8 Works by flatwoods
Listing Works
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“Melanie did say she and Georgie wanted to visit soon the last time you called, right? Maybe she'll get so pissed off by the roads up here that she'll go back to the Slaughter."
“Maybe their car will die on the way up and they won’t be able to call for help and they’ll get lost in the Scottish wilderness.”
"Maybe they'll forget I'm allergic to cats and bring the Admiral up and I'll break into hives and die."
“Maybe Georgie will bring pictures from when I didn’t wash my hair for three weeks in college and you’ll break up with me.”
Martin laughs at that. “Maybe I will,” he says, and Jon smacks him lightly on the arm. “Hey!”
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“Oh, right, see—the, the problem with trying to make someone jealous like that is it just shows how much you still care about the other person, right? Like, I really do not give a shit if Peter hooks up with someone else. I honestly wish he would.” The man downs the rest of his whiskey. “It would make my life a hell of a lot easier,” he mutters into the glass.
“I—I get that,” Jon says somewhat stiltedly. He’s still confused as to what exactly this guy wants, and who he is, and why they’re still talking.
“What I’m saying is that I don’t care if Peter flirts with someone all night, but he’s proving to me right now that he would definitely care if I did. And I’m guessing it’s the same for your ex?”
“Oh,” Jon says as he suddenly gets it. "Oh."
“So….” The other man taps his fingernails against his now-empty glass. Jon realizes he looks rather nervous. “Uh, I’m Martin, by the way.”
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i can hardly stand the sight of it all by flatwoods
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
09 May 2020
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Gerard Keay was in the middle of getting the eye tattoos on his left knuckles touched up when he remembered he was dying.
Just as the tattoo artist closed a nigh-imperceptible gap in the iris of his ring finger—the last of the little faded blemishes that had accumulated in the years since he’d first got them—the knowledge that he had a brain tumor popped into his head as casually as if he were remembering a crush he’d had in middle school. It felt familiar, sort of nauseating, and in an upsetting way, weirdly funny.
“Oh, fuck,” said Gerry, mostly because he didn’t know what else he could say.
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you see two red lights and nine yellow lights in the forest it is mothman and his menorah by flatwoods
Fandoms: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
06 Dec 2018
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a light hanukkah fic for these dark winter months
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“Hey, Taako? One more question?”
Taako groaned. “About to sleep here, Mags, but fine. Shoot.”
“Does Merle know you’re dating the guy who cut off his arm?”
Taako’s eyes snapped open in alarm. Shit. “I mean… technically you cut off his arm, homie.”
“Yeah, and you cheered me on while it happened—fine. Lemme fix my question. Does Merle know you’re dating the guy that tried to kill him and instead caused the loss of his arm in the process?”
“…No. No he doesn’t."
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“I think I fell for you third year. But I didn’t properly realize it until the start of fifth.” I’m sort of praying he doesn’t remember what he was like in fifth year, and sort of praying he does.
“Fifth year…” Snow looks like he’s thinking. (A rare expression on him.) Something terrible crosses his face, and he looks up, aghast. “No. Fifth year, really?”
“Fifth year.”
Snow looks like he might just die on the spot.
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He’s sleeping in my arms. Or at least I thought he was. But now he’s saying something, something that’s soft and sad based on the cadence of his voice, even if I can’t quite tell what it is.
“What?” I push against him, sleepily. He looks up at me, and then away. Like he’s ashamed. “I said, I’m sorry.”
My brain’s foggy. I have no idea what he’s trying to tell me. “Sorry for what? Spit it out.”
For a few seconds, the room is deadly quiet. I can’t even hear him breathing.
“Sorry you fell for the Chosen One and ended up with a Normal.”
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this should be a lot easier than it is by flatwoods
Fandoms: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
23 Oct 2017
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Hypothetically, your soulmate's first words to you are tattoed on your body from birth. And, of course, your first words to them are written on theirs.
Hypothetically.
(in other words this soulmate universe was not designed to handle common phrases or polyamory)