehyung really liked about Jeongguk was how he was never ridiculed for not knowing much about how relationships worked, because although Jeongguk wasn’t the most expert in the field, he knew about what being with someone entailed.

Jeongguk wasn’t very keen in teaching him about what he was already acquainted with. Instead, he always let Taehyung explore and find by himself the things he believed might feel nice.

“Lemme take these off,” Jeongguk says after a few seconds, grabbing his glasses between his fingers and slowly removing them, leaving them on the nightstand. “You’re so handsome.”

Taehyung finds himself smiling fondly.

And then, when Jeongguk, whose arms are holding his weight at each side of Taehyung’s head, slowly rolls his hips against his, he gasps. 

“Can you feel it, hyung?” Jeongguk mutters, bottom lip trapped between his teeth. His hooded eyes meet Taehyung’s when he says, “You make me like this. It’s because of you.”

He gnaws on his bottom lip, slowly roaming his hands through Jeongguk’s arms, feeling the muscles of his biceps between his fingers.

Taehyung cranes his neck, allowing Jeongguk to brush his lips against his neck, pressing open mouthed kisses right under his jawbone and carefully nibbing at a patch of skin at the conjecture of his neck. 

Jeongguk is precise with his movements, hips meeting Taehyung’s every few seconds in a leisure roll. Their breathings are slowly deepening in a way it showcases just how quickly aroused they’re getting.

It feels like Taehyung’s lower lip will bleed anytime by how hard he’s pressing his teeth into it.

“Jeongguk-ah,” he sighs into his boyfriend’s head, tightly gripping the strands that fall long over his nape. “I want you to—”

His words fall short once Jeongguk stares into his eyes. “You want me to…?”

He nods vigorously. “Yes,” he blinks, rubbing his thumb against the apples of Jeongguk’s cheeks. “Please. I want you.”

Jeongguk beams.

“I’ll make you feel so good, hyung.” 

The way their clothes end up on the floor is seemingly rushed, but Jeongguk is soft despite his clear excitement; running his fingertips over Taehyung’s body in such a tender way it has him whining quietly, feeling overstimulated though they’ve done nothing at all.

In quiet murmurs, Jeongguk says such sweet things that make the tip of his ears flush red. 

You are so handsome, as he was rubbing his palms through his torso; or you smell so good, as his nose nuzzled into his neck; or—the best one according to Taehyung—I want to wake up by your side for the rest of my life, in between kisses. Mainly, because it’s proof that he isn’t the only one excited about their future.

When there are no garments in either of their bodies and they are hidden away of the cold breeze of the AC in Jeongguk’s room by the sheets of the younger’s bed, Taehyung feels suddenly shy.

His cock is hard against his lower stomach, and his nipples feel so rigid, too, when Jeongguk rubs them between the pad of two fingers. 

Jeongguk, from where he kneels between the space of Taehyung’s legs, is affected, too. Fingers toying with the lube he recently grabbed from his nightstand, disheveled hair, lip caught between his teeth, hooded eyes and a bright bead covering his cockhead.

Unknowingly, almost as if by reflex, he throws an arm over his face.

“Hands off your face,” Jeongguk groans softly. When Taehyung gazes at his face, he sees furrowed brows. “Please, let me see you. I want to. I need to.”

And Taehyung finds out that he doesn’t want to miss a single thing, either.

Jeongguk is quick at uncapping the lube, and hurries to get some on his fingers, as well. However, there’s a clear languidness in the way he warms the substance.

“I will—Now. Yeah?”

Taehyung nods, scratching softly at his stomach. “Please.”

And then, when Jeongguk rubs at his opening with the pad of his thumb, Taehyung squeezes his eyes at the same time he gnaws on his bottom lip.

“Hey,” Jeongguk calls. Taehyung doesn’t look at him, but hums. “You need to tell me. You will tell me. Right? If— uhm… if something feels bad. Okay?”

“Kiss me,” Taehyung demands.

And Jeongguk leans over him, struggling a little with the angle, but slotting their lips together once he begins gently prodding at his hole with his fingertip. Taehyung moans silently, and Jeongguk swallows such a beautiful sound.

In the span of the following five minutes, one lonely digit turns into three: index, mid, and ring finger; stretching him open in the most delicate way and making him see stars whenever they rub into that soft spot. A loose palm wraps over Taehyung’s cock, simply holding him steady.

Taehyung, against being loud, puts his hand over his mouth. 

Jeongguk’s pinky gets in the mix, as well, and Taehyung would’ve had no idea if Jeongguk hadn’t quite informed him of such in a breathy tone.

