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English
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Part 1 of Saiki Kusuo
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Published:
2016-12-19
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1,838
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1/1
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I'd made a rule for myself, saying it's okay to tell white lies, but you had seen right through me.

Summary:

"He puts on the germanium ring again, but the silence is no longer welcoming, it's heavy all around Saiki, like his aura when his limiters are gone and it makes him uneasy, but taking it off isn't something he wants to do either. He just wants to listen to very specific voices he can somehow stand even less than his front neighbors judging thoughts or the florist nearby's ideas for a new bouquet.

 

Liar."

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:


He was home alone.


Yes, home alone. Rare these days, but definitely possible. His parents had taken a small date weekend, which actually implies that not all the days of their lives are date days, which Saiki genuinely believes is a lie.


The point, however, is that he has two days to do whatever he wants, free of responsibilities. The people who regularly interrupt his quiet lifestyle gone to who knows where, not that he cares. Saiki can't hear any familiar voices on his regular telepathy radius, so he figures he will be good for some time. Even Nendou, who was his biggest fear for this weekend, had actually gone with his mom somewhere for the time being, who knows where.


Saiki wishes he could stop leaving him 'letters', these crudely written notes that could fit a middle school kid more than a seventeen-year-old.


He starts with his telepathy ring, the trusty and solid germanium ring he'd thought useless in the beginning. The cool metal barely grazes his glove covered fingers when the pesky background noise of foreign thoughts falls away to a calming silence.


Next, he picks up a book he'd been wanting to finish for a while and sets out to read on his desk. It was the last of an old detective series, old enough for no one to give him any potential spoilers but still intriguing. He was actually close, about two weeks ago but Kaidou wanted him to come over, and he really couldn't shake that one off.


It's a long while to go, more than half the thick book left, but Saiki definitely wants to end it today so he focuses himself entirely on reading it. By the time he's done, he doesn't know how many hours have passed, but he definitely enjoyed himself.


The main character figures out with the help of his rag-tag group of companions that the one pulling the strings for the murder of his family, was actually the mobster's wife, the same woman that unknowingly inspired him to be a detective, in the end.


She was definitely on his list of suspects but it was still a surprise, a small accomplishment in the day. She reminded Saiki of Teruhashi in a way; too perfect to be true.


An accurate representation.


Saiki willed the thought away, the simple idea of her occupying so much as a second of Saiki's mind on his day off too preposterous.


He lets himself enjoy for some time in the silence, considering taking a nap without other people's thoughts occupying his mind while he could, but it would be a waste of time, considering anyone could show up any minute now, presenting some weird plan to spend the day with him.


Why would they even want that?


Again, he doesn't want to think about Them right now.


Finishing his homework genuinely, without any sort of handicap, is something productive to do, so Saiki does. The problems are easy, and they lull to calm from their repetitiveness, challenging enough from time to time to make an effort and surprisingly, he doesn't get bored at all. It's a wonder why he doesn't do it more often and at the same time knows the reason by heart.


Running a hand through his hair to remove the bangs out of his eyes, he bumped into his glasses by accident too. They weren't necessary right now, but nothing removes the chance of someone finding their way into the house without him noticing because that sounds like something that would happen to him. Taking the ring off is always an option but sacrificing his moments of silence seems like a monumental task right now.


In the end, Saiki decides that seeing everything without a tinge of green for a while won't hurt anyone. Taking the ring off quickly, he checks for anyone or anything that could bother what seems to be one of the best weekends he's ever had but he finds nothing. No Dark Reunion, no thoughts about him, no silent death threats to unknown people, just relative silence from his f-


peers.


He just grabs and grips the ring for a while, letting the silence calm him down.


From what?


From all the noise. Once with the ring on his finger and glasses removed, Saiki remembers just how many colors there actually are. Paying attention to that specific detail isn't a main concern in his peculiar life, but then again the only colours Saiki gets to see on a daily basis are the distorted combinations of green and the deep navy his room is bathed in at night when he takes the glasses off, the only light being the lamp post outside and the moon.

 

The light's intensity is far too close to uncomfortable for his liking, a product of wearing tinted glasses all day, every day, but the colors were nice. A change.


His mom says his eyes are the loveliest she has ever seen, a deep purple, says they remind her of violets. Saiki has yet to see what's so special about them. Sure, before they weren't naturally occurring before, and even now he finds a very small amount of people with violet eyes, but that's all they are. Nothing more than what their purpose intends.


