Chapter Text
i lose my breath, you take it away
Friday, July 9, 2027
It’s a mild summer evening. The air is warm and the sun is still pleasantly lingering on the skin. The small lake in front of the large wooden cabin moves only gently. Birds are chirping all around, wrapping the entire place in sound; so different from the city, where everything is far too loud and hectic. At least until Chris hears another noise to his right.
He glances over at Leon, who’s lying on one of the three wooden loungers. The book he had just been reading now rests on his chest, his eyes closed, his mouth slightly parted. Chris realizes that Leon S. Kennedy is quietly snoring.The man whose roundhouse kicks send zombies flying into the next outbreak, the man whose hands can crush skulls, the man that is seen as the government’s most dangerous weapon… is snoring. He looks so gentle and peaceful that no one would ever guess what he’s capable of. His hair falls across his forehead, and the setting sun makes his face appear even softer. Chris would love to take a picture, but at the same time, he doesn’t want to ruin the moment – or risk waking Leon up.
An involuntary warmth spreads through him. It’s been there since China, always shows up whenever his path crosses Leon’s. It took him some time to understand what that feeling meant: he likes Leon; more than he should.
Leon has changed over the 15 years. He’s become noticeably more muscular, his hair has grown a bit longer and slightly darker with a few gray strands. A few wrinkles mark his face now, along with light stubble. Chris knows Leon hates being thought of as a model, but he can’t really blame people who don’t know him and think he is one. Leon has the most beautiful light blue eyes Chris has ever seen. He has a straight, cute little nose, full lips, thick hair. And his jawline could cut diamonds. Then there’s his physique. Not an ounce of fat, only muscle. Yeah, Leon indeed looks like a model. And Chris is sure Leon knows it, too. But he also knows Leon doesn’t care, and that’s exactly why he hates being reduced to his looks. Because of course, Leon isn’t just his appearance – he has a heart and character made of gold. He puts others’ lives above his own, tries to help wherever he can… It’s hard not to fall for him.
“Uncle Leon!”
Chris is abruptly pulled from his thoughts as Rose runs toward them and practically throws herself at Leon. Leon startles awake, his book flying out of his hand. He immediately catches Rose, who bursts out laughing – just like Chris’s sister, who suddenly appears beside them.
“Hey, you two! No sleeping! We’ve got to start preparing dinner soon!” she says cheerfully.
“If this keeps happening, you’ll have to make dinner without me someday,” Leon grumbles sleepily, nodding toward Rose, who’s still giggling as she settles comfortably on his lap. He wraps his arms around her little waist.
“You’re not going to die. At least not from a heart attack,” Claire replies, placing her hands on her hips.
“I’m 49!” Leon protests.
“And yet you’re still fighting BOW’s as if you were 25,” Claire retorts, causing Leon to roll his eyes.
“And you’ve got nothing to say?” Claire asks her brother.
Chris looks at her and immediately knows she’s aware of what’s going on; at least on his side. Claire has known for quite some time that Chris sees Leon as more than just a friend.
I totally get it. He’s good-looking and has a heart of gold. Maybe you should give it a try.
And Chris would love to give it a try. The problem is, Leon has never shown any sign of being gay or bi. Instead, Chris knows Leon has a soft spot for a woman named Ada Wong. He defended her fiercely in China, and Chris will never forget the sadness in Leon’s voice when he told him Ada was dead. So yeah, Chris’s chances with Leon were never good, and they probably never will be. A sharp ache shoots through his chest, but he tries to ignore it.
“I don't have anything to say,” he replies with a shrug, as Leon stands up with Rose on his arm.
“I'm taking Rose to join the others,” he says, heading toward the cabin. He tickles the young girl as he walks, her laughter echoing through the woods. Chris can’t help but smile at the sight.
“How long are you going to keep it from him?” Claire suddenly asks as she sits down next to Chris on one of the wooden chairs.
Chris looks at her, confused. “What?”
