SecondhandDemon
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This work is for my spouse, who has lovingly put up with me now for thirteen years.
I have a bad habit of writing my own poems in cards for birthdays and holidays. However, once I'd written this poem I knew that it didn't belong in a card.
It had to be posted here, for posterity.
If you're reading this and are NOT my spouse, I should probably apologize but really you're the one reading this, so you only have yourself to blame.
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Prompt: Introducing the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor ...
"Politeness carried the professors through the first week of classes. Pride carried them through the second: they would not capitulate to their curiosity and pepper the man with a thousand questions. They were better than their students, they vowed.
There was nothing left to carry them through the third week, however; their tongues were raw from biting and their curiosity not the least abated."
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Gloved fingers close over Tim’s throat and slowly begin to squeeze.
“Jason!” he gasps, choking. “Have you ever read Macbeth?”
The Red Hood stares at him like Tim just slapped him with a fish.
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With his grades slipping, Tim worries Bruce will take Robin away. So when the Red Hood breaks into his room with the intent to kill him, Tim decides it's a good idea to ask him for help on his English homework.It works. And then it doesn't. And then Tim solves a mystery and almost dies anyway.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,706
- Chapters:
- 3/3
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- 94
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- 1,553
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- 29,474
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Bookmarked by SecondhandDemon
11 May 2026
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Ad Infinitum; Modified by familiarities (twistsandturns)
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types
07 Nov 2022
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Tim is hunched over his computer, bouncing between a report for B (Batman, not Bruce) and a spreadsheet for B (Bruce, not Batman) when Jason stumbles into the cave. If it weren’t for the fact that Jason had been in a somewhat good mood lately, Tim probably would have been a little more concerned about this fact. Still, it’s weird when, instead of ignoring Tim’s existence like he usually does, Jason walks over to him directly and says, “I'm in a time loop and I don't know why. Fix it."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,972
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 262
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- 7,728
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- 1,766
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- 34,896
Bookmarked by SecondhandDemon
11 May 2026
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There were two kids up on the roof. They couldn’t have been older than ten, but frankly, they looked like babies. The boy had dark hair and a red jacket, while the girl was dressed in all purple with blond hair poking out from under her hood.
Jason was pushing himself over the ledge before he could really think about it. What were two kids doing on a rooftop, in the middle of the night, in Gotham?the story of two kids conning their way across gotham, and (mostly) inadvertently into the batman family.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,027
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 145
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- 3,512
- Bookmarks:
- 1,085
- Hits:
- 26,490
Bookmarked by SecondhandDemon
06 May 2026
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Globe-trotting, League-fighting hero duo Black Swan and Red Hood are up for admission to the Justice League. If only Batman could figure out who they were.
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Diana reached out and began to unwrap him, holding his hand steady. Careful not to ask another question, she said, “I hope your father deserves your devotion to him.”
As the lasso fell away, he muttered bitterly, “he didn’t.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,074
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 25
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- 505
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- 7,386
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- 1,932
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Bookmarked by SecondhandDemon
06 May 2026
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Tim's probably done it the most, but all of his siblings, at some point or another, have ducked behind Jason for safety. Jason's not sure if it's because they trust him that much or if it's because he's usually heavily armed and willing to kill. But it keeps happening- and it's both helping his image and ruining it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,624
- Chapters:
- 8/?
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 1,028
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- 8,039
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- 2,009
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- 78,708
Bookmarked by SecondhandDemon
06 May 2026