Saiki looks around the room, the wheels of the chair too loud in the complete silence. Beige walls, brown furniture, some CD's and manga are the only colorful thing around but it's more than enough. He eyes the small collection with some interest, his eye catching the forgotten Cider-man movie, most likely left there by Yuuta. He finds himself tempted to apport it to his house, but he doesn't find anything of equal value.


At that moment, he remembers that no one is in the house and he could freely teleport himself with no problem. His paranoid side tells him to leave the CD there, give it to Yuuta next time Saiki babysits him, keep the germanium ring on and relax.  Something else, strange to him but slightly more pressing, tells him that he wouldn't stand to see that CD there for too long.


So in the end, Saiki teleports himself to Yuuta's house, CD included, germanium ring off and the voices back. Again he is divided between annoyance and something he can't really place, but he doesn't think about it.


Because he can't


Because he doesn't need to. He still hears no familiar thoughts nearby and it's been a while now, and Saiki frankly feels worried about his mental state because he considered enlarging the range of his antennae just to.


To do what?


Nothing, absolutely nothing.


Being seen exiting a house he didn't enter in the first place, at least not by the front door, would be too suspicious. The three minutes wait until Saiki can teleport back feels like hours, as he has nothing to do but think.

 

Very intrusive and annoying thoughts.


Because as much as he wanted to deny it with all his willpower, he was worrying. It's what Saiki did best, be paranoid and untrusting of anything he didn't know; and at the moment, he didn't know why the frankly vast amount people who bothered him on a near-constant basis where nowhere to be seen.


They're probably alright, it's not like they didn't deal by themselves before.


Somehow that manages to be the worst meddling thought he's had so far because it carries implications that would be detrimental for Saiki to understand. He doesn't want to either.


His inner clock tells him he can finally teleport again, but even when he does and when he tries to look for something to busy himself with, there's nothing. No interesting shows airing at that hour or day, no new movies he doesn't already know by heart, his last new book just finished. Saiki's mind can't seem to focus on anything because it's; -he's- feeling weird, out of place, like he's supposed to be doing something else but he can't figure out what.


He puts on the germanium ring again, but the silence is no longer welcoming, it's heavy all around Saiki, like his aura when his limiters are gone and it makes him uneasy, but taking it off isn't something he wants to do either. He just wants to listen to very specific voices he somehow can stand even less than his front neighbors judging thoughts or the florists nearby ideas for a new bouquet.


Liar


A sigh escapes him unwillingly. Saiki backs up until his knees hit the mattress and he lays down to think. His unobstructed gaze fixes itself on the ceiling and he thinks it's definitely as bland as it looks with his glasses anyway.'


He lasted for seven and a half hours. Lasted without what he's not sure.


But that's not right, not really. Saiki knows what it is, he vaguely recognizes a something he thought he'd left behind in middle school.
He didn't need it anymore.


Need and want are different


But Saiki lies to himself anyways and thinks that he doesn't want it either. He genuinely believes that he can trick his own mind into ignoring and displacing one of the few things he hadn't planned for into a less important state when he know's it could be the worst mistake ever.  Saiki needs to cut it off, a vermin that slowly claws up his throat and expands into his heart and brain like an unstoppable disease, one that makes him suffer slowly but it won't kill him. Not yet.


Turns out, he can't. He halfheartedly tries, again and again. Wants to rid himself of the provoker of all of these unwanted -feelings- he can't bring himself to control, the same ones he always complains about being deprived of because of his powers. Saiki is afraid of what he'll turn back into if he does.


He hasn't been this alone in a while. Saiki always had his mother's lightning quick thoughts since he was born, to slightly focus too when the rest of the chatter was too much. Kusuke was there most of his life too, always challenging him in one way or another, keeping him entertained.


Then he left and Saiki reluctantly felt the same thing he does right now. For a while he only had his family, then he only opened up somewhat to his mother and then it was only the unimportant chatter around him.  Leaving himself to feel it only in the back of his mind for years until high school came along.


Then he had Nendou's insistence on being 'pals', then it was Kaidou's willingness, Hairo's determination, Toritsuka, Kuboyasu, Yumehara-san, Teruhashi-san, Mera-san, all poisoning with the same weakness that will lead to his downfall.

 

Now they won't let him really try, they're at the same time cause and cure, and Saiki's afraid of what will happen when they are the ones who don't bother trying anymore and he finally is free of pain.

 

Joy too


Saiki takes a deep breath.

 


He opens his eyes.

Notes:

Loneliness

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