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“No, don’t go there! That’s a military lane, it’s restricted space.”
The ship trembles and groans as Trace’s eyes dart around in confusion.
Just pull up! Go to the right, to the transport lane.
They’re running out of time, Trace’s frantic clicking of buttons and pulling on the controls aren’t helping. The two sisters keep arguing, trying to seem less suspicious without actually doing anything to solidify that.
The center console rings with a hail.
Kark.
“Don’t answer that,” Ahsoka commands.
“We have to!”
“No, you don’t.”
Too late, Trace’s already rambling on over the line. These two! Never listening when she gives them a reasonable and logical solution. It’s like they want to blow up every step of an already horrible plan.
When did I start to sound like Obi-Wan? She shoves that thought and all the memories it drags up away to deal with later. Right now she has to get herself and the Martez’s out of this without peeling away the walls she’s built over the months for her own protection.
Rafa has taken over the comm and is giving an excuse as to why they accidentally flew here. Admiral Yularen isn’t buying her act and it’s angering him further. Because of course it has to be Yularen—who she used to trick and ignore as he tried to wrangle her along with most of the 501st.
Above all, he would recognize her voice so she can’t even intervene with one of her usual excuses that law enforcement and military accept.
She was about to slap her hand down and cut off the transmission when he said something she never wanted to hear again.
“I’m sending a dispatch, you’re being detained for questioning on the account of—” Treason. She shakes her head. She’s not guilty, didn’t kill that woman or is facing execution over a misunderstanding.
Don’t be stuck in the past.
Ahsoka focuses back on what he’s saying. “—operating without a ship registry, piloting without a license, unauthorized entering of restricted air-space, and failure to identify yourselves to a Republic authority figure.”
Her first thought is: yeesh, he must be in a bad mood. The second is: this can’t be happening.
“Please remain stationary as the clone troopers dock and board.”
Ahsoka doesn’t want to see the too-familiar inside of the Destroyer, doesn’t want to face the Admiral and see the brothers. See Anakin, who she’s worked so hard to shut out, to not accept his help and forge her own path. Maybe they’ll get off with a slap on the wrist but if not, Anakin won’t let her get arrested.
It makes her so mad that having friends in high places means you get to tip the scales of justice. It’s too much power to one set of people, regardless if they just want to do good.
She doesn’t want his help—doesn’t need it anymore—doesn’t want special treatment because she’s not a Jedi or commander.
The Silver Angle shudders as the Nu-class shuttle attaches.
Ahsoka groans, burying her face in her hands. Rafa blows out an agitated sigh and moves to glare out the viewport.
“I’m sorry,” Trace mumbles with her head bowed.
Rafa waves a hand in acknowledgment. “It’s fine sis, whatever. We didn’t need that business or anything.”
Trace snaps her head up, mouth open to defend herself when they hear the access hatch slide open along with heavy boots smacking the floor. Maybe it won’t be anyone she knows. That hope would be short lived once she’s actually on the ship and is recognized. She can’t decide what would be better, ripping off the bandaid now or later.
When the cockpit door slides open she knows it doesn't matter. As the unfamiliar clones put cuffs on them and take them onto the transport none of it matters. She will never be able to escape her past because it’s all over the newsreels, plastered on posters, and floating in the sky. In a galaxy so vast she can’t seem to leave behind the all powerful Jedi because she can’t get off kriffing Coruscant without running into them.
Somehow, someway, (a Force-forsaken miracle) she makes it to a holding cell without being stopped and shamed for leaving. The blue shield goes up, sealing her escape off.
Rafa’s on one side and Trace is on the other. She’s thankful they can’t see each other and that they haven’t picked up on her nerves. Thank the stars they aren’t force sensitive. There’s a tense silence pact between them and Ahsoka’s not going to be the one to break it.
It’s ironic, the way she’s put so many criminals in cells like this and now she's in here instead of walking up to the hangar bay or the training room. Again. This better not become a theme.
