Chapter Text
Frost makes it to the elevator in record time and mashes the door close button until the metal box is whirring downwards.
More impressive still, he makes it to his apartment even quicker, and as soon as the door shuts and locks behind him, he sinks to the floor.
White-hot shame boils in his chest like magma. Why would he do that? There was no mistaking what he had tried to do. Gricko wouldn’t be able to play it off in his mind.
Frost had just managed to single-handedly ruin one of the greatest friendships he'd ever had. And if he managed to ostracize Gricko, that means the others would probably follow suit. Soon he’d be all alone, and Kremy would fire him too because why would he keep him there anyway?
Without a job he wouldn’t be able to afford rent, and he’d have to sell all his earthly possessions, and then he’d still go broke, and soon he’d be homeless and starving on the street.
His breathing turns erratic, and his chest feels like it's caving in. Attempting to stand, he finds his legs have gone wobbly, and he simply slumps back down. When he glances at his palms, they’re shaking erratically and his vision is blurring around the edges. A small voice in the farthest corner of his mind tells him he's having a panic attack.
Yes, he thinks, I am having a panic attack, but what am I supposed to do with that information.
It's hard for him to keep his train of thought, preferring to spiral into doom rather than be helpful.
Think.
Breathe. Torbek has different breathing exercises he does whenever he feels overwhelmed. He's feeling very overwhelmed.
What was it again? In for four, hold for four, out for four.
Counting slowly in his mind, he breathes like that for more times than he can count. Eventually his heartbeat slows and his vision clears.
The burning in his bones is replaced with exhaustion, and he finally manages to stand and drag himself to bed, not bothering to shower.
He calls in sick the next day.
Hootsie walks back into the living room clad in her pajamas, and a confused look crosses her face.
-Where did Frost go?-
Gricko still feels too stunned to speak. Shaking his head, he finally responds.
“Home. I think.”
-What happened? I thought he was going to decorate with us?-
“I… I don't know. We can still decorate, though.”
Hootsie shakes her head.
-Let's wait till Frost comes over again.-
He feels like saying something. Feels like he should say something. But he also feels that this isn't something that Hootsie should have to worry about.
“Sounds like a plan.”
They watch a movie instead, but Gricko can’t pay attention. It's not much of a loss, as he's seen Home Alone just about a hundred times.
His mind wanders back to Frost.
There's no mistaking it, is there? Frost had tried to kiss him.
Every time he thought about it, his face started to burn. Frost had tried to kiss him.
Frost, the perfectly composed and collected human. The crazy gorgeous Frost with vitiligo and bright red hair and even brighter green eyes.
That same Frost, wanted him.
Gricko, the embodiment of clutter and clumsiness. Single father that forgets to feed himself half the time until Hootsie reminds him that he needs to eat too.
How can someone like Frost want someone like Gricko?
His rampaging thoughts lasted long enough for Kevin to reach the grocery store, and he briefly reminisced on when groceries were that cheap.
The better question was, what was he going to do about it. Should he do anything about it? Maybe Frost regretted what he did, and wanted Gricko just to forget all about it. Maybe he didn't even want a relationship.
Gricko can’t do flings anymore. He has more than just himself to think about now. When he has a partner, he has to worry about what they think about Hootsie, and how they treat her.
But that wasn’t a problem with Frost. He was great with Hootsie.
Frost understood and was interested in her interests, and even in the short time they’ve known each other, Gricko knows Frost cares for her.
Is he scared of the responsibility? Dating someone with a kid is essentially signing up to be another caregiver. Maybe he wasn't ready for that kind of thing, and that's why he left.
Gricko could understand, but it would be nice if Frost told him, instead of having to guess.
The movie passes by in a flash, and he's laying in bed before he knows it.
He doesn't get much sleep.
When frost wakes up the next morning, he tries to carry on as normal.
He takes a shower and does some yoga, he even manages to get dressed.
However, when faced with the door to the outside world, his stomach fills with dread. If he goes outside, he’ll just end up making a fool of himself again.
The more he tried, the worse he felt, the nausea and anxiety building until he had to sit down.
After his third attempt, he gave up and shot Kremy a quick text explaining how he didn’t feel well. Frost wasn’t too worried, it was a weekday and the rush never happened till Friday.
After much debate, he decided that instead of wallowing, he would read.
So that’s what he did. All day.
Gricko’s day could not have gone any slower. It didn’t help that he was thinking about Frost all day, he just couldn’t get him off of his mind.
He had made up his mind about heading straight to Kremy’s bar after work to intercept him and sort things out.
The thought made him queasy. He wasn’t the best at sincere conversations, and laying emotions bare freaked him out.
For Gricko, there was always a mask of comedy or some ghost of a joke when speaking on serious topics. He’s not sure if he can swing that one in Frost’s case.