“Fuck, Taehyung. I— is four enough? Fuck,” he groans. “I could easily— oh my god. You’re so tight, baby. But so… shit. You’re awesome.”

Much of what he says is blabber in Taehyung’s ears.

“Yeah. Four’s good. More than,” he places his hand over Jeongguk’s shoulder, fingernails scratching his omoplates kind of harshly when his fingers rub into his spot again. “Fuck me. Please.”

He feels empty once Jeongguk retrieves his hand. 

He feels even more turned on once he sees him taking a condom. 

The wrapper is quickly thrown to the side; latex going over Jeongguk’s hard cock in a swift but precise movement. Jeongguk’s brows furrow once he sloppily strokes himself, lubing himself up.

Jeongguk supports his own weight with a hand by Taehyung’s head, his other hand holding his cock as he lines it up. The blunt pressure of the tip against his hole makes Taehyung throw his head back, catching some of the long hairs by Jeongguk’s nape in his fist.

“Good?”

Taehyung wants to die. 

“Yes,” he purses his lips, trying to meet Jeongguk’s though he has no idea where he is—how close they are, how far they are. “Kiss me.”

And Jeongguk quickly does. Again.

Having Jeongguk’s lips on his makes it easy to forget about the stupidly-weird-but-awkwardly-pleasing feeling down there. It makes it so damn smooth, when Jeongguk begins unhurriedly rolling his hips. Taehyung feels everything, but at the same time, he doesn’t feel much.

All he knows for a while is pleasure. And he’s never felt something as… amazing.

Both his lips and chin are spit-slicked once Jeongguk murmurs amidst the kiss, “‘s all in.”

How long has it passed? Taehyung feels dizzy. In the best way possible.

“Oh,” is all he can find within himself to say.

Jeongguk sucks his bottom lip in. His voice sounds funny, coy, when he announces, “I won’t last long, hyung.”

Taehyung tenderly pinches the back of his neck, giggling slowly. “Same.”

Jeongguk pecks at him shortly. On his bottom lip. On the right corner, and also on his chin. The tip of his nose. Then, he nuzzles his face into his neck, inhaling deeply, as if he wanted to get Taehyung’s smell engraved somewhere deep in his mind.

A patch of the skin on his neck is bitten right before Jeongguk commences swaying his hips.

All that’s on his mind, along with the satisfaction of feeling Jeongguk’s cock sliding back inside him, is the thought that after this is over, he’ll have the print of Jeongguk’s teeth in his neck for him to remember what they did. It will only last a few days—but Taehyung doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to forget such a day. Mornings have never felt better. Knowing that both he and Jeongguk want the rest of their days to begin like this is enough for his lips to curl up.

“Feels good?” 

Suddenly, Jeongguk murmurs into his ear. 

Taehyung turns his head, foolish smile brushing against Jeongguk’s cheek. “Wonderful.”

Jeongguk gazes into his eyes with his hooded stare and bright gleam. 

The smile in his lips pulls Taehyung in.

When their lips are locked once again, Taehyung decides to wrap a leg around Jeongguk’s hips, pulling him closer. For some reason, he wants to feel him as deep as possible. Very close. 

It feels better like that.

Taehyung accidentally bites Jeongguk’s bottom lip when the tip of Jeongguk’s cock presses there once he cants his hips the tiniest bit harder. The rocking of his hips continues in that same pace—hard—for the following minutes, until Taehyung feels a special tightness in his balls.

Jeongguk, after noticing how Taehyung clenches around him and stops kissing him, clearly with his head somewhere else, becomes even more vocal.

“You’re close? Yeah, hyung. You can come. Of course,” he says. Taehyung doesn’t answer, but that doesn’t stop Jeongguk and his reassuring words. “I love watching you come. You always, always look beautiful. My sweet boy. Fuck, Taehyung—” And Taehyung thinks he’s only saying stuff to bring him closer. Until he, quietly, murmurs into his lips, “I’m so in love with you.”

And, stupidly, it’s enough.

Taehyung hisses into his mouth as the cum spurs out of his cock, falling over both of their tummies. His palms tenderly cradle Jeongguk’s jaw, guiding him into his neck.

Jeongguk loses his rhythm, clicking his tongue when it becomes too much. 

Taehyung feels him pulse inside him as he reaches his climax, and—each feeling, each sensation is better than the last one. Fuck. 

And Jeongguk— he doesn’t shut up.

There are clearly no walls up anymore, and there might be a chance he believes Taehyung isn’t listening. Or, maybe, he is aware Taehyung always hears him and never judges him, and is why he doesn’t bother to keep those clearly too loud thoughts to himself.

