Chapter Text
Rays of burning sunlight flooded through thin glass, heating the small classroom like a sauna. The school claimed to have internal air conditioning, but it never seemed effective on the upper floors. This had been the cause of much debate among the students, leading to many speculations on the supposed air conditioning unit. In the end, no conclusion was found, but that didn’t make the summer months any less miserable.
Todoroki stared down at the incoherent notes he had scribbled, chewing his tongue while he tried to decide whether they were anything worth keeping. After several seconds of staring blankly at the incomprehensible words, he sighed and flipped to a fresh page. By this point he’d lost the train of Aizawa’s lecture, but it was better to try and listen rather than stare at pages of notes he would never understand.
Normally this wasn’t an issue. He rarely struggled to focus during lectures and the material was usually pretty straight forward, but today, everything seemed off. It had started at breakfast, or perhaps before—everything since that morning was a little fuzzy. At first he’d brushed it off as being tired, but as the day went on and the weirdness only grew, he’d begun to suspect something more than just lack of sleep.
“Todoroki.”
His head snapped up at Aizawa’s firm voice. He swallowed. Not only was Aizawa staring fixedly down at him, but the entire class had turned to watch the interchange. Unsure what to say, Todoroki simply nodded.
Aizawa gave a long-suffering sigh. “Care to explain why you have been staring at the same page in your notebook for the past twenty minutes? Without making any notes, I might add.”
Todoroki gulped. He could almost feel the eyes of his classmates burning into him. “I... I got distracted. Sorry, Aizawa sensei.”
A few snickers rippled throughout the room, raising an embarrassed flush to his already hot face.
“Distracted, you say?” Aizawa twirled a pencil through his long fingers, eyes still fixed on the dual-haired student.
“Yes.” Todoroki shuffled his feet under the desk, wishing he could borrow Hagakure’s power long enough to escape the suppressing classroom.
A soft cough settled the still giggling students as Aizawa cleared his throat from the front of the room. “Very well. Don’t let me catch you drifting off again.”
The lecture resumed, but Todoroki’s nonexistent concentration was shattered. He stared down at the now blank sheet open in his notebook, fighting the waves of embarrassment that attempted to swallow him. He knew others were watching him. He didn’t have to look.
By the time the bell rang for lunch, Todoroki was no further in his note taking and his head was starting to ache. He almost wished he could go back to the dorms and lie down before their afternoon classes, but Uraraka’s wide grin as she ushered him to lunch was too hard to ignore.
Ever since the sports festival, Todoroki had taken to sitting with the self-proclaimed ‘Deku Squad.’ He wasn’t quite sure how that happened, but Uraraka and Midoriya had continued to ask him to sit with them on a daily basis until it just became habit. Sometimes he still wondered if they really wanted him there or had just offered so he didn’t have to sit alone, but in the end the comfort of having some real friends won out and he continued to eat with them.
“Okay, but—was anyone else confused by that math problem this morning? I’m so lost!” Uraraka flung her hands up in the air, huffing in frustration.
“Yeah, I was a little lost too,” Midoriya admitted with a sigh. “I read the textbook over last night but Ectoplasm sensei just goes so fast!”
Todoroki decided not to mention that he had phased out for the entire math class and had no idea what question they were discussing. It was easier to walk silently at the back of their little group and hope no one asked for his opinion.
“We should have a study session tonight so we can all go over it together,” Iida suggested, arms wind-milling in the way they always did when he got excited.
Uraraka clapped her hands in agreement, nodding vigorously. “Oh yes please! I know I’d be staring at it for hours if I just tried to figure it out on my own. And we can have snacks!”
They continued to discuss plans for that evening while they collected their lunch and settled down at their usual table, but Todoroki had long since stopped listening. He stared down at his plate, poking away at the lump of noodles with his chopsticks. Cold soba had always been his favourite, but suddenly it didn’t seem very appetising. Neither did the scent of curry wafting over from Uraraka’s plate. Now that he thought about it, he felt kind of sick. Not really sick sick like he had a stomach virus, but queasy enough that food seemed like a very bad idea. He was probably just over tired. That had to be it.