Claire sighs in annoyance. “You know exactly what.”
“He’s not into men. And definitely not into me.” Chris shakes his head.
“Oh yeah? Says who?” Claire’s voice turns sharp, like it always does when something bothers her.
Now it’s Chris who exhales in frustration. “He’s never shown any signs.”
“And you have?”
Chris falls silent. Because she’s right. He’s done everything to stay in the shadows. Never letting anything show when Leon stood beside him, when the scent of his cologne filled Chris’s senses. Even though all he wanted was to kiss the life out of Leon.
“How is he supposed to know you like him if you don’t show any signs? Same goes for Leon. I’ve seen the looks he’s been giving you all day. And even if he’s never told me anything, I think you both are idiots. Neither of you wants to make the first move.”
For a moment, Chris just stares at his sister. “... He’s been looking at me?”
“Yes, you moron.” Claire says more gently now, getting up. “Talk to him. Maybe later, after we've finished dinner. And remember what Mom always said: nothing ventured, nothing gained.” She pats his shoulder before turning and heading back to the terrace.
And maybe she’s right. Maybe he should take the risk.
***
It’s late by now, the sun has already been replaced by the moon. Rose and Emily are asleep. Rebecca, Sherry and Grace are playing some card game, slightly tipsy. Chris is a little tipsy too. Since Edonia, he rarely drinks anymore, and he’s already feeling the effects of three glasses of whiskey. Claire and Jill are curled up together on the couch, and Claire throws him a gentle look.
Leon stepped outside a few minutes ago with a beer in hand. He’s sitting alone by the lake, his gaze fixed on the water. Chris straightens his shoulders and gives Claire a subtle nod. She winks.
“I’m gonna go keep Leon company,” he says, not waiting for a response. He quietly closes the wooden door behind him and heads toward the lake.
With every step, his heart beats faster, his hands growing sweatier. But Claire is right. He has to clear things up. And he’s ready to be rejected, because at least then, he’ll finally know where he stands.
“Hi, Chris,” Leon says as Chris stops behind him. Surprised, Chris looks at the back of Leon’s head.
“How–?” he starts to ask, but Leon interrupts him.
“The ground shook a little and the moon was obscured for a second,” he smirks, hinting at Chris’s physique.
Chris lets out an amused sound before sitting down next to Leon. The DSO agent sits with his legs slightly spread and bent, his arms resting on his knees. He’s holding the beer bottle in his right hand. He’s wearing the same outfit as a few hours ago: sweatpants that taper at the bottom and a shirt that highlighting his torso and arms. The moonlight illuminates his handsome face. Chris practically has to force himself to look away.
How can a man be this beautiful?
“Who do I owe it to that Christopher Redfield has joined me?” Leon asks after a moment of silence.
“Who do I owe it to that I’m allowed to sit next to Leon Scott Kennedy?” Chris counters, making Leon laugh softly. Goosebumps spread over Chris’s body. He wants to hear that beautiful sound again… and again… and again. Hearing Leon laugh is addictive, and so rare.
“Fair,” Leon replies, spinning the beer bottle between his fingers.
Now or never.
“Can I ask you something? About Ada?”
Abruptly, Leon’s fingers stop, the bottle no longer spins. Instead, his head turns. For the first time that day, Leon really looks at Chris. “What about her?” His words are almost sharp.
Totally screwed it up.
“I… I know she survived. That it was Carla who threw herself off the building.”
“And?”
You’re such an idiot, Redfield!
“Do you… I mean… are you still in contact … with her?” Chris stammers. He’s 53 but he acts like he’s fucking 13!
Leon looks away from Chris and sighs. Then he starts spinning the bottle again with his fingers. “Only on some missions. It was never anything explicit. We had dinner together in 2011, which led to sex. After that, she went back to her usual cat-and-mouse game with me. But I’m 49 now. I don’t wanna waste my time chasing a woman who enjoys playing with me. I’m done with her. Why are you asking?”
