SecondhandDemon
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This work is for my spouse, who has lovingly put up with me now for thirteen years.
I have a bad habit of writing my own poems in cards for birthdays and holidays. However, once I'd written this poem I knew that it didn't belong in a card.
It had to be posted here, for posterity.
If you're reading this and are NOT my spouse, I should probably apologize but really you're the one reading this, so you only have yourself to blame.
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Prompt: Introducing the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor ...
"Politeness carried the professors through the first week of classes. Pride carried them through the second: they would not capitulate to their curiosity and pepper the man with a thousand questions. They were better than their students, they vowed.
There was nothing left to carry them through the third week, however; their tongues were raw from biting and their curiosity not the least abated."
Recent bookmarks
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You, Me, and the Humanity in Between by JUBE514
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
16 Mar 2022
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Bruce doesn’t know what’s wrong with his child, but he’s pretty sure kids aren’t meant to work like this.
From the day he had looked up into the tops of the circus tent and saw a frightened mirror image of a boy who had just experienced the worst day of his life, Bruce had instantly gone into emergency mode.
The Gotham PD had wanted to pass the boy off into the care of the circus. The circus had mumbled underneath their breaths about superstitions, about not having a boy like that with them, about not being able to handle something like Dick. So GCPD, not knowing what to do, had started talking about one of the handful of overburdened boy homes that handles a majority of Gotham’s unlucky orphans.
All the while, the camera lights flash bright and loud, wanting to know everything.
Bruce couldn’t let that happen.
Not then, not ever again.
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Bruce is trying his best to protect the city that he loves. He doesn't know how exactly his Robins came to be- they're not fully human, not even at all. All he knows is that he wants to keep them safe.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 65,898
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 30
- Comments:
- 673
- Kudos:
- 10,470
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- 4,847
- Hits:
- 125,239
Bookmarked by SecondhandDemon
06 Feb 2026
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Tim figures out that the Red Hood is Jason Todd before anyone else, and with one move, manages to defuse the entire board.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,050
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 61
- Comments:
- 925
- Kudos:
- 27,054
- Bookmarks:
- 4,845
- Hits:
- 190,086
Bookmarked by SecondhandDemon
05 Feb 2026
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Drop In by iselsis for envysparkler, ChaoticNeutral18
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood: Lost Days, Batman (Comics), Robin (Comics)
10 Aug 2021
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Tim's injured, alone in Crime Alley, and the worst possible person finds him.
And yet it doesn't turn out as badly as Tim expected.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,645
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 14
- Comments:
- 334
- Kudos:
- 11,291
- Bookmarks:
- 1,791
- Hits:
- 90,085
Bookmarked by SecondhandDemon
25 Jan 2026
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A Second Chance is Like Punching a Gotham Villain.... Don't Miss by Writer_loves_tropes
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types
28 Feb 2023
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Job opening: Housekeeper/Babysitter/Bodyguard for five-year-old Timothy Drake
Requirements: None. Pretending to be Mrs. Mac's son won't even cause the Drakes to do a background check (they won't even bother to check if you're a crime lord that accidentally traveled from another dimension either)
Hours: Negotiable. No extended home visits. Must only drop off food and water twice a week because a five-year-old boy and a houseplant apparently have the same needs.
Start Date: Immediately
Or: An accidental interdimensional teleportation causes the Red Hood to end up pretending to be Jason Mac and being Timmy's babysitter.
This is my story for Febuwhump 2023. 28 Chapters of Whump, Hurt/comfort, Humor, and Fluff! Updated once every day of February.
Series
- Part 1 of A Second Chance at Happiness
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 61,842
- Chapters:
- 28/28
- Collections:
- 29
- Comments:
- 3,082
- Kudos:
- 6,954
- Bookmarks:
- 1,701
- Hits:
- 144,692
Bookmarked by SecondhandDemon
20 Jan 2026
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His comm crackles to life. “RR’s suit is in a pile on the floor,” Jason says, voice grim. “But no sign of him. Something bad must’ve happened if he ditched it all.”
“I wouldn’t say it’s bad, per se,” Dick replies, gazing down at the kid nestled against his chest. Now that he’s looking properly, he can see hints of his little brother in those small features. “But at least I can confidently say that he’s not dead.”
Or:
Tim gets de-aged to four. Dick takes care of him.
Series
- Part 1 of better and better
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 335,100
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Collections:
- 29
- Comments:
- 3,894
- Kudos:
- 10,047
- Bookmarks:
- 2,840
- Hits:
- 464,842
Bookmarked by SecondhandDemon
18 Jan 2026