She flops down onto the uncomfortable bench with a sniff. Popping a knee up, she rests her elbow on it and reminds herself not to get nostalgic with the setting. It’s a ship. The one she basically grew up on. Where she organized parties in the mess and played games with Fives and pranks on Skyguy.
The place she thought she would never see again.
It’s the same brig that Kix threatened to throw her in when she did a particularly dangerous stunt.
A fond smile lifts her lips at another memory. One that she loved to look back on. It was late, 0200 probably, after a brutal campaign. She was still new to the war, trying to learn the ins and outs of the ships while getting to know the men and proving herself worthy of leadership. Especially being the Chosen one’s padawan.
She had snuck along the corridors, silent and stealthy, until she reached the cafeteria. The main lights weren’t on but there was a warm radiance coming from the doors. Inside, she heard laughter and the tell-tale clink of glasses.
She had a moment of bravery and entered, immediately putting them at ease so they wouldn’t stand and salute. It was a habit of theirs that took a long time to break them of around her.
They had pushed the tables away and laid down blankets, creating a fort-like structure and a large circle of clones. Lamps bathed them in a golden glow, each had a blanket and can of beer.
She had taken a step back, not wanting to intrude if this was a clone custom, but Rexter had shot her a lopsided grin and patted the spot next to him. She had slipped in and huddled down next to him. With the rumbly chuckle she had come to expect from him, he had pulled his blanket over her lap as well.
They stayed like that for a long while, the other clones chatter continued and she soaked it all in.
The way Fives told stories with vigor, how Kix always had a quip about their recklessness. Echo only added something when he thought Fives was telling it wrong and they would bicker until Rex sighed and rolled his eyes toward Ahsoka.
Hardcase was open and had the most contagious laugh, always drawing the others in. Jesse also had a flair for the dramatics, but would mock offense to scare you into thinking he was serious. That along with Tup and Dogma, they were quite a group.
They stayed awake for hours, nobody volunteered to leave. It was the first time they called her their vod’iak. The first time she saw them grieve the brothers they lost and band together to honor their memory.
They laughed and cried and sat sleepy-eyed together. It was the first time Ahsoka felt like she belonged here. With her family.
It became a tradition that they would do after each campaign but before they went on planetside leave. Ahsoka looked forward to those nights the most, when she was surrounded by her buir vod. Eventually Anakin joined them and even Obi-Wan and some of the 212th when they were on assignment together. But that first time is what she holds dearest. It was of a simpler time, before she fully understood the burden they all carried.
She shakes her head, trying to clear it. All those things are in the past. She doesn’t have that anymore and can’t keep running back to it.
Looking up, she pays attention to the surroundings that have been burned into her.
Every five minutes a guard will pass by. She doesn’t plan on doing anything with the information but it’s easier to keep track of something instead of sitting still, waiting for anything to happen. Even if she’s memorized the schedules by heart.
A grand total of fifteen minutes is how long she sits in the cell before she feels his presence.
The familiar, protective, determined, and loving emphasis of Rex warps around her. She flicks her eyes up as the doors to the larger chamber open and he steps through, Jesse and Kix trailing behind him.
She subconsciously sinks lower.
Will they be able to forgive her? For leaving? For abandoning everything they worked so hard to build amidst crumbling circumstances?
She doesn’t want to disappoint her big brothers. Will they even still think of themselves as that?
They stop in front of her cell, standing like an immovable wall. She hears Rafa and Trace scuttle up to the front of their holds to see what’s going on.
Like they’re going to ever trust her again if they find out about her past. That small comfort, no matter how annoying they are, that she felt at the prospect of having someone again is all but gone.
Rex slides his helmet off. She can’t bring herself to look in his eyes. Those dark brown eyes that she can’t help spilling her secrets to. So she keeps her head turned downward as the keypad reads his hand print and opens. She doesn’t hear him rush forward but suddenly he’s on his knees and his arms are around her. He pulls her forward, crushing her close to his solid frame.
At first she goes stiff, squeaking at the firmness of it until she realizes how much she’s missed this. Missed him and his bear hugs that he would never do in front of superiors.
