1 - 20 of 263 Works by Valgus
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You trembled as the figure came closer, stepping on a pair of Oxford.
But then you looked him in the eye, his fingers on your chin, and his right eye seemed to... glow?
"Tell me, what do you desire?" he passively gazed at you.
Discomfort swirled inside of you before you muttered, "Uh... a cottagecore life."
There was another silent, though the Mask Boys seemed to be less surprised than the Oxford Shoes because their shoulders just slumped.
"No. Really," hummed the Oxford Shoes White Hair (was that his real hair?), "What do you truly desire?"
You couldn't help but to look at his eye again, "With... pets..."
Oxford Shoes squinted.
You gulped, "A cottagecore life with pets."
He frowned.
Unaware of the Aether Core in your heart, you stumbled in Sylus' life; a yappy, weird woman who just happened to be there. But Sylus would be damned if he admitted how smitten he was, nor how incapable he was in predicting how this story would go.
Series
- Part 1 of Turn Around, Red Eyes
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Pope Demon Hunter by Valgus
Fandoms: Conclave (2024), Conclave - Robert Harris, KPop Demon Hunters (2025)
14 Jul 2025
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“My dear Vincent, you cannot just tell me that you’re a… a… DEMON HUNTER?!”
“Thomas, calm down!”
“A-a-and homily strengthen barriers that keep demons away?!”
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“This is extraordinary,” the wide eyed young doctor trembles, “It’s like in ‘Detective Conan’!”
“In what?” Ray turns his head.
“Never mind that. What do we do now?” ask the stern faced Agnes.
Janusz merely watches the small man in awe. Thomas worries the Polish think he’s completely inebriated.
“I feel perfectly fine,” Vincent assures the doctor, “If anything, I feel fantastic! I suppose youth feels magnificent, after all. Now, I don’t think we can necessarily announce to the world that the pope has shrank, but I can continue some behind-the-door work… I suppose. Though I also don’t mind museum visits.”
All the adults look at the tiny man in His Holiness’ already generally small coat, since there’s nothing children sized in the apartment.
“‘Museum visits’?” repeat Ray, who takes control of his gaping first.
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“And you would, essentially, help me? The ‘fascist’?” Goffredo huffs roughly.
You look at him for several beats. Then you laugh. Lightly. “Well, I know some people wouldn’t.”
“Then why did you?” he huffs harder.
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little monster: the patriarch's little one by Valgus
Fandoms: Conclave (2024), Conclave - Robert Harris
06 Jul 2025
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Goffredo sobbed, “Tommaso, Holy Father, I’m pregnant.”
Thomas’ jaw dropped. He immediately looked at Vincent—who couldn’t hide his shock. Ah. That was not good. Vincent was almost always anchor-like in his calm yet strong demeanour. The fact that the pope’s brown eyes were increasingly approaching saucer size made Thomas immediately return to Goffredo.
“You cannot be pregnant, Goffredo, you are a man,” Thomas frantically yet gently held Goffredo’s shoulders.
*)*
Goffredo was somehow pregnant and, as his view dictated, kept the baby—as known to Vincent and Thomas since the Italian came into them crying. Goffredo also asked to have you called as a friend, to add a layer to the pair's shock.
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“Oh, Thomas, I wish I was on a spaceship, just you and me and an impossible view.”
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Vincent loved the sound of Thomas’ soft noises, whether when he fucked him or washed his hair.
Vincent loved Thomas so much.
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Among All Songs, No Sweeter One by Valgus
Fandoms: Conclave (2024), Conclave - Robert Harris
27 Jun 2025
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Ray kept finding Janusz by the statue of Bernard of Clairvaux in the Vatican gardens. It took the Irish monsignor a good while until he learned that the great reformer and doctor of the Church was known for…
… His homophilic poems and his love for the Irish archbishop Malachy of Armagh.
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I Could’ve Made You Pray to Jesus, ‘Would’ve Showed You to the Light (To Be Born Again) by Valgus
Fandoms: Conclave (2024), Conclave - Robert Harris
25 Jun 2025
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“God created sex,” you reason easily and fingers his cross before tugging it towards you, making his breath hitches. “Isn’t that right, Your Eminence?”
Up close, he smells of peppermint toothpaste as he grunts, “Call me Goffredo.” You imagine him brushing his teeth well before you came; the pretty young thing decades younger than him. It’s kind of sweet.
“Goffredo,” you cup his face and kiss him.
He’s sloppy. Like old men sloppy. Or maybe clergymen sloppy.
Nevertheless, you enjoy it. His tongue is thick and warm and wet and he holds on to you, his large hands around your torso, and you let his tongue slides into your mouth.
