Chapter Text
Any day now.
Any day Varric was expecting someone to burst through the doors of the Great Hall or his humble room and announce to him that Bianca had gone into labor. Nine months were up and any day now he would be a father.
He scrubbed at his face with his free hand, pushing around the letters on his table next to the fireplace. Most of the Inquisition were still in the Arbor Wilds dealing with Corypheus. He had to admit, while he hadn’t been keen on traveling to the forest with Morrigan, it still had to be better than being stuck at Skyhold. His heart ached as he thought about Cassandra, watching her leave for the Wilds without so much as a goodbye. Everything they had been working towards had been crushed and it left nothing but a bitterness that ached in his chest.
Trying to see his future without Cassandra in it was something he couldn’t seem to do.
He sat back in his chair, tossing his quill on top of the stack of papers and he let out a heavy sigh and stood up. He had been avoiding Bianca at all costs, but it was petty. He couldn’t punish his child for the wrongs she had done against him. And as it was, that kid would be the only person worth having in his future.
Varric turned and headed out the doors and down the steps, letting his feet carry him to the healers. He could look into buying a few things for the little one, some toys or maybe a bookshelf. Something.
The healer looked up from tidying a bed as Varric walked in. She recognized him, who wouldn’t around Skyhold? Well, perhaps she knew him a bit better than most, seeing as how she was also Bianca’s midwife. Part of her felt sorry for him. Rumors spread around Skyhold like wildfire and she knew his popularity had dropped since that incident with Bianca and the Seeker. But the healer felt it wasn’t her place to judge, so she offered him a smile as she glanced him over. “Did you need something?” she asked. “You don’t look hurt. Headache? Something else?”
Varric managed a sad smile for her. “If you have something for the pain I feel, we should go into business together. There’s a fortune to be had there.” He leaned against the bedpost as he watched her finish tucking the sheets under the mattress. “I just need to know Bianca’s due date. I know, I know, I’m terrible for not asking sooner. I just need to know if it will happen in the next few days or if I have a little bit longer to order a few things for our new addition.”
She gave a laugh as she smoothed the bed and straightened up, stretching her back a bit. “You men. You always want an exact answer for everything. Don’t you know there’s no way to tell an exact date for this sort of thing?” She shook her head as she moved about, busying herself with straightening potions as she talked to him. “I suppose we could try one of those old wives tales to predict when it’ll happen. You want me to tell you if it’s going to be a boy or a girl too?”
“No, no, it’ll ruin the surprise,” the dwarf chuckled at that and waved his hand at the woman, a smirk tugging at the edge of his lips, “I was just hoping for your best rough estimate. I mean, it’s been nine months already. You’ve probably delivered enough kids to give your best guess, right? I mean, I know it’s different for every woman, but you could give me your best guess, right?”
“Hmmm,” she hummed in agreement as she made herself a note that they were running low on elfroot. “I’ve delivered enough to know that she’s nowhere near nine months yet,” she said as she wrote more on the parchment. “You might want to recount. Bianca’s still got at least six more weeks to go if not more. She’s just seven months along. You’ve got plenty of time to order whatever you like for the little one.”
Varric frowned at her words, his brow furrowing. “After the expedition to the Hinterlands she insisted on was the very last time I was with her. Period. I don’t care what you might hear from anyone else. And that was at least nine, hell maybe even closer to ten months, ago.” He looked to her, watching her reaction, challenging what she had said. It was ridiculous. Human error.
She arched an eyebrow at him. “Are you sure?” she asked. “I know Bianca started showing early, and to most she probably looks like she’s ready to have that baby any minute, but I know what I’m talking about.” It didn’t add up in her head as she thought back. Bianca had told her everything about this pregnancy, but it didn’t matter what was said, there were some things you just couldn’t lie about. She swallowed at the look on Varric’s face, her stomach twisting in knots. “You… ah… m-might want to talk with Miss Davri…” she finally stammered, unsure of what else to say to him.
The ground lurched beneath Varric and he found himself scrabbling to grasp the nearby bedpost before he lowered himself to sit on the mattress, his vision fading away as the implications hit him.
He was not the father of Bianca’s child.
He was not the father.
Anger would have swept him away in a tide were it not for the immediate rush of sadness as he thought of Cassandra in the next moment. There was no way that the Seeker would even look at him again, let alone listen to him try to conveniently explain everything. Bianca had managed to take away everything from him.
“Ohhh, no you don’t,” the healer muttered under her breath as she quickly grabbed up a pitcher of water and poured a cup for him so fast half of it spilled over her hand. Varric looked like the blood had drained from his face and she was not about to watch him pass out on her. “Drink this,” she commanded and shoved the cup into his hand. “I’m sure there’s…” she trailed off. No, there really wasn’t an explanation. She grabbed up a book and fanned his face, trying to do anything she could to keep him from going into some sort of shock. “Breathe.”
