Chapter Text
It had been 2 and a half weeks since the first astrophage samples were taken out of the collection vessel and samples shared with other scientists now they were deemed harmless (for the record I’m still not happy about being the test subject for that Stratt ) so far we know what they are made of and how they breed. The question is how do we get them to do it on the scale they need. That is currently my task.
Ok I’ll admit over the last week or two I may have been neglecting sleep a little. An all nighter here an all nighter there. But I get a couple of hours every other night or so, so it’s all good. It’s oddly reminiscent of my PhD days just with more expensive ramen and higher stakes.
I am currently on hour 39 without sleep of this current stint, but I’m just starting to get somewhere with this breeder design. I can’t stop now, im too far into it. Stratt and Carl check up on me every so often, the latter bringing me much appreciated coffee most times. I’m pretty sure stratt only comes to check progress and make sure I havnt bolted yet but I appreciate the company anyway.
With a dramatic chair spin I flick the switch on the IR emitter to begin test number 37? I don’t even know anymore, already preparing to start working on the next plan. But to my surprise the astrophage moves to the mock Venus and others to mini sun. I run it agin. And again. And again. Every time it works.
Holy shit (sue me this moment is too big to sensor ).
In my haste to write it all down I knock over my, now cold, half drunk coffee spilling it all over my papers. Sugar….. I use my sleeve to wipe it up, my hands shaking, is that the adrenaline. No probably the , now , 49.5 hours without sleep . Scribble the number down. With this rate of increase we could have the required amount of astrophage in half the original suggested time. Just wait till stratt finds out. Omg stratt. I grab my phone and call her as quick as my shaking fingers allow.
“Dr Grace ?” I hear her monotone response. Although she sounds confused and a little groggy. A quick glance at the wall tells me why. It’s 5.30am. All the normal people are asleep right now. Oooops.
Oh well she’ll get over it when I tell her we don’t need 1 year and 1 month anymore. Because with this method under optimal conditions and provided the ship is ready.
“We can do it in 8 “
“What ?“ she’s more awake but still confused.
OH right context. I often forget this far into my insomniac state that others can’t hear my thought process.
“I found a quicker way to breed it. With this one we can get the required amount in just 8 months and 11 days. Give or take a day “
“Are you in the lab “
“Yes why ?”
I get no response and she ends the call. Well done, it’s lovely to speak to you Grace I think. Oh why thank you stratt lovely speaking with you too. I laugh a little at my own conversation. Like stratt would ever waste that many seconds on pleasantries.
“DR GRACE !” I startle as she calls for me. How long had she been standing there ?.
“Sorry I was thinking. When did you get here “
I think I see her mouth move slightly almost as if she was about to smile. Now I know i need sleep. Damn. “I could see that. Only a few minutes, are you ok ? “ there’s a hint of concern in her voice and it’s honestly a little unsettling.
I respond with a quick ye of course, wanting to change the subject rather quickly. I then show her my work. She nods in approval and I feel pride swell a little in me. Ok I definitely need sleep I laugh.
Stratt shoots a concerned look again. Fudging hell I must have laughed out loud again.
She checks my numbers and looks at me stunned. “ irs a little messy but I’m pretty confident in it” I say, suddenly a little self conscious.
The next hour passes in a blur of paperwork and phone calls. And suddenly I become aware of about 30 people all looking at me including stratt who is moving to the side as if she wanted me to take her place. Im in the conference room ? When did I get here ? “Errrm “ I say not quite sure what is needed of me.
I expect her to sigh and tell me to pay attention but instead she looks at me with concern again. So does commander Yao and a couple of others whose names seem to have slipped my mind. Odd I’m usually pretty good at remembering them all (comes with the job when you’re a teacher really ). I don’t get why they’re all looking at me like that. I mean sure I’m no worlds sexiest man but the sleep deprivation can’t have made it much worse can it ? “I said you would tell them how you managed to speed up the breeding process “ she repeats unusually gently.
For the next 15 or was it 30 mins mins I stumble through my explanation and a couple of questions loosing my train of thought a few times. I’m not sure what answers I give to the questions or if they’re any use. Everything feels slow like walking through honey. Voices muffled like I’m underwater. I wish I was, the feeling of floating and the relaxing sounds of waves. I would kill for that.
Woah….. ok. I just got hit with the most intense feeling of static in my brain. So much that I stumble slightly and grip the edge of the podium.
Ok focus
breath in
Out
In
Out
My eyes are closed, focusing mostly on my breathing and locking my knees so that thr jelly I call legs does collapse beneath me.
I feel hands gently grab my shoulders. They’re small, so probably a woman , but not forceful. They guide me gently and I let them. I don’t quite know why but something in my brain tells me it’s safe. I feel something behind my knees. And the hands push me down. They want me to sit. So I do. I blink a couple of times and the world refocuses. The room is empty besides me and …. Stratt ? It must have been her hands guiding me. I wonder when all the people left, I was pretty sure this room was full a second ago.
