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"Hey Spidey babe! I brought tacos!" Wade yells as he launches himself onto the roof Peter has settled on. "Your favorite!" He offers waving the bag in Peter’s face. Peter laughs.
"Deadpool tacos are your favorite." Peter corrects, pushing the greasy bag out of his face. Deadpool has rolled his mask up and is in the process of shoving a taco in his mouth when he attempts to pull a face at Peter. Sadly the face requires him to open his mouth.
"Taco’s are everyone’s favorite baby boy.” He informs, losing a mouthful of Taco in the process. “Taco no." Wade whines staring sadly down at the chewed-up mush that fell from his mouth.
"Ew Wade." Peter groans, Wade gives it an assessing look and Peter gently pushes him away from the edge of the roof and the chewed-up taco. "You can eat mine dude. It's fine." Wade beams at him.
“You are the bestest, baby boy!” Wade cheers, arms flying out dramatically to the point that Wade almost falls over. Peter just sighs. “Wha’?” Wade asks around a mouthful of tacos. Peter settles onto the air conditioning duct.
“Nothing it’s just, with what the Bugle has said, well it seems like you’re the only one who thinks that I’m the best.” Peter mumbles. Wade wraps an arm around him, and Peter shrugs it off. “I’m fine. I’m just being stupid.” Wade frowns, poking at Peter’s arm to get his attention.
“Don’t let that asshole paper get you down Spidey. You da best super hero in my book.” Wade assures. Peter sighs.
“I’m barely even a superhero, even people who like me think I’m small time compared to the avengers.” Peter sighs, staring wistfully at Tony Starks sky scraper. “What I wouldn’t give to be part of that team, people love them Wade.” Wade gives him a thoughtful look.
“People love you too Spidey, you do a lot of good.” Wade hip checks gently, considering if secret agent man will think about hiring his baby boy as an avenger.
“I could do more with them though. Y’know?” Peter asks. Wade shrugs.
“Not really, mercenary remember?” Wade replies gesturing with his gun towards himself. Peter carefully removes the gun from Wades hand sliding it back in his holster.
“You’re still a good guy Wade.” Peter assures, giving him a peck on the cheek before backflipping off the building.
“Showoff!” Wade yells after him.
…
“Hey Secret Agent Man.” Wade cheers when the agent walks into the apartment.
“Wade we’ve talked about this, I have a name, and breaking into people’s apartments is not acceptable behavior.” Phillip Coulson scolds hanging his suit jacket in a closet by the door. Wade kicks his feet up on the coffee table.
“Well if you would just give me your phone number I wouldn’t have to break in.” Wade replies, popping some popcorn into his mouth and dropping half a handful onto Phil’s floor. If Phil wasn’t so used to Clint he’d probably be more annoyed.
“Wade, you already have my phone number.” Phil deadpans, slipping his shoes off and heading to the kitchen.
“Oh yeah. Forgot about that.” Wade says, not even slightly embarrassed. “Anyways I wanted to talk to you about your special squad.”
“Wade. You can’t join the Avengers.” Phil says, before Wade can ask. “You aren’t exactly good publicity.” Wade nods agreeably.
“I know, I know. But see my Baby Boy the Spider we all know and love.” Wade starts. “Not the scary lady spider though.” Phil takes a sip from his beer and waits for Wade to get back on topic. “She’s awesome, but she’s also already an Avenger you know?” Phil nods, gesturing at Wade to continue as he settles into the chair across from him. “Well I’m just trying to say Spiderman could use the good press, and he’s awesome and would totally be an asset to your whole squad.”
“Spiderman?” Phil asks, raising an unimpressed eyebrow. In truth SHIELD had been considering Spiderman for the avengers initiative for a while.
“Yeah!” Wade replies grinning at him. “Best guy I’ve ever met, Spidey. He’s been kinda down though because of all the crap talking the media does, but I promised I wouldn’t kill the mean reporter guy so I thought maybe if he was Avenger endorsed...” Wade trails off looking at Phil expectantly.
“I’ll think about it.” Phil offers after letting Wade stew for a moment. “Now, get out of my house.” Wade jumps up and salutes.
