Helianthus



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    Shrugging one shoulder far more casually than he possibly feels, Ilya says, “I like both. Is secret, okay?”

    “Okay,” Hollander says, voice cracking.

    He doesn’t say anything else. The air’s so heavy around them that it feels like being in the middle of a scrum, the weight and heat of all those bodies pressing down on you. Danger always feels like hockey; it’s the most dangerous thing Ilya knows, except for this. Everything dangerous in his life involves men’s bodies and just how close he can get to them. Closer than he probably should.

    A year after mysteriously dropping out of the 2009 draft, Shane Hollander is signed by the Boston Raiders, right behind Ilya Rozanov. Having the two biggest stars in the league on the same line is great for Boston — but playing alongside their worst rival was never exactly in Shane or Ilya's plans. Especially not when staying away from each other starts to feel just as impossible as getting along.

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    15 May 2026

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    Rozanov cocks his head to the side curiously. “This is porn thing?”

    “It isn’t a porn thing!”

    “It feels different?” He asks, nosing along his throat. “For you?”

    “I don’t know, but I don’t think so.” Psychologically, yes; physically, probably not. He hadn’t felt whatever Rozanov had clearly felt the moment the condom broke. “Though I think it’ll feel different for you. Maybe better.”

    Rozanov pulls away until they can look each other in the eye.

    “I always feel good with you.” It doesn’t feel like a compliment, but like he’s making a point. “You don’t need to do this for me.”

    “I know. I want to do it.” Shane insists.

    Shane and Ilya experiment. It's a success.

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    06 Apr 2026

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    Regina to Edmonton was nine hours by bus if the weather was decent; it took a bit longer if — for example — your bus lost power on Highway 11 just past Dundurn, Saskatchewan.

    Team buses, night drives, and one way things might have started differently.

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    30 Mar 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Set after season 1.
    Shane and Ilya try this dating thing for real.
    Slice-of-life explorations on sex, rivalry, and looove.

    Now complete!

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    27 Mar 2026

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    "Listen, Mr. Rozanov." The general manager is talking out of the side of his mouth, his cigarette dropping ashes all over the hotel table. "We like you. We want you. We understand you are putting yourself under a fair amount of risk here, meeting with us like this. I hope it's obvious that if you play for us, we will set you up for a good life in Canada."

    He pauses, looks Ilya in the eye. "But you have to understand, if you agree to this, you have to be prepared to leave with us right now."

    Red Army superstar Ilya Rozanov defects from the Soviet Union. A Cold War-era hockey AU

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    26 Mar 2026