Mmbsn
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Summary
“Can you see a window?” Buck asks.
Eddie glances around. Nothing. Just darkness. “Ceiling caved in where a window probably used to be. No other doors. I’m—” he rests his head against the cement between them, sighing. “I’m stuck, bud.”
Silence ensues. For a few long seconds, neither of them says anything. Eddie is so tired of not saying anything. If he’s going to die here, he’s going to say the shit he’s been pushing down for years, even if Buck hates him for it. Buck deserves to know. Eddie deserves to have said it. Just once. Just fucking once.
He can’t die a coward. He already lived like one.
“I love you,” Eddie says, voice too quiet. On the other side of the wall, Buck’s breathing stutters. Eddie squeezes his eyes shut, heart hammering. “I love you. I’m sorry I— I’m sorry I’m telling you now. Like this.”
Or: in what Eddie Diaz thinks are his final moments, he finally confesses.
Series
- Part 2 of cjo + 911
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Summary
“Would you fire me?” Eddie follows up, because now he’s burning with desire to know. “If you were captain and I pulled something like that?”
“I would never fire you.”
“Why not?” Eddie folds his arms and quirks an eyebrow. “What about the chain of comm—”
“If you say chain of command, I will crash the car,” Buck interjects.
908 coda. Eddie stops keeping some secrets of his own, he and Buck talk, and Eddie discovers that fear may very well be the thief of joy.
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Summary
“You want to sub for me?” Buck asks, surprised but not altogether unwilling.
Eddie sets his jaw and averts his gaze. This is a horrible idea. It’s letting down one defense too many, even in front of Buck. He’s been mulling this over for days, finally working up the courage one night when they have the house to themselves.
“Not if—I mean, if you don’t want—Never mind, I shouldn’t have asked.”
“Eddie.” Buck says his name with such comfort, such love, that Eddie can’t help but look up. “I would love to do that with you.”
or, Eddie subs for the first time and learns that being soft dommed by Buck can heal him
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“Let me show you. I don’t know— I’ve never— but I want to show you. Please?”
Buck nods his head, his curls flopping over his forehead.
“Anything you want,” he murmurs into Eddie’s mouth like a promise. “Anything.”
- 907 coda. eddie has a panic attack, a sexuality crisis, and the best sex of his life before midnight.
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Summary
How do you begin to explain to someone how you’ve, in less than a week, managed to kiss your straight best friend twice.
Yes. That’s right. He’s kissed Eddie. Twice.
All because Eddie asked him to.