He had to make sure there was no space for misunderstanding, and comedy would not help that.
By the end of the day, Gricko was practically thrumming with nerves. The walk to Kremy’s bar felt like it was too long and not long enough at the same time.
What was he going to face inside? Would Frost even want to talk to him?
With a fortifying breath, he pushed open the door and walked in.
To his surprise and slight relief, Kremy was behind the bar.
“Howdy do Gricko. What brings you in?”
Gricko feels a bit like he had the wind taken out of his sails, and his shoulders slump.
“I was hoping Frost would be here. I need to talk to him about something.”
He trails off at the end and Kremy shoots him an all too familiar look.
“Really. What kind of something?”
His eyes dart around the room, attempting to flee from Kremy’s knowing gaze.
“Well- it’s… complicated.”
“Is it really complicated, or are you just making it complicated?”
Running a hand through his hair, he sighs.
“Yes? I don’t know. It is complicated, in a way, but from other angles maybe it’s not? If that makes sense.”
Kremy absentmindedly cleans glasses as Gricko rambles.
“Not really. Can you give me specifics?”
His face heats up as he recalls the night prior.
“Frost tried to kiss me.”
Kremy’s eyes widen in surprise, and he stops what he’s doing for just a moment.
“And you didn’t want him to?”
He knows he’s beet red at this point, so he dives head first.
“I’m not opposed to the idea. But he didn’t exactly finish the transaction? Hootsie came in right when he was about to… ya know. And he bolted. I wanted to talk to him here but, clearly, he’s not here.”
Kremy nods sagely as Gricko babbles and strokes his chin in thought.
“That does explain why he called in sick today. I reckon he’s at home.”
Gricko slumps onto the bar in defeat. He now had to muster the courage to face Frost again.
“What’s the matter? Isn’t this a good thing? You and Frost have had googly eyes for each other since you met.”
He sits up once again.
“We have not.”
“You sure have.”
“Have not! I look at frost with perfectly normal eyes.”
Kremy scoffs.
“Oh yeah, like you weren’t checking him out when y’all met at the bar.”
“Who wouldn’t! But that’s beside the point.”
He steals himself, the truth is always the hardest to say out loud.
“I’m scared that he thinks it was a mistake. I mean, why wouldn’t he call me or something.”
Kremy stops what he's doing, looking Gricko in the eyes seriously.
“Do you want him to think it was a mistake?”
Gricko shakes his head.
“Okay then. I'm gonna tell you something.”
The taller man leans in closer and lowers his voice.
“Remember when me and Gid first got together, and it was insanely obvious that we had the hots for each other?”
“Uh, yeah. You two were like teenagers… Oh, Gid~ How's about you help me clean up after y'alls gig, I’d really appreciate it…”
Gricko clasps his hands together and blinks rapidly at Kremy while doing a poor imitation of his accent. That earns him a quick flick to the nose.
“Exactly. That's how you and Frost are acting. Oh, hey there, guy I just met. Would you like to come get dinner with me in ten minutes?”
His joke was thrown right back in his face as Kremy made an equally terrible impression of Gricko.
“Hey! We were all gonna get food anyway!”
Kremy quiets his protests with a glance.
“Okay! Okay… Maybe you're right.”
“I am right.”
Gricko groans and slumps against the bar once again.
“What am I supposed to do!”
“You tell him how you feel.”
They sit in silence for a while, Gricko trying to absorb all the information that was just dumped on him. The gears in his head work overtime as he absentmindedly trails the wood grain of the bar top with his finger.
“Wait a minute.”
Kremy pulls out a pocket watch and clicks it open.
“Don’t you have rehearsals?”
“Shit.”
He was able to make it to Gideon's house in a record fifteen minutes. Though he was red in the face and sweaty.
“There ya are! We were wondering if you’d forgot. Where’s Hootsie?”
A few deep breaths later, he's able to speak again.
“School… She started an after school book club.”
They talk more on the way to the garage. Gideon recounting how Twig was starting to mess around with the violin and wanted to try out some songs.
He tried to listen, and be attentive, but it felt like his mind was miles away.
“Hey Gricko! Are you okay?”
Twig's voice takes a second longer to register than it should, and he shakes himself back to reality.
“Yeah, I’m alright. Gid was telling me something about you and violin?”
She proceeds to prattle on about how she’s been practicing and how there are some really cool songs with the violin, which Gricko agrees with.
The rest of Rehearsals continues as usual, but everyone can sense something is mildly off with Gricko. They say nothing, not wanting to put him on the spot.
With their instruments tuned, and warmups finished, they begin to play.
They start simple, with The Eagles “Hotel California”. As the familiar cords pierce through the fog that’s been clouding his brain, he feels the music surround him.
