honimoni
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“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
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- English
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- 21/21
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Bookmarked by honimoni
28 Jan 2026
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“Age of Consent” by New Order blares out, loud enough for Jonathan to hear across the room. He had been there when Steve chose it a few months ago during another war room: “‘Age of Consent’ is good, I guess.”
“It can’t be I guess, dingus! It has to be enough to save you from a brutal interdimensional death!” Robin snapped.
Steve had rolled his eyes. “What’s Vecna gonna want with me anyways, Rob? I’ll do ‘Age of Consent.’”
Jonathan had known, that night, that it might be the wrong choice. But he didn’t say anything because it had been years and he could be wrong and maybe some selfish, petty part of him didn’t want to give Steve the satisfaction of Jonathan still knowing.
Something lifts Steve off of the couch.
“It’s not working!” Robin screams.
And Jonathan knows why it isn’t working. He remembers. Whatever high school bullshit Steve has put him through doesn’t particularly matter in the face of watching him be destroyed and turned inside out. So Jonathan, calmer than he feels, says, “It’s Hank Williams. Do you have Hank Williams?”
Bookmarked by honimoni
09 Jan 2026
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lindsey's super rad thirty day nsfw challenge by linzeigh
Fandoms: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
23 Aug 2018
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30 prompts of nuttin'
Bookmarked by honimoni
30 May 2019
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how to seduce your TA who’s not actually your TA: a survival guide by park jimin by moochild
Fandoms: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
18 Jan 2019
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Jimin finally manages to peel open his eyes to try and reassure the man in front of him only to squeeze them shut almost immediately after. Nice. The man who nearly killed him is a walking, breathing, work of art. Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool—
- Language:
- English
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- 12,773
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- 1/1
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- 1
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Bookmarked by honimoni
31 Mar 2019
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Bookmarked by honimoni
07 Mar 2019