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In which Draco is a Veela and Harry is his mate. Dark!Humor or Crack!Horror, you decide.
"When Draco Malfoy turned 16 years old, he thought he’d make a night of it. He went to a club, met a bloke, and then promptly took himself next door pay-by-the-hour hotel, determined to get the most bang for the Galleon, in a manner of speaking.
Not even one full Galleon into it, Draco Malfoy lost his virginity.
It all went just how he’d always imagined it, and it was, all in all, a bloody good time.
Waking up the next morning, however, next to a bloody ribcage and a man’s intestines strewn all over the bed like thick wet streamers - that was a bloody bad time."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,172
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 125
- Kudos:
- 2,616
- Bookmarks:
- 622
- Hits:
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Bookmarked by Kiyjo
03 May 2026
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Practically Soulmates by quackquackcey for liminialism
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
05 Aug 2024
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When Draco turns thirty, he gains the ability to read minds simply by touching people. It doesn't usually impede his daily life, but he always makes sure not to touch one person—Harry Potter. However, when Potter is temporarily transferred to his department, he grabs Potter's hand after accidentally spilling coffee on him only to see fantasies of...himself? In compromising positions?
Will this new knowledge result in a whirlwind of love or a recipe for disaster?~ 🌪💘
Bookmarked by Kiyjo
03 May 2026
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Garden of You by thoracicduck (aproposofeverything)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
01 Jan 2023
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Draco has Hanahaki Disease, and he would rather die than admit that he's liked his childhood nemesis all along (for reasons he does not expect); Harry warms up slowly to his unusual friend with a mysterious disease that doesn't get better.
A story of two men reopening old wounds and seeking comfort in each other's presence, wherein they find common ground in unspoken grief.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,990
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 121
- Kudos:
- 2,968
- Bookmarks:
- 624
- Hits:
- 30,434
Bookmarked by Kiyjo
03 May 2026
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We Might Be Too Old for a Bildungsroman by calrissian18
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
19 Sep 2015
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Summary
Harry finds something he’s been looking for since the war’s end. Admittedly, the packaging’s a bit odder than he expected.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,303
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 111
- Kudos:
- 3,056
- Bookmarks:
- 627
- Hits:
- 56,459
Bookmarked by Kiyjo
03 May 2026
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speak of the devil (and the devil shall appear) by mad1492, milkandhoney, sophisticatedyet
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
24 Sep 2021
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“So, there I was: probably a little bit concussed, stinking of vinegar, pickles sliding into my socks — and of course, that’s when Potter turns up.”
Pansy's gaze drifted over Draco’s shoulder and her lips twisted. “That’s funny, considering he also just appeared behind you."
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Unbeknownst to anyone, Draco gets hit by a curse. Suddenly, Harry Potter is around a lot more than either of them want him to be.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 87,971
- Chapters:
- 17/17
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 395
- Kudos:
- 4,040
- Bookmarks:
- 1,107
- Hits:
- 69,909
Bookmarked by Kiyjo
25 Apr 2026

