beanmochiii



Recent works

Recent series

  1. Summary

    my toh au
    its in chronological order 👍

    Words:
    3,388
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    4
  2. Words:
    2,174
    Works:
    1
    Bookmarks:
    4

Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “There’s four of them—fight, flight, freeze, and fawn," Hunter explains. "My therapist wanted me to write about some times when I felt like I reacted each of those ways.”

    “And you’re having trouble thinking of some?” Luz asks, propping her feet in his lap.

    “It’s not that I can’t think of any,” Hunter says, cradling his journal. He rubs the soft leather cover, grazing his fingers over the bumps of the many vinyl stickers Luz has given him. “It’s that I’m thinking of too many.”

    “Oh.”

    [Or: Hunter, homework, and some really rather horrible memories.]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,918
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    117
    Kudos:
    943
    Bookmarks:
    163
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    09 Jan 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    yay

  2. Public Bookmark 19

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    Summary

    Sometimes, Camila kind of wants to pull out the garbage can, into the back garden, and scream into it for about an hour. Maybe she’s exaggerating. Maybe she’s not.

    She’s spent her life trying to protect Luz from what you realise when you peel back the layers. She’s done things that she regrets, things that she’ll take to her grave, things that got her knuckles bloody, things that should have, things that have gotten her branded as a whole variety of cruel nicknames. It’s all about being a mother, it’s all about realising that there’s a beating heart that relies on yours.

    It’s about learning that even if you want to walk out and throw yourself in the creek that runs behind your house, close to that weird abandoned one that you swear you see silhouettes in the cracked windows of, you can’t do that because you’re forty-five and not fifteen.

    But she’s so, so tired of making choices that she thinks are good, or at least ones that she can defend in a court of law, if it comes down to it.

     

    Camila's got emotions, and talks through them with Eda in the middle of the night. Mostly, she's just angry. But even anger is complicated. Most anger is just grief in a heavy coat.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,417
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    76
    Bookmarks:
    19
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    625

    14 Dec 2025

    Bookmarker's Notes

    good god. so good

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    You're not stupid. You can see the way stardust has been acting lately. How he lights up just a little more when he sees you under the tree, starts walking just a little faster, how their smile gets just a little more real. The way he ducks his head to hide in the collar of their cloak when you call them stardust, as if it’s a sweet pet name and not an inside joke for an audience of one. The light dusting of blush that rises to his face when you say something that implies you might care about him, even just a tiny bit.

    You really should try and discourage their feelings. They'll fade eventually anyway, and it'll be easier for both of you if you just. Make him stop liking you, rather than waiting for it to happen on its own.

    You can manage that, right? How hard could it be?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,375
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    74
    Kudos:
    458
    Bookmarks:
    113
    Hits:
    3,280

    02 Feb 2025

    Bookmarker's Notes

    goood…. augh

  4. Public Bookmark 27

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    Summary

    Here’s what you won’t know how to put in words, soon enough. Not until you inevitably forget, again, like a wild animal who cuts itself on the brambles of bushes for the meager hope of food.

    It wasn’t a change, whatever you did. Not a flexible part of your being, not something up to circumstance and choice— though if you tried to tell it to a vaugardian they’d tell everything can Change.

    Protecting is an integral part of you. It’s— words are already escaping you, but stars, you have to try, you have to explain it to someone even if only yourself— it’s the building blocks of your very existence. Rocks are rocks, crystals are crystals, stars are stars, iron is iron regardless of if it’s shaped on a sword or a horseshoe.

    You’re Siffrin. Siffrin protects. If you did not protect, you would not be Siffrin anymore.

    (Or, in which Siffrin is a paladin instead of a rogue. Despite what could expect, not knowing his own oaths changes very little.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,577
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    135
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    655

    02 Aug 2024

    Bookmarker's Notes

    interesting

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    ACT ??? Scene 15

    [THE TRAVELER blinks awake in a field from a dream.

    The sun is warm. The grass beneath is soft. It is, truly, a lovely day.]

    TRAVELER [Aside]: ...It's not so bad, is it? Being here in the loops?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,073
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    153
    Kudos:
    729
    Bookmarks:
    222
    Hits:
    4,849

    02 Aug 2024

    Bookmarker's Notes

    hehe