“You okay, Todoroki?” Midoriya asked suddenly, eying the dual-haired teen in concern.
“Yeah, you’ve barely touched your food,” Uraraka pointed out. “Are you feeling sick?”
Todoroki froze, chopsticks raised to poke once more at the cold noodles. He lowered his hand slowly, setting the utensils down on the table. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just not very hungry.”
“It is always important to eat a healthy lunch. Especially when we have such active lives,” Iida put in dramatically. “Plus, we have hero training after this so you will need your strength.”
Todoroki sighed, rubbing the tips of his fingers into his aching temple. “Yeah, I know.” As much as he loved having friends, he wished they weren't so perceptive. This would all be okay if he could just push through the day and then sleep off whatever it was that was messing with his body.
“You sure you’re not feeling sick?” Uraraka prodded. “You never usually have trouble eating lunch.”
The fact that people kept asking him that only made the queasy feeling grow. “I’m not sick,” he said stubbornly, perhaps a bit too harshly as Uraraka recoiled slightly at the words.
“Oh. Okay. Sorry if I upset you by asking. I was just worried is all.”
Well now Todoroki felt like a total jerk. Somehow no matter how hard he tried, he always managed to say something stupid and offend someone.
“Sorry. I, uh… I think I’m just gonna get ready for hero training.” He scooped up his bag and grabbed the still very full plate from the table.
“Wait! Todoroki!” Midoriya called, but he strode across the cafeteria, not looking back.
I just need to get away for a bit, he told himself firmly. If I stay I’ll just hurt them more. He dumped the uneaten soba into the bin and headed straight for Gym Gamma where their hero training was scheduled to be held. There were only about ten minutes left before class, so he sat down on the floor outside the changing rooms and rested his head against the concrete wall. The cool surface felt nice against his aching head and with the smell of food gone, the nausea all but disappeared.
He would have been content to rest there until the day ended, but far too quickly excited voices filled the hallway. With a heavy sigh, he hauled himself upright, wincing at the sudden headrush that painted his vision grey. By the time he’d blinked away the cloud of fuzzy stars, Midoriya was standing in front of him, concerned eyes tracing his frame.
“Are you okay? You left pretty suddenly and you looked kinda dizzy just now…” He trailed off, fiddling nervously with the strap of his yellow backpack. “Are you sure you don’t want to sit this one out?”
“I’m fine,” Todoroki replied, fighting back the urge to snap. He wasn’t about to miss training just because of a stupid headache. He wasn’t that weak.
Midoriya looked ready to argue, but the arrival of All Might effectively cut him off.
Todoroki breathed a sigh of relief, even though their teacher’s voice sent stabs of pain lancing through his skull.
“Hello, young heroes!” All Might boomed. “Today we will be working in groups of four. You will take it in turns to fight each other. While the first two battle, the other pair will evaluate their performance and then share their observations with their teammates after. Make sense?”
A chorus of affirmations rippled through the students.
“Alright. Now come draw your team assignments.”
Bakugo. Why did he have to be paired with Bakugo? At least Kirishima and Mina were friendly and non-judgmental, but he just didn’t feel up to facing the angry blond’s taunts.
“You ready to fight, IcyHot?” Bakugo snarled as they made their way over to their designated corner of the training room. “You better be more focussed than you were in class this morning. I want a real fight, so you better come at me with all you’ve got, Half ‘n’ Half.”
Todoroki ignored him. He took his place several metres back from Bakugo and prepared to fight.
“And... go!” Mina yelled, punching her fist in the air.
Immediately Bakugo lunged forward, snarling fiercely as he aimed a large explosion at his opponent.
