Pickers



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Welcome to a somewhat serious inquiry into the whereabouts of a very sneaky witch.

    Hermione Granger (badass Auror working for MACUSA) has been summoned back to Britain by Kingsley Shacklebolt to help with an investigation. Of course, Hermione agrees; working with Harry again is going to be so much fun… only, it turns out that Harry is unavailable, and unfortunately, she gets stuck with Draco Malfoy.

    Warnings:
    - Hold onto your gold; there is a Niffler in this story.
    - Draco Malfoy reserves the right to cast Aguamentis at hair he deems offensive.
    - Whatever is said in the Cave of Plunderous Intent, stays in the Cave of Plunderous Intent.
    - Approach any wine provided by the Icelandic Legend Erla with extreme caution.

    Language:
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    Words:
    160,702
    Chapters:
    26/26
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    21 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    I have never snort laughed so much in my life. Also, I want a dodger

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Hermione liked patterns. She liked predictability and proved hypotheses. Draco Malfoy was supposed to be one of the blessed few uncomplicated people in her life: someone whose motivations she’d made peace with and understood.
    Then he’d gifted her something to fist herself with and nothing was the same.

    or

    Hermione Granger starts an erotic broadcast. Draco Malfoy volunteers to be the voice.

    Language:
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    1/1
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    13 May 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.

    This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.

    When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.

    How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?

    Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!

    Series
    Language:
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    250,248
    Chapters:
    30/30
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    06 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Chapter 17

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    **COMPLETE**
    ————
    Draco Malfoy, Theodore Nott, Pansy Parkinson, and Blaise Zabini are simply trying to navigate life in a post-War Wizarding London. But something ancient hums beneath their skin, binding them together in ways they could never imagine.

    And then there's Hermione Granger and her preposterous Alien research.
    And the werewolves.
    And that pesky little prophecy.

    As a hidden past collides with the present, they'll soon discover that destiny isn’t bound by pure blood or birthright. It’s forged in true love. In the bonds of friendship. In found and chosen family and the sacrifices they make to protect it. 

    Everyone is keeping secrets. But who is…The Secret Keeper.

    Come for Dramione, 
    Stay for the Slytherins.

    Series
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    114,711
    Chapters:
    42/42
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    12 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Chapter 36

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Draco Malfoy returns to Hogwarts as a Potions Professor five years after graduating with only one mission in mind—to make his former Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor, Hermione Granger, fall in love with him; and possibly make her break off her engagement with her fiancé.

    But Hermione isn't the type to fall easily... And Draco isn't the type to give up either.

    Language:
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    159,332
    Chapters:
    35/35
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    04 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Chapter 24