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I Am What God Made Me—Warts and All, As My Dear Thomas Says by Valgus
Fandoms: Conclave (2024), Conclave - Robert Harris
23 Jun 2025
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See, the thing is, Vincent hasn’t been around many Caucasian. Sure, they are here and there, but he mostly lived in places dominated by other races.
So… he isn’t sure whether Thomas Lawrence is very beautiful for European standards.
But he sure is for Vincent.
Vincent thanks the Lord for sending him one of His angels—Vincent doesn’t know why he thinks that way; he just does and more often than not it’s enough—and smiles at Cardinal Lawrence.
("Conclave" from the beginning but from the perspective of a smitten Vincent.)
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The Tedesco Redemption Arc (Lowkey) by Valgus
Fandoms: Conclave (2024), Conclave - Robert Harris
22 Jun 2025
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“Oh, look, Eminence Tedesco is chasing a turtle.”
“... Eminence Tedesco is what?!” Agnes snaps her head towards the window. “Sister Shanumi, please don’t start recording this,” Agnes sighs without really trying to stop her.
Shanumi swears Agnes is kind of smirking as she looks out the window.
(Hello. I am one of the Vatican turtles called Laurie. For some reason, Ted Disco is following me! Very fastly! Very scarily! What is going on?!)
(AKA Tedesco tries to say sorry but he is, quite unfortunately, Tedesco.)
Series
- Part 3 of Turtles All The Way Up (Laurie’s Diary)
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It Shall Be Okay, My Grey Eyed Friend by Valgus
Fandoms: Conclave (2024), Conclave - Robert Harris
22 Jun 2025
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After my best friend the Two Legs in White passed, I, turtle, started getting a new visitor in the pond.
His name, interestingly enough, was Yarn Whoosh. I heard other Two Legs called him that, especially Tom Ash.
Like his name, he is very... yarn-y and wind seemingly can easily carry him away, like whoosh.
Yarn is a thin man who trembles, sweats, and smells rather funny when I first met him. It is not a good smell, but he also looks very distressed. Perhaps Two Legs emit such smell when they're sad? Like a bug? Maybe. I don't know much, I'm just a turtle.
He looks at me and he starts crying.
Oh.
Oh no.
Oh, Yarn, what is going on?
(Laurie the turtle is trying to cheer Janusz up.)
Series
- Part 2 of Turtles All The Way Up (Laurie’s Diary)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 460
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 16
- Hits:
- 107
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Hello. I am a turtle. I live in a stony pond in the Vatican. This is my story of meeting a new friend in white. (I will later learn that his name is Benny Taz and he is probably a mate of Tom Ash.)
Series
- Part 1 of Turtles All The Way Up (Laurie’s Diary)
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Pope Innocent XIV’s Lockscreen by Valgus
Fandoms: Conclave (2024), Conclave - Robert Harris
21 Jun 2025
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Pope Innocent XIV’s lock screen is a photo of Cardinal Thomas Lawrence. His Holiness doesn’t really elaborate.
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With the power of God, the pope teaches the Patriarch of Venice by… turning him into a ferret?
“My brothers in Christ, I’m not taking care of this ferret overnight,” Thomas firmly says with what he hopes to be a strong finality.
Ray shakes his head, quiet but defiant.
Aldo groans, “There is no way you are handing that… slinky creature to me.”
Sister Agnes huffs, “You are all such little boys, Eminence.”- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 644
- Chapters:
- 1/?
- Kudos:
- 10
- Hits:
- 128
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He Doesn’t Look a Thing Like Jesus, But— by Valgus
Fandoms: Conclave (2024), Conclave - Robert Harris
20 Jun 2025
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I said he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus
He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus
But more than you’ll ever know -
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You met a sweet man who plans to sleep overnight in the Beirut Airport. Surely, you cannot let this slide! Thankfully he said yes when you offered your paid hotel room five minutes away from the airport.
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With difficulty, the cat types:
yrez it mee
Thomas groans, “Why did God do this?”Vincent turns into a cat on his first break week as the pope. Thomas exposes himself as a cat person.
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I’ve Got the Worst Taste in Boys by Valgus
Fandoms: Conclave (2024), Conclave - Robert Harris
18 Jun 2025
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Aldo frowns.
But he stays.
(Why does he stay?)
[Of Charley's "Worst Taste In Girls" (2023)]
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You moved to Rome the day Pope Innocent XIV is announced in the balcony.
On the other side of the city, Vincent starts remembering something horrid he once experienced.
Thomas tries to help, as usual, but it's harder when a new graphic designer for the Vatican's PR office—you—looks so much like his dear Vincent that Thomas cannot help but wonder. Ray hovers around.