It’s now my turn to look at her with worry. “You with me “ she asks emotion showing in her voice. Now I know she’s worried if her mask of indifference is slipping this bad. I nod slowly but before I can even attempt to think of responding verbally a 6ft guy, who I recognise as the security that never speaks, I think his name is Steve walks in hands Stratt a bottle of water and leaves silently. Weird. She unscrews the cap and passes it to me.
“Here sip this slowly “. I take it without argument and do as she says. The water is cold on my lips. I take a few more sips before deciding I should probably say something. I swallow thickly.
“Sorry” I mumble “ did everyone get the new method “. She huffs and shakes her head “forget about that right now, I’m more worried About you “ . “ I think m a li’le out of pract’ce. I’ve not done this whole sleep depr’vation thing since univ’rsi’y. “ I mutter attempting to lighten the tense mood but my words come out more slurred than I wanted.
“We’ll discuss this more later” she gives me a stern glance that says this is not up for debate. “But right now we need to get you some sleep “
She takes the bottle from my hand delicately as if handling a bomb, and places it on the table. “You think you can stand long enough to get somewhere more comfortable “ No. I feel like a puppet whose strings have been cut. I don’t even think I can lift my eyelids anymore let alone my body. I don’t say this of course. Instead I say.
“‘f course “ not waning to seam weak in front of, essentially my boss and essentially the most powerful person in tbr world right now.
I can tell neither of us believe it but she agrees anyway. Hovering her arms by me as I slowly stand. I sway slightly and her hands rush to steady me. We slowly shuffle into the halfway her presence beside me radiating worry. We get about half way down the hallway before I realise this was a mistake. My vision blacks out and my body feels like it’s made of pins and needles. Oh no.
“ ‘va “ I struggle to get her name out but she understands anyway and looks at me. “Think’immabout to pasout” the words all mix into one.
She looks at me blankly for a second before she translates what I just said. But it’s too late. My body is done. I have no more adrenaline or energy whatsoever.
My legs give out and I fall to the floor in a very undignified manner. My back slamming against the wall of the hallway. I can see Stratt appear in my line of site. She’s saying something but I can’t make it out. Eurgh I can’t figure it out it makes my head hurt. She’s getting more agitated by my lack of response and she starts tapping me on the cheek. I want to respond and tell her I’m just gonna take a short nap, but my eyes are closing and my body shutting down before I have change to.
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My eyes feel like lead, they don’t want to open. I open them anyway.
I blink a few times before I realise I’m in my room. My head hurts and my mouth is dry. What the hell happened. Ilyukhina didn’t convince me to go drinking again did she ?
I push myself up .
“Morning sleeping beauty “ I startle. Stratt was sat at my desk surrounded by papers. How had I missed that. Still disoriented I don’t reply instead I choose to shoot her a baffled look. She doesn’t react.
“How are you feeling ? “ she asks.
“Like ..” I’m cut off my an incredibly painful coughing fit. How had I not realised how dry my thought was. A glass of water is pressed to my lips. When had she even got up, it was starting to spook me how silently she moved. I gulp the water greedily. “Slow sips “ she says. Her tone is gentle yet she knows she means it as a command. So he follows it. After I drank 3/4 of the glass she puts it down.
“We’ll try that again shall we. How are you feeling “.
“Like I just got run over by a lorry then dropped into the Grand Canyon and run over by a stampede” I respond. It seemed like the most accurate response. Stratt huffed which by her standards is basically a full body cackle. I can’t help but smile back.
It seems though this Joy is short lived as she immediately starts lecturing me. “Over 52 hours ryland. 52! It’s not healthy. What on Earth were you thinking “ I look away ashamed. “I jusy wanted to help. To show everyone I was meant to be here “ I whisper, embarrassed to admit it out loud. A part of me hopes she won’t hear it. But she does, of course she does.
“I picked you for a reason. You are intelligent and strong willed and you may not think it but you are the most qualified for the job” I wasn’t sure I was hearing those words correct. Maybe I was still asleep and this was all a dream.
My face feels wet. I’m crying. I’m actually crying in front of her. God this is embarrassing. I curl my legs into my chest and wrap my arms around them in an attempt to sooth myself. It is not successful.
Stratt perches on the edge of my bed causing it to dip. I’m slightly confused why she did this. But what happened next completely baffles me.
She pulls me into a hug. I cry more. my brain still slightly deprived ,despite being asleep for almost 12 hour, is feeling a tad emotional right now. The way she hugs me feeling warm and dare I say maternal sends me over the edge.
As the crying dies down I feel myself drifting off once again. Stratt notices this.
“Get some more sleep Ryalnd you need it. I’ll be here when you wake “. She says getting up and walking back to the desk. I smile I’m not sure when I went from dr Grace to Ryland (probably when I dissolved into an undignified mush of a person in tbr hall ) but I like it.
With the calming sound of her pen scratching across paper I drift of once more.