Then she melts, wrapping her arms under his and burying her nose in his neck.
“Hey, Commandar,” he murmurs. The tears fall freely, costing her face and soaking into the top of his blacks. She’s sniffling, laughing, and choking in gasps of breath when she feels Jesse’s soft caress. She looks up from where she’s entangled and sees him crouched next to them, arm resting over her shoulders.
He gives her a sad smile, swiping at her tears stubbornly. Kix remains standing, not one for physical affection but when he strokes between her montrals it’s all she needed.
They’re here, she’s here, and they’re not mad. They’re not yelling or rubbing her betrayal in her face because they are next to her and welcoming her back. Her chest flutters at the prospect that she didn’t screw things up with them.
“Are you alright?” Trace’s concerned shout breaks her from the spell.
Regretfully, she pulls herself out of Rex’s embrace and steadies herself. The others follow suit and stand around her like they’re scared she’s going to disappear again if they back away.
“Yeah,” she breathes just loud enough for the sisters to hear. “I’m okay.”
“It’s good to see you sir, sorry for the mix up. The General’s going to be glad to see you.” Kix smirks at her.
She nods, unable to keep forming words with how her head’s spinning.
“Believe me, the shinies that couldn’t recognize their old CO are on ‘fresher duty for weeks,” Rex snaps.
“It’s okay, really, I didn’t identify myself and it’s been a while.”
“Always one to save a shinie,” Jesse jokes.
Rex points his head toward the exit. “Come on, let's get you out of here and settle this. Then we’ll get your friends.”
Ahsoka steps forward hesitantly, taking a deep breath to face the rest of the ship that haunts her. They walk by Rafa and Trace and Ahsoka tells them she’ll be back; that she’s going to settle the matter for them. Rafa wearily agrees, mostly because she doesn’t see any other way to get out of this one.
As they walk through the ship troopers stop, saluting and patting her on the back telling her it’s good to see her again. It makes her long for this again. She has to remind herself why she left in the first place. That it wasn't because of the 501st or Anakin—never them—but because of the council. The Order as a whole. They turned their back on her when it was convenient then tried to give her a promotion to cover it up. She couldn’t keep serving someone so ready to drop her.
Anakin though, he’s always been there for her. It wasn't his fault, he was a good master to her and proved her innocence. Without him she wouldn’t be alive. She keeps that in mind as they step onto the bridge.
Admiral Yularen spots her immediately, his eyes going wide before he gains composure again.
He strides to meet them. “Well, Tano, I can’t say I’m surprised at this. In fact, I probably should have known that just because you don’t have a rank to pull you’d still be finding your way to mischief.” He stretches out a hand and she chuckles while taking it.
“I guess I deserve that. It’s good to see you too.”
“And I suppose I’ll be dropping those threatened charges. Just remember, military space is for the military, young one.”
She gives a salute of her own. “Copy that, Sir.”
“I radioed General Skywalker, he should be up any moment.”
“Okay,” she croaks out while fidgeting with her fingers.
The admiral is called over to a station and leaves Ahsoka to spot the differences on the bridge. There aren’t many, if at all. She stands there until the hum of the consoles turn into the distant buzzing that always used to follow her.
The commotion around her fades away and even Rex, standing steadfast beside her, is distant. All she can hear is the thundering of her own pulse.
Then she can feel him. Anakin. His presence flows over her in its familiar intensity and warm light shining through dark clouds. It’s huge and impossible but he’s surrounding her, consuming her signature and infusing it with the fierce love that always felt too big to fit in one person.
She knows he’s close. Knows he’s coming up the lift any moment but when the doors open she’s still not ready.
She turns and catches him staring at her. For a second, neither of them moves. They just stand there, cataloging the changes in each other. He’s taller, (if that’s even possible, considering how he used to tower over her) broad shouldered in his dark Jedi robes.
Time sharped him when she wasn't around to watch. There are new lines on his face—skin wearing under harsh conditions, darker shadows, harder lines, and paler skin than she remembers.
But his eyes are exactly the same.
