codswallop
Fandoms
- Sherlock (BBC TV 2010) (35)
- Schitt's Creek (12)
- Dept. Q (TV) (10)
- Cabin Pressure (7)
- Good Omens (TV) (5)
Recent works
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Summary
Carl's precognitive abilities chose the worst time imaginable to crap out on him: right before the Leith Park shooting. Four months later, he's determined to try and get them back, even if it means working closely with his annoying new assistant.
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Summary
Sometimes Carl is a bit much, and Akram has to show him how to behave. With teeth.
(A short follow-up to Lessons that explores how Akram feels about their arrangement.)
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Family Meal by thirdbird (codswallop) for BlueAndPink, swimmingfox
Fandoms: Dept. Q (TV)
31 Dec 2025
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Summary
Akram attempts to casually break the news to his daughters about his relationship with Carl over cheddar-and-pickle sandwiches. It doesn't go as well as he'd hoped.
Series
- Part 3 of Akram at Home
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Summary
Carl and Akram's knack for nonverbal communication is put to the test when they find themselves less alone in Carl's flat than they'd planned on.
(Qvember day 30, triple prompt: "Not a single word spoken," "Trapped," and "Fuck around and find out.")
Series
- Part 2 of Akram at Home
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Summary
A dangerously sleep-deprived Carl is no match for James Hardy, Nap Enforcer.
(Qvember Day 13: Sleep Deprived)
Recent series
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Summary
A collection of unrelated, nonsequential one-shots in which Aziraphale and Crowley kiss.
- Words:
- 11,925
- Works:
- 5
- Bookmarks:
- 8
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- Words:
- 14,598
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 4
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Summary
Sherlock experiments with pain; John helps him, with reservations.
- Words:
- 4,311
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 73
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Not Your Average Threesome 'Verse: John/Lestrade + Sherlock by codswallop
Fandom Sherlock (TV)
21 Mar 2013
Summary
In which John and Lestrade begin to date, and Sherlock inserts himself into the situation in various ways.
- Words:
- 36,960
- Works:
- 8
- Bookmarks:
- 289
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Summary
Christmas, 2005: A consulting detective overdoses on cocaine at a bar in London, and his life is saved by an army doctor who happens to be home on leave.
(First story is gen, romance develops in subsequent parts.)
- Words:
- 13,467
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 505
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
He hadn’t noticed that he’d lost the gloves until it was too late.
Bookmarked by thirdbird (codswallop)
23 Feb 2026
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Summary
Carl finds himself in another less-than-ideal situation.
Akram is less than pleased about it.
Bookmarked by thirdbird (codswallop)
10 Sep 2025
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Summary
Straddling the man's thighs, Akram stands more dumbfounded than he'd prefer staring down at his new boss.
Bookmarked by thirdbird (codswallop)
10 Sep 2025
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Summary
The thing was I knew it was stupid. All of it, all of the parts. Especially the part where I was even considering it. But ART didn’t have to ask.
And I didn’t have to let it in, so I did.
Series
- Part 1 of sandbox environment
Bookmarked by thirdbird (codswallop)
11 Aug 2025
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Summary
Crowley has a passing familiarity with various forms of sin. Aziraphale has opinions.
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balnea vina Venus
corrumpunt corpora nostra…
sed vitam faciunt balnea vina Venus"Baths, wine, and the acts of Venus corrupt our bodies… but baths, wine, and the acts of Venus make life worth living."
— epitaph of Tiberius Claudius Secundus
DELIGHTED AND FLATTERED to have this lovely cover created by the amazing ineffableclassics.
Series
- Part 1 of Ineffable Romans
Bookmarked by thirdbird (codswallop)
16 Dec 2023