egeria



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    Ilya asked Shane’s father while Shane and his mother were talking outside: “Is boyfriends correct? Lovers is incorrect, but I am not sure what is correct.”

    “Well,” Mr. Hollander said. “‘Lovers’ is usually used for, hm, a mistress or an affair. Something kind of sordid. Though--you would say Romeo and Juliet is a play about two lovers,” he said. He paused his knife on the chopping board. “Somehow that’s right and using it for real people isn’t right. English is a damn funny language, Ilya."

    “Yes,” Ilya said from the bottom of his heart.

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    22 Apr 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Rozanov made a dismissive noise. “No, no, I will pick you up. Send me your address.”

    “I’m not giving you my home address.”

    “Why not!”

    “Because you’ll probably post it on social media to psych me out before our next game.”

    That made Rozanov laugh. “It is good idea,” he said. Stopped laughing. Started again. Blew out a breath like he had to get himself together. “I might do this to you,” he allowed, “but you have nice boyfriend living with you now. I would not do this to him. You are safe.”

     

    In which Ilya Rozanov adopts himself into Scott and Kip's household and refuses to leave. Kip finds this very sweet. Scott is going to kill him.

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    21 Apr 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    After Shane films an obscenely slutty advertisement for a sports drink company, the whole goddamn world decides he’s their new favorite sex symbol. Ilya reacts perfectly normally to this latest development.

    Or, 5 times Ilya is consumed with jealousy over his own fucking boyfriend + 1 time Shane shows him who he really belongs to.

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    21 Apr 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 51

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    And he couldn’t stop thinking about it, going around and around in circles in his brain, how he wanted to be himself, faggy little Ilya, who wore adidas and also maybe mesh crop tops (maybe with an ear piercing? He’d always wanted one), and danced in gay clubs and made friends with nice people with coloured hair, and walked in pride parades, and held hands with a Shane-Hollander-shaped boyfriend, out in the daylight where everyone could see, and how he couldn’t do any of that while he played hockey, but he loved hockey too, loved bashing guys into the boards and spitting blood, loved the red of it, loved talking absolute shit, loved being an asshole, loved racing Shane across the ice, loved the scratching noise skates made on ice, loved his boys, loved it all, but it wouldn’t love him back unless he made it love him back.

    Sometimes he just wanted to be Ilyushka, the boy who danced with his friends and lay on beds, talking about nothing. The closest he felt to that kid was when he was with Shane.
    -

    Ilya Rozanov, what do you want? And how are you going to get it?

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    19 Apr 2026

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    Good riddance, he thinks. Or maybe feels obligated to think. He’s not sure. It feels like a natural thing to think about a brother who hit you and insulted you and extorted you for most of your short, miserable time together. He’s thought about it before, Alexei dying. The life he lived had not been conductive to longevity.

    I am the last Rozanov, he thinks, and that is an emotion he can parse, finally: closure. Like setting the last piece down in a puzzle.

    It’s only after the first puff of smoke escapes his lips that Ilya remembers Alexei’s daughter.

    Or:
    Two years after he gets married, Ilya Rozanov receives the news that his older brother has died.

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    16 Apr 2026