Haethe
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Many Loved Before Us, I Know That We Are Not New by servetas
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV)
16 Jan 2026
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Summary
“This is hard to talk about,” is all he says, though he knows it will amount to nothing.
Shane’s fingertips are feather-soft on his chest. “You have to.”
He has to, because Shane and Ilya have this thing, now, this agreement. Nothing is too hard to talk about. Nothing is off limits. They have to be bare, have to surrender the deepest crevice of their soul to one another. And Ilya, for whom this is easier said than done, whose chest carries a perpetual weight, an immovable mass, it’s all worth it – worth the relief smoothing over Shane’s features, the reassurance that he’s not worried anymore, that Ilya can give him this peace, albeit only a fragment of what Shane gives him by just being there when he wakes up. He would never say it, but he thinks that what he has to offer to Shane amounts to nothing – nothing compared to what Shane does, what Shane is, by simply nuzzling into his chest and sighing into his sleep, late at night when all Ilya can do is lay awake and just feel.
“I need more,” Ilya says. “And is nothing you can do. I need you inside me, and it feels terrible.” He swallows, with great difficulty. God. “I need to– I need to eat you.”
or, Ilya never knew love can hurt this good
Bookmarked by Haethe
28 Jan 2026
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He has this problem. Things catch his eye. He had to take the air freshener off the rearview mirror of his car. The little silver bead drove him fucking crazy to the point he thought it was becoming a traffic hazard. He has to divert his eye when he steps into the lobby of the rink because of that one time the sun shone through the window and hit the glass of the vending machine in a way that made him squint and lose his breath. Light catching the plastic yellow wrapper of some snack bar he can’t even watch Hayden eat anymore.
Some moments in Shane Hollanders life between 2013 and 2017.
Bookmarked by Haethe
27 Jan 2026
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Then Ilya sighed. Shane looked him up and down once in quick succession. He couldn’t quite read his expression.
“What?”
“I think I am…” Ilya pursed his lips “...jealous?”
“You’re jealous?” Shane raised his eyebrows. “Of an inanimate object?”
“What is…”
“It means like,” he sighed, grateful to get the attention shifted off himself, if only for a second, “it’s just a thing.”
“Then why so many words when you could just say thing?” Ilya’s accent clipped over the digraph as he rushed to the end of the sentence.
“It’s just two words. And it’s about specifying-”
“Anyway,” Ilya shook his head, deflecting Shane’s rambling. “Yes. I am jealous of the thing.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
Bookmarked by Haethe
27 Jan 2026
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“What is grailed dot com?” Shane reads out loud from the computer screen.
“How have you spent almost fifty grand on it in the last year?”
Ilya doesn’t reply.
“Is it a-” it’s like Ilya can hear the gears turning in Shane’s head, “Is it a porn website?”
Ilya laughs lightly, endeared by Shane's choice of words, “As if you would know.”
“Fuck you, I’ve watched porn.”
Ilya turns to face him, a look of pleased incredulity painted on his features. He watches as Shane processes what he just said and then shakes his head as if to rid himself of the trance. Shane both hates and loves these moments when Ilya gets him to say ludicrous things in his own defense. As if he even needs to defend himself.
Shane and Ilya talk about personal finance, porn and they are in love.
Bookmarked by Haethe
27 Jan 2026
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Summary
L: It’s easy to quit if you really want to.
L: I just didn’t want to.Ilya Rozanov quits smoking for the umpteenth time. Or – everything is about smoking, except for smoking which is about Shane Hollander.