Chapter Text
Dick didn't really use to be honest. Well, not loudly so; so, he didn't say out loud that when a bright flash came from the common room, followed by a loud grunt, he first thought it was Megan failing at cookies baking once more. (If it had been the case, he would have been really impressed by how powerful her mess-ups were, but as it turned out, his first assumption did indeed make an ass out of him.)( ... A pretty ass, all said, but still.)
Instead of the, all said, pretty manageable cookies explosion he was bracing himself for, he barged in the common room to get tackled to the ground by Batman.
Okay, so he was used to that, even if Bruce avoided doing that where Robin's teammates could see it because it was just a little humiliating, and Dick liked to be seen as a strong independent young hero, and not as a sidekick that got tackled around by his mentor.
But then again, having Batman's nice Kevlar cape between himself and the explosion was always appreciable. Plus, Batman had also protected Zatanna, so it all wasn't quite as bad as it could have been.
It was after, when Batman cursed and knelled up, that Dick started suspecting something was really, whelmingly wrong.
Batman didn't cuss anywhere where other heroes could see him baring world-ending levels of fucked up, that, frankly, a simple bomb in Mount Justice did not even got close to approaching.
And then, the head wearing the cowl rose, and that was not Batman's jaw.
The Bat-copy-cat apparently was still a little stunned, or a really badly made counterfeit, because it said "You okay, Robin." Then blinked at him. "You are not my Robin."
He jumped to his feet and spun around, muttering curses under his breath.
There was something about alternate dimensions in the mix, Dick did not like the sound of that.
Dick also did not like the total lack of intruder alert blaring when there was an obviously fake Batman in the room.
Just like summoned by his thoughts, the lights turned red, speakers droning on about an intruder. (Reaction time was less than optimal.)
Since Dick thought he had the intruder in front of him, he didn't even react to the sound, but Fake-Batman did, perking up and spinning around to access the console and entering a command to locate the intruder.
Which seemed stupid... Until the pinpoint in the map showed that the intruder was in the loading bay, not the common room.
He didn't have the time to react, because then Kid Flash barged in in full costume, followed by Miss Martian, Superboy and Aqualad, asking for a sit-rep, and Batman just ran for the door. (He couldn't believe he'd just been pulled a Batman on.)
"Talk about it later, there's an intruder in the loading bay... Well there is a second intruder in the loading bay."
Wally had disappeared in a blur and a red and yellow trace before Dick was even finished talking.
They all ran after him, Artemis joining them from a side corridor and accelerated when a loud squawk echoed back in the cavernous hallways.
They emerged in the bay to find Kid Flash sprawled on the floor on his stomach, fake Batman crouched over him with a hand firmly twisted in the shoulder of his costume.
The way this fake batman was touching Kid Flash did not look like he was actively hostile, but everyone still took on fighting stances when faced with Batman obviously looming over Wally.
Other Batman glanced at them, then back down at Kid Flash. "Look, kids, I don't want to fight you, I just want to get my Robin back, he's injured and he's alone in an unfamiliar place and he has bladed weapons with him today, if I'm not the one he sees first, he'll attack, so please stay behind me, I don't want you get hurt because you startled him."
There was a silence, everyone kept their stances, then Conner spoke. "Wait isn't Robin right there? What do you even mean by bladed weapons?"
Artemis cleared her throat. "Hey, Rob, wasn't Batman calling us kids that tipped you about him being mind controlled last month?"
The tension ramped up exponentially, Dick could feel Conner about to just pounce and ask questions later. "He's not mind controlled, he's an impostor, his jaw and form are all wrong."
Fake Batman growled under his breath. "I'm not an impostor, I'm an alternative version, and I am missing my Robin, which is a way bigger problem than you seem to think, because he's got swords and he's not in a good mood, and he will attack you if he sees you threatening me."
"Hum, can you let me up, now, mister not an impostor alternate version Batman?"
Alternate Batman looked down at the back of Kid Flash's head. "Sure, Wally, after you've promised you won't rush ahead to find my Robin and get yourself cut to strips in the process."
There were a few seconds of silence as Dick wondered how this Batman knew Kid Flash's name. (Not that Wally had the hardest secret ID to guess, but still.) And the others thought their own thoughts, before Kid Flash reluctantly spoke again. "Okay, I promise I will stay behind you, mister creepy."
There was a moment of total stillness (that Dick used to curse Wally's total lack of tact), and then Kid Flash was up, and had zipped himself to stand right next to Dick.
