jamespctters
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i would never speak it (your secret) by jamespctters, lauriesamy for rizcriz
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
22 Jan 2026
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Summary
“It just—when we were at the club. You made it seem like maybe, there’s a reason you’re not dating… women.”
Eddie freezes. Ravi had said it the other night, but Eddie had not been expecting him to so boldly repeat it after the previous unfavorable reaction.
“And—I—I know that sometimes reasons for not dating women can be… um, you know, hard to process. Alone.”
Oh good lord, he’s really going there.
OR: 9x07 Secrets (Eddie and Ravi's version)
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“But I just—I need you to know how much you mean to me.”
Hen frowns. “And you think the best way to do that is by breaking into my house when I’m not home and weeding my wife’s flower beds?”
“No, Hen, you don’t get it,” Buck says mournfully, his voice cracking just slightly. “It’s not about the weeding or the baking. It’s—you’re my best friend and I forgot your birthday.”
OR: Buck tries to show Hen how much he appreciates her.
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“This isn’t my life!” Buck exclaims. “This is not how it’s supposed to be. Abby is supposed to be gone. She’s supposed to have left. As in, left Los Angeles, not left me to marry Bobby. Bobby’s supposed to marry Athena.”
“Cap and Athena? But she’s—”
“Married. Yeah,” Buck huffs. “Like I said, that doesn’t work out.”
“Because Real Michael is gay?” Eddie asks skeptically.
“Real Michael is gay,” Buck confirms.
OR: After his break up with Tommy, Buck falls asleep on Eddie’s couch and wakes up in a world where Bobby is married to Abby, Hen and Karen are divorced, Athena and Michael are faking a happy marriage, Chim has a daughter that is not Buck's niece, and—just to really, personally fuck with him—Eddie and Maddie are engaged to be married.
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“Just say it, Chim,” Eddie replies, his tone clipped.
Chimney winces but presses on. “Eddie…” He hesitates, glancing at Karen like he’s begging her for an out. She nods firmly. No turning back now. “Buck is dead.”
The line goes silent. A heavy, eerie silence that settles over the room like a shroud. She knows what Eddie must be feeling right now—the cold shock, the hollow ache, the frantic disbelief. She remembers how it felt when Chim had told her Hen was dead, how her world had stopped spinning for one agonizing moment. Her hands curl into fists against the table. This is fine. This is part of the plan.
But then there’s a screech through the phone, followed by an extended, blaring honk.
Karen’s stomach drops. Her eyes dart to Hen’s, wide with alarm.
Fuck.
OR: When Eddie leaves for Texas on bad terms with Buck, their friends can't help but meddle.
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Summary
“But I could,” Buck insists. “I could go with you.”
“Buck—”
“I didn’t say I would,” he clarifies quickly, “I just said I could.”
“You can’t,” Eddie says, shaking his head. “Your life is here, in L.A. Everything and everyone you love is here.”
“Not everyone.”
Not if you leave.
Not if Christopher never comes back.
Not everyone.
Buck doesn’t say any of it, but he thinks Eddie hears it anyway.
OR: Eddie decides to go to Texas to get his son back, unsure of when he will return; Buck realizes what never wanting to live without his best friend actually means.