“You make me so…” Jeongguk trails off. His puffs of air feel hot against Taehyung’s throat. “I’m sorry. For what happened between us in the past. I know I said it already. But, god. Never feels enough. And— I love you. A lot,” he chuckles. A beat. And then, even quieter than before, mutters. “Please, love me.”

It’s instant, the way the words seem to finally find him.

“I do,” Taehyung breathes out. “I love you so much.”

Jeongguk slowly kisses his way up to Taehyung’s face, tickling him.

The moment Jeongguk is hovering over him, Taehyung notices the ever-so present softness in his pretty eyes.

“It’s not just because of this,” Jeongguk looks down at the space between their bodies, gesturing with the purse of his lips. “It’s because it’s you.”

He’s known for a long time that it has nothing to do with Jeongguk wanting to get something from him. However, having a confirmation, though he didn’t need it, is nice.

Taehyung hopes the tender brush of his fingers into Jeongguk’s scalp is enough to reassure him wordlessly that he doesn’t think so. That he has never thought such a thing.

“I love you,” he says with a smile.

When Taehyung shuts his eyes to kiss Jeongguk, his lips clash into a toothy grin and—

Damn. Taehyung really is in love.

 

—

 

Another Thursday at the Jeon household, and things are the same as they’ve been for the past month and a half since he and Jeongguk became something. Since you and I turned into a we. A pack. A couple. A projection.

The past six weeks have been everything for Taehyung. 

He’s never felt happier, and he knows it’s dangerous. The possibility of something happening between them that could ruin the plans they make late at night when Jeongguk stays over at his studio apartment is one thing he doesn’t like to think about. 

He would really love moving in with Jeongguk, marrying him, cooking dinner together while they take care of their adopted dog(s) and speak about having kids while they discover the world together.

The thought makes him smile, and Jeongguk notices.

Instead of bringing it up, because the door of the dining room is left ajar while the maid is cleaning and Jeongguk’s younger siblings are playing hide and seek, Jeongguk rubs his shin underneath the table with the tip of his bare feet.

“So,” he begins quietly. His gaze darts towards the door, picking up a random pen from the table, using it as a distraction so he doesn’t do something stupid like fucking bending over the table to peck Jeongguk’s lips. “I think you’re good to go for your Monday exam.”

Jeongguk cocks an eyebrow. “You think so?”

“I know so,” he can’t help the stupid grin that plasters over his face. “So—” he facepalms. He’s said the same crutch word twice already. It’s obvious how nervous he is. “I don’t think we should meet on Monday.”

“No. We definitely need to meet on Monday.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes. Really. 

Quietly, and after looking twice at the door, he looks down while murmuring. “We’ll be meeting on Monday. After your classes are done. We kind of have a date, don’t we?”

“Yeah, but…” Jeongguk sing-songs. “We could also meet early. I could come to yours, if you want me to.”

He laughs. “You’re going to get tired of me so easily if we see each other that often.”

Jeongguk doesn’t have time to say something before one of his siblings comes barging in, but Taehyung can see it in the expression in his features.

Impossible. 

The little girl hangs around for a while, asking Jeongguk what the numbers written on the sheets mean, and Taehyung feels like a proud father at hearing Jeongguk correctly and appropriately explain the terms.

Taehyung is putting his stuff into his bag when Mr. Jeon suddenly barges into the dining room with his youngest son hanging by his arm. He amicably greets Taehyung with a nod, and Taehyung bows shortly.

Neither Jeongguk nor the girl care about their father’s presence until the man clears his throat.

“We’ll go out for lunch tomorrow,” Mr. Jeon informs while glancing between him and Jeongguk. His oldest son nods, humming while letting loose his sister’s braided hair. “Taehyung’s invited.”

Taehyung almost chokes, dropping the straps of his bag as he opens his eyes widely. “Uh?”

Jeongguk giggles, though it’s obvious he’s surprised as well. “Is he?”

Freezed in place, all Taehyung can do is glance at the guy sitting in front of him, whose eyes finally meet his dad’s, who is ruffling the youngest boy’s hair with his right hand.

The smile on Mr. Jeon’s face is so kind it actually baffles Taehyung. Even more so when he says,

“I’m sure your grandma would love to meet your boyfriend, Jeongguk.”

Notes:

this was supposed to be for a fest last year, but I didn't finish it in time, and while procrastinating writing my actual fic I found this in my drafts and got inspired to finish it. english isn't my first language so my apologies. thanks for reading :)