He lets himself drift into the melody and loses himself to the tune. The song ends sooner than he expects, but after that they’re right on to the next one.
By the end, his throat is parched, and his hands are a bit stiff, but his chest feels lighter. Music had always brought him relief, and it hadn’t failed him today.
While putting away his gear, he thinks, less anxiously than before.
“Hey twig?”
Twig turns with such speed that her braids whack her in the face.
“Yes?”
“Do you think Hootsie could stay at yours tonight? I’ve got some stuff I got to take care of.”
She has an all too knowing look on her face, and Gricko doesn’t know how to feel about it.
“Of course! Tell Frost I said hello.”
“I will.”
He says, before thinking better of it, and his face grows hot. The shorter woman simply smirks at him and skips off.
Gricko doesn’t think a door has ever been more intimidating. The reason being that Frost was behind that door. If he was being honest, he really wanted to see the man, but knowing the conversation they were about to have made his stomach churn.
Maybe he should turn back. Spend the night in his pj’s eating ice cream, forget about all his problems and veg out.
Shaking his head, he tries his best to psych himself up. It’s just talking. He talked all the time. Many people said that he was too good at talking.
For the fourth time, he raised his hand to knock and second guessed himself.
Maybe he wasn’t even home. He could be out, not even thinking about what happened last night.
His train of thought is interrupted by a shocking *click* and the door in front of him is opened.
Standing before him was the man who had been on his mind all day, and he forgot everything he had wanted to say.
Frost's eyes were wide with panic, of course the moment he was able to muster up enough courage to step outside the one person he was avoiding was standing right there.
Gricko looks almost as shocked as he feels, eyebrows high on his head.
They stand there staring dumbly at each other for what feels like hours to Frost, before Gricko finally speaks.
“Can I come in?”
His apartment looked exactly the same as the last time he was here, walls devoid of decoration and surfaces clear and clean.
Frost offers Gricko a seat on his couch, and he takes it, Frost remains standing.
The tension in the air is thick and palpable, if someone didn’t say something soon, Gricko thought he might be crushed under the weight of it.
“Gricko I-“
“Frosty-“
Their words overlap and both go silent once more, Gricko gesturing to frost for him to go first.
He tenses for a brief second, his courage faltering.
“I’m sorry. About last night, I shouldn’t have tried to do that.”
Frost’s eyes dart to the floor, unable to hold his gaze.
Gricko takes a deep breath, preparing for the plunge.
“Do you regret it?”
Frost looks back up, shock clear on his face.
“What?”
Gricko doubles down.
“Do you regret trying to kiss me last night?”
His face heats up, saying it out loud somehow gave it more impact.
“I- maybe. I shouldn’t have sprung that on you-“
Gricko stands up, cutting Frost off.
“And if I kissed you back? Would you regret it then?”
Frost's head was spinning, he knew his face was red, and he could tell he was stuttering.
“N-no. I don’t know. I-“
He swallows, trying to regain some semblance of composure.
“No. I wouldn’t have regretted it.”
Gricko steps forward, effectively breaching Frost’s personal space.
The shorter man has to look up to meet his eyes, and Frost nearly faints. He was even more beautiful up close, and his eyes were so blue, and his stomach was turning over and over again.
Gricko feels much the same, his heart beating wildly in his chest as he continues to push these boundaries.
“Would you regret it…”
He tried to center himself, his face was on fire, and he thought he might lose his footing if he wasn’t careful.
“Right now. Would you regret it if you kissed me right now?”
They’re so close at this point that their breaths mingle, and it makes his hair stand on end.
“No.”
And that’s all it takes for Gricko to lean in and take what he’s been craving for so long, without even knowing it.
He takes Frost's chin gently, tipping him downwards to his level, and he leans in, in, in…
Their lips meet and Frost can’t tell if this is really happening. Gricko’s lips are slightly chapped, and the kiss ends as soon as it happens, but he’s left dazed, feeling like he’s sixteen all over again.
His fingertips are tingling, and he feels as though lightning just ran through him. When they pull apart, Frost thinks for a moment that he’s dreaming.
Gricko takes this moment of quiet to soak up every detail of Frost’s face. The way his nose slopes downward. How the pale skin around his eyes makes them so much brighter. He could write songs about Frost’s eyes.
But that could come later. Right here, and now, Gricko simply enjoyed being in Frost’s presence.
Gricko stayed over for another hour, talking about anything and everything. They planned a day the next for them to go on a proper date, and shared one last parting kiss.
This one lasted a bit longer, and it felt almost like a promise
When Frost goes into work the next day, Kremy greets him with a knowing smile.
“Well, don’t you seem chipper.”
Then, on a less teasing note,
“I’m glad y’all worked things out.”