Meloncomia



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    Every Boston Raider knows that although their captain has a girl in every port, he’s got a soft spot for the one in Montreal. Dr. Shane Hollander knows it’s better to have a semi-regular source of casual sex than try to make a relationship work during residency. Ilya Rozanov knows that the doctor he’s fucking in Montreal is unaware that he plays hockey, and in fact probably thinks he’s Bratva.

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    16 Jan 2026

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    Shane releases what feels like his first exhale in forever—Ilya Rozanov, taken out by the common flu. Not ignoring him. Not ending anything. Still, the knot in his chest doesn’t ease completely with the vision of Ilya unwell and alone in Shane’s head.

    JANE

    Are you at your house?

    LILY

    Where else, Jane?

    JANE

    Don’t fall asleep. I’ll be there soon. 

    LILY

    No, am sick. I told you. 

    JANE

    I heard you. I’ll be there soon.

    Or, Ilya’s sick and Shane wants, and wants, and wants. 

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    07 Jan 2026

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    Ilya Rozanov has shared a file with you: Sex_statistics_presentation_2017.ppt

     

    (or: Ilya drops a bunch of hints about his love life to his teammates. They do not pick up on them)

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    04 Jan 2026

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    “Should call you the Ottawa Puppies,” says the Toronto centre, Svensson. As an insult it makes no sense, so Ilya ignores it, until he continues, “Hear Hollander keeps you on a short leash.”

    Ilya is the captain, so if anything, he should be holding the leash. In English, you can be singular or plural, but he knows what Svensson is trying to say. He is saying Ilya Rozanov, you are Hollander’s bitch.

    “Only sometimes,” Ilya replies, grinning. He wins the face off.

    OR: Ilya trains himself to be a very, very good guard dog for Shane.

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    • Part 1 of Dog
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    29 Dec 2025

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    ilyarozanovofficial ✓ on Instagram
    [a slideshow post of Ilya and Shane’s time in the Bahamas, complete with scenic sunset pictures, coconuts by the beach, and a shot of Shane from the back showing only his forearm and his hand linked with Ilya’s, leading him forward]
    getaway
    1.4m likes, 3,683 comments

    COMMENTS:

    S_Hollander24
    You look very nice in that swimsuit
    4 likes

    ilyarozanovofficial
    @S_Hollander24 sorry, i have a boyfriend
    2,384 likes

    The only thing the media knows about famous model Ilya Rozanov's secret boyfriend is that he exists. Shane is happy to keep their relationship private, until he isn't.

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    29 Dec 2025