Batman-2 stood up briskly and smiled at them (and THAT was WAY creepy, even when he was being Bruce, Batman never smiled that widely, but in the suit, it was Joker's levels of wrong). "Now, Walls, you hurt my feelings."
Dick felt his teammates shiver in fear.
Other Batman seemed to dismiss them and turned around, walking over to the storage area's doorway, where he stopped and drew in a deep breath. His next word were bellowed in the growliest register of Batman voice Dick had heard from this fake version so far. "Robin! Report! Now!"
Even though Dick knew it wasn't his Batman, and he wasn't talking to him, he couldn't fight the impulse to stand straighter and take a breath to answer the command, though he stopped himself before actually speaking. Artemis was looking at him and snorting, so he glowered back at her.
Dick almost didn't hear the reply because they were pretty far behind Batman bis, and also because 'Robin' didn't bellow back, but he still caught it. "-Tt- I'm fine."
And that definitely wasn't Dick's voice, which was at once reassuring, after how much the fake Batman had been insisting that his Robin was dangerous, and absolutely terrifying because there apparently could be a Robin that wasn't him.
In the doorway, the alternate Batman sagged a little. His next sentence coming out in a more normal human voice. "Don't move, I'm coming to get you."
They all crept forward, enough so that this strange Robin's answer was easily heard. "I am able to move on my own."
They didn't see Alter-Batman anymore, but they could hear him perfectly, he sounded exasperated and fond at once, which was just another case in the creepy column, at this point. "Robin, I saw the Joker's crowbar connect with your ankle, it doesn't define 'able to move on your own' where I am concerned. So you're going to have to let me carry you around until I am satisfied that you didn't break anything and slash or you got that treated and have crutches, am I being clear enough?"
Silence rang clear for a few seconds, that Dick's team used to look at each other with raised eyebrows. Other Batman's voice rang again, closer to that commanding tone again. "Robin, am I being clear enough?"
"... -Tt-."
"Robin."
"Yes, Batman."
Megan set up a mental link between them. "What's happening here? I've never heard you and Batman speak that way to each other."
Dick frowned. "I don't know, but this isn't my Batman, and this Robin isn't me, I sound nothing like that."
"How could there be a Robin who isn't you, Rob? That's like unnatural." Wally asked.
"I am not a child!" The snotty, English accented, high pitched voice of that strange other Robin echoed in the cave.
"I am, sorry, BabyBat, but you're twelve, that essentially defines a child." Other Batman answered, sounding warm and fond and amused. "And you also may have a broken ankle."
"Same way there can be a Batman who isn't Batman, I guess, someone should go up and call the Justice League, things got really weird here, and we might need a medic." Dick answered.
Kaldur nodded, confirming his order, and Megan flew away and up in the corridor chirping a "on it".
Batman-2 emerged from the storage cavern with a very sulky preteen propped up against his hip. "Hey, I've got him, thanks for giving us space. Where is Miss Martian?"
Kaldur took a step forward to answer, since he was the leader. "She went back to the control room to mute the alarm and call the Justice League."
Batman-2 frowned. "You're working under the Justice League?"
It was Dick's turn to frown. "Why wouldn't we?"
Other Batman shook his head. "Extrapolating from my world. The Titans were never an extension of the league and we almost never called the adults when things happened."
"We? Why would Batman put himself in a we, while talking about what we are in his world?" Zatanna broad-casted, before continuing out loud. "Who are the Titans?"
"A bunch of incompetent teenager wannabe heroes, most of which are metas." The red green, black and yellow costumed kid on other Batman's hip answered, sneering.
Batman bis frowned down at the kid. "Robin, can you stop insulting everyone first chance you get? It is hurtful to other people, me included when you're dissing the team I founded."
Other Robin sniffed and looked away, face even more petulant, but Batman bounced him a little, eyes not leaving him and the kid turned his face away from his mentor even as he enunciated a "yes Batman" with the flattest voice ever.
"He's kind of cute." Artemis commented.
"What? He's a snotty arrogant brat, how do you call that cute?" Wally mentally exclaimed.
"Probably the same way she can can think the same of you, Wally." Megan laughed across the mental link, even though she wasn't there with them, making Zatanna snicker.
Tiny Robin turned his head to glare at Zatanna. "What's funny, Ha..."
Batman interrupted what Dick was pretty sure would have been an insult by clearing his throat loudly and gently but firmly enunciating "Robin..."
The kid tutted and crossed his arms, still glaring.
"Okay." Alternative Batman said. "Could you lead me to the infirmary? I didn't take the time to look at where it was on the map. We're in the mountain HQ, aren't we? It seems familiar, but I guess the floor-plan won't be consistent, things seem to be different here... Especially if you're the first Robin and not Tim?" He added looking at Dick.