Chris swallows hard. Suddenly he’s not sure anymore whether he should really tell Leon the truth. Leon had sex with Ada. It doesn’t get any clearer than that. He is very likely only into women. Maybe Claire misread those looks.
“I just wanted to know if you’ve finally found happiness; with or without her.”
For a moment, their gazes meet before Leon gently shakes his head. “I’ll probably never find happiness. Not after the things I’ve seen. Not with the nightmares. Not with the question of why I’m still here while so many others didn’t make it. It’s gotten a bit better since I started seeing a therapist, but even she’ll never fully fix me. Because nobody can fully fix me if I’m part of the problem. And if it weren’t for Sherry, I wouldn’t still be here. I promised myself I’d keep going for her.” Automatically, Leon’s thumb brushes over the ring on his left ring finger.
Chris knows that ring. Claire wears it on her middle finger, Sherry on her pinky – a kind of family ring. At the same time, Leon’s words hit him like a bolt. He knows all of these things far too well himself. But he manages… as best as he can.
“There was one man in my squad in 2012. His name was Piers Nivans. I treated him like shit at times before I realized what an asshole I was. Still, he never left my side, he was loyal. And he sacrificed himself; for me and everyone else. I screamed at him, practically begged him to come with me. But his decision was made. I’ll never forget his last look.”
Just like Finn’s… and Ethan's.
Chris’s jaw tightens until he feels a hand on his shoulder. He looks over at Leon, whose expression is knowing. Nothing more needs to be said. They remain like that for a moment before Leon exhales deeply.
“So, what’s your favorite position during sex?” he suddenly asks bluntly.
Chris is sure that if he had been drinking at that moment, it would have come out of his mouth, and nose. Instead, his eyes just go wide. For a millisecond, his mind is blank. “W-what?” he stammers, feeling heat rush to his face. He’s grateful that the night is only lit by the moon.
Leon shrugs, completely unfazed. “Well, I figured before we drown in guilt, I’d change the subject.” He takes a sip from his beer.
Chris runs a hand through his short hair. “That’s… quite the abrupt and rough shift.” He lets out an awkward laugh.
“I like it rough.”
For a moment, Chris’s vision blurs. His chest feels like it’s filled with lava. Like he just ate the hottest chili in the world. His mouth is dry, and images that are definitely too explicit flash through his mind. Chris can handle a lot of things, but Leon might be too much for him. “You’re not drunk, are you?”
“No. But I think you’re cute when you’re flustered.” Leon grins mischievously, something evil flashes in his eyes. Then he leans closer. And before Chris can form a single clear thought, Leon kisses him. Chris doesn’t react. He’s too stunned, too overwhelmed. And so Leon pulls away again. He looks at Chris, a bit panicked, before jumping up and muttering a “Sorry.” All that’s left behind is the beer Leon set down on the ground. Three or four seconds pass before Chris is able to process what just happened. Then he jumps up as well.
“Leon!” He runs after him, but Leon doesn’t slow down.
“Leon, please! Wait!”
Leon actually stops, but he doesn’t turn around. And now is the moment where Chris stops thinking. He grabs Leon’s arms and gently turns him so their bodies are almost touching. They look at each other silently for a brief moment, then Chris takes a breath and starts speaking.
“Listen. I’ve wasted enough time and waited too long. You almost died of the T-virus last year, and I could honestly punch you for going off on your own again instead of involving me and letting me help you. What I’m trying to say is: we both have life-threatening jobs. Every mission could be our last, and I don't wanna be buried without you knowing that I’ve wanted you since China.” Chris is breathing faster than usual before he notices that Leon’s expression has softened. The next thing he registers is Leon’s hand gently resting on his hip. It encourages him to keep going.
“You’re so beautiful, inside and out, and I don’t know if I deserve you. Fuck, I don’t even know if you want me the way I–”
“Chris?” Leon interrupts him.
“Yes?”
“Stop talking and kiss me.”