NothingClever



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  1. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    Hello! So while finishing up this fic, multiple side stories have popped up and I just? keep? writing??? Whoops.

    So this is just going to be a collection of the original work (they (don't) know about us) followed by a collection for extra fics that are in the same universe.

    Hope you enjoy them!!

    Words:
    34,472
    Works:
    2
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    15 May 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    It's just a hat. Ilya knows it's just a hat. He has, at various points, made a reasonable and intelligent case to himself for why it is just a hat. Shane knows exactly what the hat does to his boyfriend. Shane is not sorry about this and will gladly take responsibility for the consequences of his actions.

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    English
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    Chapters:
    1/1
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    511
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    14 May 2026

  3. Rec *

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    Anyway, Shane didn't remember exactly what was in the folder ... But he knew they were all good shots of him.

    He hastily clicked open the folder, his eyes barely glancing through the dozen or so shots there, vaguely registering a picture with a sunset background from his condo balcony, something of him laughing, a picture of him working at his laptop with his glasses on...

    The director called him again, and he shook his head, the photos blurring. Whatever. It would have to do.

    He clicked "select all," then the messages icon, then Rozanov's name. Hit send.

    ----

    Or: When never-hooked-up Shane and Ilya have to collaborate on a league charity project, Shane accidentally sends Ilya a nude.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    47,304
    Chapters:
    11/11
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    4,671
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    14 May 2026

  4. Rec *

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    “Did, uh,” Frankie starts. She sounds faint. “Did you just say your boyfriend?”

    Ilya’s stomach drops. Oh. Oh, fuck.

    He doesn’t know what his face does. There will probably be pictures of this moment all over the internet by tomorrow morning. He doubts it’s flattering, considering there’s a non-zero chance he’s going to throw up all over the microphone.

    Ilya scrambles. Too tired, too shocked at his own brain’s betrayal to know how to fix this. “Blyat,” he spits. Then he laughs, and even he can hear that it sounds more wild than genuine. “English language is hard, yes? I meant my boys, my boys who are my friends. The Centaurs, yes? They are all my boy friends.”

    OR

    Ilya Rozanov has a no-good, very bad two days and accidentally outs himself. He's not having a great time.

    Language:
    English
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    1/1
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    14 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya:
    9/10 she had freckles

    Shane:
    7.5/10 Medium dick but he ate my ass like he was starving for it

    ---

    Shane and Ilya call it quits after the All-Stars game when Ilya says they can't be anything. He says no one will fuck Shane like he can, and Shane takes that personally, starting a two year cycle of sending each other ratings of the other people they fuck

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,424
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    198
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    29,813

    13 May 2026