Blue as hyperspace. Blue as the summer sky on Shili and blue as the markings on her lekku.
She feels her walls shake—the ones she’s built one shaking brick at a time—dissolving with a single look.
She never could resist his lure.
“Snips?” He calls with a crooked grin, brows together and eyes crinkled at the corners.
The old nickname pierces her heart and she realizes how long it’s been since they’ve used them. How right the universe feels when he calls her that, filled with his tender and unending affection.
Her lips tremble. “Hi, Skyguy.”
He crosses the room in three strides. One moment they were meters apart and the next she’s in his arms. It’s not graceful. Anakin Skywalker has never done anything graceful in his life.
He about knocks them both over in his craze, then he lifts her off her feet, clutching her with both arms like she’ll dissolve otherwise. She clings to him just as tightly, knotting her fingers in the fabric on his back.
For a moment, she’s fourteen again. A gangly padawan with too much confidence and not enough patience.
For a moment, she’s safe. Safe with Anakin’s face tucked against her headtails.
She can feel his shoulders shaking from the cries he won’t let escape. They stay like that; not caring about anyone seeing.
Rex has his head respectfully bowed while Jesse beams openly. Kix prefers to stare very pointedly at a display panel. Even Admiral Yularen turns away with the expression of a man who’s seen this family reunite enough times to know better than to interrupt.
Ahsoka rests her forehead against his chest when he finally lowers her. Neither of them say anything at first. They don’t need to. The Force now flows openly between them, carrying months of silence and regret, relief and grief, all the words they had both been too hurt to say.
Finally, he leans back just enough to get a good look at her, hands still resting on her shoulders to keep himself grounded. “You look,” he swallows hard. “All grown up.”
She snorts at his nostalgic seriousness. She wants her teasing and joking master back. Along with how he always had a quip ready to cheer her up and keep the men going. How he would make everything a competition in his own infuriating way.
Now she realizes how he was protecting her when all she saw was a game. Shielding her the best he could by the only way he knew.
“I missed you,” she settles on.
He reaches up and brushes his thumb under her eye to catch a tear she didn’t know was falling.
“I missed you too,” he whispers.
She had prepared for anger, for disappointment, for hurt and pride open wounds. She hadn’t bothered to prepare for this. She should have. It’s her big brothers after all, she should have known they wouldn’t blame her.
“I looked for you.”
Ahsoka closes her eyes and nods.
“I mean, really looked.” His fingers tighten against her shoulders. “Every mission, every report, every rumor. I kept hoping…” He shakes his head. “It was stupid, but I kept thinking if I just searched a little harder…”
“You wouldn’t have found me. I didn’t want to be found.”
He exhales, defeated by the truth of it.
“I should have stopped you.”
Ahsoka stiffens and steps back enough to meet his eyes.
“No.”
“Snips, if I’d said the right thing—”
“No, Anakin. No matter what you could have said it was my choice to leave and I still stand by that. I couldn’t stay.” She gives a half-hearted shrug. “I need to explore for myself, see the galaxy and make connections without carrying a badge and a weapon as a Jedi. Without dragging my duty behind me.”
The words hurt to say, but they are true, and he needs to know the truth. She needs to be the one to tell him. Anakin studies her face, searching for any trace of doubt.
“Really?” He sounds two seconds away from not being able to hold the raving storm inside him anymore. She chooses her next words carefully.
“I was angry. I was angry at the Council, at the Order, at this war and—” her voice wavers “—at myself too.”
“And me?” His brows twitch as he asks the question, a solemn look settling over his features.
Ahsoka looks into those eyes again. Thinking of how she always wanted to impress him. How she would look to him for comfort and direction. How she has to guide herself now.
“No. Not you.”
His eyes flutter shut and when he opens them again they shine.
“Ahsoka, I know you don’t want to come back. I respect that, and like I said at the Temple, I get it. But you will always have a place to stay with me, okay?”
“Okay,” she pushes out as her throat closes.
“Whatever you decide to do and wherever you go, it will be something huge and amazing. Because I know you and I know you could never settle for less,” he chuckles at his own words. “I’m proud of you, Snips. And I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.”