“Yes Sir!” Wade shouts before army marching himself to the window and climbing out while Phil begins fixing the security system.
“Wade, dude, I really don’t want any taco’s.” Peter informs the mercenary, lounging on the same roof as he and Wade watch over the city below them.
"I maintain, tacos are everybody's favorite Spidey." Wade replies waving the bag at him, and looking aghast.
"Not mine." Peter replies, smirking at the mercenary. He won’t admit it, but riling Wade up like this is often the highlight of his week. Wade let's out an exaggerated gasp, hands clapping against his cheeks. "My favorite is pizza." Peter offers in explanation.
"He doesn't mean that." Wade whispers to the bag of tacos.
“Yes, I do!” Peter replies giggling. There’s a whirr behind him and the Iron Man suit lands on the roof.
“Yo, metal man tacos are the bestest food ever right?” Wade asks, shoving one in his mouth. Tony doesn’t deem that worthy of a response instead focusing on Spider Man.
“Hello Spiderman, I have been tasked with inviting you to join the Avengers Initiative.” Tony informs him, Peter’s face lights up for a second before he pulls on a nonchalant grin.
“What’s your benefit’s package?” He asks jokingly. Tony snorts in amusement.
“Cap’s gonna hate you, I totally approve of this decision.” Tony says, flipping up the mask to grin at Peter. “Pleasure to meet you Spiderman.” Peter laughs.
“You as well Mr. Stark.” Peter replies. ”Have your suits draft the paperwork and I’ll see about joining your boyband.” He teases, grinning at Wade.
“Will do, welcome to the team kid.” Tony says before taking off.
…
When given the paperwork, Peter considers it seriously for a few minutes. He knows he’s going to sign on, this is his ticket to the big leagues, but he at least wants to seem professional. After a few minutes, he signs ‘Spiderman’ with a flourish.
…
The doombots are pouring out of seemingly nowhere, and the avengers are trying to keep them contained, while easy to fight doombots are prone to major property damage. The numbers are near overwhelming and they’re about to lose the imaginary four block boundary Captain Rogers had set up for containment.
"Shit what is he doing here?" Tony Stark grumbles over the com. Peter’s head whips around trying to figure out what other supervillain asshole showed up to the party. He finds the situation clearly lacking in anyone who would require that sort of reaction.
"Ugh, the mercenary is here?" Clint groans, firing an arrow with practiced ease. Peter finally spots who they're talking about as Deadpool throws himself bodily into a fight with the latest Doombots. He grins at the sight of Deadpool wielding his katanas with deadly accuracy.
"He's helping, what's the problem?" Peter grumbles down the line, swinging into a doombot foot first and knocking it away from Clint’s perch.
"No chatter." Cap cuts in, and Peter rolls his eyes swinging over to back up Wade. "Ironman on your four!" Cap yells, Peter see's Tony avoid what would have been a harmless attack in the suit. He knows it's an obsession of Steve's warning all of them about danger, it’s rather endearing. However, as the battle wages on Peter comes to a startling realization. The captain never calls out a warning to wade. In fact, the entire battle only one voice calls out warnings to Wade and that's Peter's.
"Deadpool Duck!" Peter yells, and Wade does just in time to miss losing a chunk of his shoulder when Tony's shot goes wide.
"Thanks Spidey!" Wade yells back. Peter rolls his eyes swinging over to help the mercenary.
"Spiderman stay in position." Cap orders. Peter is incredibly tempted to crush his com just to be dramatic, but awareness of the other’s situation takes precedence to his anger so he leaves it in.
"I'm good." Peter replies, keeping it in his ear. Knowing what the others are doing never hurts even if they're irritating as fuck.
“That’s an order Spiderman.” Cap says, earning an eyeroll from Peter.
“Don’t care Cap.” Peter replies, anger hardening his tone. Wade blinks at him.
“Baby boy you sh-“ Wade starts, and suddenly finds himself being pulled by Peters web out of the path of a doombot.
“Wade, I’m not going anywhere.” Peter assures. Wade frowns, a mix of flattered and concerned.