The motion of the fan finally drew his attention back to reality and he reached out, catching the healer’s hand to stop her. He shook his head as he drank the water she had given him, his mind becoming numb as he thought about what the truth had to be. He stood up, pressing the cup back into her hands. “Thanks. I’ll be fine. I just,” he paused and looked towards the door, feeling more lost than ever. He needed to hear the truth, “need to go have that talk.”
Bianca’s brow furrowed as she concentrated on the tiny screw, adjusting it just right. Since her plan with Varric had backfired, she’d resigned herself to just spending her time here in the undercroft, working on her inventions. Dagna and Harrit didn’t seem to mind her presence, and though Dagna could be annoyingly cheery, she didn’t mind them either. Plus it was out of the way, most people didn’t bother to come in there, so she didn’t have to suffer the looks of everyone in Skyhold judging her all the time.
She let out a sigh as she finished adjusting the screw, then sat back. She turned to reach for a drink of water and let out a shriek of surprise. “Varric!” she gasped, seeing him standing over her. “You scared me.”
Varric wanted to be angry with her. He could feel it just beneath the surface, but he couldn’t reach it. So he stood there, studying her for a moment before he finally met her eyes. He could see it. The gears of her mind turning away like they always did. The fire and passion for her work that could not be extinguished. She was a woman who got what she wanted. No matter the cost.
“I’m leaving Skyhold.”
The tool slipped from her hand and clattered to the stone floor with a resounding ring. “What?” she breathed as she struggled to get to her feet. “Varric… why?” she asked, her eyes narrowing in confusion. She reached to touch his arm, but he moved out of her grasp before she could even touch the sleeve of his coat. She swallowed and lowered her hand, but she wasn’t about to just let him leave like that. “Talk to me. What in the world is going on? Why would you leave?”
“Bianca,” he whispered harshly, the emotions evident in his voice, “Stop. Just stop. I am not doing this any more. I know about the kid.” He studied her face, feeling that deep numbness inside of him growing with each passing second.
Her expression faltered for a minute. How could he… oh shit. To be fair, when she’d first come to Skyhold, the whole plan hinged on him just taking her in without a second thought. When he hadn’t, she’d tried desperately to make it work. She hadn’t taken into consideration that they would get this far without him taking her back. But he was smart and she couldn’t pull the wool over his eyes forever. “Varric, I…” She trailed off, unsure of what to say. “This wasn’t the way I meant for all of this to go.”
Varric closed his eyes at the admission. “I loved you, once. So much that I thought I would do anything to keep you happy, but this?” He looked back at her, feeling his throat catch. “Go back to Bogdan. He’ll want to know he’s the real father.” Half of him wanted to shout at her, to break something, anything, to show her how much she had hurt him. Be that as it was, he couldn’t see any hate in her eyes towards him. Just the same Bianca as always. Hawke’s voice echoed in his head, things had changed.
Bianca shook her head. “He’s not-” She clamped her mouth shut before she could finish the sentence, but it was too late. Her stomach turned unpleasantly and she breathed hard through her nose as she took a step back. She couldn’t even look at Varric now. Everything had gone wrong. One bad decision led to another, one lie followed the next, and now she’d dug herself so deep she could barely remember how it all started now. But it didn’t matter, because in the end, she’d lost. She lost her husband, she lost Varric, she’d lost her shop. “Dammit,” she choked out, her voice a whisper as she scrubbed at her eyes.
Those two simple words reached Varric as though he were in a tunnel and the sounds around him were muffled. The sense of betrayal only grew larger as the picture became clearer to him. The desperation Bianca must have felt, a need to do anything to bring the two of them together again. The cost was too high. He let out a heavy sigh, “Josephine is handling the paperwork of the place I found for you. She’ll let you know when it’s ready. Shouldn’t be more than a few more days.” He watched as the red faced Bianca scrubbed at her tears, but he couldn’t bring himself to feel anything for her. “Don’t contact me again.”
Guilt washed over her and she nearly choked on the emotion. “You… you don’t have to,” she managed to get out. Even after everything, he was still going to make sure that she was taken care of. She swallowed and took several deep breaths to try to calm herself. Maker damn it all. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go, how it was supposed to end. She wanted to beg him to stay, to tell him how sorry she was, but there was no use. With great effort, she forced herself to look at him and nearly cringed at the numb look in his eyes. “Varric,” she whispered, fearing her voice would break, “I’m sorry.”
Varric let himself look at her for a moment, all the memories they had together. The good times and bad. Yet, the wound she had inflicted this time was far too great. “I hope you find your happiness,” he said quietly before he turned back towards the door, “Goodbye, Bianca.”