CausticCaprine
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Stella’s beak crunched from side to side like she was physically chewing on the words. She’d never been particularly skilled at idioms. Andrealphus sighed. “I mean I’m going to sleep with him, Stella.”
She scowled. “Is that why you’re dressed like mum?”
Andrealphus loved Stella. She was boisterous and gorgeous and overflowing with enough life for the both of them. More than that, she was family, and family was unconditional. On some days, it was just harder to remember that.
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Andrealphus talks business with Paimon and things sure do happen. -
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He’d forgotten how big Stolas’ eyes were. I could turn you to stone. Not that I ever would, of course. Stolas had told him that once. Blitzo hadn’t thought much of it at the time. Stolas said a lot of shit when Blitzo was lying against him, coated in sweat and working up the energy to go.
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Blitzo gets everything he ever wanted and things sure do happen. -
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Loona would rather gouge her eyes out than stumble through another day as I.M.P’s receptionist. When Stolas offers her a well-paid position at his manor, she should be ecstatic. And she would be, if not for Stolas’ mood swings, the blood, and the creeping sensation that something awful lurks in the mansion’s depths. Still, a job is a job.
Right?
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"If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him."
Well, that's all fucking great and shit, but what do you do when the Buddha is yourself, and the road is a series of dreams you can't wake up from, where all you do is fail the (very likely) love of your life over and over again?
Bookmarked by CausticCaprine
26 Aug 2025
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Most teenagers couldn’t wait for their 18th birthday, because for most teenagers it symbolized a time when you truly gained your independence and had the freedom to do what you wanted when you wanted.
For Stolas, turning 18 felt like the exact opposite.
“What if you married someone terrible? Like… someone super embarrassing, or whatever… that even if your Dad made you get a divorce no one wanted to marry you because of how terrible they were?” Blitzø asked.
Stolas stared at him for a long while before answering. “I am marrying someone terrible and embarrassing. Her name is Stella.”
“No, Stols.. what I’m saying is what if you married someone like an imp? Wouldn’t that be enough to make them not want you anymore? Matter of fact, make it a dude, just to really drive it home to the other Geotia that you’re totally unhinged.”
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Or; Stolas and Blitzø remained friends after meeting as children, and Blitzø has the brilliant plan for them to get married to tarnish the Prince's reputation so that no other Goetia will want to marry him. And for absolutely NO other reason, or ulterior motive. At all.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 88,845
- Chapters:
- 11/14
- Comments:
- 434
- Kudos:
- 490
- Bookmarks:
- 137
- Hits:
- 11,022
Bookmarked by CausticCaprine
23 Jul 2025
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Nearly a decade has passed since Stolas regained his powers and Andrealphus lost his. In the years since, Stolas and Blitzø have built a happy life together, Via is on tour with her band and Loona, now an independent private investigator, still lives in her and Blitzø’s old apartment.
One evening, Loona realizes that fate has a funny sense of humor as she finds herself in a seedy strip club in Lust. What she doesn’t expect to find is a long-lost bird. But the years have changed him…OR
Almost a decade after his fall from power, Loona stumbles upon Andrealphus working in a strip club, selling himself to survive. Without much thought, she takes him in - just like a stray in need of shelter.
NEXT UPDATE: Sometime in September (I'm currently out of steam it seems - I'm so sorry)
Bookmarked by CausticCaprine
16 Apr 2025
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Summary
Following Verosika's Hallows Eve party Stolas has to face some uncomfortable truths about his actions.
But what if he could do things differently? What if he had the chance to learn to be better? That's exactly the question he tries to answer the way he solves all of his problems: with magic.
Now he has the chance to do it all over again, starting from the morning after Blitzø took his grimoire. Will he make the same mistakes or will he learn from them?
Or: Stolas uses his second chance to work for I.M.P. rather than making the full moon arrangement and Blitzø catches feelings for his new office manager.
Note: if you're looking for an anti-Stolas story, this isn't it. This is a tale about taking responsibility and making the most of the chances we are given to do better <3
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 185,240
- Chapters:
- 28/35
- Comments:
- 1,333
- Kudos:
- 1,846
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- 472
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- 70,536
Bookmarked by CausticCaprine
22 Mar 2025
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Summary
When he and Fizz link the Lust Ring attack to a genuine threat from the human world, Asmodeus decides to investigate and dismantle the D.H.O.R.K.S. To make his cover as a human scientist convincing, he ropes Stolas into playing the role of his fake husband—while Fizz stays behind to manage Lust.
Adjusting to fake-married life is a process, but it may turn out to be a worthwhile one. Albeit after putting in a lot of effort.
Bookmarked by CausticCaprine
22 Mar 2025