Dick frowned. First Robin, as in there will be others? He guessed it made sense if mister entitled was this Batman's Robin, but still. "I am not Tim, whoever that is, and I am the only Robin there has ever been."
The kid's head turned sharply to examine him at that. "You're Gr-"
"Hey, no, BabyBat, not secret identities. They were still a very serious matter even in a team back on the first generation, so unless they tell you their other name, you use code-names, okay?"
"Aren't you hypocritical, mister Batman? You're the one who called me by my first name earlier." Wally accused.
Batman-2 smiled at him. "Well, I know YOU don't care much about outing yourself to your team, Kid Mouth. Flashes usually don't. That and I wanted to confirm it was you. Bart doesn't have the same hair color as you, but Irey does, and wigs are a thing too."
Wally frowned. "I have no idea who you're talking about."
Other Batman smiled even more (it was still unsettling). "You wouldn't, they probably don't exist yet in this world, much like little D here." The dark clad man said, jerking his chin at the kid still plastered at his side, then he stopped walking, frowning under the cowl (Dick could tell, he had experience with this cowl), and looking back again at Dick, more intently. "Or maybe that was a bad example... You're what, fourteen? I actually can't be positive that Baby Bat doesn't exist here. But for Bart, Irey and Jai, it still holds."
The preteen stayed silent, frowning a little at his nickname but not protesting it except for a light kick on his Batman's thigh.
"Is Batman that annoying too about saying things and not explaining them?" Conner inquired.
"No." Dick answered. "When Batman doesn't want you to know things, he doesn't even allude to them, but I thought we established that this wasn't our Batman."
"So." Artemis exclaimed, getting in front of the alternate. "I am curious, you said first about Rob, how many more Robins do you have?"
The kid sneered. "Only one worth mentioning."
Other Batman sighed at the little shit's attitude. "Technically, at my point in time, two, there's my Robin, and there's Red Robin, but I only 'have' the one, and not even all the time, but that wasn't the question, was it?" He adjusted his hold on the kid so he would be straddling his hip a little higher since he'd slid down while they were walking. "Little D is Robin number four and a half."
"How can anyone be 'and a half'?" asked Zatanna. (Good question, even though Dick was still reeling from the fact that there would apparently be at least three other Robins after him.)
The brat opened his mouth, but Batman interrupted him sternly. "If what you're going to say isn't respectful, I don't want to hear it." The kid frowned ever harder and sniffed, but kept quiet. "Batgirl doesn't wish to be included in the Robin headcount, which is her right, seeing how shitty B was to her, but in my opinion, she deserves to be acknowledged for stepping up to it, so she is 'and a half'. ... That's Batgirl number three I'm talking about, by the way, not the one you know."
"I don't know any Batgirl." Dick answered, perplexed.
Batman-2 huffed a laugh. "Oh, trust me, you know her. She's probably just not Batgirl yet." He stopped talking, face going somber. "When she steps up, could you ask her to make sure she always checks the peephole before opening her door? Even as a civilian."
"I sense a story." Wally piped up. "Shouldn't you not tell us about the future? That's the stuff that turns the space-time continuum on it's head. And now with what you said and the way you said there is a Batgirl two in your world, we know the first Batgirl is going to die."
"She doesn't die." the kid answered. (Respectfully, wow.) "But Batman here would still like for his former fiancée to avoid some events of her past. I suspect she would smack him upside the head if she heard him and tell him that what happened to her doesn't make her broken, and she doesn't need his protection."
"You spied on us."
"No I didn't, Fatgirl told me what Oracle told her about why the two of you broke off your engagement."
Other Batman narrowed his eyes at the kid, then turned back to Wally. "No, telling you about the future events that happen in our version of the future doesn't put anything in danger in this universe. I guess I should still restrain myself because if I warn you about things and they happen anyway you'll feel even more shitty about them, but that's about the extent of it. Which is why I will just tell you to try to be understanding toward Jay and not be as much of an ass to him as I was, because you WILL regret it for years if you do."
The last part was said while looking straight as Dick, and he fidgeted under the stare, feeling like he knew who this strange Batman was and not liking his conclusion one bit. "I don't know any Jays either."
"Good for you." Said the kid. Batman-bis cuffed him upside the head with his free hand and the preteen growled, glaring at his mentor.
"No, you don't know him yet, but you will. Be nice to him, he needs your affection much more than he lets on." The brat narrowed his eyes at his Batman but kept quiet.