Todoroki dodged, kicking out his right foot to send ice racing to counter Bakugo’s attack.
An angry howl split the air, followed by another barrage of explosions. “Use your fucking fire, dammit!” Bakugo screeched, palms sparking with rage.
Todoroki leapt to the side, only narrowly missing the fierce attack. He flung another ice wall at Bakugo, gritting his teeth against the pain that flared through his skull. Whether it was because of the pain or his lack of concentration, his control was slipping. It felt as if his quirk was a living being, struggling and raging to free itself from the confines of his body.
“DAMMIT ICYHOT!!!” Bakugo shrieked and that was the final straw.
He was not going to let Bakugo defeat him. He refused to allow his classmate to see him as weak. This was not a challenge he could back down from. With a yell of his own, he activated his left side, watching as orange flames licked across his outstretched arm. “Think next time before you speak, Bakugo,” he growled and hurled the seething ball of fire at his opponent.
Time seemed to slow, magnifying each moment as the flames rose out of control, raging and growing in a way they never had before. A way he never wanted them to. “No!!” he screamed, throwing out a spray of ice crystals in a desperate attempt to neutralise the rampant flames.
The next ten seconds were a blur. His hastily formed ice wasn’t fast enough to fight off his initial attack, but somehow, unbelievably, Bakugo managed to fling himself out of the way just in time.
“Stop!” A fierce voice boomed through the gym and then suddenly All Might was there.
“Omg, Bakugo!” Mina raced towards her fallen friend, ignoring the angry shout from All Might.
Kirishima was hot on her heels, eyes wide with terror.
With a groan, a very stunned and slightly singed Bakugo crawled from the shattered debris Todoroki’s attack had torn up.
“Bakubro!” Kirishima sprinted toward him, pulling the grumbling teen into his arms.
Mina flopped on top of them, adding her arms to the hug. “Man, that was scary! What the hell happened?!”
“Don’t ask me,” Bakugo grumbled, brushing dust from his arms. “IcyHot’s the one who got all out of control.” He shoved angrily at his friends. “Oi! Get off me. I’m fine.”
Todoroki stared in horror at the disastrous scene he’d caused. The cement floor of the gym was completely demolished, shattered into sharp chunks of rubble that could have killed Bakugo if he hadn’t managed to dodge so quickly. A sharp tang licked the back of his throat, bitter with anger and hatred.
This is your fault. You lost control. Bakugo could have died and it would have been all your fault. You selfish, worthless, pathetic wretch. This is what you get for not trying hard enough. This is the payback you deserve. Now you have to suffer the consequences.
The world seemed to shift around him, wavering as if his mind was trying to trick him into believing Bakugo really was dead. Todoroki shook his head fiercely, panic rising in his chest. It wasn’t real. It was all in his head. This wasn’t real.
“Young Todoroki?”
He flinched, visibly startling at All Might’s booming voice. Had he asked him a question? Was he in trouble for attacking Bakugo so fiercely?”
“Hey, bud. You don’t have to panic. You aren’t in trouble. I just want to make sure you are alright. Are you injured?”
Todoroki swallowed, staring at his boots, now tinged grey by a light dusting of cement. He wasn’t sure whether it was All Might calling him ‘bud’ or the way in which he immediately seemed to read his thoughts that sent his mind spinning. Either way he found himself grasping for words. “No,” he said finally, not meeting All Might’s eyes.
“No, you are not okay?” All Might prompted.
Todoroki shook his head in frustration. “No, I’m not injured.”
All Might hesitated for a long moment but finally nodded. “Alright. Now can you tell me what happened just now?”
A lump rose in Todoroki’s throat, hot and constricting. Go on, Shouto. Tell him. Tell him how you couldn’t control your own power and almost killed your classmate.
“I… I lost focus,” he whispered, unable to keep the slight tremor from his voice. “I wasn’t paying enough attention and I accidentally put too much force into my fire.”
Liar, the voice whispered.