fishchipmatcha



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    The internet has decided that Ilya Rozanov is absolutely, definitely, 100% banging a Hollander.

    They’ve got photo evidence. Multiple sightings. Instagram stories from the same café. The man stayed OVERNIGHT at the Hollander residence.

    It’s the most legendary power move in NHL history: seduce your rival’s hot mom to assert dominance. There’s just one tiny problem with this theory. Ilya’s fucking a Hollander, all right. Just … not that one.

    Or in which Ilya’s boyfriend's mother keeps adopting him, the internet keeps assuming the worst, and Shane Hollander is having the worst month of his entire life. At least until he does something that breaks hockey forever.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,813
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    842
    Kudos:
    22,590
    Bookmarks:
    5,096
    Hits:
    142,476

    10 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane Hollander learns Russian in secret, eventually it’s not a secret anymore.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,347
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    3,895
    Bookmarks:
    614
    Hits:
    22,144

    09 Feb 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya gets his bell rung while playing for Ottawa against Montreal

    He forgets how to speak English and can only speak Russian

    Luckily, Shane Hollander, the light of his life, has learned Russian

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,490
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    56
    Kudos:
    4,321
    Bookmarks:
    764
    Hits:
    26,583

    09 Feb 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Joint Statement

    @ScottHunter_Official and @haydenpike:

    Official Statement:

    Over the past several months, we have been targeted by a specific individual spreading malicious misinformation and targeted harassment. We believe in free speech, but we will no longer tolerate this level of toxicity. We are currently working with legal counsel and are ready to sue for defamation and cyber-harassment. This behavior stops now.

     

    ilya @shaneszn: @ me next time???

     

    or: ilya runs a shane hollander stan account that also doubles as a scott hunter and hayden pike endings one.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    573
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    1,987
    Bookmarks:
    132
    Hits:
    14,004

    09 Feb 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Review #4

    ⭐ (One Star) i am convinced the chef used to be a taxidermist because this chicken is drier than my grandma’s ashes.

    Owner’s Response: and yet you licked the plate clean, you absolute freak. i watched the CCTV. see you tomorrow for your usual, i guess?

    or: Ilya is always leaving shitty reviews wherever he eats until he meets his match in Shane.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,133
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    134
    Kudos:
    4,891
    Bookmarks:
    572
    Hits:
    27,899

    09 Feb 2026