They turned around the corridor and Kaldur pushed the door to the infirmary open.
Alter Batman strode in and deposited his little charge on the examination table, then crouched before him and started undoing the bright red shoelace of the kid's equally bright green left knee-high boot.
Which reminded Dick that the whole reason he had been carried was that he might have broken bones, yet the kid hadn't expressed any pain while they were walking. He either didn't feel pain for whatever reason, or was totally alright, or he had a pain threshold and self-control that were frankly absurd for a twelve years old.
Batman-bis carefully removed the shoelace all the way down and peeled the sides of the boots as far as they would go before grimacing. "I need to cut that off."
The kid's other foot connected with the cowled head and pushed his Batman's head away until he overbalanced and fell on his ass. "You will do no such thing." The kid announced, then he bent down over his own legs, pushed his hands along his injured one and the boot fell away. It was only because he was kind of expecting it that Dick heard the choked breath that accompanied the removal.
"Shit, Robin, can't you respect your own body? I bet you hurt yourself even more" Strange Batman yelled as he pushed himself back to a crouch.
"Pain can be controlled, you just disconnect it" The kid replied. Which was disturbing as hell, especially since he said it with the exact voice of Michael Biehn, the actor for Kyle Reese in Terminator 1.
"I regret making you watch the Terminator series if that's all you decided to take away from it. Also, each time that type of sentence gets past your lips, I want to break your mother's arm, just saying."
"Chill out, dickwad." The boy answered, that time with the voice of the Terminator in the second film, and his Batman shook his head with a snort. And Dick was feeling more unsettled by what that byplay probably meant by the second.
"Your comedic timing sucks, little D." Other Batman (he really needed another way to call him, this was getting ridiculous) chided, then he extended his hand to take the kid's ankle in hand, carefully examining it.
There were footsteps sounds approaching in the corridor, Batman footsteps. Dick relaxed a bit at the knowledge that they wouldn't have to deal with this insanity alone, while the fake Batman visibly stiffened where he was pulling an arnica gel from a cabinet, and his tiny Robin looked up with a slightly apprehensive face.
Batman reached the doorway and surveyed the tiny room, Megan floating behind his shoulder. The other, fake one, that seemed way shorter now that the real thing was around turned around from where he had been gently rubbing the gel in his kid's ankle and smiled. "Hi B, can you tell me where the X-ray machine is? I'm not familiar with these designs and I'm still not sure my Robin didn't break a bone."
Batman narrowed his eyes and stayed silent.
Dick knew that this tended to work on the more hardened criminals, but the Batcopy didn't falter, narrowing his eyes right back in a perfect reproduction of the famous Batglare™. They squared off like that for about ten seconds before the Batcopy (Dick thought he'd stick with that nickname, it sounded okay,) turned his head, poked his Robin in the thigh and turned back to glare at Batman.
The tiny Robin seemed as surprised by the action as everyone else in the room (except Batman, who never ever looked surprised, ever) for a couple of seconds, and then his eyes widened and he did a tiny laughing breath thing before arranging his face into another perfect copy of the Batglare™.
"Huh, I think team alternates wins?" Artemis asked.
"You might just be right." Wally answered.
"I'm always right."
"Flirt later." Dick interrupted them.
It was Batman that broke off. "Who are you? How did you get in there, and how come the computer only detects one intruder?"
"I'm not an android, if that was your question, and I know even if I answer these questions you'll annoy me for hours to test my answer, so all you're getting from me is silence until Robin's treated, deal with it, B."
"He's right." Black Canary's voice came from behind Batman and Megan. "Your paranoia can wait until after I took care of the little one."
The little one in question gritted his teeth at the address but stayed otherwise silent.
"I need to know who they are." Batman disagreed.
Bat-copy growled and then turned toward the kid when said brat tugged on his cape, They looked at each-other for a couple of seconds before the adult placed his fingers at the edge of the kid's green mask and inclined his head in question. The kid made a face, but nodded and lifted his chin to facilitate the removal of his mask.
Dick could almost see Batman choking on his own tongue as the Bat-copy's response to his question was to unmask his Robin, but they all stayed perfectly silent as the kid's adhesive mask was gently removed.
The Bat-copy rubbed his thumb along the kid's temple, then moved out of the way so they could see his face.
Dick, Bruce and Dinah took a sharp breath upon seeing the preteen's bare face, the others (except Wally) didn't get it.
Because on the examination table, the tiny kid in green, red, and black in the yellow cape looked straight into Batman's eye with bright blue eyes in the middle of a miniaturized version of Bruce's face.