“Cap’s gonna be mad though.” Wade mumbles slashing a doombot in half and lobbing a grenade into a group of them. Peter shrugs.
“Fuck him. I have your back.” Peter replies rolling one doombot towards another with a flick of his webbing. The fight doesn’t take too long, Doombots have long since become a nuisance more than a real threat to the avengers.
The moment the battle dies down Steve Rogers is walking towards where Peter and wade are giggling over the corpse of a doombot.
“Spiderman.” Steve says, voice laced with disappointment.
“Hi Cap!” Wade calls excitedly, Steve gives him a look of barely disguised disdain.
“Cap.” Peter replies, crossing his arms over his chest.
“You disobeyed direct orders.” Steve scolds. Wade frowns unsure if Peter will appreciate him being an overprotective asshole.
“You didn’t provide DP here with any backup” Peter replies, raising an unimpressed eyebrow at Steve from behind the mask. Deadpool nods as if to say ‘yeah. True.’
“He can’t die.” Steve says, waving off Peters concern. “Civilians can, you should have stayed in position.” Peter finds himself overwhelmed by nausea.
“He can still be hurt, and he nearly was by your team members.” Peter growls, sick to his stomach at the thought that these guys were once his heroes. “You guys were my heroes. I thought you were the best thing that ever happened to this planet. I thought you guys were good people." He shoots a look over at Wade, and the mercenary shakes his head, mouth forming four clear words. 'I'm not worth it.' Peter has never known anything to be less true, and he feels steely determination in his chest when he looks back at the Avengers, earth's douchiest heroes. "You sit up on your high horse and act like Deadpool is a bad person because he does bad things, as if you have never killed anyone." Peter is trembling with rage.
"Hey Spidey, kid calm down." Tony says, voice light as if this is all a joke, as if the way they've treated Wade doesn't really matter. As if Peter is being irrational by defending his friend.
"Deadpool is my friend Tony. You use him like he's a weapon, and then you insult him as if he can't get hurt. Steve, because he heals you send him into the line of fire, none of you care that being shot still hurts him." Peter shakes his head, bile rising in his throat. "I can't believe I thought you guys were amazing. Earth's mightiest heroes." Peter scoffs, turning back to Deadpool.
"Peter you don't wanna do this." Deadpool hisses. Peter smiles at him, gaze soft. “You wanted to be an avenger.”
"No Wade, I wanted to be a hero, you know I hate working with bullies." Peter says, wrapping an arm around the mercenary's waist. "Hold on." He says, preparing to swing them home.
"You signed a contract." Steve calls toward him, and Peter laughs, looking back over his shoulder at the smug hero.
"Hate to break it to you Cap, but Spiderman isn't my legal name, your contract isn't terribly binding." Peter smirks at the shocked look on the avengers faces. "Peace out. See you next time the world is ending." He says falling backwards out of a window, Deadpool howling laughter in his ear.
"Baby boy that was awesome." Wade cheers when they land on the roof of his building. Peter's glad the mask hides his blush as he extracts himself from Wade's arms.
"Couldn't stand to see them bully you." Peter grumbles glaring back toward the Avengers building. Wade laughs, wrapping his arms back around Peter's neck.
"You're my hero." Wade says, voice rasping beautifully. Peter pulls his mask up to show his smile.
"And you're mine, jumping into the battle like that. Thank you." Peter grins at him, Wade suddenly leans forward and there's a small noise as his masked lips smack against Peter's.
"Oh shit." Wade gasps. "I'm sorry, that was-"
"Really sweet." Peter cuts him off. "Although next time I'd prefer to actually have your lips against mine." Wade just stares at him for a second before nudging his mask up.
"You want to kiss this?" He asks, lip curling up in a sneer as he gestures at his face.
"I really do." Peter mumbles, leaning closer and pressing a light kiss against Wade's lips. "I want you. Date me?" Wade nods dumbly, and Peter back flips off the roof. "See you around." He yells swinging away.
"Showoff!” Wade yells before turning towards home. “Spidey loves me!" Wade cheers dancing happily along rooftops on his way home