fadedclassic
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Summary
Barstool Sports Canada reports that Montreal Metros captain Shane Hollander has started learning Russian from new teammate and Russian rookie Sergei Dovonchezky.
Ilya has some thoughts. None of them are particularly kind.
Series
- Part 6 of my heated rivalry anon fics
- Language:
- English
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- 29,008
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- 4/4
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Bookmarked by fadedclassic
06 Feb 2026
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Ilya picks up on the third ring, breathing heavily into the phone. Shane hears a door slam shut through the device. “Do not yell at me.”
Shane stares at the half-empty bottle of vodka on the coffee table. “You suck.”
“I suck? I scored hat-trick! In your stupid body! I have not eaten in six hours, Hollander. I have not pissed. I have not laid down. I want to go home.”
“Rozanov–”
“Your mother has called twenty times. Your manager has called thirty times. Your father text me picture of crossword puzzle and ask for help. Clue is about American President from the 1980s. I cannot help!”
OR: the hollanov bodyswap fic.
Series
- Part 3 of cjo + hr
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,370
- Chapters:
- 1/1
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- 10
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- 588
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- 20,214
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Bookmarked by fadedclassic
04 Feb 2026
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you, plural.
or: Svetlana has Ilya, and then she does not.
Bookmarked by fadedclassic
04 Feb 2026
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Alexei Rozanov dies at 37. Ilya goes home for the funeral.
Series
- Part 1 of Concertina
Bookmarked by fadedclassic
29 Jan 2026
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“Should call you the Ottawa Puppies,” says the Toronto centre, Svensson. As an insult it makes no sense, so Ilya ignores it, until he continues, “Hear Hollander keeps you on a short leash.”
Ilya is the captain, so if anything, he should be holding the leash. In English, you can be singular or plural, but he knows what Svensson is trying to say. He is saying Ilya Rozanov, you are Hollander’s bitch.
“Only sometimes,” Ilya replies, grinning. He wins the face off.
OR: Ilya trains himself to be a very, very good guard dog for Shane.
Series
- Part 1 of Dog
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,424
- Chapters:
- 1/1
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- 11
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- 853
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Bookmarked by fadedclassic
29 Jan 2026