The confession steals the remaining breath from her.
“You did the best you could,” she says softly. Because that’s the truth, that’s real. “And that was enough.”
A single tear slips down his cheek.
“Besides,” she adds, trying to lighten the moment, “you taught me how to survive impossible situations, ignore authority, and steal military hardware.”
A startled laugh escapes him. “I did not teach you to steal military hardware.”
“Sure you didn’t.”
Rex coughs into his fist. “General, if I may, there are several ships and one tank that suggest otherwise.”
Anakin shoots him a glare over Ahsoka’s head. “Traitor.”
“We learned from the best, Sir,” Jesse chips in.
Ahsoka laughs—laughs like she hasn't in a long time. Anakin stares starry-eyed and tries to memorize the sound, the curve of her smile, and how she angles her head to the side just slightly when she shoots him a teasing smirk.
They settle into a comfortable silence, observing the moment as a group. Anakin slings his arm around her carelessly.
“You know, you’re one of the best parts of me. The men don’t know what to think without my other half,” he says low enough for just her to hear.
“You’re still terrible at subtly, I see.”
“And you’re still good at deflecting.”
Ahsoka rolls her eyes at the comment. She’s great at deflecting. He grins.
For an instant, it feels like no time has passed at all and this is just like every other carefree time. Then the reality of the months between them settles gently into place, not erased but acknowledged.
Anakin grows serious.
“Do you think…” He hesitates, a rare vulnerability crossing his features. “Do you think there’s still a place for me in your life?”
She widens her eyes, trying to hide her shock. The Chosen One, hero of the Republic, asking like a frightened tooka at her door.
Ahsoka reaches for his hand that’s still resting over her.
“Can’t get rid of me that easily. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Anakin Skywalker, you are stuck with me.”
His laugh breaks into a relieved, watery sigh. “Good.”
She squeezes his fingers in acknowledgement. They turn back to the conversations happening around them, the laughter that follows is warm and familiar, wrapping around Ahsoka like an old blanket.
For the first time in months, the ache in her chest eases and she relaxes.
Anakin clears his throat. “So.” He gestures widely. “Anyone care to explain why my former Padawan was arrested?”
Everyone goes completely still, some glance around the semi-circle nervously. The engines suddenly seem very loud and the floor very interesting. Anakin bursts out laughing at it and the rest follow suit.
“Come on,” he holds his arm out for her and she hooks her own in it. “Let’s get you to those exciting adventures.”
“Trace and Rafa are still in the brig.”
“Then let’s go get your friends.” He says it without hesitation or judgment.
Your friends.
As though her life outside the Order matters to him because it matters to her. Ahsoka glances up at him, suddenly overwhelmed again. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For not making this harder.”
His expression turns tender. “Snips, seeing you again is the easiest thing I’ve done in a long time.”
Her eyes sting at his kind words. They walk together toward the lift, Rex and the others falling in behind them like they always used to.
The old formation.
General, Commander and Padawan, troops.
Only different now, truer in a sense maybe. At the lift doors, Ahsoka pauses. “Anakin?”
He turns immediately to give her his full attention. She throws her arms around him one more time. He catches her without question, just like every time.
This hug is quieter. Not desperate or disbelieving as their first was. When she pulls back, she smiles through fresh tears.
“I’m really glad to see you.”
He brushes a hand over the side of her head, gentle and caring as he lets her back away into the lift. They part here. Rex and the other clones stand at attention, saluting her. Anakin gives a nod, never breaking her line of sight.
Ahsoka watches where they were as the lift speeds downward and realizes something. The Temple is not her home anymore, won’t ever be.
The Order is not her home.
But standing here in the middle of this warship, surrounded by soldiers who still call her Commander and the man who never stopped believing in her, she understands something simple and profound.
Home was never a place. Not for her.
It was a people. These people.
And no matter how far she wanders into the galaxy, home will always be there for her to come back to. Because some bonds are stronger than distance, stronger than doubt, stronger even than heartbreak.